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Caitrin smiled a little. She knew that Cam would thank her regardless of what she said or did, but really she didn’t have to thank them at all. She was family, and Caitrin was glad that they could help her out in some respects. She knew Cam would be uneasy what with Lucan gone. Caitrin couldn’t imagine being without Griff for so long, especially now they had the twins. Plus, Lucan was a knight, and there was always a heavy price to pay with being a knight of Camelot. Needless to say there was a high turnover rate. That would never happen to her brother-in-law though. He always had a habit of getting himself out of tricky situations. A family trait, Caitrin thought on reflection. “You don’t need to apologise Cam, and you’re family so we help out where we can.” She knew Lucan and Cam would do the same for her if the tables were reversed, as they were quite a strong little family unit really. A month, Jesu, had it really been so long since Lucan had gone? Caitrin had lost all sense of time what with the twins taking up so much of her day. Her days and weeks seemed to fly by, and she could only really concentrate on when she could sleep and what the twins needed and when. “He’ll be back soon, you know Lucan, he could walk through that door anytime, unannounced.” But he hadn’t yet, and Caitrin quickly realised that she would have to work hard to raise Cam’s spirits. She didn’t mind of course, perhaps they could go for a walk or a ride later. That might cheer her up.

Esmae was still feeding, though Caitrin could feel her slowing down, and eventually the baby’s lips left her, and she could feel her shifting as she began to gurgle softly. She used one hand to pull her gown up again, and made sure she was covered before she shifted Esmae so she could pat her back gently to burp her, though Caitrin’s eyes were still on her sister in law. She smiled as she watched how natural she seemed with Arthur. She hoped that she and Lucan would have their own children soon, they could all be playmates then. That would be a sight to behold, all the mini Auberts. She had seen the way that Lucan had simply fallen in love with Esmae, and she was sure he would make as good a father as his brother had. Griff had taken to fatherhood really well, better than they had both expected, but he loved the twins, and he was always trying to help her out with them.

Caitrin was glad at least that Cam was open to the idea of food. She knew she hadn’t been that well, and she was also determined to help her on the road to recovery. After all, she didn’t want Lucan coming back thinking that they had neglected her at all. Caitrin stood up, Esmae still being burped on her shoulder, and walked across to the solar door. There was a servant just outside so she sent him off to prepare some breakfast for them all. Returning to her original seat, Caitrin looked across at Cam with nothing but concern in her expressions, “Are you feeling any better? Or should we send for the physician again?”

Caitrin was quite surprised at how hungry Esmae was this morning. She was growing quite a lot though, as was her brother. Caitrin bit her lip, resisting the urge to groan as Esmae was making her quite sore that morning. She could feel the urgency of her daughters feed, and though she knew she was feeling sore now she was sure it would be worse when Arthur was hungry. Then again, he was a lot more gentle than his sister was. Caitrin knew that man frowned upon her for the way she treated her children, because she preferred the more personal approach rather than handing her children over to a nurse. She preferred it that way because it meant that she didn’t miss out on anything that the twins did, and she felt like she had bonded with them so much better because of it. As Camila came into the room, Caitrin shifted the blanket further over Esmae, so she was fully covered in the company of her sister-in-law. She didn’t want to embarrass Cam after all.

She smiled at Cam as she took a seat and took Arthur in her arms. Her son had been starting to fuss a little, though she knew that he wasn’t hungry just yet, it just sounded like he wanted some attention. Caitrin knew that both her children adored Cam, so they were always comfortable with her. She was quite glad in a sense that Cam didn’t lie to her, and admitted that she hadn’t slept incredibly well. She would rather know that there was something wrong with her, rather than her try to hide it all from her. Caitrin wished now that they had invited Camila to stay with them sooner, and she felt guilty that they hadn’t. After all, she had been alone in the estate with no one but the servants. They had visited a few times, but Caitrin felt better now that they could offer comfort in the estate for Camila. “Why, what is wrong?” If it was a practical issue such as noise, or perhaps that the bed or room weren’t to her tastes then that could easily be worked out. However, Caitrin was sure that there was something more troubling ailing her sister-in-laws mind.

Caitrin gave Cam a warm smile and looked down at Esmae before replying to the question, “I had a full nights rest for once.” Caitrin had been expecting her children to wake her up during the night, but Esmae had only woken up at dawn when her father had woken up a well so that he could go and survey the fields with her Uncle. “Esmae woke up when Griff did, so he just left her in our bed before he went out with my Uncle.” It had been a nice thing to wake up to, and she was so glad that she had Griff to help her out with the twins. She looked across at Cam with a smile, “Thank you, by the way.” She quickly put in, as Arthur seemed quite settled in Cam’s arms , “Do you want me to call the kitchens to make us some breakfast?”

Caitrin knew that Griff would never forgive her father for what he had done. Not that she ever expected him to, but she knew that he would have been hurt by what had happened last night, more because of the effect that Payton had had on her, rather than him. She had seen it in his eyes, and even afterwards, the amount of times he had told her it wasn’t her fault, and that the blame belonged with her father was just... overwhelming. She hadn’t believed him at first, because she’d never had any reason to. Since childhood she’d thought that her father hated her because of something she’d done, whether it was because she had been disobeying him, or because she hadn’t been a boy, but she’d always felt that blame. She’d gone against her father anyway, but she’d never felt like it was his fault. Griff had been the first person to really drive home to her that her father was in the wrong, not her. It was an empowering thought, and she had a new found confidence from it in some respects. However, it wasn’t enough to make her stay and try another round with her father. She’d had enough and she was going home. Caitrin did however manage a small smile at Yassia’s words, “I shall tell him, no doubt he will use it as an excuse.” Knowing Griff he probably would as well. Caitrin didn’t mind of course, it amused her more than anything.

Well no, her father didn’t have a man like Griff in mind for her. From what Caitrin could remember, the man she had been betrothed to had been an old warlord, whose wife had died. He was a good friend of her fathers, so naturally he sold her his daughter. Caitrin shuddered a little at the thought, she was so glad now that things had happened as they had. She knew she would have such a happy life now with Griff, and that she would always be loved, and she would love him so much in return. “It’s true, we can be happy in our own choice of marriage.” Caitrin knew that Griff would make an excellent husband, because they completed one another. He might have been trying to stalk her when they had first met, but they had come a long way since then and things had quickly progressed since then. “We shall keep in touch, make no mistake of that.” Caitrin promised her friend with a grin, though she doubted much would change for her as a married woman as she and Griff had been living as if they were married for some time now. Most of the time he lived at the estate, and they probably had more intimate knowledge of each other than most married couples, “I doubt much will change from the way me and Griff live at the moment. Your life will change more than mine, I expect.” No doubt Yassia would see a greater change than she would. After all, Yassia had more morals than Caitrin did in those respects. “Well, until I fall with child, of course.” Caitrin knew her life would change an immense amount when she became pregnant, because she was determined to do everything herself, without nurses or maids. No, her children would have a more personal upbringing.

Grinning at Yassia, she nodded as her friend mentioned diluting the wine with water. That probably would be the right way to go. After all, no one could knock back wine quite like her Uncle. He would no doubt be looking forwards to the wedding just because of the wine and food he would receive after the proceedings. “Well, I’m sure the betrothal will have broken a few hearts at court.” Oliver was a good looking man, and a lot of women had been vying for his hand for many years now with no luck. “I’ll be using my Uncle’s guards, they’ve been watching me since I first came to Camelot.” They would all die for her, though she didn’t want them to of course. They were sworn to protect her family, and that was all she needed and wanted.

Naturally it was an incredibly good thing that Griff was as excited as she was at becoming a proper little family. He had been a bit nervous at first, and he still probably was, but he’d just become better at hiding it. There had never been any question as to whether she would be keeping the baby, they’d just both been happy about it. In ways it had been good as well, as it had forced them both to grow up, and mature a little in some respects. Griff had finally sorted out the pub he owned, and the money from that was enough to keep them comfortable for now. They didn’t live extravagantly, most of the money at the moment went on preparing for the children to arrive. The money for her job helped to pay off the mortgage and expenses for the house. They had a nice little arrangement, and it suited them just fine. “He’ll probably be terrified when I actually go into labour.” No doubt she would be comforting him than it being the other way around.

Caitrin had never had any great want of finding out the gender of her children before they were born. In truth, those who did, and named the child before they were born irritated Caitrin somewhat. It was almost like they were expecting the child to be a certain way, and act in a certain manner before they had even taken their first breath. No, Caitrin wanted the surprise and she wanted to get to know the babies when they were in her arms, without imagining every detail of their life before they were even in the world. “It’s more traditional.” Caitrin agreed with a smile.

Nodding, Caitrin was sure she had seen Nora around a few times during her time at university. “I was always at the hospital really.” She pointed out, from day one she had been working absurd shifts, but Griff had always been on hand to pick her up, and bring her lunch in the middle of the night if she needed it. He’d been just as relieved as she had when she had graduated. Nora’s question took her by surprise a little, not because it was rude or intrusive, but because oddly not many people thought to ask anything like that. She nodded her head though, “I spent a lot of time in hospitals as a young girl.” Well, that had been when she had still lived with her father. After a few trips to hospital with injuries such as a broken arm, fractured fingers, and bruising all over her body Social Services had stepped in, and the rest of her life had been spent with her Uncle and cousin. The nurses had always been so nice to her, and she supposed if it hadn’t been for them she might not have got away from her father so easily. “So I knew I wanted to care for others as they had looked after me.” She pulled a small face, “As cliché as that sounds.” Caitrin then looked back to Nora, “What do you want to work as, after your degree?”

Caitrin felt very, very scared and completely out of control. All her life she had wanted to believe that sorcerers only strove for good, and that their gifts should be use to help rather than to harm. She had the gifts over fire, wind and other minor spells, but she would never implore them for anything but good. Perhaps that meant she wasn’t worthy to wield them, because she would rather stay hidden, and keep the gifts to herself, but it was what she had to do to stay alive, and if that was the cost of staying alive then she would gladly pay it. She had no intention of rising to Nimueh, or siding with her cause. She didn’t believe in it, what hope did magic have of returning to Camelot? It had been twenty years, the children playing in the street and the young knight of Camelot had no memory of a time of magic, and therefore had no fond memories of it, and the good magic could do. What on earth would inspire masses like that to rise up or the cause of magic, when all sorcery had done was to bring misery to the kingdom over the past few months? Caitrin was young, and inexperienced and naive, but she was fully aware of that. She knew that she would never see the side to the story that Nimueh was trying to preach to her. But surely hardening everyone’s hearts against magic was not the way to go.

Nothing Nimueh was saying could ever sway Caitrin’s opinion. She couldn’t understand how Nimueh ever expected her plans to work. If she were to attack Camelot then surely they would loathe, rather than love magic. She knew that she was trying to provoke her, but Caitrin did sometimes feel unworthy to wield her gifts, but what else could she do? All she felt she could do at the moment was to bide her time, a time when magic would become more acceptable within Camelot. If that time never came then her secret would die with her, and she would deal with that. She would survive as she always had. “I would rather live, and keep my gifts a secret.” She replied stubbornly, “Sorcery will never return to Camelot while we continue to be plagued by sorcerers seeking revenge. All it will do is harden the heart of the people, people who would be needed to seek a change in the law.” She was surprised with how confidently her words came to her, but once they had been said there was no taking them back, and she believed them completely.

Caitrin inclined her head towards Nimueh, and then looked around the hovel they were now arguing in. “You might be free, but free to do what exactly?” Perhaps they didn’t have the same wants and needs, but Caitrin preferred a life where she had a roof over her head and her family around her. What did Nimueh have? From what Caitrin could see, despite this freedom, she had very little. “I would rather live as I do now, at court with my friends and family, than be out here in exile.” She said rather curtly, she had had enough of Nimueh’s games, and she bit her lip, she wanted to leave, but short on running off she couldn’t think how to broach that one, so she took a step back, looking behind her, ready to run when the moment called for it.

Caitrin didn’t really want to go into her time with Vortigern, it wasn’t anything against Yassia, but she hadn’t told anyone what he had done to her. It had been the first time in her life where she had felt completely helpless and useless. He had beaten and tormented her the entire way home, to the point where she had finally cracked. Jesu, she had tried to stand up to him, but nothing had worked. He’d always bitten back harder. His emotions were sub human, Caitrin was sure of it. She had been on the floor, in tears cradling the arm he had nearly torn out of its socket and yet he had still been there, shouting at her, and abusing her. He had abused her in the most intimate of ways though, and the fact she couldn’t remember it made it worse. Of course her time had come to her, and Vortigern hadn’t left a lasting impact on her life. She had slowly began to get her confidence back, and the fact no one else had known about the incident had made it easier in a way, because she had only been reminded of it if she had chosen to think about it. It had all soon been forgotten, and now Caitrin had a completely different life, one she was going to spend with Griff. “You would be surprised.” Was all Caitrin could think to say without snapping at her friend. She had no idea what he had done to Yassia, but Yassia had no idea what he had done to Caitrin either. She didn’t really want to dwell on this topic much more, because these times belonged firmly in the past.

She had almost given up hope that Griff would warm to the conditions in Mercia. She knew he was from the south, but Caitrin didn’t know that he was so unseasoned to the cold weather. She had grown up used to the long winters, and most of her childhood had been wrapped up in cloaks and furs. After all, Mercia had been the homeland of the de Archer’s for generations. Her father had once said that the fact they were so used to the cold was in their blood. “He will never be used to the cold, even at home he dislikes it when there is a chill in the air.” More often than not Caitrin was too hot where Griff was too cold. She was sure he only used it as an excuse to get her back into bed with him, to warm him up.

Caitrin chuckled a little, “Jeffrey did a good job with hunting me down.” Her brother had been quite pleased with himself when he had cut off her path, and had pulled down her hood. He had been surprised of course, that his little sister had been causing so much trouble, along with her friend. Though he hadn’t chastised her, he’d just laughed it off and had then ridden beside her. Caitrin knew she was unlikely to get much more out of Yassia on this topic, especially as she seemed so against giving her anything. Then again, if there was anything in what Caitrin suspected, then it would show itself soon enough. “Well, I’m sure he was satisfied with his catch.” She winked at Yassia, “Is he looking forwards to the feast as well?”

Though Caitrin now felt like she was getting to know the twins better, it had not always been so. At first it had been so hard to please both children. One loved being held, and cuddled, while the other preferred solitude. One slept in the day, and the other the night. It had been so much harder than she had expected it to be. However, all the tiredness, and the painstaking hours devoted to the twins seemed worth it when one of them smiled at her, or toyed with her hair, and just let her know that they were happy. “It is hard, a lot harder than I expected it to be.” She admitted softly. Perhaps she had been too naive at first, but she had quickly realised the hardship of raising twins. She had probably made it even harder by not hiring a nursemaid or a wetnurse, but she wanted a personal impact on her children’s lives, and not one just dictated to through a nurse.

Caitrin followed Nora outside, allowing her to tend to Arthur. The baby seemed happy enough, so she had no reason to take him back. She was quite glad in a way that Arthur was so happy with Nora’s company. After all, Nora was quickly becoming quite a close friend so she wanted her children to be comfortable around her as well. It certainly made things easier. She watched as Nora set him down on a blanket with his toys. The baby squealed happily and reached for the closest toy. Caitrin grinned down at him, “Well, somebody is certainly happy.” She commented, as Arthur tried to suck on the toy slowly, looking at his mother happily. “He defiantly likes it.” She reassured Nora, smiling at her gently.

The tea and biscuits were there presently, and Caitrin was glad of a drink and something to eat. Sometimes she was that bothered about her children that she forgot to look after herself sometimes. There weren’t enough hours in the day sometimes, and Caitrin took the tea gratefully, smiling with thanks at her friend. “Thank you, this tea is wonderful.” Arthur seemed happy enough, so she didn’t have to tend him for now, “How have you been Nora?” What with everything that was happening she wondered how her friend was faring.

Caitrin felt like she was in a better mood now simply because she was up and about. Being bedridden didn’t really suit Caitrin in the slightest. She had hated the past few days, while she had been recovering. Of course Arthur had come to visit her, to see how she was faring, but even he had known how much she hated being cooped up. She would much rather be out with her mare, or even taking a stroll than being confined to her guest chambers. However, that was the price of her stupidity. She had run straight into the thick of the fighting and this was her punishment. However, her burns were healing, and her ankle was the only thing ailing her now. More and more Caitrin was starting to wonder about sorcery, and creatures of magic. Caitrin herself was a sorceress, and she had always assumed that other sorcerers would be like her, and only want to use their gifts for good. However, it felt like the longer she spent in Camelot the more that view was being changed. In Mercia sorcery had not been frowned upon, but that wasn’t to be thought of now, Caitrin was never going back to Mercia. Camelot was her home now, even if she had to forever hide this part of her.

She was still standing outside the door, and eventually she thought to open it, “Gaius?” She called out gently again, and then realised he mustn’t be in. Pressing her lips together, she stepped into the workshop, still trying to decide what to do. She wondered if Gaius would be annoyed to find her trespassing in his space, but she really was just looking for him and some pain relief of course. Gaius always seemed to be in good spirits anyway, so she was sure there would be no harm in waiting here for him. She was silly to think that he would be in here really, after all, she supposed he must have plenty of people to tend to after the dragon attack. Really, she had got off lightly compared to many of the others who had suffered during the attack.

She was occupying herself, looking at the books and potions on the shelves when she heard someone come into the room as well. She was expecting to see Gaius when she turned to face the voice, but instead there was a man standing in the door way. Caitrin had seen him before, but couldn’t quite recall where exactly. After all, the castle did hold quite a lot of servants. “Oh, hello. I was just waiting to see Gaius.” She smiled softly at him, “Are you waiting for him as well?”

Though the princess was assuring her that the horse was fine, and wouldn’t harm her, Caitrin was still nervous. The horse after all had to be quite stubborn and it could be dangerous. Caitrin was still holding Arthur close to her chest, and kept one eye on the horse. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the woman, but she knew enough about horses to know that anything could provoke their tempers and moods if the beast was indeed a stubborn one. “If you say so, my Lady.” Caitrin said rather quietly, and took a small step towards the horse so it wouldn’t look like she was untrusting of what Xenia was saying to her. Arthur started to gurgle in her arms, and she could see he was getting tired. He would probably be ready for a sleep eventually.

Caitrin as glad of least Xenia was in agreement at freshening up and then continuing to Camelot. It would probably be better suited to take the princess to Camelot. After all, the manor wasn’t really suitable for royalty. It suited hers and her family’s needs, and that was it. Caitrin smiled at Xenia, and looked through the trees, “Do you want to follow me back to the estate princess? It is only a short walk back to my home.” Caitrin didn’t mind walking if Xenia wanted to ride to the manor. The horse would be tended to by her servants of course, but Caitrin had already decided, after seeing the horses temperament she didn’t want it by her other horses. It might be a calm beast, but Caitrin wanted to be sure. “You can ride alongside me if you want? I don’t mind walking.”