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Post by Guinevère on Mar 2, 2019 14:33:48 GMT -5
Guinevère felt numb. Which was better then the heartbroken, the fear, the self-loathing that she felt before she'd cried for the night. Even still she felt like crying, but she wasn't sure that she could cry any more. She had to figure out what she was going to do! Where she was going. The border of Camelot was behind her now, and even though there was no wall that magically protected her from harm with in it's walls--she felt more afraid since crossing it. The wide unknown was out there, and she had never sought to see what was beyond it. Especially alone.
She'd wanted nothing more then a home, and Arthur. She'd loved him, and she'd hurt him. Betraying her almost husband and king! And what was worse, she couldn't explain WHY she'd done it. She knew why, she knew that her feelings had gotten the better of her but looking back it felt as if she wasn't her. She wasn't the type to play loose games with her emotions! Yes, she'd loved Lancelot. He was her first love. The first man she'd felt anything for! Yes she loved Arthur! She loved him with her whole heart! She'd fallen in love with a little more each day and she wanted to marry him!
Yet, when Lancelot came back from the dead . . . . she didn't understand how she'd felt that way! She'd asked him to die for Arthur. She hated herself for that too. At the time fear had make her ask it of him, and he'd died--because she'd asked it of him. Seeing him come back . . . it had been overwhelming to know he hadn't died! She'd lost her head int he giddiness of the emotions and . . . . and betrayed both men. Betrayed Arthur. Her king. Her self.
Blinking back tears she tried again to think of where she needed to go tomorrow; but was distracted when she heard something. Was someone out there? Grabbing her dagger she stood up, and looked slowly around. Her heart beat harder as she tried to look out into the darkness and find the source of the sound. Yet, the fire only lit so far, and everything beyond it's light was all ominous shadows.
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Post by Lancelot on Mar 3, 2019 14:02:09 GMT -5
He succeeded in his mission. he didn't think he'd be able to at first, for he did not fully
understand why Guinevère would feel such way for him. he was banished and that did
not bother him, he only hoped that he made his lady proud. Lancelot was still under the spell,
he was still her's to command as she pleased. Morgana played with three people's hearts
like they were her own amusement toys.. not that she cared.
The Lady Moragna did not send a message to him and neither did Lord Agravaine so he knew
he had to keep going with the plan to hide the secret within him. he had no where to go
and nothing to take with him except the cloths on his back and a horse.
Gwain was kind enough to give him a sword before he left.
walking outside and away from the gates he did not bother looking back,
he had nothing there. he had nothing anymore, no orders, no commands,
nothing.. and that made him feel empty. he needed his Lady back, he owed her
his life but he had to keep going. he walked into the forest, he walked for hours.
his body was beginning to fail him as he was starting to get tired,
he decided to water his horse and then find a shelter for the night.
as he was about to settle and start a fire, with the glimpse of his eyes he saw
a small flickering light, it was fire. Lancelot did not feel safe knowing there's
someone near by so he decided to go and see who that was and maybe if they
had something to eat. he untied the horse rope and guided it with him towards
the glowing light, he pulled his sword out just incase he needed to defined himself.
he tried being silence but the shadows were everywhere he could not see
where he was stepping on. as he got closer he came to realize who it was, who she was. he never thought he'd cross path with her but now that he have he figured he'd make
the most of it and play the part his lady told him to be. he returned his sword back and held out his arms.
"relax.." he spoke calmly. "it's just me."
Lancelot stepped closer to the light so she could see that it was him. "I never thought I'd see you.."
he said tried to play the part he was supposed to play
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Post by Guinevère on Mar 3, 2019 21:09:53 GMT -5
"Relax." The voice came from the shadows. THE voice. "It's just me." HIS voice. One she'd known anywhere. Lancelot. Normally this would have filled her with ease in knowng he was there, but now . . . Now it filled her with something else. Not quite fear, and not of him. She knew he would never harm her, but of herself. Regret for what she'd done! To Arthur. To him!
He stepped into the light, his horse near him. She knew that this meant he was banished too. Guinevère turned her dagger away from him, so the blade pointed to the ground. She held no fear that a dagger would protect her from. Yet she couldn't look away from him right now, in order to put it away, if wild horses showed up behind her. HE was HERE. She inhaled a slow breath, trying to sort out what she was feeling. "I never thought I'd see you..." again? Here? She wasn't sure what would follow that, but she wasn't sure she should know.
Guinevère stared silently at him for another long moment before she blinked and shook her head. Seeming to come out of her surprise, and emotion chaos of seeing him walking toward her out of the dark. She closed ehr eyes and looked down for another long moment, trying to regain control. "Lancelot," she whispered his name, before looking back up at him.
She didn't blame him. She knew he loved her. She knew he loved her when he came back with Percival. She knew it when he stayed. She knew it when she cruelly asked him to bring Arthur home, and he died. She knew it when he came back int he middle of the joust! And she would always love him, but it was a different love then the love she held for Arthur. She had thought she made her choice, but then her emotions . . . no she didn't blame Lancelot. She'd led him on. Let him believe something that she couldn't explain! Not any longer. "I feared you'd still be in the prison." She told him, knowing that Arthur's Uncle would push for execution. She didn't think he deserved to die. Yet she wasn't sure she was comfortable being around him any longer. Him or Arthur. She'd done so much damage. "They let you go?"
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Post by Lancelot on Mar 4, 2019 13:23:52 GMT -5
The look on her face was different. He didn't understand what emotions were. For he was nothing more except a shade. A shade that have been brainwashed and taught to be a certain way. But even he could tell when he's not wanted around. He lowered his arms down as she pointed the dagger away from him. He tied the horse to a near by tree.
" I was.." he begain to answer her question. As he put his sword to where he keeps it.
" I was there for the night.." alone in a dark cell. He didn't mind being alone but he surely was hoping to get a word back from Morgana by that time but nothing.
"when I almost gave I looked up to find the door was unlocked and the guards weren't there. And as I walked outside Gwain was waiting with a sword in his hand and horse."
He turned around to face her again. He knew Gwain wouldn't betray the king. He knew he was acting on Arthur's orders. Why would Arthur let him go free. Why couldn't he be like what his lady explained him to be. He thought all that to himself. He didn't want to tell that to Guinevère.
"I'm sorry Guinevère.. For I meant no harm.." was he acting like he should? Is this what his lady |
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Post by Guinevère on Mar 5, 2019 23:02:33 GMT -5
He tied his horse, and she wasn't sure what she felt about him assuming he was staying around long enough to need to tie his horse. She'd be afraid of someone or something attacking her out here, while she was alone; and now she was now. Lancelot would protect her, she trusted him. On the other--she'd destroyed two men because she'd been unable to make a choice. Because she made the wrong choice and curly lead Lancelot to believe she felt something stronger then what she did, and it had gotten them both banished for it. How could he stand to be around her? Did he expect . . . Did he still believe she would be with him? The realization that her damage wasn't all the way finished was enough that her breathing slightly escalated. Slow deep breaths as she waited for his words.
"When I almost gave I looked up to find the door was unlocked and the guards weren't there. And as I walked outside Gwaine was waiting with a sword in his hand and horse." The guards where gone? Guinevère was distracted from her unease by his words. They were gone? She'd been dragged before Arthur and pushed to her knees. Did he escape? Yet he spoke of Gwaine. Had they let him go? Without making him go before Arthur?
His final words distracted her once more. He apologized. To her. Gwen's face crumbled as she fought the tears, and lost the battle! "No," she told him, her face falling toward the ground and her hand coming up to cover it. He held so much honor, and he would take the blame for this if she let him. "I should apologize," she began, still not looking at him. "I knew you loved me, and I can't explain what happened. I felt drawn to you. I thought you were dead, and then you were not, and everything was just . . . " It was like a dream more then something she'd done. Looking up at him, she pressed her hands, dagger still in hand, to her belly. It wouldn't cut her at this angle but she still forgotten it in her hands. "I am so sorry, Lancelot. THe fault is mine." She knew he loved her, he's proven it so many times. And she abused it by asking him to protect another man--and then by not being clean in what she wanted. "I am so sorry!"
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Post by Lancelot on Mar 13, 2019 3:08:12 GMT -5
Seeing her breakdown like that made him proud
and feel accomplished. He reached a point where a smile
was about to form on his face if he didn't stop himself
from doing so. That would just ruin things for him and be a big giveaway.
Play the part. He told himself repeatedly.
Lancelot's eyes have fallen towards the ground as he tried
to make his face look somewhat different than pleased.
Isn't that what people who are hurting are supposed to do?
Try and run away from the feeling.
Hearing her take the blame insured his plan was working.
He looked back at her and quickly shook his head to deny that.
"no.."
He spoke softly as he stepped closer. She still
held the dagger in her hand. Yeah sure it wasn't pointed at him
but it still didn't feel save.
His hand reached for her as he gently pulled it
away from her.
"it really isn't.. I knew how much you loved Arthur
and how we couldn't be together.. I don't know what came over me."
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Post by Guinevère on Mar 16, 2019 14:55:15 GMT -5
"No.." He spoke in a calming tone. Lancelot always had that easy cadence in his voice. It was strong and soothing, yet this time she didn't want his comfort. She'd done nothing to earn it from anyone. She'd betrayed and hurt both men of honor. Lancelot had wanted to be a knight for years, and when he'd finally done it she'd caused him to forget his honor. He reached for her, and she almost moved back but he took the forgotten dagger from her. Her hands loosened and let him. She had no need of it around Lancelot. Weaponless, she wasn't afraid of harm coming to her. Only to her heart.
Once he's taken the dagger from her, she wasn't sure what to do with her hands. She felt the need to make them do SOMETHING. Folding them together she held them. "It really isn't. I knew how much you loved Arthur and how we couldn't be together. I don't know what came over me." Nor did she. Odd how they both couldn't explain what had happened that night. Those days. It hadn't just been one night where she lost her head in the moment. It had been over a day.
His words made her think again of his honor. Even now he wore it. He would always put her first, and take the blame. She'd done this too him. He never would have acted if she'd not done it first. "Then we share the fault, though not equally." She told him not wanting to argue, but nor should he take the blame. "I asked you to take care of Arthur," and she hadn't asked a knight to look after a king--she'd asked Lancelot to look after Arthur. One was expected of duty, and what she'd asked of him was hurtful. She never should have asked that of him. "And you died, and I knew why you'd done it. You did it because I asked you too. Then you came . . . and I was glad you weren't dead. I should have been stronger."
She also had not missed how he said 'you loved Arthur'. Past tense. But her it wasn't. Arthur might not want to see her, but to Guinevère he was still the man she loved more then herself. Which made her feel guilty for standing here with Lancelot when being with Lancelot was what had caused Arthur to send her away in the first place.
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