What Would I Be Without Her

[Arthur Pendragon]

Sleep seemed to be an impossibility right now, under the circumstances. Everytime Arthur closed his eyes, he saw flashes of potential dangers and harm that could currently be inflicted upon his wife. She was under Morgana's wrath and they all knew what sort of horrible things the priestess was capable of. He just wanted Guinevère back. He wanted to be sleeping in their bed, with her wrapped in his arms and wake up the same way. Instead, he was lying on the ground, finding it was colder and more uncomfortable than usual. Because he could only feel that crippling fear of his missing wife: not know if she was alright, or even -- dare he say -- alive. No. She was alive. She had to be. He could feel it. Surely he would be able to feel his heart breaking if something happened to her.

Surely their connection was strong enough. Though even if she was alive, didn't mean she wasn't suffering at the hands of Morgana. He knew this was all his fault, that every strike Morgana made against Camelot and the people he cared about, was an attempt to get to him. Sometimes he wished he could just go to her and offer himself, but knew that no good would come of that. He just had to believe that they would find Guinevère and bring her home safely. But that thought wasn't enough to warm him or ease his mind. So he tossed and turned, deciding to open his eyes. Most everyone was sleeping, but in the distance, he saw a figure. Arthur raised his head and looked around. Everyone was accounted for except . . . Elyan. Of course. Entirely understandable. While every man here cared and loved the queen, Elyan was her brother.

Deciding that Arthur was not going to get much sleep either, perhaps his time would be better spent trying to ease Elyan's trouble mind. Though he was aware of the hypocrisy for the king knew that nothing apart from Guinevère's safe return could ease his own mind. He quietly walked toward where Elyan stood: far out of earshot but not far away from sight. "Elyan," he greeted so that he would not alarm the knight and he walked toward him until he stood by his side. Arthur wasn't sure what to say that could console him. For it had really been Merlin who had been helping Arthur cope with Guinevère's kidnapping. How could he offer the same comfort to Elyan when Arthur's mind, heart and soul were filled with fear and worry for her. Still, he had to try. Elyan was his brother of heart and through relation, though the former being far stronger.

_{Setting: In the woods
Time of Day: Late at night
Timeline: During The Dark Tower
Tag: Elyan}

[cherryblossom131]

It was his fault. That thought alone was running through his mind. He'd known from the start that there was no way he would be able to sleep tonight so he kept watch, sitting near a small fire to keep him warm. Not that he deserved it. He wondered if Gwen had a fire to keep her warm, if she even had food or water. Images of his sister in pain on a cold stone floor flashed through his mind. Yes, all of this was his fault. He was her brother and therefore her protect er by default. Since their father had passed she'd been his responsibility and now he'd let them both down; as usual. He still couldn't believe he lost her. No, he thought to himself, he couldn't think like that. He had to believe his sister was still alive. It was the only thing that drove him forward; he needed her to be alive. He didn't want to and couldn't even bare to think of the alternative.

One thing he knew for sure was that he didn't blame Arthur in the slightest. He wouldn't really be surprised if Arthur blamed him, hated him even. Gwen had been in his care when they visited their fathers grave and he had failed to protect her. He didn't dare think what their father thought if him now. Elyan stood up abruptly, gritting his teeth and letting out a growl in frustration. He missed her and hated himself for letting Morgana get away with taking her. He would do anything to get her back, or die trying. Elyan was so deep in his own thoughts that he didn't see Arthur coming, but when he heard his name he snapped out of it. "Arthur, I'm sorry if I woke you," he said sincerely. The least he could do was let the man get some rest. "I just can't seem to fall asleep," he said with a sigh as he sat down and rubbed a hand over his face, expecting Arthur to sit as well. The thoughts of Guinevère and where she could be continued to cloud his mind.