The Darkness Ends (Uther/Arthur)

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther's broken mind had difficult remembering things for too long a time. Arthur had come to him before leaving for the Isle, but it had faded into the king's memory, and he could not recall where he had said he was going. It was hard to know what was real anymore, and what existed only in his mind, and it prevented him from grasping things very well.

A hunting trip. That's where someone had said he was going. Gwen, the servant girl, that was who had told him. He would be back in a couple of days. But there was something more, something Arthur had said that Uther wished he could recall. And the spirits, the screams...he had heard them everywhere. They had come for him at times, and he had only been spared because someone had pushed him out of their way or repelled them with fire.

Now, all was quiet. The smell of smoke filled the air, and he could see a pyre being lit in the courtyard. At first, he feared it was for Arthur, as words began to filter through his damaged mind. However, then saw the prince and knew he was alive. Uther wondered if Arthur would come and speak to him, wondered who it was for. Who had made the sacrifice?

[Arthur Pendragon]

The funeral had been difficult, for everyone was in mourning for the man who had sacrificed himself to save Camelot. It had ultimately been Arthur's responsibility, and he would never forgive himself for allowing another man to take this position. Had Arthur known this would happen, he would have ventured to the Isle of the Blessed by himself . . . rather than in the company of his brothers. It was also why he felt even more guilty after hearing Guinevère's words. To know that she had asked him as a personal favor to bring Arthur back; to make sure he stayed safe. Lancelot's life was on Arthur's conscience, and should be on no one else's. It was unforgivable and yet, he could do nothing to change it. He only walked away from her, allowing her to grieve in solitude for that seemed to be what she needed right now. He hated to see her cry, and mourn for a man who had not been meant to die. Yet he knew that no words nor actions could bring him back.

When the funeral drew to an end, the smoke from the fire filling the air, Arthur walked back to the castle. He had not told anyone of his true intentions of having gone on the journey, but he had in a way, said good bye to his father. Something that he now needed to remedy, for he was still alive. He had not spoken to him since his return. By the time he returned to Camelot, his father had fallen asleep. And in the morning, the funeral took place. He would now see him to explain what happened, should his father have any questions. Arthur made his way to the king's chambers, giving a short nod to the guards who were stationed right outside his doors. As Arthur entered, Gaius was leaving. This would give him the opportunity to speak to Uther alone. "Father," he greeted in a solemn voice. For today was a day of mourning, and on such a day, it was difficult to find joviality.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther moved a little bit when the door opened, but he didn't make much reaction to anyone coming in these days. Usually it was one of the servants, tending to one thing or another. Occasionally it might be Agravaine, Uther was uneasy at times with his presence, but had no inkling of the true ill will held against him or the collaboration with Morgana.

This time, however, it was Arthur, and the king tried to recall the earlier conversation through his troubled brain. He wondered if the torment of reality and hallucination blending and blurring would ever go away and if he would ever be left in peace. He thought he recalled Arthur saying a sort of goodbye, as though he would not be returning, but he also recalled the answer about the hunting trip. The funeral pyre made the confusion worse.

"Arthur. What happened...where did you go? We spoke...but I do not recall. I was told something about a hunting trip. But there is...was more. Something stopped the spirits. I no longer hear the screams. See their faces. But I saw the fire...who has died?"Uther knew he wasn't making as much sense as he usually did, but he hoped he was focused enough to be clear to Arthur.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur moved closer to his father, taking a seat in the one next to him so that he could just spend some time with his sole parent. He had thought he was never going to see him again . . . so he would not take these moments for granted. He had gotten used to his father's disjointed questions and thoughts, so waited for him to finish speaking before saying or doing anything. A hunting trip? It took a moment for Arthur to realize where that had come from. When he'd left, he had not told his father where he was going . . . so that must have been the excuse either Guinevère or Gaius gave him, since those two were the ones who were with Uther most frequently. In order to reassure him, Arthur extended his hand and gently put it on his father's forearm. "It's alright Father. I am here now," he assured, wanting him to know that he was not going anywhere . . . for he was not going to tell him what the true purpose of his last journey had been.

After a few moments he moved his hand back to his side, preparing to answer his next question . . . or few questions. "The creatures are forever gone. You need not worry about them." Another reassurance to him, that he did not have to be concerned about the faceless creatures and the screams that they released. He wanted his father to know that he was safe, and Arthur would ensure nothing happened to him. Or well, nothing more than the damage Morgana had done. But now the next subject came to the funeral. Arthur's gaze averted from his father's, to look out the window. It should have been his funeral, not Lancelot's. Arthur had been the one going there to offer his life as a means to close the veil . . . he should not have let another man die in his place. "It is the funeral of Sir Lancelot," he told him, unsure if the name would ring a bell in his father's mind. "He sacrificed his life to save the kingdom." And Arthur would not downplay that; he only felt guilty for allowing him to do so.

[kinguthersqueen]

Arthur had indeed not revealed the true purpose of his trip in exact words before he'd left. Uther had simply been aware of things in his tone and demeanor, although his troubled mind had difficulty processing them. He did take comfort in Arthur's assurance that the spirits were gone. A part of him questioned whether it was Morgana's work, but he was unsure of her abilities, if she truly had magic herself or it was Morgause helping her when magic was used against him. He knew only that someone had done something, and it had been something terrible. Arthur had been uneasy while facing it, but he had prevailed.

"I fear it was more...there were things unsaid. I recall your face. Your actions. But whatever it was, your return brings me relief."

Arthur spoke of the funeral, and of Lancelot. Uther had never agreed with Arthur knighting these commoners, but he'd been in no position to argue or demand otherwise. He did recall the griffin, and arguing with Arthur, but Lancelot hadn't stayed in the end.

"At least he died well. I never agreed with your actions, but chose not to argue. I was not in a position to do so. It does attest to the goodness of your judgements."

Uther was still stubborn, even in his broken state, and he couldn't make himself say outright that he'd been right about Lancelot, but he was still admitting something, in a more roundabout way.

[Arthur Pendragon]

He looked at his father when he said that he recalled his face . . . that he knew that something was wrong. This surprised Arthur, in a good way however. For it meant, that the king was more perceptive than everyone assumed. That he could hear and recognize more than it seemed. He knew his father was a strong man, which is why he hated seeing him in this state. Yet, to know that he had been able to tell that something was wrong . . . was a strange sort of relief. One that brought Arthur immense hope that his father could recover, despite what Gaius said. That it was not a lost cause, that he could return to being the strong king he once was. Of course, part of this could be denial . . . but he would go with hope. Hope seemed far more optimistic. More so when his father said that his return brought him relief.

He gently squeezed his father's arm in reassurance before lowering his hand back to his side. "You were not mistaken. But do not worry, for I am here now," he told him, not about to lie to him, but also wanted to be . . . encouraging. That his father should trust his instincts, that he still had his instincts. Despite all the torment he was going through, and had gone through this past year. When his father said that he did never agreed with his actions, Arthur couldn't help but give a small smile at this, despite the circumstances. His father's words were sounding more and more like the man he knew. And he liked hearing such glimpses of familiarity; knowing that Morgana had not taken everything from him. It only gave Arthur more hope, both a good thing and also a dangerous thing to carry. "Thank you father," he said first and foremost, grateful for his words of saying Arthur had good judgment.

"He was a good man. An honorable one." Arthur was not debating with him, but rather, just encouraging him to believe that Lancelot had saved the kingdom. "His actions prove that," he added, wanting his father to have a good impression of the man that he had not had the chance to get to know. "Have you eaten anything father?" He asked, recalling that some said he'd not eaten anything and was more concerned with his son's whereabouts. He wanted to make sure his father was staying as healthy as he could . . . he wanted to take care of him, yet knew he could not spend as much time with him as he liked. It was why Guinevère had taken over this task. He knew it wasn't easy for her, considering her past with Uther, but it was also what made him all the more grateful. For there was no one he trusted more than her.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther was essentially caught in a state between, a state of flux. Sometimes he was perceptive and able to discern things that might have surprised others, but other times, the brokenness and insanity tightened their hold and Uther slipped further into darkness and confusion. He tried to hold onto the clearer times, the times when he could hold onto reality and focus his mind. He wanted badly to recover, to keep himself from dying a broken old man, but it was not an easy path.

"I am glad. And pleased. You are always willing...you will protect the kingdom at any cost. But I fear for myself if I were to lose you. "

In his already broken, depressed state, the loss of Arthur would push him into insanity all the way, if not cause him to give up altogether and wait to die. It was a difficult thing to grapple with. He would not want Arthur to do any less than give his all for the kingdom, but he knew he could not bear the price it would exact from him. If Uther had known, he would have went, would have given his life. There was little left of it anyway, and it would have been better than the slow death of grief and insanity that was currently doing its best to destroy him. But he said nothing, it was over now.

"He was not always...but at least he fought well. Did have honor in the end."

The king could not forget Lancelot's first appearance in Camelot, but at least he had given his life for the kingdom. That would not be forgotten.

Arthur asked if he'd eaten. Just getting Uther to have a decent meal wasn't easy these days between his depression and periods of confusion, but he somehow kept himself alive, at least.

"A bit. But little...I was ill at ease and had little appetite."

He asked the other question that never stopped haunting him. He still longed to save his daughter, to bring her back from what he still desperately tried to believe was Morgause's doing. His rational mind knew it was Morgana herself, but he could not let go of his desires for her.

"What of Morgana? Has she been heard from at all? I cannot believe there is no hope...I still wish to save her..."