Half Dead King (Uther,Arthur)

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther was not surprised by Arthur's reactions. The prince would have to learn to trust him again, and it wouldn't be easy for Uther-especially with what he was still hiding. He felt the pangs of guilt every time he said that he had no more secrets, but he could not tell Arthur this final one. He could not induce what would certainly be his death at Arthur's hands.

"I do not expect you to trust me immediately. Or for some time to come. I do speak the truth, but I expect you are right, you must ultimately decide for yourself. I can only hope that you do hold to the right truths. You have never given me reason to doubt you before. I do not doubt that you will choose correctly about Morgause, you have seen for yourself what she can do." he said."I can only regain your trust day by day, demonstrating rather than simply saying."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur knew that it would take time for the tensions between him and his father to decrease and while he did not want to have such conversations with him . . . they could not be fully avoided. Arthur did not think he would ever be able to fully express the extent of how betrayed he felt by his lies. His father may have an idea, but even now, Arthur was holding back. What little remarks that he lashed out at him . . . were only but a semblance of how he truly felt over everything that had happened. "As I said, what I deem to be true will be at my own accord." He refused to be manipulated. He refused to be the last to know about matters that affected his life. "I have seen what she can do, what she is capable of, what she has destroyed . . . " Arthur's voice trailed off as he looked to the ground. He held back mentioning specifics. He was mainly talking about Morgana, for he had no doubt that Morgause had manipulated her to a certain extent. Of course, he knew the strength in Morgana's character . . . there must have been enough initial hatred in her for her to be so ready to kill Uther, as well as himself.

Arthur looked back up at his father, his expression no longer a pensive one, but rather, regained his composure. He would not break in front of his father. "Precisely," he stated when his father spoke of proving he was trustworthy, rather than just saying it. Truth be told, Arthur hated this distrust between them, but it could not be helped. "Only time will tell," he continued in a firm voice. "And in the mean time, as I said, I would expect you to trust my judgments and decisions I make for the kingdom. As you said, you have had no reason to doubt me before." Arthur only wished he could say the same about his father. While he had brought up this subject before, Arthur needed to be clear that with Uther asking him to become king in his stead, that he would not challenge any decisions Arthur made that he felt would best benefit the kingdom. It would not help Camelot if the father and son were at odds, fighting over political choices, as it would only create further tension. And such possibilities needed to be abolished right now.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther knew the futility of arguing with Arthur. He could overrule him in court matters; he still wouldn't be able to keep himself from arguing with Arthur if he did not like something, that was just his nature. But, he was too exhausted to argue now about trusting judgement. Arthur was right about not having reason to doubt him.

However,he couldn't make Arthur believe something he didn't want to, he could only give his reasons for believing it himself and leave it at that. He always suspected that Arthur disagreed more than he'd admit, and he'd be even more apt to do it now. He didn't have a lot of reason to question the man his son had turned out to be, but he would probably always worry.

"I accept that. I cannot force you to accept something as truth. I can give my reason for believing the way I do, but no one can force another to adopt the same point of view."he said. "And yes, that is precisely so. Only time will tell."

"And,although as king, my word would still be final, regardless of the subject, you are right, you have not given me reason to doubt your judgement. I do not doubt that you will care for the kingdom well while I am recovering my strength."

[Arthur Pendragon]

His word would still be the final one. And there it was. He knew it was hard for his father to pass the throne to someone else while he was still alive so it shouldn't surprise Arthur that he was still trying to assert his authority. He would not accept or even consider his decisions as legitimate and justified. At least he acknowledged it, though he seemed to have very little other choice. "I am taking the throne not because I wish to over throw you, or overrule your judgment," Arthur began to say, wanting this to be extremely clear to him. That the reason he was taking the role of king was not because he had malicious feelings towards his father. He was displeased at the very least; angry and hurt by his lies . . . but he never would wish ill will to him. He was still his father, even with his highly flawed decisions he had made.

"But because you are in no state to make decisions or lead a kingdom." Again, it was not meant as an insult meant to hurt him; it was only meant to be the truth. His father's emotional state was a wreck and he could not be relied upon as a king to keep a clear and rational head. "With that in mind father, my word will be the final one for as long as my rule over Camelot should last." He felt his tone highly formal; highly professional for his words were just as hard to say as they were to hear. He did not want his relationship with his father to be this tense . . . but it was inevitable granted everything that had happened. It was time Arthur stepped up; became a ruler when Camelot needed him to be. And he would not disappoint the people.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther struggled with his feelings of despair and powerlessness. He knew that it was for the good of the kingdom right now, but he hated feeling helpless and useless. The one thing that comforted him is that he knew it would not be permanent, at least not as long as he still had breath. Once he had recovered, he would assume his full duties as king again.

"I know it is for the good of the kingdom. And I do trust your judgement. You have learned well, and I have no reason to believe you will not do your best. I still hold to the hope, though, that the day will come when I will have regained sufficient strength that may return to my full duties as king. But until then, there is little choice, if we are to do what is best for Camelot."he said."Of course, the people will have to be informed, as well as the council. I do not yet even know if they have all survived. I would not be surprised if Morgana executed them all, although it was not public if she did."

[Arthur Pendragon]

His father seemed to accept the decision, knowing it was what was needed, but at the same time . . . Arthur was aware that his reign as king would be, long term. It would not be a matter of a few hours or days, but maybe months or even years. "It will not be that simple father," he told him, softening his voice a bit so that he knew he was not trying to steal the throne from it. It was not like that at all. Arthur was not like his sister in that sense. That phrase as it entered his mind was disturbing, but he did not react to it. He kept composed, not about to express his devastated he had been over everything. That was why he was perhaps a bit more cold and distant from the ki--from Uther. "But we will wait for the time to come. Until then, focus on regaining your health." He did not want to argue about that, but he knew it would not be easy for his father to just re-assume his position as King. Arthur had already brought about so many chances to the kingdom, that any grand shift in ruling, back and forth anyway, may just lead to massive confusion.

Arthur internally cringed when his father suggested that Morgana may have executed all the council members. It was a horrible thought to have, that she was capable of such a thing . . . but he knew she was. Everyone did. For she had proved that within a week. "The council meetings have already begun, discussing the very matter of who is to take the role of king." Many were leaning towards in favor of Arthur, only because they knew that Uther needed to recover. "I will inform them of your support in favor of me assuming the role, for it will most likely determine their final decision." Obviously, one of the things preventing the council from immediately deciding was the fear of tensions it may cause between father and son. But it was clear, that whatever tensions Arthur had with Uther, were not from him becoming king; there were far more personal ones.

[kinguthersqueen]

"I do assume that it will take months...I know that my wounds are not all visible. And I'm aware of what would happen if I attempted to take my place again too soon. It would be devastating if the king died because he was foolish."

Uther was referring to whatever had happened inside his body during his time in the dungeon to render him so weak. He was in confusion and denial about his mental state. He knew that he'd become ill in the damp, cold dungeon, and could feel the slight feverishness of his body. However, he had no realization or acceptance of how troubled his mind was right now. He felt the brokenness and exhaustion, but was not in position to realize how impaired his judgement was.

"That is good. They must choose you...any other decision would be unacceptable. You are yet young, but you have learned well and you will be a capable leader. I know you will not disappoint either them or me. I do believe they will strongly consider my judgement in the matter."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Oddly enough, Arthur was not overly concerned with his father’s approval. He did not need to hear justification from him as to why he was fit for the role of king. He was ready for it. He had already made decisions for himself; ones that defied the laws and traditions of the kingdom. No longer was he the man who was too afraid to publicly disagree with his father. "I will not disappoint the kingdom," he said confidently, as if to point out that he was not afraid of disappointing his father by purposely leaving out mention of that. His father had already disappointed him with the decisions he made.

By dishonoring his mother’s memory by bedding another woman; by producing a daughter and fail to recognize her; for having lied to him about the existence of a sister. But he was still too angry to talk about such things with him. "In the meantime, you should get some rest. Has Gaius given you something to help you sleep?" It was the best way he could ask if Gaius had given him medicine for his . . . condition. To give him a bit more strength and to prevent him from hallucinating. "If not, I can send for him to do so," he added, unsure of what his father had already been given.

[kinguthersqueen]

Arthur's anger was still visible, even though he wasn't speaking of it right now. Most likely, he was still too upset to discuss it any more without both of them shouting. Uther himself felt troubled and saddened for reasons aside from those already obvious. He regretted lying to Arthur about so much,but he felt that would never get Arthur to understand his reasoning, that he had done so because he felt compelled.

He was too tired and exasperated to bring it up now, and he didn't want to have Arthur storm out. The prince was quieter and no longer using the angry tone he'd used before, and Uther chose to leave it at that for now. He shivered, his body fighting the effects of an illness from the damp cell. He wouldn't be fully sick for a time yet, but he felt the thing beginning.

"He has provided some medication, yes. I am torn about the sleeping draught...I have little doubt I will require it, but I know it will make it more difficult to escape the memories."He knew that it would keep him asleep and make it hard to wake up from the nightmares, and he wished he didn't need it but knew he would at the same time.

[Arthur Pendragon]

It felt difficult to speak of anything without the tension being there. But still. He was his father. He would make sure he received the best care . . . stemming out of unavoidable concern for him. His dilemma of staying awake, fighting sleep, or succumbing to it and allowing whatever memories and images tormented him to consume his mind . . . was indeed a difficult one to decide. Arthur knew he could not relate to such a condition; he could only give his opinion of what he thought was best for a patient. Though he knew in the end, his father would do what he believed was right. That was after all, the way it had been for his entire life -- recent truths proving just how far he would go. "You should take it," Arthur said as a suggestion rather than a command. Even if there was a chance he would become king over his father, he would never command or order him to do anything.

"I can have a servant, or Gaius, sit here to monitor you. Should they notice you are having a nightmare, they can wake you." Arthur purposely did not offer himself for the task. There was far too much for him to do. Or well, he used that as an excuse to exempt himself from the position. He remembered before when his father had been mentally ill . . . Arthur had seldom left his side. They had been preparing for a grand battle with Cenred, and even then, he had made sure to sit at his father's bedside every free moment he got. But not this time. This time, many things were different.

[kinguthersqueen]

"Perhaps it would be wise. Sleep is difficult, though. The nightmares may be more difficult to escape. It is difficult to tell what will happen."said Uther. He hated the way the sleeping draught made his nightmares seem inescapable, since he couldn't awaken from them. But, perhaps, he reasoned, the draught would prevent the nightmares and actually make him rest easier.

But he didn't like the idea of someone sitting by him, watching him sleep all the time either. Perhaps a compromise could be reached, something that would not feel like an intrusion, yet might add some comfort.

"Perhaps it could be arranged for a servant to check regularly. It is not known when I will need them to attend to me, so it would be a measure of comfort, yet prevent me from having someone in here all the time."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Nightmares were indeed a reason that some could not sleep, or were too afraid to sleep. Arthur's mind inevitably -- and involuntarily -- wandered back to Morgana and how she had had such terrible dreams. They had caused her to jolt awake, screaming sometimes . . . and it always made him wish he could take such torment. Now . . . well, everything was different. Not allowing these thoughts to linger, for they would only make his anger more apparent, he focused on his father's words, trying to disconnect himself, though it was nearly impossible. "Not sleeping isn't an option though," he reminded his father. He knew he could not say things such as 'well you will not have nightmares' because he probably would. Considering all the torment that he -- and everyone else in Camelot -- had endured.

"It will probably be better to have someone sit with you then," Arthur decided when his father suggested that people could check on him regularly. "Besides, someone should be here to monitor your health." To make sure it did not worsen, especially while he was sleeping. He was the king after all. People would expect him to have his strength returned . . . eventually. For right now, whispers in council were beginning to suggest otherwise.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther knew that Arthur spoke the truth, although he wondered about certain things as well. If someone used magic, especially if it were Nimueh, nothing could stop her coming to torment him. He hated that as much as the nightmares. She wasn't going to stop until he was dead and Uther knew it. And there was a chance she'd go after Arthur as well, not wanting Camelot ruled by another Pendragon.

"Yes, I cannot go without sleep, that is true. I only regret that if someone tries to use magic against me, it will likely be impossible to stop them, no matter how many watch me. I loathe that almost as much as the nightmares. It would not be the first time...nor likely the last."

Uther's thoughts were still heavily on Arthur, on hoping that he could guide the kingdom until he was fit enough himself to return to the throne. It would take little to start the council whispering and the other kingdoms conspiring. Even some of then nobles of Camelot would likely get ideas. He would not say it aloud, he wanted to show strength and trust, but he still feared for Camelot. There was only one thing he did say.

"I hope that you will do well, that you will make me proud. It will not be easy, as long as Morgana and Morgause still live."

[Arthur Pendragon]

It was true that there always seemed to be an attack of magic against the kingdom. But this was new. It had been such a way for the past many years, and would continue to remain this way. "There will be guards outside your door to ensure your security and protection," Arthur offered, knowing it would not totally ease his mind but perhaps it would give some comfort. "Should something happen, then they will be here within seconds. We also have double the number of men patrolling the area." For as his father said, Morgana and Morgause were still out there. These two names, one more than the other, were not ones he could easily say to his father, nor hear from his father. The wounds were too fresh and saying them now only added salt to the wound.

Arthur was not sure what to say in regards to them. He had loathed Morgause since she had shown him false illusions of his mother and Morgana . . . emotions that existed in Arthur's heart from thoughts of her could not be described in mere words. The pain was too great. "Camelot will survive," Arthur said confidently. Not just in physical terms of it being a kingdom, but also the essence of it. For it was built on so many things, and despite the betrayal within the walls . . . Arthur would make it survive. He would not let it crumble to its enemies. "And I will do all within my power to restore it." Again, not just in a physical sense, but more so in terms of restoring it in terms of the faith that people held in it . . . in the Pendragon name. Which had now been tainted for so many reasons.