Terrible Love (Philip)

[Caitrin de Archer]

It was quite a pleasant sort of day, even if not much else could be said for it. Summer was at one of its highest points, and Caitrin was finally taking full advantage of it. Though she had been expecting to be spending it out of doors, she hadn’t been expecting to be having the day with Pip, rather than Griff. She had been waiting rather idly at the estate, almost praying for something to happen. Pip had turned up out of the blue, as was his way, and had suggested they take their usual trade out of doors. She had grinned and just let him lead her on, like she always did. Most would think it strange for an engaged woman to be so familiar with another man, especially one who was not known to her husband. Caitrin didn’t see it like that though, it was never as simple as black and white with her and Pip; it never had been. She often found herself unable to refuse him; he knew she was engaged, yet he came back all the same, and gave her a few hours of solace. Eventually she would tell him to stop calling on her, she would just have to get around to it.

Caitrin was linking her arm casually with Pip’s, slightly put out that he hadn’t yet been as bold, or advanced their meeting as much as he usually would. She looked round at him, almost expectantly for a few moments. She knew he wasn’t to be rushed, and as long as she got what she wanted, and vice versa, no doubt that they would both leave here happy. She always got what she wanted, even if Pip insisted on making her wait. Caitrin knew though, in her heart of hearts, that Pip shouldn’t be here at all. Really, it should be Griff taking her hand, and it should be him she was waiting on to be bold, and make advances towards her. As of late though, Griff had been less and less interested in her.

She couldn’t understand what was wrong with Griff, everything had been fine, or at least she had thought everything had been going fine, but then he had stopped calling on her as much. Even when they were together, it was never as intense or tender as it had been, like his mind was always elsewhere. She had asked him about it, but she never got anything from him. Caitrin had tried to put it from her mind, they were engaged, and soon to be wed, and nothing would change that. No doubt she was making a big thing out of nothing, but she couldn’t help feel like there was something else there. Something she couldn’t put her finger on. She wasn’t about to let that stop her afternoon with Pip though, and she managed to grin up at him, and ran her fingers along his arm, “Did you have any particular plans for this afternoon, my Lord?” Caitrin’s suggestion ran through her voice as easily as it usually did when Pip was around, “I hope you aren’t going to disappoint me after all this time.”

Tagged: Philip de Calmot
Timeline: A few months before the s3 finale
Time of Day: Afternoon
Location: The forests behind the de Archer estate[/color][/size]

[Philip de Calmot]

Although Philip was still spending time with Caitrin de Archer and still treating her as he always had, he had long since stopped caring about her. His attentions had waned. She was no longer an object of interest herself, but rather simply a pawn in a much larger game. A more sentimental man would think her naivety quite endearing, but then a more sentimental man probably wouldn’t be in this position in the first place. But none of that mattered to Philip. He was in the middle of a plan and so was rather single minded at present. He supposed that he had to give Caitrin one thing: she was useful, if a little full of her own self-import. She seemed to think he actually cared about her – yes, that was the point but it was still very irritating. Usually, he found the whole thing amusing, but he’d tired of her somewhat. The only reason why he hadn’t just stopped bothering with her altogether was her relationship with the Aubert boy.

It was all rather fortunate really. Philip had been begrudgingly sent for by Corneous Aubert. It wasn’t enough that the man held his father’s lands, Philip’s lands, now he wanted his custom as well. Normally, Philip would not have bothered. His sense of pride was far greater than his desire for money. Last time however was different because last time he’d seen the Aubert boy. He’d been given an opportunity. It was easy enough to get the conversation with Corneous to Griff – how was he and how was Lucan and had Griff by any chance formed an attachment with a young lady...? Philip had shrugged and Corneous had told him everything he’d needed to know. He’d even presented him with the Lady Eirian to take back to Camelot with him. It was times like these that Philip was quite unable to believe his luck.

Obviously, he did not show these feelings – it was something he didn’t do anyway but certainly not in such circumstances. He was supposed to be being concerned and sympathetic, not pleased that he’d found a way to make one of the Auberts suffer. It was no surprise then that he did not match Caitrin’s grin. “I’m afraid disappointing you is exactly what I’m going to do. There’s something you need to know.”

[Caitrin de Archer]

A part of Caitrin hated these moments, and wanted them to stop. She shouldn’t be out here with Pip, she knew that. Really, she should be in Camelot, or at wherever it was that Griff seemed to stay when he wasn’t at the estate to find out what exactly was the matter with him, rather than being out here with another man. It didn’t feel like it was just any old man though, she had known Philip longer than she had known Griff, and he had always told her that they would be secrets, and keep what they had a secret. She wasn’t sure what they had anymore, he knew she was going to marry Griff, she’d told him that herself but here they were. Sometimes she knew that she should be telling Pip that she wasn’t interested anymore, and to tell him to leave, but there was something about him which had her hooked in a way, every time she went to end it she found herself unable. She didn’t want to let go of this experience in a way, and that was the only way she could justify it to herself. It was so daring and exciting, most of it involved sneaking out together, and spending long nights intimately, knowing they wouldn’t see each other for months. It wasn’t love, not in any sense; it was a deep sort of lust, and one that Caitrin couldn’t let go of.

Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, Caitrin tried to just focus on the situation at hand, and not think about the situation with Pip, or Griff, or anything. Nothing was going to happen out here anyway, not that Caitrin would mind, but she had come to learn that Pip enjoyed his luxuries too much to give weight to such thoughts. She’d always aimed to please of course, so she had never protested. Griff wasn’t responding the way that she wanted him to at the moment, they had been practically sick with love for months, and then he had proposed and everything felt like it was going so right, but now he hardly came to see her. He just told her that he was busy, or he had things to do at the estate, or that Lucan had asked him to stay with them for a while. Caitrin had just nodded and gone along with it at first, but now she was starting to get worried. She had always heard that there was more fun in the chase, rather than the capture. What if Griff had gotten bored with her, and he was filling his time with someone else? He wouldn’t do that to her, would he? She bit her lip; she knew Griff loved her, she knew that, so why now was she choosing to worry about it so much?

Pausing, Caitrin raised an eye brow at Pip, and leant up against the nearest tree half dramatically, keeping her eyes on him the whole time. He never disappointed her, in the same way that she never disappointed him, he never even jested about things like that usually, so she knew he was serious. Caitrin tilted her head to the side and frowned, “You know that I don’t like being disappointed.” She pouted dramatically, “What is it then? This isn’t you telling me that you’re leaving, is it?” Caitrin asked softly; she knew that this wasn’t going to last, and perhaps if Pip had to move on it would be for the best, but still, she would be sad to see him go.

[Philip de Calmot]

If Philip wasn’t looking quite so concerned he would have rolled his eyes at Caitrin’s pout. Since he’d decided she was more of a pathway than a final destination she was becoming more and more annoying. Unfortunately he needed to keep her onside if his plan was to work. He’d rather just tell her to stop being so bloody over dramatic and be done with it. But, alas, he had to continue being charming and continue to act as though he actually cared about the fact that her relationship with the Aubert boy might find itself in a rather precarious position. And obviously he was only wanting what was best for her by telling her so. Sometimes he surprised himself by how thoughtful and considerate he could be.

He couldn’t help but smile slightly at her words. Despite the fact that they both knew that she was betrothed – although what she saw in him, Philip was yet to understand, still he supposed they wouldn’t be spoiling anyone else – and that she shouldn’t be talking to him at all, especially not in the way that she was, and yet she’d be disappointed if he was saying he was leaving. It was rather sweet, or it would be if he liked the girl. But it was a rather nice ego boost (not that he particularly needed one but it was there all the same).

He sighed, trying to look as though this was not going to be an easy thing for him to say to her. For a few seconds he chewed on his bottom lip, for the image of course, he wasn’t in the habit of doing it usually. “No, I’m, I’m not leaving.” He replied, walking a few steps away from her and looked down at the floor. “I don’t know how best to tell you this so I’m just going to say it.” He looked up at her for a second or two before lowering his head again. “A few weeks ago I went back to Glouchedon on business. I had to make a delivery to Corneous Aubert,” he paused, “Griff’s father.” There was another pause, as though he couldn’t quite bring himself to say the next part. “So, naturally, we were discussing Griff and his father mentioned...his father mentioned a woman. I can’t remember her name at the moment,” he waved his hand dismissively, “But the fact is they are betrothed. Have been for some time as far as I can gather, arranged of course, but all the same. His father won’t let him not marry her. I’m sorry, Cait, I really am.”

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin was starting to feel quite concerned at Pip’s expression, and she pressed her lips together, still trying to make light of the situation, though her head told her that there was something very wrong here. Philip was hardly ever serious with her, well, not when they were alone anyway. She traded from him of course, so the business on that side of things had always been serious, but he had never been anything but charming and suave when they were really on their own. She felt a little sick for a moment, wondering if Pip was going to tell her that Griff knew about them. That could never happen. The arrangement between her and Philip had been made before Griff had come on the scene, it had never been anything that was meant to lead anywhere, and in truth, Caitrin couldn’t really see why she had kept it going this long. She had just never thought to break it off, when she was around Pip it was always harder to say no than when they were apart.

She took a step or two after him, still allowing him his distance, but she wanted to stay close to him nonetheless. Caitrin brushed her hand along the bark of the tree that she was now stood next to, as if looking for some support. Though she knew she would be sad to see Pip go, if he had to leave she couldn’t say that it wasn’t for the best. She shouldn’t be out here at all, not with him anyway. No matter what she did, or said, to Philip, the fact remained that she loved Griff. He made her happy, and he made her feel wanted. Nevertheless, she smiled when he told her that he wasn’t leaving, but she didn’t show much more than that, as she knew that whatever he had to say was still to come. Instead she just breathed out slowly; her fingers tracing the wood of the tree beside her in an absent minded way.

Caitrin knew that Pip’s business took him all over the five kingdoms, so she didn’t question that Philip had been in Glouchedon. Instead, she focussed more on the other details of the story, and felt something uncomfortable shift in her stomach as he began to mention a woman, and then a betrothal. Caitrin felt her heart sink in her stomach, and she was torn between laughing and crying. This couldn’t be right, Griff was engaged to her; he had given her his pendant, and had sealed the betrothal with her Uncle. Her face had visibly fallen, but she was still hoping that this was Pip’s idea of a sick joke, “There has to be some sort of mistake.” She said, adding a small unconvincing laugh to the end of her words as she walked a few steps away from Pip; turning away from him. Her fist clenched, then unclenched as she processed Pip’s words; biting the inside of her mouth to stop herself from letting her emotions run away from her. She turned back to Pip with an air of misplaced confidence, “Griff is engaged to me.” She fiddled the pendant in-between her fingers, “He gave me this when he proposed; he’s going to marry me, not some woman of his father’s choosing.” Her words were strong and confident, but they didn’t sound anything like that. Her emotions were wavering and she began to stumble over her words, “He-he proposed.” He had been the one to sit there beside her, and tell her that he loved her, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Had it all been recycled? “This can’t be true, it just can’t be.”