The Aftermath (Merlin)

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She lay still and silent in the dim moonlight that filtered into the room, trying to keep from moving as much as possible in order to minimize the pain. Every movement, every shift, even the clothing she wore touched the pustules and made her body shudder with pain. Gaius gave her medicine to keep her as comfortable as possible, but it couldn't stop all of the pain.

Merlin had bargained his own life to save the prince, but the gods had seen fit to strike her down instead. She still clung to what hope she could, that he would find a way ,as he had promised, to fix this. She trusted him and knew that he would protect her if a way existed. It saddened her, though, that protecting her this time would probably mean he'd never return, that he *would* give his life. She could only take comfort in knowing that someday, somehow, she *would* see him again.

She felt strange and surprised, though, when she started to actually feel better. She no longer felt the heat of the fever, and the lesions on her skin were slowly beginning to grow smaller. She still hurt, but the pain was slowly but surely receding. She was no physician, but it seemd that somehow, the illness was reversing itself.

How?she wondered. How was he able to change this? The Old Religion cannot be bargained with or influenced, it takes its payment when and where it will. And yet, Merlin...my beautiful boy...somehow he has managed to stop it, to alter the course of what was begun.

[pie]

Merlin had bee successful, thankfully! He had wet to the Isle of the Blessed all in an attempt to save Arthur's life. He had succeeded, but magical miracles always had consequences, as he had quickly found out. He had offered his life to save his fried, but instead it tried to take his mother's, which was no part of the deal. In another attempt to change fate, he had gone back to the Isle, after Gaius, who was intent to do it himself so Merlin didn't die, and all in the end, he managed to kill Nimueh.

And reverse the spell.

Now he returned to Camelot with Gaius, eager, anxious, to see his mother, to make sure that she was okay with his own eyes, for he still didn't know exactly if it had worked. As soon as they entered the town, Merlin abandoned his horse and Gaius and ran all the way home. Throwing the door open, he burst into the room frantically, and one worried, high-pitched shout came forth from his mouth in the same instant, "Mom?!"

She had to be okay!

[ Crappily short, but... it will have to do. ]

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She had drifted off to sleep, finally able to breathe easily and rest without discomfort. There were still many questions in her mind, but the battle had taken a lot out of her and she had been very tired in the end. Still, she woke quickly when Merlin entered, relief flowing into her that Merlin had returned, that he was alive. Briefly, she wondered about Gaius as well, since she did not see her brother as yet, but naturally, her main focus was Merlin.

She still had a degree of the illness, but it would not take long to see that she was much improved. Still, she found it difficult to comprehend how he had been able to do it, how powerful her son truly was, that he could accomplish these things. Her eyes focused on him as he came to the bed, a tired smile on her face.

"Merlin...you...you are alive. How...I am awed. Every time I see you...you astonish me. You become more than I could ever imagine. I think that...that I have been gifted as well, to have brought such a remarkable son into this world..."

[pie]

When Merlin saw his mom, saw she was alright, he almost lost it, emotionally. He rushed forward towards the bed, and leaned down to hug her. And he didn't want to let go for anything. The whole time he had been worried for her, worried that he would fail and that he would lose her. That was an unbearable thought. The knowledge of what had happened to save Arthur still pained him. Though he wouldn't have been able to let Arthur die either.

He was profoundly relieved that his mom was okay, that he had set aside the magic upon her by killing Nimueh. That the Old Religion's effects could be countered and turned. Though, the knowledge of what the magic could do, of its potential, frightened him just a little bit. Still, he didn't think it evil, and it only strengthened his belief that it could be used for good or evil, whatever the user's intent was.

"Mom," he said in a choked whisper, "You're okay. Oh thank God, you're okay! I was so worried! I'm so sorry about what I put you through! It's over now, and Nimueh can't hurt anyone ever again!"

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She tried not to wince, but could not suppress a gasp. The skin lesions were going away, but she still felt some pain from them yet. Still, she felt stronger and breathed easier, happily returning her son's embrace. She could not stop herself from trembling or stop the sobs that shook her form. Merlin's goodbye was still vivid in her mind, and she had struggled to accept what seemed inevitable, that she would not see him again until she journeyed to the next world. But somehow, some way he had returned. She held tightly to him, ignoring the remaining pain., like him, not wanting to let go for anything.

She had feared at first, uncertain who might have had to die for her to live, and she could not help being, in a sense, sad for Nimueh, even though she had caused so much pain. If another way had existed, she would have hoped Merlin would find it, and she'd known he would have. But perhaps it was, in a sense, justice, Nimueh was paying for her crimes and the hurt she had caused.

"Merlin...I cannot believe you've come back. You will never stop amazing me, as long as I'm alive. How...how were you able to do it? I do not know how it was made possible, but I am so proud. I know that I've been given a great honor to have you as my son...I would ask for no more in my life."

[pie]

When his mother began trembling and sobbing, he only hugged her tighter, not able to stop his own tears from falling down his face. How worried he had been for her, how scared he had been that he would fail and lose her. It had all seemed so impossible, even now, after he had killed Nimueh. How had he done it? He still didn't know how he had done that spell, or what exactly he had did.

He didn't want to let go of his mother for anything, particularly in his current mood. Oh how happy he was that she was okay! What would he have done has she not been? If he had lost her? He knew that he would probably sulk for quite a while, not even caring what anyone thought about it -- particularly Arthur --, or maybe even something worse. But he was glad that he didn't have to worry about that, that she was okay.

"All it took was killing Nimueh. Gaius had gone to try and take my place, I was intent on giving my life for yours, as that was how it was suppose to be to begin with... And I saw him, and thought he was dead, Nimueh though he was dead too, I'm sure, and I got so angry, and... I'm not quite sure what happened next, I don't know how I did it, but... I used magic without really realizing it, and somehow commanded the power of life and death, and took hers to save yours."

He couldn't deny that the thought of taking someone's life like that, even if he was glad it saved his mother's, kind of frightened him. To have commanded such powerful magic, to control the power of life and death that easily... was scary indeed. He felt a shiver run through him as he remembered those moments...

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She obviously couldn't read his mind, but many of the same thoughts were running through her mind. She'd been able to infer that Gaius had tried to do the same thing as Merlin, to give his own life to save her, even without seeing the letter he'd left. She'd seen him come back to his chambers, wet and shivering and weak, able to stop and check on her briefly but then needing to dry off and rest. She thought he'd be lucky not to take ill in the next few days.

She listened to Merlin's story, in awe yet again of her son's power as he described what had happened. She had never been totally sure just how far his abilities reached, but this was a thing that was difficult to grasp, even though it was Merlin. Were he not her son, she would almost feel frightened of him. She knew, though, that he would fight to his dying breath to protect her, and she felt only joy and amazement to have been given the honor of bringing him into the world.

It was difficult to know what to say, to find the words to respond to him after he quieted.

"I can still hardly believe it...how powerful you are. Perhaps...perhaps your love and your determination not to lose either of us drove you to be able. But however it happened, I am glad that you were successful. Are you all right, Merlin? I know that you did what was necessary, but I know it must weigh on you even so...it is hard even for fighting men when they must take a life."