What We Hold Most Dear (Celyn)

[Caitrin de Archer]

There was a gentle breeze in the air, and Caitrin Aubert found herself just smiling. There was nothing she could say she wasn’t happy about with her life at the moment, everything felt as if it was going her way. She had gotten through her labour, and now she had two healthy, and happy children. She and Griff already loved them both more than words could say. Caitrin was just sat in the gardens, as it was a beautiful day and she didn’t want to waste it. In her arms was Arthur, who was making occasional grunting noises at her, and shifting his weight every now and again. He, and Esmae, were only a week old, they’d come back to the estate as soon as Caitrin was strong enough to sit in the carriage back home. She had just wanted to be in her own surroundings again, and now she was waiting for her friend, Celyn to join her.

Caitrin hadn’t seen Celyn a lot while she was pregnant, but then again she hadn’t seen many people, especially in her later months of carrying her children. That was mainly for selfish reasons, as she had been constantly tired, and had found herself dodging in-between bed and her duties as Lady of the house most of the time. Everything else hadn’t even entered her mind. She felt guilty she hadn’t seen Celyn a bit more during that time, he was her best friend, he was the one that she knew would never leave her. Of course she knew Griff would never leave her either, but with Celyn it was different. He wasn’t bound to her in the same way, and yet he always came back to her; always. She had kept in contact, mainly by writing, in the last weeks of her pregnancy, and now she was home at the estate, she had finally invited him to come and meet her children.

Griff wasn’t here, and the more Caitrin thought about it, the more she realised that was probably a good thing. They were his children as well, but Caitrin knew that it wasn’t on Griff’s behalf that Celyn was making the journey to their home. In truth she couldn’t wait to see him again and introduce him to her children. She had already decided they would call him ‘Uncle Celyn’ whether he agreed or not. Arthur was starting to nuzzle into her shoulder, and made a sharp cry, so she shifted him into a cradling position, so she could see what was wrong with him. Every time she thought the twins were about to cry she panicked, it was like an impulse. Arthur had stopped his sharp cries though, and was just nuzzling into her dress and staring up at her. She felt herself relax and just tightened her grip on her son. Esmae was sleeping in a basket of blankets a few feet away, and one glance told her mother that she was still sleeping. Eventually, a maid rushed to Caitrin’s side and greeted the woman with a wide smile, “Prince Celyn is here my Lady, shall I show him through?” Caitrin nodded,

“Let him come through at his leisure.” Celyn knew the estate well enough to not have to be guided by servants. Straightening up, Caitrin stood up, trying not to disturb Arthur who was just lying quietly in her arms. She already had quite a wide smile on her face, so she just waited for Celyn to find his feet and join her. Her best friend was about to meet her first born children, and Caitrin couldn’t have been happier.

Tagged: Celyn ap Llewellyn
Timeline: A week after Room for an Aubert or Two
Location: The de Archer estate
Time of day: Mid-morning[/color]

[Celyn ap Llewellyn]

Celyn was becoming increasingly selfish when it came to Caitrin de Archer, or rather, Caitrin Aubert as she was now. She was happy, and he was happy for her, but...well, he wasn't happy himself. He was fully aware of how selfish he was being because she deserved this happiness, but he couldn't help but think she deserved so much more. She may have forgiven Griff, but he certainly hadn't, and he would remain of the opinion that the man wasn't good enough for her until the day he died. Of course, Celyn wasn't saying that he was good enough for her, far from it, no, he'd never been good enough for her, that was the problem. He was always Celyn the friend, always would be, and he used to think - in that wonderful naivety of his - that would be enough. Oh how wrong he had been. There was only one thing worse than being Celyn the friend, and that would be not being there at all. He'd thought about, on more than one occassion, simply leaving and trying to move on with his life, try to find some form of happiness without her, but he could never bring himself to do it.

He sighed. He needed to stop being so bloody miserable. Caitrin had invited him here to see her children, this was not a time for self-pity, or rather it was a great time for self-pity but not in front of her. He'd never told her how he felt, there'd never seemed to be an appropriate time and then Griff had just appeared and been everything Celyn couldn't be, so yet again there'd never been an appropriate time. Caitrin had been happy with Griff, and even after she'd been abandoned she'd still loved him. If Celyn had ever told her how he felt about her, well, it would just ruin everything. He'd long since decided it was better she remained ignorant. It was better for both of them.

"Lady Caitrin says you may go up and see her, my lord."

Celyn, pulled out his thoughts by the maid's reapparance smiled at her, "Thank you." He replied before he began making his way upstairs. He knew the house well enough by now - there was a time when the majority of his time was spent here or out in the gardens. There was a small smile forming on his lips at the memories when it just him and Caitrin, enjoying themselves and laughing at the stuck-up nobles and not caring what anyone thought. Right, he needed to stop thinking like this. It wasn't going to do anyone any good. This was supposed to be happy occassion. He ran a hand through his hair and smoothed down his shirt, making sure he looked presentable before knocking on the door. "Cait?" Without waiting for a reply he opened the door, a smile automatically appearing as her saw her. He hadn't realised just how much he'd missed her. For a moment or two he didn't notice the children - not even the one in her arms - he just saw her, beautiful, wonderful Caitrin, grinning like a madwoman. Jesu, it felt good to see her again.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin was still finding everything about motherhood so new and difficult to grasp. She had Griff to help her out of course, but he wasn’t the one who had to get up with the twins at all hours of the morning when they needed a feed. No, he was the one who got to stay in bed, though Caitrin often made a point of keeping him awake as long as she had to as well. After all, they were his children too, they should both suffer and share these long nights. Naturally he didn’t agree. Arthur was just nuzzling into her dress, and staring up at her. The twins just seemed to spend most of their days dozing in-between feeds. That would have been more bearable if they both decided they wanted feeding, and changing, and everything else at the same time. However, they seemed to alternate, and had decided upon that pattern since birth. She was tired, yes, but it felt worth it in a way. She loved seeing her children content and happy, and she knew she would do anything to show that they were loved, and cared for. She didn’t want them growing up like she had, thinking that no one cared, and that they had to face everything by themselves. Caitrin loved Arthur and Esmae with all her heart, and nothing would ever change that. They were her blood, and she was bound to protect them.

Her mood was instantly lifted though as Celyn knocked on the door and poked his head through. She just beamed at him instantaneously; he had that effect. “Celyn, I’m so glad you could make it.” And she was, she was so grateful that he had made the effort to see her children, and to enjoy this moment with her. She felt like a giddy child in some respects, and was more than ready to show her children off to him. With great ease, she strode towards Celyn, shifted Arthur so she could hold him in one arm, and greeted Celyn with a one armed hug; Arthur sandwiched in-between them both. The baby was just staring up at the new arrival as Caitrin broke apart from him. She honestly couldn’t keep a smile from her lips. There was another reason, other than showing off her children, that had led Caitrin to invite Celyn here today, but that was for later. She had thought through that little fact long and hard though, and she was going to ask Celyn because she knew he would never, ever let her down.

She looked down at the baby in her arms, and then back to Celyn, she doubted that he could have failed to miss Arthur, or Esmae really. Caitrin ran a few fingers over Arthur’s small red hairs, “Would you like to meet them both?” She asked, pride beaming through her words. Caitrin Aubert didn’t have a lot in her life that she could say she was proud of and show off to the outside world. But these were her children, and they would always make her proud, and she would always love him. They were quickly becoming her world, along with her husband. It was her family, and it always would be. They would only expand and grow. “Though I am afraid only one is awake for the time being.” Esmae had a habit of waking up at the most irritating of moments, but she didn’t care at the moment, the only thing she cared about was Celyn, and how he would react with the twins.

[Celyn ap Llewellyn]

Caitrin was glowing - motherhood clearly suited her. He knew she would be a wonderful mother, she certainly looked the part. She looked beautiful, but then she always did. She had one of those rare things - equality in her inner and outer beauty. He just looked at her for a few moments, not realising just how much he had missed her, missed seeing her, until she was in front of him. Rather impressively, he hadn't noticed the small child she was holding until said child was in between the pair. No, his entire focus had been one her, but now he noticed the baby and gave this new person his attention. The child...was it a boy or a girl? He couldn't tell, but he could tell that they looked like their mother. And...and their father, but he'd been trying to ignore that, or rather not ignore but just accept. Griff was Caitrin's family, and had been for some time. Celyn was just her friend. The sooner he could just accept this, the easiest it would be. It was just hard to give up hope.

He made a "hmm" sound in response to her question, pressing his lips together as if giving the question some serious thought. "Do I want to meet your children? Oh I suppose. It's only polite." His faux seriousness was betrayed by a smile. He often found himself smiling in her presence, it was just an effect she had on him. It wasn't the only effect she had on him, and now he was with her again, his feelings were only becoming stronger. Despite how hard he tried, he couldn't help it, and he was fully aware of how inappropriate such feelings were - especially at a time like this - but there was no denying the fact that he loved her. He always would. But she wasn't going to know, and she wanted to show him her children, so he tried to ignore the heartache she always caused and kept smiling because she was happy and he was with her, no matter what the circumstances were, so he was happy too.

[Caitrin de Archer]

As Caitrin looked up at Celyn, she realised just how much she had missed him since he had last called upon her. Of course she hadn’t seen him in some time, as she had not ventured out of the manor much in the latter months of her pregnancy, and then she had been confined to her chambers in the castle. She had missed him though, there had been man to call upon her to see the twins, but none of them were as close to her as Celyn was. She just smiled up at him, “I have missed you Celyn.” She said softly, feeling as if it needed to be said. Celyn was a dear friend to her, but she always knew in the back of her head that he would one day be leaving to return to Suagales, to be king there. She would be happy for him of course, as it was what he was meant to do, but it would not make her any less sad for losing such a dear friend of hers.

In her arms, Arthur began to squirm about, throwing his arms about and making a few whimpering noises at her. Caitrin just smiled at him, and rocked him a little in her arms to soothe him. Arthur’s attentions had now been taken by Celyn, and the baby was just staring up at him. Caitrin pulled a face at Celyn’s words, knowing him only to be jesting. “Well, if I must.” She smirked a little and then inclined her head towards her son, “This is Arthur, he was the second born. Griff wanted to name him after himself of course.” She couldn’t keep the smile from her face, so then she stepped back towards the crib and looked down into it, gesturing for Celyn to do the same, “And this is Esmae, our first born.” Now the introductions were completed, she just beamed up at her friend, wondering what his opinion of the pair would be. She was sure that he would volunteer it, and if he did not then she would press him for the opinion. Caitrin was still rocking Arthur, and took the hand out of his mouth that he was sucking gently on; though he was still staring up at Celyn. “Would you like to hold him?” She asked her friend enthusiastically, “He seems to like you.”