Desperate Times, Difficult Choices

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther paced around uncertainly, still hesitant about what he was about to discuss with Ygraine. Things had been still developing in a sense when they had married but Ygraine had grown to love him just as much as he'd loved her from the beginning. He felt he had almost everything he wanted, all except one, the most important thing he needed: A child. A son, preferably.

It was not just a matter of personal desire for a man in his position. Camelot needed an heir to legitimize Uther's place as king and to ensure stability for the kingdom after his death. If he died without an heir, the kingdom would be fought over and all he had worked for would be for nothing. Uther and Ygraine had certainly tried, and it was always enjoyable for Uther, naturally. But she was barren. Even remedies from Gaius and Alice had done nothing. In those days, it was typical to assume the woman was at fault, but Uther had even accepted remedies and attempted solutions for himself, just to attack the problem from both sides. All of it had been in vain.

Uther felt there was only one solution, and he had to discuss it. It pained him, because he knew of the potential consequences. To create a life, a life must be taken. That was the law of magic. Uther was willing to let it take his, if necessary. He was caught-Camelot needed a strong ruler, Ygraine needed her husband-but Uther felt an heir was needed most of all. He feared greatly for the kingdom and felt he was doing what he had to.

"I wish to consider a last resort." he said. "I believe we should consider the use of magic to help you conceive"

[Deleted]

Igraine watched as her husband paced the room from where she was reclined on his bed. Alone with him she hadn’t bothered to make sure that her sapphire colored skirt fully concealed her legs; he had seen enough of her not to be shocked by a bit of ankle. Her eyes followed his movements from where her head was propped up among the pillows. She closed them for a moment, relishing in the relaxation. Despite sleeping later than she normally would she still found herself fatigued far more than she should be. She rarely danced at court feasts anymore and found it a struggle to muster a smile when speaking with courtiers. Gaius had told her she had a sickness, but it wasn’t one that brought a fever or nausea. It was instead one of the emotions.

She had still not given birth to an heir for the kingdom. There had been close calls, moments where she thought she had been pregnant or actually conceived. The farthest she had ever gone had been four months. The blood that had followed….

She opened her eyes sharply, not wishing to see the red liquid staining her stockings from her memories. The queen listened as her husband spoke. Oh, how she loved him! It hadn’t been like that at first, but time had allowed her to see the man he truly was. It hurt even more that because she loved him she couldn’t give him the son he wished for. And then there were the rumors that he would put her away because of her infertility. Frankly, she wouldn’t blame him. Yet it would still hurt.

Magic?

Magic was commonplace in Camelot, yet she had never actually had any performed for her. She hesitated. “Would it be safe?” If it was, it could give them the hope they wished for. She perked up, pushing herself to sit.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther thought of the past,of the elation he and Ygraine had felt,and of the crushing sadness that had replaced it when the pregnancies had failed. Gaius knew she was ill,but it was not something easily cured. Gaius and Alice had both tried many things but to no avail. Uther knew that Ygraine was in a bad place...he knew how desperately they needed an heir,but he did not want to see her hurt or killed as a result.

He knew of the whispers and rumors,the stories that he would send her away and take another wife. Many kings would have,but he loved her too deeply to consider such action,even if it were possibly best for the kingdom.

Ygraine asked if his intention was a dangerous one. He wanted to say no,to not worry her,but he could not. He knew that a life had to be given to create a life,that no one knew who would die. But he hoped it would not be one of them. And if it had to be,he would give himself in return.

"I will not lie, it can be. But it is my hope that it will not be,that all will be well. Magic does require a price...it is my hope that it will not be a price too high. I feel it is our last hope,the only remaining chance for a son.

[Deleted]

Igraine thought about the possible risks. She hadn't personally seen magic gone wrong, but it was entirely possible. She trusted both Gaius and Alice to perform the enchantment, but she was not sure if they were both capable of such a spell that would create life. That would only leave Nimueh. The sorceress was a good friend, and she trusted her to take as much care as she could. "Then we will have to speak with Nimueh quickly," she replied, not wanting to waste any time.

There would be risks, she remebered Uther noting. Well, if anything the risks would be toward her carrying her son. She would handle them. She lifted herself from the bed before standing. The suggestion had brought a bit of life to her cheeks for perhaps the first time in weeks.

[kinguthersqueen]

"Yes, we must."

He knew that Nimueh might not agree easily. She, above all people, knew of the power being used and the risks involved. He hoped she realized that he knew just as well what he was risking. Uther was simply a man driven to desperation. He did not want to die or see someone close to him die, but he could not die without an heir, either. The important thing was that no harm came to Ygraine...losing her would destroy him, and he knew it.

He smiled to see the happiness that came to her face when she thought of having a child. For so long, she had been heartbroken and depressed, hoping desperately she would be a mother one day and mourning the children who had not even made it to be being born. He'd felt helpless, unable to do anything to ease the pain. Perhaps, if all went well, it would finally be a little more joyful for both of them from day to day.

"Although magic is not something one can hope to control...I will plead with her to see if there is a way to know you will be safe...if anything were to happen to you, my heart would die as well."