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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 16, 2011 15:02:06 GMT -5
Yassia wasn’t all that sad the conversation part of poisoning guards and all the like seemed to be past them now, as she had become more and more uncomfortable with it. She had suggested things in the spur of the moment she knew shouldn’t see the light of day. A certain face in her mind had made her speak such mischievous things, and if it made her act so much out of line, maybe it wasn’t good to think of him so often? And yet Yassia could not deny the impact he had on her life, at least her nomad life. He was inseparably connected with this life now, and so when she said goodbye to Yassia the nomad tonight, she might as well say goodbye to him… and honor him with one last act of rememberance. From this day on, she would only allow herself to think of him in dire hours, when she needed to cling to hope. He had no place in her conscious mind, he could not have. And that was also why she should not let herself be distracted from the imminent present now. She was talking to Celyn, and it would be unfair towards him to keep thinking of things that had nothing to do with him.
Then again, it seemed like he was a little in thoughts as well.Yassia had no idea what might have triggered it, or where his thoughts were exactly headed, but what she did know was that it was not her place to pry. He might be thinking of his past travels or the still coming ones for all she knew. He surely must have seen a lot, like she herself had. ”May I ask you where you have been already? I mostly travelled north from the shore, so everything beyond Camelot in that direction is still a blank spot on the map for me. Have you been to Escetia? Then again, I hope for you you haven’t… it’s not the nicest place on earth.” Yassia herself had not even meant to go there, she had crossed the borders out of accident… but that hadn’t saved her in the end.
She saw in his eyes how he tried to process what she had been presenting him without words, and she could tell the exact moment when the things finally fell into place in his mind, it was almost funny to watch. That didn’t ease her tension however, she was still balancing on a very shaky and narrow limb. Any moment he could show his true face, call his guards so they could drag her out of the tavern under false pretenses – depending on how sober they still were to do it, but she rather not relied on that too much – or do anything else that would bring her under his control, and then her game would be over. But gladly, Celyn seemed rather amused than shocked or intrigued in a wrong way, he even had the nerve to tease her, taking her words literally and repeating his question. Letting go a sigh that was more relief than annoyance, Yassia rolled her eyes and hid the ring in her bodice again.
”Prat”, she murmured, but couldn’t quite hide a smile. She hadn’t wanted to speak the words out loud, but somehow now she had to. “Quite a coincidence, finding yourself in royal company, don’t you think?” Raising her tankard again, she gave a mock toast. “To the twisted and amusing ways of happenstance.”
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 15, 2011 16:26:53 GMT -5
"I didn't have the heart to just leave you there all hurt and in pain because of my incompetence. I had to help you."
Well, what had she been expecting, really? Back then, in the forest in had seemed like a happenstance forged by the stars that she had been hit by his arrow, something she didn’t understand for now but soon would. At the end of the night, she had though it to be a signal from the stars that there were men in this world who could love her, that her fate was not without hope. But now? They had met again, and it had not brought them together, but even further apart. Could that have been meant all along? Where was the sense in that? Only to cause her more pain, throw more difficulties on her already overloaded plate? Ruefully she thought back on that one second, when she had wished on a star to meet him again: No matter the time, no matter the circumstances… well that had worked out well indeed. What was the old saying? Be careful what you wish for… her father had been right all along. What she had seen in Oliver had been wishful thinking, even back then he had only been driven by his guilty conscience and maybe by the spur of the moment. He was a man, she was a woman – how foolish of her to think of love, no matter what they had said to each other!
”Well… I saw you had a noble heart from the start”, she mused, her voice not bitter but a little resigned. “I’ve been blind to not read the signs, seeing you for who you really were. Could have spared me a lot of trouble.” Oh yes, a lot of trouble indeed. She had lost a year, a year of waiting and hoping, a year where her uncle could tighten his grip on Ailantha and further make it his own, working to make her people forget there had been any other claiming the throne. And she had lost Oliver… because of her own cowardice. Instead of preserving the present, she should have worked towards the futute. And now it was too late.
But if he thought so little of their time together, why did he always bring it up again? Why keep tormenting them both? Hadn’t he been the one to draw a line, hadn’t he been the one saying they should act as if they never met? And yet he once again mentioned the Olive tree… ”Yes”, she replied softly, unable to stay nonchalant. There was just too much that time could not erase, however hard they all tried. “And the thistle… look, how she’s stinging you yet again.” She pointed to her hand still pressing the moss to his wound. Letting go a sigh, she tugged a strand of hair behind her ear to buy time, until she could decide what to answer to his unexpected revellation. Edmund had meant to impress her? Why on earth? Ans why with such means? ”Well, then he is even more foolish than you are, because I’m surely not impressed by the mess he created here”, she told him matter-of-factly, shrugging. “Nearly staking his own brother, he thinks that will get him in my good books? What a twisted mindset!”
Of course she knew Edmund had not meant to injure Oliver at all, but she still couldn’t quite fight down her irritation. She had told Oliver before that she didn’t strive to be impressed or fawned over, and this was just another example. Just an inch more to the left or a little deeper, and she now would not treat Oliver, but mourn him. All this for a little good impression? That was surely not worth it! She didn’t have much time to think more about these things however, for Oliver’s next proposal left her quite speechless. After all he had said about her, after all he had done, he was still willing to help her? Or would he only do it, so she would vanish faster from his life? No… she simply could not accuse him of such base motives! ”Thank you…” It was no more but a whisper, and she couldn’t help but hold his gaze, wondering if the tenderness she saw there was true. “But the priority is now for you to rest and get well again. Nothing could be more important than that, certainly not I.” Why was she saying that? Couldn’t she even trust her own tongue anymore? That was not the distance they had both agreed on!
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 14, 2011 9:28:21 GMT -5
"No, it won't. I want things to stay this way. I will always remember you--us, this way." Yes… it was better this way. However much it pained Yassia that Oliver never would get to know her true self, she knew it was less complicated and therefore better if Oliver would always remember her as Yassia, the nomad, nothing else and nothing more. She for herself knew that she would get strength out of the pain she would feel in leaving him. She would take the knowledge out if this encounter that there were good men in this world, men that would help her without looking for personal gain, men she could love. Maybe, if the stars were gracious, she would be able to find someone like him again, a man with a noble heart that was accompanied by a noble title as well. Oh how she wished this would be of no consequence! But a huntsman, however noble he might be in his heart, was not fit to rule a kingdom. He might learn, but time was not her friend. If things were different, this could have worked out eventually, because Yassia was more than ever inclined to overlook status issues now, after she had nearly finished her insightful and revealing journey. But in her fragile state with her life and the fate of her kingdom in constant peril, she could not allow herself any extravagance.
“I will always keep you in my heart like this, Oliver”, she whispered back with a smile. “Chasing cockatrices and fair maidens through the woods, always cheery and audacious. I know there is more to you than just that, don’t think I’ll reduce you to it, but this is the picture that will make me smile.”
Yassia had felt a little embarrassed to let her devastation show so openly, an unease beaten into her by years and years of growing up in a very manners-focused environment. It was peculiar how the Ailanthan people, more often than not cursed with a hot temper and a lust for life, chose to encage their nobility into this tight corslet of manners and proper, settled behavior. Or maybe that was exactly why they did it… to rein themselves in, work against their own nature. Whatever the reason, it had made Yassia very self-conscious about what she let show, always feeling like their were critical eyes upon her, even in a place such as this. But Oliver didn’t seem to take offense. He was there, was strong when she was weak, just like he had been before with her wound. She could lean on him, and so that was what she did, until she could find her composure again. “Then it must be enough for me, too”, she whispered, blinking back more tears while she felt his soothing presence and the sweet kiss making it all at least a little better. "I sleep tonight knowing tomorrow will be a better day. Sure, we'll both go on our separate ways and it will tear me to pieces, but I will take strength in the knowledge that you are mine as I am yours...even just for one night." His sincerity was so heartbreaking and sweet at the same time, Yassia felt like she could not breathe. So that was how it felt to have something end that had not even begun. Would losing something that HAD been in existence even hurt more? Could anything hurt more? And yet there was solace in it too, however impossible it seemed. There was hope for another life. Yassia did not know what to say, and so she merely sealed their agreement with another kiss. But then she felt the fatigue creeping onto her with undeniable force, and also her wound started to throb again. A moment before she had been able to crowd it all out, but not anymore.
“I think… we should get some sleep now”, she murmured against his chest. “I don’t want this night to end, but I know it has to… and we both need our strength. For tomorrow”Tomorrow… whenever had a word held such pain and dark foreboding? But time could not be hold up forever, it was the course of life to let go.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 13, 2011 13:29:36 GMT -5
Oliver seemed oddly quiet and composed, some character trait she had not experienced with him very often. Whether they had been teasing or insulting each other, there had always been vivid talking and action going on; this was something new for Yassia and she was not sure yet what to make of it. Maybe that came with their mutual agreement of trying to keep their distance. Silence probably was the best means to uphold said distance, as any conversation so far had brought them close, whether they liked it or not. And yet, it was not a thick silence, it might be a bit awkward, but that was about it, and awkwardness under these circumstances was perfectly normal. Then Oliver replied and saved her from overthinking this encounter too much.
"I don't mind being staked by my brother. What I meant was you yourself, you don't have to do this. Marcus can just as well treat a small wound by himself." These words surprised her not just a little. So now he suddenly cared about her discomfort? Hadn’t he made it more than clear that she deserved everything that was thrown her way? Wasn’t she a two-faced harlot, a liar and a player, who would readily suck the marrow out of everyone who dared to come too close? But maybe that was the truth behind his words after all, he was too polite to tell her to go straight away, so he sugar-coated it with concern. Now, who was the two-faced one? She opened her mouth to give a rather stern reply, when he suddenly reached for her hand. She gasped a little, but she didn’t retract. Now… what?! He had just made her new-found resolution collapse again like a house of cards. If he wanted her to go, why did he take her hand? Why did he want to touch her again anyway? And… he had called her beautiful. Stop this, Oliver… stop playing games with me…
“It’s what everyone should do who has the means”, she warded off his praise rather awkwardly. “I couldn’t very well stand by. Besides… you did the same for me, even though you weren’t sure you could do it. That is worth far more.” When she was working on his shirt, Yassia subconsciously held her breath along with him, forcing her hand to work as steady as it actually could. For a completely crazy moment, she imagined herself in a different situation, also with a knife in hand. She remembered how she had thrown the dagger at him the other day, in that split second really willing to hurt him, if not kill him. She had been completely consumed by anger and hurt, and it could have happened in the blink of an eye. And now he was at her mercy once again. She could make him pay, inflict the same pain on him he had inflicted on her, if not with a real blade. But as she looked at him, completely composed, trusting her with his life, even though he knew what he had done, she knew she was crazy for even considering it. The moment passed, and she was glad it was gone.
"Why? You think I'd--AAWW!" Had Oliver not been in so much pain, Yassia probably would have laughed about so much false bravery. But that could come later. In the moment Oliver’s distress was far more important. She had been prepared for him rearing up, her left hand holding his other shoulder down the minute her right hand had afflicted the moss, but he only tensed and slammed his head back. “Shhh… “ she crooned, but then a slight smile crept over her lips and she chuckled. „Why do men never listen? I told you to grit your teeth for a reason. I’m sorry it hurt so much, but it’s necessary.” For some reason she could not explain, her left hand still lingered on his shoulder, even though she knew he would not rear. Yass… had he ever called her by this nickname? If so, she could not remember, and it felt oddly wrong and right at the same time. There was something in his eyes, a pleading that called her to hold his gaze for longer than she probably should have.
“Do you think you deserve me going easy on you, Olivier?”, she asked, sounding his name in her own tongue for another hazy reason. “Foolish boy that you are… you could have gotten yourself killed!” She had not meant to sound so concerned an monishing, she had meant to say anything along that line at all. But somehow she had… and it confused her probably even more than it would confuse him.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 12, 2011 13:10:49 GMT -5
“I do wish to know more about you, Yassia,” His words engulfed her in a completely peculiar and uneasy feeling. It seemed to be happiness mixed with sadness, in the oddest and sweetest painful mix she had ever experienced. He wanted to know more about her, he was that much interested in her. And yet she could tell him no more, and the tone of his voice also suggested that he thought it futile. There was no future for them, not like this. For Yassia was no nomad, she could never allow herself to fall for a huntsman. This had nothing to do with overdeveloped class conceit, but even if she found military help in Camelot where she sought to find it, returning with a commoner as her future husband would give her uncle the weapon he needed to strike her down: that she was obviously not capable of ruling a kingdom if she could not even find a decent husband for herself, which he himself had done long before: his own son. She did not have time for love in her life right now.
And yet, in this very moment, Yassia was as close to tell him who she really was like never before. Oliver seemed to have that effect on her, she simply could not resist him. It was a dangerous game she was playing, but she was helpless. ”I…”… she started to say and in her head the words made perfect sense. ‘I am a princess, Oliver, and don’t laugh at me, because I have proof. I might seem like a nomad, but I am just a wanderer with a clear destination. Camelot.’ Yes, perfectly logical and honest, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she knew she could not do it. Telling him now who she was would end this wonderful moment they shared right here and there, because he would be too shocked. He would not be able to deal with the fact he had just been kissing a princess, he would seek distance. And she could not bear the thought of distance, not when they were to separate the next morning anyway. And so she finished the sentence in the same sad tone. “…I would like to know more about you too. But I don’t think it would change anything.”
Yassia had no idea if her wishing on a star had had any effect on her fate. The stars did not have to answer to a plea, they were a timeless, ultimate might, and the petty wishes of humans seldomly fazed them. She only could hope for the best. That was another thing her father once had told her: The one doing the wish had no way of knowing if the call had been answered, maybe the ones effected by it would feel some sense of foreboding, but most people were too closed in themselves or to occupied with other things to pay heed to such a sentiment. Abandoning the thought of it for now, she focused on their passionate and hungry kiss again, seeking to drink in every last bit of this overwhelming feeling. She dared to get bolder, and tentatively brought his upper lip between her teeth, teasingly nibbling on it, before she let go of it again to open up to him more.
What she saw in his eyes when he pulled back was indescribable, it was not even completely to be processed in her head. She could not think about it, just feel it, this longing and exuberant love. And she responded with the same gaze, as if trying to imprint every detail of him on her memory for all time to come. The stars were fickle creatures, maybe when they met again it would be in disguise, in a situation they had not foreseen. But now, after looking at him like that, she was sure she would recognize him in every disguise, under a thousand people. And then he asked her… asked her the unthinkable. He had made it a ‘what if’ question and they both knew it would never come so far, but the mere possibility made her breath catch in her throat. Wasn’t that exactly what she had dreamed of? When you thought about it like that, the answer was not even that difficult. If only…
”Oh Oliver…”, suddenly she felt a lump rising up in her throat that made it hard to swallow and tears began to burn behind her eyes. Why were the stars so cruel?! “If I only could…”, she whispered and bit her lip hard. “I would… without a second of hesitation. You and me, it would be perfect… but it can’t be…”
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 12, 2011 10:48:35 GMT -5
As soon as Marcus vanished behind the screen, the knot in Yassia’s stomach tightened considerably. He might only be out of sight, but he also was a little out of earshot, which meant she was practically alone with Oliver… yet again, even though after their last encounter it hadn’t seemed like that would never be the case again. What was fate thinking throwing this obstacle in both their ways now, just as they were starting to settle down apart from each other? But who was she fooling, such things didn’t work out inside a day. It probably would take long for her to truly forget Oliver, and longer than her stay in Mercia would be anyway. The best thing for both of them would be the classical ‘out of sight, out of mind’ – and yet that didn’t work out at all. Right in the moment when their raw wounds started to close a little,something happened to tear them open again, making them bleed again. Being mistreated like this, these wounds were sure to leave nasty scars, instead of healing properly. So what was she doing here? Why had she felt this great urge to be the one to treat him? Was it only because the heart was truly slow to learn? Or was it some twisted way of the stars pushin her into this direction? Yassia could never really tell the way of the stars, her own lifestory had become too confusing to see a clear-set path in it.
But she also could not stand around idly and curse her fate. No matter what Oliver had done to her, he needed her help now, and she would give it. If only to repay him for once saving her own life. The situation now was not so dire, but she was under impression she already had paid part of her dues by being so mistreated by him anyway. Gathering the little pads of white moss, she put them next to his head, so she would have them ready, and tried to force a neutral smile on her face. It was hard. Oliver always had this dizzying effect on her which ended with her wanting to beam like two suns at the same time, she simply could not help it. Only the reminiscence of him calling her a two-faced harlot managed to keep that smile down.
It was obvious he was in too much pain to move much, and Yassia remembered the feeling all too well. Impulsively, he hand reached out to his other shoulder to keep him down, but as soon as her fingers made contact, she retracted them again as if she had been burned. What was she doing?! ”Alright, keep down”, she sighed. “We will have to do this a different way.” To stop the bleeding it was best if he was still lying down anyway, only later for the cleaning and dressing of the wound, he would have to sit up. For a short moment Yassia really debated if she should call Marcus, as what she was about to do was so unseemly for a woman. She should not even be present when a man that was neither her brother nor husband was topless, and she surely should not be the one undressing him! But then, she was a healer, and her mother had told her countless times that you could not waste any thoughts on courteous behavior once you had a patient.
”As Marcus is occupied right now, I will do it”, Yassia told Oliver matter-of-factly, trying desperately to sound as if this meant nothing to her at all. Gladly he hand didn’t tremble as she took a knife from her belt, the very same knife he had cut the arrow out with. ”You should have thought about that before you let yourself being staked by your brother”, she said, but her tone was not sharp, even a little teasing. He just had this way of getting under her skin… as soon as he called her ‘Yassia’. It was his personal siren’s call, and she had never been able to resist it. ”Now, keep very still, breathe only shallow, I don’t want to slice you”, she murmured as she placed the blade to the tear in his shirt, lifting it off the wound so she would not get in close proximity to his skin. Once she had broadened the gab enough, she pulled with more force and with a distinctive ripping sound the shirt came apart, revealing his muscular chest.
”Grit your teeth”, she warned softly, then pressed the pads of white moss to his wound.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 11, 2011 17:36:58 GMT -5
Everything was going to be alright. Of course it would. She shouldn’t fear for him so much, she shouldn’t fear for him at all! Oliver had rejected her, had insulted her in the meanest of ways, and Yassia had sworn to herself she would never forgive him. And she would not. But these were exceptional circumstances, were they not? He was injured, he needed her help. She would do the same to anyone, like for example for Edmund, there was nothing special to her care. And yet, why had her heart nearly stopped when she saw him falling to the ground? Would it have stopped the same way for any other? She tried to tell herself so, but she was not very succesful with it. Oliver’s chuckle futher reassured her that he would be alright soon. It was more a question of his wound getting infected than a serious damage. To hinder that, they would have to clean it soon, but that was better done inside, in an infirmary.
Avoiding the questioning and astonished gazes she was getting from all around – clearly, they had not imagined she could be anything else but a pretty face – Yassia then turned to Lady Adelaide. Now Oliver was taken care of the best way there could be for now, she knew she had to look after the witnesses of this accident. Edmund seemed rather shocked himself, but he would cope fine. Lady Adelaide however looked worried and helpless, and Yassia wanted to reassure her. It pained her to see the strong and kind woman so distressed. ”He will be fine”, she said firmly with a reassuring smile playing around her lips, and she quickly squeezed Lady Adelaid’s arm. “He’s a strong young man and the cut is not too deep. The one thing that could endanger him now is an infection coming from the blade itself, but we’re working against that. You can see him soon, I promise.”
With that, Yassia turned and hurried after the stretcher, her mind already running two miles a minute, and sadly not only occupied with the task of healing, but with the patient himself. Her own reaction had deeply disturbed her, and now she had a little time to try and think about it. If her animosity and anger could have been brushed away so easily at the sign of danger, was it really running so deep then? And shouldn’t it run deeper? It was a crime to not help those in need, but as soon as the court physician had arrived she should have stepped back like he asked her to. This was not her place, it shouldn’t be. And yet she couldn’t shake off the yearning to be at his side. It was all too confusing, two emotions and wills battling inside her, and none could really win out. Or if it did something told her it was the wrong decision. Would there be even a right decision in all of this? Maybe it was two wrongs all along, and she could only choose the lesser evil. What would be the lesser evil? Simply too many question and too little answers, even though she didn’t have neither the nerves nor the time for any of this. She had a patient to take care of. Oliver…
She was gladly forced back into the here and now by Marcus, the physician, who addressed her as soon as the knights had settled the stretcher with Oliver down on a table that seemed just made for such kind of incidents. ”Do not worry, I do have a fair amount of white moss with me”, she told him with a tense smile, being reminded about the reason for this fact. After her incident with Oliver, she had made sure to have enough white moss tugged away in her medicine bag, just to be prepared for anything. “It’s in my medicine bag which should be here any—“ A tentative knock interrupted them and as Yassia opened it, a servant girl shyly presented her the very needed medicine bag. With a thankful smile she took it and started to unpack the marten hide with its many pouches and pieces of cloth that could be used for bandages.
Taking one particularly large pouch, she poured pieces of white moss into her hand and walked over to where Oliver was. “Can you remove your shirt?” she asked, trying hard not to blush. “It’ll make things easier.” Easier for him maybe, but oh so not easier for herself. Only in some of her very scandalous and ridiculous daydreams, she has seen any of this, not in reality. To distract herself from a so very topless Oliver, she then turned to Marcus again. ”As you said, the cut is not too deep, so I don’t think we need comfrey. Do you have marigold blossoms? I have dried ones but they are better fresh – as you probably know very well”, she finished with a little nervous laugh. Hopefully he wouldn’t feel patronized by her! “I use a decoction of marigold blossoms to disinfect wounds, it’s far less painful than alcohol.” Even after all this time, the reminiscence of the pain could still make her pucker up her face and wince.
The physician smiled reassuringly. "Indeed I do have fresh marigold blossoms. Who knows what made me gather them this morning. I'll prepare the decoction, and I'll be behind that screen over there if you need me." He bowed his head and vanished out of sight, which left Yassia with no other choice than to return her attention to her patient.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 9, 2011 9:54:57 GMT -5
Yassia inclined her head with a polite smile, but her eyes shone bright, telling how much she looked forward to this idea. Even if she had to disclose a few things in her heart so Lady Adelaide could never know and best also never even guess what Yassia was truly feeling, it surely would be a wonderful experience to talk with this woman and Caitrin. It was long since Yassia last had talked with a woman of Lady Adelaide’s renown and obvious wisdom. Talking to ladies of her age, even talking to Caitrin was just not the same. ”Then I will tell her as well, and the day after tomorrow sounds good to me!” There was nothing planned for this day yet as far as Yassia could tell, apart from maybe the odd rideout or other sociable pastime. Ever since having settled down somewhere again, Yassia had found it peculiar how many idle hours a day could actually contain if you didn’t spend them covering the road.
She wondered if her strong denial had been a little too much, too obvious in showing that she did not care spending time with Oliver? That could not be, they both needed to act as if nothing had ever passed between them, no animosities, no nothing. If she kept on keeping too much of a distance from him, that could arouse some questions too, yes? Laughing and shaking her head about the ‘resilient damsel’, she said: “Well, yes, I certainly got a glimpse from what the world looks like outside the ivory tower. Actually… why not? I don’t think it could hurt. Maybe I’ll ask him myself.” Oh treacherous heart indeed! She could try to tell herself she was only trying to appear neutral all she wanted, Yassia knew very well that she still was succumbing to the idle dream pictures she had conjured in her mind. Spending more time with Oliver… getting close to him again – oh what a pathetic creature she was!
In hindsight, Yassia could not even remember the few seconds it had taken her to rush to Oliver’s side and beg him to wake up. But as the shock died down, she realized herself again, and nearly gasped, thinking what she just had done. But there was no turning back now, and Oliver needed her help. The decreasing panic also helped her healer mind to kick in fully now, and she realized that Oliver’s wound gladly was not as life-threatening as she first had thought. The blood was not coming in waves from his body, it was a mere steady trickle as the sword had not sliced too deep. Tearing to wide the slice in his tunic the sword had already caused, she exposed the wound and pressed the torn fabric of her sleeve on it. White moss… she needed white moss! ”Somebody get my medicine bag, it’s in my room on the bed”, she called anyone who would feel inclined to follow this command, just as she heard the commanding voice of the physician coming closer.
Everyone immediately yielded to his commanding tone and took a few steps back, but Yassia stayed where she was, as Oliver just opened his eyes and addressed her. "Yassia?""What are you...? Why...?" His voice was full of amazement, and there was nothing of the scorn he usually felt for her. It was like these things had never happened between them at all, it was like not a day had passed since their parting in the woods. Oh if only that could be true! ”Shh… don’t speak”, she murmured gently. “You’re gonna be up and kicking again soon!” In this moment, she had dropped all her guard as she was too worried for him to hold it up. He was Oliver, she was Yassia… nothing more and nothing less, just like it had been in the Forest of Balor – only then with him bending over her, seriously wounded.
But then someone was invading the little bubble that had formed around her and Oliver. It was the physician again, demanding her to step aside and let the others ‘take over’. Her first reaction was as impulsive as it was probably wrong. “No!” Realizing her slip, she fought back a blush and hastily moved to her feet, trying to regain a little of her dignity by smoothening out her dress. Then she held her head high, her voice subconsciously adopting that one certain regal tone she had been raised with, which did not allow any opposition. ”I mean: No, please let me come with you. I am not only a princess, I am a healer, taught by my mother from a very young age. I have treated such wounds before, please let me be of assistance. I cannot stand by and do nothing… it is in my blood.” It might be so that her upbringing might not let her stay behind with everyone else, including Lady Adelaide who surely now needed consolation, but it was as good an excuse as any for the truth: This was not any man lying there on the stretcher, it was Oliver, and Yassia would only be at peace as long as she assured with her own eyes and hands that he would be fine.
That he still felt the need to prove himself was a good sign indeed, and Yassia dared a little smile. “Enough stupid bravery for one day, my prince. Please keep down.” Then she turned to Lady Adelaide and Prince Edmund, bowing her head. “With your kind permission as well, I would like to help your son and your brother.” But without waiting for their approval, her eyes already followed the men that carried Oliver inside.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 4, 2011 17:07:11 GMT -5
"Oh, you're worth waiting for, Princess," Alright, so it wasn’t the most imaginative comment in the world, but it was at least something heartfelt, and Yassia was in quite the mood to count her blessings after what had just come to pass. So at least someone around her appreciated her presence, that was good to know. Accepting the bow with another gracious inclining of her head, Yassia replied: “That is good to know, but should never be a valid excuse for tardiness. I vow to be better in the future.” Words. Empty words, as empty as she felt inside. But she had to play along, for all it was worth. For all they knew, she was nothing but excited about this journey and just held back her joyous mood for means of courteousness. And she hoped that her efforts were convincing at least for those who didn’t know the truth.
It was hard to meet Caitrin’s eyes especially. Caitrin knew her too well, she could read her like a book sometimes, and it should be evident for her that Yassia had not had the best night after their conversation. But her injust lashing out at her friend also was still fresh in her mind, and so she shied away from burdening her even more. "We decided to meet you all here, it made sense after all. I hope that is not a problem?" A problem?! Yassia gave a little chuckle at that, though it was not as merry as intended, even had a slight bitter edge. Caitrin being here was truly a gift of the stars, even though they were not really generous to her in general right now. Seeing her friend was at least diverting part of her attention from those she did or did not want attention from. If she only could have acted like she wanted, she probably would have pulled Caitrin in a desperate hug and never let go. But she had to appear strong. No flaws when you’re pretending. ”It is not a problem at all!” she assured in an overly cheery voice, but then dropped it to a level where only Caitrin would be able to hear her. “Thank the stars you’re here… I desperately crave sanity, and you can provide it by distracting me. Please…”
Yassia was gladly pulled from her attack of desperation when she saw Arthur coming down to see the party off. How sweet of him indeed! She smiled politely as he said goodbye to Oliver and his family and just waited patiently for her turn. Time to take up the brave show again! Like the perfect princess she expressed her gratitude to him and her hopes that he would find his new duties not too demanding. In the back of her mind, she still knew that once she got back from Mercia she would probably have to bring up her own problems again, but now was neither the time nor the place. With another curtsy and a bright smile she said her own goodbyes, asking him to pass on some greetings to her uncle Sir Kaye. The older man had apparently not managed to shake off the festivities quite so well, and had been confined to bed.
Then she stepped back and returned to Caitrin’s side, letting her gaze wander over the little party while being overcome by a strange feeling: she wanted to go as soon as possible and yet she wanted to stay. But the starting of the journey was not her call, she was only a guest, welcomed by some, but only tolerated by others.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 4, 2011 16:06:02 GMT -5
Yassia gave a light chuckle as Lady Adelaide mentioned the ‘things women talk about’. It made her think back on a conversation now almost a year ago she had had with Caitrin.They had sounded off together against the typical women tasks like needlework, even though Yassia was not as opposed to them as Caitrin had appeared to be. They had sworn a solemn vow that they would kill each other before their lives became so dull stitching patterns was all they could talk about with each other, and even though it had been sounded only in jest, Yassia still would never let this subject come up between them as long as she could help it. ”That sounds wonderful to me”, she assured warmly, “and I really do hope we will be granted that time. Lady Caitrin will be most welcome to it, shall I ask her to join us when we have a set time, or do you want to ask her yourself?” Hopefully there would really be little needlework involved or else Caitrin might consider declining that honor. On the other hand, if Caitrin was absent, Yassia feared to be interrogated about the wrong kinds of things, especially including her fancy of men, without having a friend near that knew about her situation and could steer the conversation to less painful topics. Even though Yassia felt like she could trust Lady Adelaide with more than her life and maybe her innermost thoughts, she had promised Oliver to keep their encounter a secret. She would honor this promise, because she had her pride!
Even though she knew most of it, Yassia couldn’t help but be all ears as Lady Adelaide told her more about Oliver. It was like she was acting under duress, like being coaxed by a drug, she just drank every information about Oliver in like her life depended on it – which was ridiculous of course; it only enforced the pain. Since when had she become such a masochist? Nearly gasping in shock, she turned it skilfully into a little laugh, shaking her head. Learning from Oliver? Spending even more time with him? The treacherous part of her, the one that refused to forget him jubilated at the sheer thought, but she knew she could not do this. She had lost the right to that the moment he rejected her, for whatever twisted reason. She had vowed to herself she would not run after him, beg him to love her again, and if she didn’t honor this vow, she could as well forgo her whole pride. ”It is sweet of you to suggest that, Mylady, but I fear I might be hopeless.” She was lying now, openly lying for her poor heart’s sake. Throwing daggers like she had learned from her brother and later stepbrother demanded skill and a good aim as well. She probably wouldn’t even be that bad in archery.
Still, Oliver’s mother had done it now, and while Yassia still stried to focus on the fight, she could not shake off the images that unbiddenly crept into her mind. First she saw the adorable picture of Oliver teaching a few boys the basics of archery while they looked up to him in awe. He was good with children apparently… another side of him she hadn’t known. Slowly though that picture altered and she suddenly saw herself with him on a meadow, trying to hold a bow, while he laughed at her efforts and suddenly stepped behind her… A loud gasp snapped her out of her ridiculous reverie, and when she focused her eyes on the field again, she saw that the air of the fight had somehow changed. Where before there had been reckless but still good-natured bantering, now there seemed to be solid determination. Edmund’s blows came as quick and vicious as the attacks of a poisonous snake, and Oliver was all but cornered, barely holding up. What had happened here?
Yassia’s right hand balled into a tight fist and she held her breath, feeling something like dread creeping onto her without even knowing why. Something was afoot. Something horrible, and all she could do was watch. Again and again Edmund’s sword came down on Oliver and twice he only escaped by a hair’s breath ”What are they doing?!” she exclaimed to no one in particular, “this is…” Her further words drowned in another gasp from the audience that was itself cut short by a pained outcry – coming from Oliver! At first, Yassia was too shocked to even move; like rooted on the spot she watched as Oliver staggered backwards and fell, and even before he hit the ground, Yassia saw blood seeping through the fabric of his tunic. For her it seemed like he fell in slow motion, horribly decelerated like this was not real, but a nightmare. But the moment he hit the ground, the full impact of the incident caught up with Yassia. Forgetting all vows of secrecy, forgetting her pride and even forgetting all countenance, she rushed forward, past the shocked knights and a startled Edmund, crying out: “OLIVER!!!!”
Dropping to her knees beside him, she took his head up in her hands, feeling his wonderful locks between her fingers. But she had no time for nostalgia now. Her healer eyes skilfully estimated the situation. Much blood, but not too much to make it lethal. The blade had missed the heart by inches, thank the stars! Striking lightly on Oliver’s cheek, she urged him: “Can you hear me? Wake up… oh please wake up!” The next would be stilling the bloodflow. As it was already stained by Oliver’s blood, Yassia ripped one of the long trails of her sleeve off without further ado. She had all but forgotten about her surroundings, there was only Oliver for now.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 4, 2011 11:51:55 GMT -5
Lady Adelaide’s words sent a warm shiver down Yassia’s spine. She had been given so much already, kindness and the offer of friendship above everything else, but this was more. It was almost like the ultimate accolade, coming from the woman she had so much admiration for. Yassia didn’t think she had heard that from anyone before, someone wishing to have a daughter just like her, and it made the moment all the more special. As she hadn’t been prepared for this kind of compliment, coming so sudden and yet so natural, Yassia couldn’t help the blush that tinted her cheeks. ”Well, I think I am far from being anyone’s ideal daughter”, she sighed and gave a little smile. “But thank you, Mylady. You can’t esteem how much that means to me.” Somehow she had the feeling that Lady Adelaide wasn’t a woman who would say this just like that, without really meaning it. Albion in general was far less cryptic and – sometimes – false than she remembered her own court to be. Not that the noble folk of Ailantha didn’t have affections, they just didn’t act on them openly. Yassia’s own mother had had a hard time adapting to that, at least Suzanna had dropped the odd hint about that.
It was not hard to imagine what Lady Adelaide envisioned for her two sons. Yes, Edmund would probably make a good king, he had the will and the good heart to prove it, even in the short time Yassia was here she already had witnessed that. Mercia would probably prosper further under his rule, and since Edmund had no quarrel with Arthur, the two kingdoms surely would not renew the long war they had been in. And Oliver… yes he would be a good support for his elder brother, even though he should be careful not to let his hot head get the better of him. This was now the fourth view she had been given on Oliver in a relatively short time, and all those views differed from what he had been acting towards her. How could Oliver be Edmund’s heart and mind if he could be so insolent towards an honored guest? His behavior had been impeccable ever since they came to Mercia, but that was due to them having nigh to no interaction at all. He acted as if they didn’t knew each other… which was of course what they had agreed on. ”Edmund really seems to own his brother in swordfight”, she agreed with a little tense smile. “What does Oliver excel at? I am sure he has a forte.” Of course she knew… and she had a scar to prove it.
Her eyes returned to the two young men who had just taken up the fight again. Oliver seemed to warm up to the fight, but it was evident he was more parrying instead of attacking himself, Edmund still had a huge advantage, and he was only getting started. Yassia couldn’t help but admire him for his skills, but the treacherous part of her heart feared for Oliver’s safety. Even in a training fight, things could go wrong, and even from a young age on, Yassia – assisting her mother – had had many chances to witness such occurances. When Oliver escaped Edmund’s thrusting sword just in the nick of time, Yassia let go a little gasp, and immediately looked around to check if anyone had noticed. ”It’s been long since I last watched a swordfight”, she confessed in a low voice with a little sheepish grin. “And they both seem so determined, I hope they take care.”
The knights around them were shouting various encouragements, some backing up their crown prince while some – and Yassia even thought to recognize at least one of them – clearly were on Oliver’s side, cheering him onwards. It was evident that both brothers were very well liked, and Yassia had to admit she enjoyed herself, despite the slight tension she still could feel whenever her eyes focused on Oliver too long. There was just too much that time could not erase, however hard she tried to hate him or be indifferent. And yet she had to… it was best for everyone if the past stayed the past.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Dec 1, 2011 19:40:47 GMT -5
Someone tell me why I am so nervous, Yassia thought as her hands tightened around each other as soon as both princes took up the weapons and started to circle each other like hungry wolves. This is nothing but a training fight, so get a grip on yourself, Prinèesa! Calling herself with her formal title in her own language helped a bit, as she had also adopted the mental tone of her father on the rare occasions he had needed to reprimand her. Nothing could help her better to get a grip than this one word sound in this particular, slightly warning way. And yet if could not chase away the feeling of unease completely, even though she tried to be nothing but rational. She also couldn’t help but notice that her anxiety was not equally divided between the two brothers, and that was what upset her most. After everything that happened, could she really still feel afraid for Oliver?! It was pathetic, really! He didn’t deserve her fear, he did deserve nothing from her! What did she care if his brother sliced him in half, he had that coming big time anyway!
But who was she fooling? Somehow he still had a place in her heart even though she tried so hard to fight it. And Edmund really was the better of the two with a sword, and he had said he won’t go easy on Oliver on top of it. A little anxiety was justified there, no? This was all just far too confusing, but glaldy for Yassia, the fight took on speed soon, so she forgot about her thoughts and merely focused on what she had to follow with her eyes. It was obvious now that Edmund excelled in swordfight, and Yassia couldn’t help but admire his swiftness and cunning, he surely gave his brother scarcely time to breathe. Oliver stood his ground, but it was clear to see where the advantage lay. Maybe it wasn’t that bad she had wished him good luck earlier, he seemed to need it. It was no shame to have other specialties than swordplay, and Yassia surely didn’t belong to this kind of noblewoman who looked down on all other weapons. The sword might be deemed the most noble, but she had seen and witnessed first hand how good Oliver was with his bow, and she held far more admiration for this kind of weapon. If, of course, one HAD to use the word admiration.
From where she stood, Yassia could see that they were talking while exchanging blows, but she could not gather every word, as the wind got hold of the sound and diverted it as soon as it left their mouths. From the snippets she DID catch though, Yassia was surprised to realize Edmund apparently had chosen this opportunity to present her request to Oliver. Great! He might not know it, but there was probably nothing as distracting as anything concerned with herself for Oliver right now. She was his red rag, she realized that. And yet, she could not help but listen more closely, trying to catch Oliver’s replies. What would he say? Meanwhile the fight was getting more heated, and Yassia found herself wincing, almost opening her mouth for an outcry as Edmund’s sword missed Oliver’s arm by a fraction of an inch, only tearing open the fabric of his sleeve, and gladly not his flesh. "You what?!" That rang clearly over the training ground and caused a few knights to exchange curious glances. Yassia was as intrigued as them, wondering what on earth Edmund exactly had said to provoke such an reaction from Oliver. Yassia’s stomach tightened in a sickening feeling, even though she could not even tell why. But there was something else afoot here, something she had realized earlier, she just still couldn’t put her finger on it.
Yassia had been so enthralled with the fight she hadn’t even noticed someone approaching her from behind. She only saw the knights shuffle out of the corner of her eyes, and when she tore her gaze away from Oliver and Edmund, she saw Lady Adelaide standing next to her. ”Mylady!” she greeted softly, bowing her head, while her eyes still flickered towards the training ground. With more polite than real interest she listened to what their mother had to say and couldn’t help a fine smile playing around her lips. In any other circumstances she would have given this woman her full attention, as she deserved nothing less. In her whole demeanour, so blunt without being insolent, she reminded Yassia often enough so much of her own mother it hurt. That, she had learned also by being around Caitrin, must be the Albion way. In Ailantha, a lady would have never voiced her wishes for her sons to marry so openly. She would have hid it in little comments here and there, but never openly addressed the topic of grandchildren.
”But you are still young, Mylady”, she protested fervently. “And so are your sons! Give them a little time and I am sure they will find someone who will benefit both them and the kingdom.” Well, whoever Oliver would choose, she could only hope this someone would never betray him. Yassia’s heartbeat accelerated again as she saw Oliver quickly glancing her way and then preparing for another round. It had been rather gracious of Edmund to offer his brother some respite as he was already one combat in advance. Without even so much wanting it, she voiced her next train of thoughts: ”You can be proud of them, you know. Each of them has his own impeccable qualities. What one might lack, the other makes up for.”
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Nov 30, 2011 12:44:36 GMT -5
Lip service, really?! Yassia thought she had not come across anyone that she would accuse less of every stooping to lip service. Oliver just not seemed to be that kind at all. He had been thoroughly honest with her, and even though they had just met a few hours ago, it felt like she knew him for a lifetime. So when he told her he thought she was strong, it did not only make her feel wonderfully warm and at home, she also believed him. If this was what he saw in her, then she was more inclined to accept it than if she wanted to convince herself. Yes, he might not know who she really was, but was a title even so important? She was more than just her title, wasn’t she, and Yassia even thought that her journey had brought out more of her true personality, just because it was no longer covered and protected by the golden shield of her ancestry. “Thank you”, she said softly, reaching to squeeze his hand. “No, really, I mean it. You might not know much of me, but it feels like in this short time you figured me out better than people I’ve known all my life. I will try to believe that everything will be fine.”
With pent up breath Yassia waited for Oliver’s answer. She had moved out on a limb with this impulsive exclamation of her feelings, and she didn’t want to force him to say the same. If anything, she wanted him to be honest with her, even though of course it would pain her to realize he didn’t feel as much for her. But she wanted to know, she needed to know. Even though this would lead nowehere in the end, dreaming of it would be easier if she could be sure he loved her as well. That it had only been fate separating them and none other was to blame. It was easier to blame fate, because in the end you could not change anything, you could also not blame yourself for not doing anything to change it, if it just was not meant to be. You could stay in the world of ‘if only’ without regrets. His answer was as wonderful as it was sad, but for the moment the joy clearly was prominent. Yassia felt her whole being lighting up with exuberant love as she was content to just look at Oliver, drinking in the love that radiated from him in return. “Good”, was all she said, but her whole world was contained in this simple word.
She had not expected him to react in such a mischievous way, but then, comparing it to the banter they had had before, it was very well traceable and made a bright smile appear on Yassia’s face. This playfulness had been what had drawn her in in the first place, paired with his unbelievable caring. You seldomly found someone who had both traits so very well developed in one and the same mind and balanced them out so perfectly. Perfect, yes that was the right word to use, Oliver was the perfect man. She was sure in her further life she would always voluntarily or involuntarily compare every man she met to him. “Well, aren’t you demanding”, she whispered with a smirk just the moment their lips met again and she once again gave in fully to the passion of their unification. She hadn’t thought there could come any more to what they had already experienced, but this was a height of passion unknown to her before.
While she kissed him she had closed her eyes, but suddenly something made her open them again and as she looked up past his head, she saw the flaming trail of a star moving across the clear sky. Immediately that brought back a treasured memory of her childhood, her father standing with her on the highest tower of the castle, pointing at the same starlit sky.
"The stars guide the path of all people, and they are set in their place forever. But sometimes something can happen to make them wander across the sky to alter a set fate. And if you are fortunate enough to witness this rare occasion, then you are allowed to make a wish for your own fate. Maybe the star hears it and decides to grant your wish… but be careful what you wish for… for one single star leaving its place my change the pattern of a whole dynasty or kingdom. You might never know…" 'I don’t care', Yassia thought as she closed her eyes again and wished with all her might. 'For once in my life I don’t care. No matter the time, no matter the circumstances: Please, let me meet him again.'
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Nov 30, 2011 10:44:44 GMT -5
How was it possible to fall from the highest heights of hope down to the harsh reality and being soused with ice cold water on top of it within seconds?! Really, the amount of emotional changes Edmund had put her through in the last couple of minutes couldn’t be called anything but crazy, and yet he had not the slightest inkling of it all. A joke. It could all be nothing but a joke. He enjoyed to make his mother laugh and give his father near heart attacks. There needn’t be anything behind those words at all. What a fool she was to readily assume he had really meant it! Didn’t his latest behavior show he did not want her anymore? It didn’t matter what had been back then, it was as distant and unreachable as a dream. The thought hurt Yassia deep inside, but she knew she had to pull strength from that pain. She had to move on. He had. And it should be enough to know that them meeting and him making his vow had made Oliver change his ways, so that his family now could be proud of him. It should be enough… but somehow it wasn’t. “A joke… of course”, she answered with a fake smile. “That sounds more likely. We cannot change who we are after all.”
Edmund was right, there still was a long way to go, and even he could not decide things all on his own. His father needed to agree to this rescue plan, and also possibly some sort of council. Yassia didn’t know how things worked here in Mercia, but she had witnessed first hand in her own kingdom that a king was only sovereign as long as the crown council, mostly consisting of trusted lords of the realm, stood beside him in the matters. Without their consent, he could do nigh to nothing. Guifré had gotten to know their strength in their denial to change the rules of succession in his favor, but then they had also nearly turned on Yassia, wanting her to agree to marrying her cousin. So Edmund could promise all he wanted in advance, he was right to smother her high hopes. “Yes, you are entirely right, the way to go is still long and might not be easy, but it’s the consent that matters to me most”, she looked at him pointedly. “To know that I am, in fact, not alone in this fight.”
Yassia was far too caught up in watching Oliver’s swift and elegant movements with the sword to pay any more heed to what Edmund said to her. She heard the words, but she didn’t take them in, fascinated with the fight before her. She had never felt the urge to be able to handle a blade herself, but she loved watching duels nevertheless, their deathly elegance that seemed almost like a dance sometimes, with the whole body in motion. Of course, this was only a training fight and therefore didn’t hold the anxious thrill of a real fight to the death, but that didn’t make it any less fascinating. Even with her little expertize, Yassia could tell that Oliver might not be in his right element when wielding a sword. He was good, no question of that, but she wondered if Edmund would be better.
Feeling Edmund’s hand on the small of her back into reality somewhat, but not completely. It was a fond gesture, but it was not over-intrusive and so she let it happen. Maybe he had realized the absence of her mind and wanted to guide her in the right direction? “Yes, let’s ask him, if he’s not too busy right now”, she answered belatedly to his suggestion, but just when she said that, it nearly drowned in the uproaring cheer as Oliver suddenly lunged forward, caught the other knight by surprise and only a heartbeat later had the tip of his sword at the other’s throat. It was a clear victory, and Yassia impulsively joined in the cheer, but of course only by clapping her hands, everything else would have not been befitting. She couldn’t quite suppress the surge of happiness she felt for him in that moment, and her heart started to beat in a frenzy as he approached her.
He kissed her hand. She knew it was nothing but a courteous gesture, a necessity, but her heart was slow to learn, as was her body. Every inch of her skin he touched either with his breath as he aspirated a kiss on the back of her hand or by holding said hand, sprung alive and felt like being set aflame. There was no stopping the memories that came surging into her mind as this simple gesture, memories of her snuggling into his strong, supporting arms… but she needed to stop!! These were only memories never to return! And in the meantime he had insulted her, had called her a nothing short of a whore, an evil witch. He might have matured, but he had also closed his heart to her.
As they decided on another fight, Yassia forced herself to smile and incline her head gracefully. In all honesty, she had nothing against watching a little more fighting, especially not when that also meant it would put the awkward talk between her and Oliver a little bit off. Asking him for help, him of all people! Taking a few steps back, she crossed her hands over her bosom, a totally courteous and modest posture, but she did it more out of habit, because she felt comfortable in it… and because it kept her hands occupied. “Good luck, my prince”, she called out, and everyone would have assumed she meant Edmund. Maybe her mind had even meant to, but her eyes, her treacherous eyes had found Oliver in the moment she spoke these word. And it was also the very same moment he seemed to look at her, which sent Yassia’s heart into another frenzy.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Nov 29, 2011 13:13:04 GMT -5
Yassia was still too deep in thoughts of her own, trying to push Oliver out of her mind, even though Edmund seemed to quite warm up to the topic of his rascal brother, and so she didn’t pay too much heed to Edmund’s further words at first, until a few of them hit her like a mace. “…in the Forest of Balor…” The Forest of Balor?! Oh sweetest stars, Edmund was talking about THE DAY! Like in trance, Yassia listened on, and hadn’t even noticed she had stopped on the spot, unable to walk further. What she heard there was unbelievable! Only a few days before and up to this very minute she had tried, had even forced herself to believe that Oliver had not loved her even back then, that he was guilty of the things he had accused her of. But now?! Edmund had overheard him saying he wanted to marry the nomad, HER, whenever they met again. Well, that had worked out well. “He… what?!” Her voice seemed to come from far away, as she still tried to process what had been said, she just couldn’t do everything at once as the whole fragile card house she had built herself out of the ruins of their last argument came tumbling down again. But then she saw Edmund still standing beside her and she tried a smile. “I’m sorry… that… I mean I just hadn’t imagined that of him.” All too true…
It was hard to focus on anything else now, but for Edmund’s sake and for the sake of the agreement she had with Oliver, she had to appear normal. No one could know. She might have cursed him to the lowest parts of hell, but she would honor their agreement. If only for her own sake. She was walking on a fragile bridge and only Edmund’s goodwill was what kept her from falling for now, if she lost that, she would lose a great deal more than just a friend. “It is a cruel fact, but I think we can learn from it in the end”, she suggested with a soft smile. “We can learn that we cannot waste time over too many petty arguments, and that we ought to love our family and friends like they are, instead of forcing them to change too much. That might leave us with too many regrets should we ever lose them.”
A test? It was not the first time Yassia was presented with such an interpretation of her ordeals, but she still had her problems with it. She had once talked to Oliver about the untimely death of Mircea had made them meet, and she always had thought that a successfully mastered test would leave you with some kind of reward. But what had she gained by not giving in to Oliver and her silent dreams? Fate was now laughing her in the face, showing her that if she had given in, she would have gotten everything she wanted. Oliver had wanted to marry her, he had loved her. She would have gained a year. Where was the justice in that? “Maybe…” she replied, forcing another smile on her face. She could not hurt him by doubting she was gaining time with him as some sort of reward. He did not know the truth. “I am glad to be here as well.”
But now Edmund was all but saying he would help her out and Yassia could feel her tense muscles relax, and a heartfelt smile lit up her face. Help was near, she had finally found the altruistic, friendly attitude that would aid her in winning back what was hers. She hadn’t known how much this pending question had burdened her until she felt said burden being lifted off her shoulders. “This means more to me than I could possibly express, Edmund! No thanks in the world could cover my gratitude!” Only then she recognized the sound that had been in the back of her mind for a little while now, and a second later Oliver came into her visual field, exercising with a sword. Her step faltering the tiniest bit, she took in his glorious features, but she forced herself to snap out of it. “Him you mean?” her surprise was genuine. “That doesn’t sound at all like the rascal you depicted earlier.” Could it really be Oliver had not forgotten about his vow in the forest? It would be too good to be true.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Nov 28, 2011 11:54:32 GMT -5
In all frank honesty, Yassia did not want to hear more about this particular topic, but then she was also drinking in every word Edmund said like a sponge. This might be her only chance to get to know more about Oliver from a so far unbiased side. If she asked Caitrin, her friend would immediately know where her questions were headed and she might alter her answer thus. Plus, she hadn’t seen Oliver in years while Edmund saw him practically every day Oliver chose to stay in Mercia and not run after some precious game with his friends. But what Edmund said now, about how his brother had nearly forwent his title to be with what gypsy woman, made Yassia pale. He must have been truly madly and deeply in love with this woman to risk such a fate, and yet he had decided with his head and not his heart in the end. If this woman had been only half as much in love with him, it must have broken her own heart. When he had told her of this incident a year ago, it hadn’t sounded so… universal. Their own, petty story seemed nothing against it, and maybe that was why he had been so easy on forgetting it, despite his words. ”I… didn’t know it went that far”, she whispered, but in an instant recognzed her slip. She didn’t sound like someone hearing this for the first time! Hastily she corrected: “I mean… I couldn’t IMAGINE something like that going that far… and I’m glad as well he made the right choice.”
The question about her brother proved an amiable distraction, and Yassia all too eagerly delved into it. ”Ramon was a few years older than me and heir to the throne.We’ve never been inseperable, but we got along well. He was no rascal, he recognized his duties and acted on them, but sometimes he could be found ‘kidnapping’ his siter to the nearby forest, to teach her how to throw daggers so their parents wouldn’t know.” A weary smile crossed her face. “Only when he died when I was fourteen, I realized I had pretty much taken him for granted. How much he really meant to me, because he simply had always been there.” The wound of losing him had hower healed over the years,while the wound that had been caused by Mircea’s death was still raw and fresh. She better not talked about him too often, even though she would want to.
Slowly Yassia began to ask herself why Edmund was asking all of these deep questions that seemed to put her through some sort of acid test. Was that what he wanted? Test her? Or was she being paranoid and he was just genuinely interested? Normally the questions that were asked by courtiers were more superfluos, something you could start a light conversation over, but this went deeper. It actually almost went to her core, and this of all questions brough her desperately near to another incident with Oliver again. For a weird moment Yassia even wondered if Edmund knew… and wanted to set a trap. But that was ridiculous of course. Knowing she could not lie about such a strong subject too well,Yassia tried to keep it vague. ”Once”, she admitted, casting her eyes down as if she was ashamed, while in fact she desperately tried to mask the truth in her eyes, afraid her could read it. “Once there was a time when I had a wild moment and actually wanted to leave my quest, because I thought I had found something more, something better, not regarding the wellbeing of my people.” Again she sighed and then looked up as she deemed it safe again. “But the sheer fact that I am here proves my head won out over my heart.”
And yet, what if she had taken the risk? Now she knew who Oliver was, she knew she simply should have told him the truth back then. He would have been surprised perhaps, but it would have eliminated all their problems in one go. Their love would have had a future and she would not have wasted a year in Camelot, waiting for help that probably would not come. A needless detour, a cruel twist of fate by unforgiving stars. And now it was too late. ”I don’t need all that much”, she explained to his gladly easier question. “You know how it is in politics, sometimes a little saber-rattling succeeds were an open confrontation could fail. I need to return with the open evidence of that I am not alone, that I have support from a mighty kingdom that will aid me, and that will show my uncle he won’t get away with ursupation.” At least she hoped that would be enough.
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Nov 27, 2011 10:24:53 GMT -5
It cost Yassia much to not wince as Edmund told her she sounded like Oliver. Really, did he HAVE to rub it in?! Of course he did not know anything and was just making a casual comment, but that didn’t make it any less ridiculous. She, like Oliver?! That’ll be the day! But then, she could not firmly deny it as little as she could agree to it, because for all Edmund knew she had never met his brother in all her life. And that’s also why she had to lie now, about her relationship with the forest. Yassia hated to lie though when growing up in a viper’s nest that every court could be, you practically imbibed the talent for it from infancy, learning to say one thing and yet meaning another. For Edmund might not know it but he had hit straight home: Ever since meeting with Oliver and after that enchanted night under the stars and save in his arms, Yassia’s view on nature in general and the forest in particular had changed entirely. Now she could see the beauty and magic of it,and not only the danger. After meeting Oliver, she had no longer been afraid of sleeping there at night, she could always cling to her memories with him and wish he was there. ”Me, and a gypsy lover?” she laughed and took the whole question as a joke. “Now you have ideas, Prince Edmund! No, I can assure you, even though I don’t fear the forest as much as I probably should,I would not trade it for the comfort of a castle.” At least not for long. “I just had an elder brother, you know”, she finished off, hoping that would throw him off this particular track. And she also hoped in time the stings of jealousy would cease that she had every time someone mentioned Oliver’s former love.
"As you say, princess, but you couldn't take that away from me now. I don't meet princesses like you everyday," Now he was being all the gentleman again, and Yassia found herself relaxing. In a way, she liked his company, she just had to let go of other, disturbing thoughts and focus on the present, not the past. ”Well I hope for the world that there are not many more princesses having to go through the same ordeals”, she replied with a soft smile. “I’d gladly be a novelty only for that sake.”
Feeling his hand on hers felt a little out of place for Yassia just now, but she did not retract it for fear of alienating him. There was nothing to that gesture, she told herself firmly. He was just being nice and nothing more. And she appreciated his kindness. No one not cursed with a similar temper could quite estimate the shame you felt after you had a slip of your tongue. It felt like worms eating your guts away, and Yassia most of the time would do anything to turn back time and alter her words. So every show of forgiveness was a great relief indeed, even though this had been nothing compared to what she was capable off. She could do far worse… and she had. Sweet stars, she had once nearly killed Oliver in her rage! And there he was again… master of her thoughts…
Sweet stars, this was all getting too conflicted! It was time she had another lengthy conversation with Caitrin. But could she really burden her friend constantly with her heartaches? She was here to get a pre-wedding party after all! ”But can I afford to let my heart rule in such matters?” she asked. “If I had not known this to be bad for my kingdom as well, I would have married him. So looking at it that way, it was very convenient that I knew it was the wrong choice all the way.”
Edmund’s sincere apology made her anger melt away like snow under the sun. He really meant it this time, no lip service involved, she could see that. And it was a good sign he could go out of his way and admit a fault like that, not many people could do that… Oliver for one. He had never truly apologized for what he had thrown at her in his fit of anger. And as long as he did not apologize she would never truly forgive him. ”Don’t apologize, Edmund”, she protested softly, now locking his gaze. “I can’t assume you understand things that are not of your world, but just coming from my head. I needed to clarify more.” Smiling, she squezed his hand. “I have already found my one and only relative left, Sir Kaye, an old knight of Camelot. His intercession was heard before Uther, but it seems Camelot has too much on its plate to help me for now, what with all the danger surrounding it.”
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Nov 26, 2011 19:18:22 GMT -5
Yassia hid a smile as she listened to Edmund’s words. She should have guessed the conversation would sooner or later take this turn. Seriously, was that all men cared about? Fortification, camouflage and war? It really seemed to be a big topic for princes in general. When Vortigern had tortured her he had wanted to know details about Ailantha’s defenses in general and the castle’s in particular. It was all for these games of war. Build your own castle and try to overthrow those of the others… and sadly it was this stupid game that caused so much pain in the world. Ailantha had not taken part in it for so many years, but now with her uncle all but in charge, there was no telling where it would all lead. And then Edmund spoke about Oliver, and Yassia’s first impulse was to just not listen, to close her ears off to what he was saying, as she did not want Oliver to enter her thoughts yet again, but she couldn’t help but listening nevertheless, as what Edmund said was rather intriguing. This was more the Oliver she knew, not the one he had been posing as ever since… posing? Hadn’t she been convinced just moments before that this was the real Oliver and that his carefree, kind self had been nothing but a lie? How come that a single word by Edmund could turn this view upside down? Because he knows him better than you do…. A small voice in her head replied. Because he is his brother…
”Is that so?” she commented, acting the innocent. No one could know after all that she knew this side of Oliver very well indeed. “Well, I myself have seen the dangers of a forest first hand, and I probably wouldn’t trade them for a castle for long. Then again… the forest CAN be beautiful and even castle walls can be more a prison than protection. It all depends on the intentions both have towards you.” She mused rather thoughtfully. While escaping from the prison her own castle had become to her, the forest and the so-called wilderness had been the epitome of freedom to Yassia, because they had been the medium that would bring her to safety. It really all depended on the situation you found yourself in, and she could not blame Oliver for liking the nature around him. It might be a little irresponsible to always keep away and play the huntsman, but then he had a brother that was responsible enough for them both as it seemed. There truly could not be two brothers as different as Oliver and Edmund of Mercia.
Now he told her he admired her for her bravery, but somehow Yassia couldn’t quite shake off the feeling that it was nothing but lip service, that he had caught on her irritation and now sought to appease her. But why was she thinking so badly of him? It surely wasn’t deserved! He might be a little more courteous than his brother, but that was something she had grown up to, yes? She should get used to it again, before it got her into serious trouble. ”I only did what I thought was the best for my kingdom”, she warded off his praise. “I never sought to be admired.” Funny, wasn’t it? Again this was a sentence she had said once before… but to Oliver… about Edmund. And now she was walking in circles once again.
A bitter laugh escaped Yassia’s lips at Edmund’s jibe. He had probably meant well, but he had just right hit a huge nerve. “I could never like him! He might have been handsome and all the ladies of the court swooned at his sheer sight, but he was weak, completely under his father’s thumb!” She nearly spat that out, but then took a deep breath, calming both her mood and her voice. “Forgive me… I should not have spoken in such a manner.” She winced at his next words. Again he was hitting a nerve and this time she was not as forgiving. What did he know, really?! He only had heard half of the story and was nothing but assuming! ”Don’t think I don’t know that”, she forced out between gritted teeth. “But I did not flee to save myself, I fled to find help! I knew I still had relatives here from my mother’s side and they were my only hope! If I stayed, Guifré would have got the kingdom for sure and forever!”
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Nov 26, 2011 18:46:51 GMT -5
For a moment, Yassia actually pictured Caitrin surrounded by a bunch of red head children, boys and girls alike and the the mental image made her smile. She could not tell yet what hair color Griff would have, but somehow Yassia thought this promiment haircolor as dominant as its bearer. Surely Caitrin would be a wonderful mother, as she already had more experience with large families than she probably even admitted to herself. Growing up in a large family herself would help her there, Yassia was sure of it. And she just could see her friend getting through anything successfully, it seemed to be in her nature. Maybe there would be minor setbacks, but the princess was sure that the stars shone down in favor on Caitrin and would give her the life she deserved. ”I can see this to be a thing taking time”, she agreed softly, smiling. “But then, it must be in our blood somehow, yes? I don’t think any woman was born to be a dead end, so to speak. You will be a wonderful mother, I am sure of it, and I would give anything to see one of your children one day.” But that was truly a long way off and only the stars knew what would happen until then.
Yassia’s eyes lit up as she saw her friend sharing her excitement so openly and as Caitrin spoke about coming to visit Ailantha. How wonderful that would be! And it was not impossible, it would only take a lot of planning and time. Time they hopefully would have once things had settled down. There was no way she could invite Caitrin before she had been firmly settled as the queen of Ailantha without any ongoing struggle. And however optimistic Yassia was, she knew it might take a little, if her uncle had taken over in her absence – and the chances were high he actually had. ”Oh, please please do!” she beseeched her friend though. “We will make it happen, no matter what it takes! And Ailantha might not be as grand a sight to behold than maybe Camelot, but you will love the people! They can be stubborn, but they are loyal… maybe the one also causes the other?” she finished with a jovial wink. But it was true… the loyalty of her people was something she dearly counted on. She could not imagine them to accept Guifrés rule so easily.
She didn’t think it would be wise to point out that if she only wanted, Yassia would truly have a choice. In fact, shortly Yassia had considered agreeing to a marriage with Stéphane, but preventing herself from bearing any children. That would insult his honor quite a bit, and it would prevent the new line from prospering into another generation. But what then? In the end it would only cause more chaos, and so she had chosen to flee. Then she thought about a possible way to truly stay in touch with Caitrin over such grand a distance. Messengers would take horribly long and she truly could not burden any poor man with such a journey back and forth for her own personal gain. ”I’m sure we will think of something until the time comes”, she assured her friend with a sigh. “There IS a way, and I’m sure it will come to us. Let’s not burden ourselves now with problems the future holds, for now we can very well keep in touch!”
Following Caitrin to the window seat and sitting down, Yassia then shook her head. “Not quite. The rhythm is the same, but the melodies they improvise are completely different. But that makes it somehow… enchanting to me. It is a mixture of both cultures”, she smiled and leaned her head against the wall.”Like I am.”
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Post by Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha on Nov 26, 2011 16:53:16 GMT -5
A gleeful chuckle escaped Yassia as she listened to Caitrin’s hopes and dreams put into words, and her eyes started gleaming. Oh it was wonderful to have such happy prospects to look forward to, and for a happy moment, any thought of jealousy was utterly banned from her mind. She just felt glad for her friend and enjoyed picturing it as well. Griff, even thought she had not met him yet, seemed such an important part of Caitrin’s future that Yassia couldn’t help but including him into this relationship. She really hoped she would get to know him soon. ”Don’t you fear, my lips are sealed”, she chuckled and let go a dreamy sigh. “Wouldn’t want the husband-to-be to get cold feet, because he doesn’t see himself as a father figure, right? But I am sure, if you break it to him slowly, you will get your large family eventually. That’s the good thing about families, they grow naturally, and you can’t really do anything against it.” Well, a healer could, at least some of them, and Yassia had the dangerous knowledge of plants that could hinder a conception. But she also knew that the real reason for why she was rambling now and forcing her thoughts in this particular direction, was because she wanted to escape answering Caitrin’s question in return.
But in the end, she did reply, and slowly a smile crept over her face. A girl was allowed to dream, yes? No one had said this was what she KNEW was to happen in a few years time, she could as well tell Caitrin where she WANTED to be…and that was easy. ”Well, in a few years time… I see myself ruling over Ailantha, either alone but better with someone that I truly love and whom I can trust. I would use the knowledge I gained on my travels to let Ailantha become a wonderful place!” She beamed. “Maybe I could… decree that travellers can claim sanctuary in every house, that it is more than a duty to help them out… it’d be the law. Because I have witnessed first hand what it means to travel without any help at all.” She took another moment to think. “About children… It’s funny, of course I want children, but… I can’t actually see myself having them. Maybe I’m not the mother type after all… or I need to find the one that makes me want to have children first.”
Yassia nodded her head fiercely and winked. No, she really could not see anyone able to push Caitrin around. She would probably teach them a lesson they would never forget! ”I do hope it will help me… but it makes me sad to think you might not be there to witness it.” She sighed and squeezed her friend’s hand. “But then, Ailantha might be far, but it is not the end of the world. I am sure we can stay in touch, one way on the other. And who knows how long it takes for me to get help? It could be a while still.”
With a jovial wink, Yassia took her friend’s arm and let herself be led towards the other room. How funny it must look to an outsider. They had only just met, but now they were walking like year old friends would and it didn’t feel in the least bit wrong! Even before entering the room, Yassia heard the music and was quite impressed as to how well she already could feel the difficult rhythm pulse through their melody. It was different from anything Yassia had ever heard, probably Albion tunes with an Ailanthan or rather even Andaluse rhythm, but it was far better than what she had expected. She, too, smiled at the servants and nodded her approval. “Yes, keep on playing, please, it sounds wonderful already.” Turning to Caitrin, she added: “Where shall we sit? Do you have a favourite place in here?”
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