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Gwaine was starting to feel a bit like he only saw Griff when the man was having some sort of crisis. It was an odd sort of tag to their friendship, mainly because Gwaine wasn’t really good at advice of any sort. Last time his advice had been to forget about his fiancée and find someone else to distract him. Somehow that had led Griff back to Camelot, and the fact he was now happily married showed that Gwaine was really bad at judging situations and giving advice. So what on earth was he doing here?

Gwaine raised his eye brows at his friends words, though his words were said in jest, he was still slightly insulted. To the best of his knowledge he didn’t have any children, he was always more careful than that, and he didn’t want children for a long long time. He didn’t feel like he was a particularly good family man, so what use would he be with a child. He was sure he would be fine with other peoples children in short bursts, but he doubted he would ever be able to cope with a child on his own. Perhaps Griff felt like this, because you rarely had a choice in this matter. Accidents happened, and most children were unplanned. “Not worried about who your own child will look like, are you?” He jested with a wink, but it was of course only a jest, after all even Gwaine had limits, and he never touched any of his friend’s women. It wasn’t in his style at all, and if he did that then he would have a lot less drinking partners. He was pretty sure he would have noticed if any of the women around Camelot who he had seduced had started to quicken, so far so good!

In all fairness, it wasn’t any of Gwaine’s business what the child was called or to get involved in that side of things. After all, that was for the parents to decide. Surely if Griff wanted to call his son Griff as well his wife would have to accept that? Then again, she was Mercian wasn’t she? Gwaine knew all about the Mercian women, they were incredibly stubborn and once their minds were made up they were unyielding, yes that was from personal experience. “I thought you were joking.” Gwaine said, pressing his back up against the wall and running his hand through his hair, “Would you really call your son Griff?” Gwaine wouldn’t call his son, should he ever have one, after himself. He wouldn’t think the child would want to be named after him either. “And if your wife won’t let you, what names would you have? You can’t call a girl Griff after all.” Perhaps this would distract Griff somewhat from his panicking. Gwaine was almost sure this would all be fine, and that it would have a happy ending, but as long as Griff was kept distracted then it would all be fine, and everyone would get through this unscathed.

In all his travels, Gwaine had never come across a woman in labour, and that could only be counted as a good thing. At the moment he wasn’t enjoying the waiting at all, and he wasn’t even the bloody father. He supposed Griff’s wife was probably enjoying this less than all of them put together, but still, Gwaine was entitled to complain. He wasn’t even supposed to be here. Well, he sort of was because he was such good friends with Griff, but still. “I have no idea how long labour takes.” Gwaine finally said to end the silence. He scrunched up his face as a sharp scream pierced the air, “Sounds bloody painful.” He muttered, and was suddenly incredibly grateful that he wasn’t a woman, though he wasn’t enjoying listening to it. “Looks like we’re here for most of the night anyway.” Gwaine finally declared, because it seemed likely that no one was going to get any sleep tonight. Fabulous.

Rescuing friends from women in taverns was starting to become a sort of habit for Gwaine. He had done a similar thing to Percival, but he had been a lot more drunk than Elyan was at the moment. He just shrugged off the woman who had tried to steal him away for a dance, he knew her by face, and he was sure she would find someone else incredibly quickly; she had a reputation for it. Perhaps he shouldn’t have rescued Elyan, in retrospect, it would have been quite amusing to watch him with the woman after all. However, Gwaine knew he had to look after his fellow brother in this situation. This was just one of the ways he had to look after him. Maybe Elyan would return the favour by helping him back up to the castle later when he was full of ale and the pleasure of the evening.

Gwaine wasn’t really sure how to describe how to join in the dancing. It always just felt natural in a sense because by this point Gwaine was usually too drunk to care if he looked elegant or not. He looked around the room, looking to see if there was a particular etiquette that was being followed tonight. Nothing was giving him a hint, so he shrugged at Elyan. They didn’t have to join in the dancing straight away after all, they could just enjoy themselves listening to the music and watching everyone else for a while. As long as he dragged Elyan up for a dance eventually, he didn’t really care when it happened. He clapped his friend on the back, “Why don’t we ponder it over another drink?” There was another bar in here, so an ale was within arms reach. Before Elyan could protest, he had hooked his arm through his friends and he was dragging him towards the bar. Gwaine’s coin purse was still heavily laden with the money he had won through cards earlier, so he felt obliged to buy his friend a drink; mainly because getting him drunk would probably be the only way he would ever persuade him that getting up for a dance would be a good idea. Once he had two ales in his hands he passed one to Elyan and began to watch the dancing; he already felt quite warm from the atmosphere in the room overall. “Well, what do you think of it all?” Gwaine was used to tavern scenes like this, he had witnessed them all across Albion, but he wasn’t sure whether Elyan was used to this side of society.

Gwaine took a few moments to just take in the general atmosphere of the room. It was everything he’d hoped it would be. This was such a breath of fresh air from the feasts they had to attend in Camelot. Here you could just be yourself, rather than acting a part in front of the other nobles in Camelot. Gwaine did love his job, and he did enjoy the feasts, but this was him well and truly letting his hair down, and he was already plotting how to put Iwan in this uncomfortable situation. It wasn’t uncomfortable for Gwaine, but it would be for Iwan. He was sure he could arrange it somehow. Irritating Iwan had become one of his favourite hobbies recently, however strange and stalkerish that sounded. As the music struck up again, there seemed to be unorganised dancing at the front of the room nearest the musicians. Gwaine wasn’t about to jump straight into the dancing, it was sometimes just as amusing to watch everyone as it was to dance. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a young couple already heading out into the dark. He chuckled to himself; those had been the days. Gwaine still enjoyed the thrill of such things, but he found himself now aiming for a women of a higher calibre some of the time...

Gwaine would have answered Elyan’s question, but as he looked to his side his friend had already disappeared. Wait, what? Where had he gone? He went to call out his friend, not that that would have helped in the slightest, there was no hope of being heard in here anyway. He quickly spotted his friend though, being pulled off to dance. Elyan looked quite out of his depth, and as funny as it was, Gwaine did feel some obligation to help him. He grabbed the mans shirt and pulled him from the woman who looked slightly put off but quickly found another partner. “Not to your taste eh?” He winked at his friend as he gestured to the woman, “Come on, we should join in the dance.”

Gwaine couldn’t be any more in control of this situation, or smug about it, if he tried. Robyn was completely eating out of the palm of his hand, and he was enjoying the sensation. It had been far too long since a woman had been this easily in his control, and really he had missed it completely. Though he never had a problem with women having a bit of spunk, or self empowerment, he had been running into too many women recently who were so stubborn to not give into his charms that he had thought that he had been losing his touch completely, and that wouldn’t do at all. Of course he wasn’t thinking about other women right now, he was thinking and having to concentrate on Robyn. He would have to think of something now to complete this little wager, hmm. He never was one to disappoint a woman, and he wasn’t a good loser either, so he was sure he would come up with something. Whether Robyn wanted to go along with his suggestions was a completely different story of course. That all depended on how free Robyn was really. Most women guarded their virtue with their lives, but Robyn seemed to be from the other branch of womanhood, and that was only agreeable in his eyes. After all, how would women know if they were truly being pleasured by their husbands if they had only ever lay with them? It was utter madness, and above all it was a false economy, therefore Gwaine took his education of women incredibly seriously. “I can assure you that you won’t be disappointed.” He said with a rather smug grin.

Unsurprisingly, Gwaine was quite taken in by people in the future being referred after him. He had been to quite a fair few places after all, so it wouldn’t be surprising if he had left a lasting impression. Gwaine didn’t really know anyone else who had taken up the lifestyle he had to the entirety that he had. After all, he couldn’t think of a Kingdom that he hadn’t been to. Gwaine nodded at Robyn’s words, and took a piece of her hair and curled it around his finger before releasing it, “Well when I hear the expression used by the hundreds, I will know where it has come from.” He smirked at her and sat back in his chair again. She wasn’t being subtle at all about the way he was obviously making her feel. In a way that made it easier, but it was a little less fun as well.

Though Robyn professed she didn’t find his hand desirable, he was starting to think she just desired all of him. Though that was mostly his ego, it was also because of the way her eyes were starting to drag over his figure. He wasn’t complaining of course, it fed his ego a bit too much. He just continued to smirk at her, and felt himself get more and more confident and sure of himself. “Then is there anything in particular that you do find desirable... I do have more redeeming features than just my hand.” She still hadn’t let go of his hand, so he smirked down at his touch, and just settled down in his seat waiting for her words.

Gwaine raised his eye brows at Iwan, which was something which seemed to be happening quite a lot at the moment. Really the man had Gwaine all wrong. Just because he wooed many women didn’t mean that he didn’t respect them. No, he would never woo a woman he didn’t respect, and his attentions were only usually kept by said woman if she had something about her. “I do respect women.” He replied, rather insulted that Iwan could think otherwise. Gwaine did always respect the women he was wooing, he wasn’t like some men who would take without asking, no, Gwaine had more self-respect than that, and it was silly for Iwan to suggest otherwise. It was interesting how Iwan had only said ‘if’ he would woo a woman, implying that he never would. How terribly boring of him, he really had no idea what he was missing, and it was almost pitiful to watch. “If you woo a woman? Why, have you never done so before?” He asked rather smugly, sure that he already knew the answer to that.

It would have bothered Gwaine, being called a cad, if it weren’t true. He didn’t care what Iwan thought anymore in all truth, why should he care after all? Gwaine just shrugged at him, “Letting your hair down just means having a bit of fun.” He cocked his head to the side a little, “A word which is somewhat lacking in your vocabulary.” As harsh as it sounded, it was completely true. Nothing Iwan had done so far, or said, suggested he was a particularly fun person at all. He wasn’t even sure how Iwan fitted into the band of knights, they all enjoyed a laugh and a joke every now and again, but Iwan wouldn’t even smile at him. That was probably because he didn’t like him very much, but that wasn’t the point. He could at least make the effort couldn’t he?

Gwaine was on the verge of laughing, the thought of Iwan lying with one woman was amusing enough, without imagining a hundred women falling for his charms. He wondered for a moment if he was being insensitive, and if Iwan had had some sort of horrible experience with a woman and this had led him to his strange nature. He shook his head at Iwan’s last question, this conversation was far from over, “I feel like I’ve touched a nerve.” He observed, but it was more of a question because he wanted to know whether there was something which had caused Iwan to be so bloody miserable about women in general. The village was coming into view up ahead, and Gwaine gestured to it rather swiftly, “That’s it up ahead isn’t it?”

Though on the outside, Gwaine remained as cool as he usually y was, he could feel his gaze drifting to Elyan like a hawk would to it’s prey. He didn’t really like the idea of Elyan beating him at cards, it was hardly going to be an amazing start to the evening. He wanted to take control of this in a way and if Elyan won it would hardly start the evening off on the right footing. Also, as it was now just between him and Elyan it felt like there was more at stake. Gwaine wasn’t an amazing loser, and this wasn’t a great time to start. He watched as Elyan put his hand down after taking a swig of ale. It took him a few moments to realise that he had won, but his smug grin was already plastered on his face. He took his money from the table and grinned at the men, “Pleasure doing business with you all.” He smirked at Elyan, he didn’t really want to play again, mainly as he probably wasn’t going to have that good a win again. Gwaine was of course confident in his abilities, but he also didn’t want to look like an idiot, “Another game, or should I buy a round?” Gwaine asked, more to Elyan than the other drunks around the table, hopefully they wouldn’t want a drink as well. He wouldn’t be buying them one even if they did.

No, Gwaine was already losing interest in the card game and he stood up rather abruptly, he was already missing the comfort of women. A night with men was alright, but only if there was a woman there to liven it up. He winked at Elyan, gesturing for him to follow, he had won a game so he wasn’t intending to lose that streak. He could have his head held high and suchlike. Anyway, he could hear a lute in the other room, and that could only mean there was a jig going on. The jigs were usually in a dingy room, and the heat caused you to sweat through your shirt if you even thought about it. Gwaine loved a good dance in the tavern, because it was accompanied by ale, women and good music. It wasn’t dancing anyway, everyone just seemed to nod and weave around each other from time to time. “How are you at dancing my man?” He asked Elyan, clapping him on the back, “You’re in for a treat and a half.”

There couldn’t be much longer to go until they reached the village. Gwaine felt like he had spent a lifetime already in Iwan’s company, and it had only been an hour or so. Iwan just seemed to be constantly annoyed with him, and although he knew he wouldn’t exactly hit it off with the man, but he hadn’t expected it to be this bad. How irritating. It was hard to be cheery and jokey when Iwan was in such a bad mood all the time.

Damn, how had he already been sussed out? That was quite disappointing in a way and Gwaine just looked on at Iwan with a smug sort of smile. After all, Gwaine didn’t care if Iwan had figured out his little plan or not yet, he would still be implementing it. “Well, unless you think they’d fall for your charm over mine?” He asked with raised eye brows. He doubted Iwan would be able to extract information from the women in the same way he would. Really, Gwaine would leave no stone unturned, and Iwan should appreciate that fact. He wouldn’t allow himself to become distracted for very long, he was well aware they had a mission to complete, but he also couldn’t help wanting to try out a few of his charms and tricks on the locals.

The fact Iwan snapped shouldn’t have amused Gwaine so much. He probably enjoyed winding up his fellow knight a bit too much. Iwan just made it too easy and too enjoyable. He suppressed a laugh, mainly because he was a bit too amused that Iwan had said ‘libido’. Honestly, he really didn’t have a high opinion of him did he? If Gwaine cared, he would have tried to change Iwan’s opinion of him, but he didn’t, so he wouldn’t. “I control my libido, nothing control’s my particular impulses.” Heh, that made little sense, but he was just aiming to make Iwan feel as uncomfortable as he could manage. “So what controls you? Because it certainly isn’t your libido.” He asked rather curiously, seeing what other reactions he could pull from Iwan. He wouldn’t get this chance again anytime soon so he was taking full advantage of it now.

Well that was the reason he was so bloody uptight about everything. He was clearly just tense. All he needed was a woman to give him a night between the sheets, and he would be as right as rain, he might even smile. He just looked at Iwan, in an almost pitying way, did he know what he was missing? “Saving yourself for marriage eh?” Gwaine asked, nudging his arm in a jesting sort of way. He was trying to lighten the mood as well, while still winding Iwan up. Hmm, that wouldn’t work in the slightest and Iwan would end up hitting him. He took a step away just for his own protection, he could probably hold his own against Iwan, he was confident in his own abilities.

Gwaine wasn’t that happy about being called rubbish, but luckily he was in too much of a jovial mood to let it bother him too much. He knew Griff was going to be stressed and panicked, so he was just going to sit here and nod at his friend, because provoking him wasn’t going to help in the slightest was it?

Urgh. This wasn’t how Gwaine had imagined this to be at all. He was supposed to just sit here with Griff, and the man was supposed to be strong, and hold it together. Gwaine pressed his lips together, and looked across at his friend, quite at a loss on what to say. For a few moments, he wasn’t thinking about the screaming woman in the room opposite them. His thoughts were cast back to his own parents. He wondered if his father had been this nervous, or excited when he had been born. He’d never really known his father, he had vague memories of being taught the way of the sword by someone, but that could have been anyone. He was sure his father would have taken care of him, and his whole family, he just hadn’t been given the chance. The Spirit’s had seen fit to take him from the earth, and Gwaine had been left on his own. He didn’t voice any of this to Griff of course, Jesu, the man really had enough to deal with right now didn’t he? For a few moments Gwaine wasn’t sure what to say at all, he just looked down at the floor, trying to block out the woman’s cries. He could understand why Griff was so afraid, because he could go from having everything to nothing in a few hours, and Gwaine knew the issues with women and childbirth, especially if it was the mother’s first birth. “Everything will be fine Griff.” He was trying to sound assertive, and sure but he obviously couldn’t say anything with complete certainty. He had no idea if Griff’s wife and child would be fine. All they could do was hope and pray. “You’ll have a healthy baby, and your wife...your wife will be fine, absolutely just fine.” Gwaine often found he was the last person anyone called upon to give advice in such situations, and this was one of the first times he had. Griff was his friend though, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Gwaine stood up now and went over to his friend, putting a hand on his shoulder in what he assumed would be interpreted to be supportive. Sort of. This was all new and strange, but Gwaine was taking it on with open arms. Griff still wasn’t any calmer as he spoke about his wife again. Somehow Gwaine wished he had some sort of magic words, though not magic obviously, just to make this seem more bearable for his friend. “Look, you’re not going to lose anything. You’ll have your baby, and your wife, and whatever fun comes with that.” He managed a grin at his friend and clapped him on the shoulder, a little gentler than he usually would, “And in a few months we’ll be laughing about this moment when you’re begging me to give you a few moments of respite from your family.” He winked at his friend, because he knew that wife’s could be very draining things, and that was why there were always so many married men in the taverns.

It struck Gwaine, as Griff spoke, that he must love his wife a great deal. Heh, well he’d suspected he’d loved the woman when he’d found the man drunken in that tavern. Jesu that felt like a lifetime ago now. He just nodded at the man’s words, he supposed it was too late for him to tell his wife he was worried about all of this. She was rather indisposed. He chuckled along with his friend, that was no to Mini Griff then, at least Griff was at least making an effort to look happy. He was having a baby, he had every reason to be happy. “Everything will be fine.” He said again, because if he kept telling Griff that then maybe he would believe it. “Well perhaps we should start thinking of other names, and by we I mean you.” He winked back at Griff and then looked back at the door, “How long does this usually take?” He had no ideas of the complications which went along with women who were giving birth, but it was the middle of the night, and if they were going to be here for hours he’d rather know about it now.

In a way Gwaine was insulted at the tone in Iwan’s tone when he spoke about the plan he had suggested. Honestly, he wasn’t just a knight because of his good looks, though that did help quite a lot. Gwaine knew how to handle situations like this, sort of. Iwan probably hadn’t realised that Gwaine was going to use this to see what the villages had to offer in terms of women. He would make sure he questioned all the women who were distressed of course, so he could offer them a shoulder to cry on. Heh, he was already forming the scene in his head, but Iwan didn’t need to know any of that, because at the moment he was enjoying the smug feeling that Iwan’s words had given him. “Well what else did you expect?” Gwaine asked him with a raised eye brow and chuckled softly, “We’re nearly there anyway, we should question the villagers then just form a plan from that, then it’s less of a suicide mission, don’t you think?”

Gwaine was still confused, what man didn’t want a woman to find him attractive? For a moment he thought that Iwan could just be winding him up for the sake of it. But he couldn’t see any sense of jest in his face. He was being serious? Bloody hell. He stopped for a moment and just looked at Iwan with a look of genuine shock, “Why on earth wouldn’t you want a woman to find you attractive?” He was struggling to get his head around this. There was nothing better than a woman to warm your bed at the end of the day, and though Gwaine wasn’t in the habit of deflowering women for fun, he still had his days off. Iwan was starting to intrigue him, which wasn’t a good thing for the man in general because he just didn’t seem to make sense in the slightest.

Gwaine, in truth, just wanted to stand and laugh at Iwan’s reaction to his words. He’d never seen anyone look so insulted at being forced to spend a night between the sheets with a young woman. He might even enjoy himself. Maybe he was just nervous, after all, he probably hadn’t had any experiences with women before this point. Maybe he never would, well that would be shame wouldn’t it. “Have you ever had a woman before?” He asked rather crudely, but he was actually interested to see if Iwan’s fear’s about women was because of some sort of experience, or whether he really wasn’t interested.