Shadows of Doubt [Merlin and Arthur]

[merlinus]

Setting: The training grounds of Camelot
Time of day: Mid-morning
Timeline: A week after the events of Lamia
Tag: Arthur Pendragon, Merlin

----------------------------------



The young warlock moved to the training grounds, somewhat warily. Since the discovery of the Lamia, and the girl's eventual escape, he'd been almost avoiding the Knights, and Arthur. The words that had been spoken whilst they had been under the Lamia's spell had not been of their own choosing, but they had hurt... far more than Merlin would ever admit. He knew that he was more than they had said; he had saved Arthur's life so many times, saved their lives, but... there was a little, tiny niggling doubt.

Did they really see him as being so lowly? It was this doubt that had kept him away from them; and luckily, Gaius had unknowingly been a part of that - getting Merlin to fetch various things, keeping him busy and away from the Knights and their King. But now, it was unavoidable. He had been called - called - to the training grounds.... and though part of him knew that it was probably just to watch, to observe, he was nervous. Perhaps Arthur intended to use him as a training aid once more. After all, according to the Knights, he was barely useful for much else.

But then, what did they know? They had no idea how much he had done for Camelot - for them. How many times he had saved Arthur, had protected the King, sometimes at great risk to himself. Not that he wouldn't do the same a thousand times, but sometimes, it made the young warlock almost burn with frustration; wanting desperately not for glory, but at least to be recognised as something other than a useless manservant. Though Arthur teased him, bullied him - on occasion - they had a great friendship, one the young warlock was vastly proud of - but the Knights.... he wasn't quite sure what to make of this recent development.

Stepping onto the training grounds, Merlin swallowed as he stepped forward, padding silently over, half hoping that they wouldn't notice him, and half hoping to be accepted back into the bond he had once been a part of. Although he was not a knight, they had always treated him with respect, friendship, as though he were a younger brother, and to be without it made his place in Camelot just that little lonelier. The warlock shook the thoughts away as he stepped into the grounds, glancing around, unsure what he was wanted for, or what to do.

He refused to back down though. He had been told a thousand times by various people that his place was by Arthur's side, and by Arthur's side he would remain; no matter what. They were sword and shield; heart and mind, and not even the Knights of Camelot would stop Albion from reuniting. Pushing the sense of doubt as far back into his mind as he could, Merlin walked with a slightly renewed sense of energy, glancing around, looking for his King.

[/color]

[Arthur Pendragon]

Everything was finally feeling normal again. They had just recently returned to Camelot, having traveled from Longstead. It was imperative to wait until the knights gained their strength, but they also needed to ensure that they and all the villagers had been properly healed. And thankfully, everyone had made a fully recovery. Unfortunately upon their return, there was a great deal of matters that needed to be addressed. And such was always the case during the king's absence. But what mattered was that everyone was home, safe and sound. That the creature had not managed to kill anyone. That was what mattered. And something that Arthur was massively relieved about. Had he lost any one of those in danger . . . well, it would not be a loss easily dealt with.

Today however, was something that he'd not done yet since their return: a training session. After meeting with the council for a brief time, he made his way onto the field, clad in his chainmail and other training attire. He was to meet Merlin here shortly and in the meantime, Arthur adjusted his gloves, though he was not waiting longer before he saw a familiar figure in the distance drawing closer. "Merlin," he greeted when the man was in ear shot. "No need to drag your feet. I would have thought you'd missed these training sessions," he teased, well aware of what Arthur sometimes put him through during them. As much as Arthur teased, mocked and bullied Merlin, it was no longer because he could. It was because Arthur treated him as the brother he never had. And Merlin always displayed such patience with it.

Even returned the favor at times, which was always refreshing for Arthur. It was what had intrigued him about Merlin in the first place. He looked at his servant, a smile playing on his lips. "For once you've arrived before everyone else. We'll set up before they come." And by 'we', he really meant Merlin would set up before the rest of the knights joined them. Arthur tended to have sessions with just the knights of non noble blood, and trained the other knights at a different time. It had been this way ever since the knights had become part of this brotherhood. And while Merlin mostly arrived on time, Arthur could not resist the mockery. Besides, he was just getting started.

[merlinus]

Merlin's shoulders sagged a little in relief at the playful tone in the King's voice, grateful his friend and master seemed to be in a good mood. He wasn't sure exactly what the King had in store for the training session - neither was he sure how the Knights would react to him being there, considering they had seemed to think him unworthy before, but his place was by Arthur's side, and at Arthur's side he would remain - even if the King himself dismissed him.

"Missed?" he quipped, trying to bring some sense of happiness into his voice. It was a little harder than he expected, due to the nerves he felt, but Merlin hoped he would at least manage to fool Arthur. "Missed cleaning your shoes afterwards, you mean!" He gave the King a shaky but cheeky grin - a shadow of his former smile, but still enough to be truthful, smiling a little at the familiarity this provided. Everything would be alright. Arthur was his friend above everything else... even if the Knights had turned against the warlock for no reason, the King certainly wouldn't. Least, Merlin was fairly certain he wouldn't. Shooting his friend a smile, the servant nodded "Right then, to setting up...." he paused, with a grin, remembering Arthur's words. "You mean, you'll be helping me?" he teased again, grinning at the King.

[Arthur Pendragon]

"Oh don't worry," Arthur said with a slightly taunting tone. "You'll have plenty to clean after this," he said with an equally cheeky smile to mimic Merlin's. When Merlin asked him if he was going to help him . . . well, Arthur smiled remained in place. "Of course I'll help," he said far too enthusiastically and willingly that it came off as pure sarcasm, which is was. So with that, Arthur pushed over the wooden sword holder, knocking it and all its contents to the ground. "There. Those weapons needed to be rearranged," he said, staring at the scattered weapons, which created more of a mess and thus, a hindrance rather than a helpful action. Further more, he tossed some aside, as if looking for a specific sword, when he already had his training weapon in his sword belt.

"These really need to be polished Merlin. No matter though. You can do it along with my armor and boots after wards." Another teasing remark, yet with truth. Standing from his crouched position, after having thrown a few weapons about, he stood on his feet and watched Merlin. "See. I can be helpful," he told him, obviously knowing he was being anything but helpful to the manservant. But what would their relationship be if not teasing and filled with playful jest. Though the fun was probably more for Arthur right now than for Merlin.

[[ Don't worry!! Arthur will soon catch on that somethings bothering Merlin We all know how oblivious Arthur can be at times! ]]

[merlinus]

Merlin rolled his eyes; in absolutely no mood for the King's teasing ways as the man promised him more to do. He silently knelt to pick up the scattered weapons, not even attempting to remark on what the King had done, feeling his heart drop into his shoes. PErhaps the knights had talked to Arthur after all. It wasn't like the man to be so... deomonstrative... in his refusal to help Merlin. Arthur could be a bully, but those times had become rarer and rarer in the last few years. Something must have changed to make him become so; and Merlin feared it was the Knights. For who held more weight with the King than the man's own, selected and trusted Knights? Compared to them, Merlin was nothing. No one.

The servant kept his head bowed as he reached about, collecting the weaponry, eventually standing up, weaponry in hand, and picking up the sword holder, before placing the weaponry as it had been once before. "All sorted, sire," he said, with none of his usual sarcasm or jest when it came to the King.

{{It looks like Arthur is having too much fun at the moment; wonder how he'll feel when he realises what's going on??}}

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur waited for a witty or sarcastic retort from Merlin. Perhaps even an action to encourage the tease. But instead, Arthur saw something far more rare: silence. Merlin said nothing as he wordlessly bent down to pick up the weapons that Arthur had so carelessly thrown about. It was his first indication that something was wrong. So Arthur just watched him, waiting to see if he was over analyzing Merlin's mood, continuing to wait for something from him. But nothing. He just remained . . . obedient. Which, Merlin was -- to some extent -- but he also showed more defiance at times. It was after all what had intrigued Arthur about him. And as the years went on, it became more of the brotherly thing to do between them, rather that a sign of class distinction. "Alright, what's the matter with you?" Arthur asked casually, though he was indeed concerned. Merlin wasn't usually like this, so whatever happened, must have been rather significant.

"Is this about what I said in Longstead, about being saved by a girl?" He had made fun of Merlin for being saved by a girl -- Guinevère -- and wonder if Merlin was feeling, emasculated from his comments. "If it makes you feel any better, Guinevère has saved my life too. More than once in fact. Its really nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by." Perhaps by relating to it, Merlin wouldn't take his teasing comments so seriously. Besides, it was true. She had saved him from those gargoyle creatures that had been attacking the kingdom, and then broken the spell with love's true kiss, and well, emotionally, she had saved him far many more times than he could count. Arthur wasn't even sure if it was the reason Merlin seemed less chipper than usual, but unless his friend gave him reason for why he felt this way, Arthur could only guess, and this was all his mind could currently come up with.

[merlinus]

The blunt question from the King had Merlin stiffening in shock for a moment; then cursing himself for Arthur being able to notice. Apparently his friend was a bit more observant than the warlock had given him credit for. He was about to respond when the clot mentioned his words in Longstead, causing Merlin to snort a bit. He rolled his eyes - perhaps Arthur really wasn't as observant as the warlock was giving him credit for. Unless Arthur was testing him. For what, the boy wasn't entirely sure, but there was a chance that was the case.

"I said what I meant, it felt better than being dead." He said back, though his voice held no teasing note as it once would have. He spoke flatly, though he was attempting to normalise things between them, it seemed he was unable. Standing back up, the warlock sighed, glancing at the rack he'd just sorted out. "Is that it, sire?"

[Arthur Pendragon]

There was a certain . . . joviality, lacking in Merlin's words. While Arthur could be quite oblivious at times, Merlin's mood wasn't all too difficult to read . . . sometimes. Other times he was down right impossible. He liked to think that he knew his friend well enough to be able to tell when something was wrong, and right now, something was definitely wrong. "You sure about that?" Arthur asked jokingly when Merlin spoke of how it was better than being dead. He meant it in more of a sense that Merlin was looking . . . well, less than happy. "Come on now, don't make me beat it out of you," he threatened, though obviously he would never do such a thing. Merlin was far too delicate. One small punch on the arm and the man could bruise like a peach.

"Seriously," Arthur said, his voice becoming less teasing and more sincere. "What's bothering you, Merlin? I know theres something. Tell me." Prior to befriending Merlin and falling in love with Guinevère, Arthur had not been used to speaking about his troubles, to express what plagued his heart at times and what emotions burdened him. But since gaining Merlin as a friend . . . and then being with Guinevère . . . amidst the many things that they had both taught him, it was that it was alright to talk about his troubles. That he never had to bear the burden alone. Arthur wanted to do the same for them, now specifically Merlin. He wanted to be here to help lift whatever weight was on his shoulders. It may not be the same as his own, but as a friend, he wanted to help. For it's what friends do . . . it's what brothers do.

[merlinus]

Merlin frowned. The King seemed... almost eager to help him. But why? He was just a servant, wasn't he? At least to Arthur. The warlock shook his head, a little put off by his friend's obvious concern. Alright, so the King wasn't a total idiot all of the time, but it was very rare that he showed concern quite so much as he was now. After a moment, Merlin spoke. "Why do you put up with me sire? It's quite clear you find me a hindrance, so why?"

[]