Where Our Loyalties Lie (Morgana)

[Deleted]

Say one thing about Camelot, say it’s never boring to watch. Nimueh, the High Priestess of the Old Religion had a few favourite pastimes, and apart from plotting Uther’s downfall, there was something she liked very much as well: Watching what was happening in Camelot through her scrying font. Like this, she could fathom people’s weaknesses, get to know their secrets and through that being able to either bring them down or get them to work for her first. Many of her great schemes had begun with an intent look into her scrying font, watching those close to Uther.
Ever since a very interesting thing had happened in Camelot, where a little druid boy had been rescued by none other than Merlin and the Lady Morgana, Uther’s ward, Nimueh had found another favourite subject of observation: Morgana herself.

Nimueh had known before that Morgana was more than she let on. As she had watched her once getting a sleeping draught from Gaius, it had aroused her suspicion and curiosity. Nightmares? Couldn’t there be more to it? And surely, there was more to it. Morgana might not know it yet, but she had magic. Rare magic, original magic. She was a seer. What she saw in her horrific visions were things that might be yet to come. It was simply too good to be true: Uther’s ward, possessing magic right under his nose, that was exploitable if nothing else. Nimueh knew that if Morgana was ever found it, it would be her undoing. Uther’s hatred for magic was too profound, even if it pained him, he could not make exceptions with his loved ones. And thus, Nimueh could use it for her own gain.

Then Mordred had come along, a touchingly helpless child. It might have triggered Morgana’s mother instincts, or something similar. Whatever it was, it had made her hide the druid boy, and his wellbeing would always stay the young lady’s weakness. How exciting, indeed! It was long since Nimueh had last cared for someone in that matter, but she still found it intriguing to watch. People who would put their own life in danger to safe others. Risking to be found out a collaborator… it was all so touching – and so pathetic! Still, as long as it helped Nimueh, she would not complain!
Also, the incident had brought an interesting change in Morgana’s attitude towards Uther. It was nothing but a seed laid into cold soil yet, but it could grow. For the first time, Morgana had defied her guardian. Nimueh found that thoroughly worthy of expandation.

So now, she had once again entered the lion’s den, or, like she rather would put it, the chicken’s coop. Because even though she might be hunted down if ever found here alive, Nimueh rather felt like the fox in the henhouse, not like the rabbit before a snake. SHE was the one in control, ready to tend to the seed that had been laid. She would test Morgana’s loyalties – all in disguise of course.
Knowing that Morgana sometimes liked to visit the fairs that were held in Camelot regularly, Nimueh had mingled with the crowd, waiting for her target to pass her by. Altering her appearance so that she now looked like a plain, elderly peasant woman, she waited in the shadow of a booth, until the Lady Morgana passed her by.

Swift like a snake, she let her arm dart out to grab hold of Morgana’s own, hissing lowly: “Mylady!”

Tag: Morgana
Timeline: Season 1, after ep 8
Time of Day: Midday
Notes: Hope this okay

[ladymorgana]

Morgana stepped outside the Castle of Camelot, and inhaled the sweet, free air deeply. Basking in the light of a new morning, in the open air, she could fully cast off the residue of the terrors that stalked her sleeping, fevered, mind. Maybe it was her imagination, but Morgana could swear that her nightmares were getting worse. And getting worse at a much more alarming rate since the Druid boy, Mordred, had entered her life. But, she no longer trusted her own judgement, and cast those thoughts aside. He was but a child. And she, a neurotic woman. While she was out here, immersed in every day life, Morgana could pretend to be normal, once more; and that was what she intended to do today. So, she wrapped her cloak a little more tightly around her shoulders, and with one final look back at the grand entrance of the Castle, set off towards the markets where the fairs were held.

Gwen was absent today, and her place at Morgana's side had been taken by another maid. She would use the opportunity to purchase a gift for Gwen, a 'thank you' for all her hard work. She may even pick something up for Arthur, and the much put-upon Merlin. That reminded her. She must get a little something for Gaius. He'd listened to her darkest fears, nodded sympathetically, and offered sage words of wisdom, after she'd opened her soul and spilled her most feared thoughts and feelings.

The noise of the markets soon reached her ears, and the crisp, clean air was soon filled by the rich aromas of herbs and spices that were imported from far off lands. They made Morgana's imagination run wild as she tried to picture the distant shores they came from. Before long, Morgana was pausing at stalls, and running a delicate index finger down lengths of wools, and silks, also imported from far off lands. She felt the weave, and the weight. Taking in the riot of colour, and sights; but seemingly unable to settle on anything suitable.

After what seemed an age of browsing through the many and varied wares of the traders, Morgana turned to her maid and excused herself to visit the pie vendor so she could buy a treat for them both. She had not walked ten paces from the maid, however, when the claw of a passer by reached out and clamped itself painfully over her lower arm. She suppressed a gasp of pain, mingled with shock, and snapped around. Morgana found herself face to face with a peasant woman. Her anger and shock dissipated at once. This poor soul was obviously seeking alms.

"Good Lady, is there something that ails you?" Morgana asked, her expression softened immeasurably. "Do you need food and water for yourself and family?"

If the lady was in need, it was the duty of the nobility to show compassion. Most of the nobility, however, often forgot this.

[Deleted]

Nimueh had to admit, she was quite impressed at Morgana’s quick reflexes. Then again, she had been training swordfight since being all but a girl, hadn’t she? That ought to give you some fast reactions! Nimueh herself had never found swordfight very appealing for herself. She found it fascinating to watch, but why bother when you had magic on your side, powerful magic at that, and were one for subtler means anyway? She had her own set of weapons and she had fared well with them until now – minor setbacks aside.
But each to his own, she guessed. If Morgana felt better with a sword in her hand, than who was she to deny the girl the fun? This newfound ideas that girls should do nothing more than sit at home with needlework had never been to Nimueh’s liking as well. The Old Religion knew no such nonsense. And maybe Morgana felt that too, because she, with her unique talent, was a creature of the Old Religion as well?

Returning her focus to Morgana, Nimueh looked at the young woman with what she hoped was a perfect expression of slight devotion and secrecy at the same time. Like she had been sent to see this person and had been told many wonderful things about her, but could not really believe she was standing in front of her now. Oh yes, Nimueh could act inferior if she wanted to. Inferior people were so often underestimated. They were never seen as a threat, and that did give you the perfect opportunity to weave your web for them to get entangled in. Make them think they have a good heart for giving you their valued attention, that will make them feel good, and comfortable people are not as watchful… Not that she was planning an attack of any sorts, on the contrary! She would just like to test the waters with this young lady first, before she involved her in any greater scheme. If Morgana was still too loyal to Uther, Nimueh should not bother coming up with one of her brilliant plans.

”It’s not food or water I need, Mylady”, she answered with slightly quivering voice, her eyes still gleaming in fake awe. “In fact, it is not I who needs anything at all, I have come to seek you out. I bear a message…”
She let it trail off there, no need to cast the whole bait at once. It was not only a common knowledge amonst hunters that victims liked to be lured in bit by bit. Human beings like animals were creatures of curiosity. They loved riddles, they wanted to find it out for themselves. So she would let the hook dangle in front of Morgana, seeing if she could get her interested enough. And then, when she bit… there would follow stage two of the plan.

[ladymorgana]

The way the old woman looked up at Morgana, the way her bony old claw still dug into the tender flesh of her arm, made Morgana want to recoil. Her compassion quickly morphed into a deep suspicion. This is not right, she told herself. The alarm bells in her mind tolled dolefully through her mind, but at the same time, the old woman held her fast, rooted to the spot. She could not run, even if she had the strength for it, just now. Morgana's mouth ran dry as she swiftly tried to take stock of the situation. Her reaction was horribly human. When presented with something suspicious, she had wanted to run away like a child. She is an elderly Lady, Morgana firmly told herself. What harm can she possibly do?

After she gave herself a mental shake down, Morgana arranged her features into an expression of mild compassion. She raised something like a smile, small and weak. So, the lady has a message. This whole situation was going from suspicious to alarming, in the blink of eye. Still, Morgana suppressed her gut reactions, suspended her final judgement, and drew on her deep reserves of sympathy and patience; and pressed the issue a little further.

"A message?" Morgana repeated the words kindly. The last thing she wanted was to cause offense by sounding as though she was accusing the lady of lying. "For who do you carry the message? What is it? Don't be afraid."

In truth, the woman looked anything but afraid. That was just some sweet, coaxing nonsense that Morgana was too used to saying to those she first encountered. But, it was the woman's expression that had the deepest impact on her. She found that she could not articulate it, even to herself, in the privacy of her own mind. She felt, however, like she was being mentally dissected by the peasant woman. She worked her arm free, and unconsciously rubbed at the spot where the woman's nails had dug into the flesh.

"What is this all about?"

[Deleted]

Was she acting too fierce? In the blink of an eye Nimueh regretted her decision to stay clung to Morgana just for a moment too long. That was not the action of a peaceful old lady wishing to catch a noblewoman’s attention, it was the action of a beast of prey taking claim on its victim! And that subconscious reaction of her true feelings had triggered the ancient victim’s instinct in Morgana. A part of her was suspicious, even though the flicker of it had shown only briefly in the young woman’s eyes. But it was there, and it would make approaching her now more difficult. Cursing her mistake inwardly, Nimueh retreated her arm and cast her eyes down, intent on laying back. Had she been out of practice for allowing such a slip to happen, or was Morgana simply too smart for her own good?

Well, hopefully what she had to say would cloud the woman’s judgement long enough to lay out the bait once again. Mordred should be her weak spot… but then you could never rely on that alone. Relying on one plan without backup had been her undoing before, and Nimueh was not someone to make a mistake twice. She knew very well that she could not hope to sway Morgana away from Uther in just one conversation, but she would kindle the flame that was undoubtedly already there. It HAD to be there, if only born out of fear for herself. Morgana might not realize her potential yet, but she would be stupid not to see that her nightmares were something out of the ordinary, and with realizing that, she would also know that Uther would hunt down this abnormality. She was a smart girl… one day it would simply make ‘click’ in her brain and she would see Uther for what he really was. And if Nimueh had helped just a little on that path it would be her dearest pleasure!

Inwardly, Nimueh had to supress a chuckle at Morgana’s kind words.Afraid? Oh how sweet indeed. The situation and the person that would truly make Nimueh be afraid probably had yet to be born… although Uther came dangerously near to that category, even if she would never admit that to herself.
”The message is for you, Mylady”, she replied, still having her eye cast down, but when she spoke next, she lowered her voice and took a careful look around as if to check no one was overhearing them. “From someone who is deeply indebted to you, as you saved his young, innocent life.” She waited a few moments to let the words sink in, then added: “Mordred is his name.”

[ladymorgana]

"Mordred!"

Morgana breathed his name in a rush of hope. All other feelings, suspicions, vanished in a puff as the boy was alluded to. Who else could she possibly be referring to, but the Druid child that she had helped to rescue? Her vision blurred as his face rose to the forefront of her mind again. His frail body. His wide, fearful eyes. It all came back in a rush. She could not say how, but she felt a connection to him. Something that ran deep. Something could not be broken. It made as much sense to her as did the movements of the stars, and the twistings of fate. But, it was undeniably there. There were a hundred questions that Morgana should have been asking of this strange crone. Who are you? What do you want? How do you know about me? Were all chief among them. But all she could think of was the child.

"Is it Mordred?" Morgana asked in a low voice. She leaned in closer to the lady so she could still be heard over the din of the markets. "How is he? Is he safe? Does he need my help? He could be in danger.."

The questions tumbled from her like a river bursting it's dam. She could feel her emotions getting the better of her. Her iron grip on her self-control was loosening, again. The dreams, the druid boy, and all her tumultuous thoughts were colluding together to push her over the edge. Now, she stood with a stranger in the markets, pleading for information on another complete stranger. Before she could overwhelm the woman, Morgana held her tongue, to give the woman time to try and answer her questions.

"If you have a message, speak it," She stated, feebly.

[Deleted]

Only with the greatest of willpower Nimueh could keep a cry of triumph inside. She was taking the bait, and with what a readiness indeed! Allowing herself a moment of self-praise, Nimueh congratulated herself on her good choices, before she returned her focus on the task. Don’t rejoice too soon! She might have guessed Morgana’s weak spot right, but that didn’t mean this whole affair still couldn’t go wrong! Very wrong indeed, as she put herself on the spot with telling her she knew Mordred. Knowing a druid was equal to collaborate with them… not that she would have anything to fear, she had her means of quick escape, but it would be very inconvenient!

A slight smile spread over her lips at Morgana’s outburst, but it held no hint of malice or sneering, it was the mild smile of someone who appreciates the concern of another being, but finds it unnecessary, because of possessing more knowledge than the other person. It was a definite bonus that Morgana seemed to care so much for the druid boy, and her flood of question confirmed it was no fleeting interest but a matter of the heart. If she played her cards right, this could be easier than she had first thought! But caution and intuition were still needed in this matter. Morgana was an incredibly sharp young woman, the tiniest slip could be Nimueh’s undoing as she had already seen.

”Yes it is indeed the same Mordred”, she replied with the soft, matronly tone that would be expected from the woman of the age she was posing at. A woman that had been through some things already and had seen so many things in her life she was not easily surprised. “And I am glad to tell you that he is not in any danger – for now.” She heaved a long sigh. “This courageous soul found his way to us, and we welcomed him again with open arms.” With this she implied openly that she was with the druids, and she knew it was a critical moment. Then again, she thought she could trust Morgana’s kind heart.

”The message he wanted me to tell you, so badly that I could not resist his plea, is just the same: That he is well, and that he thanks you again. He says he does not blame you or..." she stopped as if she had to recall the name, "...Merlin for whatever happened, and that he will repay you one day.”
Smiling softly, she added: “The poor child. He may not show it, but what happened disturbed him dearly. These inner wounds will take some while to heal – if he is granted that time.” Those last words had been sounded rather bitterly, a first thrust into the right direction, testing Morgana’s reaction.

[ladymorgana]

Morgana hung on every word the woman spoke, and found her emotions swaying like the storm tossed seas. One minute relieved; the boy was not in any danger. But then alarm would sweep through her, again; the boy was not in any danger.... yet.

"What do you mean by that?" Morgana asked in a low voice as she steered the lady behind the market stall, to somewhere quieter, and out of the way of the bustling crowds. It was approaching high noon, and soon the market would be at it's busiest. "Could it be that Mordred is in imminent danger, soon?"

Morgana thought that she could see something like triumph flicker in the other woman's aged eyes. But, she disregarded it as a trick of the light, a figment of her fraught imagination. Morgana firmly told herself that this was just a kindly, concerned lady, who cared about Mordred as much as she, herself, did.

"Merlin and I, we did the best we could for him," Morgana explained hurriedly. "You have to understand, Uther wanted him dead. He would have no scruples about taking the life of an innocent child. He would even have taken our lives if he knew that we were sheltering him."

Despite the fact that Mordred had conveyed a message that he did not blame either she, or Merlin, she found herself desperate to explain the circumstances all the same. The justification simply tumbled from her lips, and she was powerless to stop it. But nothing would assuage the guilt she felt at not being able to do more to help the Druid boy, or his people.

"You have to understand, my lady," Morgana continued. "Not everyone in Camelot is like Uther. And none can be more opposed to his policies than me. Please, speak freely to me, and be assured that it will go no further. What do you mean when you say he may not be granted the time?"

The fear swelled, and formed a rock-like weight in the pit of her stomach. "Does he need me?" Morgana asked. "Can you take me to him?"

She would need to return, briefly, to the Castle and ask leave. But it would be granted, if she came up with a likely excuse. It had never been a problem in the past.

[Deleted]

They were truly getting somewhere now, Nimueh could feel that. Concern had taken over Morgana’s mind and she was more than ready to believe every word she said – as long as she did make no mistakes of course. Nimueh might not like to admit it, but she knew she had already slipped once and it could happen again. Morgana was a true challenge, she was not as easily fooled as some other people she already dealed with.
”Who knows”, she replied with a little shrug. “Camps like ours could be found daily by a patrol or anything else Uther sends after us. We can only hope and pray for each new day.” She sounded that in an almost resigned tone, as if after such a long time, she had but gotten used to that daily danger. And well she might have, she appeared a woman of twice the years since Arthur’s birth.

Forcing her face into a concerned and commiserate look, she listened to Morgana’s pitiful attempt of an explanation. The woman she was posing as might be moved, but Nimueh wasn’t. So they had risked their lives while saving Mordred? They surely were not the only one, and at least Morgana did not have to hide out in the forest. She might but have a glimpse of real danger and suffering.
”I and Mordred know both that you acted bravely and did more than could have ever been asked of you, Mylady!” she confirmed and inclined her head. “Like I said, he did not wish to blame. You can’t choose whom you are born to as little as what you are born WITH. In fact, your deed will be remembered by the druids, Lady Morgana. Should you ever need our help, you can be sure to receive it.”

It might be bold to speak for the druids even though she was not even one of them in the strict sense, but that did faze Nimueh little. As High Priestess, she saw herself as the spiritual leader of every magical being, and the druids belonged to that category. If Morgana really should seek help with them, Nimueh simply would make them help her. And who knew, maybe the druids even DID think that way? They were do gooders like that after all…

And none can be more opposed to his policies than me… now wasn’t that music to Nimueh’s ears. Exactly what she would have liked to here. It was more than a start, Morgana did not even try to justify Uther’s actions while speaking to a total stranger. This could only lead to victory! It seemed the incident with Mordred had shaken her sense of loyalty quite a bit indeed!
”It is as I said before”, she tried to explain. “We are constantly on the run, changing the location of our camp whenever a patrol comes too close. Twenty years and still we’re being chased like animals… in time Uther will achieve what he aims for: while fighting to survive we cannot teach the few younger ones what we know, and each time someone is caught, his or her invaluable knowledge dies with them.”

Now Nimueh did not have to resume to lies. What she said was her own experience, only from a druid’s point of view. They were far too peaceful in her eyes, rabbits that were content with running while they should be wildcats fighting for what they believed. One grand sorceror or two could bring Uther down if they tried… but it could not be, subtler means had to be at work.
”As for now, Mordred is safe and well with us”, she quickly contradicted Morgana’s evident fear. “Don’t be afraid, Mylady, you’ve done enough.”
Now, knowing Morgana, she probably would not take this statement as a given and rest on her laurels. With the right moulding, Nimueh strongly believed, Morgana could be shaped into a powerful weapon against Uther.

[ladymorgana]

Now that Morgana was having this conversation, it had occurred to her just how much she yearned to see Mordred again. She did not realise it until now. Now that the Lady had dashed her hopes of seeing the boy again, as she was just too much of a risk in the Druid's camp; she realised how badly she had wanted it. However, she dissembled her dissapointment into a veneer of understanding. She nodded, and raised a wan smile. "Of course, I try to understand a little of the dangers that the Druids face on a daily basis," She replied, trying not to sound patronising, or condescending in any way. She was as good as a Princess, how could she possibly know how it truly felt to live in fear of your life? But, she was grasping at an understanding, and that was a start. "I know that I will never know how dangerous their lives are..."

Morgana's words trailed off. The dreams came flooding back. The visions. They were more than nightmares. Her connection to the Druid boy. No. She stated the word firmly in her mind, and pushed those thoughts down, down into the depths of her mind. But, she had the over-whelming urge to spill all of this to the old woman. She almost bit into her tongue to prevent herself from doing just that. Instead, the only words that passed her lips were words of thanks for their offer of help. "It means a lot to me," She said. "To know that someone is on my side." That wan smile found it's way back onto her face.

"This message you bring to me," She found herself saying, quite out of the blue. "It is real, isn't it?" But, how else could she have known about Mordred? Of course it was real, Morgana just needed to hear her say it. She wanted reassurance.

[Deleted]

It was well nigh impossible that Morgana should have lived such a long time under Uther’s command or at least in his constant close proximity and still kept herself this sweet and caring attitude. One might think that growing up in this place would have hardened her heart against magic completely and that she would not care at all about the fates of others, like Uther. But Morgana was different, and maybe she didn’t even know the reason why, that was why she was so confused. Morgana was not ready yet to understand that she, too, had magic and that it was nothing to be afraid of but something to rejoice in. Morgana was a raw diamond that first needed to be polished to become the jewel she promised to be, and if Nimueh had any say in this matter, she would get that polishin soon enough.
First though she would have to be rid of the slag of lies and false loyalty, only the bright truth could do this. However, too much force could break the gem as well, so Nimueh knew she needed to be careful.

”You show much more understanding than I ever hoped for, Mylady” she assured the young woman, and even meant it – just in a different sense. “We older ones still know the time before the Great Purge and we can safely say it all hit us like a bolt from the blue.” She sighed. “So what should we tell the younger ones when they start to ask why we’re in hiding? Not much is known about King Uther’s reasons after all, only the vague idea of a threat.”
Of course Nimueh knew very well what had come to pass, Uther would call her the cause of the purge after all, evenr though she knew better. It had been Uther’s fault and his alone. But this was also a good way to test Morgana’s knowledge about this matter. “You of course are the king’s ward, I am sure you know more about these things than me, a simple druid woman.”

Someone was on HER side? Good Goddess where did that naïve girl take her ideas from? She was all alone in a dangerous place, a life threatening place even, and who knew what Uther would do should he ever find out. And no druid would lay down his life for her just yet. None of these thoughts could be voiced though. Nimueh was no fool. One step at a time…
”It is nothing compared to the feeling it gives us to know that not everyone at this court hates us”, she replied softly. “That gives us hope. Maybe one day, people will see the error of their ways, to lash out at someone for some force he possesses.”

Nimueh hadn’t expected another call of distrust now, and it startled and disturbed her. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to refrain from a quick denial,as that would come across very suspicious. She had to get her act together! And then find out what had made Morgana say this so suddenly.
”I understand your scepticism, Mylady, but I can assure you I speak in Mordred’s name.” That wasn’t even a alie. Only that the poor boy didn’t know it yet. She would have to look out for him after this… something nagged at the back of her mind… something about a prophecy she once had heard… too bad Kilgarrah, the last of the dragons and keeper of prophecies would not be very inclined to talk to her. Then again… he hated Uther and he hated Camelot… maybe she could make him talk? That would be an idea… indeed!
But then she returned her mind to matters at hand. She could not let her guard drop around Morgana! Plotting was for later times, when she was alone again.

”I had to force him to stay behind, he so wanted to see you again. You touched his heart”, she added with a smile. Maybe that would convince Morgana of her genuine intentions?