Royal Pain in the Posterior

[Arthur Pendragon]

Really? REALLY?! Arthur was not happy about this. Of all the men that could be his servants . . . his father had assigned the town's idiot. Granted, he did save the Prince's life, but Arthur's pride stood in the way of accepting him. Especially after he had called him a prat, and an ass. Arthur was not willing to forgive him that easily, and this was going to be apparent in which tasks he was going to make him do. He had to give him a tour of the castle, or well, the necessary places. He was going to give him hell! As if throwing him in the dungeon and fighting him with a mace was not enough. No. He was going to make him regret the day he insulted him. Oh how this was going to be so exciting!

It was morning, and the Prince was waiting for his new victim, aka servant to arrive. Though he was not late, Arthur would make a big deal about his lack of punctuality. Anything negative he could find to say to him, he was going to say it. He supposed the proper thing to do was to thank the peasant for saving his life . . . but Arthur was not that kind, not right now anyway. He felt like tormenting someone, and that someone would be Merlin Caradoc.


_{Setting: Camelot Castle
Time of Day: Morning, around 7:00 am
Timeline: Shortly after The Dragon's Call, Merlin's first day on the job
Tag: Merlin Caradoc}

[pie]

Merlin was now convinced that helping people only got him into worse situations (didn't mean he'd stop though). He saved Prince Arthur's life, and now he was his personal Servant?! What worse "reward" could there be? The man was a complete prat! Royal or not, he still had no ounce of kindness in him! Or so Merlin was concerned. Now he would be forced to do his chores, to! WOW, what an honor!

He'd have to at least try and be respectful. He didn't want to wind up in the dungeons again, or the stocks - though that had been quite fun, he had to admin - and nor did he want Gaius to scold him again for not thinking first. So he had got up on time, got ready, and headed out the door to meet his inevitable death, as far as he cared. He just knew this was going to be an absolutely terrible day for him... along with all the others, he was sure.

Making his way to where he was intended to meet the Prince, Merlin made sure to go as slow as possible without going so slow that he would be late. He didn't want to give the Prince something to nag about on the first day, as if they would get along anyway... Seriously, what kind of awful idea was it to put them together in such a relationship??

[Arthur Pendragon]

FINALLY! The idiot had decided to show up. He wasn't technically late, but Arthur was already giving him hell on his first day. As he had already decide, this was going to be his revenge would which be far more satisfying then merely throwing him in the stocks. He just looked at him, folding his arms across his chest. "I expect to see you every morning from now on, on time. I should never have to send for you each morning. You are my servant, you will come on time, every day." His tone was rude, authoritative, and spoken like a true spoiled prince. Merlin looked incapable; weak. How was he going to help with his training?! He had seen the man with a mace . . . it was pitiful.

He was not going to waste any time, and so began right away, whether Merlin was ready for it or not. "As my servant, you will be told to do many things. Cleaning my room, waiting on me, running errands, helping me train, mucking out my stables -- " Arthur said this last task with a smirk, knowing it was not the most ideal or enjoyable duty. "Now, these are my chambers. As you can see, a great deal of work already needs to be done: laundry, sweeping, dusting, everything." He was not by any means going to go easy on him. "But I suppose the first thing I should do is give you a tour of the castle, so follow me, and try to keep up." This was going to be a very interesting day indeed.

[pie]

Yep, just one look at Arthur proved his suspicions. He was going to absolutely hate this day. As if just meeting him hadn't been worse, now he had to spend every day with him? He didn't know that he had done anything to deserve such a punishment! Honor it was not! Just the general atmosphere around the prince rang of pride and smugness. Yes, a complete prat, it was certain now.

Although he knew he had been on time! He could understand the prince not wanting to send someone for him every day, but he was definitely on time! "Well, how can I be on time if I am not told what time I should be here?" he asked stubbornly, refusing at this point to give in to his common sense. How could Gaius think that they would ever be able to get along? As long as Arthur was such a spoiled brat, Merlin would never be able to stand him.

And then the list of chores came. His mouth almost fell open, but he managed to keep it closed. Didn't he previously have a servant or something? Didn't anyone ever clean his room? Whoever it had been, if it had been anyone, Merlin envied that person - Free of the Prince. "I'm thrilled," he said sarcastically. "It sounds absolutely amazing. What fantastic still clean chambers you have... Sire," the last word wasn't really out of respect. He remained silent at the last comment, not saying whether or not he would keep up.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Had he really just said that to him? Arthur paused, and just looked at the pathetic excuse for a servant. He took a few steps towards him until he was directly in front of him. Arthur was trying to look intimidating for if he did not, it would make his next words seem empty and non threatening, when he was going for the opposite reaction. "I knew you were stupid, but I didn't know you were that stupid. Did you learn nothing from before?" So Merlin was more bold than Arthur gave him credit for. The first time he had stood up to him, he threw him in the dungeon. The second time, he had beat him with a broom. This time, he would take a different approach.

"You might want to watch what you say to me. Up till now, you have not known the meaning of work. I can either make this very pleasant for you," -- Which was not likely since Arthur was going to enjoy every second of torturing him -- "Or I can make it a hell on earth." He looked at him, a serious expression on his face. "The stocks, the dungeon, that was all temporary. This will be for the rest of your life, so you may want to consider that fact." He then took a step back and make his expression a little less serious; relaxing it some. His tone of voice also changed as it became more light, and an overly exaggerated kindness, as he wanted it to sound fake. "Now then, is there anything else you would like to say to me?" Had he learned his lesson? Or would this be the beginning of a very long next few days.

[pie]

If Merlin was strong enough, he'd punch him in the face, Prince or no. But alas, he wasn't, so that was out of the option unless he wanted to fail - it had failed the first time, after all. While he had been serious in what he had said, he knew that it would only anger the prince. He'd enjoy that while it lasted - he was going to be killed at some point if he went too far, even if not literally "killed".

And while Arthur did appear intimidating, it only served to fuel Merlin's irritation with the prince. He hadn't been around the man long enough to learn to hold his tongue, nor did he show the man any respect to deserve respect in the first place. "And I knew that you were a prat, but I didn't know you were a big prat," he answered. Yeah, also probably not a good response. Oh well, too late.

He wasn't worried about what Arthur would, or could, do to him right now. As long as he didn't find out he was a sorcerer, he would be fine. Or so he thought. In all reality, the prince had all the means of making his life hell - and getting away with it! A peasant couldn't do anything about it to when it dealt with royalty, especially the king's son himself!

Oh, so if he angered the prince, than he would make his workload harder? Well... Guess that was probably a bad thing. Didn't make him any less annoyed, though. Yes, especially since, like Arthur said, it would be for the rest of his life. "Though it's already hell," he mumbled. He knew the "kind" tone was fake. There was no way that he could possibly be sincere. It was... impossible. Holding in any more nasty remarks, he gave a small bow, and forced out, "No, I'm sorry Sire." Probably wouldn't be believed either, but hey, give him the satisfaction for all he cared....

[Arthur Pendragon]

Merlin's comments only reaffirmed what Arthur had initially said the second time they met; that there was something different about him. He had been foolishly courageous before, not knowing he was outmatched -- in Arthur's opinion anyway -- but this time, Arthur thought he was just plain foolish. The prince did not lash out though, despite being called a prat -- again! -- and the sarcasm that kept lacing Merlin's words. Instead, he just smiled, as he folded his arms across his chest. The level of calmness Arthur was on right now seemed too force; as if he was about to explode any second. He had warned Merlin, and the idiot did not heed to his words, so whatever followed from now . . . would only be Merlin's fault.

"Your tasks will also consist of scrubbing the floor, cleaning my shoes, exercising my dogs, grooming my horses . . . " Arthur could have gone on, but he purposely listed the more degrading chores he could think of. He wanted Merlin to be aware of what he was getting himself into, or what he was forced into rather. Perhaps it was a good thing his father assigned him as his personal servant. Though he did not like being insulted so . . . effortlessly as Merlin was doing. "If you think you're life is hell now, then you do not truly know the meaning of the word." Yes, it was a bit of a threat. Arthur was not by any means going to go easy on him.

"Now, you can start by picking up all my clothes." He had been planning to give Merlin a detailed tour of the castle, but may as well put him to work right away . . . doing something that Arthur could be amused at watching. Especially since his room was an absolute, atrocious mess. Arthur was definitely not the cleanest person and it was very evident in the way all his clothing and belongings were scattered throughout the room, managing to reach every corner of his large chamber.

[pie]

Well, at least his words didn't make the Prince lash out! he assured himself. Couldn't be long, though, if he kept it up. And it probably wasn't the best of ideas, but Merlin just didn't like Arthur. For all his attempts at seeing good in people, he just couldn't get past his initial dislike for the man. And it wouldn't be too easy doing otherwise anyway, when the whole time the prince kept demonstrating what made him not like him in the first place: arrogance. Well, what did you want from a prince?

His jaw dropped at the mention of the tasks at hand, and he knew that that was only a few of them. Yes, he would absolutely detest his time with Arthur. He began to think of all the possibilities of working under the man... perhaps he'd put a frog in his boots or under his pillow at some point in time. He didn't truly know the meaning of the word hell? "I see that..." he muttered.

He looked around the room, scanning it with his eyes. Seriously, how in the world did his room possibly manage to get this dirty? It was almost as if he purposely made it dirty, just so he could make others clean it! Well, he mind as well get it over with, so with a sideways glance at Arthur, he began to pick up pieces of clothing, walking around on his knees as he moved about, trying to ignore the fact that this had to be absolutely pleasing to the prince. Just go through with it, Merlin. Let him enjoy this, he'll stop eventually if you ignore it.

... He hoped.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur watched Merlin get on his knees and begin to clean. The sight was very amused indeed, but he held back his laughter and just stood there, leaning against the door, smirking at the scene in front of him. He was obedient -- which was good -- even if he had quite the mouth on him. Watching him work like this though was the ultimate satisfaction, and the ultimate revenge for him. Arthur decided that he could make it worse, and that he would make it worse. He went over to his drawers and dressers and began to take out some clothes. "Since your collecting all my laundry, I may as well give you everything."

He went one step further than just taking out the clothing. Instead of handing it to Merlin, or neatly putting it on the side, he began to throw it on the floor in his room. If it was not dirty before, then it certainly was now. He did of course leave at least a few pieces of clothing for the next couple of days, but majority of them, he was going to make Merlin wash. "Well, hurry it up then, I haven't got all day. Oh, and all of these need to be done by tomorrow." They didn't really have to be done by then, but if it was Merlin doing it, then they needed to be. Show no mercy; that would be his new motto when it came to this idiot.

[pie]

He crawled around the room on his knees, purposefully reminding himself not to look at Arthur to see any satisfied or victorious expression the spoiled prince might have. He felt silly enough piling clothes in his arms, and then going back to put them in a pile he had started as far away from Arthur as he could. He would be damned before he would see all these clothes scattered back across the floor! It was dirty enough!

Then as if his job wasn't hard or annoying enough already, Arthur claimed he was going to give him everything for the laundry. And it wasn't a lie! Merlin watched, devastated and completely annoyed, as the prince threw all of it across the room! There was even more clothes to pick up than before! He opened his mouth to retort, but shut it and gave him a forced grin before going back to picking up the new addition to the mess.

Just ignore him, Merlin... Just ignore the prat... He told this to himself over and over, piling the clothes higher and higher. Than he stopped. "By tomorrow? How can I possibly do this all by tomorrow?! There were too many! He'd have to stay up all night long! If the room got any more messy, though, that might already be happening anyway...

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur had to admit that he was surprised that he had not yet heard another sarcastic remark from Merlin. Seemed like he was learning his lesson, and seeing just how far Arthur would go to teach it to him. "You are asking me as if I care." He didn't. As long as it was done, and he would make sure that Merlin was forced to getting a late start on it. He would keep him in the castle, showing him around, making him do other chores so that by the time he got home, exhausted, he would have the thought of having to do all the laundry. "You certainly aren't going to get it done, kneeling there and staring at me like an idiot. Chop chop! Get to work." He demanded in an amused tone; one that he hoped continue to irritate Merlin.

Now even Arthur could not just stand. Taking out more clothes had not been the end of it. "Oh wait," he exclaimed, acting as if he had done something he had not meant to. He went to the pile of clothes that Merlin had accumulated thus far, and began to take one piece at a time, throwing it around the room again, until he got to the bottom of it. "Ah, there it is," he said, holding up one of his shirts. The rest of the clothes . . . were once again, dispelled around his room. "This is not actually dirty," he announced. He had just picked a random shirt; one that just happened to be at the bottom of the pile, by no coincidence.

"Then again, its touched all the other clothes, so I suppose it could do with a washing." And with that, casually tossed it back to the ground. "Hurry up Merlin! This place looks worse than it did when you started." As if Merlin was to blame for that. Arthur of course knew he wasn't, but he would blame him for just about anything and everything from now on. Why? Because it was great fun.

[pie]

Oh, right! He had forgotten Arthur didn't care! No, he didn't, but what did he expect? He hadn't seen a single thing from the prince that indicated he would ever care! And he had saved his life!! He took a deep breath to calm his nerves and almost retorted with a, "I am working!" remark, but again, held it in. Yes, Arthur was having great fun with this, he saw. It was all fun and games for him, but quite the opposite for Merlin -- he was starting to think that perhaps he should have just let the stubborn prat be killed!

No, that wasn't a nice thought, even if he did detest the man, and even if it would only get worse by the moment, which it continually seemed to do. He wanted to throw something, anything, at Arthur at the exclamation of "Oh wait!" He knew that the prince had some other 'bright idea in his mind. Throwing the few shirts he had in his hands down in exasperation, he watched as Arthur threw his pile of clothes around, "searching" for the shirt at the bottom... only to say that it wasn't really dirty. "Oh, really?" he said allowed, unable to hold it back.

And then the comment about it should be washed now, anyway, didn't help. He sighed irritably, and began to, once more pick up the clothes. A few seconds would pass after Arthur's next comment about the room, and then he would throw a pair of pants he had just picked up at the prince. "I wonder why!" he exclaimed. "Perhaps it's because you are making it that way! That's the last time I save your life!" Seriously, he refused to (even though, in the long run, that vow would be broken). You'd think he'd be more grateful!

[Arthur Pendragon]

Did he just throw a pair of pants at him?! And here Arthur was, thinking that Merlin had learned his lesson. Apparently not. Apparently he was even more of an idiot than Arthur thought . . . if that was even possible. Arthur held the pants in his hands, glaring at Merlin. He was about to say something until the servant snapped, and started to express how upset he was, also making a comment about how he saved his life. Was Arthur aware of that fact? He was. Did he feel personally indebted to Merlin for it? He did. But he would never admit it. He would down play what Merlin had done for him, even though he did know that the man had saved his life. For that reason, Arthur would give his to him, but he couldn't exactly say that now, could he.

"Have you learned nothing from what I said before?" He said in a stubborn and strict voice. "You will address me with respect, and sarcasm is not included in those terms." Arthur was allowed to be sarcastic of course; but his man servant was not. "Now stop whining. If you worked as much as you complained you would be finished by now." He completely -- purposely -- ignored the comment about how he had saved his life. He was not going to bring that up. Arthur was not an all an emotional person and so tended to avoid certain topics. He did not vocalize his feelings, least of all to Merlin.

[pie]

Merlin knew his rant would go without much concern to the Prince. The only thing it was likely to do was get him in deeper trouble. That seemed to be the only thing that he could do, get himself in worse trouble. He stared at Arthur a moment longer before giving a prolonged disappointed huff. What could he expect? He was just a servant boy to the prince, and that made them so different all in its own way. And he couldn't do anything about it, because he didn't have any power over the social groups. "Doesn't matter, anyway," he mumbled to himself, picking up another shirt.

He listened to Arthur's words, but didn't look at him. Did he learn his lesson? Yes, he learned that the prince was more of a jerk than he thought. He wanted respect? Fine, Merlin would give it to him, but that didn't mean that it would be sincere. But it would still be respect, and that way the prince couldn't nag on him about that much, at least. "Yes, sire. Sorry, sire. Of course, sire." he said in an indifferent tone bordering on the unemotional line. Plucking another shirt from the floor, he tossed it onto his new pile.

[Arthur Pendragon]

He seemed to have silenced him, something Arthur had not thought possible. The idea of Merlin saving him though had not escaped his memory, he started to feel . . . no no, not guilty for what he was doing. Or well, maybe a little. Damn conscience! This was exactly why he tried to hard to bully others and act more arrogant than he truly was. Oh well. "Since I can't wait all day for you to finish, and you need to familiarize yourself with the castle, I will give you the tour now." That would give him a break from the cleaning and then just focus on getting used to the large surroundings.

"Leave all that for now, you can finish it later." And yes, Arthur would stay out of his way. He had his own things to do today, no matter how much he was enjoying torturing Merlin. Sadly, it was a hobby he could not do every moment of every day. Only as much as possible. He then turned to leave, expecting Merlin to follow him.

[Ahh a bit short! Sorry!]

[pie]

He continued not to pay Arthur any mind, tossing articles of clothing onto his pile. Really, it didn't bother him that the first guy around his age that he met was a total prat and jerk to him. Nope, didn't bother him at all... He sighed inwardly and looked blankly up at Arthur when the prince spoke. Oh, so now he wanted to show him around the castle? What awful things would the prince find to torture him with there? He doubted that this would be any pleasanter than cleaning his room. He shrugged and tossed one last pair of pants onto the pile before standing up.

It didn't make him any happier that he'd still have to do it later. It would be cleaner earlier if Arthur hadn't thrown nearly all his clothing across his room in random directions. He was tempted to just soak the clothes and see if the prince noticed a difference. Or just leave them soaking wet for when he returned them. He didn't have much of a choice in the matter, though, because he'd probably have to do them again later, anyway.

"How big is the castle, anyway? .... Sire." Again his tone was as emotionless as he could make it without sounding disrespectful. He didn't want that, now did he? That just managed to make the prince angry, and his life worse.

[It's okay!]

[Arthur Pendragon]

They began to make their way down the hallway as Merlin questioned the size of the castle. Oh good. He was using titles and sounding less sarcastic, though he could imagine he was not happy about using them. There was nothing Arthur could do about that. Very few called him by his first name. Actually, only his father and Morgana did and very occasionally some of the knights. But everyone else was subject to referring to him with a proper title; otherwise, he would take offense to such disrespect . . . as Merlin had already seen. "Its big enough so that you will without a doubt get lost repeatedly."

That was also his way of implying that Merlin was not the brightest person out there; all part of the ridicule, though Arthur believed this to be somewhat true. At least his reflexes worked well enough to have pulled him out of harms way before that witch's dagger had struck him. "Just make sure you know your way from Gaius' room to mine because I said before, you will report to my chambers every single morning for the rest of your life." Okay, so that was a bit long sounding and dramatic, but Arthur wanted it to sound that way. Just so Merlin knew of the situation, and that he would be serving the Prince for as long as Arthur wished.

[pie]

Merlin followed Arthur down the hallway, looking around the place and trying to take everything they passed into memory. If he was going to be forced to work for Arthur for any period of time, he didn't want to get lost. Especially when he was actually supposed to be doing something for the Prince. It would probably set the man right off if he was late for anything. Arthur was right in his answer, though, about the fact that it was big enough for him to *get lost in. "That's... reassuring," he mumbled.

He knew, of course, that Arthur was insulting his intelligence in the same process of answering his question. You could just tell by his casual tone. The Prince didn't care about insulting someone, anyone. Or so it seemed to Merlin. One day that would get Arthur into a load of trouble, if he insulted everyone that way. Someday someone wouldn't be able to take it, or he'd make the wrong kind of enemy. By than, Merlin hoped that the Prince had either made a good enough impression on him, or that Arthur could handle it himself, because otherwise he wouldn't help. He just wanted to hurl some kind of object at him with magic. Perhaps if he didn't touch it, he could blame it on something else...

He almost rolled his eyes at Arthur's next comment. Yes, he would have to learn the way from Gaius' room to Arthur's, he didn't want the Prince to be a bigger pain because he just so happened to get lost when he was suppose to report to his room in the morning. Even if that would spare him some off-time, he'd still have to do everything he would have had to earlier, and that would cut into his sleep and off-time. To the comment about it being for the rest of his life, however, he said, "Not if you get killed, first." It had been intended to be a thought to himself, even though he said it allowed, nor did he mean anything by it, but with the Prince being right there, it was probably heard...

[Arthur Pendragon]

Did he just hear what he thought he heard? It was strange. First he thought Merlin was an idiot, then he thought he had learned his lesson, then he just proved to be a bigger idiot. The thought of Arthur dying was laughable to him, as he was arrogant and cocky about his combat skills. He of course in the face of battle always had doubts in his capabilities but that was not something one advertised to others. It was best to keep it to himself and not let others know about those insecurities he had, however deep. Perhaps it was why he bullied others so much, and over compensated. Oh, and the fact that it was so much fun and one of the biggest sources of entertainment. Now that he had Merlin working for him though, he doubted he would ever have to find another victim to bully. Lucky for him, it would always be Merlin, and his insults and sarcastic remarks only encouraged Arthur to give him more of a hard time.

Arthur froze when he heard his comment, pausing for a few minutes, before spinning around and once again, getting in Merlin's face, trying to look threatening. He gave him an intense glare, and held that expression while he spoke. "I know you're an idiot, but are you really that stupid to threaten me?" He had misinterpreted Merlin's remark, assuming that by him dying, Merlin was the one threatening his life. It of course wasn't much of a threat -- considering the last time they had a 'violent' physical confrontation -- but it was still something Arthur was not going to just let slide by. He wanted to know exactly what Merlin had meant about that. Idiot. Yes, that would be his new nickname.

[pie]

Merlin's goal of ignoring Arthur was best as he could majorly failed when the Prince reacted to his comment. He gulped as he watched the man freeze for a few minutes before spinning around at him. He put on an innocent grin, and shrugged nervously as he stared into the Prince's angry glare. Arthur appeared as threatening to Merlin as he wanted to seem. After all, Arthur was the Prince of Camelot, the son of the king, and eventual heir to the throne! And he had already kicked his butt twice! What would he do the third time?!

"No! I-I mean yes! Wait, no! I'm not that stupid! I-I didn't mean it that way!" he said in a rush, stumbling over his words. It was a very poor excuse to describe his actions... "Heh heh..." he took a step backwards and directed his gaze at the wall. "Very interesting wall you have, here. How old is it?" he asked, hoping to redirect the conversation elsewhere.

[Hn... short... sorry, lol]