Guilty Pleasures

[Arthur Pendragon]

She spoke up for him and the men? Is that what got her slapped? Arthur knew she was a courageous woman, and to know that she was injured because she was defending him and the knights . . . he wasn't sure how he felt about that. He just wished she hadn't been punished in this way. But he was also proud of her in a sense. That she was so strong, not only for speaking up for herself -- though again, he feared the punishment for it -- but also for thinking clearly and using the servant's entrance as a means to escape. She was still leaving out details of what happened when she'd been sent to the general's room after having seen him for that brief period in the grand hall. That was what he wanted to know about. He was in no way ignoring her first injury, but . . . he had feared for her when the general spoke of, laying his hands on her. And Arthur had nearly gone mad in the cell, not knowing what was happening to her, if she was alright. If he was . . .

"What were you thinking walking in there with no weapons and no men to help you?!" He did not miss the panic in her voice nor when he had seen her for that short time. But he was not about to focus the conversation on him. His actions were not that of a brave man, but a man so desperately in love with a woman. That he would give anything for a simple glimpse of her. "I needed to see you," he said casually, but with emotion. It was a simple fact. He had not gone in there for any other reason but to see her. He had made a promise to her and he had failed in the beginning . . . he had made a promise to her son . . . he was not going to betray his word. He loved her far too much to simply wait to attack. He had needed to get in there as soon as possible. "What happened, after I saw you?" He asked, still trying to get her to tell him the details of it.

[Guinevère]

He answered her question so causally that her mind actually spun! He'd came in there looking for her? She knew he was talking about something else now but she couldn't quite bring her mind to get off his answer. "Arthur, wait!" She asked, "You came looking for me?"

"You walked into a trap because you wanted to see me?" How romantically foolish! "You are a king! You can not risk your life in such a way! What would have happened if they'd harmed you?!" Her hand came out to him and she felt a reminder of that fear, and echo of sorts. "I could not bared the sight of you dying, or the knowledge. I love you! Do not ever risk yourself in such a way again. Not for me. You are too important!"

[Arthur Pendragon]

She was upset. That much was clear. That she had not at all approved with his reasons for going in there. Then again, he never expected she would be. He knew how she was. Selfless. Yet he didn't like that she placed his life as important, suggesting that hers was less. She was not the only one who did that either. The knights did that too. He knew what they meant when they said such a thing; that he was a king, the ruler of Camelot. But . . . his life was not more valuable than hers. Not to him. Because to him, she was the most important person that existed in this world. He paused for a moment, feeling her hand on his cheek as he looked at her. He was not going to listen to her words, warning him to never do it again. Because he knew if he had the opportunity, he would have made the same decision. He always would. "And I could not bare the thought that something may have happened to you."

His voice was strong, showing the utmost confidence in his decision. Not regretting it for a second. "You are too important to me," he said, somewhat countering her words. "Your life is no less valuable than mine. You mean more to me than anyone else in this world." His tone held that same strength, as if his words were fact, rather than the words of some love sick man. Because he would risk his life for her ten times over . . . because he loved her. "And I would do anything to protect you." He knew this wasn't helping. That he'd already failed in protecting her but, he wanted her to know that despite the circumstances that kept hem apart . . . she still meant more to him than anything or anyone.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère disagreed. His life was worth more! A kingdom of millions relied on him staying alive and them not falling into Morgana's hands. There was no heir and no one to claim the Pendragon name after him. He could not die! Even ignoring his title he had MANY friends and MANY people who loved him--her above the others--who did not wish to see him dead!

"You can not risk the kingdom for me. I could not live with my self if I was the reason you had died!"Her voice was highly emotional and painful! She was hurting at the knowledge he'd die for her! She didn't want anyone to die for her! She wanted him to LIVE for her! "Lancelot did that! Died for me and Thomas! I refused to loose you! Not that way! You are not allowed to dos something noble and brave and selfless! You are to live! Live because I could not bare the loss of you! Because no one could!"

Her hands came out to grasp his shoulders as if she could make him listen to her! "I love you! I can not bare the idea that you should just give up your life like that! Don't you dare die for me Arthur Pendragon! LIVE for me! That is what I want from you! For you to be alive!"

[Arthur Pendragon]

She was growing increasingly upset, it was not difficult to tell. In a way, he appreciated it . . . for it showed how much she loved him. Just as he hoped his actions showed how much he loved her. If something had happened, he would never have wanted that sort of guilt to be placed on her shoulders. He would never want her blaming herself if something happened to him. He knew it was a bit hypocritical because every time something happened to her, he blamed himself. But he was not going to dwell on what could have happened. He was not going to tell her that he could have died; that there was a high chance he could have died. None of that mattered . . . so long as she was safe. Which she was now, so they need not focus on what ifs. He knew it couldn't have been easy to bring up her husband in such a context. Did she blame herself for his death? He certainly hoped not.

Lancelot had done something that Arthur had meant to do. He was a hero for his actions, even though he wished another man had not had to pay the price . . . not when it had been Arthur's mission and duty. "Guinevère," he began to say in a calm voice, hoping to ease her worries. He was not going to make any promises, nor was he going to upset her further. "You once told me to follow my heart. To make decisions based on my heart, rather than the expectations others have of me." He paused putting one hand on her unbruised cheek. "For the first time in a long time, I felt like I made the right decision. Because I heeded to your advice." He had followed his heart, he had followed Guinevère into the estate. It had been the right thing to do and he knew that. He wanted to show her that he was trying to be that man. The one who would follow what his heart told him to do, rather than remain rational and logical.

"Never blame yourself." For anything. He wanted her to understand that. Whether she blamed herself for Lancelot's death, or if she would blame herself for his own. "I love you more than anything." Because that was something else that was of extreme importance. Something he wanted to tell her now. Something that had caused his actions. He leaned forward to lightly kiss her before pulling back, merely adding more sentiment to his words, if that were at all possible. "You and I are both safe now. That is what matters." Not the risk involved in what had happened. He would not tell her that he wouldn't do it again, because he would . . . in a heart beat. There were some things that he just didn't think about. That he just acted on. Protecting the woman he loved was one of them. And that would never change.

[Guinevère]

She knew that she would forever wish he had not 'followed' his heart into the estate filled with foes but she could not help but to think of her own words. He was not acting as a king but as a man, like she often asked him too. She knew that telling him that he should not would only counter her own actions. "Arthur," She spoke his name softly, but she wasn't sure what to say after that.

She prayed he kept following his heart and it lead him great places. That he found joy again and friends and everything worked out for him. "I love you." She could not fight him when he used her own words against him, "I wish you were more careful but I love you and wouldn't change a single thing about you." Nothing. not even a hair on his head. "I missed you." She admitted, knowing she should not. Could not! His wife was waiting for him at home!

Her son was waiting for her. Starting anything would being down both families and cause such a massive amount of pain to everyone their lives touched in any sort of connected way. It was selfish and foolish and stupid. Yet she could not loose him!

He wasn't her's too lose.

[Arthur Pendragon]

He just softly smiled when she said that she loved him. That she wished he was more careful and . . . how she missed him. Words could not explain how much he missed her. How much he longed for her. Whether it was her company to talk, or nights of intimacy. Either way, he just missed being with her. Though he knew he had no right to miss her . . . yet in this moment, he didn't care. "I miss you too," he admitted to her. "I, can't stop thinking about you," he added. Since he had already admitted one bit, why not go further. What did it matter now. Nothing could make his betrayal to Elena any worse. He had already slept with another woman, multiple times. And he had said he loved her. And, he was willing to die for her. He had already fully betrayed his wife . . . nothing would make him feel any more guilty.

The guilt within him so vast, and yet, he did nothing to alleviate it. For he still wished to spend time with her. Allowing a few moments of silence to pass, he resumed cleaning her wound. He still wanted to know how it happened, but at the same time did not just yet want to spoil the mood. He had just calmed her down after growing upset and in disagreement with his actions. He did not want to immediately give her cause to be upset over something else. He would let their emotions somewhat settle. But he was far from letting the subject go completely. He was still determined to get to the bottom of what happened. To find out if the general lay his hands on her in any way.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère knew it was wrong to smile when he told her that he missed her, and he could not stop thinking about her but she smiled brightly anyway. It was silly and she knew it was to be glad of such a thing but knowing she was not alone in the loving of him (or well, that he loved her in return) made her heart swell with love. She wanted to pretend that he was her husband but knew better then to allow such foolish games to fill her heart. It would only lead to heartbreak in the end.

"I can not stop thinking of you either. I think about you every day." And she knew that she should not. He was not her's to think of in such a way. It seemed she had loved him forever, even though she knew that it had only been a part of her adult life. She could not fully remember a time in her life when she had not thought about him, and loosing back now the thought were always of love. They might not have been at the time but now they were. He was cleaning her face again and she did not speak so that he could follow do so, but she was thinking of his kiss and how that one little thing could make her feel better more so then anything else.

"I am unhurt," She whispered softly, knowing that her face might suggest other wise but she also did not want him to think she would not tell him the story because of something darker.

[Arthur Pendragon]

"I can not stop thinking of you either. I think about you every day." His thoughts were practically in sync with hers. He knew that he should not be happy to hear this. And once they returned to the reality of their lives then he would realize that in the end, it would just hurt to think of these words. To know that they both cared about each other so much, yet could do nothing about it. Well, they could . . . they could do what they have been doing. But, Elena was there now. It would be the first time since his and Guinevère's first night of intimacy, that his wife would be in the castle too. But again, Arthur pushed these thoughts out of his mind. Wanting to think of nothing but her. "I also think of you every day." He paused only to lean forward to kiss her. "And every night," he whispered, kissing her again. He missed her in a stronger way than he had before.

Pulling back to clean the wound, she said that she was unhurt. Arthur could not dismiss the evidence however. He was not willing to let it go. "Will you tell me what happened?" He asked again, knowing that he should have held it off. But with the topic refocused on it . . . he wanted to hear about it. So that they could move on from this. So that he could spend the night holding her and trying not to think of what had caused the bruises on her face. He knew there was more to the story, much more. For when he had found her she'd been surrounded by men, and the general looked far less pleased than before. Something had happened, and he needed to know what it was.

[Guinevère]

He was driving her slightly mad with the kisses and then pulling away to ask her about something that would upset him. "I can," she told him, not planning to give him details. She didn't want him thinking of what might have happened, only what she was going to do to him if he kept kissing her. "I was taken from the room where I saw you, to wait for hours in a bedroom. Nothing happened. By the time he came form the knights had invaded and he had other worries."

"I tried to escape and they found me in the hall . . . I think I . . . . I don't know what happened after that." He's hit her so hard she could not remain awake. She wasn't sure what had happened after that but she'd awoken here. She didn't feel anything or any for of buries down there so surely that mean they had not done anything. "Then I woke here. And I was safe."

That was the softer tale, but it was an honest one. She wasn't going to make him hear who afraid she was, or how things had happened. She would spare him that. Let him only know that he'd came in time. He'd kept the story from being a bad one.

[Arthur Pendragon]

So she had been sent up to the bedroom. How had she escaped? Why had it taken so long for her to escape? Why had the general looked so angry with her? Not that he needed an excuse to hit her. There would be no justification for such a violent act. And he had struck her hard enough to render her unconscious. The thought alone sent a wave of fury through him, though of course he managed to keep it under control. For he would never lash out against her when his anger was directed towards someone else. "How did you escape?" He asked, wondering if she was giving him the lighter version of what happened. The general had entered the room . . . he had been there. With her.

And Arthur needed to just be absolutely certain that nothing happened. He wasn't sure why, but he just needed to know. For his own peace of mind. He stopped cleaning the wound for a moment, looking directly at her, knowing that if she answered this question directly, then he would not ask her again. He trusted her. "Guinevère, are you sure he didn't lay a hand on you?" As he had threatened to do. He had seen that sinister gleam of perversion in the man's eyes. As if he would actually carry out the threat. And that was what had caused Arthur to become so enraged. Because he had feared that Guinevère would fall victim to the man's crudeness.

[Guinevère]

He was worried someone had put his hands on her, and she knew that she had to ease this fear. "My arms are a bit sore from being pulled around the castle but other then that, and . . . " Her cheek, "I feel nothing else. Surely if they had done anything I would know?" But she had been out cold and did not know for sure. "I spent most my time in the tower with the other woman."

She wondered why he was asking this so clearly. How had he found her? Was there something she did not know? "Do you know who found me? How they found me?" She asked him, "I only remember the hall and then the darkness. I don't really remember anything else." If someone had found her in a sort of why that inspired his questions--did she really even want to know?

[Arthur Pendragon]

He was beginning to feel slight relief when she assured her that nothing more serious was done. Well, more serious than what had already happened. For he did not consider that any small crime. They had assaulted her, not once but twice. And then mishandled her. It was not something he would ever take lightly. Not something he was soon to forget. It was only building the anomosity he felt towards Odin for he kept going after the people he loved -- whether he knew it or not. It needed to come to an end. This was the last straw. "Do you know who found me? How they found me?" He paused briefly, not having realized that she didn't know who found her. That she'd been unconscious the entire time.

"I found you right before." They knocked her unconscious. There was just something about the general's face. Something he could not ignore. "I heard you scream," he added, feeling a chill over having heard her so distressed, and having such a strong fear that something had happened. "I just, wanted to make sure that the general didn't . . . try to do anything to you, in the bedroom?" Both a question and a statement. He had just been so afraid, so terrified, that his concern for her had pushed the general to use her to his advantage. It sickened Arthur. Men like him truly sickened him and he wished he could eradicate the world of such heinous and crude men.

[Guinevère]

She knew that she could answer this honestly, especially now that she knew that he had found her and kept her safe! That nothing had happened to her when the world went black because Arthur had been there to watch over her while she slept. It made her feel better about knowing she had not been awake the whole time. Knowing he'd guarded her. She also knew that it could not have been easy on him to see anyone in such a way. That seeing her must have hurt.

"By the time he got up to the room, he had no time to do anything. There was some crude comments but the knights were taking the state. He ended up yelling out the window most the time." It was true, but she left out her failed escape attempt that had seemed to only make things worse. "Thank you for finding me." She looked into his eyes so he would know she was not harmed, that while she still felt the echos of that time in there it was only the reminders of the fear rather then anything they did to her. "For keeping me safe."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur was immensely relieved to hear that. Though he still wished he had gotten to her moments before she was hit again. Still, the man's intentions . . . his crude intentions, were ones that Arthur was so very glad to hear he didn't get a chance to go through with. Had he . . . no. He couldn't even think about such a thing happening to Guinevère. It hadn't. And that was what mattered now. "I'm so relieved to hear that," he said in a low voice, just speaking aloud his utter relief that he hadn't had a chance to put his hands on her. In a more forcefully lewd way. Then she thanked him, for having kept her safe . . . and he knew he didn't deserve such gratitude. His arrival was still late. "You needn't thank me," he said softly. It was his duty to protect her . . . not only because she was a citizen of Camelot, but because he loved her.

He brought the cloth to her bruised cheek, gently wiping it. "I just wish none of this had happened." None of the strikes she had suffered. "It seems that it always takes an injury to bring us together." He was trying to joke, but the reality of what happened to her weighed it down some, and made the joking tone not as strong as he would have liked. It was true however. First it had been Thomas. Then Arthur. Now her. He wanted to see her under better circumstances. He wanted to just be able to be with her . . . because it was what they wanted. Rather than having a wound as a catalyst for them to find each other. Still. He never would trade a moment he had for her for anything else. Even if it would make things easier, for her . . . and for Elena.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère watched him as he touched the bruise on her cheek and knew he was thinking of it. If Arthur had seen it happen then she could only guess what he was thinking in his mind. She wanted to try and make a joke that the next time they meet needed to be under better events, but she knew there would be no next time.

And she was growing tired of trying to convince her self of that. "How is Elena?" She asked softly, not to rude but knowing they needed the reminder as well as a genuine curiosity about the woman. Guinevère could not even imagine the loss of a child, and how hurt she must even still be. That Arthur must still be. Her hand covered his to make sure he knew that she was asking out of kindness as well.

[Arthur Pendragon]

"How is Elena?" Arthur paused when he heard this question. At first he thought it was because she wished to remind them both of her; how nothing else could happen tonight -- even though it already had. But when she placed her hand on his, he knew she was asking out of genuine concern and curiosity. It made him slightly more inclined to answer, but still did not want to give too many details about her. For obvious reasons, the subject of his wife was a difficult one to talk about. "She's fine," he answered simply but not overly dismissively. The subject of Elena was . . . a difficult one to talk about. Only with Guinevère really. Because, it was his wife. Because she was the reason that they could not be together. At this point, Arthur felt that if he hadn't been married, he would have wanted to marry Guinevère, regardless of all the status barriers.

The lines between ranks were becoming more blurred. Right now, the largest barrier was Elena. And he knew he could not just abruptly end the marriage. It was not fair, to anyone. Which was why he needed to remind himself of her. Ironically . . . when he had been in bed with his wife, all he thought of was Guinevère. Yet when he'd been in bed with Guinevère, no other thoughts of any other woman or person even entered his mind; they were entirely consumed with thoughts of her and solely her. That in itself, showed quite a bit. Not wanting to make the subject awkward when Guinevère had only been trying to find out about how she was doing, he knew he would have to say something else. He couldn't say that they were trying for another child . . . that that was where he had been the night he found out of the danger Guinevère had been in. "She's recovering well." Physically and emotionally.

[Guinevère]

"I am glad to hear that." She said honestly for she would never wish ill on anyone for a elfish reason. She wished that Arthur could have a child and know that joy for it was the GREATEST joy there ever was but she also knew that when the day came it would break her heart. More so then ever before.

Having Thomas was something words could not explain. There was joy and love and so much good that it was something wished on everyone. To know the joys of a child. Even the worry for them sometimes. Her fingers curled tightly around his for a moment before she let go of his hand. She felt a bit unsure as to want to say in the aftermath of the question. Everything casual seemed too random. "Oh!" She looked up suddenly and her face went slightly pale, "I didn't ask about everyone else here! How everyone was?!" She'd been distracted by him and then, too at peace to think clear. Everything was starting to trickle in now.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Part of him was relieved for the change in subject, the other part of him knew that the news was not the greatest. Everyone had made it out alive, but Kolby's home was destroyed and he knew what a loss that must have been. Still. Material objects could be replaced. Lives could not. "Everyone made it out," he explained to her. The hostages, and his men. Everyone except for the deceased. Had the place not burned, he would have made an effort to take out the bodies of Odin's men and at least given them proper rights . . . somehow. For he didn't doubt that those men had families too. But there was no chance. And right now, his mercy was very limited. "But Sir Kolby and Odette's home was burned," he added, that being the worst news.

"There is nothing left of it," he added with regret. There had not been enough time to tame the fires before the engulfed the entire estate. "Everyone was worried about you." Because she had not come out conscious, where as others had. Elyan often kept a strong front but he'd been so worried for his sister's life. And then of course her traveling companions, Marian and Odette. Even Kolby showed concern for the hostages they were keeping inside.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère felt relived that she had taken the worst of it but worried as well, for it could not be easy to loose a home. How many lives would Odin spend in order to advantage one? When did it become worth it? It never would. Why could he not see that? He was a coward, and he was going to cost more in lives then he could ever count.

"I shall have to make sure they have everything they need." She said, trying to think of a way to comfort them. "As much as I avoid Sir Kolby, he did was very willing to be the one who stood between all of us and Odin's men. He and his guards that worked under him. They were all very brave."

"Clothes would be a good place to start." She thought, and in her mind was planning how everything should be planned and done and organized. Looking at Arthur she knew that he would make sure they had everything as well. That he would take this very personally. Her hand reached out to cup his cheek as best as it could, "At least they have their lives, thanks to you."