Little Bundle of . . . Joy?

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur made his way through the halls with purpose. After having changed following the morning's training session, he was on his way to visit Morgana. He'd heard -- from Guinevère -- that she was not feeling well and he wondered if it was serious enough for her to see Gaius. Either way, Arthur planned to make sure that she had all that she needed, and whatever she needed. It was moments like these that his constant teasing toward her was not so dominant. But more, the concern he had for her. She was his sister of heart and they had grown up together. He could do all in his power to protect her from threats and surrounding danger . . . but he couldn't protect her from illness. He knew that it would be over dramatic to say that she was sick to the point of her life fading, but either way, he didn't like to know that she was ill. For it made him feel so powerless to do anything about it.

As he made his way to her chambers, he knocked on the door a couple of times before granting himself entrance. He saw her lying in her bed, resting but awake, and immediately noticed her pale and sickly complexion. His expression filled with concern as he made his way toward the bed, and sat on the chair that was positioned near it. "Morgana," he greeted as he looked at her, hating to see her so ill and weak. "How are you feeling?" She didn't look too good. A woman who was often so filled with life and vigor, looking so unwell and sick. It broke his heart and wished that there was some way he could take her place. For he knew that she had been this unwell for quite some time now. Only she looked particularity more sickly today. Hence, what prompted him to come to her now. And find out as much as he could about her condition.

_{Setting: Morgana's chambers
Time of Day: Early Afternoon
Timeline: Sometime in season 2
What If: Morgana was pregnant
Tag: Morgana}

[mpend]

Fear curdled in Morgana's heart and stomach as she tried to process what was happening to her. How could it have happened? She had been so careful; she had never allowed herself to be treated so by a man before, so why now? What had been so different? The ward closed her eyes against tears that were threatening to fall, refusing to show such weakness. She knew it would not be long until Uther or Arthur heard about her condition, and she dreaded telling them. She had begged Gwen not to mention anything to either of them, but she didn't know if Gwen would or not, for the maid and the Prince were so terribly close.

The knock on the door made her jump, and Morgana swallowed, unable to grant the person knocking entrance as her voice seemed to be gone, though as it opened to reveal Arthur, tears rose to her eyes once more in a mix of relief and fear as he showed concern for her. The ward managed a weak smile, wondering if she could possibly try and devert him, taking a moment to try and raise herself up on the bed, failing, her strength almost gone from the effort, her features paling even more - if that was possible. "I... " she could not lie to him. They had been through too much together for it to work, let alone the fact that Morgana was beginning to realise that she did not want to lie to him... she wanted Arthur ... no, she needed Arthur to know, to understand, and to possibly help. "I have felt better," she confessed quietly. "Are you not supposed to be training?" she asked softly, meeting Arthur's eyes. "Not that I do not appreciate the company."

[Arthur Pendragon]

"I... I have felt better." Morgana was such a strong woman. To see her in such a state devastated him, and he only prayed that she recovered swiftly. She then questioned the time he was meant to be training, quickly added assurance that she wasn't try to rid herself of his company. "I am, but I finished early so I could come see how you were doing." Before his duties left him pressed for time. Then again, he would always have time for her. There were some things that were more important; the people that he cared about. He would much rather ensure they were alright than train his men . . . not that he wasn't dedicated to his duties. He knew the importance of training sessions.

But it was no use if his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Morgana's health and wishing he could see for himself how she was doing. Which was why he was here, and the results were not reassuring. For she looked far weaker than he had ever seen her before. "Have you seen Gaius, what did he say?" Arthur both asked and assumed. Surely the physician had come by now. His father would not have let a day of her being unwell pass without having Gaius see her to see what the treatment was. Surely there was a treatment. The alternative was too painful to even consider. But seeing how weak she had been for the past while, and the way she spoke now . . . it made Arthur wonder how ill she really was.

[mpend]

The brunette could see the emotions that were playing out on Arthur's face, and wished she could do something to comfort him - anything. He was like a brother to her, and they had been through so much together. She managed a weak smile as he confessed to wanting to see how she was, grateful for his kindness. "I have missed your company," She confessed in words that were not usual for her. "Everyone here has been so solomn, I have missed the cheer you bring into a room."

Whether her words made sense or not did not seem to matter much to her, nor to Arthur, for he soon switched the subject, asking if she had seen the physician, and what he had recommended. "Yes, Gaius has come," she sighed quietly, biting her lip. "What I tell you now must not be repeated,a t least, not until I have the chance to talk to the King myself, for I do not know how he will react." the brunette swallowed, reaching forward and taking Arthur's hand. "It seems... I am with child. I am to... be a mother."

[Arthur Pendragon]

When she said that she had missed his company, and that the cheer he brought to the room . . . Arthur gave her a slightly curious and skeptical look. "You really aren't feeling well," he said in a light and teasing manner. Not to cause offense, but just to . . . well, help lighten the mood. He felt that her words however were said . . . due to rather intense circumstances. And his fear was growing because of them. They usually only exchanged such sentimental words when one of them had escaped death, or were placed in a dangerous situation . . . or when something was gravely wrong. Arthur felt it was the latter right now and while he was trying not to be solemn, it was impossible to conceal his full concern for her. He wanted to do everything in his power to protect her, and refused to believe that even an illness was out of his capability to fix. Unable to further the teasing, he just remained silent as she explained that what she was about to tell him, could not be repeated to anyone.

"Morgana, what is it?" He asked, unable to take the suspense any longer. He needed to know for there were all sorts of ideas racing through his mind. Even more so when she took his hand in her own. What was so horrible that she could not tell his father? Was it really that bad? Surely it wasn't that serious. They could get through this. He would help --"It seems... I am with child. I am to... be a mother." Arthur just stared at her for a few long moments. Clearly the words had not properly registered in his mind. For . . . no. He must have misheard her. He couldn't have heard her properly. No. NO. . . . . . No? She was . . . how did this happen?! Well, Arthur wasn't an idiot, he knew how this happened! His eyes widened with shock and confusion, and . . . so many other emotions that he could not properly describe. She was . . . with child?! She was with child! What . . . . . . . . . . . . . he didn't even know what to say. Words left him and he was rendered completely speechless.

He knew that this should be joyous news, but it was fairly evident that for both of them -- especially her -- it was more stressful than joyful. "Who's the father?" He asked in a serious voice. It was . . . not exactly the first thing he had wanted to say. Then again, he was unable to control the thoughts racing in his mind and it was the first words that slipped out. It seemed like a more fitting thing to say than congratulations. For, she was unmarried. Women who carried children and were unmarried held a strong stigma and . . . he would not have Morgana be spoken about in such a way. Being the source of gossip and rumors. They needed to know who the father was so they could arrange this properly. His question perhaps came more out of over protectiveness for Morgana than anything else. Because even though she was not going to be alone during this . . . she needed to find the father and, perhaps wed him. Maybe? He didn't know! So many different concerns and worries rushed through his mind and he was trying to handle one question and concern at a time.

[mpend]

The seriousness of Arthur's voice ripped through Morgana, causing her entire body to shudder involuntarily. She didn't dare look up at his eyes, too worried about the expression she might see there. Would he even believe she hadn't wanted this? Would he believe she hadn't done so willingly? Or would he simply shrug it aside? No, Arthur would not be like that, she knew he was not. He was so much better than Uther, and always would be.

But she would not be forced to marry. No, not some man who meant nothing to her. She would have.... well, she would rather marry Arthur! (not that she would tell him!). The ward tried to calm her racing heart with a deep breath, and looked up into the eyes of the man she thought of as a brother. "It does not matter, he is of no consequence, and I do not particuarly remember him," blast, now it sounded as though she had taken to wanting a man for a single night, and had him, then disposed of him! Could it sound any worse? Morgana winced, still not meeting Arthur's eyes. "I mean... I do not remember whom it was, and it was not... planned nor wanted." Would that explain any better? She didn't think so, but she wasn't sure.

"Please, Arthur. You cannot tell Uther." She pleaded with him, but did not dare to touch nor look at the Prince properly for fear of his reaction.

[Arthur Pendragon]

"It does not matter, he is of no consequence, and I do not particularly remember him." It doesn't matter?! She didn't remember him?! Of course it mattered! But . . . as if his mind wasn't racing enough, she continued to explain what she had meant. "I mean... I do not remember whom it was, and it was not... planned nor wanted." Unwanted? Did she meant the baby or . . . the means in which it was conceived?! Arthur found any calmness he had fading quickly and was unable to allow himself the comfort of sitting. He abruptly rose to his feet and started pacing back and forth near the bed. His hand going to his forehead as he tried to think. As he tried to calm himself down although . . . there was no calming down from this! She was with child! There was another life growing inside of her! His father couldn't kill or harm her, but he would surely kill his son for allowing this to happen! Not that it had been Arthur's fault! Well, no . . . it was. He was supposed to be protecting Morgana! From men! Not letting other men . . . get so close to her. "How can you not remember the father Morgana?!" He asked, more panic and stress in his voice than accusatory anger.

He wasn't angry. He was just . . . flustered. So flustered that one would think he was the father . . . which he was not! His father would have surely killed him then and then prayed for a son so someone could replace him as heir of Camelot! Oh. Dear. Lord. He awkwardly stopped walking when he was near her, concern suddenly coming over him, knowing he had to ask this. "Did someone take advantage of you?" He asked sternly. Because if they did . . . then Arthur was going to hunt him down like an animal. "Please, Arthur. You cannot tell Uther." Arthur recalled her earlier words of asking him to keep this to himself. While he wasn't going to run and tell his father . . . his discretion would not matter in a few months time. These troubled thoughts caused Arthur to return to pacing. "He's going to find out Morgana! This isn't something that you can exactly hide from him." She would grow larger and soon enough, her belly would look round and heavy and it would not just seem like she was gaining weight at a rapid pace!

[mpend]

The ward of Uther Pendragon flinched at the panic in Arthur's voice. She should have expected it. Really, she wasn't sure why she wasn't reacting in the same way. But ever since Gaius had confirmed the awful news, Morgana had been in a strange state of ethereal calm that she could not rid herself of. "I do not remember that night," she stated calmly in reply, her voice quiet, and not so strong as it normally was. "I..." With a breath, she simply shook her head.

The blonde's next question was not such a surprise to expect, but still equally as difficult to respond to. For she truly could not remember, and she had no way of explaining to Arthur just how much she wished she could, although part of her was very much grateful she could not. Oh, everything was such a mess. "I don't know," she confessed, knowing her words wouldn't make sense. "Arthur, I swear to you, I don't know. I... I don't remember what happened, and I don't remember who it was or when or how or why!"

As he stated that the King would find out, hysteria rippled through the Ward. "I know he's going to find out!" she exploded, her eyes wide with fright. "Do you think I look forward to seeing the disappointment in his eyes? Do you think I do not know that he will probably hate me, if not lock me up until the damn thing is born?!" She cut off as pain rippled through her body, giving a soft cry, presssing a hand to the bed in an attempt to steady herself, closing her eyes briefly. After a few moments Morgana looked up at Arthur, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "I don't know what to do," she confessed. "Please, Arthur. Please, help me."

[Arthur Pendragon]

She didn't remember?! Her answers were not helping calm Arthur down. In fact, he was just getting more upset by hearing that there was no else to take responsibility for this. That the man who had helped conceived a child in her, was not around to aid her through this . . . situation. Of course his presence would not have made Arthur any less involved. He just knew that it would be better for her -- and the child -- to have the father around. As oppose to, well, out there somewhere. Unaware that he was going to be a father. The very notion made him want to keep interrogating her for answers, but he could tell that this very subject was only distressing her further. Still, Arthur could not calm himself enough to sit again. He was too worried about . . . everything! About how his father would react, about how she was going to be a mother! A single mother? With no husband?! How was this going to work?! "You can't remember anything about him?" Arthur asked once more. This time, there was not as much shock in his voice -- though he was still trying to process this news.

He was just more . . . calm in his question. Slightly more calm . . . curiously calm! He wanted the man involved to take responsibility for his actions! He hated the thought of someone having taken advantage of her in this way and then just abandon her. Though if he thought that the previous subject caused her distress . . . the topic of his father finding out caused more. This however was not one that was so easily forgotten or dismissed. Uther's reaction to this news would . . . well, Arthur wasn't sure how he would react. Had Morgana been married and settled, Arthur knew that his father would have been ecstatic to hear that she was with child. But now, the circumstances were so far from what they should be . . . that she was right. There would be massive disappointment in him. And he could very well lock her up until the child was born! Even if it was just to avoid shame for being an unwed pregnant woman. "I have no idea how he is going to react to this," Arthur admitted. Unable to predict his father's reaction to such shocking news. How could he consider the reaction of another, when he was still trying to absorb the information himself!

Seeing the way she looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears, admitting that she didn't know what to . . . made Arthur pause in his pacing and return her gaze. He had no idea what to do either. He didn't even know how to offer words of comfort. She asking for his help and . . . he didn't know how to help her. "Have you," he paused in between words, his eyes falling from her face and off to the side as he tried to think how to phrase delicately his next words. "Considered any other options?" Arthur had heard that there were ways to terminate a pregnancy. He didn't want her to do that, and prayed with every fiber in his body that she did not choose that course of action. But he had to ask. To at least see if she planned to do that, give the child up for adoption -- which held enough complications of its own -- or if she was determined to keep it. Arthur may not like the first two options, and would try to talk her out of the first . . . but either way, he knew he would be here for her. Even in his state of shock which may never fully subside.

[mpend]

The brunette almost growled in frustration as Arthur once again asked if she remembered anything. "I told you, no," she almost snapped, only just managing to keep her voice in check. "It was a while ago, and I was drunk, and I don't even remember actually doing anything," Morgana cut herself off, berating herself for revealing so much, or rather, revealing that she remembered so little. But truly, she did not remember even doing the deed! How could Arthur then ask her what she remembered when the answer was nothing?! As the Prince admitted he didn't know how his father would react to the news, Morgana gave a defeated, tired laugh. "We both know how he will react," she replied quietly. "And it will not be favourably."

Her whole body stilled almost completely as Arthur spoke of 'other options', her mind surging blankly in panic for a moment. "What are you...?" Slowly she caught on, her eyes widening in first confusion, and then horror. "I could never! It... it is not the... it is not the... this thing's fault," she pointed out, unable to say the word 'child'. "So why should it be the one to pay for my crime? I was the fool, I was the ... " she shook her head, closing her eyes briefly. "What do you think I should do?" asked Morgana, quietly.

[Arthur Pendragon]

This was exactly why Arthur did not get drunk! . . . Well, not because of the fear of getting pregnant. Obviously not . . . since he was a man and men well, men didn't get pregnant. But, there was the possibility of getting so drunk that he bed another woman who then would get pregnant. That, would cause massive amounts of problems. Which was why Arthur was always careful in how he treated other women. He would never take their virtue, and ensure that he remained respectful of them. Which was why Arthur wanted to so badly hunt down the man who had taken advantage of Morgana when she was in a drunken state. It was why he was so disapproving of him. Of his actions. And of Morgana's obviously. But there was a difference. Arthur could kill the man and get away with it. Morgana was his sister who he would always love. He may as well target his aggressions toward the father of her child.

Really, he wouldn't actually kill him. He would just make sure he took responsibility for his actions. But that didn't seem like it was going to happen, since Morgana remembered nothing about him. "You never should have drank that much." He knew he shouldn't be lecturing her right now, but . . . this was no small matter! She was unwed, and she was pregnant . . . and as she just said, his father was not going to react favorably. "You had best think of something to tell him in regards to the father Morgana. Because if you think my inquiry is tiresome, you know how determined by father will be to find out who the father is." Who the man who had impregnated his precious ward was. Arthur got his protectiveness from someone, and it was his father. Uther would be ten times as intense as Arthur. He could then see the way confusion swept over her, before the realization . . . and then the horror of what he was suggesting.

He had to admit that he was rather relieved to hear that. But it still did not solve their problem. Though, at least their solution would be more honorable than a means of termination. But then she asked him a question that he had no answer to. "What do you think I should do?" What should she do. What an excellent question! Arthur found himself too emotionally strained to keep standing so returned to his initial position, sitting on the chair. "I have no idea Morgana," he admitted. He was as much of a loss as what to do than she was. For she was not in this alone. He wasn't going to leave her to deal with this, situation because whatever stress she was going through . . . was not hers alone to bare. It was everyone's. "Since you are keeping the baby . . . " There was no chance that such words would ever grow easier to say. "Then there is a great deal of preparations that need to be made." So many, that Arthur couldn't even organize them in his head right now.

[mpend]

A lecture from Arthur was to be expected, and though she knew he might not believe her words, the brunette could not but help plead her case nontheless. "I didn't mean to," she confessed. "I could have sworn by Camelot that I only had a few sips, but I must have had more," Morgana closed her eyes, briefly, knowing how stupid her own words sounded, even to her ears. "Why are you treating me like this?!" she demanded, on the verge of either throwing something at Arthur, or possibly just breaking into tears, something she would never do in front of the Pendragon heir.

"I could care less about Uther right now!" Dangerous but true words. Still, Morgana flinched when she realised they had been spoken aloud, though she stood her ground, meeting Arthur's eyes. "Damnation to Uther! He can think what he wants, I..." The brunette shook her head, the situation too much for her as she struggled to be free from the grip of the covers that covered her slight frame, standing weakly, though her legs shook a little from the effort, and she began to walk toward the window, determindly, needing air, needing anything but this.

Once she reached the window, Morgana sat atop the ledge, looking out into the courtyard. When she spoke, her voice was hollow. "I have not completely been honest, Arthur," she admitted. "Though I spoke words of truth, I have not told you the whole truth." There was the threat of tears once again, and this time she could not hold them back as she hid her face from the Prince, wondering what he would think of her when he found out. "I was..." a soft breath, a close of her eyes, and any determination to clear her name of solidary issue was gone. "Nevermind. I was foolish, and now I must pay the consequences." Though she screamed to tell the truth, to let him know the reality, she was not brave enough. For how did one tell their all but brother they had been raped?

[Arthur Pendragon]

From the way she was talking, it sounded as if she was drugged! This just sounded far too reckless of her . . . she was more responsible than this. She would not have let herself lower her guard so much to the point of ending up in bed with another man. "Why are you treating me like this?!" Why? WHY?! "Because you are pregnant Morgana! This is no small matter. This is huge, and . . . " And he was worried. About everything. "It is not going to be easy." There was going to be a lot to deal with. And his mind was already spinning with everything. Her next words weren't helping anything either. Damnation to Uther?! She didn't care what he thought?! "You really should care what he thinks," Arthur warned. Not dismissing his father's role in this as easily as she was. He watched her try to stand up and wanted to protest, but she just moved to sit near the window. At least she was sitting. That was good.

He remained in his chair, putting his hand in his hands for a moment as he tried to think of what to do. "I have not completely been honest." Wait . . . what? "Though I spoke words of truth, I have not told you the whole truth." Bloody hell! There was more?! Arthur wasn't sure how this could get any worse. Was she lying about not knowing who the father was? Was it someone he knew? Arthur prayed not and yet did at the same time. He wanted to know who the man was so that he could force him to take responsibility. Since he was conveniently absent from her side right now. He turned his head to look at her, the same concern and worry over his features. "You best tell me everything Morgana." Because it was better he know than before his father. And considering he was trying to help her in this situation, it was better that she not keep anything from him. Whatever she had begun to say, she needed to finish telling him.

[mpend]

"I know it is no small matter!" The ward practically exploded. "I am not STUPID, Arthur! I know how great a deal this is, despite how little I want it to be true!" She shook her head, burying it in her right hand. "I should have never told you. Better I drown myself now than the whole world find out." With a breath, she forced herself to calm down, listening to Arthur's words, though not particularly agreeing.

As he told her she should tell him everything, the brunette turned, to meet the eyes of the one she thought of as a brother, seriousness written in her features. "Everything, Arthur?" she asked, both tiredly and carefully. "Are you sure you want to know? You cannot change your knowledge once it is received..."

[Arthur Pendragon]

He knew she knew! They both knew! He just didn't know how to deal with all of this. And he was well aware that lashing out at her was not going to solve the problem. It was only going to make things worse. "I should have never told you. Better I drown myself now than the whole world find out." Arthur almost wanted to roll his eyes but resisted the urge. "Don't be so melodramatic Morgana," he said . . . still aware of how this was not helping. "There is nothing we can do now. What is done is done. And we must deal with it." There was something that could be done, but it was not something that either of them were willing to do. The alternative was too . . . horribly drastic. And Arthur doubted he could support her decision in such a thing.

But considering her horror when he presented it, it did not seem like she was willing to consider that option for a moment. Taking a calming breath, he knew he needed to be more supportive. "I am glad you told me Morgana," he said in a low voice. "You should not be forced to deal with this on your own." Even if she had gotten drunk and allowed such a thing to happen. Then again, what kind of man took advantage of a drunk woman?! More so . . . the king's ward! "Just tell me," he said, gently urging her. He was already bracing himself for it, wondering how it could possibly get any worse than it already was. Apparently . . . it could though. And he feared the answer, even though he knew he needed to hear it.

[mpend]

As the blonde snapped at her for being melodramatic, Morgana almost laughed. Almost. For in truth, there was nothing funny about this situation at all. Everything Arthur said was right, and she knew it. Something had to be sorted, and she had to tell him everything, or goodness knows what might occur. A strange calm stole over the brunette as suddenly the simplicities of the situation became clear. If she took one step, one leap, then perhaps all this would be over. The nightmare would be ended, and she and Arthur could go back to being squabbling sister and brother-of-blood. But coudl she really, truly, do such a thing? To the child? To anyone? Could she really be such a coward...? She was fearing not.

Forcing herself to listen to Arthur once more, the ward managed a faint smile. He was telling her that he was glad, glad that she had come to him with such a thing. But who else could she trust? Who else knew her as Arthur did, and who else would listen to the whole story before they passed judgement? She trusted the blonde implicetly, and thus she would have never kept such a thing. Which was why she had to tell him the whole truth, no matter the conequences. "I know I can trust you," she stated softly. "Above everyone else in this world, you hold my trust, Arthur." She took a shuddered breath as Arthur tried to pry the truth from her, and closed her eyes, forcing herself to look out of the window rather than at him, nable to see his expression, fearing how he might react. "I... it's nothing, Arthur," she eventually said, "I have made a foolish mistake and... i alone must bear the consequences."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur was revealed to hear that she trusted him, above all others. It wasn't that he doubted it, for he knew that if she did not trust him that she would not have come to him with this. Or well, told him. Since it was technically he who had come to her. He noticed the way her eyes avoided his gaze, and knew that now was not the time to lash out and call her names such as melodramatic. He needed to be a proper brother, and assure her that all would be well. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, in front of her, looking directly at her so that she would hopefully look at him. "Don't worry Morgana. Everything will be alright," he promised her. Somehow, everything would be alright. Though she did not tell him what she was speaking of, he was not going to push her. There was much to deal with, much to plan, and right now he wanted her to know that no matter what . . . he was here for her.

"I have made a foolish mistake and... i alone must bear the consequences." Arthur strongly disagreed with part of what she said. "That is where you are wrong Morgana," he said in a soft voice. "For you are not alone in this. The child may not have a father, but it will have a loving mother, and a loving uncle. And a grandfather who will eventually come around." Because he knew in the beginning, it would be difficult for Uther to accept. And besides, Arthur was still determined to find out who the father of the child was. He hadn't given up on that. He was just not going to make it the focus of conversation, as she had becomes distressed with the topic when it arouse. For now, he just wanted to make sure she didn't feel alone.

[mpend]

As the man she called brother tried to assure her that everything would be alright, the brunette managed a soft smile. "I thank you for your words," she stated quietly. "But I fear that nothing will be alright. The minute your father finds out I shall be lucky to see the light of day again," And though Arthur might yet again accuse her of being so, she knew it was not melodramatic to fear such a fate. She bit her lip, raising her eyes slowly, hesitantly to meet Arthur's. "Thank you for being here," she whispered. "Thankyou for not hating me."

Arthur then continued, telling her that the child would have a loving father, uncle and possibly grandfather. "Uther will never forgive me," she stated quietly, but surely. "We both know this," she paused, managing a weak smile. "But even if he does not, as long as I have your support, then... things will be alright," she knew she was being over optomistic, she knew she was echoing Arthur's earlier words and perhaps being far too hopeful, but it felt nice to pretend, if nothing else, that somehow this mess would be sorted.

Impulsively, the brunette reached forward, to hug her brother-of-heart. "I am so lucky to have you," she whispered honestly. "Thankyou, Arthur."