Love Remains the Same

[Frederick d'Amboise]

As she told him once more that she could no longer be in his life it ripped right through him. Freddie just wanted her to be in the same frame of mind she had been when they had been in the gardens together. Their lives then had been carefree, they had both been at ease with one another and they hadn’t cared about impressing anyone or living up to expectations. In their absence it seemed that they had both over thought the situation too much. Freddie just wanted her to understand that he still had feelings for her. There was no grey area with how he felt about Romily; he still cared for her and that was that. Nothing she could say or do would ever, ever change that fact.

“Let me show you my words are true.” He protested tenderly and stepped towards her, brushing some hair from her cheek to behind her ear. He had missed the soft sensation of her skin beneath his fingers. Jesu, every part of her just made him go weak at the knees. “I will show you I do care for you Millie, but you have to let me in.” He could not show her that she still meant something to him if she continued to hold up these defences. Freddie wanted to show Romily how much she still meant to him, and the next week would give him a way of doing that.

“You were never a disappointment.” He said forcefully and took both her hands in his, “Do you understand? Never.” He wasn’t having her say such things about herself. She had not disappointed anyone, he had nothing but admiration for her for so actively wanting to change her circumstances.

[Romily de Braose]

She wondered what on earth he was going to ‘show’ her as he stepped forward. Her eyes followed to where he brushed some hair from her face. She could feel her skin tingle slightly at the touch that now felt all the more familiar to her.
Romily knew that she had to do what he’d said. She had to let him in sometime – otherwise he would never leave her be. She cupped his hand in her own.

“If you even think, about so much as hurting me, then I swear that you will know of it Frederick - and I will make your life hell” she meant it – she could be pretty nifty with a sword when it came down to using one. Usually she’d only resolve something like this with words. But this was different. This was a man who she loved, had loved – and now wanted her back in his life.

Her gaze met the floor when he told her she had not been a disappointment. “But I was” she murmured, “to you, your father and my own…” Her mother would be turning in her grave on hearing these words, but Romily knew she had failed her as a daughter. “I made decisions long ago that I now regret – and I can’t ever take them back.” she paused.

"I have spent my whole life alone, and still even with you now here - i feel more alone than ever."

[Frederick d'Amboise]

In truth Frederick would never cause Romily any pain knowingly, he had no idea what her father had said to her following their meeting. If he had then maybe things would have been different. He would have come back, he would have contradicted him; he would have done something; anything. "I never meant to hurt you Romily, and I swear to you now that I will never cause you any pain." He meant that; truly those were his feelings on the matter. He was sick of running from his past, he wanted to be the man Romily needed now.

Frederick hated seeing her like this. How could anyone, after knowing her for even a short amount of time, think she was a disappointment. There were many words he could think to describe Romily, but disappointment was not among them. She was beautiful, headstrong, strong willed and still his Mille. Freddie raised a hand, hoping she would not bat it away and moved so he could brush a few fingers across her cheek. It was not too intrusive, and he just needed to feel her soft skin beneath his fingers. "If anyone thinks you have ever been a disappointment then they truly need their head examining." He said boldly, but he was smiling at her, showing her that truly she was no disappointment.

Her next words hurt him. He didn't want her to feel like she was on her own. Romily's words were encouraging though however. She had not spoken of another man in her life, or even the possibility of other suitors. Had there truly never been anyone after him in her life? Jesu had she waited that long for him? The hand that had been stroking her cheek moved so he was now cupping her cheek. "I will make it my mission to ensure you never feel lonely again Romily."

[Romily de Braose]

He was now cupping her cheek. Romily could feel her cheek burning under his touch. Yes, she had missed it, and now she felt that she was falling deeper than she had done before. How was it possible that one man could possibly make her feel this way? And one who had caused her so much pain.

She let out a small sigh and rested her forehead against his. She just wanted to feel like she had done before all this trouble had started, before everything had collided into little fragments. “You can’t promise that Freddie” she breathed, giving into him and his ways. “You can’t promise me something like that – just like I can’t give you my word.”

She had her eyes closed, why? She wanted just to savour this moment until they finally broke away. Why was she always so weak? Why had she suddenly crumbled to dust around him? she had been so much stronger before he’d started talking to her from behind the darn tree!

“Freddie, please” she begged, opening her eyes and meeting them with his. She stil, didn’t dare move her forehead from his, she was too scared as to what might happen next. “I can’t make you happy, I could never make you as happy as you’d like to think”.

[Frederick d'Amboise]

Romily's words were true, of course neither of them could promise little in this world. He could try though, he could promise he would always care for her because he knew that he would honour that. He still cared for her now, even though he knew she hated him, and rightly so. How could anyone not care for her? "But I can try, and I can reassure you that I will be true to my word Romily." He just wanted her to believe his words. The feeling of her forehead against his was just intoxicating, she was so close, but yet at the same time she was still so far out of his reach.

How could she ever say that? Freddie moved a hand to brush past her cheek once more and kept his forehead against hers. He didn't want to move, he'd wanted this for so long why did he want to ruin it by moving? "You could, Romily all I want is for you to be happy." Frederick just wanted Romily to be happy, in a selfish way, he wanted her to be happy with him. Although he would not force her to stay in his company. If her mind was made up then he would leave her as a formal friend and nothing more. He would respect her privacy and her decisions.

[Romily de Braose]

Why was he doing this to her? Anything he said had an instant hold over her, even just by looking at him she was drawn in. her lips were so close to his right now – so close and it was only their foreheads that were actually touching. “I can’t” she breathed and drew away from him slowly. “I’m sorry Freddie; I just…just look at me! What on earth am I doing” she quickly found her feet and backed away from him.

"You could, Romily all I want is for you to be happy."

She shook her head, “No – I can’t have you in my life Freddie – I drew a line on our ‘friendship’ long ago – I can’t just allow you to waltz back into my life and act as though everything will be ok. It won’t ever be. I’m sorry but…it just hurts too much – even now I know the truth”. She told him sadly.

“I still love you Freddie” Romily told him as she looked over her shoulder, walking away, “but I just can’t ever be around you.”

[Frederick d'Amboise]

The last thing Freddiie wanted to do is to make Romily unhappy. But in a selfish way he wanted her to be happy with him. He didn't want her to leave here today and find some other man to settle down with. She was the only woman he had ever seen himself settling down with. She was the only one who had seemed worth making the effort for. He needed to show her that she would be happy with him, but such things could not be achieved overnight. He knew she must still be conflicted about his being here, and he understood that truly. That didn't mean that he wanted it to be so.

He didn't stop her as she tried to leave. Instead he just walked after her, slowly and patiently. She needed to vent her anger at him. There was no use in bottling up her feelings, as there was no point in Freddie bottling his feelings up and pretending he didn't want to be with Romily. However, as she told him that she did still love him he almost faltered. Not because her words weren't well recieved, but because she said in the same breath that she could never be around him. "I still love you Romily. If you feel you can't stay here with me now just remember that I will always love you." He called after her, wondering if she would truly believe him.

[Romily de Braose]

Romily halted. What had he just said?! He still loved her? When had he even started??!! He was breaking her in two! Part of her wanted to just run into his arms whereas the other just wanted to be rid of him from her life.

She turned around to face him. By now he’d caught up with her. “You still love me?” she aksed in almost a whisper. There was no doubt about it – Freddie looked almost as cut up as she was at this whole scenario that was their meeting. “Please…” she begged, “don’t tease me”. She didn’t want to be mocked – she just wanted to straighten this all out. “You cannot possibly love me Frederick – not after everything that went on”. Yet somehow she was admitting to herself (and him) that she loved him?

Romily ventured cautiously towards him. “When did you first start to love me Freddie – please…I need to know…” why? Why did she need to know? Why were all these questions suddenly screaming at her?
She steaded herself against a tree trunk to prevent her from actually passing out. It was too much, it was all too much. She wanted to hear these words from him, and she wasn't going to come to a decision until she had.

Music: Blackmore’s Night – Locked Within the Crystal Ball

[Frederick d'Amboise]

As she stopped, Freddie continued to walk towards her. He didn't step too close to her, no, she might find that a bit too forwards right now. Freddie was still quite close to Romily. She was so beautiful, he honestly couldn't take his eyes off her, even for a few moments. The rest of the world's beauty seemed to pale somewhat when compared with the woman in front of him. She was the only one who inspired these sorts of thoughts within him.

"I am not teasing you." He said softly and in a reassuring way. Jesu, why would she just not believe him? He was now only just understanding how deep the scars of his departure had left within her. Guilt ripped him, God he wished he could go back to that moment again, and tell her father that he would be seeing Romily again. "I am telling the truth Romily; I love you."

Her question surprised him somewhat. In truth he never kept tabs on his feelings, and love was a rather irritating emotion to keep in check. He looked back to Romily and sighed softly, "I fell for you the moment I saw you Millie." Honestly it was hard enough for him to show his emotions without her teasing this out of him, "But the moment I realised it was love was out in the gardens."

[/blockquote]

[Romily de Braose]

"I am telling the truth Romily; I love you."

She looked away from him – her heart was now banging away at her chest. He loved her. Frederick d’Amboise loved her? Every part of her ached - tired from all the hurt that had been inflicted, not just on her but on him too. “You love me?” she said, more to herself this time than to Frederick himself.

Pushing herself off of the tree, she moved forward more – she wanted to be close to him. She wanted to feel his arm brush against her. She just wanted to feel him and everything that he was feeling too. Now here he was admitting he’d fallen for her when he’d first saw her and then realising it was indeed love on that fateful afternoon in the gardens.

Romily moved even closer to him, now looking up at him, not just with the confusion and hurt that was masking her every thought, but with some slight affection as well. Once again she was finding herself falling for him – she didn’t want to hit rock bottom again – if that was even going to happen this time, then the scars would not heal.

“And I you…” she admitted, “I love you Freddie…” she told him again. “Really – I do”. She raised herself slightly to meet his lips – the same kiss as the one she had remembered back at Wolfhall. Only now there would be no interruptions and no one to tell them how to live their lives.

Music: The Tudors OST - Quails Eggs

[Frederick d'Amboise]

He took a step closer to Romily once more as she repeated his words back to him. He could but nod, a genuine smile creeping across his face. Could he hope that she truly believed him? "I do Romily. I promise; with all my heart.

Frederick was taken aback when she kissed him. Of course he wasn't complaining, and not just on the physical level. He enjoyed it more now because he knew that this meant she believed him. It was too intimate an act for it to have been motivated if there was a single doubt in her mind that he did truly love her. It showed that she still loved him too.

He returned her embrace with a soft and tender kiss. In an instance he was transported to their first kiss back at Romily's home; all those years ago. He moved a hand and placed it around her waist, just to keep her there. He never wanted her to leave. She was still his Millie.

[Romily de Braose]

She felt his arm snake around her waist, probably so as she couldn’t get away. Not that she wanted to. She broke off, her lips nearly on his still. “You love me” she smiled as though she were having an inside joke with him.
On that note, she leant in and again and kissed him a little deeper – she had missed him, she wouldn’t deny that.

She was now remembering the afternoon in the gardens a few years ago, as they walked through trees and past the lily pond that she was fond of.

“Oh come along Frederick!” she’d called back to where he was walking a short distance behind her, “at this rate, by the time we get to the fountain it’ll be nightfall!” she’d chuckled and shot a small grin his way.
Romily walked a shorter distance along the pond, before settling herself down by the edge and running her fingers through the water. “This is my favourite place to come when I want some time to think…sad I know, but I’ll never grow bored of it, it’s just…beautiful…” she sighed and then looked up to where Frederick had now joined her. “You can sit you know…I don’t bite”.

When Romily thought back to then and compared it to now – that had all sounded so cheesy! But they were young, and they had been in love, even though the other hadn’t really known. “Do you remember that bloody lily pond?” she laughed lightly as they both broke off again, “and how I almost managed to push you in?”

[Frederick d'Amboise]

Frederick raised his spare hand to run through her fine, silk hair. Every part of her just set him alight and left him begging for more. She was just so enchanting, it seemed impossible that one woman could inspire him to be so much; just for her. He just smiled and nodded as she confirmed his words. He did love her, and he would never stop loving her, she knew that now. He had always loved her, and he always would. Nothing could ever change that.

As she broke off he tried to follow her lips but as she spoke he found quite a hearty laugh pass his lips. Ah the Lily pond, that seemed like such a long time ago, but the memory was as clear as if it had only just happened yesterday. He had been so nervous around her when they had been by the Lily pond. He had even had to be given an invitation to sit beside her, he just hadn't wanted to get anything wrong. He had been trying so hard not to look like an idiot in front of her he was sure he had managed the total opposite. "I do." He said softly before stealing another kiss from her lips. He was almost slightly cocky, but still with hints of jests in his words, "Ah, but I would not have let you push me in." He teased, "Though your efforts were admirable."

[Romily de Braose]

He kissed her again - fully well remebering the whole lily pond incident. She smiled softly. She'd give anything to have that moment back again, to go back and do things completly differently to how they were dealt with then. A small chuckle escaped her lips as he recalled how her efforts were admirable.

"I almost won" she gave him a triumphant look, "but had it not been for Bonnie looking for me then I would've done - after all I had the upper hand in that situation." she mused. Yes. Bonnie had found them and had said that her father had wanted her to see him, but Romily being Romily had told Bonnie to fib - just so she and Frederick had some time together. It had only been an hour later when her father had found the pair of them.

"Do you miss it?" she asked thoughtfully, not exactly stating what exactly it was. "Being that young and having the opportunity to do anything you wanted." well she didn't - having just been 19 when Frederick had walked into her life.