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Post by Guinevère on Apr 12, 2011 23:31:18 GMT -5
"Merlin was the hero that day." Guinevère had expected the shock, she had expected the confusion and he had expected the . . . . no, she had not expected the laugh. He was laughing!? Really?! Part of her would have enjoyed the sound after the last few hours but she was afraid that he'd gone mad. She hurried over, to the table and watched him for a moment. "Are you alright?" She asked him while trying to decided if this was funny to him or if he'd just had too much too fast?!
Guinevère wondered if she should get him the wine now. He had not wanted it earlier but maybe something to help him take all this in. She turned to hurry over to the pitcher and bring it back to the table. Pouring some into a cup she held it out for him. She could only stare at him as he laughed at the story. "Here, drink this. It will help you take all this in and clam your mind some." Or she really - really- hoped.
(¯`v´¯) .`·.¸.·´ ♥ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.♥
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Apr 12, 2011 23:51:56 GMT -5
Now she was standing near him? Well, he supposed that made sense. Had he not been the one laughing, and was instead a spectator, he too probably would have been concerned over the mental health of the overly amused man. But he was the one expressing his amusement right now. He could not even answer her question without looking even more insane right now. He just kept laughing, in some sort of fit it seemed. He did however, manage to take the cup from her. Even if he could not speak in the moment, he could distract himself with a nice drink. He had rejected the beverage before, but now it could quite possibly be the only thing that calmed him down as she suggested. Yes! An excellent idea. He took the cup from her hand and took a sip of it.
As he was taking his first sip, he simultaneously moved the map and notes from the top of the pile of papers, seeing what was next. What he did see next, made any trace of amusement immediately vanish. He abruptly sprung to his feet, the chair being pushed back in this sudden abrupt movement, his eyes widening at the paper in front of him. He would have spit out his drink had he not already half way swallowed it, which just ended up going down his throat the wrong way, and as a result of that, he choked. He coughed a few times, the transition from laughing so hard, to now choking on his drink . . . so very abrupt and awkward that it really could look like Arthur had gone mad. After coughing a couple of times, he tried to catch his breath so that he could speak for he wanted to -- needed to -- find out more about what he had just seen on this piece of paper. "I was," -- He paused while he tried to catch his breath, throwing another awkward cough in there -- "Married?!" His voice was strained, as he was still recovering from the obscure way he swallowed the wine.
He had been married?!? The paper said it right there: an announcement of the wedding between Crown Prince Arthur Pendragon of Camelot and Lady Elena of --- he had not seen the rest. He had been too distracted by the words that followed which was an invitation to their wedding. Arthur remembered checking his hand not too along ago for a wedding band and had seen nothing. So how -- who -- when -- What was going on?!?! Who was Elena?! Why had he been married to her? HAD! Oh good gosh how he hoped it was past tense! Did she die? Was he too under an enchantment that had caused this?! No! His father would have never given him the authority to marry someone random! This was a legitimate invitation! This was a real wedding! HIS wedding! Which had apparently ALREADY HAPPENED!
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Post by Guinevère on Apr 13, 2011 0:07:39 GMT -5
When he jumped up Guinevère jumped back having not been expecting it to go from slightly frightening laughter to slightly frightening . . . jumping. His words however explained his panic. "Oh!" She said and smiled, "No. Your still unwed. You almost did however." She explained to him and wondered how much she should give him. "Lady Elena of Gwant and you were supposed to be web for an alliance. She was a lovely girl, but . . . ." She paused and looked down at her hands, as she folding them before her and forced her eyes back to his. ". . . but you did not wish to be married to her."
Your father wanted the match, but you refused to marry someone you did not love." Because he had loved her, and wanted to wait for her. It had been the moment she had gotten true hope in them. When she knew that he was waiting for her, no matter how much she tired to do the honorable thing. It was when she decided to formally wait for him as well instead of trying to prepare her self to loose him.
She turned around slowly after telling him and went back to where she had been folding shirts. She did not want him to keep asking about his wedding and about why he stopped it and who this girl he loved was. "I can fetch you some food if you'd like. It's been hours since you had supper." She hoped he would let her do it and not talk about the wedding, but Guinevère also knew that it was mostly not going to happen.
(¯`v´¯) .`·.¸.·´ ♥ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.♥
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Apr 13, 2011 11:19:18 GMT -5
What?! He had almost been married?! He refused to marry someone else? Why was she being so vague on this subject! He needed to know more! He recognized the name, but never met the woman. Gwant was one of their strongest allies, so the marriage would have been arranged for political reasons no doubt. When did he refuse to marry her?! The invitation was right here! Should he have not told his father before all the arrangements were made? What had he done! Arthur was still unable to sit down, though at least now he had stopped choking and had gotten his voice back. None of this made sense! Is this why she knew he was in love? Why everyone knew he was in love? Had he made some grand announcement on the day of his wedding? . . . His wedding that never happened! He needed to know more! Much, much, MUCH more! Which was precisely why he ignored her offer to get food. He was not hungry! He was in shock! And slightly nauseous. "How . . . did this happen?!"
How had he accepted the wedding up to the point that the invitations were made and probably sent out! "How could I have refused it when everything was already arranged?!" Arthur usually did not publicly disagree with his father. So all this, was just unimaginable! "Did I tell him I was in love with another?" Does his father know what he was in love with another woman?! This wedding had only happened months ago; he was assuming that he did not marry Elena because he was already in love with whoever this other woman was. "I don't understand, any of this!" How could he?! He went from almost married, to not married, and somewhere before, after, or in between, was in love with someone else! Why had he not married her yet?! Now there was a question that he would ask soon after Guinevère answered his. For he refused to change the subject so quickly.
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Post by Guinevère on Apr 13, 2011 11:30:00 GMT -5
She knew that if he keep pushing she'd have to tell him he was in love with someone so far below him, and she really did not want to. she was so afraid to see the look on his face when he found out. He had been shocked enough to learn he was knighting commoners and befriending servants! How would he feel when he learned he loved one. What if he never got his memory back?! Would he start to undo everything he had began to do? Would he ever give what they could have had a chance?
She turned to watch him, glad that she had backed up and given her self the distance she needed before he asked her such questions. "I don't know the political details, but I know your father invited the King and Princess here for a visit and start pressing for the marriage just as they arrived. You told told him that you did not wish to marry unless it was for love but . . . . you eventually agreed." It had hurt to have to watch him seal his life with another but when he stopped it, the joy was so great that she knew . . . . she knew they could wait for each other! "Near the middle of the wedding, you stopped it. Told told her you did not love her and you could not marry her. She seemed relived in a way, glad that she could return home where she wanted to be."
(¯`v´¯) .`·.¸.·´ ♥ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.♥
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Apr 13, 2011 11:41:32 GMT -5
Arthur wondered if it had been arranged for him to marry her at a young age. Probably. His father would not just marry him off to a random ally. This was probably something his father and Godwyn had planned for some time. And when it had finally happened . . . he had accepted?! Alright, that made sense. What did not make sense was the fact that he had went along with the entire thing, and then suddenly decided on the very day of his wedding, in the middle of the ceremony itself, he had refused?! What horrible timing! Arthur was almost afraid to imagine the King's face at that moment! But he had an image in his head, and it was terrifying! He probably had been given hell from his father after that! What kind of man had Arthur become?! One who humiliated others? One who put the woman he loved through all this turmoil when he knew he could not actually do it? To put Elena through all of this as well instead of just talking to her and telling her the marriage wasn't the best idea?
"I walked out of my own wedding?!" He exclaimed, his voice clearly astonished and perhaps a little appalled at this as well. Why had he waited until then! He should have consulted the issue much earlier on! It would have saved his father, Godwyn, Elena, the mystery woman, and himself a lot of embarrassment! He had waited too long, he should not have done that! If only he could remember what could have possibly justified such a thing! But he could not, and that was why he was so shocked with himself over having let things go so far, only to in the end, defy his father's demands anyway! "What did the woman I love say about this whole thing?" He asked, curious about that fact. If Elena was glad to hear that Arthur did not want the marriage -- a relief to him as it meant that there was hopefully not hard feelings -- then what did the women he loved and who loved him, say about this whole situation?! Now more than ever, he needed to know her name so that he could find her.
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Post by Guinevère on Apr 13, 2011 11:53:11 GMT -5
What had she said? At the time, not much but later she had said quite a bit. That she loved him, above all others and that she would wait for him. Wait for him to be king and wait for them to be able to be together freely and openly. She would wait for the day and hour that it would be safe for a man of his rank (whatever it was at the time) and for one of her's (what is was as well) to be able to be together. And wait she would forever.
"She did what any woman who was in love with a prince would do. She stood by you no matter what the decisions you made were." As she always would. "When you stopped the wedding, I think it gave her hope. Knowing that you would not marry any other but her." She wanted to walk over and put her hand on his arm, and help ease the storm that was in his mind. "I know all this is hard to hear, and that in the past three years so much as happened. Some of it i can not even begin to tell you for it's far enough away from what should have happened that the events might as well be mixed in with the stars."
"But I can tell you this; You always have followed your heart, and done what you felt was right no matter who told you other wise. You and your father have greatly different views on a great many things--but I have never seen a father love a son as much as he loves you. No matter what you've done nor how you've defied him." It was why she could never bring her self to truly hate Uther. "You risked death for him, to save him from Morgana. I think no matter what you learn tonight you should take solace in knowing that you still are father and son, and you still love each other greatly . . . . . even if you don't see eye to eye."
(¯`v´¯) .`·.¸.·´ ♥ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.♥
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Apr 13, 2011 12:16:34 GMT -5
Arthur listened to what she said in its entirety without interrupting. This woman he loved truly sounded amazing. For her to be there for him, even though he was marrying another woman was remarkable. No wonder he was in love with her. Even if there was no name or face to go along with this person, he was understanding the character of the woman, the nature of her. It made him so badly want to know who she was so he could go see her tonight. But as Guinevère spoke of her, he began to take her previous words into account, about why he should not see her while his memories were so vacant. He would want to spare her any pain . . . and this, Guinevère knew. She knew quite a bit. In the process, he found himself slowly begin to calm down. It seemed that she knew the woman he loved so very well. But, she knew him better. She knew exactly what he needed to hear; exactly what had been troubling his mind. And she had a way of saying it with such conviction and compassion. He was finally understanding how they had become such good friends.
Arthur still did not hold the confidence in himself that she claimed he did. He followed his heart, and it was something that he often tried to do, but it seemed that the last two years . . . there was practically nothing that his father and him agreed on. He was knighting men, walking away from weddings, taking the crown . . . there was just so many things and Arthur could not understand how this had all started. At least to hear that his father still loved him -- even after all the ways that Arthur had gone against him -- was a huge relief to him. It seemed now, he did not know how to act around him though. If his father awoke, and Arthur's memory had not returned . . . how would they be towards each other? The nature of their relationship had obviously changed; to say that it was the same as it was three years ago would be far too naive of him. Even if they still loved each other and shared that bond of a father and son, Arthur needed to know how he should act; what else he should be made aware of.
He needed to ask, yet was beginning to acknowledge that he was constantly putting her in a difficult position. At the same time, it did not discourage him fully from asking her. Who else could he ask? Who else would know him this well? Who else could phrase things in such a way that gave him comfort? Maybe the woman he loved could fill in all these positions, but right now, he was with Guinevère. "What exactly is the nature of the relationship with me and my father now?" She had explained it on a more general level, but he wanted to know details. Specifics. Such as, how did his father react to the men he had knighted? How did he feel about his son being in love with another woman, one that was not to his first preference? How much had their relationship changed after Morgana's betrayal, for that was obviously something that had taken a toll on him? How did he feel about his son becoming king while he was still alive? There were so many things that Arthur wanted to know, and even if they were to stay up all night talking, it still would not cover a fragment of what he wished to know.
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Post by Guinevère on Apr 13, 2011 12:35:50 GMT -5
She had kept two very important things from him. The first was her own name as the name of the woman he loved. The later . . . now was the moment that she could no longer put off telling him. Guinevère's eyes blinked back tears, knowing this would hurt him. Slowly she walked over to the table and came around so they were on the same side. "You should sit, before I answer, and bare in mind my words of a moment ago."
She took the seat beside his own chair, and looked up into his face. She waited until he had taken his own seat before she took a deep breath. "I am not sure on how you and your father are at the moment. He is still very weak from his time with Morgana. I always thought that his sins would come back to haunt him one day, but even I would not wish this on him."
"Morgana has always been high strong, and a force of nature but . . . she had a secret that no one knew. Not even I. She became bitter, and angry over everything, came to hate your father. Greatly. . . . . this secret . . . . . Arthur she has magic, and she is the natural daughter of your father." Which meant she was his half sister and not just the sister of his heart. Morgana had spent years fighting to be nothing like Uther but in end she she was worse. She cared nothing for the people she had once protected! She was cold and heartless and dark in nature.
"I do not believe you've managed to speak to your father since you've found out. No one knew until Morgana took over the kingdom, and had her self crowned along side with her half sister Morgause. Your father was her prisoner, and the things she made him watch . . . . the things she did to him . . . "
Her voice was clam and she hoped comforting to him but she wanted to make one thing clear; "I know this is hard to hear! It is hard to tell you. However my words from moments ago are still as true then as they are in this moment." She reached over and took his one hand in her two hand not caring if he did not want her touch. She needed him to know she was here! She tilted her head so she was looking right up into his blue eyes; "His history is of his own making, and no one approves. But the one sin I can never put on his shoulders is lack of love and caring for his son. He would die for you, and even after everything . . . you've proved you'd do the same. The rest is unclear as is these uncertain times."
(¯`v´¯) .`·.¸.·´ ♥ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.♥
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Apr 13, 2011 13:10:35 GMT -5
"Arthur she has magic, and she is the natural daughter of your father."
Arthur heard nor acknowledged anything before and after she said this statement. It was one phrase that changed his entire life; not to sound too dramatic. It was a good thing he was sitting for if he had heard this when standing, it would have brought him to his knees. He heard nothing about her convincing him that his father loved him. Or that he would die for him. For all Arthur could think of was how his father had lied to him for his entire life. How he had kept this secret from him, from Morgana it seemed. Was this part of the reason she went against him? Perhaps it contributed to her resentment to his father, it was probably largely because she had magic. She had magic. All these years, she had magic. All these years, she had been his true sister by blood. All these years, his father had lied to him. This was all Arthur could focus on. Her betrayal had been bad enough, but now hearing the reasons for it was unbearable. How had he initially reacted to this information? He wished his memory could return if only to prevent his heart from breaking all over again.
Though she was looking at him, he was not looking at her. He was not even looking at her hand which now rested on top of his. He was looking down. Looking at nothing. Feeling like everything that he had ever known, even from what he could remember, had been shattered completely. The man he had grown to admire and respect had viciously lied to him. The woman he had grown to love and care for, had been his sister; had betrayed them all; had magic within her. How could everything had happened so suddenly, and yet slowly unraveled in a matter of three years? It was all too much. Arthur could not accept this piece of information, even though he knew deep down that Guinevère was not lying. It would explain Morgana's motives, even though it did not justify them. Instead of embracing him as her brother, she had targeted him as an enemy. Instead of his father embracing her like a daughter; he had concealed her as a ward.
Arthur felt his eyes fill with tears. He had not wanted to display such emotions, but how did anyone take such information without being completely devastated? As a few tears slowly trailed down his cheeks, he sniffed a bit, trying to gather his emotions; trying to collect himself so that he could speak. But no words came out at the moment. What was there to say? So much and yet nothing. Even in this state he could not feel sympathy for his father. Everything was over shadowed with anger and a strong sense of betrayal from the two people he cared about so very much. They had both lied to him. They had both betrayed him, even though one was more evident than the other. Arthur could not feel the love he had for his father -- even though he knew it would always be there. All he could feel was an uncontrollable amount of anger, and hurt. Right now, it was more hurt than anything else. He wanted his memory to return. He wanted to be the man who had already experienced this painful news and hopefully had somewhat begun to recover from it. He did not want to be the man he was three years ago; the man who was oblivious to everything; the man who had to find out the truth all over again; the man who had to experience the emotions associated with it . . . all over again.
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Post by Guinevère on Apr 13, 2011 13:23:33 GMT -5
It was his tears that undid her. She dropped his hand and quickly moved forward to wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry." She told him, over and over she told him. "I am so sorry." Her hand moved so rub his back and touch his hair in the same manner a mother would comfort a child or a wife a husband. He had not pulled back from the touch on his hand, and she hoped that he would not pull back from his embrace. "I would spare you this if I could, and part of me wished that you could forget again and I would never have to tell you of these things."
She felt the need to leave no silence while he thought. In hopes that his mind would not travel too far while thinking. She was grateful that he seemed to believe her, and she did not have to prove her self this time. She only wished that perhaps this time, he would not. "I was not with you the last time you heard this news. I was trapped here at the Citadel, and you were not so. I could not tell you how you learned to accept the news." She had been forced to smile and be a friend when in truth she only wanted to run to him. "The worst is over now. There are no more dark things forgotten. I'm sorry." She whispered to him, "I am so sorry." She wished there was a way to give more comfort or to take in some of the pain into her.
(¯`v´¯) .`·.¸.·´ ♥ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.♥
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Apr 13, 2011 14:25:21 GMT -5
This time, Arthur did not pull away from her touch. This time, he felt comfort in it. Which was odd, but he was not in the frame of mind to consider that right now. Instead, when she pulled him towards her, he lowered his head a bit so that his forehead was on her shoulder, as he closed his eyes. He felt her hands rub his back, which only added to the comfort of this moment as he kept his own hands to his side, unable to move them; he felt too numb. Had he been more rational, he would have thought it was strange to feel this comforted by a woman whom he did not love. He did not know that woman, and he was getting to know Guinevère. He could not base his emotions on how they were supposed to be; only what he felt in the moment. He still felt hurt, betrayed and yet, as he felt her arms around him . . . he felt something that he could not quite describe.
She should not be the one apologizing for all of this. But he could not bring himself to tell her to stop. It should be his father who felt guilty . . . which he most probably did. Had he truly expected to keep this from practically everyone? Had he not anticipated anyone finding out? He should have told him. Both Arthur and Morgana had a right to know. Maybe if she had, she would not have betrayed them. Of course, that did not address the fact that she had magic. There were so many things that Arthur could not quite wrap his head around and he still could not find the words to speak. He would much rather hear her softly spoken assurances, apologizing, reminding him of things that he had currently forgotten or did not wish to acknowledge.
He finally managed to move his hands, trailing them up her arms until they rested on the upper portion of them. He then slowly moved his head, only slightly pulling away so that he could look at her. His eyes were moist from the tears, but he could still see her very clearly. They were a few inches apart, and for some reason . . . for some indescribable reason, Arthur felt the urge to close the distance between them. He was not sure what had caused this sudden overwhelming urge. Especially after hearing all about how much he loved another woman and how much she loved him. Maybe it was just his desperate need to find intimate comfort in a woman's touch. After all, she was the first he had seen when he woke up, and she was the only one that he was getting to know -- technically again. He just looked at her, a longing look in his eyes. But he could not do it.
After a few moments that felt both extremely long and extremely short, he pulled away a bit more so that the temptation would not be so great. He turned his head to the side, looking away from her. His arms remained on her upper arms, as if it was the only thing supporting him right now. He was not sure what had happened, what was building inside of him. He could only blame the moment. Blame the discovery of finding out about his father's lies; and Morgana's true identity. It was just the moment. His heart apparently belonged to another and he could not betray that. Not after the way Guinevère had talked about her. And not after her telling him that she had a man in her life. Yes. It was just the moment that caused him to feel this way, and it would pass. Not like the hurt that filled him which he felt would be there for an eternity. He had just been filled with so many emotions; he had just been caught up in the moment.
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Post by Guinevère on Apr 13, 2011 15:01:47 GMT -5
Guinevère felt him pull back and look into her face. She knew the man before her just as she knew the look upon his face. She knew just as she knew how to breathe--instinctively that he was about to kiss her. Hope exploded in her at the thought. He looked away and sifted back some but she wasn't going to let it diminish the spark of hope that filled her. Arthur loved her! And if after only a few hours with her, he could get that look on his face, maybe THAT was her sign!
Guinevère wished she'd been honest and told him who she was from the first moment but part of her still did not wish to hit him with too much too quickly. She would tell him at dawn, as planned. Let his mind take a rest and embrace the other changes first. She would make sure that he knew that there was no pressure between them, and she would be waiting for when he needed a friend and waiting for when he needed something more.
Her hands moved to wipe clean his cheeks from the tears before she moved back to her seat, still holding his hand. "I can not begin to understand what you might be feeling. I know that this will be something that will take more then just moments to accept and to be able to think clearly around it. Just know that your friends are with you. That we've always been with you, and you do not have to any of this alone. We will support your ever move, because we trust and love you. Everyone of us, both familiar and new."
"Merlin, Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Elyan, Lancelot, Gaius. . . . . We will be here when you need us, in every way that you need us." She swore to him, "You barely even have to ask. Especially Merlin. You know how he loves to be right int he middle of your life." She teased, softly hoping it would give him a small amused thought since she knew he was beyond smiling right now.
(¯`v´¯) .`·.¸.·´ ♥ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.♥
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Apr 13, 2011 18:56:04 GMT -5
This time, Arthur did not recoil from her touch. For the first time since he woke up, he found more comfort in her touch rather than uneasiness. As she wiped away his tears, he still avoided her gaze. He knew she was trying to help, and in a way she was. While it was reassuring to hear that he had so many true friends, he only recognize a few of the names: Merlin, Gaius and Leon. The relationships that he was familiar with were practically destroyed. He had lost a great deal of trust for his father and Morgana . . . well, he doubted they could ever go back to the way things were. It was impossible, yet how could he automatically trust men he had no memories of. What if his memory never returned? Would he have pressure to accept these friendships; treat them as his brothers when he knew nothing of them. Well, nothing apart from what Guinevère had told him. He still lacked the experience with them, which allowed him to trust them to the extent of knighting each and every one.
He had lost a great deal, though it seemed he had gained quite a bit as well. While he did not smile at her light teasing he appreciated her attempt. He knew, that there was nothing anyone could say to ease the pain of finding this out. It would have to be something that passed with time, or something that never healed completely. "Thank you," he said in a soft voice, using his strength to steady it so that it was not as shaky and rattled as he felt. He moved his hands from her arms, letting them fall to his side once again. He began to wonder how he had dealt with the news upon discovering it the first time. She said she was not with him, so he knew she could provide no answer. Perhaps Merlin could. He wanted to know how he had coped; what he had done; if it was this painful the first time. It undoubtedly was. Maybe even more painful as there were still three years unaccounted for where who knows what could have happened to draw him closer to his father and Morgana -- or in this case, subtly pulled them apart.
Her words brought comfort, yet . . . it placed a great deal of pressure on him. All these people, the ones he did not know particularly, were loyal to him because of the man he is, or was. How could he expect them to support him now when he didn't even know who he was? He knew that he could count on Merlin, Leon, Gaius . . . but even Guinevère had already lashed out at him because he was so different and unaware of what he had done, or how different he really was from then to now. What would the others say? Would they be angry as well? Would he lose their loyalties? There was so much pressure; far too much. And even she could not fill in enough blanks to fully alleviate it. "If I can never be the same man you and the others know, then would I still have the support and love that you speak of?" It was a difficult question, he knew that. But he was starting to fear the worst. That if he could not remember these life changing events in his life, then what if he never did? What did that mean for him and his friendships with all these she spoke of . . . and the woman he loved.
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Post by Guinevère on Apr 13, 2011 19:20:09 GMT -5
Valid fears, yet they were unneeded. "Arthur you are already that man. Never doubt that." She told him, hoping he could see what she had seen. "When Lancelot left, you fought for his right to stay. When Gwaine was banished, you fought for his right to stay. Three years later and your actions are still the same. Your still fighting for what you know is right. The only thing that has changed is how you've learned to fight."
"Know that, you've had my loyalty always. . . . even back when we first met and you were just a bully, and I was just frightened little girl. As for friendship and love . . . . " She looked unwavering into his face, " . . . never doubt in mine. I believe I know each man well enough to say that, you should not doubt in them either. . . especially Merlin's who has been your friend since the first few weeks as your man servant."
"If you are afraid that there is too much that has changed then, you should change it again. Be honest with these men and tell them what has happened. It's hard to know you've forgotten so much but it's not the end of the world. It's not something that you can not come back from. Tell them you have forgotten, and let them help you remember." She paused for a moment and looked down as if afraid of what she had to say next. When she looked back up at him she smiled softly. "You should not feel as if you must be the man I have told you about tonight. You will find your way to being the man you were meant to be. You will call whom you choose friend, when you can feel them as a friend. Until then, just know that we are waiting." I am waiting.
(¯`v´¯) .`·.¸.·´ ♥ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.♥
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Apr 13, 2011 21:15:35 GMT -5
Arthur could not entirely agree with her, but he did not wish to argue with her. He may physically be the same man, but emotionally, psychologically, he was different. he had missed three years of his life. They may as well not have existed in his mind, but they had caused such life altering things. He had changed the very laws of Camelot, he had gained the affection of a woman, he had created strong ties with others. How could he maintain all these bonds when he could not recall the very nature and essence of them. She suggested telling him and this was something Arthur would have to seriously consider. Even if it would prove to be a weakness on his part, it was the one way he could keep such ties. If these men were as loyal as she said they were, then they would understand . . . right? He noticed that she had not made specific mention of the woman he loved when talking of others unconditional loyalty and support.
So what about this woman? Would she wait for him to be the man she had fallen in love with? Would she wait for him to fall in love with her all over again? For he could not falsify such affections. He could not kiss her and have it lacking so much affection and sincerity. From what Guinevère had told him, they were very very close so Arthur could not help but wonder how she would take this news. It would mean that everything that they had worked for in the past three years was completely vacant from his mind. He wanted to ask more questions about her, but wondered if she would tell him anything more. She was so willing to talk about the knights, why not this mystery woman. He looked down for a moment when she finished speaking. Her words he knew were meant to alleviate the pressure placed on him to be the man who he was, but it did not. By no fault of her own. She was being honest with him and he was grateful for it.
When he collected his thoughts enough, he looked at her once more as he began to speak. "I feel I must be that man," he admitted. If Camelot were to prosper, for in this state, he did not even feel confident enough to be king. "Not only for the sake of friends, but for the sake of Camelot." He did not know how he was going to do this. With the support of friends, with the support of the woman he loved and . . . with the support of Guinevère. He already knew just how lost he would have been without her. Suddenly as the thought of the woman he loved resurfaced in his mind, he could not longer resist the urge to ask yet another question pertaining to her. "Do you think, that the woman I love will understand, and be willing to wait for me?" To fall in love with her again. To be the man she fell in love with. While Arthur felt a bit awkward talking so openly about this 'love' he had for another . . . what choice did he have? It was better to find out as much as he could from Guinevère before confronting her with the truth of his condition.
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Post by Guinevère on Apr 13, 2011 21:35:34 GMT -5
When he told her he had to be that man for both his friends and for Camelot she smiled at him, and gave him an understanding nod of her head. "Just know that we are here." When he spoke about the woman he loved, but could not remember she smiled a bit brighter. She hoped by being happy and hopeful that he would begin to see the same emotions with in his self.
"Would you like to know something to give you hope?" She asked him, "Five kingdoms came together to create a large peace treaty. Gwant and Mercia and others, all came together in your kingdom to create peace." She knew it would seen like she was not answering his question but she was. "Someone--no one knows quite sure who or why--did not wish this. They knew if they put you under and enchantment that it would cause trouble. Lady Vivian and you were made to think you were madly in love. Because of this spell, you knew nothing of your feelings for another. Your true feelings."
"True love's kiss broke the enchantment, and you were freed from the spell in time to undo any damage done to the treaty." She smiled up at him and wished he would see the emotion there on her face and feel it in his heart. "I think that she has waited for you for three years, and not all of it has been easy. I think that she would wait another twenty if it meant you could find you way back to her. She loves you Arthur. The man you were and the man you are, and the man I know you will be again. All you need to do is be true to who you are, and not let me or anyone else tell you who you are and what you should do."
"She will stand by you and love you as long as you do so. She'd done it for three years. Stop worrying about your friend's faith in you! We are not about to abandon you in your hour of need! If anything we will close ranks and support you more while you find your feet!"
(¯`v´¯) .`·.¸.·´ ♥ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.♥
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Apr 14, 2011 14:14:22 GMT -5
Arthur braced himself for what she was about to tell him. While she said that it would give him hope, he was still unsure, just as he was about everything tonight. It started off with something good at least. To hear that all the kingdoms had come together and signed a massive peace treaty; it was the beginning of a new era. It was the first time that Camelot would be so strongly allied with others. It was -- the story went quickly downhill as Guinevère began to explain that he was enchanted to fall in love with Vivian. What was it with people enchanting the Pendragons?! First his father was enchanted to fall in love with a troll, then him with the daughter of a king. He had heard of Lady Vivian, and he also knew of her father. Her, very protective father. So Arthur did not need to ask why the spell had been case on him. He knew full well the logic of it; someone wanted to see the kingdom at odds with one another. What he did want to know was how far it had gone. She was still smiling, so he could only assume that everything had ended on a fairly good note.
It was only until he heard how the spell was broken that . . . well, he was not sure what to think or feel about that. It seemed that this woman had to go through quite a bit, from witnessing him almost get married, to seeing him intimate with another woman when he already loved her. Arthur could not doubt it when Guinevère spoke of how much she loved him, for even just these moments she told him about certainly put truth to her words. Guinevère's conviction in everyone's unwavering faith in him, was reassuring yet, still pressuring. He could not do anything about the pressure part, other than strive to be someone that they would be proud to call their sovereign. Right now, he did not know who he was. His actions that she spoke of it did not sound like him, yet the more she explained them the more he began to understand. He gave a very faint smile, amazed at the transition she was able to create from shocked, to devastated, to now . . . hopeful -- dare he say. "Sounds like you know her very well," Arthur said in a low voice. thinking aloud. He was still trying to figure out in his mind who it could be. Instead of feeling only nervous to meet he, he was beginning to feel . . . anxious.
Anxious to see a woman so devoted to him; a woman who had taught him the meaning of love, for three years ago -- the time where Arthur's mind was set in -- he knew nothing of this kind of love. He wondered if one glance at her would bring forth a rush of all those emotions; help him remember. Maybe that was all he would need to reverse this . . . whatever this was. "I need to see her Guinevère. Please." This time, it was a softly -- yet almost desperate -- request, rather than a harsh command. He had heard so much about her, he wanted to, needed to see her. "You have told me so much about her. I just . . . please tell me her name." He hoped she would. She had stood by him when he had been enchanted -- probably not having known during the enchantment -- and her kiss, of true love was what broke it. True love. Something that Arthur had not thought he'd found, but apparently had. And now, he wished to see the woman . . . his one true love.
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Post by Guinevère on Apr 14, 2011 21:00:33 GMT -5
Guinevère's heart was breaking at the need in this voice and in his face. She wanted to tell him it was her! She wanted to wrap him in her arms and swear that she would fin a way to make everything alright and the only thing he had to do was trust her. She would ask nothing of him that he could not give and she'd prove her self all over again. Yet she was afraid. So very afraid that he had a girl like Sophie or Vivian in his mind and that a dark servant would give him a shock. What if he laughed at the idea? What if he did not approve of it?
"Dawn," She whispered back and looked down at her hands, "I beg of you, Arthur. Give em til dawn! What would knowing her name do for you in this moment? What if the name I give you disappoints you? What if she is nothing like the women in your past nor the one you're building in your mind? What if by giving you a name, or you seeing her for what she is gives you pause?"
"She could stay by your side thought everything, yet I think the look of disappointment in your eyes would be the undoing of her. Give it time. See if you can not find out who is in your heart on your own. Tell me Arthur . . . . . is there no woman you can think of that stirs you? That makes you smile? That gives you peace?"
(¯`v´¯) .`·.¸.·´ ♥ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.♥
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Post by Arthur Pendragon on Apr 16, 2011 16:47:26 GMT -5
Dawn. Arthur was growing to hate that word. Though it was the time that this whole memory loss was predicted to reverse itself. Still; he could not quite accept it. Why was it so important to protect the identity of this woman, when Guinevère had practically revealed all else to him. All that was missing was a name. Just as she vocalized her pleading to not ask, he had done the same to know. They could debate about this for quite some time -- as Arthur was not willing to let it go. It was so very important to him. They may very well spend the entire night -- until dawn ironically -- talking about this very woman. "You have built her up," Arthur said in a soft voice. He did not say the words in an accusatory way, but more so, a further way to beg her to tell him who it was. He would have known nothing about her when he first woke up, but Guinevère had told him. Granted, he had inquired about her, but still. Guinevère had told him how wonderful the woman thought that he was, and in turn, he thought she was wonderful as well. For standing by him all those times, for breaking enchantments for him, for being supportive and understanding.
How could he be anything but excited to meet a woman who had already been through so much for him; with him. "If all that you have told me is true, then how can I possibly be disappointed?" He liked to think that he was not that shallow. Yes, some women attracted him more than others, but was that not the way of everyone? From what Guinevère had told them about the nature of their relationship . . . he doubted he would forget any of it when he lay eyes on the woman. She was internally beautiful, and Arthur truly doubted she was some sort of hideous beast that would make him turn away instantly. He would not forget what she had done for him, even if he did not feel it right away. Surely, he would know that there was something special about her . . . something that captivated him. He was so very anxious to meet her, he needed to! He needed to somehow convince Guinevère that it would only be a good thing for him to see her. She did not seem to have any opposition to him taking to the other knights, and she was incredibly close to them. How much closer could she be to this woman for her to protect her in such a way?
"I can not be disappointed by her," he reiterated, wanting Guinevère to understand -- hopefully -- that he was not that shallow. Of course, it was still a risk, but if he had known her then, why be disappointed now after hearing all the incredible things about her. "You have told me too many wonderful things for me to be disappointed." Arthur thought pensively after hearing Guinevère's question. He did not want to say the wrong name. There were women who did indeed bring him peace, but not in the way of intimate love. He would have named Morgana in a heartbeat, but he now knew the truth about her; it only made the pain of her betrayal stronger. He could have named friends, such as Sasha, who he did not see as a woman he loved beyond anything but friendship. Was it strange of him to think of Guinevère as a woman who granted him peace, as she was currently the one comforting him while he found out about the most difficult things. The things that would forever remain to be the hardest truths he would ever have to discover and endure. The unimaginable pain it caused him to learn he had a sister, one that he did not know about, and that the man who kept it from him for his entire life was his father; and that the woman who fit this role was a traitor.
And during all this, he had felt a strong sense of comfort from Guinevère. But, he knew better than to vocalize this. It was not her; and she had a man in her life which only showed how impossible it was. So who then? Who could it be? He had realized something from her words and wondered if it would help at all in narrowing things down in his mind. "You mean to say, that I already knew her at the time?" He asked as both a question and a statement. He already knew her, in terms of what he recalled before his memories were cut off. She asked him to search his mind, think of someone who he could name. She knew that his memory was lacking . . . which meant that as far back as he could remember, he had known her then. But, he had not been in love with her. His feelings had somehow grown during these past few years and Arthur wanted to know who had changed him in this way. Who had taught him what it was to love someone. It only led him back to the question of who and why was Guinevère protecting this woman so much. It was clear she knew her well, that the only explanation of how she knew so much about her was that they had become friends. But . . . he was still desperate to know.
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