In the Shadows (Yassia)

[Caitrin de Archer]

The fast was something Caitrin found herself becoming more and more excited about day on day. She really couldn’t wait for the day to arrive now she actually thought about it. It would be a spectacular evening at any rate. The talk had now changed to gowns, and Caitrin cast her thoughts to the gowns she had brought from Camelot. “Perhaps we could go to the dressmakers tomorrow, if you don’t have any gown which takes your fancy?” It would only take the dressmaker a few days or so to whip up a dress or two, if that. It was all a matter of how much gold you had in such matters. Of course Caitrin would have to look the part, because this evening was in honour of her. She would be wearing her Mercian blue of course, she had no idea what Griff was going to be wearing, but she would speak to him about that later. “As long as you don’t wear anything too scandalous then the Mercian courtiers will not even bat an eye lid of disapproval, though the men will be disappointed.” She winked at her friend, as what was culturally acceptable, and what was wanted at court were two different things. Caitrin would be donning one of her usual gowns, or one she would be having made, to show off her figure beautifully. Griff would be the only one appreciating her in the fullness of her outfit of course.

It was true that the musicians in Camelot had got the music quite easily, and it was a simple melody so that was enough. She hadn’t come across the court musicians yet, but she would now make a point on seeing them in the morning. “I’ll find them tomorrow.” Caitrin smiled softly and reassured her friend of the fact. If they gave the musicians a few days to practice then they would be perfect come the night of the festivities. “Then they can have a few days to practice.” It sounded reasonable to Caitrin, and she hoped Yassia would agree. Jesu, the night would just be fantastic wouldn’t it?

The most intimate bit of the diagnosis was the bit Caitrin strived to just block it out as much as she could. She closed her eyes and just imagined she was anywhere else but here. She felt a tug at her gown and she covered her modesty right away before Yassia spoke again. She didn’t register what Yassia had said straight away and she just looked on at her friend, trying to think through the words. Wait, she was fine? She was going to have more children after this, everything was going to be fine. She let out a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding and ran her hands over her face. “Thank god.” Was all she could think to say as she swung her legs round and got off the table. She hadn’t been expecting her legs to feel like jelly but she just looked back at her friend and even managed a small laugh. “Well, thats one thing me and Griff don’t need an invitation for.” Joking was probably taking more effort than it usually did, but she quickly found her arms thrown around Yassia, “Thank you.” Because she was so grateful her friend had set this straight for her, and given her hope of her own little family one day.

[Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha]

Having a dress made especially for this occasion? Ever since being a guest and relying on the goodwill of others, Yassia had become very hesitant when it came to luxury. She had also lived a few months barely being able to fill her stomach every two days and that had opened her eyes for the really needed things in life and what was nothing but additional glitter. Having a new dress made because others didn’t catch her ‘fancy’ was surely one of those needless things, but then even though Yassia might have learned and changed, she was still a woman, and a woman with a love for elegance. She had not wanted to strain her uncle’s purse all too much, and that was why she had only ordered four dresses in total being made when he had asked her to, and those four dresses she had been wearing throughout the year, or rather only three of them, since the fourth had been saved for REALLY special occasions, which for example had been met in the pre-coronation of Arthur Pendragon just the other day. So, one additional gown would not go amiss, yes? She could allow herself such luxury, and even more so since it would be a wonderful experience doing this together with Caitrin.
“That would be wonderful indeed!” she said with gleaming eyes. “I am sorry to let the Mercian men down, but I don’t think scandalous will be my call for this night”, she joked then. “After all, I would hate to steal your spotlight.”

The more details were put to Caitrin’s pre-wedding feast, the more Yassia was excited to live through it. Before, even after arriving in Mercia, the feast had been some sort of a distant, hazy occasion, and her thoughts had often been occupied otherwise. Now however she was giving it her whole attention, and it just made it all the better. The night would be wonderful, and they would all enjoy themselves.
“Excellent! But we should keep it a surprise for everyone, don’t you think? Don’t even tell Griff. Which reminds me: who do you want to be part of that feast? It’s your and Griff’s call after all! Do you want as many people of the court to participate as possible, or do you want it to be a more private affair?” Yassia couldn’t tell what she herself would like better, but then she would probably be fine with either way.

Yassia was about to blush at Caitrin’s rather telling comment about Griff and her – even though it should not come as such a great surprise – when she felt Caitrin’s arm sneaking around her and she was pulled into a hug. Impulsively, Yassia returned it with fervor, feeling her own relief wash over her at the diagnosis she had just confirmed. Caitrin was a lucky girl indeed, but she deserved every inch of that luck! And she one day would be a wonderful mother, with Griff being a splendid father. Yassia’s wish for a wagonload of children had not been all in jest. “I am so glad I could take this burden off your shoulders, Caitrin!” she confessed and was surprised to find her voice even slightly quivering. “Blessed be my mother for her skills and what she taught me. I never knew I could one day do that much good with it.” After all, only in the last few days, she had treated Oliver which had mended some of their friendship and she had been able to give Caitrin hope for the future. That was more than she would have ever dreamt to achieve.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin couldn’t stop herself from grinning when Yassia agreed to have a dress made for the occasion. She would make sure she sent for the dressmaker in the morning. Caitrin wanted her friend to look good as much as she wanted to make the right impression on the night as well. “I shall send for the dressmaker first thing in the morning.” She informed her friend with a wide grin. Caitrin already knew what sort of gown she wanted, she wanted something blue in the fitted style. Though she wanted to wow the Mercian courts, there was only one man she really wanted to impress and enchant with what she was wearing, “What style would you want? Or what colour would you prefer?” She’d never really done this, because she’d never had the chance, but this was probably about as girlish as Caitrin got.

Now, she did agree with Yassia about keeping it a secret, then they could enchant all the men in the room in a few minutes. Now that was a thought. Caitrin grinned and nodded at her friend, “Then a secret it shall remain.” She wondered how Griff would react, well, she sort of knew, but she wanted to see the look on his face when she began to move in such a way. He wouldn’t be able to touch her until the dance was done, and that might just kill him. “I believe we’re having an open invitation, mainly because I haven’t been here for many years, and I wouldn’t know where to start with the invitations.” Plus you got to know more people with an open invite didn’t you?

When Caitrin released her friend, she almost felt like she was coming back to reality somewhat. She was going to be fine, her and Griff were going to have a family. They’d conceived one child before now, so she was sure a second wasn’t too far away in their thoughts. It wasn’t like they were apart much anymore. No, if anything they were more heated than ever, if that were even possible. She began to wipe her eyes on the dipped sleeve of her gown and laughed at herself. “Look at me, Jesu, I’m a mess.” A justifiable mess, but she still felt like she was a mess. For a woman who was always incredibly strong, and never let her emotions slip, this was quite something for Caitrin. She didn’t mind so much in front of Yassia though, mainly because she was such a good friend. She’d seen all the best parts of her, now she could see the worst parts as well. Perhaps that was good for them in a way. Caitrin did trust Yassia an incredible amount, and this was just further proof of that. “I don’t know how to thank you Yassia, this is a massive relief.” She inclined her head to the bedchamber where she had left Griff asleep, “For both of us.” A family was always something she and Griff had jested about, and toyed with, but they’d always wanted one. That was one of the few things they completely agreed on. She looked back to her friend and just smiled, showing she was truly fine, once her emotions settled she was sure she would be completely fine.

In all the upset and sudden uproar of emotion, Caitrin had almost forgotten Yassia had come to call on her at this late hour. She wondered if her friend had a purpose in such a call, and she would have brought this up earlier if she’d been in her right frame of mind. She almost felt flustered it had taken her this long to pick up on it actually. “Forgive me for not asking earlier, but was there anything you wanted? It’s just its late and I would have asked earlier, but, well, you know.” She broke off, a little sheepish and just managed a small smile at her friend as she found her original seat by the fire.

[Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha]

Now their planning was getting concrete, and Yassia could feel her excitement grow with the minute. Her thoughts started to focus entirely on the details of the party and now also on what dress she might have want to be made, which tuned out all other, sometimes gloomy thoughts she might have had tonight. She could only be thankful to Caitrin for that, and she knew it. Leaving every other thought aside, Yassia inwardly went through her small wardrobe, checking what designs and colors she already had, and what she would want more. Of course, she wouldn’t want too many similarly looking dresses, but then the dark green had been always the color of her dynasty, and shouldn’t she represent her country in foreign lands. Apart from that, she just didn’t know any color that suited her better than green. Maybe she should ask for Caitrin’s opinion there?
”Well, my kingdom’s color, or rather the Dyfrène color is green, as you might have noticed by my choice of clothing so far”, she began. “I wouldn’t know many other colors that suited me, since many of my gowns throughout the years have always beena shade of green. What would you think? And style-wise… what is the latest fashion of Mercia?”

So, and open invitation it would be. Yassia was fine with that, as she had never been averse to meeting new people. She wondered how many would follow this open invitation, and for Caitrin’s sake she hoped it would be many. A private feast would be nice as well, but this should be something for her friend to remember for a lifetime, almost as important as the actual wedding. Nothing should go wrong, and Caitrin should have the best crowd imaginable. “I’m sure many would want to see you after all the time you’ve been gone, right?” she commented, leaning back and folding her hands. “This will be a splendid night… but maybe we should keep the performance of the Soléa until the end, when some guests have already gone? I don’t know how some people might react to it, after all.” Yassia smiled. Courts might be different all over the world, but there were always some manners-witches about. It seemed to be something inevitable when it came to court life. There were the free spirits, those in between and the stickler to manners and customs, most of them old maids or widows.

Yassia let go a relieved chuckle at Caitrin’s comment. This was the best sign that Caitrin was getting back to normal, if she started to care about what she must appear as. Not that Yassia thought her friend vain or something similar, but it meant that more prominent worries had been succesfully soothed. She couldn’t be gladder about it, only now when the inspection was through, she realized how much Caitrin’s revellation had shocked her and how fervently she herself had clung to the thought of everything being alright, which she now knew was the case. “You’re allowed to!” she assured Caitrin, still chuckling, and taking a step back. “And I’ve seen far worse, believe me!”
Smiling, she then shook her head. “You don’t have to thank me at all, dear, I am glad I had the knowledge and skills to help you, but this is not my doing. Thank your spirits, if you must, for bringing us together and I’ll thank my mother for training me.”

Over all this talking and the intense past few minutes. Yassia had all but forgotten why she had checked on Caitrin in the first place, and she needed a minute to collect her thoughts and trying to recall. What had directed her steps here? Then she remembered. The sleeplessness, the many thoughts circling around in her head, most of them revolving around Oliver, of course, and the many times they had seem to come so close these last few days. But she had not wanted to speak of that… she just had wanted a little distraction, and it had worked out extremely well.
”I came to find some peace and distraction in your company”, she said softly, smiling. “I’ve hardly been able to take a moment for myself these days, or some time with my best friend. I’m glad I got it now.”

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin cocked her head to the side slightly, trying to imagine Yassia in a beautiful green dress for her pre-wedding feast. It wasn’t hard to imagine of course, because it seemed like it was her natural colour; it did suit her so well after all. Caitrin was just usually in blue or purple, and those were her main colours, though she did have a rainbow of gowns at home. Griff often made a comment about that fact, but she didn’t care, she needed them. It took a lot of effort to look as good as she did all the time. “Green will be fine, it will suit you perfectly, as well as show off your kingdom.” Caitrin pointed out reasonably. Well, style wise, that was another matter, “Dresses are supposed to be quite fitted in Mercia, like a lot of my gowns are at the moment, with a square cut neck.” Caitrin drew against her chest how low the dress would cut, and winked at Yassia, “I have always thought that men control the fashion world, as they benefit from the view.” Men always got their fair share of views of the ladies of court because of their dresses, and though Caitrin knew this, she didn’t really mind. She used it to her advantage most of the time, though she knew Yassia was more reserved than she was, so she might have been put off by such fashions.

An open invitation certainly was the way to go, mainly because Caitrin wanted it to be an incredibly loud and social event. She didn’t want a small little intimate dinner, no, she wanted everyone to be merry on hers and Griff’s behalf. She wanted to dance the night away and fill herself with wine and the finest foods in Mercia. It would certainly be a night to remember. She didn’t have to worry about the amount of people turning up either, if she asked Oliver, he might send the invites on her behalf, and no one would insult a Prince of Mercia by refusing his invite. “It will certainly be a lively evening, and yes I agree, the dance should wait until the end of the evening.” Then there would be less time between Griff seeing it and being able to act; it worked for everyone really. She smiled to herself, her friend was probably thinking in completely different terms to her, but Caitrin had always had a free and liberal outlook on that side of life, and nothing would change that. She only had eyes for Griff though in that respect, and that would never change.

The worries were starting to lessen in Caitrin’s mind, and she was starting to settle. The darkness, and her fears were starting to leave her, and now she could just concentrate on the family she and Griff were going to have, rather than the one they had lost. Though she would never completely move on from what had happened, this could be the start of a new chapter in her life. She wiped the last tears from her eyes, and found she was just grinning at her friend. “I shall thank everything, mark my words.” She jested with a soft chuckle; she would certainly be praying to the spirits before bed at any rate.

It was quite sweet that Yassia had just come to seek out her company. Caitrin smiled at her friend and took her hand, squeezing it softly, “I’m sorry I haven’t made more time for you since we arrived. I’ve been busy with Griff.” Now she said it, it sounded harsh and she pressed her lips together. She had been showing Griff Mercia in all it’s finery, seeing as she didn’t intend to come back after this little visit.

[Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha]

Yassia had already seen what gowns were fashionable in Mercia, but she still had wanted to make sure. After all, the main female company she had been with during the last few days were the Lady Adelaide and Caitrin. Lady Adelaide surely wasn’t prone to run around with tightly fitting dresses and deep cleavages, since she was one: a middle-aged woman and mother, and two: Queen of Mercia. That was a status of repute and should be filled with dignity and grace, just like Lady Adelaide did. And Caitrin… well, Caitrin was Caitrin. Yassia had always seen her in dresses that were well befitting to her physical attractions, so she probably didn’t even realize it anymore. Yassia had long since learned to see past that and forget her different believes when it came to being open about these things, for their friendship’s sake. While still back in Ailantha, she had been as closed-up as the last spinster about physical attraction towards men, but she feared – or hoped? – being so often around Caitrin had loosened her up considerably. Still, there were principles she would not forgo, not even for custom’s sake.
She gave a playful sigh as Caitrin showed her the possible cut. “Men are so obvious sometimes, but why are the women going along with it? I mean, do they really like that no one EVER looks them in the face when talking? I would find that mildly disturbing, to be honest.”

The rough outlines were being set now, and Yassia couldn’t be more glad. This would be a splendid evening, one they all would look back on with a smile for some time to come. And she would do her best to make it happen, too. No gloomy thoughts, no miserable business going on and above all no arguments. She would behave as civil around Oliver as she could without letting her guard down. That ought to be possible, right? Anything was possible, if you only wanted it, her being here showed that clearly. The stars favored the bold and those who tried to take their destiny into their very own hands. Well… in theory. They had yet to show their favor on Yassia, but maybe she was just being ingrateful. After all, help seemed just within her grasp now, she couldn’t have asked for more!
”Oh, while we’re at it”, she said, suddenly getting a thought, “do you have some kind of shawl or scarf to use as an acessoire in the Soléa? I could show you how to use it as surplus effect, if you want. Or you can try it out yourself.”

In Yassia’s eyes there really was nothing wrong with Caitrin spending so much time with Griff. They were in love after all, and by the way Caitrin had talked about her connection to Mercia and her remaining family here, there was no saying, if she ever would return here. This might very well be her own silent goodbye to it all, and she needed to share that with Griff.
”Don’t you worry about a thing!” she therefore reassured her friend. “You better spend as much time with Griff as you can, after all you have to know before, if you will get fed with up with his presence after a mere week of constantly being together.” She grinned and winked. “And not AFTER the vows have been taken. Besides, I had royal company in the very meaning of the word, I can’t very well complain.”

[Caitrin de Archer]

It was sometimes easy for Caitrin to forget how sensitive Yassia was to things which Caitrin just saw as the norm. For her, she had always donned that cut of dress, so she had always been used to the attention that it brought with it, and she always enjoyed it. She just gave Yassia a small nod and smile, because she knew her friend was so much more reserved and more respectful than she would ever be. Caitrin would never say either of them did things the right way or the wrong way, they were just different, and that was why they got along so well really. “You do get a lot of attention with that cut of dress, yes.” Caitrin agreed softly, but then leaned towards her friend with a wicked grin plastered upon her face, “But you need to learn how to handle and use that attention.” She winked at her friend, sure that Yassia wouldn’t change her ways upon her advice, which was probably a good thing in its own way really. She smiled to herself and ran her fingers through her hair as she sat back, “We shall sort out the cuts of the dresses anyway with the seamstress tomorrow, she can work miracles with a needle, so we are both in good hands.” It was true, the womans talent surpassed anyone else’s in the whole of Mercia, and that wasn’t even an exaggeration.

Caitrin pressed her lips together and shook her head, “I don’t sorry.” She had only brought warm cloaks and dresses with her to Mercia, she hadn’t really planned that far ahead, “Perhaps I can track down one tomorrow?” Caitrin was sure she could track down a silk trader in the Mercian markets. They were well known to be quite diverse and full of life anyway, so she was sure she could find something to compliment the dance that they would be enacting. Caitrin only had one aim in that dance, and it was to see how much self control her intended husband had. She smiled inwardly, they were probably all in for a fantastic night all round, and her time with Griff was just one part of that.

Well, at least Caitrin didn’t have to fear that she had offended Yassia by spending so much time with her fiancée. After all, she did love Griff, and she felt bad in a way that she had brought him here. Griff didn’t want to be in Mercia because it was cold and Caitrin didn’t care much to be here because her family were here. They wouldn’t be staying much longer, and that much was certain. She didn’t want to run into her father, and she didn’t want Griff to meet him either. Jesu, she just wanted to forget the past and focus on her future with Griff. “Well, we don’t have to worry about getting sick of living together, and that’s for sure.” She wined at her friend, she really was totally smitten with Griff, and she would be kidding anyone if she denied it. “Oh, has Oliver been keeping you busy?” Caitrin asked brightly at her friend question, she knew Yassia probably meant his brother, but she couldn’t care less about him. She was still convinced that there was something going on between Yassia and Oliver, no matter what both of them said.

[Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha]

So so, she should get used to such attention… a few months before Yassia might have been offended by the sheer suggestion, but now she had changed and it came from Caitrin anyway. Caitrin might be different than Yassia in so many ways, but she would never try harm her on purpose. There was no malice in her words, just teasing between friends. And she was nothing if not ready to accept and even return that kind of teasing, even more so now as a huge load had been lifted off both their shoulders in the previous minutes. They needed a little lighthearted banter with no ill feelings attached. “And what would I do with a handful of men swarming around me like bees around a flower, practically drooling and noticing nothing but my deep cleavage?” she asked, grinning back. “Of what use could they be in the end? Or are you going to tell me now that not everything in life is about ‘use’ and ‘purpose’?”
The praise for the seamstress however eased Yassia’s mind a little. If she could do miracles, then maybe she would also be able to create a dress that would satisfy both her and Caitrin’s interests concerning the evening. There had to be a way to look desireable without it being too scandalous. But wait… why would she want to look desireable on that evening anyway?! Where her thoughts had been heading again…! “Good then, I’m glad”, she quickly replied to mask her confusion. “It is really amazing how quickly we’re going to throw such an event. But I’m sure everything will work out perfectly.”

It wasn’t a desaster Caitrin had no shawl with her in her wardrobe, and in all honesty Yassia had thought it a long shot anyway. While being in Albion, she had not run across too many of these attires, not with the noble population anyway. There were quite a few peasants and maids wearing shawls over their dresses for comfort and for cold nights, but that was not exactly the type Yassia had in mind. She didn’t know why, but the Soléa was often danced with a shawl at one part of the dance, maybe to make it look more mysterious.
”It’s no problem”, she assured her friend. “If you can’t find one, you can have one of mine, I’ve taken a few with me from Camelot, for the cold.” She winked at Caitrin, sure that she wouldn’t find Mercia as cold as a woman from the south.

Yassia didn’t really want to think about, why exactly Caitrin and Griff would never tire of each other’s company. That was simply too private, something she had no and wouldn’t want any insight in. Of course, life wouldn’t be all about that, and they must have many things in common, or at least being able to tolerate their difference, if they managed to stay together without bickering too much. Would Yassia ever find such a match? Well, she probably would have to be content with someone that didn’t bore her to death. There was no place for high standards in her life plan. But then she realized she would have rather stayed with THAT topic after all, if it meant they could stay clear of Oliver. Sweet stars, why did Cait have to bring him up constantly?!
”I more meant Edmund”, she tried to extricate herself, “Oliver’s … trying to be what he calls a ‘friend’. Not sure, if we’re doing well on that department though. There’s just too much underlying tension.” And the worst part of it was that she couldn’t even define what sort of tension it was. There encounters were differing as night from day. Today had been a good example. The chase through the forest was still fresh in her agitated mind… and also what it almost had led to…

[Caitrin de Archer]

Oh, it did amuse Caitrin sometimes at how different Yassia was to herself. Sometimes she had to remind herself not to be so radical, or liberal around Yassia, well a little bit didn’t hurt, but she knew as well that where Caitrin had no issue with being the centre of male attention, it wasn’t Yassia’s scene in the same way. It wasn’t a bad thing, no, most would say it was much better than Caitrin’s way of living anyway as before Griff she had been the subject of many a man’s attentions, and she had revelled in that sort of attention. That was until Griff had walked into her life though, and now she only had an interest in enticing him, and seeing how long he could last with only satisfying himself by looking at her. “Well, I know what I would do.” Caitrin winked at Yassia, she was only jesting, perhaps she would have been a bit more serious about her intentions a few years ago, but she had grown up and matured a lot since then, but still, she had her reputation to maintain in many aspects. She shrugged at Yassia, “Well, you just need to know how to use everything to its full potential. Most things are an opportunity.” That was certainly true of many things, with men you could always have a bit of fun toying with them though, they were oh so easy to wrap around your finger.

Hopefully the whole evening would come together, Caitrin was sure it would do, feasts had been called at much shorter notice after all, and they had been here for quite some time already. Caitrin really was looking forwards to the evening; it would be so wonderful to celebrate her engagement in her native kingdom, with her friends around her. “I’m sure it will, though it doesn’t have to be perfect.” Caitrin would be happy with whatever Oliver put together, and Griff would be happy as long as the room was warm and there was ale flowing. The issue of having a scarf or something to use in the dance wasn’t really an issue at all, at a stretch Caitrin could ask the seamstress to make something in that sort of style of design so she would at least be semi-authentic. It would be fine on the night, and she was sure that it would all be well received. “If I can’t find anything suitable I shall let you know.” Caitrin said with a soft smile, it would give her an excuse to look round the Mercian markets in the morning, and drag Griff around with her. Oh, he would just love that. “If you need things for the cold then you should speak to Griff, he has been complaining bitterly of it since we arrived.” Caitrin rolled her eyes. Her fiancée was many things, and sensitive to the northern weather was one of those things. She couldn’t understand his problem, it wasn’t that cold, in fact it was beautifully mild, but he was insisting that it was practically winter.

Really, she wasn’t surprised that Yassia actually was talking about Edmund, but she was still convinced that her friend held the flame for Oliver, and not his older brother. She couldn’t understand why she felt like that, but eventually she would prove it, or at least she would hope to. She was glad that she didn’t ignore the comment about Oliver though, and that lighted Caitrin’s suspicions, “Why, what’s he been doing? I’ve not seen him much either since arriving.” Perhaps if Yassia spoke it over with her then some detail would emerge, or Caitrin would see her friend blush or just anything to confirm there was a spark there.

[Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha]

Of course Caitrin would know what she would do… Yassia gave a playful sigh and an eyeroll, shaking her head at her friend, as if she was truly a lost case. Well, maybe concerning men she really was, even though now she gladly had Griff and wouldn’t so readily flirt with just anyone. Yassia still remembered her jealousy attack when she had thought Caitrin and Oliver had once shared more than a quick flirtatious kiss. How silly she had been! She should know her friend by now, really. Now, she had learned to distance herself mentally from these things; it was better than getting all worked up about a handling of things that wasn’t her own. “And I’m not gonna do you the favor and ask what exactly you mean by that”, she gave back with a grin. The thought of using her womanly attributes to gain something was truly a foreign one to Yassia, even though she had seen it done by others many times, even in Ailantha where such things were usually frowned upon. It just had never been her way, but lately she had begun to reflect a little more and found a rather disturbing constant in her life.”Until now, I fear it has rather been the other way around. Men using ME to gain something they want. My uncle… Vortigern, King Cenred… and instead of turning the table around, I just always ran. Do you think that would have been different if I was… a little more like you?” Her voice was unsure, doubtful, Yassia really had no idea if her hazarding made any sense.

Yassia gave a quick smile when Caitrin said she didn’t aim for perfection. That was another trait she admired about her friend, Cait seemed able to take everything like it came her way, accepting it without further ado and moulding it so she could still gain something from it. Where did you learn to be so world-savvy? She’d really like to take one of those lessons too! In her head, she was already sorting out the handful of shawls she had brought with her, thinking which one might suit Caitrin’s rough outline of dress choice best. Even though the piece of cloth would be used only for a quick few moments in the dance, it should still harmonize with the rest of the clothing, of course. The solea was a dance of proud ostentation, something that would suit Catrin’s character very well, but Yassia maybe not so much. She had never planned on doing this dance in public, and in front of men nonetheless, but she tried to appease herself with the promise they would never know how scandalous this dance was deemed in Ailantha, only danced by the women in the villages. To her Mercian spectators, they would surely see the promise of that dance, but they might be less offended if they thought it to be something ‘typical’ Ailanthan. Yassia didn’t like to lie, but the alternative was just too shameful to even be taken into consideration.
“I’m quite fine with my choice of clothing, I think”, she joked when the talk once again returned to Griff and his fear of the cold. “I’m not trembling or anything, winters in Ailantha can be quite cold as well.”

What’s he been doing?! For a moment Yassia wondered if her friend even remembered what she had told her about what had happened on the riverbank. If Caitrin remembered, was that question really meant as innocent as it seemed? Was she maybe teasing her? And then, she never had explicitely asked what they had been interrupting when catching up on Yassia and Oliver after the chasing in the woods… because she didn’t care to know… or because she guessed something?! Suddenly, Yassia felt like she was extremely on display, and it made her uncomfortable beyond belief. “What… what do you mean?” she inquired hesitantly, maybe not the most clever way to act around Caitrin’s keen and perceptive mind.

[Caitrin de Archer]

It was probably wise that Yassia didn’t want her to elaborate because Caitrin wasn’t sure where she would start. Well, she was sure that Yassia wouldn’t want to hear anything she had to say anyway. What she and Griff got up to between the sheets was their business, and she should probably keep it to herself anyway. She grinned, coughing slightly and looking at the floor before she inclined her head towards Yassia. “That’s probably for the best.” There was some things you didn’t want to know about your friends, and she knew that though she was quite liberal, Yassia was quite refined in that aspect. It wasn’t a bad thing, it was just different, and Caitrin respected that. Her friends next words did concern her somewhat and she chewed her bottom lip. Though Caitrin was a lot louder and more confident in some ways than Yassia, it didn’t make her a stronger person. Caitrin wasn’t sure if she would have been able to go through what Yassia had, and still be able to act with such a free heart. Caitrin just looked on at her, and frowned slightly, shaking her head. No, Yassia wouldn’t want to be like her, it wouldn’t have helped her at all. Really, Caitrin just used her words and confidence to cover everything else up. It was a mask she had worn for years, and Griff was one of the only people who could take off that mask, and see her for what she really was. “Do you think I was strong when I came up against Vortigern?” She asked her, though it wasn’t in an irritated tone, it was one of intrigue because she hadn’t felt strong, and she still didn’t. “I wasn’t strong against Vortigern in any respect, I was weak and naive in so many respects.” Because she had done so much she regretted, and she didn’t want to relive all of that again.

Well at least one of the visitors was coping with the night. Griff spent most of the time complaining, so even the fire in their room was on all the time. He only stopped complaining when she was in bed with him, to keep him warm as well. Well, he had still tried to complain, but Caitrin hadn’t let him away with it for long. Instead she’d occupied his thoughts somewhat in the way only a woman could. “Griff will never get used to the Mercian cold.” For Caitrin it was in her blood, so it never bothered her that much. She just got on with it, as she had since she was a young girl. She had never known anything else, so she often felt like the Camelotian weather was quite exotic. “So it is fortunate we live in Camelot, not Mercia.” Caitrin knew she would never move back to Mercia now, she had found her home elsewhere, with her Uncle Rouland. Her only regret was probably not making the move earlier.

Caitrin felt like she had uncovered something quite by accident, and she just grinned at Yassia wondering what her next move should be. “Well, I just wondered if you had seen anymore of Oliver than I have.” She was still trying to play the innocent in some respects, “I’ve been preoccupied with Griff you see, but I know you would have had more time to enjoy Mercia and it’s company.” That was the best way she could think to put it.

[Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha]

Yassia returned the almost conspiratorial smile that was shared between the two friends and was glad the topic was then put aside. Maybe one day she would be able to talk about these kind of things more freely, but then it was simply not how she had been brought up. It was so very reassuring to know that Caitrin accepted her different views, and friendly teasing about it every now and again was all part of that amiable acceptance. Yassia did it enough herself anyway, it was an excellent topic to tease Caitrin about, even though this girl would probably never blush. She hadn’t expected such a strong negative reaction from Caitrin however, but she SHOULD have expected her bringing up the one negative experience they shared: Meeting and having to deal with Vortigern. Of course she had that in the back of her head everytime she thought about being mistreated, as he had been by far the worst experience she ever had had. And she had NOT lived through it gracefully. Even a year after it had happened, Yassia still could feel the worms of shame eating away at her guts when she thought about what he had made her do. He had played her like a puppeteer and even though she had been stubborn and resisting at first, in the end she had always done what he wished… because he just always had had the upper hand on her. “Do you think I was any better?” she retorted bitterly. “He had me begging on my knees before him! And he enjoyed every minute of it. I begged for my eyesight, I begged for a crust of bread… I would have even begged for my life had he had any time to let it come to that. So don’t tell me about weakness, please, Caitrin. I’m sure he wouldn’t have been able to push you that far.”

She gave a short laugh at Griff’s supposed immnunity to change, as she well could envision that sort of scenario. Even if he had long since accustomed to the cold, Yassia had an inkling Griff would just keep on pretending for the fun of it, to rile Caitrin up, he just seemed to be that kind of person. But then, maybe Caitrin knew that as well, and she would play along to it. A boy from the south and a girl from the north of Albion… even though Yassia herself was living proof that that was by no means the greatest difference you could have. Her mother had crossed a whole continent, and now she had made that journey backwards. “And even when you’re both old and grey, he will still argue about the cold north I bet”, she joked. “Just because he can. Who knows, maybe he doesn’t even feel cold at all anymore, he just likes to see you roll your eyes.”

She still wondered what exactly Caitrin might be getting at. Was this really nothing but a few innocent questions, or was she led towards some sort of trap right now without seeing it? After all, Caitrin DID know she had seen Oliver before, she knew about the incident by the river and she had been there when they got caught by the hunting party. But… other than that?
“Well… YOU got followed by Jeremy in the chase”, she admitted a little uneasily. “And I by Oliver, even though he didn’t know who I was. But you’d already know that, you found us a bit later after all…” Please, stars, don’t let me blush now!! she prayed. Nothing happened after all…nothing that was blush-worthy at least… but almost… She inwardly squared her shoulders and pushed that thought aside. Who could say what MIGHT have happened, that was of no consequence, as no one could see into a possible future.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin didn’t really want to go into her time with Vortigern, it wasn’t anything against Yassia, but she hadn’t told anyone what he had done to her. It had been the first time in her life where she had felt completely helpless and useless. He had beaten and tormented her the entire way home, to the point where she had finally cracked. Jesu, she had tried to stand up to him, but nothing had worked. He’d always bitten back harder. His emotions were sub human, Caitrin was sure of it. She had been on the floor, in tears cradling the arm he had nearly torn out of its socket and yet he had still been there, shouting at her, and abusing her. He had abused her in the most intimate of ways though, and the fact she couldn’t remember it made it worse. Of course her time had come to her, and Vortigern hadn’t left a lasting impact on her life. She had slowly began to get her confidence back, and the fact no one else had known about the incident had made it easier in a way, because she had only been reminded of it if she had chosen to think about it. It had all soon been forgotten, and now Caitrin had a completely different life, one she was going to spend with Griff. “You would be surprised.” Was all Caitrin could think to say without snapping at her friend. She had no idea what he had done to Yassia, but Yassia had no idea what he had done to Caitrin either. She didn’t really want to dwell on this topic much more, because these times belonged firmly in the past.

She had almost given up hope that Griff would warm to the conditions in Mercia. She knew he was from the south, but Caitrin didn’t know that he was so unseasoned to the cold weather. She had grown up used to the long winters, and most of her childhood had been wrapped up in cloaks and furs. After all, Mercia had been the homeland of the de Archer’s for generations. Her father had once said that the fact they were so used to the cold was in their blood. “He will never be used to the cold, even at home he dislikes it when there is a chill in the air.” More often than not Caitrin was too hot where Griff was too cold. She was sure he only used it as an excuse to get her back into bed with him, to warm him up.

Caitrin chuckled a little, “Jeffrey did a good job with hunting me down.” Her brother had been quite pleased with himself when he had cut off her path, and had pulled down her hood. He had been surprised of course, that his little sister had been causing so much trouble, along with her friend. Though he hadn’t chastised her, he’d just laughed it off and had then ridden beside her. Caitrin knew she was unlikely to get much more out of Yassia on this topic, especially as she seemed so against giving her anything. Then again, if there was anything in what Caitrin suspected, then it would show itself soon enough. “Well, I’m sure he was satisfied with his catch.” She winked at Yassia, “Is he looking forwards to the feast as well?”

[Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha]

Yassia knew her friend well enough by now to know she had entered far too dangerous ground by suggesting her own ordeal had been harder than Caitrin’s. Who was she to judge anyway, she hadn’t been there after all! She had no ideas about the details, and she didn’t even desire to know them. They both knew what Vortigern had been and probably still was capable of concerning violence and oppression, and she had no right to put her own memories over those of her friend, just because she knew them better. If Caitrin was now mad at her, Yassia wouldn’t blame her, not even in the slightest. She felt shabby all of a sudden and didn’t know what to say. She just shook her head rather helplessly and raked a hand through her hair, as she always did when she felt uncomfortable and allowed it to show. It was a gesture she only reserved for when she was with friends… and Oliver had also elicited this reaction from her from the start. “Probably”, she gave in with a sigh. “Forgive me if I came across as insensitive that was by no means my intention.” Vortigern was a sensitive topic for them both, and left their emotions exposed and vulnerable.

Griff and the cold… that might really be a problem they would still discuss when they both already had grandchildren. It WAS something for old people to wail about and so it was highly amusing Caitrin’s fiancé felt troubled by it right now, while he hadn’t even reached the prime of his years. “I suppose, telling him how little manly that sounds, if a young man nags about temperature and such things, will not help?” she asked with an almost mischievous grin. Yassia was not the type for such jibes, but she knew exactly who would be: Oliver. Giving him a little hint might be a mean thing, but then it was nothing but a gentle teasing amongst friends, right? Oh dear, now she was already starting to think about telling him something to use against Griff?! No, she couldn’t do that! She mustn’t constantly search for opportunities to speak with him! This had gone far enough!

How far it actually had gone Caitrin didn’t even know and as much as Yassia trusted and loved her friend, this was something she intended to keep to herself as much as possible. Too deep was the confusion Yassia felt herself, too deep sat the mixture of shame and desire she didn’t understand. Even to think about what had happened, how completely she had let herself go in the heat of the moment, brought a red hue to her skin. Oliver surely had been… eager to make the most of his unsuspected opportunity. But was this really his fault? No, certainly not in everything. Yassia should have never let herself comply to this moment, however tempting it was. If she counted together the moments when Oliver and her had almost or really kissed in the last few days… what was she thinking?!
“Well, at first he was rather angry”, she tried to sidestep the real question. “Before he realized who I was. His horse even caused mine to throw me off. But well… you saw for yourself I wasn’t too hurt. And yes, I think he is, but then of course I don’t know his mind.”

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin really just wanted to forget her time with Vortigern. She had never really spoken about it with anyone, not even Griff. Yassia was probably the only one who knew that she had ever had some experience with the man, but even she didn’t know the ins and out of it. She shifted slightly in her chair, and looked down at the fire. Really, she had wanted to forget about that day, and what she had gone through with him. She had never been so humiliated and helpless in all her life. Up until then, Caitrin had always thought she was so strong, and able to handle anything, but Vortigern had shown her just how weak, and it had changed her. She couldn’t say it was for the worst either. “I didn’t think you were being insensitive.” Caitrin said warmly, with a soft smile to match it. After all, Yassia had no idea what had happened to her at Vortigern’s hands. “It’s just not something I find... easy to talk about.” She explained vaguely, and began to fiddle with the ring on her finger. She wondered if she would ever tell Griff what had happened to her that night. It was hardly likely to happen again, she was sure he had drugged and then forced her into bed with him. She had found it so hard to trust again after that, but these things healed with time, and she was a stronger woman now.

She laughed as Yassia spoke of Griff not seeming manly if he complained about the weather and being cold. It was just something that she had come to expect with him. Griff complaining about the weather was a large feature of their relationship; her room back at her Uncle’s home was now furnished with blankets and the like for when he joined her. “I’m sure he just says it to make me feel sorry for him.” She wrapped her arms around her body, and gave a wide smile, “And I always fall for it.” That was probably the reason that he kept saying it really, whenever he said that he was cold she would fetch a blanket, or get them both some wine, and settle with him. She would get annoyed about it if she didn’t enjoy the result as much as he did. Jesu, they were as bad as each other really.

Though Caitrin still held the opinion that there was much more to this than Yassia was letting on, she was sure pressing the issue wasn’t going to get her anywhere. Something would happen or it wouldn’t; life had a funny habit of being like that. Like for instance, she and Griff had their differences in the past, but they had clearly been meant for one another, and here they were, practically married in all but name anyway. “We shouldn’t have wound him up so much; he could have hurt you, and it would have been my fault.” Caitrin wouldn’t have been able to live with herself if some harm had come to her friend because of her stupidity. Nothing had happened though, and that was the important thing. Caitrin pressed her lips together and made a quick study of her friend, sure that she wasn’t going to get anything else out of her tonight. “I am not in the least bit tired.” She suddenly declared and set her goblet down gently, “What would you say to a quick walk?”

[Yassia Dyfrène de Ailantha]

Yassia could only understand that sentiment of Caitrin’s about Vortigern. It was something she had deeply closed into herself, and Caitrin was the only one she had told more than a few vague snippets here and there. Even Mircea had not known everything, he had only seen some effects on it, but had promised her he would never probe, for which she had been thankful. From what she guessed however, Vortigern might have treated Caitrin far worse than herself, since she knew the prince and knew how he treated those he thought below himself. She might have been his prisoner and at his mercy, but she had still been a princess, of the same rank, and if he had an ounce of respect left in his rotten bones, then it was for nobility and royalty. People below his rank of a prince didn’t stand a chance. There were rumors of his cruelty about, rumors Yassia never had wanted to believe, but her friend was probably a good example for Vortigern stopping at nothing. “We don’t have to talk about it at all, you know. This man occupies our thoughts far too much, even after all this time. When I am safely restored, I will find a way of dealing with him. Then we will see.” Not that Yassia would want to provoke war with Vortigern, but he needed to be shown his place once and for all.

She chuckled once again a little awkwardly, imaginging Griff’s ploys to get Caitrin to be near him. Oh, both men and women had their ways, had they not? Just that Yassia wasn’t that kind of person, and she probably never would be. In her world, this kind of things were never mentioned, at least not with those present that were not yet married. Yassia had never found anything wrong with that, but recently she wondered, if Caitrin and Griff were so happy together, so obviously enjoying each other’s company, if she wasn’t maybe missing out on something. And then she would scold herself for even harbouring such scandalous thoughts and yearn to change the subject. Which she now intended as well.“Anyway… this might convince him to accompany you to Ailantha once, it’s in the mountains, but still warmer than here.”


This and Caitrin’s fault?! Where did she pull that idea from in the star’s name?! Well, the pranking and looking for the men had been Caitrin’s idea in the first place, but Yassia had consented to it after all. There was nothing to feel sorry for, and she really needed that to get into her friend’s head! “I agreed to the prank, so I take full responsibility for my actions”, she assured Caitrin, even though part of these words were mere lip service. Did she really claim responsibility for ALL of her actions? Even those Caitrin didn’t know of? She had not worked against the forbidden kiss Oliver and her had shared, she had encouraged him! She was as pathetic as the next person and if she took full responsibility on that, she might as well admit that she still loved this man despite what he had done and said to her. But that was inacceptable!
”I would love a little walk indeed!” she replied, glad to apparently have been let off the hook that easily after all. “Maybe the stars are out again. Heaven knows I could need their guidance right now, even though they have been exceptionally kind to me recently. I’m sure you can show me a few places of these grounds the princes have failed to show me, because they don’t see their significance.”