A Bitter Chill (Merlin)

[morg]

Of course, there was no possible way he could ever really make it up to her for trying to kill her. It wasn't possible, unless he figured out a way to go back in time and change things. But even Morgana, with her magic, had not figured out a way to go back in time. And Merlin had no power, so what could he possibly do? Even if he somehow helped her gain the throne of Camelot, there would still be that one horrible betrayal weighing between them.

Sometimes she did miss him. She missed all of them sometimes. She would never dream of admitting it to any of them, but she did have fond memories of them. She remembered training with Arthur, or talking about boys with Gwen. She remembered how she had helped Merlin save the village where he had grown up. She missed the girl she used to be. But there was no way to get her back. Morgana couldn't see any other way now. She needed to free the land from tyranny so that magic could once again be practiced freely.

"You must convince Arthur that magic should be allowed in Camelot again," she found herself saying. "People with magic shouldn't have to live in fear. He listens to you... if you convince him of it, he may change his mind."

[youngwarlock]

He couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Morgana was merely asking him to do what he did on a daily basis. To take steps in fulfilling his own destiny. All she wanted, was exactly what Merlin wanted for himself and for the rest of the kingdom. If only she knew just how much he was struggling to see to it that such a future came to pass. Merlin had enough faith in Arthur already to know that one day he would create the kingdom they all yearned for. The young king was nothing at all like his father, that much was plain enough.

"I will, I'll do it" he replied quickly upon realising the silence that hung in the cold air. He suddenly felt daring, desperate to open up to her, he'd been doing what she wanted for years! Serving his friend and saving his life numerous times, keeping him safe and all so that he could unite the lands and bring magic back to the kingdom. "It is all I want too!" Merlin blurted out, stopping himself before he went too far, but she had to at least know something of his true identity. She had to know he wasn't like them. He wanted magic to return too. "And I know that one day it will happen. Arthur will be a fair and just king...it is his destiny. One day magic will return to Camelot."

[morg]

It should have made her happy. When she started all of this, it was all she had wanted. She had wanted Uther dead, Arthur to be king, and magic to return to Camelot. She had not originally planned to seek the throne of Camelot. It never would have even occurred to her that she would have any right to seek it. Arthur was a good man, she knew that, and he would make a good king. She remembered telling him just that on several occasions.

But that had all changed when she found out that Uther had basically lied to her all of her life. She was his daughter, and he couldn't even admit it to her, not even to her face. She was some dark secret that he swept under the rug. If he had just admitted it to her when she'd asked, maybe all of this would have been different. But he hadn't confessed it to her face, proving, in her mind, that he didn't love her as a father should have. Uther loved and was proud of Arthur, but he was content to keep her at a distance. And that was when Morgana decided she wanted Uther's crown for herself. But at first that had not even been a glimmer in her mind. She'd only wanted the freedom to practice magic without persecution.

So it surprised her that Merlin would agree to promote her cause to Arthur so willingly. It was too easy... which was why Morgana didn't trust it. Nothing she had ever wanted ever came easily, if at all.

So she looked him in the eye, trying to find the catch. There had to be a catch... some trick up his sleeve. Not finding any, she added one of her own.

"And when magic is legal once again in Camelot... I want to return. As the sister of the king. You must convince him to allow me back in Camelot."