The Calm After the Storm? (Arthur)

[thegwaine]

Overall it hadn't been the easiest day or so for Gwaine since his arrival in Camelot. The problem was that this problem wasn't physical, or something which could be dealt with with the sword, like he was so used to. No, this was a mental issue, which made it a lot more difficult to comprehend. Gwaine had overall found the turn of events rather difficult to take in. It had gone from the excitement of the engagement to the disbelief of a fellow brother literally being raised from the dead to this...utter mess. Gwaine wasn't quite sure what to make of it all, of course the town was already alight with gossip but Gwaine wasn't paying too much attention to it. It was probably better that way. He didn't really want to hear anything which would vie in favour of either side.

Arthur was his close friend, one of his band of Knightly brothers, and of course it was quite distressing to see him in such a predicament. But on the flip side of this, Gwaine was very close to Gwen, he had flirted with her on his first trip to Camelot and since then she had become a friendly face who he could speak to.

Now Gwaine found himself on patrol with the former of the two involved in his thoughts, and Gwaine wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He kept wanting to just be like himself, and lighten the mood with the occasional jest or his usual chatter. However, it had almost seemed to lose its appeal. He was quite concerned about saying the wrong thing and just making a bad situation worse. Then again, how could this possibly get any worse?

Perhaps a bit of normality was just what Arthur needed. He ran a hand through his hair and looked across at the King, his friend. Although he knew that there was no way he could make this better, perhaps there was a hope Gwaine could at least lift his spirits or distract him for a while. "You could cut the tension in this forest in half with a sword." Gwaine opted for a joke, and let out a small chuckle. It really probably wasn't appropriate but that was how Gwaine dealt with a situation, he jested about it and hoped for the best. He now turned his attentions back to the matter at hand, which was of course the patrol, "Shall we circle around the east of the woods and turn back that way?" He was trying to sound like he knew what he was doing and failing miserably, "It'll give us time to disperse some of this," He waved his sword about in front of him rather uselessly, "Tension." It was the most non direct way Gwaine could think of to ask Arthur if he was alright, but it was also the least awkward way he could think of.

Timeline: After episode 9
Tags: Arthur Pendragon
Time of Day: Afternoon
Location: On Patrol in the Woods

[Arthur Pendragon]

This was what Arthur had needed. He needed to get on with his day, rather than wallow in pity over recent events. He knew he would never move on from it, but Camelot needed a king who could rule. Not one who . . . dwelled on the woman he lost. Arthur missed her, but knew it could never be. This time, the reasons that kept them apart were not his father; no the traditions of the land; not rank. It was her affection for another man. Arthur had known about Lancelot, but he had also thought that with all those times that Guinevère said that she loved him . . . he believed her. He knew that Lancelot had been a man of her past, but she had assured him so many times that he was not the man of her future. Even prior to his death. Lancelot had been a brother to Arthur, to all of them . . . yet he could not excuse his betrayal. Despite the honor in his death. He had claimed another man's fiance. His fiance. And he could not let himself forget that. Then again, this was not something easily forgotten. Gwaine's words broke the silence.

In some ways, Arthur was glad for Gwaine's company. In other ways, he dreaded it. He had been made a fool of, and it was particularly difficult to be in the company of his brothers who he knows held a close relationship with Guinevère. He had found out about Gwaine and Guinevère's relationship when he'd felt a flicker of jealousy seeing the way they'd conversed in the courtyard. But now, he just felt odd around him. He knew he had made the right choice by banishing her . . . but he could not help but uncomfortable around those who were close to her too. He was aware that Gwaine was trying to lighten the mood some, and he had no words of jest nor a smile to return to him. "Does the tension have something to do with your sobriety?" He asked. He tried to give a tease, but knew it had come out far more serious than he had intended. He was trying to joke in return, but Arthur knew that he may never recover over the loss of the woman he loved.

[thegwaine]

This was going to be quite a long patrol, and Gwaine was determined to get back some normality. Although it was still early days, there had to be some way of dragging Arthur from the kind of shell he was creating around himself. Gwaine wasn't a useful kind of person to help others deal with grief. He had suffered very little grief in his life, excepting the death of his father, so he couldn't even relate to Arthur's grief. He had never let himself get close enough to a woman to even consider a broken heart a possibility. This was the second time Gwaine had been in an awkward situation with a man who had had his heart broken, and he was probably going to be as much use now as he had been then. Well this was different, because Gwaine felt more involved in this situation. Gwen had been a dear friend to him, she had even fed him on one occasion, and things like that were key to Gwaine's friendship. She had been a special friend, and now to be confronted with what she had done, and what it had led Arthur to do, it left him feeling conflicted.

He wasn't angry at Arthur for banishing Gwen. Under the circumstances Gwaine would have had no idea what to do, so he couldn't judge could he? Plus, he had heard the tavern gossip, that Gwen should have been executed for such an offence. Even the thought of it made Gwaine sick. It usually took quite a lot to turn his stomach but even the thought of Gwen being punished in such a way struck him sick straight away.

Gwaine shrugged but chuckled all the same at Arthur's words, despite the lack of jest in his words. "I think its just another thing to add to the list of reasons why I don't enjoy being sober." Of course he jested, well, that was how Gwaine spent most of his life wasn't it? Making jests and what not. In truth he hadn't been to the taven in quite a while. He hadn't gone during the jousting tournament because if he had then he probably wouldn't have lived to regret it. "In fact I think I've been sober for so long, I may have forgotten the way to the tavern." It was all a bit of a ploy to get Arthur to think about anything else than the last few days. Gwaine's drinking habits was usually a source of amusement amongst others so surely this was the route to take?

[Arthur Pendragon]

If there was one thing Gwaine was known for it certainly was not for being sober. At the same time, Arthur knew he would carry out his duties as a knight diligently and without any risk of being drunk. Which would of course affect his senses and capability. So long as Gwaine was not drunk on the job, he did not fuss over where he spent his spare time. He only believed that Gwaine's frequent visits to the tavern was influencing Merlin's growing frequency in the tavern. Even having disappeared for two days once. "You talk of being sober as if it is a bad anything." He encouraged this conversation because it was safe. Because he was trying to avoid it to leading to anything else . . . anything more, related to the subject that was leaving him broken and shattered. "Perhaps you should try to embrace it. It could do wonders." His tone was not filled with jest, though it was implied in his words.

He was just having a difficult time finding humor in anything. Which was why he was patrolling. He could not meet with council tonight. He was too, emotional. And the last thing he wanted to hear was an 'I told you so' from Agravaine, or reasons as to why King's did not marry non-nobility. Guinevère's actions did not make Arthur loved her less, even if she did not love him as much as she claimed she had. But he did not feel like defending her to others. He had made his choice to send her off, and he wanted that to be the end of it. Though, he knew it never would be. That it would take a lot for the kingdom to recover from this. That, it would never be something Arthur healed from. And he truly feared a future without the woman he loved; without his Guinevère.

[thegwaine]

To Gwaine,being sober was an incredibly bad thing. Some of the best nights of his life had been had whilst being drunk, and the only issue he had with being a Knight was that he had to remain sober sometimes for days at a time. After all, what use would he be in defending the Kingdom if he was hungover? Probably very little, but then again Gwaine had been in tavern brawls where he had been half cut and he usually came out the best. However he wasn't prepared to risk it in his knightly robes. It would hardly be the done thing would it?


He grinned across at Arthur and shrugged. "Embrace my inner sobriety?" The words mulled across his mouth and he found himself giving a short chuckle. "I think I love the ale too much to consider that." That was incredibly true, ale was the food source of Gwaine's life. His new life as a Knight had not changed his attitudes towards drink, it had just reigned it in a bit.

Of course this all felt like Gwaine was dancing on egg shells, or so to speak. He was so afraid of speaking the wrong thing that he was almost not composed around Arthur for one of the first times. He had never really been in this sort of situation with a fellow knight before. Arthur wasn't really opening up to him at all and he wanted to fee at ease with his friend once more. Perhaps this tension was all in Gwaine's head, but it was something that could hardly be faked with ease. "You alright?" Was about as much as Gwaine could manage, it wasn't easy having these sort of man to man chats, and this wasn't the easiest of topics.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur wasn't too surprised to hear that. Nor could he express the amusement. He knew Gwaine was trying to lighten the mood, trying to keep everything uplifted. And Arthur appreciated it. Even if he was incapable of expressing it right now. With everything that had happened this past year and a half, he wondered whether there would be any joy left to find. Or if this was how it would be. A continuous trail of losing loved ones. He wouldn't be surprised if Merlin or Agravaine would be next. "And here I thought your first love was women." Arthur barley thought about the words until they escaped his lips. Love. Women. He could not live like this. He could not find a link to Guinevère in everything he said and did. It was inevitable really, but he could not react to it. He felt his body slightly stiffen from the words he said, but showed no other reaction to it.

He was king. He needed to focus on that, rather than lament on all the losses of the past. Even the recent past. "You alright?" Another question that Arthur could not delve into. He would have to give a simple response. One that would not make him talk about what was truly in his heart. He could not afford to show that weakness. Not when everyone expected him to be a strong king. Only this time, a strong king without a strong queen by his side. "I'm fine," he said, void of emotion . . . coming out more formal than usual. Without looking at Gwaine, he returned the question. "And you?" It was one of genuine curiosity and, concern. He knew that Gwaine was friends with Guinevère; that she considered him a brother at heart if not blood. He knew that her banishment was not easy on any of them. Yet, Arthur could not regret his decision.

[thegwaine]

Usually Gwaine's jests went down a treat, but obviously the mood at the moment was affecting Arthur's sense of humour. He would probably regret such a missed opportunity to mock Gwaine when he was in a better frame of mind. However, Arthur's lack of humour was of course understandable, but that didn't mean that Gwaine couldn't strive to change it. "Alcohol and women go hand in hand, therefore one love compliments the other." He grinned and put a hand through his hair, taking a moment to take in their surroundings. He was feeling incredibly alert today, but that was probably down to the lack of alcohol. It wasn't a completely awful feeling, but of course, as ever, he would have preferred to be in the tavern.

Fine? Well at least Arthur had not ignored his question completely, but it still wasn't encouraging. He knew Arthur was anything but. How could any man go through what he had and still say he was fine? However Gwaine didn't feel incredibly comfortable about speaking of feelings, so he wouldn't press Arthur any further. "Me? I'm fine." He gave his signature grin, "Why wouldn't I be?" He felt incredibly hypocritical now as he too was concealing his feelings. In truth he wasn't quite sure of what to think about the whole event. He had always been close to Arthur and Gwen, but now he felt rather in the middle of it all. Of course he couldn't express the fact that he was concerned about Gwen, and where she would go to now, to Arthur. So Gwaine just smiled, because that was all he could think of doing and looked ahead. "Well at least its a nice day for patrol."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Gwaine continued to provide humorous remarks and even if Arthur did not do a good job of showing it, he appreciated it. He appreciated the distraction and as everyone seemed to understand how upsetting recent events were. Even Elyan, her own brother, had not spoken out against Arthur's decision. Part of Arthur had thought he would leave with her -- as Arthur had once planned to leave with Guinevère when his father banished her about two years ago -- but he had not. He had chosen to stay. He had not brought up the subject with Arthur, and Arthur would not bring it up with him. It was still too painful and upsetting to speak about. Especially when trying to justify his decision. Everyone seemed to understand his decision. If they didn't, he knew his men were honest enough to speak against it; to defend a friend like Guinevère. But they had all watched silently . . . which was also part of why Arthur wondered if any of them resented him for his choice. "Will you never settle down," Arthur asked a bit rhetorically. Not even sure if he was talking about 'settling down with a woman' or 'settling down without his alcohol'.

Either way, he left the question open to his own interpretation, knowing that he had to give some sort of response to it. Otherwise, a horribly awkward silence was linger. Then again . . . it was Gwaine. Awkward silences never seemed to linger with him. He would fill it, even if it was just rambling to himself. "Me? I'm fine." Arthur looked at him, masking his skepticism at his answer. His answer that was similar to Arthur's. It seemed that both men knew that the other was lying. "Why wouldn't I be?" Now that . . . was something that Arthur did not want to answer. He had asked to see how he felt about what happened with Guinevère. Not with the hopes of Arthur changing his mind. Only because he knew that Gwaine and Guinevère were close. He just gave a slight shrug of his shoulders, unsure how to specify the specific reasons for his question. Perhaps part of Arthur didn't even want to know the specifics of how he felt about the whole, situation. Neither men were the kind to delve into deep conversations about their feelings . . . at least not with each other. "Well at least its a nice day for patrol." Another diversion. Good.

"Indeed," he answered, trying to keep up this topic. They had resorted talking about the weather . . . lovely. "We will have to do a proper survey of the land soon," Arthur began to explain. More than just the short distances pairs of them would patrol. "It will require everyone," he added. By 'everyone' he was of course referring to their small band of knights: Gwaine, Elyan, Percival and Leon. These were the men that Arthur tended to bring with him anywhere and everywhere he went. While Leon was a long term friend that Arthur had known all his life, he felt that the others had just as easily become his brothers. Finding them the most honorable of all his knights; men he trusted and had unwavering loyalty, as well as tremendous skill. Arthur's mind inevitably went to Lancelot . . . and how he had been one of these men, yet Arthur had nearly killed him for his actions. And would have, had Guinevère not intervened. Perhaps that was another reason Arthur had asked Gwaine how he was; how he felt about losing a brother . . . again. Though this time, it seemed to be the final time. Lancelot would not return.

[thegwaine]

Settling down wasn’t a word which often featured in Gwaine’s personal vocabulary. It had never really occurred to him. Even as a young boy, the idea of settling down with a wife, a nice fancy house somewhere in the country and a child had never appealed to him. He would like to think that settling down would appeal to him eventually, but his life changed so quickly that he never really looked beyond the next day. Now that he was a knight, and he was at the most secure and stable point in his life he had been in since he had left home all those years ago. Perhaps this would lead him to settle down eventually, but Gwaine suspected that he would need the right woman to tempt him into such a lifestyle. He wasn’t a typical sort of husband. Although he couldn’t really discuss any of this with Arthur at the moment. After all, Arthur should have been celebrating today with his new bride, rather than spending the time out on patrol with him. “Eventually, but there’s too much to get through yet to warrant settling down.” He winked at his friend as they continued walking through the forest. Gwaine wasn’t particularly worried about finding a woman to settle down with, it wasn’t on his list of priorities at the moment.

The realisation of what Gwen had done, and that Arthur had sent her away, was still sitting uncomfortably in Gwaine’s mind. It had all been over so quickly. There hadn’t been anyone in Camelot who hadn’t doubted that the wedding would have gone ahead, well, until the night before the wedding that was. Gwaine had been close to both Arthur and Gwen, and though his loyalty to Arthur had not wavered because of what had come to pass, he still felt sorry for Gwen. After all, he hadn’t even had chance to say goodbye to her. That was what probably sat with him the most. Throughout Gwaine’s life he hadn’t said goodbye to many people he had come across, but Gwen was something different; she had been such a close friend, and now to have her ripped out of his life so quickly, well, he just felt useless.

The weather was probably a sign this conversation was desperately dodging around a topic neither of them wanted to talk about. Gwaine didn’t really want to speak about Gwen in front of Arthur because he wanted to remain neutral in this sort of situation. That being said, he probably felt worse for Gwen, after all, she had no one now and was out by herself. At least Arthur had friendly faces around him. “What a day that will be.” Gwaine chuckled, but it was slightly hollow, after all no survey of the land could include everyone. Lancelot would never join their brothers ever again. Gwaine didn’t voice this of course, it wasn’t him really and if Arthur wanted to say something then he would. Wouldn’t he? Jesu why was this so hard? Gwaine was coming to realise that with anything that wasn’t to do with women or drink, he was actually an emotional cripple with. “If our training sessions are anything to go by, surveying the land will be...eventful.” The knights were a rather hodgepodge band of brothers, and whenever they were all together something unconventional happened, and this would be no exception.