Sister Act

[Arthur Pendragon]

This could not be happening. Arthur could do nothing but stare in shock. He felt numb, frozen in place. He could not move. He could not blink. All he could do was stare in horror at the scene before him. How could this be. Never had he expected to return to Camelot to this. Yes, he knew that Cenred getting a hold of the cup would have detrimental effects . . . but this. THIS. No. It could not be. How could one deny what they saw with their own eyes though? Arthur wished there was some shred of deception here. But he was he who had been deceived all along. They all had. Morgana. She had betrayed them all. She was a traitor. She was his sister. Arthur did not know which was more shocking. The way she had revealed herself, with his father -- their father -- on his knees before her. How could she do this? How could this be happening?

He knew that his father and her were at odds, but nothing could have prepared him for what he saw now. As he was hiding in the upper portion of the throne room, all he could do was stare. The only thing that provided him with the slightest comfort was that -- despite Elyan's assumption -- Guinevère was alive. The relief upon seeing her however was clouded by the shock of everything else. Morgana. She was a traitor. She was his sister. How could his father have kept such a huge truth from him? What else was he lying about? How could she be doing all this? Did she truly hate them so much, did she truly hate Arthur so much that she would overthrow the Pendragons? No. She was a Pendragon. This was very unsettling. Everything about this situation filled the prince with shock. With devastation. With . . . horror. Yes. That was a good way to describe it. It was a horrific sight indeed, one that he could not bare to watch, yet one that he could not turn away from either.

Could this be an enchantment? Arthur so desperately wanted to believe this, but his gut told him it was not, and that was what made it hurt all the more. He knew they had to leave, and yet he wanted to storm down there and demand answers. He wanted to confront her. He wanted to know how could do this. Why? How? When? WHY! Why had she done this? Why had his father lied to him? How could she do this? How could his father lie to him? This was all too much. He knew he had to leave, but could not bring his body to move. He was barley able to breath. He did not even acknowledge Merlin's presence behind him. His mind did not go to Elyan, Gwaine and Gaius who would be waiting for them. Nothing else mattered. He could not break from this moment. This moment, which would be the most devastating moment in his entire life.

How could Morgana betray them. How could his father lie to him. How could she be his sister.

_{Setting: Starts in the Castle, eventually extends to the Darkling Woods
Time of Day: Late at night
Timeline: At the very end of The Coming of Arthur I
Tag: Merlin
Notes: Merlin needs to make Arthur snap out of it!}

[em]

Both Merlin and Arthur had watched in horror from their hiding place, as the King was made to kneel before Morgana and Morgause. He’d literally had to restrain Arthur from giving away their presence. “What use are you dead?” he’d hissed. as the scene unfolded Merlin could only watch with a constant frown of disapproval on his face. If only looks could kill - then perhaps Morgana and Morgause would be dead by now. He looked back to Arthur who was watching both out of angryness and curiosity.

He looked to the prince at the revelation that Morgana was actually his sister. He looked crushed, betrayed, horrified, all of these things rolled into one expression. Merlin had known about Morgana and that Arthur was the only one standing in her way to the throne. Now it seemed as though she had it – crown and all. He knew that the rein of terror was about to begin.
Arthur needed to be in the right state of mind. They needed to figure this one out. With Mogause by her side and an army of immortal soldiers it would be hard enough for the pair of them to go up against all of that. No matter how strong his magic was, Merlin knew that it wouldn’t be enough to keep Arthur or Camelot safe.

“Arthur” he hissed, “We need to get out of here now, before she finds us both – what use are we to your father when we have no back up?”

There were only so many spells that he could use to protect them both, but at the moment the retaking of Camelot was a lost cause in itself. He needed to come up with a plan and fast, before everyone he knew and loved were cut down in their paths by Morgana.

_____________________________________________

OOC – I can hardly remember this epi so sorry if it seems so out of character!

[Arthur Pendragon]

"What use are you dead?" Arthur didn't answer the question; he didn't care. Well, he did but right now the shock was still consuming him. Still paralyzing him from moving or even responding to Merlin's urgency as he was rightfully telling him that they had to go. But Arthur could not -- as before -- bring himself to move. It was one of those horrible scenes that you did not want to see, but could not tear his gaze away from. Morgana. She . . . how could she do this. Would such a question ever be answered? What was she going to do in her self appointed position of power? Arthur was afraid to hear the answers to any of these questions. He did not want to leave. But he had to. Otherwise, she . . . no. She wouldn't kill him. And yet, here she was. Showing such little remorse for everything. Showing that she did not care that she brought the king to his knees and forced herself to be queen. She spoke with so much hatred, a tone of voice that would have sent a chill down Arthur's spine had he not felt so numb and frozen in place.

He did not reply to Merlin. He did not even turn his head in the slightest. He was . . . like a statue. Looking helplessly, defenselessly, devastatingly. He could not yell out in anger. He could not cry tears of pain. He just stared. His heart beating at such a rapid pace he was certain it was going to abruptly stop at some point. He felt a slight tremble fill his body. He did not know what emotion was the most dominating right now. There were too many to selectively place them. To categorize them. He didn't want to leave. But he knew he had to. "We need to get out of here now, before she finds us both – what use are we to your father when we have no back up?" She. As if she was a mortal enemy of theirs where as Arthur practically grew up with her, regarding her as a sister, without even knowing this relationship ran through their blood. And now, she was being spoken of as if she was their nemesis. Had Arthur not been witnessing it, he would not have believed it. But, It was the words from Merlin that pulled Arthur out of his trance . . . sort of.

While the shock had not subsided, the necessity to leave was slowly registering in the prince's appalled mind. He had to leave, but he couldn't leave. He had to devise a plan to save his father . . . to save Camelot . . . but . . . from who . . . from Morgana. He knew Merlin was right. They were outnumbered ,and Arthur's leg was still in the process of recovery even though Gaius had tended to it. It would still take time to fully heal and . . . . . Morgana had betrayed them. This would be the thought -- the reality -- that forever haunted him. Arthur was not sure how he did it, but he slowly began to move forward, not tearing his gaze away from the horrific scene for one second. Not even when he spoke. "Let's go." His voice was barley above a whisper and it lacked any trace of emotion. As he backed up, he rose to his feet, feeling the tension of the wound, but hoped that the adrenaline of everything would kick in soon and not hinder his ability to run. He would limp through it. He had to. But . . . Morgana betrayed them and she was his sister.

[em]

It was like Arthur had frozen to the spot. The result of the icy glares Morgana was now throwing Uther’s way. Merlin couldn’t imagine how his friend felt at the moment. He almost felt like kicking himself for knowing of this revelation earlier. Had he not have the Merlin would have felt just as betrayed by Morgana’s actions, and he wouldn’t have condemned them either. It was all thanks for the crystal cave and a bit of eves dropping, which resulted in him knowing what was to come. He’d seen Morgana with that crown on her head. He should’ve acted quicker to prevent it.

Merlin now began to wonder as to whether it was right of him to heal her when he’d allowed Morgana to fall down the stairs – so as to stop her from harming the King. Should he have let her die? But he hadn’t – no, which was the problem, he was too nice and guilt ridden to see everyone else suffer as a result of his actions. And now they were suffering from them still! He felt like he couldn’t win in this game!

On hearing Arthur say that they should go, Merlin quietly shifted himself and crept out into the hallway – checking to see if any guards were lurking. Morgana’s immortals looked dead already. Their faces blank and eyes as dark as hers.

“Come on” he gestured to Arthur who was now looking just as blank and motionless as Morgana’s men. “We’ll get out of here and think of something, then we can come back and fight for what is yours” he told him.

Merlin couldn’t afford Arthur’s current state of mind to land them in the same situation as their friends. Held in the dungeons awaiting a certain death. If it was his destiny to protect Arthur, then protect him he would. Even if it meant bringing down the one who had always been like a sister to him.

[Arthur Pendragon]

"We'll get out of here and think of something, then we can come back and fight for what is yours." Arthur was not as optimistic. Despite the overwhelming shock that consumed him, he also knew the chances of defeating an immortal army were . . . well, how did one even defeat an immortal army? There was no way. You could not kill something that was already dead. But he could not watch his father and the kingdom suffer at her hand. That was something that Arthur never thought he would say, or have such ideas in his head. It was devastating to realize . . . to have to see how Morgana did this to them. How she was his sister, and she now treated them like they were nothing to her. She treated them like they had tortured her for her entire life; treating them like she lived under their cruelty and ruthlessness.

Had he not given her the love and affection a brother was meant to give a sister? Had he not taken care of her? Had his father not given her everything she'd always wanted? So . . . what was the reason? What were her motives? She had magic in her, but was that it? They had not killed her for it; she had not even given them a chance to react! Until now. And look at where it has gotten everyone. Arthur pulled out his sword. Even though it would be a useless weapon to kill an immortal, it would at least give them some defense so that they could make a get a way. Arthur moved down the hall, trying not to limp as much as before. Leaving now, he would be leaving the kingdom to her . . . wrath. He would be leaving his father. Guinevère. All the knights. Everyone. What would she do to them? Would she kill them? How could they stop her? This all seemed to impossible and yet, the only thing he could think of was still attempting to understand how she had done this all. Arthur knew he had to say something, but was at such a loss for words.

He knew Merlin was trying to be encouraging but he could not accept that they would easily find a way to reverse all this. For if it came down to it, no matter what she did, Arthur feared that he would never be able to strike her down. As easy as it seemed for her to inflict harm on them . . . he would was afraid that he'd never be able to kill her. And he did not doubt she would use that as an advantage; that she would use that as his greatest weakness. He paused for a moment, before rounding a corner, waiting for a few of the soldiers to pass. Upon stopping, he looked down deep in thought about . . . everything. "How could she do this . . . " He asked in a very low voice so that they would not be heard. Arthur knew Merlin would not have an answer. Not unless he was inside her head which, Arthur sincerely hoped he was not. But it was all the prince could say right now, for he didn't know how else to react to everything.

[em]

Morgana had truly turned into the enemy now. Then again since her return Merlin knew of where her allegiance lay – although being the idiot that he was, he’d allowed it to go to the extreme stage.

“Because she must have known that she had a claim to the throne? And that you’re the only one standing in her way” Merlin suggested sighing slightly. It pained him to say it, but they both knew that this was true, “Arthur, with Morgause at her side, who knows what kind of destruction they’ll bring to Camelot”. He replied to Arthur’s previous question. “and with an army like that…” he began but didn’t go on. he didn’t want to think about just how much carnage that Morgana would leave in her wake.

Merlin poked his head out of their hiding place, aware that there were no more minions patrolling the halls. He pulled himself back in and looked to Arthur.

“We need to find the others,” he muttered on hearing footsteps again, the shadows of the guards walking past again. Didn’t they ever sleep? Probably not – they were immortal after all; sleep would be the last thing on their minds.

“Any ideas on how we make a run when the freaky creeps are out hunting for us?”
Arthur was usually filled with good ideas. Well, sort of. Most of the time it would involve Merlin being the distraction.

They needed to find Gauis, Elyan and Gwaine. At least then they would have people who they could trust, helping them out. It wasn’t going to be easy – especially as most of their friends were locked away, but they had to try.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur may have asked the question, but he did not want to hear the answer. Though he had seen it, he did not want to hear of Morgana's betrayal in the sense that someone else talking about it . . . no. It didn't matter. Nothing would make the pain stronger or weaker. It was there, and it was dominating ever emotion within him. Hearing Morgause's name . . . Arthur didn't even know how to react to it. He considered Morgause to be one of his greatest enemies, firstly for creating false illusions of his mother, then for putting the entire kingdom under a spell, and then . . . supposedly kidnapping Morgana. To know now that she had been a part of the whole thing . . . it was just so unbelievable. To the point that Arthur had no words to offer. The loss of a sister and the fear for an entire kingdom. He knew Merlin spoke the truth, even if he could not verbally agree with him or recognize this. To say it out loud was not something Arthur was prepared to do.

He had to focus on the task at hand: finding the others and escaping from the city. Neither would be easy. Arthur almost wanted to charge at the soldiers, knowing that he could find them until he grew tired and they killed him. This thought almost seemed tempting in fact. While he was an emotional wreck though, he was no where near suicidal. There was far too much he needed to do -- such as devise a way to save his father and thus the future of Camelot. Of course, this in itself seemed like an impossibility, so what was the point? If not for his sake, then perhaps Merlin's who was still in his company and who had risked his life by leaving the others and joining Arthur as he remained in the castle. They needed to get out of here and Arthur knew exactly where to go once they were out of the castle and city. He turned around and motioned for them to go back from the direction they came.

"There is a secluded hallway that will lead to the side entrance of the castle." He purposely left it vague for there was no need to get into all of the details; only to focus on the exit. If there was one thing he could use to his advantage, one thing that he had that Morgana would never have, it was the vast knowledge of the castle for Arthur knew every hallway, every corner, every stone, that it consisted of. "Once we're out, we need to make a run for the woods." The Darkling Woods, but he was once even leaving it ambiguous. He just wanted Merlin to know that as soon as they got out of here, to run like hell. "Stay close," he warned him. He had already lost a sister; the last thing he wanted and needed was to lose a brother as well.

[em]

"There is a secluded hallway that will lead to the side entrance of the castle."

He should’ve known. He’d done a lot of sneaking around after Morgana and hiding in secluded alcoves. How had he not known of that hallway? Thank goodness Arthur did otherwise they’d both be stuck.

They would have to move fast, run fast, and talk less. All that mattered was that they made a break for it. As Arthur was now stating. "Once we're out, we need to make a run for the woods."

The woods. Morgana’s men would surely find them there. “She had guards everywhere, they’re bound to find us hiding in some bushes easily!” Merlin told him worriedly. He couldn’t hold these guards off for that long, and only the simplest of spells would actually hold them back and give both him and Arthur time to escape.

In the end he looked to Arthur and gave a small nod. What other choice did they have? “Lets go”

With that Merlin looked to see if anymore guards were patrolling before stepping out quietly into the hallway. He waited for Arthur to lead the way before following. He had no idea where this secluded hallway was or how far away from their hiding place it would be.

As they ran down the hallway Merlin looked back noticing one of the guards had now turned the corner and spotted them. He stopped and turned back “Ástríce” he muttered and sent the guard flying back into the wall. With that he turned and ran managaing to catch up with Arthur as they fled from the castle and out into the night.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Merlin's words did not fall in deaf ears, but Arthur would answer more of the plan once they were out of here undetected. Speaking too much could only arouse the attention of those they were trying to get away from. As they ran down the halls, the adrenaline began to kick in and he managed to fight through the pain. It would take time to heal, but the caves would be the perfect spot to recover and then . . . who knows what the next step was. He hadn't a clue. He felt at this point, there was no way to stop her. That if any action could have been taken, it should have been days ago, weeks ago . . . months ago. But Morgana had deceived them all. Arthur kept his sword out in front of him, glancing behind him every so often to make sure Merlin was still nearby. The last thing they needed right now was to get separated. Arthur doubted he would leave without him . . . and yet, he was leaving without Guinevère. Without his father. Without Leon. Without Lucan. Without the others.

When he reached the end of the hall which led to an open exit, Arthur turned and saw that Merlin was not right behind him. He froze for a moment, panicking. What had happened? Had he gotten lost? Was he captured? No! How could that have happened with Arthur hearing anything for they couldn't have been that far away from each other. This panic only lasted a few moments for sure enough, Merlin came running down the hall and as he did, Arthur's eyes quickly searched him over for any sign of injury. He pushed Merlin out of the exist first, standing there for only a couple of seconds before following him outside.

"This way," he urged Merlin, not hearing anyone following them so it seemed they would have a bit of a head start. "There's a cave not too far. It will give us what we need." Concealment. Protection. Water supply. And they could hunt for food for as long as they needed. Or well, not to draw out the hiding process too long. But it would give them the basic necessities. He saw Gwaine, Elyan and Gaius in the distance and motioned for them to follow along with him and Merlin. "You alright?" He asked, just to be sure nothing had happened, even in those two seconds he had been out of sight . . . and to make sure he was alright to keep up with the running. But he knew Merlin would be. This was not the first time the pair had been running for their lives . . . hopefully they would live long enough for the inevitable next time as well.

[em]

He saw Arthur quickly look at him as he came running down the hallway. “Sorry, one of them almost spotted me” he lied. The guard had but Merlin wasn’t about to tell his friend that he’d blasted him back into a wall!

"There's a cave not too far. It will give us what we need."

“Anything – even a hole in the ground is better than nothing, but we need to hurry before they spot us” Merlin urged, “I have a bad feeling that the warning bell will start off any minute now.” It would, if the concussed immortal guard had anything to do with it.

They carried on running. It was now a matter of life and death. Thankfully the three figures in the distance confirmed to both Merlin and Arthur that Gauis, Elyan and Gwaine had managed to carry on safely. "You alright?" he heard Arthur ask. Merlin just nodded. “Im still alive aren’t I?” he panted; he was almost out of breath but knew that it wouldn’t stop him.

“What about you?!” He asked after a few moments of the most awkward silence ever, “are you…ok?” He knew that the scene and revelations that had unfolded before Arthur’s eyes would scar him for life. It had shocked Merlin when he had found out- in a way he’d felt guilty for knowing and not telling Arthur, but this was one of those situations where anything could have happened, and to have provoked it could have made things a whole lot worse.

Merlin wondered what could have happened if he’d told Arthur of this earlier – would Morgana have still taken the throne? Would Arthur have believed him? oh well, ‘what if’s’ didn’t matter right now, all that did was finding a way to help the others.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Good thing they had not actually spotted Merlin. Thankfully for his sake. As long as he was alright, that was what mattered right now. He could only take one small thing at a time for thinking of everything . . . taking in everything was still leaving him in shock and disturbance. Right now they would concentrate on getting out of the city, and this was why they were currently racing through the woods. "I doubt an immortal guard will ever rest either," Arthur added, knowing it was not the most optimistic thing to say in such a situation, but Arthur could not even think of a way to be positive right now. Even if Guinevère was with them and she brought along with her all that hope she always did, he would find no comfort in it. For Morgana had taken away any peace of mind right now.

Ironically, shortly after Merlin said the words, the warning bells rung in the air, alerting all the guards to be on the look out for them. Thankfully, they were already deep into the woods and reaching the hiding space that he knew they would be unable to find. The only others who knew of it was Leon and some of the knights, but he doubted they would tell Morgana this. He knew he could rely on their loyalty, but that was what worried him as well for it was putting them in danger . . . Arthur could only think of what Morgana would try to do to gain their allegiance. "We're almost there," he told Merlin, trying to encourage him in the sense that even though the warning bells could be heard in the far distance, it would not matter.

Arthur ignored the question of whether he was alright. Quite plainly, no. He was not alright. But he was not going to talk about how he felt. While he normally didn't, he was especially not going to do so with this. Some things were just far too painful to put into words. He was not even thinking of his injury for Morgana's betrayal had overshadowed any other source of agony or affliction that he was enduring. When they finally reached the cave he pushed Merlin inside first, and then remained near the entrance. His back was against the cave wall, and his sword was out, prepared to defend themselves against any of the guards who may have found them. Arthur held very still, and heard a shuffle in the distance. "Stay here," he warned Merlin, as he took a few steps out of the confinement of the cave and closer to where he heard the sounds coming from. He saw three figures in the distance and was instantly reassured when he recognized them as Gaius, Gwaine and Elyan. "The others are here," Arthur told Merlin so that he too would not have to worry, and the prince lowered his sword, putting it back in its sheath.

[[ Let me know if its too rushed for them to get to the cave so soon! Figured they could talk more when they weren't running for their lives ]]

[em]

He could hear the warning bell sounding out now, just as he’d finished. Obviously that was going to happen. He and Arthur carried on running anyway. He wondered what the Prince was thinking at this moment. Having been betrayed by the sister who he just found out that he shared blood with was the top one, but he also knew that Arthur would be thinking of ways to try and help Gwen and the knights to escape Morgana’s clutches.

"We're almost there," he heard Arthur call as the bells still rang loud and clear.

“I’VE GOT A STITCH!!” Merlin called, panting slightly as he felt himself began to slow down more. No – keep running, keep alive. Keep Arthur alive. Finally! The cave, as he stopped coming to the entrance, Arthur shoved him inside before following.
Merlin turned to him. “Do you think they saw us come this way?” he asked as he regained his breath. Perhaps, Arthur’s back was now against the cave wall – sword at the ready to strike should any guard happen to appear.

“Arthur!” he hissed as the prince gave orders for him to stay there while he slowly headed outside again. Merlin headed to where Arthur had been standing before, his back up against the cave wall, waiting.

He hoped that the sounds he could hear outside were not the ones of guards. If they were then Arthur would be calling for him right now. "The others are here,”

Merlin almost jumped a mile as Arthur appeared again and confirmed that Gwaine, Elyan and Gauis had made it there safely. He gave a small sigh of relief. “Now what?” he asked Arthur who was busy putting his sword back in his sheath.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur had practically ignored Merlin's claim to have a stitch. Ordinarily, it would have been a good source and inspiration for endless mockery -- until the next opportunity came. But right now, Arthur didn't even feel like doing that. He was passing up on one of his favorite hobbies: tormenting Merlin. His remark had only made him turn to make sure he was still there, and still close enough. He knew it was going to be dangerous to stay in Camelot for . . . however long they would hide out for. At the same time, he could not even consider leaving. Not when an entire kingdom was at stake. Not when his father's life, Guinevère's life, and every other person's life in the castle and city -- and ultimately the entire kingdom -- was in jeopardy. Yet . . . how the hell did one defeat an immortal army? It just seemed so very impossible, to kill something that was already dead. Then again, if anyone had asked him yesterday if he thought Morgana would turn against him, this response would have been: Impossible.

"Now what?" Arthur hadn't the slightest clue. He usually had a plan; something that he could work with. Considering most every contingency in the process. But this time, he was at a complete loss. He didn't know where to start, where to go, what the end game was . . . he didn't know anything. His thoughts were still consumed with what Morgana had done. With the lies his father had told. With . . . everything he had just witnessed in the last hour or so. He just felt lost; broken; devastated. He did not look at Merlin when he asked his question, not wanting to even begin to attempt to explain how he felt. He was bad enough with expressing emotions as it was, and he had a feeling this would be the most painful truth to ever be revealed.

"You can freshen up." There was a river right nearby. Arthur didn't care for it though. "I will hunt later." They would of course need food as he knew that at least himself, Merlin and Gwaine had not eaten anything all day, and they would have to keep up their strength just in case they would have to make another run for it. Though, he was fairly confident this would give them the concealment they required. Never the less, it would be something to occupy his time. He made his way further into the cave and went to the corner, sliding to the ground. He had his knees up and his elbows were propped up on them. He lowered his head into his hands and just sat there. He didn't care how pitiful it looked; he did not need sympathy or condolence. He just needed for everything to go back to the way it was. He needed to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

[em]

Freshen up? No there was no time. Merlin had to make sure that Arthur didn’t get into any trouble out there. The idea of going hunting while Morgana’s minions were looking for them was madness in itself.

“I’ll hunt, you stay here – you’re tired” Merlin told him, noting the wry expression on Arthur’s face. He didn’t care if he was going against orders. He had to let Arthur rest and take his mind off of everything he’d just witnessed. It wasn’t going to be easy.

Merlin put down the bag he’d brought with the things he needed in them. The vial that the fisher king had given him being one. Now was the time that he would need to use it. He just had to make sure that no one was around to see it, or to see him try and make sense of how to use it’s power.
He sat down and looked at Arthur. “I know it’s not much, but…im sorry Arthur – really….I am”

Merlin had no idea why he was apologising. It most certainly wasn’t on Morgana’s behalf. It was more the fact that they’d had to leave people behind. He had no idea what Morgana would do to them, but she wouldn’t go lightly on them that was certain. They needed to take back the castle for their own, and fast.

[Arthur Pendragon]

While Arthur heard Merlin's apology, he did not respond to it. While he appreciated it, everyone knew that none of this could be fixed with words. That there were no amount of words -- despite their strong sincerity -- that could heal the wounds that had now been formed . . . by Morgana. The fact that he was still surrounded by friends . . . well, he wanted to say that it helped. It wanted to say that it was enough to bind a broken heart. But it was not. Morgana had been a woman he'd known his entire life, even before she lived with them at the castle. Had he really been that bad to her? Had he really unknowingly made her hate him and his father so much? How? He was trying to determine an answer but thinking back to all the memories they shared, but every single smile she had made at him, every compliment she had given, every word of affection and kindness, every sacrifice . . . it all felt like a lie. It felt like in one moment, his entire childhood with her had been stolen.

Arthur kept his head in his hands for a few moments, using all his strength to fight back the tears in his eyes. That was the last thing he needed: to start being so emotional in front of everyone. But he was weakening. He had once cried for her when she was dying. . . and now he felt as if he would cry for he had lost her in another way. In a more painful way really. How long had she been like this? Since she had returned from her kidnapping? Had she really been kidnapped? All those days and knights he had searched for her . . . all the men he had lost in the process . . . was it worth anything now? He had been so happy to have her back, and in that entire year did all he could to protect her. But really, it was everyone who needed protection from her.

Arthur slowly raised his head, though his gaze was still averted down. "Do not go by yourself," he warned Merlin. It was far too dangerous and quite frankly, Merlin was not the most skilled with a sword. He could defend his own rather well -- considering the fact that when he first started working for him, he was so hesitant to lift a weapon. But there was safety in numbers, and Arthur did not want to risk Merlin's life like that just because he was feeling too . . . physically and emotionally drained right now. What brothers he had left, he was not about to lose. He could not do much right now. He had failed in protecting the king, and the people of Camelot . . . but those he had with him, he still had a duty to protect, to ensure their safety of. Especially Merlin who had been with him during this all and who must be so equally shocked by her betrayal. He knew that Merlin and Morgana were friends . . . such an odd term to use now. "We will go in a little while," he told him, including himself in that category. Neither would go alone, that much was for sure.

[em]

Merlin really had no idea as to what to say or do that could make Arthur feel any better about the situation at this moment. There wasn’t anything at all. Why should there be? Arthur didn’t even look like the prattish prince that he laughed with, offended, gave advice to. He was more like a pale shell of shock. Merlin could see that he was close to breaking point, but didn’t want to make a big thing out of it. Arthur didn’t do hugs and Merlin couldn’t think of any wise words at this time.

“I will go whether you like it or not” Merlin told him, “Arthur…you need to keep your strength up, everyone else does to – stay here and I’ll be back soon”. At least if he was out then he could knock a few of Morgana’s minions out of the way with magic, should they choose to hunt him down instead.

He looked down at him. “I know im not your best friend or anything. I know im just your servant who sometimes gives you a talking to or throws pillows in your face” he began softly, “but I know you can do what it takes to take Camelot back into your hands”. With everyone else alongside them, they had nothing much to lose. But that was just a dream in Merlin’s head and in reality – they had everything. “And whatever you decide to do, I’ll be with you all the way – I promise”.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur just silently disagreed. He would make sure Merlin would not wander off on his own for he doubted he would be getting any sleep tonight. He just lacked the strength to argue with him right now; he lacked the strength to do anything other than wallow in this threatening depression of seeing who Morgana really was. Seeing how two years had changed her so dramatically from the previous ones. Silence did not ensue though for Merlin continued to speak and his words . . . his words meant more to Arthur than he could ever say; than he could ever express. "I know I'm not your best friend or anything." But he was. Arthur gave him hell and he knew it but at the end of the day, he trusted Merlin more than just a master trusted their servant. He trusted Merlin more than a friend trusted a friend. He trusted Merlin . . . the way a brother trusted his brother. Yet saying these words were always difficult for the young prince to do. Emotional expression was best done through actions rather than words when it came to him. But right now, he could do nothing more than sit here. He could do nothing more than dwell in sadness and fear for those who's lives were at risk . . . lives that lay in the hands of Morgana.

He continued on to speak of how much faith he held in him . . . of how he would be there with him. His words brought tears to Arthur's eyes, threatening to escape once again. Of course, Arthur was already emotionally vulnerable but the tears were now a mix of sadness, as well as a strange feeling of being touched over Merlin's words, for it was a reminder that while he had lost a sister and a close friend . . . he still had those who supported him surrounding him. He did not know what the next few days would bring and he feared massively for their lives, for Guinevère's life for his father's life, for the lives of civilians . . . for the fate of Camelot. If this was to be his last conversation with Merlin, he didn't want it to consist of throwing things at him, or acting like he was less than him in any way. He didn't want to degrade him, make him feel like he was anything else than a brother.

He forced back the tears, blinking them away and remaining silent until he was certain that his voice would not crack or break during words. He kept his gaze down, but that did not lessen the sincerity of the words he was about to speak. "Merlin, I have known no truer friend in the entirety of my life, and expect that I will not in the future." He doubted he would ever have a friendship with another as he did with Merlin in the future . . . and he had never had one such as theirs in the past. "So know that, regardless of what happens . . . " Arthur knew that the only thing that was enabling him to speak right now, was the fact that he doubted they would survive for all too much longer, for he felt there was little hope . . . almost no hope. "I am honored to have gained a brother." Such as him.

[em]

Now he could see the tears threatening to fall from Arthur’s eyes again. Merlin knew he should’ve just kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to upset Arthur anymore than he already was. For him to think that he would lose everything should they take on Morgana was most likely killing him slowly right now, but Merlin had to let him know that he wouldn’t lose him if his life depended on it.

"Merlin, I have known no truer friend in the entirety of my life, and expect that I will not in the future."

“What about the next life?” Merlin smiled weakly. He remembered Arthur’s words when the Knights of Medeer had been trying to break into the throne room. They still rang as clear as day.

“If I ever need a servant in the next life…” Arthur had said with determination as he pulled off the barriers that prevented the enemy from entering.

“Don’t ask me!”

It seemed ironic right now, as to whether Arthur would say something like that or not.

"So know that, regardless of what happens . . . "

Ok now he was starting to get a little more concerned. Perhaps Arthur had something up his sleeve that involved him dying in the process. He wouldn’t let it happen though. That, Merlin was certain of, even if he had no idea as to how Morgana could be defeated.
He waited, a lump forming in his throat as Arthur spoke his next words. Whether this be the last was beyond his imagination. He hoped that they would live to have another conversation. Whether it involved throwing things and calling each other a prat or an idiot or not.

"I am honored to have gained a brother."

These words took Merlin by surprise. A brother? He hadn’t expected anything like that. Idiot yes. Brother? He looked to Arthur and smiled. “It’s a brother’s job to look out for a brother who he knows he can trust his life with. And if it means dying for him without so much as a second thought, then im defiantly that brother”.

Merlin had always wanted a brother – even though they didn’t share blood, they had memories. And those memories were what were keeping Merlin going.

[Arthur Pendragon]

The next life. It seemed that there was a good chance they were entering it soon. Of course in this depth of despair, Arthur could not help but feel pessimistic. He felt that there was no hope . . . for how did one defeat an immortal army? A question that kept haunting his mind, but not as much as the question of: how could Morgana have done this. He did not say anything to answer his question, but rather, listened intently to his next words . . . about what a brother's job entailed. Their relationship was such that they never often spoke of such things. He knew Merlin's loyalty though -- and it surpassed any sort of loyalty that a servant should have for a master. For he willingly accompanied the prince on dangerous missions -- and though it was technically part of his job, there were certain journeys that were too dangerous and he often knew that Merlin took a risk, for him and for Camelot. And then of course there were the times he directly put his life in danger for him; the amount of times he saved his life.

But these things always remained unspoken between them; verbally unacknowledged but silently and emotionally understood and appreciated. But now, when everything seemed so askew . . . he was more grateful for Merlin remaining with him than ever before. Arthur didn't know what to say, for his words truly honored the prince. He just kept his gaze to the ground, very subtly nodding his head, not even able to smile in response. He felt a single tear leave his eye, and that was all he would permit. He could not remember the last time he cried -- especially in front of Merlin -- and he was not going to make this a memorable one. But his friend's words, mixed in with all the other distraught emotions . . . was finally catching up t him, and the tear was unstoppable, inevitable, unavoidable. He hoped with his silence, Merlin stood understood what he was trying to say; how appreciative he was towards him. He was not sure how much time had passed, as minutes felt like hours, but finally, Arthur spoke. "We should get some food." And check to see if they had been followed.

He'd heard nothing, but it was better to be certain. If they were, they could not spare a second. If not, then they still required food to keep up their strength for the coming days of remaining concealed and fleeing the area if discovered. Apart from all these reasons, another was because Arthur needed fresh air. He needed to do something right now, trying to distract himself from the image of Morgana on the throne, even though he knew it would haunt and plague his thought for every second of every day . . . especially when they were here. He rose to his feet, slightly cringing from the pain his leg still gave him. It would take time to heal, he knew that, but in his mind, the more he moved it about, the better. Trying to adjust to his now standing position, he waited a few more moments before walking forward, using all his strength to make sure he did not limp, though was unsure of how successful this was. With the adrenaline wearing off . . . it felt slightly more painful, and yet the pain was numbed by the dark emotions that filled his heart.

[em]

Merlin could tell that Arthur really didn’t want to listen to anything that was coming from his mouth at the moment, but he looked a little overwhelmed when he’d given his speech about standing by his side and whatnot. Of course, he was trying hard not to show it, which was just as bad – it was good to sometimes just let it all out – but the Prince wasn’t like that in the slightest.

Food. Ah yes, the subject of food seemed to be the only topic of discussion at the moment. Merlin didn’t dare discuss Morgana until Arthur was finally ready to do so himself. He was a bundle of emotions himself at the moment, but he’d seen it – all of this, and yet he hadn’t stopped it.
Should he have let Morgana die when he had the chance to before? Most probably, but of course he was far too nice to let that happen, and now look what had happened as gratitude. Merlin sometimes wished he shouldn’t let guilt take over his actions too much – then again if this was destiny the dragon had spoken of then was it the right way to be going? They were practically on the verge of death every second, and now Morgana’s minions were hunting them down, Merlin could hardly call it ‘destiny’, but he couldn’t call it unfortunate either.

“I said I’d get some” He told Arthur, trying his best not to seem like he was mollycoddling the prince. Arthur didn’t do hugs or man-to-man talks as it was. “Just stay here and I’ll head out – if I see them I’ll hide and come straight back” he said, referring to ‘them’ as the immortal army.

Arthur was already standing, looking as though he was in pain. “Arthur” he rolled his eyes, “sit down”.
He wasn’t in a position to tell the prince what to do, but when Merlin knew it was for the best, then he’d tell him to do what he liked.