Courage [Brynn]

[Alexander]

(Time: Just after the five day festivities)

Perhaps it was the way Alex paced back and forth in front of the meadows gate that had the few passerby give him odd looks. It also might have been the fact that as he walked he was gesturing with his hands, one of which held a bunch of flowers. He feet led him past the same gate a few times before he checked the sun with a sigh. Any minute now Brynn would be coming back with her flock of geese and Alex would have no more time to worry over what he was going to say. Whomever had said courting a girl was easy was sadly mislead. Even if Alex managed to not turn tail and run, he was unsure he would be able to put together a string of coherent sentences.
His sleeves were rolled up from working earlier and he was pretty sure the flowers he had would wilt a bit if he kept gesturing so wildly with them so he sank down to sit on the small fence. Placing the flowers down next to him, Alex let his head sink into his hands. A sigh escaped him as he tried to get his jumbled thoughts in order. He could do this, he just needed to stay calm and not say anything stupid.

Lifting himself up again he stood as straight as he could and again tried to practice what to say. This time he was convinced he would not utter the phrase, 'I stole these flowers for you'. Not only would she not be impressed, but he was pretty sure he could get in trouble for that. Why did romance always get one into trouble usually avoided. Was there a rule somewhere that said that love had to hand in hand with disaster? For once Alex wished the world would be content to have an uneventful and peaceful love story. Alex started to speak again.
"Brynn, I know this is a bit fast and all, but I think of you all the time and... I mean It isn't like I'm obsessed or anything but- And I think it's because I love you... Which I do in a completely non creepy and crazy way!" Alex said before sitting again on the bench. Was it too late for him to take a vow of silence. For the first time in his life Alex was pretty sure that not speaking at all might be the best option.

Resting his chin in one hand, Alex let his feet trace some random patterns in the dirt. He again reviewed his thoughts carefully. What was the best way to tell someone that they have become your absolute world in the last week? Alex didn't think he had a snowball's chance in hell of this going smoothly, but at least he was trying. Maybe you got bonus points for courage.

[Brynn Reade]

This was a perfectly normal day. Just like every work day, Brynn told herself. Now the festivities were over some might complain about having to go back to their routine again, but Brynn was not one of those. She liked her work, herding the geese, it was just what she liked to spend the day with. She was out in the open, where the wind could play with her hair and the feathery beasts followed her and her whip just well. When the sun was beginning to set, she would lead the noisy herd back towards the castle, put them into their stalls, and then she would go look if her mother needed any help in the kitchen.
That wasn’t the case often, but today… maybe there would be an opportunity? Brynn caught herself already hoping it would come true and she rolled her eyes at herself. Again… again her thoughts were racing and dancing and finally settling on one familiar face. Alex…

What was it about him that sent her for a loop? Alright, she better not started counting the reasons on her fingers, there were quite too many. Reasons, that is. His smile for one… this dazzling, cheery smile that could make your knees go limp in a minute. Or the way they had danced together just the other day: Him spinning her round and round and her feeling completely secure, like she was flying and would not fall. If she was deeply and purely honest with herself, then Alex was everything she had been wishing for. Freedom in safety, safety in freedom. Enough cheek and wit to not appear boring, but there was this truth in his eyes…
If it was truth and she was not imagining things! Ever since she had met Alex Brynn could not trust her mind, and that was something very unsettling for the thoughtful girl.

But there was no use in pondering over it all day, and as she looked at the setting sun, Brynn found the time to head back to the castle had come.
Taking up her whip ans adjusting the new flower wreath in her hair, she opened the little stall she had kept the geese in on the meadow and ushered them out and towards the gate in the distance that marked the beginning of the town. While she walked she kept humming to herself, in high spirits as she was, and occasionally she had to monish her fosterlings when they acted out of line.
“Queenie, Martin, will you stop ganging up on Flowfeather?” “Bluedown, keep in line if you please – Bessy, you too… we don’t have all day”

She never raised her voice though and her tone was never harsh. The animals otherwise followed her nicely and even seemed to like her – if you could judge a goose’s affection by the way she behaved that was.
Like this, she carried on for a few minutes until the gate came in view. Brynn looked ahead and found someone was standing there, Shading her eyes against the sun she tried to find out who it was, as it didn’t look like a guard, but it was only when she was just a few steps apart that she recognized him with a pang of giddy excitement. Alex! What in God’s name was he doing here? Wasn’t he supposed to be in the kitchen? Had he --? No, of course he had not come out here for her! That was ridiculous!

“… Hey there!” she managed to call out and hoped for all it was worth she would not blush… too much. Already she felt her heartbeat accelerate and her breath quicken. “Now that is a nice surprise… shouldn’t you be in the citadel?”

[Alexander]

As Alex pondered his situation, he slowly became aware of noises from behind him in the direction of the meadows. He turned his head to see just the person he was waiting for. Knowing it was his absolute last chance to flee, Alex took hold of the gate with his left hand and steadied himself. His stomach started to free fall as he turned more so that he could get an unobstructed view of Brynn as she seemed to chat with her geese. He found the whole thing extremely endearing s it seemed she was scolding the geese. It almost reminded Alex of when someone would talk to young and unruly children. The geese of course did a remarkable impression of young and unruly children. They even had the chatter dead on. Yet Brynn seemed to have the patience of the day itself and Alex couldn't help but admire her all the more.
As she got closer, Alex realized he was staring and hastily stood up and picked up the flowers, which were a few petals short from his worrying earlier. There wasn't anything Alex could do about it at the moment so they remained clutched at his side as Alex valiantly tried to think of something to say when Brynn got close enough. He was failing quite miserably when she spoke first. Alex thought he might thank the heavens at that very moment, but found his voice running away with him already.

"The citadel could not keep me in on a day like this." He said with a small flourish with his unoccupied hand. The other had the flowers half hidden behind his back. His smile almost faltered when he realized she would not know he came out to see her and would assume he was simply enjoying the day.
"But I also wanted to see you!" He amended quickly. He then felt like kicking himself for sounding so utterly silly and crazy. Now she would think he was overeager or would be annoyed by him being so presumptuous to meet her when she very well may not want to see him right now.

Alex tried to think of some way to start up a conversation so he could smoothly bring up what he really wanted to say, but instead found himself looking at the wreath in her hair or the way her eyelashes fluttered ever so slightly when she blinked... He stuck out his flower clutching hand to stop himself from just staring.
"These are for you. I didn't steal them." He spoke quickly. This was slowly turning into the disaster h had foreseen and gave himself credit for at least saying he hadn't in fact stolen the flowers. Not that he had really, more like borrow them with no intention of ever giving them back. Which was completely different, he told himself in his head.

Alex tried to keep up with his own thoughts as they whirled through his head, but he found it more difficult by the second. With her not a few feet away and walking toward him it was almost impossible to think of anything but how much he wanted to reach out and touch her, or simply find some way to convey how he felt without sounding like an idiot. At the moment, Alex wasn't sure if he would have been better off running. He would consider running even at this point, but his feet were glued to the ground as if someone had nailed them there. If anything, Alex found the only thing he could in fact control was his smile. Although even that grew quite large an threatened to overwhelm his face. He blamed the nice day and Brynn talking to him which created a deadly combination for Alex. This in turn made him wonder if she could tell the chaos that had his mind ensnared or whether his attempt to look normal was working. However, the mystery of whether his self-control was evident was not his most pressing of concerns at the moment.

Alex wondered if she would find it weird if he told her she looked like a wind nymph. He also wondered why that was the first thing that popped into his head.

[Brynn Reade]

There was this one thing Brynn had learned in her previous encounters with the cheery kitchen boy, and that was that it was absolutely impossible staying focused around him for long. Sometimes his behaviour was just a little bit on the ‘too much’ side for Brynn, who was used to just so many words being spoken, as she didn’t come from a very talkative family. There was always something going on in the castle, but Brynn mostly missed the bustling daylight hours and rather spend them in the quietude and serenity of the outside meadows.
It was not like she didn’t like Alex, she liked him very much indeed, and also had found out she couldn’t stand the thought of any girl making eyes at him – and she had seen some already in the little time she had come to notice him. It was just a matter of needing a little time to adjust to the new situation, like letting your hair down in preperation of an oncoming storm. With a little secret smile Brynn realised she was already drawing very telling comparisons. Yes, you could say that… Alex was like a storm, something that could come on a little too strong for comfort but which she loved because it made herself feel free.

But here came the second problem when talking to Alex: you couldn’t afford to let your thoughts wander, because if you did, something unexpected was about to happen, and then you were bound to make a fool of yourself.
Just like now. He – what?! He had just admitted he wanted to see her? As this comment came without any warning, there was no way Brynn could keep her cheeks from adopting a rose tone and her mouth from blurting out: “Oh? You.. you do? Eh, did? Eh…?!” which made her blush all the more. Where was the hole in the ground to swallow her up? Could anyone behave more idiotic in the presence of anyone?!
“I mean… I… didn’t expect that and…well… now I actually don’t know what to say…” she trailed off even again, and gave up for now. There was just no use in trying to speak when you were this flustered.

And just as she tried to regain her usual calm and collected personality again, she saw the flowers Alex presented her and was instantly left speechless again. Was she dreaming?! Had he really picked flowers for her? Now… Brynn might not be an expert on such things, but even she knew that receiving flowers from a man meant something. And this knowledge alone left her helpless… until she finally could settle on something to do.
Reaching out her hand hestitantly, she took the flowers and instantly smelled them, inhaling their sweet fragrance deeply. “Oh, they’re wonderful, thank you!” she spoke from the very bottom of her heart where there seemed to be still some words left.
“And even if you stole them… you’d be forgiven, as they are so pretty!”

That was all well and good, but how to proceed from there? What did a girl that had just received flowers say, after the obligatory thanks were through? She couldn’t very well be all straightforward and ask him why he had come out here to give her flowers. Did she even dare to think the answer? But no… maybe this was just him being nice, as he probably knew by now how much she liked flowers, what with her constant weaving of wreaths. That brought memories back to her, of a night of dancing and cheerful banter. How it had been all so easy back then. Why were such things so much more difficult in the light of day? That was hardly to be called fair!
“Um… so I guess regular work life caught up with you as well?”
Inwardly Brynn wanted to hit herself. What kind of stupid comment was that?! What would he think of her now?

[Alexander]

What if he was talking too much? Alex couldn't shake the feeling that any moment he would say something just a bit too strange or would frighten her away. Frankly he was surprised Brynn even stayed this long. It wasn't that Alex thought girls didn't like him, he had always been a bit of a charmer, he just had never worried if one liked him as much as he did now. There had been a few girls in the past who had showed interest, but he had never really liked one quite this much. It was hard to see why people liked you so much when you were convinced every other word you said must come out like mush.
Overall, Alex had to take a breath in order to control his heartbeat as he thought of what to say next. All he had to do was play it cool in a 'I would love to take you out some time' way, and not a 'I'm a tad crazy for you and don't know what I'm doing' way. If he tried that method perhaps he wouldn't end up looking ridiculous.

Her reaction to his words had him all the more self-conscious. Was she stuttering slightly because she was scared or surprised? What if he had blown it already? Alex merely smiled as his eyes widened a bit in panic. She also seemed to be as clueless as he was as she tried to think of something to say. Alex prayed in his mind it was because she was also nervous and liked him as well and not because she was thinking of an escape route.
"You don't have to say anything. I would hate for you to feel like I'm putting you on the spot in any way." He hastily said as if to make amends. He already felt like any moment he would sink to the floor and give up this folly. In fact, Alex would give about anything for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Although the taste of his panic might not go down so well with the dirt. It would be just his luck if it spit him right back out. If Brynn was as flustered as she looked and Alex continued to lose himself in his words, this conversation would go no where and some servant would find them a half an hour later stammering like fools.

She liked the flowers. Alex did a small flip in his mind and patted himself on the back for the wonderful idea. He also conveniently forgot that it was in fact not his idea, but had been a suggestion from a friend. All the more, Alex found his voice returning to him as the small bit of confidence he had left grew a bit brighter. Perhaps he was not a lost cause after all. All he had to do was do what he did best. Talk. If he didn't freak out any more he should be fine. He continued to repeat this inner mantra to himself as he smiled brightly and let his shoulders relax a bit.
"Flowers can but compare to your loveliness on any given day, no?" He said. He congratulated himself on the nicely worked out compliment. Hopefully it would sound flattering but not like he had rehearsed it. Not that Alex ever rehearsed what he would say. Too often the rehearsal of such things were absolutely dreadful and he ended up saying something entirely different as evidenced by this very statement. Alex was indeed glad he had decided on this comment as opposed to the words he had been working on before Brynn had arrived. If anything Alex would never say anything he didn't mean completely, and so Alex decided he would just be honest with her.

Her words after thanking him were a bit out of the blue and Alex had to falter for a moment to decide how to respond.
"Uh, I guess it has a bit. Although working in the kitchens is actually a bit easier when we aren't in the middle of festivities." He responded with a slightly confused look on his face. Was she perhaps mad that he hadn't visited her until now? He inwardly pondered what the proper etiquette was on visiting girls you met at festivals and wanted to ask out. Perhaps he should have come a bit sooner. r perhaps he read too much into the statement. Either way if he didn't say something now he figured he would chicken out.
"I came to see you because I like you. And at first I was a bit worried I would make a fool of myself, but I've already seemed to have done that bit." Alex said with a sheepish grin crossing his face. He felt all of five years old as he clasped his hands in front of him, and waited for some kind of reply.

[Brynn Reade]

Had anyone ever felt and acted so stupid in the entire history of mankind? Brynn was fairly sure she at least ranked high on the list, maybe amongst the top five of ‘most stupid and awkward ways to talk to a man you like’. She should flee the scene and forget it all, find herself a hole that didn’t trigger her claustrophobia and never ever emerge from it again. Everything was better than staying here, waiting for him to give up, turn around and go, as he realised he had been thoroughly mistaken ever wasting his time on such a crazy and apparently misanthrophic girl. Yes, the time with her geese must have turned her into some weird species, unable to socialize and hold normal conversations with anyone but her own family and herself.
Only that this wasn’t any normal conversation. The thought suddenly occurred to Brynn and made the embarrassment a little more bearable. She had been able to talk with Alex nicely before, the evenings of the festivities had been ample proof for that. Only now, when apparently feelings from her side were involved things started to become difficult and awkward. She was not used to this. Never before had she had felt so conscious of what she might say or do and never before had she been so scared of alienating someone. This created a pressure as high as any mountain top and surely as heavy on her shoulders. Wasn’t it only normal she felt helpless?

And now he said she didn’t have to say anything? Now that prospect actually made Brynn chuckle and she found an inkling of her old easy-goingness she had developed around him again.
“Now, but when I stopped talking altogether, what kind of conversation would that be? People do it all the time, converse I mean… it shouldn’t be that difficult. So, maybe if you grant me one last try?”
Alright, she felt a little less stupid now she had actually managed to talk in fully comprehendable and hopefully logical sentences. Maybe she should not focus so much on the smile on his face though… it made her mind go blank all over again.

And apparently, Alex had found back to his usual ways as well, at least for the moment, but his compliment made her blush once again. Alright… don’t panic… just deal with it like you dealt with it a few days before… laugh… say something halfway witty back… just act normal!
How come he had such compliments always ready at hand anyway? Brynn would never be so mean to think they were not individual and used on any girl that passed his way. No… that was not Alex, right? After all, Brynn’s mother had often enough told her about this young man’s spontaneity to work up ways to annoy the cook. There was nothing ingenuine about him, right? That still left the question open if he really meant every word he said though.
“Now now, don’t make the flowers jealous”, she actually managed to tease and was quite proud of it. “Some of them have thorns you know and tend to use them on you if they are displeased. I should know!” she showed him her hands that had some little cuts from her previously weaving a wreath.

Still annoyed by her lame comment about being back to work days, Brynn hurried to make amends somehow. But how?
“I agree, but don’t you think festivities have their amenities as well”, she commented, smiling knowingly. “I don’t know if we could go dancing every night. Though of course that would be fun!”
Again it was her turn to blush. That was the problem with trying to make amends, you just manoevred yourself into the next tight spot! Hadn’t she just all but implied she dreamt of going dancing with him again? Well… she would be lying if she claimed it wasn’t true. This night she probably would never forget, twisted ankle or no.

Far too occupied was she with sweet memories, and so his words apparently passed by her ears without being comprehended at first, it took her some time to catch up with their meaning. But then they hit with full force and made her heart skip several beats which brought her close to the queasy feeling of near-fainting. "I came to see you because I like you.” Now her heart was jumping and turning over like one of those gypsy acrobates you could sometimes see passing through. He had just…? Yes, apparently he had! But… liking… that was a very cautious word, she should not get overexcited…! No, better not… and yet…
His honesty was also moving though and it made focusing on the other part of the sentence so much easier.
“Oh, I think I’m keeping you good company there, making a fool of myself”, she sighed and smiled. “But I guess that comes naturally”, she added, lowering her voice and not daring to look at him directly, “… when you like someone…”

[Alexander]

Alex figured the slight shake in his hands was the least of his worries at the moment. Although it lessened somewhat as Brynn seemed to relax. Alex could feel himself doing the same as he shifted back into the mood he had been in in their previous encounters. Even then he had felt the spark of something, but it hadn't been untill he had gotten home after their shared night of dancing that the strange rush of emotion had caught up with him. Three loaves of burnt bread the next day had prodded him into seeking advice, and now here he was. Alex was sure that the last two days of constant second guessing had done absolutely nothing to calm his nerves. It was not like him at all to think twice before speaking, but for Brynn he could do it.

"But of course! You seem to speak exceptionally well. Allow me to refrain from speaking over you. You have to say but a word and I will desist from too much chatter." He replied. Immediately he cursed himself for speaking too much. How had he not realized he was letting his voice run away with him. At this rate his voice could be a world famous sprinter at the rate he was going.
Brynn seemed to be less nervous looking and it did wonders for Alex's composure. It was hard to worry about everything when he was observing her smile. In fact it was hard to do much else when she smiled. It was if the very air he breathed stilled and stopped his thoughts in their tracks. For a moment he was silent, and didn't feel the need to blurt out whatever came to mind.

With Alex observing her, it wasn't hard to catch the blush. It left Alex in a curious state as to whether it was due to embarrassment or whether she had thought something else. Alex prayed for a moment that it was because some miracle occurred and she returned his sentiments. He almost missed her words but caught them at the last second. He laughed outright as she spoke. Her wit was surprising as she didn't talk nearly as much as Alex did. He found himself completely charmed.
"Then they are not worth the word, for what could harm such delicate hands as these." Alex said with a smile that was gentle and calmer then his easy grins of before. With a finger and a hand that shook no longer he brushed a small cut on Brynn's hand. He didn't linger long and withdrew his limb with a blush to rival her's.

Her second comments had Alex even more enthralled if it were possible. His thoughts echoed her words as she spoke. He would take her dancing every night if he could. They could dance right off through the sunset and then to the sun's rise the next day. Then again their feet might start to hurt so they could most likely take a few breaks. Not to mention they might get hungry, so perhaps a late dinner...
"Then I shall have to eagerly await the next festival, no? I do hope you will save me a dance." Or let me steal you for the whole night. Alex didn't add the last part, and was quite glad it didn't slip out anyway. For a moment the idea of someone else dancing with Brynn annoyed Alex slightly. He would not like that at all. Especially those shady knights. The ones that before Brynn had been seen by Alex as honest but who now made him slightly suspicious for no good reason.

Alex hung on her every word and sigh. Her response had him quiet for a good moment as he tried his best to comprehend what she was saying. She didn't look at him directly but Alex found that he couldn't quite look at her either. However, when her final sentence came out, Alex let his eyes turn to hers. Had she just replied in the way he thought she had. Alex shifted on his feet and thought of what to say before carefully responding.
"Perhaps it does... If you aren't, uh, busy tonight, I wondered if perhaps you would like to get some food and perhaps take a walk... with me."

[Brynn Reade]

Exceptionally well? Now there was some exceeding flattery! It made Brynn chuckle to think anyone could really take her for a good speaker. Because she knew she was anything but. Alex’ encouragement though was sweet, however embarrassing it could be on the other hand. It reminded her of their previous encounters, first the carefree meeting in the kitchen, then the happenstance or semi-happenstance encounter the next night. And then the tournament… hadn’t it been there when Brynn first had started to realise this young man meant more to her than others she might know, like Merlin or Elwyn, the hunter? Maybe… the jealousy she had felt when she thought him and Gwen were acting just a little too familiar with each other… it had spoken volumes, even for Brynn herself. But until now, she had told no one of her growing feelings, not even her mother. She might guess though, she always did. Meghan Reade sometimes was far too perceptive for Brynn’s comfort.
“You’re not speaking over me, you’re filling embarrassing gaps for which I am exceptionally glad”, she told him with a smile. “Perhaps I should finally take some lessons with you – if only to not make a fool of myself constantly.”

Brynn’s breath actually caught in her throat when Alex’ finger brushed the delicate skin around the cut in her palm, but not because she felt pain, she felt… - what was it even she felt?! She could put no name to it, only knew that it was possibly the most scaring and yet sweetest sensation she had ever felt. And she wished he would just leave his fingers there, not withdraw them like was proper.
“I… I’m sure they did mean no harm”, she whispered. “After all, no flower wants to be picked just to serve some girl as an adornment, but eventually dying from the moment she’s severed from the ground. A little blood is but a small price to pay, don’t you think?”
Even more when it leads to … things such as this… Had she had no cuts and scratches, Alex would have never felt tempted to touch her palm after all.

The next festival… the stars only knew when that would be! Brynn was surprised to feel a slight tugging of longing inside her, wishing herself back to the dance and the fire. Gladly her ankle had stopped hurting entirely, so now nothing could be held against giving this giddy experience another try. Alas, where there was no festival, there was no time off to go celebrate, and most of the musicians had probably also moved on, out of Camelot towards the next festivity that was to occur somewhere. And sadly, without music there just was no dancing. Of course they could go down into one of those taverns where music was never far, but something in Brynn shied away from that. It was too… common, too public.
“Oh I doubt anyone else would like to dance with me anyway”, she joked and chuckled. “So you’re good! I will definitely leave some space for you, if only so you can shield me from bumping attacks again.”
She sounded so confident, so sure of everything, and actually wondered where that came from, because inside, Brynn was feeling anything but.

His words, his carefully and deliberately sounding suggestion made Brynn start and stare for a moment. Not because she couldn’t believe his cheek on asking something like that, but because she wasn’t ready to trust her own ears. Could he be meaning her? And yet, the way he had spoken didn’t make it sound like a rash slip of the tongue. But if he meant it… what did THAT mean? Brynn might be a novice in all things concerning meeting up with boys, but even she knew that taking someone for a walk… in the evening no less!! – meant at least something! Too late she realised she had not been saying a word for several moments, and she hastily cleared her closed off throat.
“Oh…OH! I mean… yes, of course! Why not?” she almost tripped over her own words in her eagerness to show him her shock had not been born out of any ill feelings. “Shall we meet in the kitchen then? When will you get off work? Or… do you have to work again today?” Clearly… her mind wasn’t working correctly anymore, and he was to blame! She couldn’t even remember things he might have told her earlier!