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Post by Guinevère on Jul 15, 2013 16:41:38 GMT -5
His face was kind. She could still see his eyes growing wide suddenly with surprise, and fear. There was a sort of pain in his eyes, that Guinevère could make herself stop seeing. He had be so afraid but hurt too. His face. She could not stop seeing.g his face as she pushed the dagger into him and he died.
The sounds of foot steps didn't reach her, as she sat in the chamber that once housed all of Arthur's Mother's things. Not there was less of them in here as Arthur moved them back to the main rooms. Instead of hiding her, he honored his mother. A good woman. Who had not killed.
Staring at the object in her hand, not not seeing it enough to even know what she held, Guinevère sat there on a trunk and tried to stop the memories. They came in nightmares, always so clear. She killed him and then tried to kill Arthur. She could remember his touch, and her unkind thoughts. She could have killed him too. Sometimes it was Arthur's eyes that widened in surprised and pain. Sometimes she dreamed he could not forgive her, as she could not forgive herself.
The sound of the footsteps stopping just behind her finally reached her ears as she inhaled a soft gasp, hold back the tears and forcing the emotion.s from her face. She was getting better at hiding it, she thought. Turning her smile she put on faulted, and her face softened with a more natural expression of a small smile. "Arthur. I thought you were training this morning with Percival? "
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Jul 15, 2013 17:12:46 GMT -5
The morning had started off with his usual routine, which entailed training as men. With his role as king, he did not train them as regularly has he did when he was a prince, and often had Leon or one of the other knights fill in for him. Today, he was privately training Percival as the knight had missed the last session. However, having had to return to his chambers because he forgot something, he didn't see Guinevère there and his plan changed. He wanted to make sure she was alright, so found himself looking around for her. No one had seen her. Panic filled him, for while it should not seem so worrisome for him to not know of her whereabouts . . . with everything that had happened, he needed to always know she was safe.
Since the spell on her had been broken, he'd made it a point to be with her when she woke up in the morning, and with her every night before she fell asleep. He knew she was struggling with everything she had gone through, and Arthur wished with all his heart that he could take that suffering from her. That they could somehow switch places. It made him hate Morgana for what she had made Guinevère do, knowing it was his fault that she was targeted in the first place. He just wished there was something more he could do. He could see how it was affecting her, during the day when she would seek time alone or seem to be deep in thought. At night when she struggled to sleep or abruptly woke due to terrible nightmares. He wished he could take all the pain she was feeling away . . . somehow.
After having searched most places, he sent word that they would have to postpone the training, as he would not be present for it. His wife came first. Not seeing her, or hearing of where she had gone . . . there was still one place that came to mind. If she was not there, then Arthur would not hesitate sending out a search party to find her. It may seem paranoid, he preferred to look at it as cautious. As he neared the room, he entered, feeling a massive wave of relief when he saw her there. She was safe. But troubled. Otherwise, she would not be in this room. "Guinevère," he greeted, unsure of how much of that relief was apparent in his tone. He walked toward her, returning the soft smile she gave him.
"I thought I would give him the morning off," he told her as she questioned his training. Standing directly in front of her he took her hand in his, raising it to his lips in a lingering kiss before just holding her one hand with his two. "Are you well?" He asked, knowing that it seemed like a silly question for he knew the answer even if she did not admit it. Yet, still felt the need to ask it. Guinevère was like that. Possessing a strength beyond anyone he knew. But just as when he tried and failed in suppressing his emotion and troubles from her . . . he knew her well enough to know when she was doing the same.
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Post by Guinevère on Jul 15, 2013 17:23:54 GMT -5
Guinevère smiled a little brighter when he kissed her hand, and found some of the dark thoughts from moments ago easier to hide and push to the back of her mind. "Of course I was just--" She looked around and seemed to just realize where she was, and that she had no real excuse for being here. Looking down in her hands she noticed she held one of the small toys from Arthur's own childhood in them.
Pushing her smile brighter, she moved to put it back on one of the tables. "I was just in here to make sure everything was in order, and not . . . dusty, and grew lost in thought." Turning back to him, she walked closer and smiled up at him, this smile a little easier then before. Arthur's presence alone gave her comfort, and helped her feel more like who she had been before. He made her feel warm and safe. While before, at times he had made her feel untouchable, she had not quite gotten that level of safe back. Though it was mostly because she feared herself. "You said your plans changed, is everything alright?"
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Jul 15, 2013 17:36:12 GMT -5
Arthur wasn't sure he believed her. Not that he thought she was outright lying, but he knew that there was more to it. He hadn't even noticed what she held in her hand until she moved to set it back on the table. "Apparently, I loved that toy," he said, not having a strong memory of it but having been told by his former nurse. He didn't want to bombard her with questions of what she was thinking about, inquire again as to whether she was ok, and so on. His concern for her did not lessen, but he also knew that forcing her to talk about it surely would not help. He would ease into that, and only if she was willing to. He smiled when she was near him again, this time wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close to him. "Everything's fine," he assured her. "I thought that we could spend some time together, perhaps have lunch together."
Which was not something he did as often as he would have liked but these days, he was trying to make it as much of a priority as he could. "That is, if you do not have other plans," he added, slightly teasing but also posing it as a genuine question. Did she have prior commitments? Would she prefer to be alone? He did not want to force his company on her . . . as he was sure he'd done in the time she was enchanted. He often wondered about that. About the times he had kissed her and they had been in bed together. Had she done that out of obligation, because of the curse? No. Surely not. Surely he would have noticed the difference . . . but perhaps that was part of why he felt so responsible. The fact that he could not even tell she was enchanted, terrified him. He should have known, should have realized how different she was. But he hadn't. And if he had, he could have stopped it sooner.
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Post by Guinevère on Jul 15, 2013 17:49:35 GMT -5
He asked her if they could share a meal, and her smile grew a little more knowing that they could spend time together outside the hours they stole at night. "I would love nothing better." She had plans for today, but she would miss them--gladly--for this time with him. To spend the time with him and to build fresher memories then the dark ones she held.
She watched him for a moment before asking for something more, "Perhaps we could have a picnic in the garden?" She had never asked him to leave the citadel because apart of her was afraid too just yet. Soon, she promised herself, but not yet. For now she just wanted to be safe within it's walls. "I could gather some things and meet you there shortly, if that suits you?"
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Jul 15, 2013 18:07:23 GMT -5
Arthur once again felt relieved that she wanted to spend the afternoon with him, and not prefer to be by herself. She even suggested that they have a picnic in the gardens, which sounded wonderful. It had been quite some time since they had enjoyed an outdoors picnic, specifically in the garden and now seemed like a wonderful time to remedy that. "That sounds perfect," he told her, in full agreement of her plan. "I will make all the arrangements. All you need do is come," With that, he leaned forward and lightly kissed her forehead, before forcing his arms back to his side. "I will see you very soon," he added before hurrying off to get everything prepared. He sent word to the kitchens to have the meal ready, while he changed.
Deciding that this occasion called for more casual attire, he changed from his chainmail to his white shirt, trousers, boots and belt. Once he was ready he went to the gardens to pick the perfect location. One that gave them some privacy, for he was even telling Merlin he would not need him present. He wanted it to really just be Guinevère and himself. No one else. With a blanket and pillows set out, the food began to exit and was placed on the blanket. Arthur had sent Merlin to get flowers, which Arthur placed in a vase in the center of the arrangement. Now, all that awaited was his queen. He sent everyone off -- even Merlin which required extra insistence -- and stood by where everything was set uppicnic, waiting for his wife to join him.
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Post by Guinevère on Jul 15, 2013 18:48:56 GMT -5
Guinevère took the time to make sure her plans were moved to another day. They were with luck, not plans of any great importance that could not be held off. Once they were moved, and her apologizes made she went to find Arthur, pausing for a moment as Merlin passed and teased her about Arthur 'doing all the work' to set up a lunch.
When she entered the garden, she walked in deeper, and for a moment did not see where he was. Her heart skipped a beat, until she turned the corner and found him. Smiling brighten then she had for days, Guinevère walked closer and looked at the setting he had built. "You are spoiling me." She teased, as she came to rest before him, and touched his arm while she leaned up to kiss him in thanks for this. "It looks wonderful, thank you."
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Jul 15, 2013 19:36:18 GMT -5
Arthur felt rather proud at having set this up, though knew he was a far ways away from spoiling her. While this wasn't exactly a surprise -- seeing as how it had been her suggestion -- he enjoyed doing things like this for her. Unfortunately, the last couple of times he had, she'd been under the spell. When he had framed their bed with her favorite flowers, when they had gone for their anniversary picnic . . . neither of which were things he wished to bring up. Especially their anniversary. For he did not want her to think on what had happened that prevented them from truly celebrating. Instead, this would be their little belated celebration. "Never," he teased when she suggested that he spoiled her. Really, he seldom did enough for her. He leaned into the kiss until she pulled away, thanking him.
"I should be the one thanking you for this idea," he smiled. Taking her hand in his, he lead her over to where the pillows were set up for them to sit, and as he seated himself, gently pulled her down with him. "I can't recall the last time we had a picnic in the gardens," he said, trying to remember but his memory failing. "Perhaps on our one year anniversary." When he'd given her the butterfly room. He picked up a plate and began putting a little bit of everything on it for her. His mind thought back to their first picnic . . . all those years ago. How far they had come since then.
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Post by Guinevère on Jul 15, 2013 21:21:43 GMT -5
At the words of their first anniversary, she smiled, thinking of the happy times--though the smile wasn't as bright as before, because she had missed their last one. She sat so she could face him, but still touch him. She wanted to be close to him, and see him at the same time; so she sat with their thighs touching, leaving them only far enough apart so they had room to eat.
She reached for a plate and sat it empty on her lap. She waited a moment before taking her own turn to fill her plate up with things, though not as much as Arthur did. He could always out eat her, and with how active he was she knew he needed it. "It seems so long ago." She admitted, after a long moment, "From that day." From everything really. "Forever really." But in truth it had not been that long. Everything was simpler then. Easier.
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Jul 15, 2013 21:39:24 GMT -5
Arthur noticed her begin to fill a plate and smiled, as he swiftly took it from her hand and replaced it with the plate he had filled with her. He noticed the small portions on what was now his plate and began to fill it with a bit more, listening her to speak of how it felt so long ago since their first anniversary. Arthur had to agree. For so much had happened between now and then. Well, more so in the past few months -- when Morgana had returned from wherever she had stayed. Those three years had been filled with peace, and the moment she had returned, was when the kingdom fell into danger once more. When Guinevère's life fell into danger. When . . . Morgana had used her. Arthur didn't want to mention that, even if he did want to help put her mind at ease.
"It does," he agreed, wanting to keep the mood raised rather than force her to dwell on darker times. "Yet not as long ago as our very first picnic." Such fond memories -- despite how it ended which was just something else to blame Morgana for. Setting his plate down, he poured some wine into her cup before doing the same for his own as he continued to speak. "If there is one thing that has not changed since then, or at least has only grown, is how much I love you." He handed her the cup, holding his own raising it in a toast. "To us. In all the obstacles we have faced, for it has only made us stronger." Where words were not his strong suit, he forced himself to come up with what he hoped were the right ones. Guinevère was always there for him when he felt troubled . . . he wanted to be that for Guinevère.
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Post by Guinevère on Jul 15, 2013 22:00:41 GMT -5
Arthur took her plate and then handed her his slightly heavier one, leaving Guinevère watching him with a slightly amused expression. She could not eat all this, for ever since . . . . she came back, she had not had much of a want for food. Though she knew he worried so she tried to eat when he was around so he would not. She did not want more weight on him.
He handed her a cup, and spoke words that made her heart swell. Leaning forward she stole a short kiss before clinking her cup with his and taking a sip. She wasn't sure all her trails made her stronger. She felt rather weak after what Morgana had used magic to do to her. "It seems we have more of them of late, then we used to." She admitted, but didn't wish to ruin their lunch. "The picnic is not my favorite memory of our firsts. It is near the top, but it is not the one I think of most."
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Jul 15, 2013 23:32:33 GMT -5
Arthur smiled when she gave him a short kiss, and tried not to let it fade when she spoke of how they had a great deal many obstacles recently than they've had for a while. She was right. With Morgana's return came more threats and challenges . . . especially the recent one. But he did not want to start their picnic off that way. He knew full well that whatever happened to Guinevère, was because of him. Because he loved her. And yet, despite that, he could never keep apart from her. He loved her far too much and if he thought for a moment that being with him made her unhappy, he would have ended things long ago. But that was not the case. For it was their love for one another that kept them strong, and would continue to do so. "Oh really?" He asked, in a bit of a playful voice.
"And which one of our firsts do you think of the most?" He asked in a slight teasing voice, though meant his question for he wished to know. He could think of a few firsts that he thought of fondly . . . yet it was not only their first passionate night of intimacy that he thought of. But so many other moments. The first time she yelled at him, their first kiss, their first night as a married couple . . . so many fond memories. He wanted to remind her of that, have her focus on them. Morgana had used their love against them in the cruelest of ways, but he wanted to be sure Guinevère remembered not only the darker times, but the lighter ones too. Though he doubted she would forget, as she was often the one reminding him of all the light that existed in this world. It seemed however right now, that she was the one who needed to be reminded. After what Morgana did to her -- and made her do -- he needed to ensure that not all her thoughts were of those moments under the enchantment.
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Post by Guinevère on Jul 16, 2013 17:13:00 GMT -5
He wanted to know her favorite memory, and Guinevère paused and tried to think of what to tell him. She knew her favorite memory was more of many moments pushed together, then of a single moment. Times when he came to her, and showed faith and trust in her. It was how he looked at her from across the room when he had to make a choice. He looked to her as she she gave him something he needed.
"Its the first few times you said my name drifferently. And when you would seek out my gaze in a crowd when you where trying to think or make a choice. Its not just one memory its a lot of small ones that were proof of how you loved and trusted me. How I was different from others. Special." Looking down for a moment she lifted her gaze, "It was also the time days you spent in my home....the last night where you treated me not like a servant.......even if you tried to trick me." She teased.
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Jul 16, 2013 20:23:32 GMT -5
He smiled as she desired past memories that she cherished. He seldom ever called her Gwen, in the beginning it was because she had not responded to just Gwen but soon after . . . her full name had grown on him. And he hadn't shortened it since. "You are different from others. You are special." He wanted her to know that it was still the case, and it was not past tense. He of course still loved and trusted her, and that there was still something grand and wonderful that separated her from all others. He gave a slight chuckle when she brought up the last night in her house. The time that had truly bonded them and opened their eyes to who the other really was -- or could be in his case since he hadn't exactly been the perfect house guest.
"I was trying to impress you," he admitted. By lying and saying that he had cooked a dinner. He didn't like failing in anything and since he knew he couldn't cook, he had found another way to be successful, though was easily caught. "After what you had said that night, I realized I would have done a better job impressing you had I attempted to cook and failed. Rather than lying about cooking." Because she had wanted him to show humility. She had wanted him to do something kind for her, despite their status. What she may not have realized at the time . . . was that Arthur had been falling for her. If he hadn't made it known the first night, then certainly the next when he kissed her. "Hopefully I've gotten easier to live with since then," he said jokingly. Back then, it had been such a temporary thing. But ever since having fallen in love with each other, and knowing that they would one day marry, not sharing a chamber was never an option.
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Post by Guinevère on Jul 16, 2013 20:50:19 GMT -5
"I am not so sure about easier to live with," She teased knowing that Arthur would always be Arthur but he had grown from the arrogant prince to the noble king. While still arrogant and prideful, he did not let them define him any long. He no longer let these emotions lead him into events that he had trouble getting out of. Now he was able to be a wise man, who made better choices with a calm head.
It was one reason she loved him more. The youthful arrogance had been fun, but it also had caused him trouble. He had learned from his mistakes, and grew into the man he wanted--rather then what his father, or anyone else wanted. "But I so think it's more charming now." She finished her teasing, grateful for the ease of the conversation, that push the darkness more away for the time.
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Jul 17, 2013 23:34:00 GMT -5
He made a bit of a face at her tease, all in good humor of course, but that expression transformed to one of pride when she said that it was more charming now. "Charming is what I go for. Though it does come quite naturally for me," he said, playing up on that arrogance that he had once had. Having become king, a certain level of maturity was required. Though he knew that his relationship with Guinevère during his time as prince had also matured him. Still, it was fun to act arrogant, as the man he once was many years ago. "At least you no longer think that you're residing with a pig," he said teasingly, recalling how she had told him over dinner that she thought a pig had gotten in.
And in her attempt to deflate the situation, said that he only 'sounded' like one. How long ago that was indeed. Days when he had treated her as a servant. Then moving onto the forbidden aspect of their relationship . . . the impossibility of them ever being together. To now this. Married, settled, and happy. He would continue to fight for the day when Camelot would truly be at peace -- meaning free from its most vile enemies. Morgana, being the main one. For she did not start wars in the traditional sense of sending an army after them. She struck at the heart of Camelot . . . and in this case, the heart of Camelot was Guinevère.
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Post by Guinevère on Jul 18, 2013 8:15:31 GMT -5
"No! I said you SOUNDED like one!" She defended herself, though she was laughing now, knowing he was teasing her. The darkness pushed away for the moment with Arthur near, though she knew when he left her again it would return. Along with the guilt, for she could have happy moments, but the man she killed would not, and the men she had manipulated, the husband she had betrayed all would still have memories of the lies she lived.
"You are never going to let me forget I said that, are?" She asked, still laughing, "You have no idea how imitating it was to have the crown prince in your home can be for a girl like I was." A servant. "I did not know what to even do with myself in those days! Th first day I still there thinking about how I could kill Merlin for talking me into this, and I could not even think of what to say or do. Merlin had to remind me to even make you supper!"
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Jul 18, 2013 22:37:10 GMT -5
He loved hearing her laugh. He had not failed to notice how little she had done so since her return, and it caused his heart to ache. To know that Morgana had taken so much from her, forcing her to come to terms with that had happened. He smiled, chuckling in return as she continued to speak of that time, saying how it was to have the crown prince in her home. Having wanted to kill Merlin for talking her into it. Having forgotten to prepare supper until Merlin reminded her. "I would have thought it would be a great honor to have the crown prince in your home," he said, playing on that joking arrogance once again.
"Though for what it's worth, you were an excellent hostess. Even though I took advantage of your kindness," he said, knowing that admittance was nothing new. He was well aware that he had treated her poorly at the time, and would forever make it up to her."When I first entered your house, I told Merlin that I couldn't possibly stay in it for the next few days. But over time, it grew on me. It felt like a home, one filled with comfort." Arthur recalled that time following his father's death that the castle had felt so cold and lonely. Morgana had become their enemy, his father had passed on, Agravaine was there -- but knowing what he did now, that provided little comfort. "And you brought that comfort and warmth with you, when you moved into the castle." The knights were there of course, but none of it compared to the warmth he felt when Guinevère was there.
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Post by Guinevère on Jul 18, 2013 23:06:00 GMT -5
"Oh, you felt less of an honor right about then," She teased, recalling having to fetch him bath water from the well in the middle of the night when so many strangers were in town. She had been angry and slightly frighten walking back and forward that night. "The night you sent me to fetch you bath water, had I passed Merlin that night in the street's he might have wore that water home." She teased more, knowing she would not have.
Then Arthur turned sweet and spoke of her bringing warmth to the castle, and her mind turned to how little she had brought of late. First with the spell, when she had done more harm then good, and then after where she had not felt like put flowers out even. She opened her lips to say something, but could not think of anything light, and care free to say, so instead she smiled softly at him, and say nothing.
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Jul 19, 2013 16:18:47 GMT -5
Arthur chuckled when she spoke of how he felt less of an honor, and his amusement only grew when she said that Merlin had worn most of the water home. Truth be told, Arthur had not realized he was saying or doing anything rude or bad at the time . . . and then later when Guinevère had pointed out how he had been ungrateful and inconsiderate, that was when he finally clued in. And now . . . well, now he would never send Guinevère anywhere late at night. Not without him going with her or a small army to accompany her. He noticed her expression slightly change at his later words, and his smile shrunk, becoming less amused but it was still soft yet smaller.
Had he said something wrong? He knew he needed to be more careful to help encourage the light mood and at the same time . . . knew how troubled she was with everything. It was not likely easy to forget, which is why he hoped that when asked, she would talk to him about it. Be honest about it. Reaching over, he gently rested his hand over hers as he spoke. "What are you thinking about?" Letting go of the previous teasing of his arrogant ways . . . he knew now that the situation called for something a little more serious. She was always there for him, he wanted to be here for her, whether it was to make her laugh, or help her unburden her troubles.
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