A Bitter Chill (Merlin)

[morg]

Tagged: Merlin
Season: Winter
Weather: Cold, light snow
Time: Afternoon
Series: 4

"I'm the High Priestess of the Old Religion," Morgana grumbled to herself. "You'd think I'd be able to keep my wretched hovel warm."

It was a bitterly cold day, only weeks before the Winter Solstice. It was on days like this that Morgana positively ached for the warmth and comfort of Camelot. When it snowed, Uther would order a feast of hot, comforting foods... Ham and wild turkey, venison, potatoes and fresh baked breads. There were warm ciders and hot, sweet pies. She'd be clad in warm velvets and furs and sitting by the fire, laughing with Arthur like she hadn't a care in the world.

If only she had known then that one day, she'd be sitting on a hard, wooden chair in a tiny, dirty hovel with a fire that just couldn't fight the cold that seeped through the thin walls. What would she have done differently?

Oh, she was glad Uther was dead. She didn't miss him... she merely missed the luxury of those days. She was entitled to that luxury... she was the queen. Or she should have been, anyway. When she had been enjoying the comfortable feasts at Camelot, Uther had been lying to her, calling her his "ward" and not his daughter. She could never forgive that, and she could not forgive Arthur for taking her rightful place.

The fire sputtered, and Morgana stared at it, her eyes glowing amber as the flames rose up anew. Maybe she could have her own winter feast. Standing up, she grabbed her warmest cloak, one of the last ones she had left from her days at Camelot. This one was black, but lined with a thick fur on the inside. It was more subtle than the shimmery velvet cloaks she had once worn, so it would suit her purpose.

She shivered as she stepped outside, the chill seeming to run right into her bones. The exercise of hunting would do her good.

She wandered for a while, searching for the telltale tracks of a deer or some other large animal. She was so intent on scanning the ground that she didn't notice how close she was becoming to Camelot itself. This was careless of her, and if she had realized it, she would have been angry with herself.

She had just spotted some interesting tracks in the snow and was about to move towards it when she heard a movement in the underbrush. She whirled around, ready to aim a spell when she saw the deer's eyes... only what she saw was not a deer.

[youngwarlock]

It was always Merlin who seemed to get burdened with the difficult jobs, no matter what the weather. He'd been sent out into the freezing cold, by both Arthur and Gaius to collect firewood, complete with the typical witty piece of advice from sir Leon that he should run all the way there if he wanted to keep warm.

The warlock was freezing. There was no doubt that bending down to pick up stray logs every few moments had helped somewhat but nothing could take the chill out of the air. He stood for a moment, pile of wood in his arms as he glanced slowly around the snow tainted area, the forest completely still and silent. It was really quite beautiful. His eyes suddenly became drawn to his breath as the air cooled his throat, emitting a frosty cloud each time he exhaled. His face was starting to go numb.

With a frosty sigh, he pressed on, moving forward and crouching to retrieve a branch from the snow littered ground, pausing suddenly as he heard something in the near distance.

Slowly he rose to his feet and stepped forward, glancing around before his eyes finally fell upon the source of the noise. He watched in that instant, filled with dread as she spun around, catching sight of him immediately before he had chance to react. Oh no....

The dragonlord stared into the cold pale eyes of the witch, Morgana, as he stood, silently rooted to the spot, unable to move within that short moment. What was she doing here? The first thing that sprung to mind was that he had to warn Arthur. Morgana was powerful, and for all Merlin knew, there could be an entire army not far behind her.

Dropping the firewood, the warlock turned away from the witch, his entire being numbed by the cold as he began to run....

[morg]

Of all the reactions he could have had to seeing her, for some reason, that was the one that hurt the most. Maybe it was because she was already feeling vulnerable, but the fact that he immediately ran away from her, as though he expected her to do something to him, cut her to the quick. It was as though she was some kind of monster, not someone he had once considered a friend.

Morgana was not heartless. She tried very hard to appear that way, but the truth was, her heart beat just the same as anyone else's. And it could be wounded. Maybe she'd brought it on herself, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt when people she once cared about turned away from her with hatred or fear.

"Merlin, wait," she called after him, even though it probably would have been better to let him go. But if he went, he would probably go to fetch Arthur and the knights of Camelot, and then her hunting trip would be cut short.

"I'm not here to plot against you. I just..."

She trailed off. What did it matter? He wouldn't believe her, anyway. "Forget it. I'll go."

[youngwarlock]

There was something in her voice that slowed him down, weaving its way into his weak spots, piquing his curiosity first before finding the compassion that constantly fuelled his heart so much.

Something in the way she spoke... only a few words, but they had sounded as though they had come from the Lady Morgana he once knew and loved. His true friend. The king's loyal ward. The only other person in Camelot having to hide their magic... The witch, he reminded himself, knowing that this could possibly be some kind of trap. But he had to know. What if she had realised her mistakes? What if she wanted to change?

Merlin found himself standing silently in the snow-dusted ground for those few moments, his back facing her. He could hear nothing. No words. No distant footsteps on the crisp foliage... Yet he could sense her presence just as he would if she were standing right behind him.

Keeping his guard up, the warlock very slowly turned to face her, his head lowered a little as he stared straight ahead, his wary yet stern gaze settling on her dark form. "What do you want Morgana?"

[morg]

He should have kept running, because in that moment Morgana realized something about Merlin--something she could use. Merlin had a weakness, and she'd been a fool not to realize it sooner.

He always wanted to believe the best of people, even if they'd let him down. No matter how much had happened and how much time had passed, he couldn't quite forget the person she used to be. She still meant something to him, and he still had a soft spot for the innocence in her voice. It didn't matter that she wasn't innocent anymore--that girl was gone now. She was a different person now.

But maybe he'd never stopped mourning her loss, even though it had been he who had killed her. Maybe it was his guilt that made him turn back. When he had given her that poisoned water, he had murdered the old Morgana. And she was all that was left... no longer weak and innocent, but powerful and filled with anger and hatred. He might have thought of her as evil, but she didn't think of herself that way. She was only fighting for what she believed was right... even if she was doing it the wrong way.

She managed to keep from smirking as she began to understand the power she still held over him. This was a power that went beyond magic... it was the power of the heart.

"I don't want anything from you," she said in an injured tone. "I was out hunting, and I didn't expect to see you."

She gave a tiny shiver as a particularly cold breeze blew through, pushing her hood off of her head and ruffling through her tangled curls.

She gave him an almost shy smile, then spoke again, with a tiny catch in her voice for added effect. It had always worked for Uther.... "You look well, Merlin. I--I guess I shouldn't keep you out in this terrible cold. Please... don't tell Arthur you saw me?"

She shivered again, pulling her hood up over her head and walking away slowly, with a slight stumble. He didn't see her smile after she turned away, fully expecting him to call her back this time.

[youngwarlock]

A frown creased the young servant's brow as he watched her every move, listening to every word, his head searching for any hints of danger whilst his heart seeked out kindness. Why was she out hunting so close to Camelot? Hunting the kingdom, he warned himself, but his heart noted the convincingly genuine tone in her voice. Perhaps it was some kind of trick? She looked only vulnerable however as he watched her shiver and pull up her hood, the frown fading from his brow, leaving only a lingering curiosity upon his features.

He had told himself he wasn't going to react at all. He was going to leave her to wander off into the woods and not say a word to Arthur about it unless she gave him good reason to, but something inside him was urging him to do otherwise. He watched indecisively as she began to walk away, noting the coldness in the air once more as a chilly breeze whipped past, nipping at his skin and ruffling his hair.

"Morgana..." he began almost reluctantly, his voice growing loud enough to hear as he decided to call out to her again. "Wait."

Pacing over to where he'd dropped the firewood in a panic moments ago, the warlock bent down, picking up every log and broken branch in a hurry until his arms were full once more. He knew not where she was staying, but the least he could do was offer her this small gesture of kindness. This winter was going to be a harsh one and something in her voice had made Merlin feel somewhat inclined.

"Here" he said at last, offering her the firewood as he made his way towards her. "I thought you might need this."

[morg]

Morgana had no particular plans or designs for this chance encounter, but now that she had Merlin right where she wanted him, he wold be a fool not to take advantage of her good fortune. She could test the waters with him, to see just how strong of an effect she could have over him without the use of magic. So far, she was quite pleased with the results.

She was walking away slowly, and was not surprised when Merlin called out her name. She stopped in her tracks, a slow smile spreading across her face. But it was gone by the time she turned back around to face him.

He was holding a pile of firewood out to her, and she looked at him for a long moment, as if debating with herself whether or not to take it. She could, of course, easily get her own firewood, and they both knew it. But it was the gesture that counted, and Morgana couldn't ignore that. It meant that somewhere, deep down, Merlin still cared.

She smiled tentatively and reached out to take the firewood from him. "Thank you, Merlin. You're a good..."

She trailed off here, allowing the smile to slip from her face. Those were almost the exact words she had said to him when he had handed her the poisoned water skin on that terrible day. And she knew that the familiarity of those words would not be lost on him. She wanted to remind him of that moment, of what he had done to her. That moment had changed her life, made her what she was now. She wanted him to feel that guilt.

"...man," she finished, her eyes now turning wary. "You.... haven't poisoned this wood, have you?"

[youngwarlock]

The small hint of a smile which had begun to grace the young servant's lips, faded immediately as her words trailed off. The tone of her voice alone had brought back the memories of that day, so long ago and yet the details were all so clear that it felt like yesterday. So much had happened since then. Morgana had caused so much destruction with her deadly ally Morgause. Merlin was certain the witch had held some influence over her. Perhaps Morgana could change her ways. Perhaps she intended no harm upon Camelot now, after all, she had been gone for a whole year, never returning to attempt more attacks, and now.... now all she appeared to be doing was hunting in the woods for food and firewood. The warlock had to keep reminding himself despite everything that there was still a chance she could be dangerous. He felt somewhat torn and her words only further fuelled his long forgotten anguish. It pained him to see her so wary of him, convinced that he had wanted her dead.

"Morgana..." his face was a picture of utter grief as the word escaped his lips upon a cloud of frost, so silent that it could barely be heard. He hadn't wanted to do what he'd done. It had completely torn him apart inside to commit such an act, and then to hold her in his arms, his heart breaking as he watched her life slipping away from her, hoping that she knew how sorry he was, that he'd had no choice... but how could she possibly know. Tears began to sting Merlin's eyes as he stood, staring into her own, feeling as though his past apology had been pointless, for she had not been herself. She had forgiven him too easily. It had all been an act.

"I am so sorry..." he breathed at last, his grey eyes, pained by anguish, never leaving hers. He could have cut out his own heart in that moment and handed it to her, so true were his words.

[morg]

All she had wanted to do was to rub it in, and make him miserable. But she'd gotten more than she'd bargained for. The look on his face was unexpectedly devastating, and it reminded her of the one moment that she had forced herself to forget. When she had realized what he'd done, she had looked up at him, confused and scared and hurt, and he'd looked back at her with such pain written on his face. In that one look, he'd confirmed exactly what he had done, but there was so much more to it than that. The pain in his eyes told her without words that he hated what he'd done and that he was sorry.

She had known, even then in her dying breaths, exactly what that look meant, but she didn't understand it. She hadn't understood why he wanted her dead... why he would try to hurt her. They were friends. She had thought of him as a friend... a close friend. Almost as if there was a bond between them that she didn't understand. So why had he tried to kill her, especially since he seemed to regret it as he did?

In the weeks that had followed, when Morgause had helped her to recover from her illness and the trauma of it all, Morgana had asked herself that question so many times. She had even asked Morgause, who had simply told her that Merlin couldn't be trusted. But looking at him now, Morgana realized the truth that she hadn't allowed herself to believe before. He really was sorry, and he wouldn't have done it if he'd felt he had any other option.

She could see the tears of regret in his eyes and she was surprised to find that she was moved by it. She'd worked so hard to encase her heart in ice, but she had already been feeling nostalgic and vulnerable as it was, and she felt the ice beginning to melt. It was almost like she wanted to forgive him... but how could she? She had very nearly died at his hand. She had trusted him and he betrayed her. How could she forgive that?

Morgana drew a shaky breath, and the vulnerability on her face was real this time. She didn't like this feeling. Vulnerability was dangerous. It made her weak, and she could not be that weak again. "I believe you," she said softly. "But why? Why did you do it? I thought you were my friend. I thought.... I thought you cared for me. How could you do that to me? I trusted you!"

[youngwarlock]

There had been many moments in time where Merlin had desperately wished he could explain certain situations with the truth. This was one of those moments.

"I believe you"

The relief was almost overwhelming as the words, filled with honesty escaped her lips, and Merlin, not realising he had been holding his breath, exhaled silently into the cold air with a slow blink of his eyelids.

It was a relief that would quickly subside however as Morgana continued. She wanted reasons, of course she did, it was only natural and she had every right to ask. Merlin didn't know what to say and yet his words came without hesitation.

"I did.... I do care" he replied softly without thinking. But it were true. Seeing her so vulnerable having seemingly lost her way, he couldn't help but care for her. They had once been close friends and the genuine sadness in her eyes only furthered his beliefs that the old Morgana was still in there, reaching out to him. It made him feel less alone in the world, despite her not knowing his true identity. Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe she would learn to use her gifts for good rather than evil. Merlin swallowed down a lump in his throat, wishing so much that he had been able to share his secret with her back when she had confided in him. He could have helped her when she had been afraid and confused by her gifts. This only furthered his guilt, making him feel responsible for whom she had become.

"Morgana..." he continued, cold air rushing down his throat with each breath. "I had no choice."

Should he elaborate further? She deserved to know what really happened and he desperately wanted to tell. His mind was racing for a way in which he could reveal the truth to her without giving himself away in the process. Above everything else he just wanted the old Morgana back.

"Camelot would have fallen... I had no choice" he repeated, his teary eyed gaze still fixed on hers as he hesitantly continued. "You were the source of her magic..."

He almost choked on the words as he spoke them, realising that they were a little too revealing for his own comfort. What if she didn't believe him? And worse still, what if she already knew what Morgause had done?

[morg]

Morgana felt uncomfortable with the way his eyes locked onto hers with his teary-eyed yet steadfast gaze. She didn't know how to deal with his tears; she hadn't expected them. Hostility and anger and blame she could handle. But not emotions. She wanted to hate him and he was making it difficult to do that.

But he poisoned you.

She had to keep telling herself that. It strengthened her resolve. No matter what explanations he came up with, that fact was pretty hard to ignore, and even harder to forgive.

She looked away from his eyes, forcing herself to stare at a point just above him. She'd gotten good at avoiding people's eyes during that last year in Camelot. So long she had played the good, gentle lady of Camelot, the dutiful ward of King Uther, that she was used to avoiding people's eyes when she was lying.

And if she didn't look at Merlin as he talked, she could tell herself that he was lying. "You always had a choice, Merlin," she said. "You could have trusted me. Just because I had magic doesn't mean the curse was my fault. I didn't have that kind of power. Morgause protected me from the spell... you could have asked me to help. I could have talked to her. I only wanted Uther dead, but I didn't want anyone else hurt. I could have talked her into reversing the spell."

Of course, Morgana had no idea that Morgause had not told her the whole truth about the curse. She knew Morgause had caused the sleeping sickness and the attack, but she didn't know that she had been the "source" of the illness. And between the two of them, Morgana was always going to trust Morgause, her now dearly departed sister, over the man who tried to murder her.

"The truth is, you believed I was evil because I had magic, didn't you? I guess I proved you're right... I hope you're happy now."

[youngwarlock]

"No ....You're wrong" the warlock stated calmly in response, wishing he could fully explain just how wrong she was in far greater detail.
He daringly took a small step closer to her, his feet crunching softly on the crisp cold ground beneath. Something about the way she was looking at him seemed strange somehow, giving him a renewed sense of unease, though he chose to ignore it, for the time being. No matter what the great dragon had told him about Morgana Pendragon, Merlin believed everyone deserved a chance, wether it be a second or third.

"I know it was not your fault, Morgana" he continued, tainting the air with a cloud of frost. "I have never looked upon magic as being evil...not all of it. The druids, I sent you to them because I thought they could help you understand your magic, remember? I wanted to help you...I didn't know what else to do."

His words were sincere, for they were of course true. Despite everything Kilgharrah had said about 'the witch', Merlin had desperately wanted things to turn out differently. He wondered again just how differently they would have turned out if he had chosen to help Morgana himself. Instead he'd almost killed her and made her into the person she was destined to become. If he could only go back and do things differently somehow....find another way ...The very thought filled his heart with grief, and he tore his gaze away from her, staring bleary eyed into the woods beyond as he swallowed back more tears threatening to emerge.

"If I could go back to that day...I swear...." he began, allowing his gaze to settle upon hers once more, nothing but deep regret and honesty present within the depth of his eyes. "I would do things differently."

[morg]

The anger was slowing starting to boil inside her again, but instead of the bitter, burning hatred, Morgana felt unexpected tears scalding her eyes. Furiously, she tried to brush them away, but not quickly enough. He surely would have noticed them, and she looked away so that she wouldn't have to see his reaction.

"Well, we can't go back, can we? You can't go back and finish the job."

After all she had done since that day, she could only assume that his biggest regret was that he had not succeeded in killing her that day. Sometimes Morgana regretted that, too. Ever since she had woken up on the Isle of the Blessed with Morgause sobbing over her, Morgana had felt a terrible rage inside her that threatened to consume her. Sometimes, like now, it even terrified herself.

She had been good once. She remembered it, like a distant memory from another life. And even though she told herself that she was still fighting for a good cause--the restoration of the Old Religion to Camelot and the surrounding kingdoms--she knew, deep down, that many of her actions were cruel. And sometimes the ends didn't justify the means.

Technically, Arthur and Guinevère had never done anything to hurt her. But they stood in her way and prevented her from carrying out the mission she had chosen for herself, so they had to go. But she never did understand why Merlin cared so much... why he fought so hard for Arthur, who had always treated him with such disrespect. Why couldn't he have fought for her? She knew he had cared for her once... she even once believed that maybe, when Uther was gone, they could have been more than friends. They'd always had such a strong connection, ever since they had worked to save Mordred together. Why had he chosen Arthur over her?

"You never really understood. No one did. I was alone and scared, and I had no one. If I could have stayed with the druids that day, instead of being forced to go back with Arthur... Instead, I only had Morgause. She was the only one, and now she's gone, too, thanks to you!"

[youngwarlock]

She was still in there, he knew it. He could see genuine emotion in her eyes, mingled in with the hatred and bitterness and it gave him hope that just maybe, she would allow him to reach out and help her. Instead she managed to shock him again with her words.

"Do you honestly believe I ever wanted to see you dead?" Merlin asked, unable to decipher wether Morgana was simply being spiteful or wether she genuinely did believe the young man had wanted to harm her. Perhaps she had convinced herself that every single human being in Camelot was against magic, happily choosing to let Uther Pendragon indoctrinate their minds, turning them against everything remotely magical, forever. Oh if only she knew....

The frustration was probably clear as crystal in the young warlock's eyes, for he felt it so strongly that it took every effort for him to stay calm and avoid a sudden outburst that would reveal his true identity. He understood more than anyone how Morgana had felt. He only wished he could tell her just how much.

"I'm sorry Morgana" he said sincerely. "I'm sorry for how much you've lost, and I'm sorry that I ever had to play any part in it. I never wanted any of this to happen. We were friends.... and I wish more than anything, that I could have been there for you."

[morg]

The truth was, it was easier to hate. The hate protected her, kept her strong and safe. Other emotions, she had learned, were complicated and painful. Hate couldn't betray her, it couldn't make her cry. If she expected nothing from anyone else, then they couldn't hurt her anymore.

She didn't want to forgive Merlin. She didn't want to believe that he still cared about her or that he regretted poisoning her. She didn't want his apologies. She wanted to make him feel the way she had felt in that moment when she realized he had poisoned her. She had told him he was a good friend, only moments before the poison began to take hold of her system. He stood there, he looked her in the eye, knowing she was moments from dying at his hand. How could he do it? And how could he expect her to forgive him now?

But standing there before him in the snow, Morgana felt tears burning in her eyes. Merlin had been the first person to tell her that magic wasn't evil. He'd supported her, and it had made her feel better to know that he knew her secret and was still her friend. It had given her hope that maybe one day, she could live peacefully without hiding her magic away like a terrible secret.

"I never know what to expect from you, Merlin," she said. "I never would have thought you'd try to poison me, but you did. I would never have done that to you, if our situations had been reversed. You were the only person in Camelot who understood, and you turned against me. I had no one but Morgause, and now she's gone, too. You've taken away everything that matters to me."

[youngwarlock]

Merlin could feel himself falling apart inside with every word Morgana spoke, filling him with renewed devastation and guilt. It wasn't in his nature to harm anyone, especially not one of his friends. He had, without choice, intended to kill Morgana on that day to save the kingdom, to protect his destiny. The girl he had once been so close to was changing before his eyes, becoming something evil...becoming a threat to the kingdom. Why hadn't he helped her instead?

Tears stung his eyes and left warm trails down his cheeks as he thought back, asking himself over and over why he had done such a thing. They had been trapped. Camelot was under attack and defeating the source of the magic had been the only way to stop it. That choice had been Kilgharrah's. The dragon had instructed Merlin to heed his words and once again, despite being certain that he could never do such a thing, the vulnerable young boy had followed his head instead of his heart, convinced that he had no other choice.

Deep down, Merlin knew that he would have attempted to bring Morgana back himself with some kind of antedote to the hemlock, and it half-pained him that Morgause had needed to get to her first to break the enchantment. On the one hand, Morgana's sister had clearly known how to save her life, but on the other, she had fuelled Morgana's hatred not only for Uther, but for everyone in his kingdom, and had helped transform her into a dark unstoppable force.

Merlin was at a loss. It seemed there was nothing he could do or say to make Morgana understand his actions, at least not without revealing his true identity and that was out of the question. Again he found himself following his head instead of his heart and it near drove him mad that he had no choice but to keep quiet.

Shivering, the young man wrapped his arms around himself and took several deep breaths, letting the bitterly cold air burn his throat as he tried desperately hard to control his sobs.

"I know Morgana.... I know you would never have done such a thing." he replied, his expression pained as the words broke his heart all over again, for he knew just how true they were.

"I would have brought you back... I hadn't turned against you... I just didn't know what else to do! I'm sorry..." his words broke off as he swallowed down the lump in his throat. He didn't know what else he could say.

[morg]

The ice was beginning to thaw. Not the ice all around them, but the ice in her heart. She hadn't cried since her dear sister's death, but she felt a tear drip from her eye and streak down her cheek.

How could this still hurt? How could she still care what he thought about her or what he felt? Hadn't they hurt each other enough by now? Her heart was already broken. Why, then, did it feel like it was breaking all over again?

She let out an angry cry, one that echoed through the woods and sounded almost inhuman. "I wanted you to hurt," she cried. "I wanted you to feel the pain that I felt when I realized what you had done to me. Not the pain as I struggled for breath... the pain in my heart. I wanted revenge... I wanted you to suffer. How can I make you suffer when you've already done it to yourself? How can I hate you... but how can I forgive you for what you did?"

[youngwarlock]

Her cry was like a deep stab wound to the heart as it echoed all around him, both inside and out, tainting the very air itself with deep despair. Merlin could see he had reached her now. Even just a small part of her. She was hurting, just as he knew she would be, and it pained him to finally see the emotions Morgana had kept hidden away for such a long time.

Of course he couldn't blame her for the way she felt. He understood completely and the pain of knowing cut him deeper than any wound. Pain that Merlin felt he deserved to feel. "I cannot ask that you forgive me" he said at last, almost at a loss for words. "I just need you to know that I understand.... Everything. I have suffered more than you could possibly know Morgana... having to do what I did...to someone I cared so much about..."

He paused and just looked at her, thinking that if he could just reach out and hold her, just for a moment...and try to comfort her the way you did when she was dying in your arms. The thought leapt at him, stinging him even more than the icy wind that suddenly lashed against his face as though it were punishing him for even thinking he could attempt such a thing.

"I never wanted this to happen!"

[morg]

The frigid wind seemed to swirl all around her, blowing snow and ice in her face and sticking in her hair. The tears in her eyes that she refused to shed felt like they were freezing against her lashes.

Morgana had tried so hard to convince herself that she didn't care about him, about anything, but she knew now that it was a lie. After everything that had happened, she still cared. She still hurt. She could almost feel the choking sensation in her throat, just like she had felt that day when the poison burned through her.

"Then prove it," she said harshly. "Prove to me that you're sorry. Make it up to me."

Her mind was spinning with the many things she could ask of him--no, demand--knowing full well that he'd never do most of them. He wouldn't jeopardize Camelot or Arthur for her. He had chosen them over her before, and she knew he would do it again.

But just this once... she wanted him to put her first.

[youngwarlock]

Merlin almost stumbled back as the words fell from her lips. He could hardly believe what he was hearing! Was she really prepared to give him a chance to prove himself? At this moment in time it was all he could ever have hoped for and the warlock instantly felt his heart lift a little at the idea of being able to make up for his actions, though he doubted he would ever be able to forgive himself for them, simply because of how unspeakable they had been. Another wave of guilt washed over him and he swallowed hard, looking remorseful as he answered.

"How?" he moved forwards perhaps a little too quickly and stopped himself before he got too close, for her comfort, not his own. "Morgana... I'll do anything just tell me what I have to do..."

His words sounded almost desperate amidst the rest of his transparent emotions and he no longer cared wether this could be some kind of trick. Infact the thought never even crossed his mind. The warlock felt solely responsible for the dark vengeful witch Morgana had become and if there was a way he could put everything right between them and bring his true friend back, he would do whatever it took. Anything infact, to make up for his past mistakes.