Echoes Of Who We Once Were

[Guinevère]

Guinevère had rarely left her chambers since everything had happened, she had not yet faced her brother as he had ridden out with Arthur, but she knew that would be coming soon. Guinevère had not even heard that the knights had returned, for her chambers were not gifted with the sight of the court yard but the woods.

Amaren had discovered the bed was suitable for jumping higher and because it was larger then she was use to, by the time that she reached one part of the bed, Amaren had jumped to the other. His birthday was over looked because she had been on the run that day, but she was determined to pin him down and try a little event with just the two of them. 'Papa! Papa! she heard Amaren call out and Guinevère turned to look at the door. Arthur! He was back!

She could hear Amaren stop jumping but she could not turn her face from Arthur. He was back! But what news did he carry with him? 'What that?' She heard their son say and that was when she noticed he was still in his armor--something Amaren had not seen before. She turned and lifted Amaren from the bed to the floor, "Welcome Papa back from his trip." Amaren ran forward and stopped a foot away before he lifted his hands up and went 'Rawr!' And then running back toward the bed. It had not been what she meant.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur smiled when his presence had been discovered, as well as smiling at seeing his son's enthusiasm at his return. He knew that Amaren using such a term could easily expose them, and they would have to figure out what to do now that she was back in the city . . . but for the moment, he was just happy to be back. And see the two people that he cared most for in this world. When Amaren asked what 'that' was, Arthur looked down to see whee he was pointing. Perhaps he should have changed out of his armor first but he had been so eager to see them that he hadn't the time, nor patience to wait. "Its just something Papa wears to protect himself." That was the best way he could describe it, not wanting to go into details about things.

He smiled when Guinevère moved Amaren off the bed as the young boy came toward him . . . and couldn't help but chuckle at his son's greeting. Arthur quickly followed him, taking hold of him before he managed to jump back on the bed, scooping him up in his arms. He held him upside over for only a brief second before setting him upright, though still in his arms, close to his shoulder. "I missed you very much," he told him, aware that he may not yet understand just how much Arthur cared for him . . . for his actions had not shown a great deal of that. "Have you been being a good boy for your mama?" He asked, glancing at Guinevère before turning his attentions back to Amaren.

[Guinevère]

"Its just something Papa wears to protect himself." Arthur explained and Guinevère knew that soon he would come to see how knights dressed. While he knew the word knight, knowing and seeing how they dressed were different. Knights were armor, he knew, but what armor was and how it looked like he did not. Amaren's loud laughter from Arthur's movements drew her from her thoughts. "I missed you very much," Arthur told Amaren, and she knew it was something he once said to her.

Before everything happened between them. "Have you been being a good boy for your Mama?" Amaren laughed as if his question was funny, and Guinevère found her own lips lifting at the reaction. 'I want to play outside!' He begged while touching the armor, feeling it and sticking his fingers under the chest plate while trying to see what it was.

She's not taken him outside in effort to avoid Arthur's would be wife. "Perhaps after lunch." She said quietly, knowing Arthur could not join Amaren while others were around. The name Papa would give too much away. "How . . . . What happened?" She asked softly, hoping that he could give her good news.

[Arthur Pendragon]

When Amaren said that he wanted to play outside, Arthur smiled . . . wishing it was so easy. That he could just take him outside and they could play in the gardens. But there were so many things to consider, and he knew he not assure his son of everything until he and Guinevère discussed what to do . . . for she was going to have to stay in the city. At least until the village was rebuilt for right now, it was completely destroyed. Her next question distracted him from the previous subject, as she inquired as to what happened. "We managed to catch up to the men, and brought back the villagers to the city." So that she would know that her friends were here, and safe. He also did not wish to go into the gory details for even if their son didn't understand . . . he didn't want to introduce him to such subjects.

"If it weren't for you . . . we never would have gotten there in time." All the credit was due to her and her warning. For they would have found out far too late had they just waited for news to reach the city. But she had risked so much and done so much to get to them in time . . . and for that, the villagers owed her their lives. "We'll be ensuring they have temporary quarters until they can return home." Another subtle hint that she couldn't return back to Longstead for at least a little while . . . even though he wasn't sure of what her plans had been. She had made it clear that she had no plans to return to the city but now . . . she may not have another choice. Would she move to another village, to place distance between him and her? Or would she stay here, where it was safe?

[Guinevère]

They were safe! Most of them at least, but she knew that he had brought them here that mean the small village was not so luckily. Still, homes could be rebuilt, and items could be replaced with time. Lives could not. She still did not believe that she had done enough, she could have warned the people hours before hand, but she was not going to make a spectical before Arthur. She smiled softly, and moved to sit on the edge of bed, feeling over whelmed at the joy of knowing that it was over.

Amaren was starting to pat on the metal and knock on it while enjoying the sounds. He also tried pulling ti some to remove it. 'What's this?' He asked, even as Arthur had just explained things. It seemed it was fascinated by the odd clothing. It was reminder that even in the joy, they needed to speak and the time was now. The village might know she had no husband and not judge her for it, but the people here in the city assumed her husband was among them. "I fear he is a bit restless, for being in doors so much." She said softly, trying to think of how to begin the hardest conversation they would have as of yet.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur smiled as Amaren seemed fascinated by his armor, even knocking on it, then trying to remove it and once again questioning what it was. "Its very hard, so that it will protect me," he said once again, for he grew distracted by Guinevère's words. Arthur wished they could spend the rest of the day together, but knew that was not the reality of this situation. "Did you want to take him outside to see your friends from the village?" He offered, for they were still waiting for their rooms to be arranged and such. "Perhaps I can meet you later when he is taking a nap?"

Arthur's way of letting her know that he would not go with her . . . that she would not have to worry about Amaren using the term Papa while Arthur was there. They would need to talk about things while Amaren was asleep for that would be the best time to figure out an arrangement of how they were going to do this. Did she want the identity of his father to be revealed? If she didn't, Arthur knew he would have no choice but to respect that. He knew she would not keep Amaren from him . . . but would she even stay? So many questions, and yet with Amaren in his arms, now was not the time to ask them.

[Guinevère]

It wasn't anger that she felt toward him. It had been once but was no longer the fire in her heart. Now it was only broken, and sad. Arthur still was the only man she had ever loved, and would ever love as a woman should love a husband. Yet he had made promises and given her hope then with no warning said good bye.

Yet this did not mean she did not think of him, and how he would be a good father if he followed his heart and not done what was expected. She watched Amaren try to look under the plate, and spoke with out meeting Arthur's gaze. "Yes, that would be agreeable." So formal. Was this even her? "I do not know if I have answers to give you, I am not even sure of anything." But after lunch, they would figure it out.

Together.

[Arthur Pendragon]

She sounded so formal . . . and he wondered if this was how it would always be from now on. Is this how she wanted things to stay? Conversation filled with so much formality, and ones that were only focused on their son? He knew that if this was what she wanted, then she had to respect that. "I will not detain you any further then," he told her. He then walked over to her, passing her Amaren. "I'll see you in a bit Amaren," he assured him. Playing pointing his finger at him, he added "Be good," before tapping Amaren's nose with his finger. "Did you want me to come back here or, did you wish to meet elsewhere?" It was up to her whether she wanted to meet here to stay with Amaren while he slept, or if she would have someone else remain with him while they talked in another location. Either way, it was of her choosing.

It felt so strange to have to plan these things. When once, there would have been no need to be so formal and have to plan things so meticulously. They could have just been together. Their lives would have been very different . . . for they could have gotten married before she gave birth. They could be a proper family, instead of the torn one they were now. One where they didn't even know what to say to each other or how to be around one another. He prayed with all his heart that one day, they would regain what they lost -- emotionally -- but knew it would be some time. For he could not ask of anything right now, apart from the chance to be in his son's life. Which did not seem like it was an issue at all.

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[Guinevère]

Guinevère took Amaren from him, and stood up while Arthur made ready to leave. "I cannot leave him alone," She explained, "Here would be best if you are able to make time. I . . . I know you have guest and things that demand your attention. I will be here all afternoon if you need to be late." His almost wife might wish to lunch with him, and she could not keep him for personal reasons because of that.

Oddly she found herself wishing things were different. That their love had been enough to over come her status, and that many things had never happened. She waited until Arthur left, Amaren waving to him, before she took him down to see the others. With the busyness it would take a while before others noticed there was no husband, or someone asked . . .

She wondered how long she had before everything became exposed. After a small lunch with Mary and John, Guinevère took Amaren to go in and settle in for a nap. She still had no crib and used the pillows to for a small wall to keep him from falling. Sitting on the edge of the bed, with the door cracked she sang to him softly. Even when his eyes closed she still whispered the sung song, though more to comfort her for what was to come.