Empty (Gwaine)

[Brynn Reade]

She was running. Without any direction, without any sense, just running, wanting to get away. She didn’t even see the way she was taking as a veil of tears clouded her eyes. She was running, stumbling, falling, hardly noticing the stinging of her scraped hands and knees, getting up again, running on.
She wanted to run forever, to stop thinking, as if when she stopped thinking about it, stopped acknowledging the truth, it would come undone. Everything would be fine. She would be fine. Alex would be fine.
Alex was dead.
He would never crack a joke again, never again make her blush with one of his flowery compliments. He would never swoop her up in his arms again, making her think she was flying. He had survived so many attacks Camelot had suffered, had battled skeletons and undead soldiers… but he had lost this one last fight.

More tears were streaming down her face and she jostled a few people in her way, but hardly noticed it. One voice called her name but she didn’t stop. She could not stop. If she only could run fast enough, maybe the wind would take her up and take her away from all this horror.
But she felt so detached from it like she had never been in all her life. Like someone had clipped her wings she felt entrapped, encaged on earth for all eternity. She would never fly again. Because the wind beneath her wings had gone. Alex had always been the wind beneath her wings. And now he was dead.
Her feet lead her to her favourite meadow, past the gate where he had told her he loved her. She didn’t see it. She didn’t see anything. Her geese were in their stall in the castle. She could not bother for them now. She could not bother for anything anymore.

As soon as she had reached the little enclosure in the meadows where she spent her days most of the time, her knees gave way and she fell hard on the ground, curling up into a ball.
The screams in the night had been worse enough…
”W-wind I beg you, h-heave me h-high…”
No one had dared to go outside…
“Lift me up… I w-want to… to fly…”
No one had been safe…
“Take me… take me g-gently on your w-wings…”
She had waited for him in the morning…
“Lure me… with your v-voice th-that s-s-sings…”
He had not come
“Thy… bride of… of w-wind I want to be…”
She had searched for him…
The bakery was empty…
In the back room, they had all been laying…
Frozen faces… Alex still shielding Lita..
”C-come my sweetheart…”
It had been too late. The Dorocca had taken him.

“Home…home take me…”
But the wind did not take her. She was all alone.


Tag: Gwaine
Timeline: Ep "The Darkest Hour" Part 1
Time of Day: Morning

[thegwaine]

It had been a long night; an extremely long night. The first night of the ghosts attacks, and they had terrorised the citizens of Camelot. Of course they had heard about the creatures appearance the day before, but it still couldn't prepare them for what had happened. The destruction these creatures just left in their wake was something that Gwaine had found quite frightening in a way. He was more worried of course for the citizens of Camelot than he was for himself. He had been on patrol with Lucan the night before, and there was talk of riding out

However there was no rest for the Knights of Camelot while these things were still on the lose. It seemed as if they were only present during the night, but Gwaine was still incredibly jumpy and itchy. They had figured out that fire repelled the creatures somewhat, so they had been using that to full effect. However, he would feel quite foolish walking round in full daylight with a torch, so he had opted merely for his sword. Though he doubted you could stab these creatures, they had seemed pretty unstabable last night anyway. How could you stab air?!

Gwaine was now on his own sweeping through the surrounding countryside. The general mission was to sweep the landscape, and Gwaine had been left to this side of the surrounding area. He was safe enough by himself during the daylight. He had told the others where he was sweeping anyway, so long as he didn't stray too far off the beaten track he knew he would be fine.

As he heard a voice up ahead he paused and stopped himself; his ears pricking up to try and catch the voice up ahead. His first thought was that it could be trouble; well that was always his first thought wasn't it? Years on the road had taught Gwaine to keep his guard up until he had reason to let it down. Stepping cautiously towards the noise, his hand rested on the hilt of his sword in case his predictions were true.

Gwaine began to walk towards the meadows, his hand still on his sword. It didn't sound exactly like a threatening noise; it sounded like...sobbing? Confusion lined his brow and he stepped with a quicker pace until a small, curled up figure appeared in his eyeline. His hand fell from the top of his sword as he realised exactly who was sat sobbing in front of him, "Brynn?"

[Brynn Reade]

In all her life, Brynn had never felt so thoroughly alone, cut off from everything she held dear. Just a day ago, her life had been nothing short of a fairytale. The wounds from almost a year back had long since healed, they had been looking forward to Samhain, drawing a line under all the horrible events that had come to pass. Start anew, with Arthur reigning as temporary king and doing a wonderful job. She and Alex had made plans together… Alex…
The sole thinking of his name made her feel like she was going to be torn apart. She could not forget the wide open eyes, staring at her in a shocked and surprised expression. His eyes, that had always sparkled with kindness and mischief. Even in his dying breath he had tried to protect those he had loved… though it had not helped them in the end. They were gone, just like him…

No one knew of this yet. She had fled the scene in a stupor and had come straight here, not bearing to face anyone. She did not want to explain, she did not want to talk anymore in her whole life. And she also did not want to face the truth. As long as no one but herself knew it was not official. She could have dreamt it all. Though her aching heart and her trembling limbs clearly told her she was not dreaming. One could not feel such a pain in dreams. One could feel nothing in dreams, it was all just imagination. Oh how she wished to be dreaming!
But the grass under her trembling fingers was real, she could feel the hard soil under her back and also feel the morning dew soak her bodice and skirt. This was real… Alex was dead.

She was far gone from her surroundings, but not far enough to not hear someone approaching. Instinctively, she curled up even more, bringing her knees up under her chin and hugging them with her arms. She did not want to see anyone. She could not. She could not say it…
”Brynn”
A male voice… a male voice she knew very well. For a thoroughly crazy moment she imagined it to be Alex. But no, that could not be. Alex would never call her again. Alex was dead…

”Alex is dead.”
She had not even noticed she had spoken the words aloud and they had been said to no one in particular, not even to that voice calling her name. Her voice was hollow, void of any emotions. She could not feel anything. She was a shell. Empty.

[thegwaine]

Gwaine looked around him first of all, just to see if they were alone or not. Surely Brynn wasn’t out here on her own, especially after what had passed the night before. Then again from her state it was clear to see that thinking rationally was the last thing on her mind. He felt slightly awkward, it was never easy seeing women cry, but it was even more difficult if you didn’t know what had caused that grief. It made it harder to bring comfort; if any. Gwaine had known Brynn for over a year now, he had even taught her brother a trick or two with a wooden sword. However, none of the things which had passed before between them made this situation any easier. Gwaine had never really been relied upon to bring a woman comfort, it wasn’t exactly in his job description. He was supposed to defend Camelot and act knightly and brave in battle; not tend to weeping women. Not that he saw this as an issue, as he was good friends with Brynn, and he would therefore do anything in his power to bring her some sort of comfort.

He lowered himself to her level, not laying a hand upon her and still allowing her room for her grief. He would not ask her the source of her grief, he would just wait calmly and quietly for her to compose herself. He wasn’t being cruel in his actions, he was allowing her room to weep and to settle herself. If Brynn wanted to speak to him and tell him what was wrong then that was her choice. It probably wasn’t best to look at this matter so objectively, but at the end of the day Gwaine was a man, and he had his limitations.

When she finally spoke he was glad the field was so quiet as her voice was but a whisper. His first reaction was just shock, and then he froze. A chilling sensation washed over Gwaine as Brynn’s words fully registered with him. Alex… Jesu why him? Brynn had spoken so confidently of him, of her feelings for him, even as early as their first meeting. He had always seen her marrying him when he bothered to think of such womanly matters. The sensation that the man who had brought his friend such happiness was now just gone… well it was indescribable. He realised he was just staring, unable to speak. There had been so many who had been lost because of the attack the night before, but this was the first time a story had been put to a body in Gwaine’s experience. He wasn’t quite sure what to say, or whether he should say anything so he just remained quiet and extended his hand to cover one of Brynn’s rather slender ones. It was in no means an intimate gesture, it was one of friendship; so she knew she did not have to grieve alone.

[Brynn Reade]

It took some while for Brynn to register who was approaching her, and to even care to notice. Her mind was imprisoned in just one horrifying reality, with no other thought able to occupy her brain for long. Alex… She had always needed time on her own, had never been such a people person as him, but now, right when she had lost him, she realized how much she had relied on him. Over the years his life and hers had become intertwined to such an extent that you never really could tell what was his and her life alone. Like two trees that had grown around each other, Brynn and Alex had been a beautiful entity, and now he had been cut off. And it just did not make any sense. Why him? Why now? Her mind refused to make sense of any of this, and so she could only helplessly repeat in her mind what she already knew. He was not there anymore. He would never be there again. Right when she needed him.

But another part of her mnd could also not refuse to acknowledge the person next to her any longer, even though she would have liked to. Her eyes almost blindly focused on him, seeing him without really seeing him at all. Gwaine. Yes it was Gwaine.
It maybe should have interested her why he was here and why now, as it did not make any sense. But that was nothing new. To Brynn nothing made sense anymore. And yet he was there. She would have to deal with him somehow, although she had no idea what to do. Could she trust her voice to speak? But what should she say? There was nothing more to say, was there? For now, Brynn’s world had stopped turning. And she didn’t even mind. If it was only for her, she could stay here for all time to come.

She hardly felt the touch of his hand, but it was as real as the grass was under her fingers. Gwaine was there. The world kept turning. Seconds trickled by. They would form into minutes, and minutes would form into hours. The sun would set, and it would rise again. But without Alex.
Brynn didn’t remove her hand from under his, she didn’t mind the touch, but it also did not have the effect Gwaine probably desired. It did not make her feel less alone, simply because she couldn’t feel anything at all for the moment. Maybe that would come later, maybe it won’t. She did not care. Unwillingly, pictures rose from the depth of her memory up to the forefront of her mind, and she did not have to strength to fight them back. The night they had first met… Defeating the grapes of the world… the next evening… dancing, a mass of flying colors, Alex gleaming face… who would light up her world now?

“He can’t be gone…” it was almost a stubborn denial. They’ve had so many plans. King of the Kitchens and Queen of the Geese… so many plans…
“Why him…?” she whispered, but with the next words her voice turned into a desperate howl. “WHY HIM?!”

[thegwaine]

Gwaine felt awkward just sat there, watching on as Brynn sobbed. He couldn't even move to comfort her as she really didn't know how to. He didn't want to say the wrong thing or make this any harder for this than it already was. Then again, how was that possible? He knew how close Brynn had been to Alex, he had seen the twinkle in her eyes when she had spoken of him. Now that twinkle was as lifeless as the man himself. Something shifted uncomfortably in Gwaine's stomach and he ran a hand over his face. Jesu he was no good at this. He'd never had to comfort a woman before. The last time he could remember having to comfort anyone had been his own mother after his after his own father's death. He felt just as awkward as he had then. He was a grown man now, surly he should be able to handle this better than he was?!

As she spoke, he didn't move to do any more than the small gesture that he had already performed. He didn't know what to do. Did she want him to do anymore? Gwaine honestly had no idea so he just didn't do anything. He just remained quiet and let her continue to weep. In a way he was glad that he had been the one to find her. Perhaps others would not have understood, or worse, perhaps she would have ended up sitting here for the rest of the day crying by herself. It did no good to grieve alone, and it didn't solve anything in Gwaine's experience.

"I'm so sorry." He finally spoke, and he tried to catch her eye line, though she was not yet looking at him. He couldn't blame her, but he did shift himself now, just slightly closer to her. Her last outcry had been quite out of character to her, and had smacks of desperation within them. He was now close enough to stop her doing herself any harm if it came to that. After all Gwaine was a fickle thing; he had no idea how this would affect Brynn, but he was prepared for anything.

[Brynn Reade]

So sorry… oh yes, he was sorry. Of course he would be. Brynn was sorry as well. Just that that did not help her in the slightest. He meant well of course, and that was probably such a difficult situation for him. Brynn had never had to comfort someone in grief, until now she had never known anyone really losing someone. How lucky she had been! This made this first blow all the harder. Her first experience with death had to be right aimed at her very core. Fear of death she had experienced enough, always fearing for her father if he would come home after a skirmish or an attack on Camelot itself, but until now everything had worked out for Brynn. These days were over. And the blow had been so sudden she still had not had time to realize it.

Not knowing what to do, Brynn just buried her head in her hands again, rocking back and forth. Another person might have sought solace in the arms of a friend, but Brynn had not reached this stage yet, and she didn’t know if she ever would. She was too used to deal with things on her own, and even though she had never dealt with such a life shifting event before, she could not find a way out of her usual isolation. Burying it all inside had not worked, and so her desperate cry and been like an indistinctive cry of help without her even realizing it. But who could even begin to help her? Nothing could give her solace now except a living and laughing Alex at her side. But even if magic was allowed there was no such thing than bringing back the dead… at least not without serious repercussions.

But once again, another nagging feeling tried to pull her out of her grieving isolation. She could not just ignore Gwaine, yes? He tried his best to help and it was not his fault it was not working. No one else but the Dorocca were at fault and not even them… just the one that had allowed them to roam free. It may be the first time in her entire life Brynn felt something similar to pure hatred towards magic, even though she knew it was wrong. It was not magic in whole that was to blame here, for that she knew the kind side of its force too well. It was the people misusing it that were responsible. Already the name of Morgana was rumored amongst the people. It made another sting course through Brynn’s whole body. Once before Morgana had tried to separate her from Alex, however unknowingly. Her first attack Brynn had survived, because of Alex swift reaction. Why had Brynn not been there to protect him this time?!“It’s my fault…” she whispered hoarsely, her bloodshot eyes focusing on Gwaine. “If he had stayed the night… he would have been safe.” It was a ridiculous self-accusation of course, but for Brynn it was true.

[thegwaine]

This was quite hard for Gwaine in a way. He’d flirted with Brynn before, made her laugh and just spoken in a quite natural way with her. This felt completely out of context. This was something completely new, and Gwaine didn’t like it one bit. Brynn was a dear friend to him, but he didn’t feel like he was the right one to be comforting her in this situation. Should he take her back to her family and let them share in her grief? Her family must have known about her and Alex; it was no secret after all. He just looked to the ground for a few moments, perhaps he should just leave. Brynn had obviously just come here to grieve by herself. However, didn’t it always help to have a friendly face to just have there? At least if he just sat here with her she would know that she wasn’t alone, and that he would be here for her. Gwaine knew that grieving alone wasn’t ideal, it just made things worse if anything.

Brynn was still crying, not that he expected her to stop anytime in the future but still. He bit his lip, and pressed them together softly and silently. As she began to rock backwards and forwards Gwaine felt his concern for her increase ten-fold. He shuffled closer towards her and laid a hand on her shoulder, proceeding to squeeze the soft flesh gently. However much this hurt, and however much she had to grieve she had to come back to reality. Alex wouldn’t want to see her like this, Gwaine knew he wouldn’t. Perhaps it was the shock causing this reaction, to those who were unused to death found it harder to cope with. Then again those who were used to death found it hard to cope with from time to time.

Her next words greatly annoyed him on one level. The hand that was on her shoulder squeezed the flesh with more urgency, as he sought to lock his eyes with hers, “Nothing is your fault. Do you understand me Brynn? Nothing.” Jesu, how had one night caused so much grief to so many? It wasn’t just Brynn, many homes in Camelot had lost family members because of these ghost things. As a Knight he was bound to protect the citizens of Camelot, and right now he felt like he had failed. They hadn’t protected the city, and consequently good, innocent men like Alex now lay in an early grave. He ran a hand through his hair; he wasn’t self pitying, but he just felt completely useless. Gwaine ran a hand down Brynns arm, almost to sooth her. She needed to calm herself down. The threshold of grief had truly descended on her, but she had to calm down; after all, grief could be a dangerous emotion.

[Brynn Reade]

Slowly the numbness died down, but that didn’t work so miuch for Brynn’s benefit. It only made the blades of pain sharper that seemed to pierce into every parts of her body, but most notably, her heart. There was no bleeding to show the pain, but that didn’t make in any less real. Every time she took a shaking breath, Brynn all but winced, as every intake of breath brought the realization anew. Alex is no more. Alex is dead. You have to live on without him.
Live on? How?! How could she possibly learn to live on? So many people had to do it all the time, so many lived were taken every day, but never in her wildest dreams, Brynn would have imagined it to be so hard. Did everyone feel like that over the loss of a loved one? Could it be possible for anyone else to feel so much pain? Of course, if she had been able to think rational at this time, Brynn would have told herself that she could not be the only one. But it felt that way, and at the moment feeling was everything Brynn stil felt capable of.

Brynn almost winced as she felt his arm tightening around her shoulder. Had she been in any other state of mind, she might have pushed his arm away, not forcefully, but distinctively. Now she didn’t have the strength to, even though it didn’t feel right. Not his arm should be hugging her, not anyone else’s but Akex’. But Alex was the reason she was crying over and he would never hug her again. It was so wrong. It was all so terribly wrong.
And why couldn’t she take the blame for it? It was true after all, was it not? Alex had sometimes stayed the night, rarely, because Brynn knew it wasn’t befitting before they were married. There was a common consent about these moral rules, and Alex belonged with his family in the lower town. Not in the keep. So she had bid him good night, never dreaming it would be the last time she saw him. Had he even known how much she loved him? Had this last kiss they had shared really been enough to make him sure she was his for all time?

”It IS my fault”, she insisted with a shaking voice. “And I can never make it up again. Why couldn’t I forego common consents just for once?! Others do it all the time!”
And then she could not hold it back any longer. She just needed something to lean on as a new wave of pain seemed to drown her whole body and mind. Slowly her head tilted sidewards and came to rest on Gwaine’s shoulder, while she was being shaken by sobs.
”I… I just don’t know what to do, Gwaine…” she whispered. “Without him… and in general…. I just don’t know… Why him? Why not me…?”

[thegwaine]

Gwaine knew how to handle a sword, he could talk himself out of most situations, but one thing he was terrible at was consoling others. Especially women. He'd never had to, so he was rather out of practice. He was constantly worried about making whatever Brynn was putting herself through worse. It was quite unusual for him to be so quiet for so long, but chattering away aimlessly, as he usually did, wouldn't make anything better really would it?

He just kept his arm around her, Jesu even that felt awkward. Of course there was nothing in the gesture. It was to let her know that he was there and nothing more. He couldn't imagine what was going through her head, and yet at the same time he could. Gwaine took grief in a different way. After the death of his father he had just been angry, he'd run through every scenario he could to try and justify why he had died, and the rest of the men around him had lived on. Grief was a fickle thing, it could change your very being, and it had certainly changed Gwaine. He had left home and had embarked on the life of a nomad. In retrospect, it had made him the person he was today, and he wouldn't have had it any other way. He suspected that this wasn't the same for Brynn though, he couldn't imagine how this would ever be alright for her. However, he would at least try to help her while she grieved.

Brynn's words made him wince and he wasn't sure if he should answer her or not. Brynn was still upset, she was bound to say things that she would regret eventually but he shrugged. "You can only do whatever you feel comfortable with Brynn; you were only doing what you thought was right." Now he would start trying to reason with her, because he honestly hated seeing her like this. It wasn't her at all, and he doubted that she liked it either.

To be honest, Gwaine didn't know how to answer her. Everyone dealt with grief differently, and how he dealt with it would definately be different to the way Brynn would deal with it. "You need to be strong Brynn, Alex wouldn't want to see you like this." Perhaps that would make her see sense, or at least get her to calm down.

[Brynn Reade]

When it came to consolation, Gwaine most likely would not be the best choice to turn to, as he seemed thoroughly helpless. But Brynn was more than fine with that, as she was helpless too. She didn’t want people to fuss over her, telling her what she should do and how she should grief, she wanted to be left alone and at the same time not. And that was just what Gwaine was giving her. He was there, but his insecurity kept him from saying too much or the wrong things. He held her close which gave her something to lean on, but – as she guiltily thought: unlike himself – he did not make any move to exploit the situation. He was simply Gwaine, a friend in need. And like the old saying put it, therefore a friend indeed.

It didn’t take away the pain of course, and the prime part of her brain still tried to process the fact that Alex was no more. That would need time, she knew that. She might be devastated now, but the real grieving would come later, when she could fully comprehend what it meant to be alone, after such a long time of just self-evidently being together. Their families had talked about marriage, and why shouldn’t they? It had been all so crystal clear, a match made in heaven. They both had known there would never be anyone else. And now she most likely would end her life as a spinster. The goosemaiden turning into the goose hag eventually. But did it really matter? Brynn did not find it in herself to bother. The future would come or it would not, it was of no consequences now.

"You can only do whatever you feel comfortable with Brynn; you were only doing what you thought was right."
She gave a little, pained snort and shook her head sadly, her messed up braid brushing over her back and his as well, as they were sitting so close.
”Well, I think that was a brutal lesson of: when we THINK something is right it doesn’t mean it IS right… thank you life, I could have done with a little less finality.” She was getting angry now, voicing ridiculous blames and not even so much listening to what she said. Maybe in the next few days she would not even remember what had left her mouth and she would feel sorry for much of it. There was still an air of shock over this whole situation. It all felt so unreal. Only the missing geese told her that this was no day like any other. And the neverending pain inside her of course, where a huge part of herself had been torn out.

And now he DID start on the obvious things to say, and it made Brynn’s tears flow even harder. It certainly did not make her calm down, if that was what he had aimed for.
”He surely would not want to be dead either!” she retorted, heaving a sob. “He was as full of life as you could ever find one, you included!” She had loved that in him above everything else. Brynn often enough was a worrier and too shy and introverted to really enjoy life to its fullest. Alex had given her the security she needed but at the same time had lifted her to the skies and above. Freedom in security… and now she was in free fall.

[thegwaine]

It really should be someone else doing this. Surely Brynn's family would be better suited to this kind of thing than he ever would be? It wasn't really Gwaine's thing to be caring and sentimental. They weren't really traits that he held in much regard; he had never had to. However, as he was a knight, he had to learn to embrace these qualities he supposed. They were there to help the people, whatever matter might be ailing them. Therefore Gwaine had a duty as a Knight, and as Brynn's friend, to aid her in her hour of need. It was annoying logic when he thought about it.

Gwaine knew that he would be able to make this better, no one but Brynn could ever make this anywhere near bearable. She would have to give herself time to heal, and not force herself into situations she felt uncomfortable with. Of course after this incident she would continue to grieve, but Gwaine was sure that she would pull through this. The Brynn he knew was strong, and she would come back from this. It might take her a while, there was no telling with grief like this, but she would get there eventually. Gwaine was sure of it.

He could hear the acute anger in her words, and he could see the hate and grief in her eyes as she turned to him. He pressed his lips together but couldn't think of what to say. There was no point in arguing with her while she was in this state. It would just make things worse, and then what would that achieve? Instead he just considered her, and brushed some of her hair back off her face. It didn't make it look any less messy, but it bridged that silent gap.

Although she did have a point, as Gwaine couldn't imagine Alex wanting to be dead, he was slightly annoyed as she hadn't grasped his point. "Do you think he would want to see you like this?" He slightly snapped, he knew she was grieving, but he couldn't stand her blaming herself like this. It was ridiculous. "He will always be watching over you Brynn; I am sure of that." Gwaine was a strong believer in the after life. Those who had passed watched the paths of those who still walked the earth and helped to guard their paths. Maybe that was wishful thinking on Gwaine's part, but it was his own belief and he was going to cling to that.

[Brynn Reade]

Brynn could feel Gwaine’s reluctance and slowly it made her feel worse instead of better. She had never been comfortable with exploiting others and had been rather too hesitant to ask for help than seeking it. But he had found her and he was willing to comfort her, and shouldn’t she be simply glad for that? Slowly she found she could not only be glad and think about herself, she had to think of him as well. It was incredibly hard to think about anything but Alex at the moment, but as Brynn had always been more a thinker than a doer, thinking a few things at the same time and worrying about them came almost natural to her. Much of what she thought never reached the surface of action.
So what could she do? She knew she HAD to something eventually, she couldn’t stay on this meadow for all time to come, especially not with Gwaine. He had other things to do. He was a knight of Camelot.

The moment these angered words had left her mouth, she knew they had been wrong. But they had been born out the the deepest parts of her soul, and in that certain moment she had meant them, had truly believed to be right. But hearing them being said, she knew also that was just an easy way out. She was not ready yet to let shock be followed by anger. The shock still dominated, and the unbearable pain made her lash out without feeling pure anger yet. Maybe later, her anger would turn solid, would make her lash out at a certain person, would make her want to see the one responsible pay, but not yet.
Her own feelings didn’t make any sense to her even, and that scared her most. She had been ripped apart and now dealt with a horrifying cluster of feelings that wanted to surface at the same time. Brynn, the rational thinker felt like drowning in a maelstrom, and yet there was no one that could help her out of it.

Not even Gwaine, though he surely tried. His comforting touch was something she could hold on to, to not being pulled under.
His fierce words almost managed to make her feel ashamed. But then, what did Gwaine know about Alex? Brynn knew that Alex could never stand her to be in any discomfort, he had shown that on innumerous occasions, but now he was gone. And as for Brynn, her own image of the afterlife had been thoroughly shaken by the appearance of the Dorocca. Weren’t they said to be spirits of the departed? At least that was the prominent rumors all around the city. So if these horrifying things that killed people were what became of those who died, how could Gwaine say he was watching over her now?
“I know he wouldn’t if he was still alive”, she said therefore. “But I can’t help it, Gwaine… I just can’t! I have to do something, yes?”