In Our Tears

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur could not describe the overpowering emotions that ran through his body. He felt numb, and yet on fire at the same time. Burning as every word he just heard replayed over and over in his head. It couldn't be. It was impossible. Yet, he knew . . . he knew it was true. As much as he hated to admit it. He knew that the words he heard were true. And that was what send him into such a raging fury right now. Had his father been in the kingdom, Arthur would have confronted him by now. And he could not promise that that confrontation wouldn't have ended in blood. Just like the last time almost had. But Merlin had stopped him . . . even while knowing the true. He had told him that Morgause had only concocted a lie. But it was true. His father had sworn to him, sworn that it was a lie. Sworn that he was not keeping anything from him. Yet, he was keeping everything from him. Arthur's thoughts were hardly coherent. Overhearing the words of the true nature of his birth . . . he didn't even know how he managed to walk away. But alas, he had somehow wound up in his chambers. The door slammed shut behind him.

His whole body was heaving with rage as he didn't know what to do. He needed Guinevère to come and calm him, for she was the only one who held the ability to do so. But, he didn't want her around him at the same time for he was not in the best frame of mind. He knew he would never hurt her . . . but he didn't want her to see him like this. Who else was there? Arthur's mind went to Merlin. No. He would kill him if the man was in his presence right now. Breathe . . . just . . . breathe Arthur tried to tell himself. But it was to no avail. Because his emotions were running too wild. He was too . . . angry. Too hurt to think of composure. There were not many times that he lost his temper, but when he did . . . it was difficult to get a handle on it again. He was so furious . . . and he had no outlet for this anger. Pacing in his room, he suddenly swept his hands over all the content of his desk, sending everything crashing and flying to the floor. He even managed to throw a few chairs across the room. He didn't think of how he shouldn't be throwing things about.

Better throw things that stab someone. Though, he could not promise his anger would be in check by the time his father returned from the peace talks. He would not make any promises when he was so irrational. He braced himself as he put his hands on his desk, as if his arms were the only things keeping him up. His heavy breathes caused his chest to heave, as his head hung between his shoulders. How could this be. HOW could this be the truth?! It couldn't. And yet . . . there was no way to deny it. He needed someone to come in and tell him it was not true. Or at least someone to come and wake him from this nightmare. Just as these thoughts entered his mind, he heard the door open. His back was to it and he made no attempt to turn around to see who it was. "Get out!" He demanded in an angry voice. It could be Guinevère, it could be Morgana, it could be a knight, it could be a servant . . . it could be Merlin. And out of risk for the latter, Arthur stood by his words. He wanted to see no one right now. He didn't wish for anyone else to see him in this state.

_{Setting: Arthur's chambers
Time of Day: Early Afternoon
Timeline: Sometime during Season 3
What If: Arthur found out the truth about his birth
Tag: Morgana}

[mpend]

Morgana stilled as Arthur demanded - nay, almost shouted at her to leave. It was clear he didn't know - and probably didn't care - who he was talking to, but for a moment she hesitated. She had been on her way to his rooms to ask if he wanted to join her for a ride, when one of the guards outside had informed her of how agitated the Prince seemed. The guard's worry had been enough to cause Morgana to worry herself, and thus she had come to see what the matter was.

But the sight of Arthur bracing himself above the table, looking for all the world like an angry, caged lion, made a shudder run through her body, and irrational thoughts sliced through her mind. Did he know somehow about her magic? Was he aware of her plotting with Morgause? What else could truly have caused such anger in such a normally reasonable man? Forcing her mind to go blank, Morgana put on a face of trained concern, and stepped forward. "Arthur, what is it?" she asked, for all the world sounding like a concerned sister. "What is wrong?"

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur still didn't turn when he heard someone approach him, moving closer to him. Still, he did not turn when he heard a voice ask him what it was. What was wrong. He just closed his eyes, trying to take deep breathes, for he did not wish to inadvertently hurt Morgana. He didn't want her to see him like this. For in all his rage, he was unpredictable. And while he knew he would never strike her, or use her as an outlet for his aggressions . . . he still did not want to lash out at her. Afraid that his words would be too harsh and angry, when she had done nothing wrong. When the only person to blame for this, was Uther. "You should not be here," he told her in a cold voice. He even hated speaking to her in such a tone, but . . . he could not keep his emotions under control. There were some things that set him over the edge and this, was one of them. A huge one of them.

The last time he had been this angry was . . . was when Morgause had shown him a false illusion of his mother. Which he now knew was real. And thinking of it, just continued to fuel his rage. "Leave," he added, unsure if she would. Quite honestly, he didn't even know if he wanted her to leave. He knew it was selfish of him, to wish for her company when he was afraid of throwing angry words at her . . . but, he just needed someone to help calm him. Because he would not be able to deal with this anger until Uther returned. In fact, he was already considering getting on a horse and storming to the kingdom he was at to confront him. Usually, it was Guinevère who Arthur would desire in such a moment. But because she was not here, and he could not seek her out . . . Morgana was the only other person that he would want to see at a time like this. And even in his irrational state, he knew how unfair that was of him.

[mpend]

Unbidden, an old concern for the Prince rose up inside Morgana, and she could not help herself as she moved to his side, placing a hand upon the blonde's arm. He would never harm her, of that she was certain, but she could not help but be worried for him, despite everything that had passed. "I came because I was worried for you," Stated the ward, firmly, her eyes upon the Prince, seeing the way he all but trembled where he stood. "I am not leaving, Arthur."

He could order her all he wanted, but she was not going, not until she knew what was wrong, why he was acting this way. Whether he knew of her magic or not, now that was irrelivant. For some reason she felt protective over the young Pendragon; after all, they had been through so much together, they were as brother and sister, without blood. He was one half of her, in all respects. Sometimes her better, sometimes her worse, half. "Please talk to me, Arthur," she questioned softly. "Something has you riled, and I am not leaving until you at least talk to me."

[Arthur Pendragon]

He almost jumped at his touch, unsure he would be able to accept such comfort. But never the less, he did not move. When she spoke of how she was not leaving . . . felt both relieved and troubled. Relieved because he didn't want her to go. Troubled because he didn't want to burden her with the truth. She was asking him so gently and determinedly as to what was bothering him so much. He could hardly control his actions; how would he be able to control his words? How could he guard them when he felt he was on the verge of collapse? He tightly closed his eyes, feeling the sting of tears and using what little strength he had to hold them back. He would not cry . . . he . . . knew he would eventually. But not right now. Right now, he needed to focus on breathing. He needed to strike thoughts of killing his father from his mind. Yet it was all he wanted in this moment: to confront the king. Last time he had, Uther had sworn to him that he was not keeping anything from him . . . now, Arthur realized it had just been another lie to ease his anger.

"I would kill him," he said, knowing that his words were random as they resulted from his thoughts, as oppose to the current conversation. He knew that to make such an admittance was treason; that to say this to anyone endangered their own lives! But Arthur could not stop the words that were uttered from his lips. "If the king were here . . . I would." Kill him. The king. Not his father. For a father did not lie to their son about such a thing. A father did not sacrifice a mother's life for a son. A father would not be such a hypocrite; to claim to love a product of magic yet condemn everyone else for possessing magic. How could Uther truly love him, if he hated everything and anything related to magic? Arthur was born of magic! "I can't . . . " Arthur shook his head, not even sure what he was saying he could not do. Was it a conflict of thoughts? He can't kill his father? He can't handle the truth? He can't . . . Arthur didn't know. His disjointed words were just a result from all the anger and hurt consuming his mind, body and soul.

[mpend]

She could almost feel the raw pain pulsing through the Prince. It scared and awed her, for in this state Morgana did not know what Arthur was capable of. He had never, in all the years she had known him, struck out at another person blindly, but now he looked to take out half the kingdom with such an action, and to show no regret, either. The brunette frowned, but did not remove her touch. She would find out the truth, even if if he killed her for knowing it.

As he spoke his desire of wanting to kill Uther, both relief and honest surprise filled the Ward. She had never, ever heard him speak such words before, so what would be means to invoke them now? Instead of letting the torrent of questions in her mind take over, Morgana spoke quietly, calmly, hoping her voice woudl soothe the blonde at the same time. "But he is not here," she stated softly. She bit her lip, "Arthur, what has happened?" a hand now went to his back, as though to support him. "You know you can tell me anything,"

The pure anger she could feel radiating from the Pendragon Prince was as awe-inspiring as it was terrifying. And to know that the anger was now directed at Uther... it made Morgana curious to know just what had happened to make Arthur say and do such things. Was this something to do with Gwen? Or Merlin? Did either of them know what Arthur was going through? No - if he had talked through this already with somone, she knew he would not have been in the state she had found him in. "You can trust me,"