The Dark Knight

[Arthur Pendragon]

"So you will give up on us, without even fighting for the love we have?" He had to. Because his love for her could cost her her life. How could she be so dismissive of that? He knew the answer to the question well before it formed in his mind: because she was Guinevère. Because she was too gracious, too compassionate and kind; she encompassed all that was good and strong in this world. That was how she could do it. She spoke of knowing the real him. Of seeing his 'strength and courage', neither being traits he felt he had. For if he did . . . then things would not be as they were. And it was true. She was that for him, she was so many things for him and the fact that there was so much distance between them -- that he had set so much distance between them -- was killing him a little more every day. She told him that she would still wait for him; that she would still love him, even from afar. Even now? Even still? Even with the way he treated her?

"Do not wait for me," he told her in a slightly stern tone. "Do not put your life on hold for something that can never be." In all the ways he fought for them, he was now contradicting every word he'd said to her and everything he'd done to prove that they could one day be together. He wanted to tell her that he loved her too, and that she was everything to him. Especially now when everything else was so dark. Once again, she was right. He needed her. He needed her more than his next breath. He needed her if only it was to hold her and sit in silence. He needed her in so many ways . . . and yet could not have her because . . . it was not fair to her. "Then I can only hope that one day you love another, so that you will not be disappointed." Again, thoughts of her being with another caused strong emotions to surge through him, but he kept them contained. "I will get Elyan to come stay with you tonight," he added, not about to leave her alone should someone else come. And with that, forced himself to abruptly leave her home.

There could never be another time like this. There could not be another conversation with her like that. It had nearly caused him to beg her to come back into his life -- not that she had ever left. But it had made him realize how much he was hurting her by all this. He went to the forge, quickly telling Elyan of what happened and as the protective brother he was, didn't need Arthur to finish for he immediately went to their home. With Elyan there protecting Guinevère, Arthur returned to the castle . . . wishing he could spend the night with her. Just keeping her in his arms and telling her how much he loved her. But instead, he returned to the chair at his table and just sat there, thinking over everything. Everything that plagued his mind and everything that he hated himself for saying to her . . . as well as everything that she had told him that only made tears form in his eyes.

[Guinevère]

She watched him leave and her heart dropped slightly. He hoped she fell for another? Moving she opened the door to watch his fading shadow for as long as she could before she shut the door again. Something was not right, and she could feel it in her heart. Arthur might be willing to put distance between them but she was not going to make him face whatever he was facing alone.

Elyan did come, and her mind was distracted for a while. She knew there would be no more walking home alone, and no more nights that he did not stay here. Perhaps some good had come from this, if Elyan would not work so hard. The next morning she made sure to be at Gaius' before Merlin left for work--too early in the morning, and armed with flowers.

Arthur's breakfast tray came up with fruits, an extra bread roll that he liked, and flowers on the tray. Purple ones. His lunch tray that Merlin took him had Arthur's favorites as well, but this time the flowers were blue. Dinner would be a more formal one with his father, as most of them were int he castle, but even still she had a plan!

His plate that put before him had everything everyone had, but in Arthur's folded linen she put another flower. This one lavender. When he would use his napkin, he would find it. Each one was meant to be a reminder that she thinking of him. That her heart was with him.

She worked a few hours in the laundry, and with Merlin's help she made sure that Arthur's sheets and pillows were washed and stored for a few hours separately, so she could get them smelling like the lavender he would find with his supper tray. The next morning he would find more flowers with his tray, and even one with his armor in the armory. With Merlin's help she was making sure he knew she was thinking of him and close by. As the days went on, she found new places to leave flowers. After a few days she even started sending one flower color a day, and made sure she wore that color in her hair as well.

It took her a week before she could find Morgana in the market. It was Guinevère's day off and she needed Morgana's help. After her recent arrest, she did not trust Morgana, but nor could she do this with Merlin's help alone. Guinevère wore her pink gown, and white flowers in her hair. It was the color of the day she was sending to Arthur. In her arms were flowers of every color.

Guinevère waited until Morgana noticed her, and approached her. "My lady," Guinevère said, and began her conversation. The purpose being, to give Morgana flowers, in hopes that she would put them in her room, or somehow Arthur might see them. Guinevère casually suggested that Morgana could put the on the table for supper f she'd like. Perhaps Arthur would see them there.

After her conversation, she went toward the castle to see if she could steal a few moments of Merlin's time.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur hadn't slept that night and only realized it was morning when his breakfast tray came up. He looked down at it, not feeling very hungry but his attentions did not rest on the food before him. He looked at the flowers that were on the tray, knowing well enough who they were from. For only one person would think to send flowers to him: Guinevère. He picked one from the group of them and just looked at it . . . wishing she wasn't doing this to him, yet at the same time . . . like that she did. Knowing it was selfish and unfair of him to feel that happiness that at least someone out there showed their care for him. Not by lying to his face every day, or concealing secrets from him, or plotting his demise . . . but just by sending flowers. The thought touched him, though he could not give anything in return. He could not encourage her to keep doing this. He needed to do the exact opposite in fact: he needed to discourage her. He kept one of the purple flowers and put it in his safe so that no one else would see, before he dressed for the day and commenced his duties.

When lunch came, he noticed more flowers on his tray. Blue ones. Yet again, Guinevère. How was she even managing to do this? As before, he took one of the flowers, when Merlin wasn't looking, and kept it, joining it with the purple one from earlier today and tying them together with the ribbon she had once given him from her hair when he had gone off to face the dragon. Merlin seemed to be watching Arthur carefully for some sort of reaction, but Arthur kept his face guarded . . . for it was difficult to even find comfort in his friend Merlin when he knew the truth about him, and knew how much he had been keeping from him. Dinner came and Arthur knew there would be no flowers for he was dining with his father. Something else that was not entirely easy -- knowing how he had betrayed his mother with Vivienne and knowing that it was his desire for a son that had killed Ygraine. As Arthur opened the napkin however, something fell from it. Another flower. His head looked around the dining hall, wondering how the hell Guinevère had gotten it in there. His father asked if everything was alright and Arthur answered with a short response, saying he was fine. He kept that flower too, and later that night, added it to his growing collection.

Flowers dominated his life for the next few days. When he ate a meal: there was a flower. When he dressed in his armor: there was a flower. When he lay in his bed and sheets smelled like flowers. Which reminded him of her and oddly enough, it had been what helped him actually get a few hours of restful sleep that night. Because somehow, he felt she was near him and that gave him unimaginable comfort. Each time she sent flowers, he would keep one and put it with the others, creating a small bouquet of various colors. He kept it tucked away, hidden in his safe so that no one else would find it. And thus, no one would question it. He wanted to tell her to stop, yet couldn't bring himself to . . . because it was the only thing that gave him the slightest semblance of comfort each and every day. Or well, each moment he found another flower. And at night, would just keep the collection of them next to him . . . for that same comfort. One morning however changed his regular pattern of each day. He was walking toward the market place when he saw Guinevère and Morgana talking. He immediately made sure they could not see him, as he watched them carefully. What was Guinevère saying to her? Was she trying to get her job back? What if Morgana rehired her?

Concern filled him and he knew now that he could no longer avoid Guinevère. He had to confront her, because it was better than confronting Morgana. As he was trying not to bring attention to his and Guinevère's relationship to Morgana. When the conversation appeared to be over, Arthur waited behind a few moments before following Guinevère . . . inside the castle, apparently. She was walking through the halls and Arthur looked around to make sure no one else was near, before he took hold of her arm and quickly pulled her to one of the servant's hallways, the one toward his chambers. But instead of leading her there, he just stood in the secluded hall with her, for some reason not yet letting go of her arm. "Why were you talking to Morgana today?" He inquired, cutting right to the chase rather than building up the conversation. He just needed to know what she was saying to her, and hoped it was not related to them or pertaining to Guinevère potentially getting her job back. Arthur had made sure she lost her job to protect her and bringing her back meant she would be close to Morgana once more. The thought filled him with fear, hence his need to confront her as soon as possibly, and the moment the opportunity for them to talk came out. Like right now.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère walked toward the castle, and even into it without noticing that anyone was following her. She really needed to make sure to start looking behind her, for when someone grabbed her, she almost let out a scream. The only thing that kept her from it was the gasp that she let out instead. THEN she saw Arthur! Breathing out she felt herself relax and the moment of fear ease off. It was Arthur!!

"Why were you talking to Morgana today?" He demanded and she found it odd. Was he upset about the flowers and thought Morgana was in on it? "We were just passing each other and stopped to say a hullo." She told him, looking up at him and then she moved to hug him quickly, not giving him a chance to move out of her reach. "She is a friend, and I was catching up with her as I have not seen her in a while." She had not spoken of her dis-trust for Morgana with anyone. Pulling from the hug she looked back up at him. "I missed you."

[Arthur Pendragon]

She told him that they were just passing by each other and he wondered if she'd mentioned anything to her. Yet he also knew that she did not deserve his lack of trust. For she had never lied to him and he was well aware that he should not be taking out his mistrust for others out on her. He would have to believe what she told him . . . for when had she ever done or said anything less than honest? He was just thinking these things when he suddenly felt her arms wrap around him. He moved his arms out, as if unsure what to do. The feeling of her around him was . . . indescribable. Having her so close to him, feeling her arms around him, her scent, her . . . everything. Was a stronger comfort than the flowers. This had been what he was craving and needing for so long. Yet his arms did not follow hers.

They hovered near her, as if unsure whether to hold her in return, or pull her away. He could do neither. He just stood there, basking in the enjoyment of having her near. So much so that it took a little while longer for her words to register in his mind. She pulled away from the hug, which made him want to pull her toward him again . . . yet had to remain rational so could not. Her three words . . . she had no idea how much he missed her. He opened his mouth, not even certain as to which words would come out as he just kept looking at her. In the end, no words came out. Instead, he took hold of her arm again, this time less abruptly, and led her down the hall toward his chambers. Because he did not want to have this conversation where someone may overhear. Especially Morgana, as she seemed to be skulking around the castle, spying on those she was plotting against.

He opened the door to the servant's entrance to his chambers, waiting for her to enter before he followed and closed the door behind him after glancing around to make sure they were not followed. "You need to stop this Guinevère," he told her. Is that what he wanted? No. He didn't want her to but she had to. For her own sake. "The flowers . . . and this . . ." The hug she had given him, the words that touched his heart and soul. "It needs to stop." Because she was making this so hard. Because it only reminded him of how horrible he was being to her and how strong she was remaining. She didn't deserve this; she deserved far better than what he was offering, which was nothing.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère felt him take her arm, and lead her down the halls to his chambers. It was a place that she had not been is so long. Turning she locked the door so they could be alone. He had two other doors to his chambers and she would lock them as well. He was asking her to stop, but she knew she could not--would not.

"I wont." She told him and walked over to lock one door then the other, before walking back to him. "Because I love you, and I would rather help you. If you will not let me do it by your side, then I will do it this way. Helping you see that there is still light in your life. Reminding you that I love you. More then anything. More then anyone! Arthur it's you. It will always be you for me. I will not help you forget that, but remind you."

"I asked Morgana to put the flowers I gave her on the table for supper tonight. I asked Merlin to hide in places. If you stop them from helping me, I will find another way. I will not stop fighting for you Arthur." Moving forward she stretched to her toes and kissed him softly, before falling back to her heels. "Ever."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur watched her as she locked the doors and told him flat out that she would not stop. He knew she was stubborn -- one of the many things he truly loved about her. But in this case . . . it worried him. Made him worry that he could potentially lose her. Losing her by not being with her was one thing . . . but losing her physically was a whole other matter. It was a loss he would never recover from. And it was the only thing that could completely break him more than he already was now. Her words however, filled him with honor that she wanted to fight for him . . .that she loved him enough to ignore his protests because she knew; she knew that he loved her still. She wanted to be there for him, supportive, where as all others had failed in that respect right now . . . because his trust for them was so tarnished. He still believed that he should not burden her, but how could he push her away? When he didn't want to. And when she was doing things like this that filled him with comfort . . . where nothing else succeeded. He could only stare at her, trying to find the right words to say to stop her from doing all this.

Especially since Morgana now knew that they still had feelings for each other. Which only further placed Guinevère's life in danger. He kissed him lightly and he froze. Because he had not felt that softness in so long, nor that touch of love and life fill his body. Without thinking he leaned forward and kissed her with such a strong urgency as his hands went to her cheeks. He shouldn't be doing this. He should be pushing her away. Yet instead, he kissed her, deeply and passionately until he slightly pulled away, his next words breathless from the impact of the kiss. "You keep fighting for me . . . and I keep failing you Guinevère." He wasn't doing this for her to tell him that he protected her, and to show he didn't want to hear it, he silenced her with his lips, feeling the first sense of physical comfort and warmth he'd felt in weeks. Once again he ended the kiss, resting his forehead against hers. "Please just leave me," he begged, though knew now that his actions reflected a different desire: the desire to keep her near. Everything he said to her was now contradicted by his actions . . . and he knew it was not the smart thing to do, nor the right thing. But it was his heart had told him to do.

[Guinevère]

Surprisingly Arthur's lips claimed her's and the kiss went from the light one she gave him to the more passionate one that spoke of his need for her comfort. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she returned the kiss, pressing up on her toes once again to be closer to him. When the kiss broken she gasped in air. "You keep fighting for me . . . and I keep failing you Guinevère." No! He did not fail her!

"Please just leave me," He could beg, and ignore her but she would not leave him to be alone. "I have never met a man I had more faith and trust in Arthur. How you think that you failed anyone, I will never know, for I have watched you give sweat and blood for just the idea of helping someone. You would give up everything to help them, and still think you have not done enough."

"I will not abandon you. You can lock me out, but I will find ways to you. I will not let you do this--whatever is happening--alone. Please! Let me help you. Let someone help you." She placed a few light kisses over his cheek, and eyes. "I love you."

[Arthur Pendragon]

How wrong she was. She thought far too highly of him. He had failed her in so many ways. He had failed Morgana for surely he had done something wrong if she felt so angry toward him. Every person who didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth . . . he had failed. And here she was, telling him that she still had so much faith and trust in him. Would she still feel this way after everything? He had vowed to himself that he would not burden her with his troubles . . . but she made it so difficult to keep things from. Because she was so caring, and so willing to listen . . . unlike anyone else he had ever met. And she was making it clear that she was not going to give up on him . . . when he had already given up on himself. He knew that if there was anyone who could possibly help him through this, it was her. He closed his eyes, feeling her lips over his cheek, as he slightly turned his head toward her ear.

"I don't deserve you Guinevère." He had pushed her away, made her lose her job, said horrible things to her . . . and she was still here, ready to support him because she knew that deep down, that was what he wanted and needed. Even if his actions and what he displayed on the surface showed otherwise. "I can't . . . bare the thought of losing you," he said once again, feeling so torn between letting her fully into his life and telling her what was in his heart . . . and keeping her at a distance which would ensure her safety. Was one more right than the other? He didn't know anymore. He only knew that it was impossible to walk away from her . . . and that he felt honored and like the luckiest man, to have her affections in this way. Selfish it may be, but it was getting more and more difficult to deny what his heart wanted. Her. He turned his head to the side, letting his lips linger on the side of her head, before moving forward and more forward, before they found her lips again. Somewhere in the kiss, he whispered under his breath "I love you" Because he no longer had the strength to deny it.

[Guinevère]

For a moment she feared he would push her away again, yet instead of telling her could not let her do this, he spoke of not bearing the thought of losing her. The kiss that followed was strong, and Guinevère wasn't sure he had ever kissed her like this before. "I love you." The words filled her with renewed hope in them, for surely if he would admit to this, then they could find a way to be together.

Her fingers moved up into his hair and rested there, letting the kiss linger and deepen. She was so glad and grateful to be in his arms again! It made her even more glad she had locked to the doors so they would be alone. She had thought they would talk and it would take longer to get him to accept her not leaving his life. Now with his kisses she knew that he surely must be! "I wont leave you," She reminded him between kisses, so he could not misunderstand how she was taking his kiss.

[Arthur Pendragon]

"I wont leave you." He didn't want her to. He wanted her to stay with him. Part of him just wanted to runaway with her. To leave Camelot and all the darkness that had filled the castle upon discovering the truth. He just wanted to get away from it . . . but he knew that fleeing was never an option. Especially with Morgana trying to get the throne, for he feared what that would mean for the people. "You should," he whispered, telling her that she should leave him, but with his words, his arms wrapped tighter around her. Once again, his actions contradicting his words. "You should leave me," he continued, kissing her cheek. "You should keep distance from me, for it would mean you are far safer than with me." But clearly, what he was doing now was not reflecting that.

He was kissing her, his lips finding hers as he deepened the embrace once again, finding that this -- she -- was what he needed most right now. Without even realizing it, his feet were moving forward, causing her to step back . . . inching toward the bed. His mind was not coherently thinking about where he was taking her, or the implications behind this unplanned direction. He was just feeling; just losing himself in all the emotions she caused to stir in him. Stronger than ever before, perhaps due to the long time it had been since they had last shared this sort of intimate moment . . . perhaps due to everything else that had happened. Or maybe, it was just a mixture of all things. He didn't know, nor did he care enough to stop and act. He just kept kissing her, and moving forward.

[Guinevère]

He was still demanding that she leave him, but Guinevère knew that she could not. Ever. How could she? Arthur was the most loyal and strongest man she had ever known, and if he was hurting she wanted to help him. Guinevère did not even seem to notice their feet was moving, for she was too lost in the kiss he was giving her.

"I wont." She repeated, as her hands moved to tighten around her, as if to keep him closer to her. When she felt something touch the back of her thighs--that was the moment she realized they had moved to the bed. Yet it was not the first time they had been lying down together. When Morgause had lied to him about his mother, she had held Arthur while he recovered from his fight with his father, then again at the picnic they had reclined back on the pillows and talked for hours. Even kissed a while.

She wanted to hold him close to her now, and help he feel safe enough around her to allow her to ease his burdens. So without a second though, she slid backwards to sit on the bed, and tried not to let the shifting break the kiss, not yet at least.

[Arthur Pendragon]

When she moved to sit on the bed, Arthur put each of his hands on either side of her, with her body now between his arms. He moved forward a bit, and then a bit more, causing her to move back as he continued forward. He didn't know what he was doing. He was thinking about anything right now. What he did know was that this was the first shred of joy he'd found in a long time, and for that reason, everything felt so much stronger. That he didn't want it to stop. He didn't want it to end. And for that reason . . . he wasn't sure how far he was going. When she was fully on the bed, Arthur moved so that he was lying over her though making her not to crush her under his weight.

His lips went from hers to her neck, nudging away her hair that was in the way until his lips found her soft skin and began to kiss her along neck. She felt so incredible. The taste of her skin, her wonderful scent . . . she was so utterly desirable. One hand went to her side, trailing up and down to feel the curves of her body. Her petite frame made it so easy to move her, though right now, he had her in the perfect position. He wasn't sure of what this was leading to . . . only that if it was to end, she would need to tell him to stop. Because without thinking, his hand took hold a fistful of the fabric of her dress, and began to slowly hike it up.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère felt him move them back and she didn't mind. She was enjoying the kiss and they could hold each other. Arthur's lips moved from her's to her cheek and neck, and his hand moved down her body. It was in these moments that her mind seemed to connect what was happening between them. This was not him wanting to be held in silence or with her talking softly. His hand started to lift her dress and her belly tightened at the idea of his hands on her.

Her breathing was coming deeper and slowly becoming quicker as she became all too aware of how things could end up. She had never been with a man before and had thought for a long while now that it would be Arthur. Only ever Arthur. Yet these thoughts had been after they were married. Guinevère felt nervous, but excited as well. She used her tongue to wet her lips and her hands held to his shoulders.

She didn't want to stop him. She wanted to be with him. She only wasn't sure what to do.

[Arthur Pendragon]

-- Scene edited it out due to MATURE CONTENT. Please contact myself or Guinevère for NC-17 version --