Drowning Your Sorrows (Griff)

[thegwaine]

Gwaine's feet were killing him, well, that was the trouble of a wandering lifestyle, your feet always hurt at the end of the day. He'd had slave traders on his trail for the past few days so he'd been covering as much distance as he could. Of course he could probably take the idiots who thought he would be worth a bit on the slave market, but in truth he'd rather not take his chances with that theory.

Now however he had found a tavern, which was a rather characteristic move on his part. Well, everyone had to stop for ale he supposed. He could always continue later when he had ale and food in his belly; they wouldn't be expecting him to travel by night anyway. He hadn't had the pleasure of going into this particular tavern before, and he had certainly sampled from quite a few in the area. At least he knew there wasn't anyone in here that he owed a debt to, or who wanted to beat seven bells out of him. Both of those things would defiantly ruin his day.

Opening the door to the tavern, Gwaine was quite disappointed to see that it wasn't incredibly crowded. Well this wasn't exactly a party atmosphere was it? Pressing his lips together he wondered whether he should just go onto the next tavern. Gwaine always preferred a more lively atmosphere, it was always easier to slip into obscurity in a loud and noisy tavern. However, the temptation of a cold ale at the back of his throat, and the prospect of setting his feet down for an hour or two really swung him in favour of staying just where he was, for at least one ale anyway.

Approaching the bar, he was faced with a large brutish sort of man who asked what he wanted. What else would Gwaine want but an ale of course? He enlightened the man and handed over a few coins and was handed a tankard of ale. He grinned and took a swig quickly, only then realising just how thirsty he was. He had been a bit too busy to stop for lunch, but he would get something here probably. He looked around him, great, there weren't even any pretty women in this tavern. Why was he here again? He took his ale and set himself down on the nearest table, which at present only had one occupant; a rather sorry looking man if he was putting it nicely. Gwaine, in his usual over confident way, clapped the man on the back and grinned, "Cheer up, it might never happen."

Timeline: A week before the Coming of Arthur
Location: A tavern north of Camelot
Tags: Griflet Aubert
Time of Day: Late afternoon/early evening

[Griff Aubert]

Griff Aubert's forehead was beginning to ache. It could be because it had been pressed against a hard wooden table for quite some time. Or it could be because he'd started drinking about two months ago. Either way, it hurt and wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

He was wallowing. It was something he was becoming quite good at, actually, ever since leaving Camelot and leaving Caitrin. He winced, not wanting to dwell on thoughts of her any longer, but finding such a thing completely impossible. She was everywhere, and his life now served as a constant reminder of just how fantastically he had ruined everything, or rather how Lucan had ruined everything.

Before he could go into another monologue about his brother ruining his life he felt a hand on his back. He turned his head to find a man grinning down at him. This was just what he needed right now. "I think," he began, pulling himself into an upright position, "I think you might be right."

[thegwaine]

As the man raised himself to face Gwaine full on he got a strong smell of ale almost radiating off the man. God, how long had he been in here exactly? He was far too young to make himself the tavern drunk. Gwaine had often thought that profession would suit himself when he was a lot older and less able to fend for himself. He could stand a happy retirement of ale and barmaids...

Anyway, back to the matter in hand, which was his new acquaintance, if he could even call him that yet. Gwaine raised an eye brow, the man just looked... rough. There was no nice way he could say it, he just looked like he hadn't bothered about his appareance for a while, well from Gwaine's guess anyway. Taking a swig of ale he pressed his lips together, and was quite suprised the man could answer him so fluently. "About what? It never happening or you cheering up?" He jested lightly, he would test the water before teasing and jesting with this man. Gwaine had learnt the consequences of teasing the resident drunk in the past; that black eye had lasted for weeks... "Because you defiantly need to cheer up, you're putting me off my ale."

Looking back at the man, he couldn't help feel slight concern. A young man should never let himself get into this sort of a state, at least not this early in the day."You look rough." Gwaine pointed out rather crudely. Well, there was no harm in saying what the man probably already knew. Gwaine always prided himself on his appearance, and couldn't ever imagine anything, even alcohol, changing his mind about that.

[Griff Aubert]

Griff didn't particularly want to talk to the man, but he showed no signs of leaving so it seemed Griff was just going to accept the iminent conversation. He was not going to be the best company in the world, but he was at least going to try to be civil, after all, Griff's current state of mind was no fault of this stranger's.

"It not happening." He replied simply and leant back against his chair. He couldn't really hold himself up right now, which, although not being a good thing, was not his primary concern. At the moment he was far too concerned with finding himself another drink - and, in an ideal world, another woman; one who was not stubborn or frustrating or fantastic and definitely lacking in red hair.

He ran a hand over his face, slowly and using more energy than he wanted, but managing a weak smile at the man's comment. "Yes, I know." He hated feeling so tired, without an energy or motivation to be anything else. When he had first left Camelot he was going to start a new life. Everything was going to be bright and loud and fast. It was almost funny to see him now, living out his days in taverns of all varieties, getting by purely on his worn out charm and unkept looks; just like the old days, only without the thrill.

"I'm sorry," he looked at the man and sighed, "I'm not being very...er...friendly, that's the word, yes? Friendly...am I?" He paused, what had he been saying? Oh yes. "My name's Griff, and you are?"

[thegwaine]

Well Gwaine hadn't been punched in the face so far, this was probably gearing up to be one of his more sucessful tavern conversations at best. At worst, the man hardly looked able to throw a punch, or even get off the chair, so Gwaine was quite certain he would suffer no harm from him. Or at least that was the plan. He raised an eye brow at the man as he confirmed that it wasn't happening. Well well, a tavern drunk with a story to tell. Well, they all had stories to tell didn't they? But some were more interesting than others.

Noticing that the man didn't have a drink, which was a crime if he was trying for some sort of resident drunk, Gwaine shouted over to the barman to bring him another ale. Feeding this mans apparent alcoholism probably wasn't wise in the long term, but Gwaine felt a bit rude drinking by himself, it made him look like some sort of drunkard. "What isn't?" He asked rather bluntly, but there was no point in beating around the bush really, and whatever it was had clearly caused some of this. Or perhaps the man was just a drunk and Gwaine was wasting his time, and his ale money, oh well, at least he would be sure of company for an hour or so this afternoon.

Well at least the man knew he looked bloody awful. Gwaine let out a small chuckle and nodded at the man, pointing to him with his ale. "What you need my friend is one of these fancy bathhouses, they would set you right." Of course everyone knew about these bath houses, and why men only visited them, and usually it was young men who went to them to taste the variety they could find there. Gwaine had only visited one once, when he was a lot younger and more naive, but no, he preferred his women to be charmed rather than already falling at his feet.

The bar man finally set the second ale down on the table, and Gwaine pushed it towards the man, who had just introduced himself. "First ones on the house." He grinned and took a swig of his own ale before extending his hand, so he wasn't a noble, or at least he hadn't introduced himself as such, that was always a good thing in Gwaine's books. "The names Gwaine." He looked back at Griff and wondered again if this man had anything interesting about him, it would certainly pass the time if he did. "Are you from around here?"

[Griff Aubert]

Urgh, why was the man so interested in his life? Griff doubted very much that this new acquaintance actually cared, so he was just being intrusive for the sake of it. Well Griff didn't much care for that. It was hard enough living with what he'd done, he didn't need to tell everyone he met just what a complete arse he was.

Irritatingly, the man seemed to be incredibly interested and not about to let Griff get away with a half-mumbled "It's complicated." Still, the man did seem like he was well travelled, so maybe he could explain without actually explaining. He may as well try and save himself having to say any more. "There's a woman, of course." His words were said rather cynically, but then he was wallowing in his own misery so a little cynicism was more than allowed.

It seemed no matter where he went, or what he did, or, frustratingly, who he spoke to, Caitrin was always in his thoughts. She'd always been there, of course, ever since they're first meeting, but now it just hurt. He was well aware of the fact that she hated him, and rightly so. And he was also well aware of the fact that he was being a coward again by wishing he could just forget about everything and save himself from all of this.

Since leaving Camelot he'd been reduced to nothing, or rather since leaving Caitrin, as she'd been the one who made him something. It hurt to think about her, it hurt to not think about her, Jesu, it just hurt. He was a mess, and no amount of drinking was going to stop that, but he was soldiering on anyway simply because he didn't know what else to do.

"What you need my friend is one of these fancy bath houses, they would set you right."

He forced a small laugh to match the man's. That was quite possibly the last thing he needed. For starters, he wasn't sure if he could stand up, so he wasn't going to be much use in a bath house. And even if he could, that was hardly going to make him feel better - something he had learnt from experience. No, it just made everything worse. So he drank more, and charmed more girls and ended up feeling worse and worse and eventually he wouldn't be able to do anything anymore. He'd be old and tired and miserable and he wouldn't care, he'd just end. "I can't say I agree. Besides," a small grin formed on his lips, a shadow of what it once was, "that would involve paying."

Ah, another drink, that was going to make him feel better. Or make him think less, which was practically the same thing nowadays. "Thanks." He said and took a swig, the taste of ale was one that hardly left his mouth, and even though it could only have been an hour or so since his last drink it felt like an age.

He shook his head in response to Gwaine's question. "No, I'm from Gl-Glouch...Glouchedon." That had always been a mouthful, even without alcohol. "I'm just...wandering now."

[thegwaine]

Gwaine wasn’t a judgemental person, no, he had done too much in his life and he’d seen too much to know that he was not at liberty to judge others, well apart from nobles, but they deserved to be judged. Therefore his interest in Griff’s story was purely born out of Gwaine’s boredom, as he was easily distracted. Tavern drunks often had an interesting story to part with, and sometimes you could learn from their experience, or at least that was what Gwaine had found on his travels. Or if not, you could usually persuade them to buy you a drink or two by the end of the evening, so either way it was a win win situation.

Although he didn’t mean to, he let out a loud chuckle and pressed his lips together into a grin. He hoped Griff wouldn’t see it as a cruel laugh because it was anything but. “Isn’t there always a woman involved?” There usually was with depressed men in taverns, Gwaine had seen enough of it over the years to know that not abandoning his charming ways and becoming a romantic would be the completely wrong thing to do. Heh, Gwaine had not had Griff down as a romantic sort of person, or maybe he wasn’t and that was what the problem was. Of course Gwaine was quite an experienced traveller, although Griff didn’t know that, and he had listened to men drowning their sorrows over an ale or two much too often. “So come on then, what did this one do? Because honestly I’ve heard it all, did she perhaps run off and marry someone else? Perhaps fell out of love with you? Ran away with your brother?” Gwaine chuckled to himself and raised his hands professing innocence at Griff, “All true stories, but not mine of course.” That probably wouldn’t make him feel any better, oh well, Gwaine was confident in his abilities to dodge anything that Griff could throw at him.

Well at least the man had a sense of humour, which was defiantly a good thing, seeing as from his appearance Gwaine had the man down as some sort of depressed sort of man. Gwaine chuckled and nodded as he took another swig of his ale, nodding at Griff’s little jest. “That is very true.” He hadn’t really thought about that, then again like he had already pointed out, Gwaine was not one for those sorts of things. The cost was just another thing that put him off them. “And half of them aren’t worth the coin anyway.” He shrugged and sunk his lips into his ale once more, god this was what he had been missing really. An ale after a days walking and dodging various peoples was the best sort of reward.

Glouchedon? Gwaine nodded, he had probably passed through it at some point but as he had been wandering for so long, place names often escaped him. “I think that I have been there at some point.” He shrugged again, he couldn’t be sure whether he had or not. As he heard that the man was wandering he pressed his lips together, he didn’t exactly seem like a likely nomad. Then again, he must have a sort of depressing past which had brought him here, which was the case with most nomads. “Ah well that makes two of us then. I’ve spent most of my life wandering.” He didn’t really elaborate, he had no interest in telling his life history to every passing drunk in the tavern, he was much too guarded for that. “How long have you been on the road for?”

[Griff Aubert]

Oh, wonderful. Gwaine was laughing at him, that was making him feel better. It was always nice to know that in times of woe there was always someone ready to laugh at your misery. He didn't reply to his comment, firstly because it seemed more rhetorical than anything, and secondly because he was too annoyed at being laughed at. Griff had been quite happy wallowing by himself, he didn't ask for company, and if this is what he was going to get then he'd rather be alone.

Obviously that wasn't an option. It seemed he had no choice but to tell Gwaine what had happened - or make up some elaborate lie that would keep the man quiet, though he doubted his ability and anyway that was far too much effort for him right now. He sighed, and stared up at the ceiling. It was simple really. He'd lied to a girl, fallen in love, been revealed and had his heartbroken.

After a long pause he eventually turned to Gwaine and said, "She was informed that I was only interested in her money." After a shorter pause he added, "Not unreliably." That wasn't the whole story, of course, but it was enough for now. Gwaine didn't need to know that he'd been as good as disowned by his father, or that his own brother had told Caitrin of his motives. None of it really mattered now anyway, that was all just memories from his previous life.

“How long have you been on the road for?”

A change of topic was more than welcomed by the young man. Thinking of Caitrin just hurt, and while thinking of home hurt too it wasn't nearly as much. He'd learnt to put that all behind him a long time ago, if only he could do the same for his time in Camelot. It was the coward's way out, he was well aware of that, but he'd never tried to be brave. He just wanted to forget everything and stop caring and just stop hurting and wishing everything was different. He ran a hand across his face, and tried to ignore everything other than Gwaine's question. "About two months now? Something like that. I lost track, not that it matters."

[thegwaine]

Gwaine suppressed showing any real reaction initially to Griff’s words, as if money was involved then surely it would be a noblewoman who he was interested in. By default that would make him a noble too, though Jesu he didn’t look like one. He stiffened slightly, many knew of Gwaine’s view’s of nobles, and he had half a mind to get up and leave him to his troubles. Money and self interest were always at the heart of nobles interests, and clearly this pair were no different. He however did not get angered, or even show any real emotion because he honestly couldn’t care less. However, it was curious because if he had just been interested in her money shouldn’t he have already tried to find another woman to fill the same gap by now?

Gwaine was not completely heartless, even when rank and positions were brought into the equation. This man wouldn’t last another week the way he was pursuing his rather self destructive path. He looked on at him in an almost sympathetic way. God he would kill Arthur when he saw him, was he, Gwaine himself going soft? Bloody nobles. “I take it her money wasn’t all you were interested in?” He then found himself asking, but only because his wording almost begged the question. There was clearly something else, Gwaine wasn’t as romantic to say it was love or something like that. That just wasn’t really him. “Is she the reason your-“ He waved his arm in Griff’s general direction, “In this much of a mess?” If she was, was the woman in question really worth it? Griff had told him he had been on the road for 2 months, and clearly matters had not improved. Then again relationships were a two way thing, even the most basic of them.

Taking in another swig of ale, Gwaine looked back to Griff and wasn’t quite sure what to say. “You don’t look like your cut for the nomad life lad.” He then said, with a soft chuckle just in case Griff took his words a bit too seriously. If he was a noble shouldn’t he have lands, people running after him all day long and a string of suitors? No, that kind of a man could never really adapt to the nomad lifestyle, not in the way that Gwaine had anyway. “Anyway you need to watch yourself, there are slavers in the area.” He could offer him a bit of advice, it was safer to stay in taverns or in plain sight of people than off on your own nowadays. In the state Griff was in, well to put it bluntly, the man didn’t stand a chance out there in Gwaine’s opinion.

Notes: Writing bits of that actually broke my heart

[Griff Aubert]

Griff gave a small, laboured chuckle, which ended up being nothing like a chuckle, and more than an odd wheeze. Of course it wasn't just her money he had been interested in. It might have started out that way, when he had first met her he had cared about nothing but improving his own life and saw her as a way to do that. But then he'd gone and fallen in love with her. What a mistake that had been. "I don't care about her money. I just..." he sighed, he missed her so much, too much. He'd never missed anyone before, he'd never cared about anyone enough. It just so happened to first woman he really loved had to go and hate him. This was why he'd always tried to protect himself. He just knew something like this was going to happen. "I just want to see her again," he bit his lip and swallowed hard. "But she hates me so..." he gave a nonchalant shrug, falling back on pretending he didn't care, when it was quite obvious that the opposite was true. "And yes, she's the reason for...this."

Gwaine was right, he wasn't cut for a nomad life at all. He'd never left Glouchedon until he had to. He didn't know what he was doing, or where he was going, it was actually a surprise he'd managed to survive this far. Maybe it was his punishment, surviving just to suffer. He certainly deserved as much.

Although he didn't show it, he did apprecaite Gwaine's words. Not many men would be quite so sympathetic, although he found himself not caring much for his advice. He was fully certain that nothing could be as bad as his life now, not even slavers. Besides, he could hardly sit up, would he really be worth a slavers hassle? "I'm not sure I'm worth that," he replied, voicing his thoughts. "Can't quite sit up...let alone...slave..." That wasn't the right word, but his head hurt and he didn't care. Gwaine would no what he meant. "Anyway," he forced himself to try and think positively, that could be acheived by changing the subject. "What brings you here?"

[thegwaine]

Gwaine didn’t particularly want to feel sorry for Griff now he knew of his noble status, but the man was making it incredibly hard to see the situation that objectively. He listened to him quietly, and just considered what he had to say. A nobleman who wasn’t interested in money? Well, Gwaine came across many firsts when he was on the road, but a nobleman who wanted a woman for herself, and not her money? That was becoming a rarity nowadays. Back in his homeland, Gwaine had seen many men and women married off in loveless marriages for their families advancements. This seemed like something different. “She might not hate you?” He suggested, shrugging. Women always said one thing when they meant another, every the fool in the foregate knew that. “Have you tried to go back?” That was of course the next important question, if the man had not even tried then he deserved little sympathy. You never got anywhere in this life without trying, and relationships were just one example of this. “Why not go back to Glouchedon [Jesu that was a mouthful to say after an ale] and tell her how you feel. If she won’t listen then, well.” He shrugged again and trailed off. He wasn’t going to be the one to directly say that if this woman didn’t listen to how genuine his feelings appeared to be then she really wasn’t worth it. Griff could figure that out himself.

If anything Griff really needed to see this woman, or get over her because the alternative wasn’t doing him any favours. He wouldn’t last another two months out here in the state he was currently in; had he ever heard of a bath thinking about it?! Even Gwaine kept himself prim and proper whilst out on the road.

He laughed as Griff explained why Gwaine’s worries were misplaced. That was true, a slaver would probably look at him and cut his losses. He shrugged and took another swig of his ale, “You never know, you could be worth a bit once you’ve sobered up.” He chuckled again, taking yet another drink. Well this evening was turning out to be better than he’d hoped, and he hadn’t got into a brawl yet; this was certainly promising.

At Griff’s question he just smiled for a moment, well it was only fair to grace him with an answer; Griff had told him enough about himself after all. Who was Gwaine to deny Griff tales of his nomadic lifestyle? “I’m just passing through.” He explained, “I’ve not been round this way in a while, I’ve been spending most of my time in Albion.” Well that overall had been an adventure and a half, his time in Camelot defiantly still brought about a smile to his face, “I’ve been to oh, Mercia, the Northern Lands, Gawant and Camelot.” He felt like he was bragging now, but he’d probably been further in a few weeks than Griff would ever hope to. “I usually just sample the local night life.” He grinned and gestured to his ale, which was always his motivation and kept him going on the road. Well that, and the promise of a tavern meal.

[Griff Aubert]

Surely Gwaine could see that Griff was in a far too self-pitying mood for a decent conversation? He'd spent the last two months wallowing and trying to drown his sorrows and forget everything, and, although that had been horrendously unachieved it was still a life goal for him. He had nothing else to do. He loved Caitrin, more than he had ever loved anyone, more than he could describe or even comprehend. Now she was gone, and he just wanted everything to stop reminding him of her. She'd no doubt moved on with her life, and yet here he was, a shadow of his former self.

Gwaine's words almost brought a laugh to Griff's lips. She might not hate him...somehow he didn't think that was likely. Their last meeting had left him in no doubt that he was probably the last person in the world she would ever consider spending her life with. For him, she was always the first. "I'm fairly certain she does." He replied, trying not to relive their last conversation. He hadn't gone back, there was a hardly a point of doing so. He'd go back and see her smiling and laughing and just living in that beautiful way that she did. And he'd pretend he was happy for her, happy that she was happy and had moved on. But it would all be a lie. He would be selfish and want her to only be happy with him.

While part of him was grateful for Gwaine's company, it was purely to stop him from being alone. He would much rather simply sit in silence, or at least not discuss Caitrin. He hadn't talked about it to anyone - apart from Luc, but that hadn't exactly been talking. Gwaine was obviously only trying to help, but he was doing the exact opposite. He had told her how he felt. He'd told her everything and when that didn't work he'd done what he always did. He'd run away. "I don't think I'll be going back. Not to Glouchedon, but that's another story. Caitrin's in Camelot. Won't be going there either." In just over a year he'd managed to lose both of his homes, it was obviously a talent of his. So now he was going to keep his head down and not make anywhere home and not care about anyone but himself, that way he wouldn't lose anything again.

Thankfully the conversation had turned, and whilst it wasn't exactly a happy topic it was a more welcomed one. He could not think about Caitrin for a while, but that didn't stop his self-pity. Gwaine's words reminded him of a conversation he'd once had with his brother - his first conversation since finding him. He'd been trying to tell Luc that he couldn't do anything, but his brother wouldn't believe him. Well, he'd certainly proved himself correct, hadn't he?

"I'm not planning on sobering up." Griff said with a laboured smile. Life was hard enough with the help of alcohol. And even if he was sober he was never any use to anyone but himself, he wasn't even that anymore.

Gwaine certainly seemed well travelled. Presumably then he was used to the drunk in the corner, maybe that was why he was trying to help. He smiled as his companion spoke of his life. There was a time when Griff would have been similar to Gwaine. He could tell he was quite the charmer, and was fully aware what he meant by "sampling the local night life." Maybe Griff would have been better off if he had just stayed like that. He would not have found Caitrin, he would not have fallen in love, but he would not have had his heart broken either. "I used to be like that." Griff replied. He hardly looked like the sort now though. "You're better off like that."

[thegwaine]

Gwaine began to wonder if this tavern did food, from the looks of it they didn’t. Great; that meant he would have to move on before nightfall or face another hungry night. One thing Gwaine did not do was go hungry; he loved food far too much to even think about the possibility of going without it. Sometimes living on the road had its disadvantages, and never knowing where the next meal was coming from was one of them.

Gwaine hadn’t been expecting Griff to laugh at his words. That was a bit rude really wasn’t it? Gwaine shrugged, to be honest it didn’t affect him in the slightest if Griff thought this woman of his hated him. Gwaine felt slightly uncomfortable with the state Griff was in at the moment, but he wasn’t going to sit here and preach to the deaf in short. It would only waste valuable ale time anyway. Groaning slightly as he stretched, Gwaine looked back to Griff. “If you say so.” He said in a matter of fact sort of way. He didn’t know the woman, Jesu he’d only just met Griff, so he couldn’t really comment further than what Griff was prepared to tell him. Even then it was a one sided view at best. He took another swig of his ale and pressed his lips together. He wondered why Griff hadn’t just bloody well moved on. After all, it had been two months. “But how do you know?” It probably wasn’t the best thing to ask, but if Gwaine could do anything he could hopefully motivate this man to do something with his life instead of wasting it in the same tavern. He clearly wasn’t for the nomad lifestyle, so he needed to snap out of whatever self pity he was currently suffering because for one it was really starting to irritate Gwaine.

Caitrin was it then? Gwaine had only been to Camelot for a short amount of time and he could not remember being aquatinted with such a woman. It would be interesting to see if he had; he had spent enough time in Camelot to sample a few of the noblewomen, as well as the women at the local tavern. True he had been rather busy being imprisoned and then helping Arthur to not get himself killed, but Gwaine always found time for women; especially the beautiful ones. “What does she look like?” He asked curiously. “I spent a while in Camelot a few months ago.” There had certainly been a few noblewomen who he had seen while he was in the duel with Arthur; maybe she had been in the crowd.

Although Gwaine managed an amused chuckle at Griff’s words, he seriously hoped the man was joking. Gwaine wasn’t a fantastic advert for not drinking, but he would never allow himself to get in the same state which Griff had driven himself to. After all the man just seemed to be doing nothing of use at all. “Maybe you should consider sobering up.” Gwaine suggested lightly, though the fact he then took a swig of his ale sort of ruined the effect of his words. It was only a suggestion after all, though it was probably the best bit of advice that Griff was going to get for a long time.

Gwaine pressed his lips together as Griff told him he was better off with the life he had now. In truth, it had been the only lifestyle which had suited Gwaine in his youth but would it suit him in the future? Gwaine wasn’t quite sure. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to just stay in one place, and settle down. Then again, Gwaine was sure that he would miss the thrills of life on the road too much if he just suddenly decided to settle down. The nomadic lifestyle was just too tempting, he was the master of his own fate and that was the way he liked it. He couldn’t see anything changing it.

He didn’t need to ask what had driven Griff to change from his previous state to this, because no doubt it would just feed his self pity over this ‘Caitrin’. Honestly, why were some men such hopeless romantics? He either needed to get over this woman or go back to Camelot and try to convince her that he still liked her, or whatever it was that lovers did. Gwaine had never had a woman on his arm long enough to bother finding out what being in love felt like. From the looks of Griff he wouldn’t be putting himself through that torment any time soon. “Well, I like my life the way it is now.” He agreed and shrugged, “Perhaps you should try going back to this way of thinking.” Gwaine was once again being serious and looked across at Griff, because looking at his ale was making him worried it was becoming empty, “Is this Caitrin really worth ending up like this?”

[Griff Aubert]

Yes, sobering up would probably be a good idea, and if their roles were reversed that would be the advice he would give to Gwaine. Drinking wasn't going to solve any of his problems or make them go away, hell, it did even make him forget them. Come to think of it, why was he drinking again? It wasn't actually making him feel better, which wasn't really that surprising. All he had gained so far was bad breath, which was lovely, but without drinking he'd feel purposeless. If he was trying to charm an ale or two from a clueless barmaid then at least he was doing something. And, honestly, was he going to do anything better sober? He'd still be charming clueless barmaids, just with a better vocabulary. There therefore seemed no point to being sober. "Would you sober up if you were me?" Not that Gwaine would be in this position of course, but even so.

"Perhaps you should try going back to this way of thinking. Is this Caitrin really worth ending up like this?"

His immediate reaction was to argue that yes, Caitrin was worth ending up like this. She was worth a lot more. And yet, there was nothing for him in this life. He couldn't go on like this and he certainly couldn't go back to Camelot. Maybe this was the only option he had left. After all, it had always worked before. He would make a mess of things, and then get drunk and find a woman and everything would be alright and he'd continue until he made a mistake again. It was a life he could deal with, hell, it was a life he could enjoy. He might not be with Caitrin, and while that would the hardest thing to accept right now, Gwaine was right. She wasn't going to spend the rest of her life pining after him.

"I think," Griff waved his hand at Gwaine as he spoke, "You may be right. I don't need Caitrin." He said firmly. Now he just needed to convince himself of that. That shouldn't be too difficult. He'd convinced himself of many things over the years. He'd convinced himself he could look after himself, convinced himself he didn't need anyone - and especially not his father, convinced himself that nothing could effect him, that he could breeze through life without any troubles. And then Caitrin de Archer had come and put a stop to all of that. But it hadn't mattered. Because she'd done the convincing. She'd made him feel wanted and loved and everything he'd never felt anymore. And now he had to convince himself that didn't matter. Of course it mattered. It was the most important thing in the world. But he could no longer have that. He just had himself.

[thegwaine]

Would he sober up if he was in Griff’s position? In truth Gwaine hadn’t had the pleasure of even being close to anything he supposed Griff was feeling. Looking at the man, he was sure he never wanted to. Running a hand through his hair Gwaine looked back to Griff with quite a jesting expression. He wasn’t aiming to feed the man’s depression, but he couldn’t think of anything ele to say. “Probably not.” He replied before taking the last swig of his tankard. Where on earth had all that ale gone so quickly? Gwaine was not usually one for drinking so quickly in company, oh well, this was going to be a fun evening one way or the other.

Although Gwaine was somewhat unconvinced at Griff’s sudden change of heart he could hardly argue with it. After all, he didn’t want to sit here all evening with a depressed drunk did he? He clapped Griff on the shoulder with a grin, “Thats my man, who needs women anyway eh?” Of course that was complete nonsense to Gwaine, how could you not want to constantly be in the arms of a beautiful woman? Though that was probably not what Griff wanted to hear right now so he should probably just leave that topic alone whilst he was around Griff. Gwaine was sure he could go one night without trying to chat up the local barmaid; he would just have to make it up tomorrow night.

In Gwaine’s eyes this revelation of Griff’s deserved some sort of celebration. And low and behold they were in a tavern. Life just couldn’t get any better sometimes could it? “This deserves another drink.” He declared quickly, it was only his third since entering the tavern, though Gwaine was now convinced he probably wouldn’t be leaving this spot at all until he decided it was time for sleep. Even then he’d probably just slump here until the tavern owner told him to move; that was how he usually coped with this sort of situation anyway. Gwaine called for two more ales and the barman was more than happy to comply. He handed Griff his ale and raised it in some sort of happy, celebratory gesture, “To a life without women.” He jested and winked at Griff, letting out a small chuckle at the man. Well Griff could go his whole life without wanting a woman to warm his bed, Gwaine on the other hand would certainly not let his bed grow cold over the years.

[Griff Aubert]

He missed her. That much was obvious. And he would probably continue to miss her until the day he died. There was no denying the fact that she was the most fantastic person in the world and that he would do anything just to see her again. And there was no denying that this would never happen. She made that quite clear. And maybe he would always regret his choices and maybe he would never quite be as happy as he was and maybe every time he was with a woman he would think of her. It would never be enough, nothing would, there would always be something not quite right. But maybe that was all he could hope for. He’d lived without her before, he could do it again. Granted he hadn’t known her, and part of him thought that it would have been better if he never had. But he loved her, even if she hated him, even if she couldn’t stand the thought of him, even if she forgot him, he would love her. He just wouldn’t think about it. And maybe he’d survive.

Right now, a life without women was the best suggestion he’d heard in two months. He’d just keep his head down for a while, and then everything would be fine. It probably wouldn’t be good, it most definitely wouldn’t be happy. It would be fine, which right now sounded seriously underestimated. To Griff, fine was just what he needed. Fine would let him not care; fine would let him return to his old self. Fine was a release from his current state.

He followed Gwaine in his toast, hoping that this was actually going to last and make him feel better. “A life without women.” He repeated and took a swig from his ale. Somehow it tasted sweeter now that he had a new life plan. This was going to be a good thing; he was going to get on with his life. Everything was going to be fine.

[thegwaine]

Well Gwaine could only see one inevitable ending to his and Griff’s evening. As the ale flowed through his system he found himself less and less motivated to move anywhere. In retrospect he should have really got some bread or something to line his stomach before he had started drinking. It was a careless oversight on his part and he would probably suffer for it in the morning. Oh well, you only lived once didn’t you? He took another swig of his ale and just looked over at Griff. God he hoped he didn’t look as rough as that man did after a few ales. Gwaine was always confident in his looks, so he was sure he never looked as bad as Griff currently did. That of course was a matter of opinion.

Gwaine had already decided that in the morning he would be heading a separate way to Griff, if it turned out his new acquaintance moved anywhere. He was sure the slavers were still on his tracks, and while he was sure they would not attack him in the tavern, he would not put Griff in danger of them. After all, of the two of them he was the better stock, that much was clear for anyone to see. It was a noble plan at best. Gwaine screwed up his face slightly, now convinced that the time he had been spending with Arthur and Merlin had turned him soft; damn them both.

For Gwaine this wasn’t a typical evening in the tavern. It was almost nightfall and he wasn’t yet drunk, and to top it all off he hadn’t been involved in a bar brawl yet. Overall this was most unusual, but it wasn’t every night you came across a moping romantic either. Gwaine could never complain and say his life was boring because his life had a habit of causing interest in the strangest of places.

He grinned as Griff returned his toast and took another swig of his ale. Maybe now he was slightly more cheery Griff would be better company instead of moping after this woman. Perhaps all he had needed was for someone to reason with him, perhaps he would even think to go back. Gwaine had no idea, all he knew was that the pair were in for a most interesting evening at best. Slowly Gwaine shifted himself, urgh, why was moving so much effort? He’d only had three ales for pity’s sake! “So whats the plan now?” He asked, of course referring to Griff’s life without this Caitrin, “Or should we drink to past times and leave planning until you sober up?”

[Griff Aubert]

Apparantly trying to post angst while watching the awesome bromance that is Charles and Erik is a bad idea. Apologies for the length and mehness.

Well, the first stag of the plan was to get Gwaine as drunk as he was. Or maybe not as drunk, then they wouldn't be any position to anything. But it was no fun being in this state alone, and hopefully Gwaine's own intoxicated state could improve Griff's. He was normally such a happy drunk. A slightly confused and forgetful one mind, but normally happy. "The plan," Griff began raising his hand as he spoke, because that would make him look more authoritive, obviously. "Is that you should drink more." It was a sound plan, and one he was going to make sure was carried out in full. He still had a little ale in his own tankard, so he pushed it across the table. He definitely didn't need any more himself. "And then you can cheer me up."

Whatever they ended up doing, they definitely wouldn't be "drinking to past times". As much fun as past times had been, they would probably only serve to remind him of Caitrin and that wouldn't do at all. He was moving on with his life. It was a rather good feeling. He'd missed those.

[thegwaine]

Getting as drunk as Griff didn't sound like the most appealing plan in the world. (Had the man seen himself in the mirror lately) However, the sound or more ale was an appealing thought which Gwaine was more than happy to oblige Griff with. After all, who was Gwaine to deny a drink or two, or several, with another? It was social drinking so it wasn't as bad; or at least that was Gwaine's philosophy on the matter. He however would not be getting as drunk as Griff was, as there was little fun to be had when you got to that state. "And how would me being as drunk as you cheer you up?" He asked curiously, calling the tavern owner to bring them two more ales. Surely the only thing which would make Griff anything near cheery would be forgetting all about this woman.

He handed Griff another ale, which probably wasn't the best idea. Gwaine was already feeling incredibly tipsy. He wondered if the tavern owner would mind if he just slept where he was sitting now. It would after all spare him the expense of renting a room for the night; thought that idea came with the worry of getting robbed during the night. "I hope your comfortable, my legs usually stop working after the fifth or sixth ale. What are we on at the moment? Well its my fifth I think lord knows what drink you are on."

[Griff Aubert]

That was a silly idea. Honestly, he'd taken Gwaine to be more intelligent than that. What good would be be to Griff if they were both in this state? No, Griff just wanted him drunk enough to cheer him up, not too drunk to stand up by himself. "It wouldn't. But you can hold your drink." Men like Gwaine usually could. "Then you'll be mostly drunk." Obviously. To Griff that was perfectly logical. He just wanted someone to be drunk with, being in this state alone was never socially acceptable.

He had a feeling, or maybe it was just wishful thinking, that Gwaine would be very good at cheering him up with fewer inhibitions. While his advice had given Griff something to think about, and he was grateful for the company, he just wanted some fun. He'd been in this sorry state for far too long and he didn't much care for it.

Hmm that was a good question. Griff didn't actually know how much he'd had to drink. All the taverns had blended into one in his memory. Too much, probably, or at least too much to anything more productive than continuing to drink. "I have no idea. Don't care, not important." He replied dismissively. His head was going to hate him in the morning, but he didn't care. He didn't care about much anymore.