The Bracelet, The Queen, and The Truth

[Guinevère]

Guinevère was able to look at him, until he spoke of doubting her. Blinking she looked down and away; not because he had doubted her but because it was a reminder of how Morgana had made Guinevère doubt and hate herself for years. He'd spoke of how Morgana had done so much to her, but Guinevère knew why. She was the easiest target when you wanted to hurt Arthur. They'd gone after her brother, knowing it would get to Guinevère, they'd gone after her many times over the years because Arthur loved none above her. . . . . and she was an easy pray.

"Morgana knew the only thing that we'd let hurt us, was us." Guinevère said softly, not looking up at him. She'd gone well this time it seemed. "It is not the first love spell that we've seen. I didn't know you were under one either, when Lady Vivian was here. You could not have known then, either." She hoped he believed her, for she didn't have the mind to convince him just yet. Perhaps once this settled in her she could.

She's spent so many years avoiding saying 'his name', but she owed him this much. "Everyone thinks he died a traitor." It wasn't right. Lancelot had been a man of honor. Everyone thought she had betrayed her king, and the man she loved. She didn't care about that. She only cared that Arthur knew the truth. Turning to looked at him, and finally was calming enough to take in the sight of him. He was crying! It made the tears that had dried on her cheeks begin to fall once more, though this time they were silent. Lifting her hand she wiped them from his cheek.

Yesterday he'd forgiven her. In this moment, that forgiveness still meant the world for her. He had thought she'd done the unspeakable, and still he loved her more then her mistakes--and now, knowing she'd been under a spell, she loved him for it. Leaning forward she kissed him! Because he loved her, and she needed that right now.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Tag: Guinevère
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for the love

OF CAMELOT

Arthur knew that this was the risk of loving someone. Especially, as a king. For your enemies knew where to strike that would cause the most damage. Guinevère, constantly became their target and he wondered when it would stop. If it would stop. He couldn't bare the thought of losing her. "She knew where to strike that would cause the most damage." Regret heavy in Arthur's voice, wishing she never would have found out but also knew, it was inevitable that she would. How could she do this?

He still didn't understand how someone he had grown up with, someone who he considered his dear friend -- and someone that had also been close to Guinevère -- could be filled with such hatred for them both now. She spoke of Lady Vivian and Arthur knew it was different. This hurt more, knowing it came from Morgana. Knowing it happened, because of him. But he also knew that denying it, would not help in this moment. He should be comforting her. She spoke of how everyone believed he was a traitor, and the thought made his heart ache even more. How did he clear his name after so many years? He felt the need to but how? What happened was something he wanted forgotten, for he did not wish to give Guinevère a bad name.

He did not want to fuel any gossip among the people of Camelot. Closing his eyes he kissed her back, bringing a hand to her cheek, needing her touch in this moment. He eased out of it, knowing there was more he had to say. And, it would not be easy to hear. It had after all, been part of what upset Arthur. "Merlin knew it was not truly Lancelot," he revealed. The withholding of such a thing, further paining Arthur. Had he been told, he could have investigated. He could have given them the benefit of the doubt, knowing magic had been involved.

[Guinevère]

The kiss began to ease some of the torment in her. She knew it would only build again as she began thinking of that night. Of the things that were said, of the times that followed--Helios. The deer. Once she began letting herself think of these things, she would only find there was more to think of. Once, it had been her punishment, now she wasn't sure how to think on it. She wasn't sure of anything any more.

Arthur pulled from the kiss, and she sat there trying to think of what to say next--when his words made the coldness return. "Mer--" No! He was wrong! Merlin wouldn't know something like this and say nothing! "He couldn't have." Merlin was her dearest friend! He was Arthur's dearest friend! He had done everything to help them over the years, why would be be silently about something like this?!

She remembered his face as she walked brokenly out of the city, and he had stood there and watched her. "No, Merlin would not have not spoken up! He would have said something to you, or i about it! He would have . . . he would have!" She tried again! NO! Merlin was her friend! "He knew how much we've worked for this! He knew how much it was killing me! He even tried to ask me to come back that day in the woods, and I told him I couldn't. He would have said something, if he knew." Yet Arthur would not have said it, if it wasn't true!

"Why would he not?"

[Arthur Pendragon]

Tag: Guinevère
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All he could do was listen as Guinevère expressed her shock, the expected denial upon hearing this revelation. Truth was, Arthur wasn't entirely certain if he had fully accepted it himself. That one of his closest friends, had kept such a secret from him. One that had cost him the woman he loved -- or nearly cost him. Merlin had seen how, miserable Arthur had been after Guinevère was gone. How could he not had said anything? Just like Guinevère, Arthur didn't understand it. Nor did he try to search for justification as to why their friend would keep this from them. He would confront Merlin later about it. Right now, Arthur's priority was Guinevère. "I don't know," he admitted, knowing his voice also held the pain of the lie. Of withholding the truth.

Did he really have so little faith in Arthur that he kept it from him? It did indeed hurt, for it had been Merlin who had wanted them to be together. Merlin who advised him about Princess Elena, and Mithian. Yet it was also Merlin . . . who kept such a secret when it involved Guinevère and their dear friend Lancleot. But before he could voice his own thoughts, Arthur paused, belatedly realizing something that Guinevère had said when questioning Merlin's motivations of keeping this from them. "What do you mean, when he saw you in the woods?" When did he see him? Arthur could not help but think of the ring he had found when hunting with . . . Mithian. Had it been before or after? Had Merlin not noticed him gripping the ring? 

[Guinevère]

Merlin. Why had he not shared this with them? What if it could have led them to look at things differently? Knowing it was Lancelot would have spared them months of heart ache! Perhaps even more? Arthur asked about the woods and Guinevère lifted her eyes to look at him. He didn't know? Had Merlin not delivered her message?! No! Merlin would have! He'd have done it over something that important! Maybe Arthur didn't know where they met?

"During . . . during my banishment, I over heard Morgana and Helios planning. She spoke of your uncle. Merlin found me in the woods, helped me since I was injured, and said he would tell you. He asked me to come back, but . . . I couldn't face you. So he sent me to Eldor instead. To his mother." She explained, watching Arthur's face. "Merlin said he would tell you. I believed him, I still do." She didn't want to make the mistake of not believing someone without proof, but if Arthur didn't know . . . then what else had Merlin kept from them?

She didn't want to believe it. "I told him of their plan, and that they were using your uncle to get close to you and try to control you." Which made sense, his uncle had tried to break them up before. WHen it didn't work, Morgana sent Lancelot.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Tag: Guinevère
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Arthur thought back to that time, to what was happening when Helios and Morgana were in the planning stages -- unbeknown to him. Along with his uncle. The wound of his uncle's betrayal still hurt, and perhaps Morgana's. But it was something Arthur had learned to live with. What other choice was there? But . . . Merlin's lies now freshly felt, hurt. For he thought for a time, that Merlin was the one person who had never lied nor betrayed him. "He didn't tell me," Arthur said, thinking over everything . . . trying to process everything. "He tried to tell me of Agravaine's plans." Arthur hadn't believed him for there was no evidence.

Merlin had claimed his uncle had the siege plans but . . . they were right where they were supposed to be. Arthur should have been smarter. He should have thought that magic was involved. Just like he should have known with Lancelot and Guinevère. "I didn't believe him," Arthur added, an almost shame to his voice now knowing that the discovery had been made by Guinevère. "But, he did not tell me it came from you." Had there been a witness . . . had it been Guinevère, perhaps Arthur would have thought differently, despite whatever personal feelings of hurt he felt at the time. He had already acknowledged at that point that he still loved Guinevère, and could never be with another. "Had I known you were there and hurt . . . " He would have tried to help.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère st on the floor still, and listened as he talked about what he was told, and how much he didn't know. He hadn't known she was hurt--which meant he didn't know she was Helios' prisoner. If Merlin hadn't told him that was she there. She looked down, her head swimming so much from everything that was happening today. For two days in a row she'd woken up feeling wonderful and then ended up crying and hugging her husband. Her heart broke for them both, and for this it should have been swelling.

Would have had believed him if Merlin said the news came from Guinevère? She didn't know how Arthur felt toward her then. She had gotten some hope from his hug in Eldor, but afterwards he still didn't wish to talk to her. She was glad she'd not come back. She didn't think she could have faced even, even now knowing it was a spell. That day in the woods, his words had hurt almost as much as they had that night. She'd taken them, thinking she'd deserved them because she'd hurt him. She missed getting to be there with him as he pulled the fabled sword from the stone. A tell she'd not heard until then, but she'd not dared go up to him then.

"I do not think either of us were ready to see the other," she told him, echoing her thoughts. Her hand lifted to touch his cheek. "Though I see now I should have been braver and came to you myself. Maybe it would have changed things?"

She moved toward him slightly, so she could better face him. Her mind calming some to let her better think, though right now she still feared that once she begin thinking she would wish she hadn't. The layers of of hurt that was just behind the shock would be more then she could handle. "You had a princess here, perhaps he didn't wish to make things harder?"

[Arthur Pendragon]

Tag: Guinevère
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Arthur wished he could tell her otherwise, but she was right. To an extent, they had not been ready to see each other. He knew that he had said things that he no longer felt now. Telling her that everything between them was gone. Telling Merlin that he would never trust Guinevère. Time had helped some, but it was circumstance that caused forgiveness. True forgiveness. "No," he said to her, not wanting her to doubt her bravery. "I had not exactly made Camelot feel welcome to you." He had banished her, on pain of death if she ever returned. But he knew that if she had, he could never actually punish her in such a way.

"I just . . . I wish knew, that you were out there. I would not have left you injured in the middle of the woods." He liked to think that he was not that heartless, and that he cared for her too deeply. "I would never see you harmed, Guinevère." Which was why he had to send her away. "All I wanted was a reason . . . and had I known magic was involved . . . " He would have explored it further. He should have. He knew that now. Yet his thoughts were ceased when Guinevère spoke of a princess. Arthur paused for a moment, gaze falling, jaw clenched for he was not proud of what he had done. How he had tried to move on so quickly. How he had brought Mithian here under the promise of marriage only to send her away.

"I thought . . . " His heart had been broken, and would never love again. He thought that his heart was a weakness and that he needed to use the strength of his mind. "It would have been for the best." For the best of the kingdom to marry a princess. Because, he could never truly love another. He had believed that he was not destined to marry for love after all. How wrong he had been. "I only hurt her in the end," he added, regretful for how he treated her. How he treated Guinevère. He had a horrible habit of this, as Elena also came to mind.

"It was a mistake. I knew I could not marry another. That I could never love another." That he had been willing to give up his ancient claims, publicly declaring that the kingdom was worth nothing to him without Guinevère. "And, Merlin knew my thoughts of it." Yet he had still said nothing . . . he still remained silent. Arthur had opened up to him and he mentioned nothing of Guinevère.

[Guinevère]

"I had not exactly made Camelot feel welcome to you." No, but he had reason too, since at the time they both believed she'd betrayed him for another. He had been fair, since his Uncle had wanted him to kill her."I would never see you harmed, Guinevère." She knew, and she told him do. "I know. I never believed you would." Even if she'd come back, she knew it wouldn't be her life.

"All I wanted was a reason . . . and had I known magic was involved . . . " It was then she realized that they'd both had thought she'd done. Neither of them believed this was far from who she was, enough to think of magic was the reason. She couldn't expect him to have though so, if she couldn't either. Everyone had thought she'd done it. The knights that had walked her from the cell to the throne room had pushed her to her knees. None of her friends had come to say goodbye. They'd all sided with Arthur. Knowing now that she'd been under a spell--hurt worse then it had before. A tear fell over her cheek, at the reminder of how alone she'd felt for so long.

This is what she feared, the knew layers of emotions that would take over old memories. "I thought . . . " She looked at him, but he wasn't looking at her. Reaching forward she gently turned his face back to her own. Yes, it was easy to look away from each other, but they had proven they were stronger then that. "It would have been for the best." Perhaps it was. At the time. "I only hurt her in the end," A lot of people were hurt over one spell. Morgana's mark had been true. "It was a mistake. I knew I could not marry another. That I could never love another." And there was the silver living.

"Words that prove true, even years later." She told him softly, holding on to that more then the hurt. Because even when they did believe her to be unfaithful, and to have broken her promises--he loved her still. Guinevère wanted to look away, but after asking him to look at her when he spoke of hard things, she knew it wouldn't be fair. "I saw you together," she told him, knowing that he wouldn't have seen her. She had been under another spell at the time, and this time it had made her a deer. "I wouldn't have blamed you for seeking happiness." Yet she'd not gone back, because it had hurt too much. "You deserve it . . . more then most."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Tag: Guinevère
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When she moved his head to meet her gaze, he could hardly refuse. He knew it was cowardly to look away, yet the aversion was born of shame. The painful irony. Arthur never doubted the people he loved who and in actuality betrayed him -- Morgana, Agravaine -- yet the person he loved and the one he doubted, had not actually betrayed him. It was exhausting, to try and understand how those he shared blood with, hated him to such an extent to destroy any relationships he had strove to build. How that hatred had nearly destroyed everything.

He held her gaze as she spoke of how she wouldn't have blamed him for seeking happiness, that he deserved it. He disagreed with the latter. He didn't. Whatever he had done, and kept doing, was creating a lifetime of punishment. "I did not do it for happiness," he told her, wanting her to know that. To understand that. He had once thought that marrying Elena would make him miserable. And . . . he knew he could never love Mithian with his whole heart, despite how well they got along. He could never love her in the way he knew it possible to love someone.

"I did it to settle a dispute for land." The ancient lands of Nemeth. The alliance only for politics, rather than emotional bonds. Because, he had believed that as a king, such was his duty. That acting on his heart had done no good, for it had been broken. How wrong he was. "But it was not worth it," he continued to say. "I had forsaken them, if only to hold the hope that we would find our way to each other again." Not just physically, but more so, emotionally. He turned his head a little to place a light kiss in the palm of her hand that was on his cheek. "Ancient lands, this kingdom, it's worth nothing to me without you." Words he had said on the day, words he had once said to his father, and words he would forever stand by.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère heard his last words, and leaned forward to kiss him. She didn't hesitate, just lean forward and kissed him! His words meant the world to her! They were true, and she knew them to be for his actions spoke louder then his words. He'd given it up, for her, even when he wasn't ready to see her. Years later, he made sure she knew he forgave her; and loved hr completely! Even knowing there wasn't anything to forgive now, his actions meant to the world to her.

"There is something good from this," she told him, "Yesterday." Where they moved on. "Yesterday we proved that were stronger then a spell. That your love was stronger then a spell. That is the part I will hold on to." And somehow she would find a way to move on from the rest. It would take time, but she'd find a way. Because Arthur was still here, and still loved her!

"That night came close to ruining everything, but we are stronger then Morgana's hate." They were still on the floor, and she reached for his hands, standing on he could stand too; and then she moved into his arms. Where she belonged!

[Arthur Pendragon]

Tag: Guinevère
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He closed his eyes when she kissed him, taking in the reassurance that they were ok. That despite his . . . failure to see the truth, they would be ok. She was right though. They had proven to be stronger than Morgana's hate and that they could over come all obstacles. He knew that he would have to confront Merlin about this. That the pain of his lies was a wound too fresh. But with him and Guinevère, it would be alright. It was alright. "It's why she has never won," Arthur stated. She had certainly come close a few times, but she was never truly victorious. She had taken and lost the kingdom twice, and Arthur hoped that the second, would be the last time.

"And hopefully, never will." For he did not doubt that she was still out there, somewhere. Plotting her next move. Yet he would enjoy these quiet years without news of her. He wrapped his arms around his wife, holding her against him as he just drew the strength she always gave him. The peace she always filled him with. "Part of me wishes I had seen you in the woods that day," he said, still lamenting over the past. He had found her ring, but not her. And she had said she'd been injured. Piecing things together, he moved his head back a little, letting the detail of her words sink in, and though he was looking at her, his arms remained around her. "Why didn't I?" She said she saw Mithian and him in the woods. How had he not seen her?

[Guinevère]

Guinevère looked up from his embrace, so she could stay in his arms and still see his face. "There are many people out there who seek power, and gold. They will always try to harm you or the kingdom. As long as we are together, we can be stronger." Learn from their past, and be stronger when the next attack comes; then love would always over power hate.

Arthur asked about her in the woods, and Guinevère's soft smile faded slightly. "You did," she began taking his hands in her own. Her story would not be an easy one. "Let us sit," she began, pulling on his hand to move them to sit on the edge of the bed together. "I was working on a farm, when Helios attacked it looking for men. They killed many but he spared me." For pleasure. She thought about that time there. How she knew no one would come for her. She was completely alone there. She'd really lost everyone then.

"He favored me, and asked me to join him for supper . . . well, told me too. Morgana interrupted the supper. I was so far from home, and dressed . . . unlike me. She didn't look lose, and didn't know it was me. I over heard her plan, and saw the map she had. I knew that I had to warn you, so I ran." She'd clung to his ring that night. Knowing it was all she had left, and that she had to pull his courage and strength from it.

Her voice was slow, and almost distant as she looked at their linked hands, the rings on their fingers. She knew she should look at him, but the feelings she had then--that she didn't blame him for--were still so strong even years later. She'd never felt more alone and afraid in her life. She never would.

"You were with the princess. Hunting. I was running from Helios, and Morgana. They were there too, but not as close. To keep me from giving you the warning, Morgana cast another spell." Her voice was soft, almost hesitant as she thought about these times. Her hand tightened on his, both because she needed his support, and because he would need hers. "She turned me into a deer."

Guinevère pulled his hand over her leg where there was a scar there. Smaller then she assumed it would be. "You missed. She didn't." There was no accusation there. Only an acceptance of what happened. She knew there was no way Arthur could have known. Yet it was in this moment that she realized . . . Merlin somehow had. "I don't remember how i got away, but when I woke Merlin was there. It was dark, and he'd built a fire. He bandaged my leg, and sent me to his mother. Said I'd be safe there." And she was, until Arthur showed up.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Tag: Guinevère
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Arthur wished it was just about power and gold, but he knew that it was more . . . personal than that. That clearly, he had done something to make them hate him. Yet his next question brought the subject to rest when she led him over to sit, and she began to explain. There was . . . a great deal of information, and Arthur remained silent while trying to process all of it. From how Helios found her, to being favored by her . . . he did not dare to think of what that entailed, but he assumed that she was untouched. Surely, she would have told him had something more, severe happened. So he did not let his thoughts dwell on such dark possibilities. Helios was dead now and if he hadn't been, Arthur would surely had made sure of it by now. She then spoke of Morgana having come to discuss their plans, and Guinevère overhearing them.

When she spoke of his hunting trip, though it was years ago, Arthur remembered it very clearly. It had been when he found the ring, and when he knew for certain he could not go through with the marriage. He also recalled the confusion he felt when his arrow did not go where he aimed. The beauty of the deer they saw and . . . how they tried to find it, knowing it was hit, after Mithian struck it. It was a sickening thought to know that Morgana would do something so twisted as to have Guinevère transformed. What a cruel game she played . . . how so far she was from the sister he had grown up with and loved so dearly. It all made sense now, as Guinevère put his hand on her leg and spoke of how Mithian didn't miss. Yes. He remembered. They struck the deer's leg. No. Not a deer. Guinedeer Guinevère.

"I could have killed you," he realized, taking away the incredibly close call. Of how close he had been to killing her. "I almost killed you," he added on. And . . . would he ever have even known? Would have ever have realized what had happened? Would . . . Merlin ever have told him? "Merlin knew?" He both asked and stated. He knew that she had been a deer and that he and Mithian had nearly killed her? "I found the ring that day." Merlin knew he had found the ring. "I'm sorry, Guinevère," he said, his hand still on her leg where she placed it, his other arm wrapped around her as if to pull her close for a hug. An apology was needed for many things. For banishing her only to discover she had done nothing wrong. For nearly killing her. And, for putting a target on her because of his blood relation to Morgana.

[Guinevère]

Yes, he could have--but not because he was trying to hurt her. "You missed, that is all that matters now. There is no way you could have known." HOW he missed, she didn't know. Arthur never missed. Yet, he'd missed that day. He hugged her, and Guinevère wrapped her arms around him, and held him. It took her a few moments before she could reply. She looked at the ring on her finger, knowing that he had found it, but she'd assumed Merlin had.

"I lost it when she casted the spell." She explained, "It was all I had left . . . the only thing I had that I cared about." Pulling away, she wanted he it know, "I would never had just lost it. I cherished it!" Since it was his mother's, she needed him to know that!

He had asked about Merlin, but the ring had been more important in that moment. "Yes, He must have found out somehow, for he was there waiting when I woke up. He'd bandaged me, and had new clothes for me." She wondered if Merlin hadn't known he found the ring, and just kept her secret? Why else would he not explain where he had been?