We Will Not Break (Morgana)

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin was just getting confused, and tired. She just didn’t want any of her friends to get hurt, but she was starting to realise she was in a feeble position to secure anyone’s safety, even her own. She just dropped her head, and pressed her lips and eyes together. Right now she wanted Morgana to go away and leave her, and let her deal with her grief in private. She wasn’t going to show anymore weakness in front of this woman, she had done enough damage with the little that Caitrin had already shown her. “You will have my written word, how much more do you intend to take?” She meant emotionally of course, because the woman knew exactly what she was doing after all. Caitrin didn’t want to see Arthur or Yassia hurt in any way, and she bit her lip softly and shifted her hands to try and make her chains set in a more comfortable way. It was worth a try, but nothing was going to make her feel better now physically or mentally.

Rejoice? She couldn’t be serious. Caitrin felt like doing anything but that. She was going to sign her loyalty to a woman she hated completely, and in the process she was betraying one of her closest friends. Caitrin couldn’t remember feeling so guilty, or even so worthless. She wanted this torment to end, but her eyes now darted back up to the Queen. Jesu what else could she possibly want? “What is it?” She asked nervously, she had nothing else she could think Morgana would be interested in. She was swearing her loyalty, and dining with her. How else could she prove her loyalty. Well, she couldn’t prove her loyalty because there wasn’t any specific loyalty there; it was all under duress, but she just wanted to finish with this now. “Well, it isn’t like I’m going anywhere is it.” Caitrin remarked as she sunk into the corner of the cell again, glaring at Morgana as she remarked about returning with the document.

[mpend]

It was well into the night when Morgana eventually returned with the document. Of course, it had been ready an hour after she had asked for it, but there was no sense in letting Caitrin's torment end any time soon. Not when she was having so much fun being the tormenter. Upon reaching the cell, Morgana sneered down at her prisoner. "Your time has come, Caitrin," she spoke cooly. "Are you ready to utterly abandon Arthur for the sake of your own welfair?" She was teasing her with her words now. But oh, what fun it was!!

"It is time to decide your value, Caitrin." With a nod at the jailer, the doors were opened, and Morgana slipped into the cell, smiling as though she had already won. Which, in all truth she had. "As soon as you sign this document, you will be given rooms here. You will be guarded, of course, but that is for your own safety. And tomorrow night, you will dine with me and my court, and we will toast the great happiness that is our treaty," Morgana smiled at her, though the smile was anything but kind.

"Are you ready to sign?"

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin had been falling in and out of sleep since Morgana had left the cell that morning, or at least she had assumed it had been the morning. She was huddled in the corner of the cell, still. Her head was resting against her knees, and her eyes were closed. She just wanted to sleep, because when she slept she could forget about any of this. However, it was easier said than done. She was cold, her clothes hadn’t been washed for days and her wrists were aching with the weight of the chains. She yawned into her dress, and raised her head as she heard footsteps ring through the dungeon. In a way, she hadn’t expected Morgana to come back, or perhaps that had been more of a hope than anything. She hadn’t wanted Morgana to come back and make her sign, because that made all of this real.

She glared up at Morgana as the woman poked her head through the bars of her cell. She raised herself from her seated position, feeling groggy and just plain ill. She sniffed back, but continued her glares as Morgana entered the cell. Surely she knew that even if the document was signed, it wouldn’t mean anything. Caitrin wasn’t loyal to Morgana, how could she be loyal to anyone who had put her through this? Coughing slightly, she felt slightly faint for a moment; she couldn’t remember when she had last eaten. She went off balance, but the wall was there to steady her so her shoulder collided with it and just stayed there; keeping her upright. She didn’t want to fight anymore, she wanted to go home, but even signing this treaty wouldn’t mean she could go home. “I don’t think the treaty is a reason to celebrate.” She said bluntly, as to Caitrin it wasn’t a reason to celebrate at all. She looked on, quite seriously at Morgana. There were dark lines under the young noblewoman’s eyes, and she could barely support herself. What choice did she have but to sign? She couldn’t last much longer down here by herself. She nodded stiffly at Morgana, but didn’t say anything to confirm her intentions, she was already heartbroken enough that she was actually going through with this.

[mpend]

A soft chuckle left Morgana's lips as the true state of Caitrin filled her gaze, and for once she felt truly as if she were on the avenging side. The girl was broken - so much more than her friend was - and in this, the Queen felt as though she had accomplished something. "Perhaps you should learn to think it is," Morgana's words were sharp. "For with it, you will be a guest instead of a prisoner, an ally instead of an enemy."

With a nod of her head, a guard stepped forward, handing Morgana the scroll upon which held the treaty Caitrin was to sign. She had had it carefully written, and if Caitrin looked close enough, she might refuse altogether. For though the wording was complex and strange, there were things in there that would mean that once the paper was signed, all honour to Caitrin would be lost. "Here is the treaty," Morgana said sharply. "Sign it, and all will be well between you and I."

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin just felt weak, in every sense of the word. She was propping herself up, and that was it. The same was true mentally and physically. She just felt like she was struggling on for a few moments of peace. She just wanted this to end and for Morgana to leave her alone. However, she doubted the woman would ever leave her alone. This treaty didn’t guarantee her safety, it just put her in closer proximity to the new Queen. She raised her eye brows at Morgana’s words, and felt her lips press into an amused smile. “I won’t be a prisoner? Then why am I to be placed in rooms under guard?” She asked just as sharply. This treaty was just another way of humiliating her, and Caitrin knew that. Then again, at least she would be out of here, and in a warm bed.

She watched as the guard handed Morgana the treaty. At least there was not a large audience for this, she preferred it this way, in the dark and damp dungeon with just her and Morgana. This was how it started, and it was how it would always be. Caitrin would always feel like she was in the dark while Morgana continued to reign; the woman had made her feel like that. The treaty looked rather long, and Caitrin furrowed her brows, “What details are there in the treaty?” She didn’t want to sign away her life, or something similar, but she wasn’t sure she even wanted to read the treaty altogether.

[mpend]

"You will be an honoured guest," replied Morgana. "But because of your previous... descrepancies, we must be careful. It is only to begin with. Then you will be released, fully." Of course Caitrin didn't know of the things that would happen before that time. And Morgana wasn't intending for her to find out any time soon, either.

The Queen's smile was prominent as Caitrin asked about the treaty. "Do you wish to read it?" she asked, though her voice held a slightly teasing edge. "It does not state anything we have not agreed to between ourselves, but if you wish to read it you may." Despite her victory, Morgana could not but help feel a little... well, sad. Is this what people were brought to when they succombed to her? She had to admit, she had been hoping for a happier Camelot. But they would be happier, she supposed, in the later years; after this first one, when she had had the chance to prove herself fully.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin stiffened up slightly. Just how long would it be until she was allowed to go home to her Uncle? She had figured that Morgana wouldn’t just let her go straight away, but she didn’t want to be around the woman for as long as she could help it. “How long will that be?” She asked quickly. Caitrin was starting to feel slightly nervous, would her torture end in the dungeons? Caitrin began to doubt she would ever have peace in this reign. She began to fumble about, and winced as the chains continued to dig into her wrists.

Caitrin figured she should probably read the treaty, and she looked at Morgana and nodded stiffly. She wanted to just get on with this, but she wanted to check there was nothing in this treaty that hadn’t been agreed. Morgana had said that there wasn’t, but she still didn’t trust the woman, “I’ll read it, and then sign.” She declared quickly and pressed her lips together. She didn’t want to do this, but what choice did she have? She could stay in here and subject herself to Morgana’s relentless torture, or she could sign this and at least have some hope of going home again. She had got herself in too deep this time, and she knew it.

[mpend]

Morgana smiled, though it was impatiently done. "When I decide," she replied, wanting to keep control over this woman - mentally as well as physically - for as long as she could. "It is my pleasure to have you here, and will stay so for a while," She chuckled softly.

She tossed the allegance agreement at the girl as she said she would read it, knowing that Caitrin would have no choice but to sign it - and even in signing it, she would not be saving anyone. Arthur would die, when Morgana found him. And anyone opposing her would have their share of pain and fear. "Read what you will," she stated, nodding to a guard, who quickly brought through a makeshift wooden table and chair, for Caitrin to sit on.

NOTE: SO sorry its so short!!

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin just looked up at Morgana wearily. Jesu, would she ever just be able to go home? Perhaps she would be able to just lock herself up in her rooms in Camelot. Maybe she would just be forgotten about, and she would be able to just fall into obscurity as Morgana found new people to toy with. “It is my pleasure that I return home sooner, rather than later.” She said with a rather dy mouth, was there any point in still trying to rebel, really? “My Uncle will be worried about me after all.”

Caitrin took up the seat with as much dignity that she could muster, and opened up the treaty. The language was all incredibly formal, and her eyes were almost blurred with lack of sleep. The gist of the treaty was that she was signing herself over to Morgana, in everything but the marital sense, and financial of course. She bit her lip, and something shifted uncomfortably within her. She never would have thought she would be signing such a document, she had thought she would rather die first. However, here she was, with a pen at her fingers. She did take a time to read the document, but she couldn’t fully concentrate on it, she was too exhausted. Pressing her eyes together, she whispered to herself, “Forgive me.” Morgana wouldn’t be able to hear her words, but she was already seeking forgiveness from her friends. She knew this was betraying Arthur, but this was where Morgana had led her, and with one quick flick of the pen, she signed the treaty.

[mpend]

"You are not in the position to make demands, Caitrin," Morgana's voice was sharp, although she was starting to tire of this argument. It had been fun, but really, how much could one argue over such a thing? "But I will allow you to write to your uncle, assuring him of your safety here, and of your pleasure at being my guest." The last bit was said with some irony; she knew Caitrin would never find pleasure being here, and she wanted to dig the knife a little closer to the heart.

She watched as Caitrin read the document, able to tell the noblewoman was not really reading; perhaps even that she could not, for by now she must be exhausted - both emotionally and physically. As soon as the treaty was signed, Morgana wisked it away from sight. "The guards will now take you to your rooms," she stated firmly.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin’s heart sank in a way, she thought in a sense that Morgana might let her at least go and visit her Uncle, to prove she was physically unharmed. However, it seemed that correspondence through letters would be the way forwards to now. It was better than nothing, and that was the only consolation Caitrin could take out of this for now. She nodded, knowing she would write to him first thing in the morning as it was already quite late in the evening. She didn’t point out to Morgana that she felt no pleasure in being the woman’s guest, as she already knew that. There was no point in stating something which was plainly obvious.

As Morgana whisked the treaty away, one of the guards stepped forwards and unlocked her chains straight away. She gasped at they dropped to the floor, and her hands went to the opposite wrist, cradling them for a few moments. They were stained with bruises and dry blood, and for a moment she winced before looking back up at Morgana as she spoke. The guards, on cue, grabbed her arms and roughly pulled her out of the dungeons, past the Queen. They were less rough once they had left the dungeons, and only proceeded to make sure she went in the right direction. Eventually, they opened the door to one of the guest chambers and allowed her to step inside before slamming the door behind her. The lock turned in the door, and once again Caitrin felt trapped. This was still a prison, and just because it wasn’t the dungeons didn’t make it so. She looked around her surroundings, the room was quite small, with a fire burning in the corner. The fires were always burning in Camelot, she supposed.

Caitrin wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself. She just carried on looking round the room, and finally made her way to the bed. She collapsed on top of it, and curled up into a ball, trying not to think about what had just happened. A million things were running though her mind at once. Yassia was still in the dungeons, and so was Lucan. She winced, she didn’t want anything to happen to any of her friends, and yet she was here in her usual accommodation under lock and key. Stretching out slightly, Caitrin shifted under the blankets and pulled them up over her small frame. She needed to sleep, that was all she needed right now. Eventually she closed her eyes, trying not to think about anything Morgana had put her through, and found thoughts shifting to her fiancée instead as she drifted off into sleep; still fully clothed.

[mpend]

It was almost night when Morgana sent for Caitrin. She had pondered how to handle her new ally - how to make her stay true, and how to make her tell her things that might help the Queen in her rule, whilst appearing to be gracious, but Caitrin was trickier than Morgana thought. Though she had once thought she knew the girl, becoming Queen made her realise she did not. She had not seen Caitrin since locking the girl up in her chambers, and was a little worried that the girl might just realise how unsure in her new power the Queen really was.

It was for this reason that Morgana had decided to make a gesture - to invite the lady to dine with her (of course, invitation was rather a loose term - Caitrin would not have a choice!) and to make things seem as they had once been. She was unsure if the tactic would work, but it was worth a try. The dining table had been laced with a simple but full meal, including wine and water should Caitrin desire it. Morgause had been fobbed off with some excuse - despite her sister's protests, Morgana did not want the blonde interfering here.

The brunette herself sat at the head of the table, trying not to remember how one it had been Uther in this seat, and her and Arthur on either side. They had been... happy. A true family, even when she had not known her blood ties to them. It had truly been that knowledge that had tipped the scales. However, it had been Uther's doing, and not Arthur's, that had been the cause for such deciet, and once again Morgana's certainty wavered. Why should Arthur pay for his father's mistakes? Why should Caitrin? Why should Yassia, or anyone else? But Morgause's words flowed through her mind, and once again Morgana held firm, as the doors opened.

"Caitrin," she greeted. "Thankyou for joining me." .

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin was starting to feel better even after a decent night’s sleep. She wasn’t sure what time she had dozed off at, but when she had opened her eyes again it had been light. She had tried to get out straight away, but the door had still been locked, and had remained so for most of the day. A servant had brought her some bits for lunch, but that was the only time the key on the outside of the door had been moved. She had found a gown in the wardrobe here, though whether it was left for her or whether some noblewoman had left it in the past was yet to be seen. Caitrin had gratefully taken it though, it was quite a simple, plain red dress, which was slightly too big for her, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. Her last dress had been ruined by the nights spent in the dungeons, so she was just grateful to have fresh clothing at the moment.

It had been late in the evening when Caitrin had finally been sent for by Morgana. In truth she had been expecting to be sent for sooner, so the woman could sit there and look smug at what she had reduced Caitrin to. A guard had been sent to fetch her, so she’d tried to look as presentable as she could before allowing herself to be led to the Great Hall. She could have made her own way there, but of course she doubted the guards would have been pleased at that suggestion.

As she made her way into the Great Hall she didn’t smile, she merely inclined her head towards Morgana; the smallest sign of respect she could think of. “My Lady.” She couldn’t bring herself to say Queen, even though she had signed the document she still couldn’t bring herself to say Queen. “I don’t believe I had much choice.” Caitrin said rather casually, as she took up her seat on Morgana’s right hand side. She still wasn’t smiling, but she didn’t look miserable either. No, it was just a neutral look. She was neither going to enjoy this, nor hate it. "Will anyone else be joining us?"

[mpend]

Though Caitrin had referred to Morgana as a 'Lady' rather than 'Queen', the brunette decided not to say anything or to be angered by it. She wanted to gain the woman's trust, after all, no send her in the arms of Arthur and his friends. She shook her head from the thought - there it was again! Why was she consistantly seeing Arthur as an enemy? Wasn't he her -- no, no. No. Arthur was none of those things. She should put the thought from mind! A sharp pang to the chest, and Morgana winced, shuddering a little before she forced herself to be calm.

"No," she agreed to Caitrin's words. "You did not." Her eyes looked the woman up and down, before she gestured to a chair near to her. "Please, sit. The dress looks well on you."

As she was asked if anyone would be joining them, once again Morgana's mind flashed to when she had once shared such times with her brother of heart, and Uther. How had things changed so much that she could not dine with either of them? Her hatred toward Uther was understandable - he had lied and decieved her, he was a hypocrite of the worst kind! But Arthur... wasn't Arthur just a victim, like she was? Really, he had been the best brother anyone could ask for. Their blood tie should have drawn them closer, not further apart! Morgana's body shuddered again in pain, and she cleared her throat, swallowing as her gaze returned once again to Caitrin. "No, we will be dining alone," she stated softly, and for the first time since her take-over, she sounded more like the Morgana of old. "I wish to... apologise." The words came out without her realising, and a cold fist clutched at her gut, squeezing her insides. The witch swallowed, struggling to keep her features neutral through the pain. "For what ... what I have put you through."

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin took up her seat as instructed, rearranging the skirts of the dress so she could sit comfortably. She found a small smile on her lips as Morgana complimented her dress. Caitrin was still quite vain, and nothing would change that really. “Thank you my Lady, it was in the room I have been placed in.” She chose her words quite carefully, nothing to outwardly provoke a reaction from Morgana. After all, she didn’t want to go back to the dungeons. She gave a small shudder, no, she never wanted to go back down there ever again.

For a few moments they just sat in silence, and Caitrin wasn’t quite sure whether that was a good thing or not. After all, she wasn’t sure what more they had to say to each other. She was certain she was only here so Morgana could gloat, and Lord the whole thing over her. To be frank, Caitrin didn’t care much for it. However, she was starving, and if this was the way of getting a good meal for now then she would comply. For now Caitrin was just surviving; that was it. “Are you quite well my Lady?” Caitrin asked as Morgana gave a short shudder; it was quite warm in the hall so she couldn’t understand why the woman would be cold.

Of course Caitrin didn’t believe Morgana was truly sorry and she just stiffly nodded at the woman. An apology wouldn’t change those nights in the dungeons, and it wouldn’t change the fact that she was still being kept under lock and key. Still, something seemed changed within Morgana, or maybe Caitrin just wanted it to be so; it was probably just wishful thinking. She cleared her throat slightly, as she took a goblet of water. “Time will tell if you are truly sorry, my Lady.” Caitrin said rather bluntly and coughed slightly. She wasn’t outwardly accusing Morgana of lying, but she wasn’t being naïve enough to just believe the woman’s words either. She had learnt the hard way that Morgana didn’t usually mean what she said. An apology would probably serve her own purpose in some sense as well. “Will I be able to write to my Uncle soon?” She asked hopefully, and bit her lip. It had been nearly a week since she had spoken to Rouland de Archer, and he would no doubt be worried about his youngest niece.

[mpend]

At Caitrin's words, Morgana's eyes shot up; surprised that the woman cared at all how she was. Shouldn't she hate her? Shouldn't she hope that Morgana was at death's door, after all the Queen had done to her? "I am quite well," she whispered, though her words were weaker than she had hoped. "Thankyou." She nodded in acceptance as the other woman stated that only time would tell if she were sorry or not - Caitrin was right, she supposed. After everything she had done.... "I should not have..." the words were getting harder to speak, Morgana's voice thickened a little as it seemed as though there were a hand clasping about her throat. "I..." but the words did not come, thus she fell silent, her heart pounding in fear.

"You may... go home," She said the words rather quickly in reply to Caitrin's question, fearing the consequences Morgause might give her for allowing such leniency, but at the same time refusing to make this woman, this innocent, pay for something she was not responsible for. "Whenever it ..." Again Morgana's voice choked, and again she had to stutter for breath. Her face was aflame; Morgause had never done this in public, so why now? Why would she cause such a thing when it might reveal whatever was going on? In truth, Morgana herself didn't even know.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin pressed her lips and looked on at Morgana. It shouldn’t matter to her really what state Morgana was in, after all, if she was at deaths door then wouldn’t that be the best scenario for everyone? However, this was a woman Caitrin had once known well at court, she had been there from the very first encounter of the Camelotian court. She had been young then, and had stuck out like a sore thumb, and now here they were. Somehow Caitrin felt more loyal to her homeland now than she ever would do to Morgana, and that was saying something. The woman didn’t sound well at all, and now she had mentioned it, Caitrin didn’t feel well either. She pressed her hand to her stomach and sighed out softly. She was being silly; there was nothing wrong with her. “Are you sure?” She asked lightly, looking towards the guards nervously. She didn’t want to be accused of harming the Queen in anyway, she had only just arrived, or had Morgana been suffering all afternoon. “You should not have, what?” She asked very carefully, and began to feel uncomfortable. Jesu, what was going on?

Wait, she could go home. A mixture of relief and confusion washed over Caitrin’s features and she bit her lip nervously. She had wanted to go home from the moment she had first arrived in the castle, but she couldn’t believe it was going to be this easy. She didn’t believe she would just be able to go home, Jesu, was Morgana being serious? She couldn’t finish her sentences, and Caitrin was starting to worry about her. Many often told Caitrin that she had a good heart, throughout all her faults, she always meant well. “Perhaps some water would help?” Caitrin asked nervously, and even as she gestured towards the goblet she could see her hand shaking. She wasn’t quite sure what was going on anymore, what had changed so that she could now just leave and go home? “Are you sure I can just… go?” The water might help Morgana’s throat, but she wanted to be certain that she could actually go home.

[mpend]

Breathe, Morgana... breathe.... breathe... Caitrin's voice was getting further and further away as the brunette struggled against breath. But as the woman asked if Morgana was sure she was alright, the brunette gave a struggled laugh. "Why do you... care?" she asked, though her voice was soft, without accusation. "I should mean nothing... to you." She shudderedin pain again, her head beginning to spin. "Please," she whispered, though she was unaware the word was said outloud. She shuddered once, twice, three times, her head feeling as though someone were hammering their way through her brain. She swallowed, trying to struggle through the pain, to answer Caitrin's question. "You... deserved better," she murmured, her hands clenching upon the table, as she struggled to breathe.

As Caitrin asked if she would like some water, Morgana managed a tiny smile; as if water would help! This was not something natural, though she knew she could never say such to Caitrin. The woman would probably think that Morgana was simply insane. Perhaps she was. "You can..." she whispered, as the woman asked if Morgana was certain she could go. "Please... before I... they... she..." The words would not come, and with a gasp the Queen attempted to stand, to gain some distance, but her legs were weak, and she fell to the floor, shuddering gently. "Please Morgause!" she choked out, barely able to breathe.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Morgana's words were completely true. Caitrin shouldn't care about Morgana, even if she were about to keel over in her own deathbed. The woman wasn't alright, anyone could see that. She was just acting oddly, and Caitrin flinched at her words. "You meant something once." She had meant something when they had been women in the court together, she had meant something when Caitrin had looked up to her as King Uther's ward, and she had meant something as a friend before this had all happened. Now there was nothing, Morgana had changed, and not for the better, and Caitrin was still the same woman she had always been.

Caitrin wasn’t sure what was going on. Was this a trick of some kind or had Morgana completely lost it? She felt incredibly nervous very quickly. She didn’t know what Morgana was capable of, so she wasn’t sure what to make of this situation. Her features softened as the Queen said she deserved better. Her heart was in her mouth, she wanted to believe Morgana’s words, she really did. Instead she just pressed her lips together and looked on at the woman, “You aren’t well my Lady, let me get help.” She hadn’t gone as far to stand up when she felt a sharp pain from her abdomen. She put her hand on it straight away, Jesu, it felt like her flux, but ten times worse.

When she looked back to the Queen, she looked pale and frail, not at all the fearsome ruler she would have everyone think she was. She stopped dead in her tracks as Morgana spoke once again, “What is it, what do you want?” she was almost pleasing with her, trying to get her to tell her what was wrong, because Caitrin was just confused and scared. As the woman fell to the ground, Caitrin rushed to her side, “Morgana?” She shouldn’t care, she should be rejoicing in this little incident but how could she? Caitrin’s hand was still at her abdomen as the pain had not subsided yet, it was getting worse by the second. “Can you hear me My Lady?”

[mpend]

"Perhaps that person.. is not worth something now," She whispered in response to Caitrin's words, and though she knew what the girl meant, though she knew she was referring to when they had been at court, and friends, Morgana felt her heart break a little. How had she come to this? How had she changed so much? It could not all be Morgause, could it? Some of what was going on had to be Morgana's choice... surely? But she would never cause harm to these people! Not Arthur, her brother of heart, not Caitrin, her friend of court! None of them deserved this!

"Please... just go," The brunette's words were little more than a whisper, and she was unsure whether Caitrin would even listen to her. Once again she wondered why this woman was caring about her; why she was attempting to help her. For Morgana had done nothing but hate this woman! Hurt her, confine her to a dungeon. The pain continued, and Morgana's eyes filled with tears, for she had tried to do everything! Everything her sister had wanted, she had done! And this... this was what was happening? All she had ever tried to do was... -- again the pain came, and Morgana cried out, stifling a sob. "For the love of Camelot," she harried out in a single breath. "Please, go,"