A Mother's Pain (Hunith,Merlin,Gaius)

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Hunith could scarely believe the turn things had taken. She had just wanted to see Merlin again, just for a couple of days, since it had been a year since his last visit to Ealdor. Knowing what Uther had done to him was bad enough, but she'd seen him up there, shackled to the post, had heard his cries of pain as the whip had hit him, had held him on her lap until he was taken from her to be brought to Gaius's chambers.

Merlin had now been brought in and laid on his bed, and she began helping Gaius as much as she could, and then, when she had to let Gaius work, she sat on the edge of the narrow bed up at its head, since Merlin was laid on his belly. One hand held tightly to one of Merlin's hands while the other stroked his face and ran through his hair. She knew Gaius would give him something to dull the pain, but still, he would hurt. and it hurt her.,

"I wish I could take the pain from you...my poor boy...It does not matter what happened, you did not deserve this. Neither did Prince Arthur. You'll come through, I know, because you're strong, and I hope that you'll find a way to show Uther how wrong he is about you. Just try and relax...some of Gaius's treatments hurt, a lot, I know, but they'll make you feel better when he's done. And I'll stay right here, as long as I possibly can. It will be all right, you'll see."

She wished she could take him in her arms and just hold him, but since that was not possible, she would sit here as long as she possibly could, giving him what comfort she could with her words and her touch.

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Merlin tried to ignore the pain as much as possible as it ebbed through his back in scorching waves. Every little movement brought that pain back to bear, all successful attempts to set his mind away from that pain forgotten as he clenched his eyes tightly, trying not to let any tears come forth. It hurt, hurt so much, as it had when the whip and its cruel glass tips had tore into him from behind. Yet through that all, in the end, he had found himself in his mother's comforting embrace.

Now, though, he had been brought back to Gaius' chambers, where the old man would begin to tend to his wounds. Laying on his bed, he tried once more to ignore any and all pain -- which there was still quite a bit of! --, keeping the side of his head flat against his pillow as he stared at his mother, clenching her hand back tightly.

"I didn't do anything," he said through forced gasps. "Arthur didn't either. Uther wouldn't let me take both punishments... He's just so... blind, sometimes. Blind to what should be." He tried to shift his weight a little on the bed, but only managed to cause his back to throb more painfully. When he steadied his breathing enough to talk again, he added, "When did you get here?"

Yes, when? And why at that time? Had fate wanted to play cruel tricks on them by having her come at those exact moments, during his flogging? He gave a few small coughs and tried to turn his head to look behind him. "Can someone get me some water?" he asked, his voice carrying a hopeful tone despite its hoarseness.

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She felt a wave of what was almost awe at Merlin's words about offering to take both punishments. It did not truly surprise her, though; it was the way Merlin was. He would give his life for Arthur, even if the prince didn't always realize it. At least, she thought, Arthur was a better man than his father. He liked to act like an arrogant jerk sometimes, and Merlin liked to call him a "royal pain in the rear" but at least he was a man of honor, a man who could see reason.

"What happened that Uther punished both of you? she asked.[ Gaius had told her a few things, but there hadn't been much time for talking between tending to Arthur and tending to Merlin. She knew Gaius wasn't going to have an easy time, given Arthur's confinement to the dungeons."My brave boy...It does not surprise me that you would try to do that for Arthur...you risk your life for him so many times. I know he will appreciate it, when the time comes for you to tell him. He is a different kind of man than his father. And I wish you hadn't had to suffer Uther's cruelty. He may have brought peace to Camelot, but there are times when I wonder how many will have to suffer before he is gone." She knew she could speak a bit here, without fear of anyone reporting her. She was smart enough to stay quiet when it was prudent to, though.

Merlin asked when she had gotten there. "When it was still going on...I could see what was happening, what you were going through...I wanted so badly to take you away from there...I felt so powerless. I came to you as soon as you were free. I was simply hoping for a short visit...a couple of days, since it's been so long since I last saw you. Perhaps there is some good...I can at least be here to comfort you for a short time."

Merlin turned his head and she gently stilled him. "Stay still if you can, it will hurt less. Here...just a moment.She left him only for an instant, to get a cup with some water from Gaius's decanter, and then returned, offering it to him, willing to let him take it, but also watching closely to help him if she could at all.

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Merlin had to think a moment to recall all the details he could when his mother asked him what had happened. The pain clouded his mind, but it was slowly dulling a little. After a few seconds, he managed to sort through the previous events enough to gather an answer he hoped would satisfy his mother's question enough to clear any confusion.

"Recently, Uther found out about Arthur and Gwen's relationship. He was going to have her banished, and then burned when he began to believe there was an enchantment on Arthur. I couldn't let that happen, so I used an aging spell to make myself older and tricked everyone into believing that I was the one who 'enchanted' them, both of them," he said slowly, having to pause multiple times throughout his explanation. "The only problem was that I couldn't change myself back in time and was caught and ordered to be the one burned. Well, Gaius prepared me a remedy for it, to change me back, so I escaped just in time.

"Why was I punished? For letting the sorcerer escape. After changing back, Arthur had seen me, and I lied terribly, saying the old man was too fast for me to catch. Uther punished me for failing. Why was Arthur punished? Because the King believes he still had attachments to Gwen, despite being 'enchanted.' " He finished, closing his eyes to try and block the pain out once more.

She wasn't surprised that he offered to do that for Arthur, and she thought one day he would appreciate his many attempts to protect him? Merlin knew it had to be true, that Arthur was that kind of person, but always doubts began to creep up in him, and he had to wonder if the Prince truly would. "Will he?" he mumbled, a hint of forlorn edging his tone. "Or will he toss me aside because I have magic?"

And Uther... Yes, how many would have to suffer because of the King? Because they had magic or did something Uther disagreed with? How much longer could it go on? He had had several chances to let it end, but he had never taken them and had made sure Uther would live. Like many of his doubts, there was one about this. Should he never have done it? "One day it will end," he said, more so to reassure himself, but still speaking to his mother. "One day we won't have to worry about how many will suffer under Uther's tyrannical rule." Subtle tyranny, but still tyranny nonetheless.

Then he groaned. Not out of pain -- though it was still present! -- but out of a sort of guilt. Exactly how much had she seen of his punishment? He wished that she hadn't gotten there at that time, to see him flogged. What a wonderful welcoming indeed... He tried to force a smile, though it appeared exactly that -- forced. "Maybe you can stay here a little longer than you would have otherwise?" he asked. This was the one thing that wasn't forced in cheerfulness. He enjoyed the times he could spend with his mother, and wouldn't mind an extended visit!

He waited patiently when his mother left the room to get him his requested water, laying still like he was told. And she was right, it did hurt less to stay still than move. When she returned, though, he had to move to be able to drink it. Shifting his weight slightly, he dragged his arms underneath of him and tried to push himself up into a hands and knees position. He could have much more easily rolled onto his back, but he didn't want anything to touch it, it being the source of his pain, after all. However, when his arms failed him and he collapsed with a groan onto the bed, face buried into the pillow, he knew he wouldn't be able to do that either.

[ Um... heh heh... long. ]

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Merlin, too, was expressing what she felt, what she badly wanted to say to the king's face every time she saw him. She looked around as she listened, hoping the guards wouldn't overhear, knowing that neither of them could bear it if he were subjected to more punishment for his words. She nodded, her eyes and expression telling him clearly that she agreed with him fully. She was not someone who wanted to wish another person dead, but she truly believed that Camelot would only be a better place with Arthur as king.

Gaius spoke up, advising Merlin to take care, telling him that he feared giving Uther any more reason to harm the boy. Hunith nodded.

"I am sure there are many who feel that way...I just ask that you be careful. Gaius is right. I know you could not bear any more harm done to you, and I could not either. It isn't easy, I know...I must fight to keep quiet as well after what has happened."[/color']

She slipped her arms under him carefully as he drank, trying to support him without further hurting him or touching his back too much. She managed to help get some of the liquid into him, but it was a struggle, one he eventually tired of. He was weakened and tired, and eventually collapsed back onto the bed. She gently stroked his hair and neck, where the skin wasn't damaged.

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Merlin knew that they had a point, that to speak so out there about the King was indeed dangerous, even considered treason. Oh, if Uther only knew how many times he had commited "treason", and mainly all in the name of protecting Arthur. Oh yes, if only he knew, what shock would have to pass the King's face, what pleasure Merlin would get in smiling in satisfaction at the truth finally being spilled -- at least until he was killed. But that was a thought that he preferred not to think of. Yes, he'd prefer not to worry about that aspect of it, as it was unimportant unless he actually did it, which was not something he planned, no matter how angry he might actually get. Yes, he would keep quiet, he would be careful with what he said.

"I'll be careful, mother," he promised her, giving her a small and painful nod, as it pulled on the sore and hurt muscles on his back. "Arthur wouldn't be able to survive without me," he added lightheartedly, his attempt to lift the mood, to make his mother smile. Anything to lessen the seriousness of the pain he felt.

He was grateful for her assistance as she helped him drink the water. Something he desprately needed. Some of the liquid went down his throat, but even swallowing was a task that was proving too difficult for him. It seemed as if he had torn his throat apart when he had screamed earlier. And now, even the cool, refreshing liquid wanted to get revenge for him drinking it. Stupid water. He gave up, and let himself fall back to the bed, turning his head away from his mother to hide his slightly angry, and slightly upset expression. And his thoughts went back to Arthur. Was he alright? He wasn't hurt too bad, right? The king had kept his word and only put him in the dungeon, yes? He wanted to go see the Prince, but knew that he wasn't fit enough to make that journey, albeit how small it actually was. He also didn't even know if he was allowed to go see the Prince.

"I'll get better," he said, forcing his tone to sound confident. "This is all just something minor, I've had worse..." Yes, like when he almost died from poison, he told himself. At least he hadn't been killed -- both then and now -- right?

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"I do fear that he would have died long ago if not for you. I am curious what he is going to say when you can finally tell him about it." She couldn't hold back a slight smile at Merlin's words, despite the sadness she felt. He was having trouble swallowing even the water, and that was really expected, after his cries earlier. She shivered as she thought about them, tried to push them away, but felt the pain anyway. Gaius was preparing something to soothe his throat, now that his injuries had been tended to, and she hoped it would help.

"easy, easy...if you can't manage it now, wait for Gaius's medicine...I know your throat must be sore. Hopefully it will help." She had to shake her head a couple of times now as she ran her fingers through his hair. Only Merlin could call something like this minor. "If this is minor, what would you call serious?" she asked.