The Body Swap

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur was on his knees scrubbing the floor. His face was stained with a bit of a dirt, and he knew he had small bits of soap in his hair. He had no idea what he was doing, but in order to appear that he did, he had to keep going. He would have preferred training the men, which he considered less difficult than what he was doing right now. It did not give him a whole new appreciation of what servants did; it just made him angry and bitter. This was not what he was meant to do. He did not spend his entire life training to be a knight, learning how to be a future king, for it to lead to this. And yet, it is what it had come down to.

He heard one of the guards voice tell him that after he was done that, the laundry needed to be done, lunch needed to be prepared and . . . the stable needed to be mucked out. Arthur shuddered; feeling a chill creep down his spine. That used to be his favorite order to give people, and now he was the being ordered to do it. Somehow it was less fun on the other side. He threw the brush down in the bucket, extremely frustrated. There was no way he was going to do this! He wiped his hair back with the back of his hand as his mind went back to that day where this had all started . . .

--- Not Too Long, But Long Enough, Ago ---

Arthur was running for his life . . . quite literally. He could hear the men closing in behind him, hearing their angry, ferocious yells. All to see the Prince of Camelot dead. Arthur had not even been in his armor; he was dressed in his casual attire, his hunting clothes as that had been the initial reason they had come. They strayed so far from Camelot though, too far. But who would have thought so many of Cenred's men would be in Mercia?! Should this not be some sort of middle, neutral ground? After all, Arthur was not with his army . . . all he had was his servant, who was lagging behind.

Arthur continued to run, looking back ever now and then to make sure that Merlin was still there. They needed to stop to breathe! They had been running for too long now, but Cenred's men were not giving up. And why would they? They had an opportunity to kill the Prince of Camelot which meant that if they killed the king, Camelot would have no heir and it would be that much easier to control. Arthur needed to stop thinking of all these things, and just focus on running. When they reached a bit of a hill, he noticed that the lower ground offered some sort of concealment. Without stopping to think about it twice, he jumped down and hid under there, motioning for Merlin to do the same before they were caught and instantly killed.

_{Setting: Starts in Mercia, eventually Camelot
Time of Day: Lets say Mid Afternoon
Timeline: Maybe after all the drama in the Crystal Caves episode, they can have some 'fun'
Tag: Merlin Caradoc}

[pie]

His heart raced in his throat, his feet pounding upon the ground as he ran. The scenery flew past him, the trees looking to be nothing but fuzzy blurs to the young man's eyes. He had tripped once, perhaps twice... he had lost count as his mind panicked. He, they, had to get away from the men chasing them. Curse fate, it had rose up against them again! He was behind Arthur, who was much faster than he was, stumbling along behind the Prince, but keeping up enough to not lag too far behind. If there was anyway to describe how he was feeling, it would be that he felt as if his lungs were about to burst.

It had all started as a simple hunting trip. Merlin had left Camelot with Arthur, but they had gone so far and were now being chased by Cenred's men! In Mercia! If they couldn't get away, then who knows what would happen! It was just him and Arthur! And now they were in unknown territory, at least, unknown to him. His only thought was to get away, to find something or somewhere they could hide in, or perhaps he could manipulate with magic to stop the men long enough for them to get away.

When they crested the hill, he noticed Arthur's look and motions to him. He had found somewhere to hide! As soon as Arthur made the motion, Merlin did not hesitate to do as instructed, hiding under the cover beside Arthur, holding his breath, and praying that the men chasing them did not notice anything unusual...

[Arthur Pendragon]

As they hid in this current position, Arthur took full advantage to catch his breath. He was not even sure how long they had been running for . . . it was long enough though. Cenred's men did not seem to be slowing down and they technically shouldn't be either. They just needed to get some sort of plan instead of running all the way back to Camelot; it was too far, and they could not run through open ground where the men would have better aim that them. As Arthur inhaled and exhaled rapidly, he looked around at his surroundings, mentally formulating a plan as what to do.

They really needed to find a better place to hide. Somewhere crowded where it would just create too much of a scene. They were on Mercian ground and he doubted the king would want any royal blood spilled on his land. Despite this, he could not go to the castle; he could not draw that much attention to what was going on. They would have to find some sort of inn or something; somewhere to lay low, because running for the rest of their lives was not an option.

While their current location of hiding proved to be temporarily effective, Arthur knew they had to keep moving. Whether Merlin was read or not -- even Arthur longed for more of a break -- they could not stay in one place too long. If Cenred's men came from the front, they were be cornered and instantly killed. "Are you alright?" He asked, knowing that neither of them really were. He was just stalling for a few more moments . . . as many as he could steal.

[pie]

When he felt it was safe enough to not be heard, he begun to take deep breaths, filling his lungs with as much air as was humanly possible. They had been running for so long, and his legs were so sore, but he knew that they had to move again, soon. They couldn't risk being caught, especially after running so much! What a waste of time that would be! Although, his heart was racing so fast, still, that he thought that he could run all the way to Camelot and back, without stopping, just from his fear alone!

He rested his weight against the back of the little hiding area, resting for as long as he would be able to before having to get up again. Closing his eyes for a brief second, he looked over at Arthur, who seemed equally as tired. "Why does this always happen to us?" he asked in answer to the Prince's question. "I'll be fine when I can rest without the chance of us getting killed." He wasn't going to be optimistic about this, he didn't like running for his life, nothing fun or good about it!

He hoped Arthur knew more of the land than he did, or at least could figure out where they were or where to go... Or even had a plan! The fact that men were after them was bad enough! The fact that they were Cenred's men were even worse! What where they even doing in Mercia to begin with? Oh well, the important thing was to get out of here and to safety!

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur ignored Merlin's questions, interpreting them as rhetorical ones. They seemed to constantly be in life and death situations, though it was only to be expected being a Prince. And as Merlin was almost always with Arthur, he fell into that same category of constant threat. Arthur gave a bit of a smile, chuckling oddly. This was not really that funny of a situation, but he had to find some humor in something. He would not show fear in such an instance, and the best way to mask all other emotions was through humor.

"Come now Merlin. Take this as an opportunity to get fit; to put yourself in shape," he joked, still breathing heavily as he spoke. He looked straight ahead of him, as if trying to anticipate what the first thing they would see once they were out of these woods. If he was not mistake, there would be a small village, with hopefully a place where they could seek refuge. As Arthur allowed a few more moments to pass by, they could not afford any more time.

"Lets go," he abruptly stated and began to step out of the concealment in a hurried walk. It did not take long for his attention to be once again, drawn to the mob of men, one of which pointed at them, and yelled their location. Arthur continued to stare as all their heads moved towards their direction. "Merlin . . . run!" And with that, Arthur darted off once again, this time at least having some sort of vague destination in mind.

[pie]

Merlin frowned at the joke, but couldn't hide a small chuckle. At least Arthur seemed optimistic. If he was, than that must mean that he thought they had a pretty good chance of escaping unscathed. "Right, well, same to you. Perhaps this time you'll be able to eat all those sausages and remain in shape!" He was, of course, referring to quite a time ago where he had just happened to be stealing Arthur's food to feed a girl he helped save... though he didn't want to think of that.

He sat still while apparently Arthur was thinking of something. He hoped he'd come up with something. The most Merlin could do was slow them down if he could get a chance to use magic. He couldn't wipe them all out with something or anything, one, because that would probably be too strong a spell than he currently knew, and two... because that would be quite suspicious.

When Arthur decided it was time to go, he didn't waste any time with complaining. No matter how much he wanted to stop, he wanted to get away from these men chasing them even more! But, of course... Luck was always against them as the men spotted them. "Again?!" he groaned. And at Arthur's command to run, he did so obediently, following him.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur was going to pretend he didn't hear that -- for now anyway -- . He would beat Merlin later for that comment. It was clear that the Prince was a little sensitive about his weight, since Merlin had made such a big deal about it last time. Arthur didn't think he was fat! He was in shape! Well, that was what he told himself anyway. Oh well. Now was not the time to think about that, when he had far more pressing concerns . . . such as over a dozen men chasing them.

Arthur kept running, pass by the trees, jumping over the roots, only averting his gaze to make sure Merlin was still nearby. If he was caught, then Arthur knew full well he could not just leave him behind to die at the hands of those men. Of course, they would probably use that against him. But that didn't matter to Arthur. There were some things that he did not need to even think about; certain actions were instinctive and ensuring the safety of his friends and loved ones, was just one of those things he would do, without a moments hesitation.

Arthur was -- once again -- not sure how long they had been running for, but a clearing soon came into view and Arthur was extremely relieved that he had been right, and that there was a small village. He began to slow to a stop, only so that he could look around and see which building seemed to look like an inn from the outside. He held up his hand and pointed to one of them. "There. Thats an inn," he said confidently, as if he knew for certain when in reality, he was only guessing. "We'll go in there just until Cenred's men have passed," he continued to say as he began to jog towards it.

[pie]

Merlin blindly followed behind Arthur, trusting, hoping, that he knew what he was doing. If not, they were screwed. So hopefully that wouldn't happen. He trusted Arthur with his life, but there were just those times where he wanted to throw something heavy at him. Now wasn't one of those times, however. So, tripping clumsily over his own feet, he was relieved that he managed not to actually fall during those times. He tried to control his breathing by making it slower, hoping that perhaps that would help, but all that succeeded in doing was make him nearly choke to death.

He tried to blot the pain of exertion from his mind, instead trying to concentrate on something pleasant. The only thing he could think of was the fact he neglected some of his chores before they left for the hunting trip. Well... chores were more pleasant than this was! The thought didn't help for long, he felt as if his legs were becoming like stone. Pretty soon and he wouldn't even be able to walk, let alone run!

When the small village came within sight, he nearly whooped in happiness. Though they had to find somewhere to hide, first! So he held that in for now. When Arthur pointed out the Inn, a weird look came across Merlin's face. "I'm not sure if this is a good idea, Arthur... I mean... something always happens when we're in an Inn." He would go in, however. They didn't have much of a choice, so he followed the Prince. Glancing over his shoulder, he mumbled a few words to make several tree branches fall down on the men that had been chasing them, hoping to slow them down enough to get into the Inn without them noticing.

[Arthur Pendragon]

While he could certainly understand Merlin's concerns, he just ignored them. "We don't have a choice. Unless you just want to keep running and see how far we get before we faint, or can no longer outrun Cenred's men." No. They could not long do this. They needed to have some sort of alternate plan, even though running wasn't much of a plan to begin with. It was the natural instinct when being chased with enemies. Arthur looked around one more time before opening door to the Inn, and instantly realized that an Inn was not where they were.

Far from it.

There was absolute commotion in the place. People were screaming, laughing boisterously, jumping around, dancing. But it was not a tavern either. Not from the way people were dressed, or rather in some cases, a state of undress. Arthur's eyes slightly widened, realizing where they had ended up. Good god. How he desperately had hoped this would have been an Inn, or a tavern, or a shop, or even someones house. Any place other than what it actually was! Because, much to his shock and displeasure . . .

. . . They had just entered a brothel house.

[pie]

Merlin sighed. No, he did not want to see how far it was possible for them to run before they either fainted or were caught. So... into the Inn it was, sadly. He still had a bad feeling about this, but he still didn't have a choice. Even though he thought that the men would probably check the tavern. So, without further complaint, he moved with Arthur as the Prince opened the door to the Inn... and was immediately horrified.

His eyes widened in surprise, and his face turned a slight red from embarrassment. It had the general atmosphere of an Inn -- loud, noisy, boisterous -- but had other elements as well... And the main one that bothered him was the near-nakedness, or... further. This was definitely not an Inn! See what happened when he listened to Arthur? He knew that this was not a good idea!

"Arthur!" he whispered, too shocked to speak louder. "This is not an Inn!! Let's leave the way we came and find somewhere else!" Men chasing them or no, they couldn't hide in a Brothel house! That would be awkward and... well awkward!

[Arthur Pendragon]

This was rather . . . uncomfortable. The two of them must have looked highly out of place as they were the only ones standing and staring. While Arthur had no desire to be here either, and was about to actually turn to leave, he heard people -- a lot of people -- outside. They were here! Change of plans! Arthur pushed Merlin -- not hard enough for him to fall -- further into the room. The crowd was enough so that they could easily blend in, and therefore, making it difficult for Cenred's men to immediately find them. It would definitely buy them some time which was what they greatly needed.

Everyone was laughing, as most were probably drunk, so it was a bit more difficult than it looked to plow their way through the crowd. "Keep moving" Arthur told him, raising his voice a bit as he was trying to speak over all the noise so that Merlin could hear him. Arthur kept pushing him forward, trying not to create too much of a distance between them. If they got separated, it would only mean they would have to spend extra time relocating one another. While Arthur said this, he saw stairs leading up. Good! Clearly this brothel house was rather large . . . which he wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Avoid staring at people!" Arthur informed Merlin. Arthur had kept his gaze forward or down, not making eye contact with anyone. Sometimes, people were a tad bit sensitive and while they were under the influence of alcohol, it made them all the more irrational and unpredictable. As he made his way upstairs, there were a number of rooms, and Arthur was afraid to open any of them . . . fearful of what their eye sight would have to endure on the other side. He paused in the hallway, as a stumbling man with a jovial -- and rather goofy -- grin was walking towards them. He stopped in front of both Merlin and Arthur, and just looked at them, his smile fading for a brief moment, replaced with a puzzled look. Seconds after, it reappeared and seemed bigger than before. He waved the mug in his hand -- filled with ale no doubt -- and motioned to one of the rooms.

"That room should be empty for ya fellas!" He said while giving a strange wink. It took Arthur a moment to realize what he was implying. "No!" The Prince quickly objected, unsure as to why he felt the need to explain himself to a drunken commoner. "Its not . . . we're not actually -- " But the man just chuckled and shrugged. Arthur was mortified as he watched him walk away, and then looked Merlin, giving him a disgusted look at the very notion of the idea . . .

[pie]

Merlin didn't exactly think that there were words to describe what he was feeling right now. Uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. Shocked, frightened, embarrassed... even a little nauseas if he could tell right. It was surprising, revolting, and he wanted to turn and run. But he heard the men that had been chasing them earlier outside. Well, they couldn't leave now! His eyes went wider, and he temporarily forgot about the brothel and focused more on the current problem: staying hidden from the men that might come in at any second!

He wouldn't protest as Arthur began to push him forward, he would only move at a not-too-suspicious pace so as not to catch attention. He didn't need Arthur to tell him to keep moving, he would do that anyway, even if only out of the wish to get away from the people in the brothel. He couldn't help but glance around wildly with wide eyes at the sights around him. Especially all the drunk and dancing people, not to mention several... "other" events.

When Arthur told him not to look at anyone, he tore his gaze away from the scene and nodded, mumbling a, "Right," and falling silent again, allowing the Prince to lead him. He kept his gaze awkwardly off of people, hoping that he didn't draw any attention. So when they made it up the stairs that Arthur had spotted, he was positively relieved.

The sight of the old man only gave Merlin chills... everything gave him chills at this moment, he thought. He even thought that perhaps he might have gone into some sort of mild shock. As the man neared them, Merlin stopped moving when Arthur did, and watched the man's grin disappear, only to return a moment later even more frightening (to him, at least). When the old man spoke, his eyes flew open even wider, and he took a shocked step backwards, closer to Arthur. If it was possible, he thought he went even paler.

Merlin stood, wide eyed, until after the old man left, not really caring about Arthur's words apparently. He turned towards his friend, and choked out a, "Tell me that he didn't really mean... that..."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur had absolutely no intention of answering that question. He knew Merlin knew what it meant . . . whether he wanted to admit to it or not. Arthur was not going to go into detail about it, so -- as usual -- he ignored him. He just wanted to get out of here and in order to do that . . . well, he was going to take advantage of the information -- though given for the wrong intentions -- that the man had given them, hoping he had been in enough of his senses to not be totally wrong. Arthur very slowly opened the door, afraid that the sight before it was going to be more traumatizing than accidentally stumbling into a brothel.

Luckily, it was empty! Arthur breathed a silent sigh of relief and he pulled Merlin in and closed the door. Damn. There was no lock; you'd think that there would be a lock on the doors in such a place . . . then again, maybe not. Arthur turned to look around the room. It was not very big at all and there were a few packs lying on the side of the bed, which he assumed held some clothes in them but he was not interested enough to find out, so just let it be for now. Arthur was very reluctant to sit on it, so just stood instead.

Only moments after Arthur had closed the door, he heard footsteps and someone about to open it. Arthur pushed it shut. "Its uh, occupied!" Oh good lord, that sounded revolting! Especially considering the insinuations that had just been made. He needed to make sure no one else came in though, so he began to pull over one of the side tables and pushed it against the door so that it would block anyone from entering, or at least they would get a fair bit of warning that someone was trying to come in. "We need to find a way to get out of here," he said, thinking aloud. Where there any horses nearby that they could steal. How would they get them? What if Cenred's men were waiting in the village for them to reveal themselves? So many questions, such limited time, and not a single solution.

[pie]

Merlin watched anxiously as Arthur opened the door slowly, and he prayed that nothing laid beyond it, or he felt he really would go into shock. To both of their great relief, he was sure, it was empty. When Arthur pulled him in and shut the door, Merlin looked around nervously. He felt as if he was intruding in someone's personal area: Home, belongings, life... He didn't feel like he belonged here at all. And he didn't!! What awful luck to just happen to go into a brothel! Arthur!

Merlin stood beside Arthur, also unwilling to sit on that bed. Too many... 'thoughts' flashed through his mind standing in this room to begin with. The room didn't provide much materials for them to use to escape. The only thing out-of-place (and even then it wasn't really "out-of-place"), were the bags on the bed. Perhaps the people that proceeded to attempt to come in were the owners, or perhaps not, but they wouldn't find out for Arthur seemed not to want anyone to come in -- and Merlin wholeheartedly agreed on that note.

Though "It's occupied" didn't help Merlin's embarrassment of being in such an establishment. Watching as the Prince moved the table in front of the door, Merlin began to slowly walk around the room, almost as if pacing, or looking around. "A way out? I don't see any way that we could possibly get out." His eyes, however, fell to the bags on the bed multiple times during his circling routine.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Merlin walking around was irritating Arthur. Only because he was extremely stressed out and was drawing a complete blank on ideas to get out of this place, and avoid Cenred's men. If they could not figure out an idea; then they would not even get out of this village. They would surely be dead before getting any closer to Camelot. And the fact that even Merlin couldn't think of a plan was even more worrisome. "Stop pacing Merlin, you're making me anxious!" Arthur was still near the door, refusing to sit and relax himself. He was worried someone was going to come in and they were going to be forced to see more than they had already seen -- which was enough to last a lifetime with the desire to burn ones eyes out.

He followed Merlin's gaze to the packs sitting there, as Arthur had only casually noticed them. Merlin seemed to be focused on them. Though the Prince doubted that the answer to their problem lay in those packs, there was no harm in trying to use all of the resources available to them. "Whats in there?" He asked, knowing Merlin didn't know the answer, but it was his way of telling him to open them up.

[Feel free to have their 'dressing up' as Merlin's idea since it was Arthur's bright idea to enter the brothel!]

[pie]

Merlin clasped his hands nervously behind his back and forced his feet to stop their movement. Instead he rocked back and forth on his heels. "Pacing? Who's pacing? I'm not pacing." He took a deep breath and added a calmer, "Sorry." Biting his lower lip, he continued to gaze around the room, but the only thing he could think of to use was whatever was in the bags on the bed, if anything were in them.

When Arthur asked what was in them, Merlin took the cue to check them. Slowly, dragging his steps, he made his way inch by inch towards the packs. Finally he got to them, and just as slowly, he began to tentatively open them as if afraid of what he would find. With his back to Arthur, he peered inside. Thankfully there were only clothes in there. Or so, only in the main space. He remained silent for a few long moments, contemplating, then withdrew away from it, bringing with him a pile of feminine (for they were for females) clothing.

"I've got an idea," Merlin spoke up finally, "and I don't think you're going to like it." He held up the clothes for emphasis, indicating that he was suggesting they dress up like, "Women."

[ Woo! lol ]

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur watched curiously as Merlin began to reveal what was in the bag, also suggesting that he had an idea. Arthur looked at the garment, slightly raising an eyebrow, as he did not quite understand what Merlin was talking about. Perhaps it was denial to accept such an idea . . . but whatever it was, it prevented him from cluing in right away. And when he did, his eyes slightly widened in shock. "Absolutely not!" He exclaimed, immediately opposed to the idea. He saw where Merlin was going with this and he was not going to dress up as a woman!

It was a stupid, ridiculous, idiotic idea! And Arthur was not even going to consider it! He was not going to consider that it may very well be their only way out of here! It was no secret that the Prince had his pride . . . and this would ruin him. It would damage him beyond repair. Even if he was not recognized by anyone! He would forever know in his mind, that he had dressed in a woman's attire to get out of a brothel. Oh he could see the ridicule now! And worse yet, what if he was caught?! What if he was found out?! What if Cenred's men not only caught them, but caught them . . . dressed as woman.

"There is no way in hell that I am wearing . . . that!" He shook his, stubbornly folding his arms across his chest, and looking at Merlin with that expression that said 'You're an idiot!'. Nope. It was a preposterous idea! NO! Arthur would not dress up as a woman! No way! No how! NEVER!

[pie]

Merlin knew that Arthur was going to oppose to his idea right away, but that didn't change his mind! Somehow he had to get the Prince to agree to this, before Cenred's men got bright enough to check upstairs and figure them out. It could only be a matter of time, he knew. After all, why wouldn't they check the whole brothel? If they were lucky, the men might get sidetracked by the... other "entertainments" that were presented to visitors of the Brothel. But who knew how long that would last, or if it would even work? They were intent on finding them -- the Prince of Camelot was close to their grasp --, who in their right mind would get distracted in a situation like that?

"Arthur, what other choice do we have?" he pressed persistently. "Cenred's men are out there looking for us, for you, and we need to get out of here!" He tossed the garments onto the bed and began to empty the bag's contents. "Look, we have everything we need to pass off as women." He paused, then added as an after thought, "Well, not everything, physically at least. Although, not all women are as well endowed as most... So we should be fine!" He turned towards Arthur again and held up two dresses. "Red or purple? I think both suit you; don't you? If you don't want a dress, there are other clothes in the bag, too."

Would this work?

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur's expression was a mix of horror and mortification. There was also a very strong glare directed at Merlin; an angry look of disbelief. It was even more angry because he knew that Merlin was right. He knew that this may be their only chance for escape; that they would have to humiliate themselves if they wanted to get out of here alive. And yet, that thought did not make the idea any more appealing. Arthur was disturbed beyond belief. Even more so, that Merlin was talking about it so . . . casually . . . so comfortably. Arthur's mind went back to that day in the hallway late at night when he had caught Merlin wandering around with a woman's dress. He had not asked any questions then, but it would certainly explain quite a bit now.

Arthur continued to just stare in disbelief as his servant began pulling out the contents of the bag. He wanted to beat him for even suggesting that both dresses would suit him! Damn him and damn his ridiculous -- yet saving -- ideas! Arthur was mentally debating what to do. How could he do this?! He had far too much dignity. Of course, it wouldn't be much better if he ended up dead. Woman versus Death. Oddly enough, death sounded more tempting at this point.

Suddenly, out of no where, Arthur marched up to Merlin and grabbed the red dress from him. He knew he had to have moved towards it fast, because otherwise, he never would have done it. He just had to rip the stitches, get it over with, and yet . . . he felt like he was going to be nauseous. After grabbing the dress from him, he got in Merlin's face -- as he often did when about to threaten him -- and took his free hand not grasping the woman's garment to point at Merlin with. "If you tell anyone, and I mean anyone, about this . . . I swear to God, I will make your life an absolute, living hell." Arthur made sure to emphasize each and every word of his threat, his tone with dead seriousness. He would have threatened to kill him, but no. Death was quick. There was not torture in it. Arthur wanted to give Merlin -- or at least try to give Merlin -- a legitimate reason to fear telling anyone about what was about to take place today.

[pie]

Merlin stood, grinning at Arthur, but was rather quite serious about this. They had to leave soon, so if Arthur didn't agree, and didn't have another plan, then, as far as Merlin was concerned, this was the only possible solution to get out. He couldn't exactly say that he enjoyed the idea either, but he was definitely more willing to do so then Arthur was. Within reason, of course. After all, Arthur was the Prince, but still... no one but Merlin was around to see him! If they played it out convincingly, then it wouldn't matter. If they didn't... well then, they would either get away and Merlin would be killed later for the idea, or get caught and/or killed.

When Arthur came up and took the red dress, Merlin grinned like an idiot and pointed at the dress and Arthur. "Red, a very good choice. Suits you the best," his tone was filled with mirth, but he was sure the joke wouldn't be welcomed, especially when he heard the threat. He was about to answer with an "I know you would," but instead decided to say -- the unspoken statement obvious from him frowning expression -- "Why would I? You can trust me, you know." It wasn't like he wanted it to be known Arthur wore a dress -- even though it was quite amusing -- because he would be wearing one too! Plus... Arthur would kill him. Not quite literally (he hoped), but through whatever torments the Prince's warped mind could possibly thing up of.

"Oh, you do know how to put on a dress, right?" Merlin added. "Because we shouldn't waste any time."