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Post by Sasha on Nov 4, 2010 9:21:16 GMT -5
"I would, to be honest," she nodded, looking away to avoid ye contact with Gladys. She was being nice, yes, but why did she care so much? It wasn't her problem. Still, she appreciated her concern. "I would go through hell. Literally."
"Yes, I would take it even at the cost of my... life," she said the word after hesitating. When Gladys entioned of a secret, indicating it was extremely important, Sasha wondered if she could keep it. It was hard enough keeping her own secret safe, but if it ahd something to do with Arthur she felt she needed to know.
Did Gladys know of someone who was going to betray him in the future? If so, then she couldn't keep that secret. She'd say she could, of course, just to hear it, but in the end the secret would reach Arthur's ears first before she had time to even process it. "You can trust me. I shared my secret with you," she nodded respectfully to the physician's wife.
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Post by Sasha on Nov 3, 2010 23:03:53 GMT -5
"I wouldn't advise you arrest her anyway. She wouldn't be expecting it, and I'm sure I could handle it," the Lady Sasha told him. He then mentioned to phrase her explanation to the King carefully, and she nodded slighty. "I'll think of the right words before morning. I can get very nervous with high ranks, so I'll be sweating... but at least I'll explain things right."
She gave a smile when he promised he'd never let any harm come to her. She was sure it was his duty to ensure that for everyone, but it was good to hear it straight from the Prince himself... when he didn't have to in the first place. "Thank you, my Lord," she dipped her head to him, feeling now would be a good time to say those proper words. It made her sound like she meant it more than just calling him by solely his first name. Good potential in that.
When Arthur told her about how magic was still banned in Camelot, and that his father had done what he believed was best for the Kingdom, Sasha corrected herself nervously, "I-I didn't mean for it to sound that way, Arthur!" She began, worried about what he was thinking of her at that moment. It also wasn't a lie, she truly supported the King in his actions... it was just that most probably didn't. "I am one of the few who realize he did what was best. They were harsh penalties indeed, but I say that if one didn't want it to come to them, don't commit the crime in the first place. That's only asking for trouble. I'm sorry, Arthur, I didn't mean for it to sound like that."
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Post by Sasha on Nov 2, 2010 2:22:06 GMT -5
"That's what they say, but... we really don't know what some people are capable of," Lady Sasha said to the physician's wife. "It's not only that, someone close to him could betray him. Those are just my concerns, though.” Her true concerns. She had recently begun to wonder if her concerns were linked to something she dreaded meeting up with... possibly love? It wasn't impossible. The Prince would be her first, if so. She didn't want that at all, especially if something happened to him. She didn't want to loose her sanity like her mother! That just wasn't who she was.
“Now that I think about, I don't think I want him to care about me that much,” she told Gladys Salver. This was the borderline of personal feelings, she would not ever let a stranger know about her tender feelings. She had heard stories from her mother about how love could make one weak. “If you know what I mean.”
Gladys, I am not sweet, let me tell you, Sasha cast her a sad look.
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Post by Sasha on Nov 2, 2010 1:33:37 GMT -5
Sasha had gone for a walk and was just returning. It was evening, but to be specific, it was twilight. On that walk she had explored the city of Camelot, ressurecting old memories and doing a bit of sulking about them. But in the end, it had been worth it.
The Lady Sasha had gone alone, so she could concentrate better. In those times when remembering things of her past she needed to be alone and focus. Just completely focus.
She could see the castle from where she was in the city, and she studied it for a moment. Perhaps Arthur would still be awake. She hoped he was, because she wanted to talk with him for a few minutes. Then, she set off in it's direction. Hopefully it wouldn't take long, she hated being out at night in civilized places.
Just exiting the city, she felt as if someone was close by. She hated that! She had good ears, too. She heard the normally soundless footsteps coming from... somewhere. She couldn't tell where. They also didn't sound in any way threatening, where as someone who wished to both her would walk a certain way... so that calmed her a bit. Sasha still wanted to know who it was though.
Setting: Camelot City
Time of Day: Twilight
Timeline: After The Once and Future Queen
Tag: Merlin Caradoc
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Post by Sasha on Nov 2, 2010 1:04:38 GMT -5
Sasha was very surprised that Arthur knew Lancelot. Well, that was a coincidence. "Oh, really," she nodded slightly, impressed at the coincidence.
When Sasha heard Arthur's humourous yet serious advice about meeting with the King the next morning, she dipped her head. "I can understand that," she agreed with him. Arthur brought up the fact that King Uther would want to know why her mother hadn't accompanied her, and why she doesn't know Sasha had left.
"Actually... the reason I didn't let her know I was leaving... is because she was abusive to me. Both physically and emotionally. She just really changed after my father's death," Sasha answered him, explaining carefully. "She would never have let me leave if she had known, and so on and so forth... Of course I'd never take up the King's time by explaining all of this in detail."
She tried to recover the original atmosphere of humour, and thankfully it worked. "I know he's done some things far back in the past, but you don't know how glad I'm going to be to see him," she smiled. That was the truth; she would be very happy. Should she have mentioned that in front of the King's son? She suddenly wondered, worried. She hoped he wouldn't be offended in some way by that. Well, at least she wasn't a liar and had she not just said that she'd be very grateful to see him again?
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Post by Sasha on Nov 1, 2010 1:56:05 GMT -5
Sasha listened to his words about facing her depression. "I've tried before, but... I just don't have the courage to face it. As you probably know, man or woman we'd still be afraid to face their depression and past... especially in my case," she explained to him. "Know what I mean?"
"Truly, I think everyone deserves respect. For instance, when someone of very high ranking treats a commoner like nothing I can't help but think that's foolishness. I've been to ranks lower than a commoner, and yet everyone shows me respect just for my blood." She talked on. Wait, was she going on too long? "Well, you're doing good so far. I don't think it's possible for a man such as you to mess up." She half meant that last part, because she didn't exactly know him enough to mean it.
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Post by Sasha on Nov 1, 2010 1:15:16 GMT -5
Sasha was glad when Arthur indicated with his words that he wasn't angry with her for using humour around a serious question. It let her enter a whole new level of comfortableness around the Prince.
The former nomad Sasha heard the curiosity in the Prince's voice as he asked why the man hadn't escorted her all the way. "I requested he take me to the gate and stop there," she answered him and then added with a smile. "I wanted to have the glory of finishing my quest alone, but I didn't tell him that." She wondered if she should ask if Arthur knew him, but chances were he wouldn't. "His name was Lancelot. Are you familiar with him? Probably not, right?" Sasha questioned.
Out of nowhere, the thought of King Uther popped into her head. How would he react to seeing her in the morning? Not a bad reaction, she was sure of that. After all, why wouldn't Uther be happy to see that the daughter of a strong and noble Knight had come back after fifteen years? "How do think Uther will react to seeing me back in the morning?" She inquired softly, her lime green eyes glimmering with curiosity and the moderate emotion of excitement. "I'm sure he would be welcoming to the daughter of a loyal Knight. But I'd like to hear it from you." She really looked forward to his answer.
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Post by Sasha on Oct 31, 2010 18:28:37 GMT -5
Sasha saw the surprise, and heard it expressed in his question. "No, I just left it at that to see your surprise," she chuckled very slightly, not knowing how the Prince would take a joke but daring anyway. She became more serious in voice. "Along the way I found a few men willing escort me to certain points so I didn't have to walk the entire way. In fact there was this man who escorted me to the gates of Camelot from the Forest of Balor."
Hopefully he wouldn't have a bad reaction to it, even though it was just an innocent joke. She had heard Prince's were sometimes touchy with things like this. "That wasn't to make you upset in any way," she told him calmly.
From there, she waited for his response, expecting it to be good.
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Post by Sasha on Oct 31, 2010 1:45:45 GMT -5
Once at the top of the steps, Sasha gave her answer, "No. I walked the whole way." More than ever, she wanted something to eat. She had felt lightheaded before, of course, but it didn't mean she liked it.
Sasha couldn't help but enjoy holding Arthur's hand; it made her even more grateful to have made it back to Camelot without starving. She was reunited with her friend.
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Post by Sasha on Oct 31, 2010 0:44:12 GMT -5
Though she didn't show it too much, she was amused by his jokingly words. When he lead her away from the shadows and toward the castle, Sasha was very aware of the guards glares. Were they wary of her? Who wouldn't be wary of a stranger, though? But she was with the Prince... and she was so weak she was surprised she hadn't fallen down on the ground motionless.
When they started to walk up the many steps that lead to the castle doors, Arthur turned around slightly and offered his hand to help her up the stairs. Sasha took it gladly, with a smile.
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Post by Sasha on Oct 30, 2010 18:04:16 GMT -5
"I'm pretty sure it was not an accident, though I didn't want him dead either," the Lady Sasha answered Gladys. Why wasn't she trying to run? "At least from what I remember I used his own sword to kill him. I don't rememember it clearly, but I know enough to know that."
Truth was she didn't want Peter dead at all; she had a very close relationship with him and it literally broke her. "Do I have a close relationship with Arthur? Well... when I was a child I did. Maybe he doesn't consider me close, but I do," Sasha explained, a chill running down her spine again. Probably the cold air, for she was still wet. "I don't know what I'd do if something really happened to him. He's my only friend in Camelot." She hadn't meant to say that! It was the truth, but nobody needed to know her feelings! "Of course, I'd move on. Possibly bother in keeping his memory alive."
Sasha hoped that would throw Gladys off a bit. "I don't remember what triggered me to kill my father, but I did it," she added darkly. "As I said, I slit his throat with his own sword."
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Post by Sasha on Oct 30, 2010 7:42:13 GMT -5
"I know... but at least depression has never broken me," she said to Lancelot, her eyes almost about to water from the memories. Why had she done the things she did? Her life could have been wonderful!
No! No! Hold it in, Sasha. You don't want him to know your true pain, she snapped at herself. Sasha couldn't wait to get off this subject. "I'm thankful she at least did that for me," she faked a smile at Sir Lancelot.
She heard Lancelot say that she needn't treat him like a noble, and that triggered a few thoughts that she wanted to let out but knew it was forbidden for her sake. Well, look at me, Lancelot. I'm a traitor, and you're closer to nobility than I'd ever be. "I don't look down on anyone, so I feel I should respect you," she said with a genuine smile. That was the truth, because she was the lowest of the low. "After all, you're escorting me to Camelot when you don't have to, you know. That's another good reason I should show you respect."
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Post by Sasha on Oct 29, 2010 18:06:47 GMT -5
She doesn't understand what I might have told her, Sasha thought. Yet this woman was so hard to ignore! She couldn't help but want to admit the truth... but who would want to admit what she was about to say?
Sasha sighed, her heart pounding with the stress of deciding. Sasha would admit her crimes. "I-I..." She became infuriated at herself for stammering. This was about her admitting to a bloody crime! Not stammering like a scared lost kitten! "I killed my father! That's why she hates me. As I was saying, she wanted to get back at me for killing him by telling me that the Prince had been killed by a druid. That hurt me more than anything."
Sasha now didn't care if Gladys was frightened by the truth behind her seemingly innocent eyes, all she had to do was leave and never go to Willowdale again. Gladys would probably be too afraid to tell on her anyway. You never knew what a murderer would do.
Even though she'd never do anything like that again, Gladys had no way of knowing that.
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Post by Sasha on Oct 29, 2010 17:50:20 GMT -5
Sasha had never been told that often. So when Arthur said this, it meant a lot to her. Surely her mother would never give the time to even say she looked nice. Sasha couldn't really much more on the subject, but she made sure she gave him a genuine smile.
Arthur mentioned about her getting comfortable in one of the guest rooms. Right then, she realized how much her body ached from all the travel that she had been forced to do on foot. It was in the time of two weeks, but still. She also needed something to eat. If the Prince could see how slim she was, he'd probably make sure she ate before anything.
"My Lord," she started, "will you be able to give me anything to eat before I sleep? I don't think I can go another night without a meal if it's unnecessary."
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Post by Sasha on Oct 29, 2010 1:25:58 GMT -5
"I have tried to force myself, but personally I always gave up because I don't think it's worth remembering. I mean, at the time, I was thinking it's all over so what's the point of getting even more depressed, as if it wasn't bad enough," The nomad Sasha explained to him. This was very true, of course.
When Lancelot asked how life was with her mother, she started to explain to him right away with confidence he'd understand, “As I stated before, it wasn't that good. Sometimes she was very nice to me, like she used to be, but not usually.” She took a moment to think about his second question. “She made sure I ate first, but since there wasn't much I didn't get to eat as much as I would have hoped. Neither did she, but she made sure she fed me more than herself.”
She dipped her head to him. “Yes, you are right,” she agreed. “There was little hope that I would prove myself to my mother, yet I did get pretty far while defending myself. But aside from my wounds, my mother said that she hated that I was so much like my father. I don't plan on doing something like that again unless it was to protect someone I cared about.”
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Post by Sasha on Oct 28, 2010 5:23:55 GMT -5
Sasha looked at Gladys with an almost dependent look on her face. And she called only that part not nice of her mother? To say the least, she'd rather that have been the only thing that Delilah had done. What would she do if she could be sure her mother's words were a curse? She didn't know. “I-I don't know,” the Lady Sasha stammered and winced as a small breeze picked up and then dropped, causing her to feel the coldness of the water that was still held in her green dress. She started shaking quickly out of horror, and but then looked at Gladys and realized how she probably looked. She was throwing away her dignity, as if she hadn't already! Sasha looked away embarrassed, avoiding eye contact, and then started squeezing out her dress so it just mostly damp.
“Ummm... that's not all. The only reason I treat this situation like it is a curse is because everything my mother ever said is the truth. She wouldn't tell me a lie, except when she wanted to get back at me for... no, never mind that.” Sasha's voice trailed off. She was about to admit that she had murdered her father! How stupid could she have been?
Yes, Gladys was being very kind to her but would that last if she blurted out that she was caring for a murderer? No. Unless she didn't care, which was highly unlikely. “So yes, I'm petrified of water and I'm sorry you had to see me over react.” The noblewoman said abruptly, not meaning the last part.
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Post by Sasha on Oct 28, 2010 1:13:43 GMT -5
"I don't remember it very well, except the bad parts." Sasha explained to him. Bad parts as in her father's death and how it was her fault, and how she had fought a griffin in an attempt to prove her strength and loyalty to her mother. Such a foolish thing to do, fighting a griffin as a child and expecting to win and gain her mother's love.
Words couldn't describe how glad she was to hear that she'd be properly fed when she got to Camelot. Honestly, she hadn't truly been properly fed since she left Camelot at seven-years-old. It had been alright, her mother killing animals and stealing if necessary, but it just wasn't a proper meal. "Oh... thank god, I haven't had a good meal in a long time. Even when I lived with my mother." She exclaimed with excitement.
Sasha smiled down at Lancelot. "I am glad I survived the fight. The reason I went looking for it, like a fool, is because it was just another failed attempt to prove myself to my mother. Also, when I was a child and even now, I like to dare myself to impossible things such as that." She told him, some parts with a very slight chuckle. Why did she trust Lancelot? She had just met him. Sasha could usually sense those things in a man or woman by their body movements. For instance, if someone was lying she'd know right away... because they'd glance to the left. See what happened when she had a lot of time to herself? "I'm brave like my father, if I had to be.”
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Post by Sasha on Oct 27, 2010 18:33:10 GMT -5
Sasha let the physician's wife guide her a few feet away from the pond, half of the reason because she was still dazed from the water. She sat down, and shaking as she remembered her fall into the water. Considering what Gladys had just said, Sasha began to explain slightly briefly, her voice shaking, "When I left my mother, she was furious at me. It means nothing at all to me, but she told me 'Water will destroy you!'. No. I... believe it's true, and it the water terrifies me because of it."
Had she just admitted that her mother's "prophecy" was true to a stranger? Yes, she knew her name, but that didn't mean she trusted her. She didn't trust anyone... except Arthur, who is the only surviving childhood friend that she actually decided was worth it. Well, it was out there. She couldn't take the words back even if she wanted to.
Maybe it was for a reason, thats he had blurted the truth out for no real reason. She hadn't been forced, she had a choice all along and she hadn't taken it. She planned to say more of the truth later, but not now. Sasha wanted to let Gladys take in this bit.
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Post by Sasha on Oct 27, 2010 5:33:53 GMT -5
"Well, he'd probably recognize me from my eyes, that's the one thing tht hasn't changed about me," she answered Lancelot. "What I mean by no self image is that my childhood is sort of... blocked out in my head."
"I'm sorry," Sasha looked at him sympathetically when he told her about his own experiences. At least he knew what great loss truly was, and that he had shared her pain. "I know what loss feels like," she winced as a memory of when her mother told her of her father's murder. "Trust me on that."
Sasha took in his question about how she had survived the wilderness from Camelot and far beyond, and then took a few silent moments to prepare herself the explanation. "Well, that's only partly true. I was forced, yes. But it wasn't by a loss. I haven't gotten a chance to tell anyone this, and probably won't for a long time." Then, she began the real explaining. "Ever since my father's death, my mother has been acting a little strange. Well... not a little. She changed completely, and abused me physically and verbally. I never understood it completely until the day I left, so I had always tried to prove myself to her over and over again but she only saw my weaknesses. And finally, I must ask you never to repeat what I'm about to say to anyone. Not even your closest friend, whoever that may be. I'm trusting you because you're being so nice to me. When I began to set off out of my own personal force, my mother was furious and gave me this strange sentence, 'Water will destroy you!'. I ignore it mostly, but until I find out where she got that strange impression I want it to remain only yours and my knowledge. Understand?" She had said this all very calm, only showing the slightest hint of seriousness in her green eyes toward the end. "It wasn't hard surviving thanks to my father's words, I relied on him back there. I was forced to eat little, and when I actually did get to eat it was either taking an animal's freshly killed prey. I'm not much of a scavenger. So here I am, long story short."
"I'm familiar with the gryffin!" Sasha said friendlily back as semi-good memories came to mind. "I fought a gryffin at twelve. Of course I didn't win, and I ended up getting seriously injured. I still have the scar, but I'm glad it's hidden from view. It is a mark of bravery, though. And experience."
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Post by Sasha on Oct 27, 2010 1:08:23 GMT -5
"I have no self opinion so I can't really say what I think I looked like then," Sasha slightly smiled at him, more of a content emotion.
Again, she listened to Lancelot's words. "My father always said that when one is not supported for their desires they go farther than the others ever did," Sasha gave him a encouraging look. "This sounds weird to you, I'm sure, but it always helped me." Remembering her own situation, she added with a smile, "How do you think I survived this long out here?"
The nomad Sasha let three moments pass, and then continued to an even more needed question. "For the future, do you know of the names, or looks, of the creatures that you warned me about before?" She inquired.
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