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Post by morg on Feb 5, 2013 21:18:27 GMT -5
Morgana's gaze darted between Arthur and the door. He was standing in her way and there was no clear way out without knocking him out of the way. She could do it easily enough, but would he call the guards? She couldn't defeat all of the knights on her own, even with her magic. But she had to get out of here, before Arthur softened her completely.
But she still couldn't move. She was starting to shake at this point. Arthur clearly believed what he was saying, but if it were true, why had she never seen it? Uther had only ever seemed to like her when she was acting the way he wanted her to. Then he basically treated her like a mindless doll. But if she opposed him, if she dared to disagree with him in some way, he would threaten her, punish her, throw her in the dungeon... and once, he had even put his hands around her throat. What kind of love was that? Gorlois would never have raised a hand to her, she knew that without a doubt.
"Then why did he try to kill me?" she demanded. "When I helped the druid boy escape, he put his hands around my throat and threatened me! He threw me in the dungeon; he did terrible things to me whenever I dared go against his wishes to do what was right. If he loved me as you say he did, why did he only show it behind my back?"
As she spoke, something seemed to break open inside of her. It was like a wall had broken, and all the emotions she had been holding deep inside began to rage through her. Anger, pain, fear, loneliness, betrayal... it all seemed to rush through her like a river. She nearly doubled over from the power of it all.
"What would he have done if he found out about my magic? Do you even know what it was like, living here with such a secret? You can't understand what it was like, Arthur. You can't know... I had no one to turn to. What was I to do?"
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Post by morg on Feb 4, 2013 23:23:38 GMT -5
Morgana lay back in her bed, trying desperately to relax. She had told Gwen that she was fine, but it had been a lie. Morgana felt anything but fine. After the incident last night, she wasn't sure she'd ever be fine again.
Sleep had been a struggle for Morgana for years now. Her strange, vivid dreams that sometimes seemed to come true had haunted her nights for as long as she could remember. They didn't happen every night, but they happened often enough. She took the potion Gaius made for her every night, but it didn't always work. Sometimes the dreams broke through anyway, and when they did, they were usually terrible. She would awaken in a cold sweat, wild-eyed and terrified. That was what had happened the night before.
She'd been having troubles with her dreams, and she awoke. She still didn't know how it happened, but she had glanced at the candle and it flamed up, catching the curtains on fire. While she was panicking, the glass shattered. It was magic, she was sure of it. And she was also sure that she had done it. She didn't know how, and she didn't think she could do it again... but she had felt the strange surge shoot through her. She had done it. She must have.
Gaius had assured her that it couldn't possibly have been her... but Morgana knew he was wrong. Maybe he was lying to her... trying to protect her. She knew perfectly well what Uther thought of magic, and there was no telling what he'd do if he knew she had done magic. But if she did have magic, what was to stop her from doing it again in Uther's presence? She had no control over it. That was the most terrifying part... the complete lack of control.
All of these thoughts and fears weighed heavily on the young ward as she sat alone in her darkened room. Gaius's potion was starting to take its effect, making her arms and legs feel heavy. But her eyes were wide open.
She took one last look around the room, making sure there were no misplaced candles anywhere, then forced herself to close her eyes. But just as she was starting to really relax, she saw a flash of light... and she screamed. Her eyes flew open and she sat up straight in bed. The very first thing she laid her eyes on was a glass vase. Then she felt that strange surge shoot through her again and her eyes went fuzzy for a moment.
The vase shattered.
Morgana screamed and jumped out of bed. She needed to talk to someone. Someone who would understand. Someone who might be able to help her.
Her first thought was Gaius, but he hadn't exactly been helpful this morning. He'd flatly insisted that she was fine and that it wasn't magic. If she would just take her sleeping draught, he told her, everything would be fine. Well, it wasn't fine. Gaius had lied.
Desperate, Morgana ran from her room and down the hall, stopping at Arthur's chamber door. Maybe he would understand. Maybe...
She took a breath, and with a shaking hand, knocking loudly on the door. "Arthur? Are you awake? It's Morgana. I need to talk to you!"
Timeline: S2, During Ep. 3, "The Nightmare Begins," late night.
Tag: Arthur
What if: Morgana went to Arthur for help about her magic, instead of Merlin?[/size]
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Post by morg on Feb 4, 2013 23:18:03 GMT -5
She was going to have to be more careful. Gwen had nearly caught her doing magic the other day. Morgana wasn't really that worried about Gwen... if necessary, she was sure she could figure out a way to get the maid out of her way, or at least discredit her somehow. After all, Merlin already knew she had magic, but he didn't dare say a word, because he knew she would just turn him in for trying to poison her. It wouldn't be hard to frame Gwen for something, if she had to.
Still, she was trying her best to make Gwen feel like nothing had changed. Giving her maid the day off was a good start, and of course, also had the added benefit of giving her time to perform the ritual without interruption.
But she would need to do something more. She was starting to see doubt in her maid's eyes, and it really would be better if she could keep Gwen on her side. After all, she was close with Arthur, and the last thing Morgana needed was for Gwen to share her suspicions with him.
So when Morgana woke up the next morning, she got up immediately and started going through her jewelry. Maybe she could find a suitable piece to give to Gwen as a gift.
She was considering a simple gold pendant of a rose woven through a knot when the door opened.
"Gwen!" she said, turning around to face the door with a brilliant smile painted on her face. "Good morning!"
Timeline: S3, E8 (The Eye of the Phoenix), while Arthur is mid-quest. Morning.
Tag: Guinevère
What if: Gwen confronted Morgana about using magic.
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Post by morg on Feb 3, 2013 18:31:43 GMT -5
*Shields eyes from spoilers* (although, actually, I already knew all of that... I just don't know how it all happens) Anyway, I don't know if Morgana coming back would fit in with that plan, but if it could be done, I'm certainly willing. Also, Kenric is definitely available.  I would also be up for a kind of "reboot" of season 5, if anyone was interested in that idea.... Maybe we could collaborate on an idea to play that out and have things end differently... or not end. |
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Post by morg on Feb 2, 2013 0:36:08 GMT -5
Morgana released him and stepped back once again. This time, she just studied him for a long time, allowing herself to simply enjoy the view. Percival really was a very attractive man, and in another time and place she might have had a lot of fun getting to know this man. Contrary to her words, she knew he was more than just "muscle." He had a strange sort of pride about him for a man who, prior to being knighted by Arthur, was apparently just a village farm boy.
He was different from most of the other knights; Morgana had some previous connections with them from her days in Camelot. She didn't know Percival. They had never met before he joined forces with Arthur to fight against her. He had never seen her as she was in Camelot. His hatred of her was not based on her betrayal, but on what he saw before him now.
She had fallen far from her time in Camelot. She couldn't deny that. There were times she awoke at night, longing for her warm bed and luxurious chambers at Camelot. There were times she ached for her beautiful gowns and glittering jewels. Sometimes she even missed those infernal tournaments that she had to sit through. They hadn't been all bad. Sometimes she would offer her favor to one of the knights and she would congratulate them on their performances later. She could almost imagine offering her favor to Percival and watching with pride as he competed in her name.
But that time was passed now. Now she was an outcast. A traitor. It was the role she had chosen and she couldn't allow herself to regret it.
Finally she looked away, forcing herself to focus on the reality. He hated her, and justifiably so.
"What did you do before you were a knight? Were you a laborer, or a farmer? I imagine you were used to... physical labor?"
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Post by morg on Feb 1, 2013 23:58:00 GMT -5
Curse him. Morgana felt as though the ice was beginning to crack at that moment. This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't why she had come here. She had wanted to feel something about Uther's death, to allow that anger and hatred to flow back through her in place of the emptiness. She certainly hadn't come here to allow Arthur to chip away at the ice surrounding her heart and make her feel the pain of loss once again. She was still recovering from Morgause's death and now Uther. One still made her ache inside, the other made her feel nothing. But Arthur's words were making her ache again. Curse him. She had to get out of here...
He reminded her of how he had helped her smuggle Mordred out of the city, against his father's explicit orders. She couldn't deny that he had done that... and he had done it because she had asked him to. Maybe he had also done it because it was the right thing to do... but it was mostly because she asked. Unlike Uther, Arthur had never done anything to hurt or injure her. For a while, she had thought maybe he had known about Merlin's attempt to poison her, but now she was reasonably sure he knew nothing about it. But she allowed herself to see him as the enemy anyway. It was something that happened suddenly... right after she found out that she was Uther's daughter, and not merely his ward.
And then she was struck with the simple, devastating truth. It wasn't anything that Arthur had done that made her hate him. It was what Uther had done.
"He loved you more," she answered, her voice shaking. "You were the favored child. The heir. He couldn't even acknowledge me as his daughter. You say he loved me, but he loved you more. He died for you. I don't think he would have done the same for me."
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Post by morg on Jan 28, 2013 22:33:28 GMT -5
Even down on his knees, Percival was intimidating. Luckily for Morgana, she was not easily intimidated. She never had been, not even before she discovered her magic. Even as a small girl she had stood up to Uther Pendragon and defied him at every turn. Strangely, however, in this moment Morgana didn't feel like that innocent girl. In this scenario, she was more like Uther. The realization both sickened her and empowered her. She had come such a long way...
Approaching him once again, this time she reached out and put her hands on his big, square jaw. It really was such a shame he was so noble and honorable. It was just so... predictable. What was it about Arthur that so many people were willing to die for him, anyway? Why couldn't anyone, except her poor dead sister, feel that way about her?
After his little "outburst," Morgana clapped her hands over his mouth to silence him.
"Oh, please. It's not like Arthur's going to hear you or anything," she said, rolling her eyes. "And I'm not asking you to betray your precious king. There's no point in asking you any questions... Clearly Arthur doesn't keep you around for your brains. I just have a little job I need help with. And I think you're ideally suited for it."
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Post by morg on Jan 27, 2013 22:16:57 GMT -5
Morgana nearly laughed. Such a big, strong man, so stalwart and true, now her prisoner. He should have been kneeling before her, yet he still stood, tall and proud. No one looking at him now would have guessed that he was not always a proud knight of Camelot, but a poor village farm boy of low birth. She had to hand it to Arthur, he knew how to pick his knights.
"So proud and strong," she said mockingly, tracing the lines of his collarbones with her fingers. "You certainly take your duty as a knight seriously, don't you? You're probably thinking how you would never betray your king. So typical."
She pulled back then, standing a few feet away from him. "But as I said, you're in my territory now. Which means you really should show a little respect."
She threw her arms out in front of her, and her eyes glowed amber as she hissed a spell that would bring the enormous man to his knees.
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Post by morg on Jan 26, 2013 1:22:33 GMT -5
Morgana pouted in an exaggerated fashion as she moved toward him. "Oh, come now, what kind of greeting is that?" she said, pretending to sound wounded. "There's no reason to be nasty. After all, you're not in Camelot anymore. This is my territory you happened to wander into. And I can make your stay... pleasant... or not."
She was standing in front of him now, and if she was honest with herself, he was quite an impressive figure. He towered over her in height, and in width, his muscles threatened to engulf her. Lucky thing that he was chained... although Morgana found herself wondering just how long those chains could really hold him.
It was daring, but Morgana almost couldn't help herself as she reached out and put her hands on his chest. "You weren't in Camelot when I lived there," she said. "It's a shame... I think we could have been friends."
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Post by morg on Jan 24, 2013 23:44:36 GMT -5
Morgana despised snow. If she had her way, she would never have allowed herself to be driven here into hiding in the frozen wastelands of the north. She would much rather be in the warmth and comfort of Camelot, sitting upon the throne as she always should have been. Arthur might be king of Camelot now... but she was coming for him. As soon as she had the Key.
At least the Fortress of Ismere was nicer than her old hovel in the woods. It was big and sometimes drafty, but it had its perks.
It also helped that she controlled this land. Who else would even want it? She had guards all around the surrounding lands, and if anyone entered her territory, she knew about it almost immediately. The men knew their orders. They were to stop any advancing troops by any means necessary... but she preferred that all able-bodied men be taken alive. She had use for them.
At the moment, Morgana was seated on her makeshift throne. Ragnor had just captured some troops that he claimed wore the colors of Camelot, and she had agreed to pay him handsomely... but she wanted to see proof of her investment.
The doors opened and Ragnor entered, pushing a very large man in chains. Morgana sat up a little straighter as she recognized the man. He was certainly hard to forget.
"I know him," she said with a smile. "I'll pay your price... but leave me with him for a moment, won't you? We need to catch up. Don't we... Percival? That's your name, is it not?"
Timeline: Season 5, Episode 1 (Arthur's Bane, Pt. 1)
Tag: Percival
Notes: Sorry for the very slight godmodding....
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Post by morg on Jan 23, 2013 23:58:48 GMT -5
Once again, Morgana felt something stir inside her at Arthur's words. It surprised her, but if she was honest with herself, she would realize that it wasn't all that surprising. Very deep down in her core, that was what all of this was about. Love. Love, and acceptance and hurt.
She'd lost her parents at such a young age. She didn't even remember her mother, and Gorlois had lived just long enough for Morgana to learn about a father's love for his child and to crave it even after he was gone. She'd been angry and rebellious when Uther brought her to Camelot as his ward, mostly because she wanted to be with Gorlois so badly and she was angry that he was gone. She'd been torn between feeling resentful towards this man who wanted to "replace" her father and desperately craving the fatherly affection she had lost when Gorlois died. But she had always felt like an outsider.
If Uther had loved her, Morgana didn't see it. It wasn't like the unconditional love she had received from Gorlois. Morgana always felt that Uther cared for her as long as she "behaved" herself. She wasn't allowed to question his authority, his opinions, his decisions. She wasn't allowed to do what she thought was right when it opposed the laws he'd set down for the kingdom. She still remembered his hands around her throat, his threats, when she helped Mordred escape, or the night she spent in the dungeon for opposing him. If that was Uther's love, then Morgana didn't need it.
"He had a funny way of showing it," Morgana said, hating the emotional tone in her voice.
She looked over at Uther once again. Though he was unmistakably dead, she still half-expected him to sit up and start barking orders at her. She wasn't used to him being so still and peaceful.
Turning back to Arthur, Morgana tried to harden her eyes, but it wasn't entirely convincing. If he looked carefully enough, he'd be able to see right through it. Right now, when it was just the two of them, it was hard to look him in the eye and hate him. He had that look on his face--the one she always said made him look like a kicked puppy. They used to laugh and joke around and support each other. She had cared once. And at this precise moment, she couldn't remember when or why she stopped caring.
This was dangerous. She had to get out of here. She had to get away from him before he broke down the walls she had so carefully constructed around her heart.
So why was she still rooted to the spot?
"What would you have done, Arthur?" she demanded harshly, trying to lash out at him and put him back on the defense. "What would you have done if I came to you and told you I had magic? Would you have turned me in? Would you have told him? Or would you have supported me? All your life, all you ever heard from your--from our father--was that magic was evil. Would you have trusted me?"
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Post by morg on Jan 20, 2013 19:07:34 GMT -5
Welcome to the Camelot Club, located in Chicago, Illinois. It's 1922, the age of flappers and Prohibition... and the height of the mob era. With the sale, production, and transportation of alcohol now prohibited, powerful businessmen like the great Uther Pendragon have become powerful gangsters, producing, selling, and serving alcohol on the black market and in secret underground clubs like the Camelot Club.
Uther runs a dirty business, and is known for killing anyone who opposes him. But he is also a family man, with two children--his son, Arthur and his adopted daughter (who is secretly his real daughter), Morgana. Arthur is an honorable man, and he doesn't like the way his father runs the business. He wants to turn the business into a legal, legitimate one, and he has just the idea for a new product they can import--coffee. He is also in love with Guinevère, a waitress and lounge singer at the Camelot Club, even though he knows his father doesn't approve.
Morgana, meanwhile, is full of anger and resentment towards her adopted father, who she blames for the death of her father Gorlois, a former friend turned business rival of Uther's. He also kept her separated from her sister, Morgause, who now runs the LeFay organization in her father's place. Morgana is working with Morgause to bring down the Pendragon organization from within, then she plans to merge the two businesses, so that she will become the most powerful woman in Chicago.
New to the organization is Merlin Emrys, a young, idealistic man who has recently been hired as Arthur's right-hand man. He is also hiding a dangerous secret--he is actually a cop working undercover to find evidence against Uther. His father, also a cop, was killed two years ago by Uther himself, and he's determined to destroy the whole organization. But he is surprised to find that Arthur is a good man, who carries a great deal of guilt about his father's business dealings and wants to go legitimate. Merlin finds himself becoming friends with Arthur, and acting as his moral compass. But meanwhile, he also feels a dangerous attraction toward Uther's daughter, Morgana. He catches on to what she is doing and he means to stop her by any means necessary... but can he?
(I'd like to continue this in a series of threads. Since we don't have an Uther, I figure we can mainly focus on Arthur, Gwen, Morgana, and Merlin, along with Morgause, if she's interested, and Elyan. Any of the knights can also work for Uther, and any non-canons who would like to take part, feel free to PM me, and we'll see if we can find a place for you! Any new threads related to this story should be listed as "A Dangerous Game, Part X." Admin, I hope it's OK to do this here... I just thought it would be fun to reimagine the Merlin story in the 1920s. This was inspired by a recent photoshoot featuring Katie and Colin... they look so amazing together!)Scene 1: In which Merlin, new to the Camelot Club, meets Morgana for the first time, before being hired as Arthur's right hand man.
Setting: The Camelot Club, a lush, dimly-lit nightclub located in an underground basement beneath Uther Pendragon's automotive factory
Time: Early evening, around 6 or 7:00.
Tag: Merlin
The dress was red silk, trimmed with red fringe. It swept over one shoulder, leaving the other bare, and skimmed over her body just enough to show off her generous curves. It was scandalously short, showing off her long, shapely legs, which she wore clad in black fishnet tights. Her arms and hands were covered in long red gloves, and her hair pulled back in curls, as was the current style. Morgana LeFay-Pendragon was dressed to kill, and she knew it. Uther would have a fit if he saw her like this, but Morgana didn't care. She wanted to be noticed, to shock everyone. Her father's men (she jokingly called them "the knights") would watch her with appreciation, knowing that she was strictly hands-off for the likes of them. She just liked to tease them.
Tonight Guinevère would be making her singing debut at the Camelot Club, and Morgana, having befriended the girl and encouraged her to try out as a singer, was eager to attend. There was also a rumor of a new member of her father's "organization" that Morgana hoped to meet.
The Camelot Club was the place to be... the hottest club in Chicago, and tonight there would be a celebration in honor of the recent defeat of another one of Uther's rivals. The man was probably now sleeping in the murky waters of the Chicago River by now, and Morgana ached for his family. He had a wife and two daughters, if she recalled. Morgana knew how they felt. Uther had also killed her father... she couldn't prove it, but she was sure of it. And even if he didn't do the deed himself, it had been on his orders. She sometimes looked at the"knights" and wondered which of them had been charged with the killing for Gorlois. Maybe Leon, or Gwaine. It didn't matter, though... because it was surely Uther's fault, and he was the one she blamed. And one day she would make him pay.
Dressed in her red dress, Morgana stepped out of Uther's apartment and into her car. She could drive the car herself, but Uther insisted on employing a chauffeur and guard to take her where ever she wanted to go.
"To the club, James," she said coolly, noticing how the chauffeur eyed her in the rearview mirror.
The club was on the South side of the city... a seedy neighborhood where many shady deals went down. But no one would dare touch the red Rolls Royce, knowing that it carried precious cargo. Uther Pendragon's adopted daughter was off-limits in the gang wars.
When James pulled the car to a stop in front of the warehouse, Morgana gave her hair a final fluff and added a touch of red lipstick before stepping out of the car. The night was warm, she noticed, and full of promise.
"Excalibur," she said, speaking the code word that allowed her to enter the club. Leon let her pass, and she was soon immersed in the crowd where the booze flowed and the sound of jazz music hung heavy in the air.
She immediately looked around for Guinevère, expecting that the young woman would be waiting tables before making her debut. But she didn't see Gwen. She did, however, notice a dark-haired man by the pool table, who was watching her with interest.
She looked at him for a moment. He was new... definitely not a regular. She knew most of them by now, and she knew that the regulars had been already taught not to look at her too long. This man was breaking that unwritten rule.
A smile spread slowly across her face. He was handsome, but awkward somehow. He seemed out of place. Morgana realized he must be the new guy. So of course, she must go over and greet him.
Moving slowly to the music, Morgana made her way over to the pool table. "You know, it isn't gentemanly to stare," she said. |
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Post by morg on Jan 19, 2013 23:49:50 GMT -5
Morgana narrowed her eyes at him, watching the hand that gripped the sword. If he drew the sword and came towards her, she could use her magic to throw him backwards and make her escape. She wasn't worried about that. The greater danger would be if he tried to call for the guards. They would be harder to escape, even if most of Camelot's guards had always been a bit incompetent, in Morgana's eyes.
But the way he gripped his sword was so very typical of Arthur. He used it as a threat, even though he probably knew she wasn't frightened by it. There had been a time when she would have made some kind of joke to that effect, reminding him of the time when she had bested him in swordfighting practice and he fell backwards into a pile of manure.
But there was also the fact that he could easily have drawn the sword and come at her... but he wasn't doing that. He wasn't calling the guards, either. He was wary, of course, as he should have been. But he wasn't immediately trying to kill or capture her, either.
And for the first time, Morgana felt something. A pang of--maybe not regret... but sadness shot through her as though Arthur had pierced her with his sword.
It startled her, and she staggered backwards slightly, her eyes widening.
You always were a better man than your father.
That was what she had said to him once. She had meant it then. And could she really say it wasn't true now?
She had been angry with him ever since she'd discovered the truth about her father. Finding out that she was the illegitimate child, swept under a rug and lied to her whole life had hurt deeply, especially since Uther seemed to give all of his attention and affection to Arthur. Arthur was the favored child, the son, the heir, the future king. Morgana was the dark little secret, there to look pretty, but not to speak out or have opinions.
In the beginning, it had all been about her hatred of Uther and her desire to see magic returned to the kingdom. She hadn't even originally been sure she wanted the kingdom for herself, as long as Arthur could bring magic back to Camelot. But learning the truth of her parentage had changed everything. Now she saw the father-daughter bond that had been denied her, the position that had been denied her... all in favor of Arthur. That was when she decided she wanted the throne. Morgause had supported her, encouraged her as she became consumed with hatred for everyone she once loved. But now that Morgause was gone, Morgana felt so empty and lost, and couldn't even summon up the hatred anymore.
She glanced over at Uther's body once again. She couldn't even fully hate him anymore... he was nothing now. She couldn't even feel the sense of victory she had expected to feel once he was dead. She had caused his death by enchanting the charm and giving it to Agravaine to put around Uther's neck. The charm had caused the healing magic of the mysterious old wizard to backfire, killing Uther. And it only now occurred to Morgana that what she had done was make things worse for herself. Yes, she had wanted Uther dead, but was this the best way to go about it? It Uther's life had been saved by the unknown wizard, Arthur might have seen that magic could be used for good, and might have been more receptive to it when he did become king. She'd ruined that chance.
Morgana's eyes met Arthur's again, her chin raised defiantly at him. If not for the coldness in her pale eyes, she might have looked much like the spirited young girl she had once been.
"It's no secret how I felt about Uther. And why shouldn't I hate him? He denied that I was ever his daughter and kept it a secret for most of my life. He lied to me. And if he'd ever found out I had magic, he might have had me killed or at least locked me away in a dungeon forever. I just needed to see that he was dead. I'm glad he's dead. But if I had something else planned, you know I wouldn't have come in alone."
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Post by morg on Jan 12, 2013 23:09:48 GMT -5
The anger was slowing starting to boil inside her again, but instead of the bitter, burning hatred, Morgana felt unexpected tears scalding her eyes. Furiously, she tried to brush them away, but not quickly enough. He surely would have noticed them, and she looked away so that she wouldn't have to see his reaction.
"Well, we can't go back, can we? You can't go back and finish the job."
After all she had done since that day, she could only assume that his biggest regret was that he had not succeeded in killing her that day. Sometimes Morgana regretted that, too. Ever since she had woken up on the Isle of the Blessed with Morgause sobbing over her, Morgana had felt a terrible rage inside her that threatened to consume her. Sometimes, like now, it even terrified herself.
She had been good once. She remembered it, like a distant memory from another life. And even though she told herself that she was still fighting for a good cause--the restoration of the Old Religion to Camelot and the surrounding kingdoms--she knew, deep down, that many of her actions were cruel. And sometimes the ends didn't justify the means.
Technically, Arthur and Guinevère had never done anything to hurt her. But they stood in her way and prevented her from carrying out the mission she had chosen for herself, so they had to go. But she never did understand why Merlin cared so much... why he fought so hard for Arthur, who had always treated him with such disrespect. Why couldn't he have fought for her? She knew he had cared for her once... she even once believed that maybe, when Uther was gone, they could have been more than friends. They'd always had such a strong connection, ever since they had worked to save Mordred together. Why had he chosen Arthur over her?
"You never really understood. No one did. I was alone and scared, and I had no one. If I could have stayed with the druids that day, instead of being forced to go back with Arthur... Instead, I only had Morgause. She was the only one, and now she's gone, too, thanks to you!"
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Post by morg on Jan 5, 2013 22:55:38 GMT -5
It was the look in the young noblewoman's eyes that fueled Morgana's wrath even further. She knew the look, for she often worse a similar expression on her own face. It was a look of pure hatred, and Morgana couldn't deny that it hurt. Yes, she was consumed by hatred all ready. But somehow it bothered her, deep in her very core, to see others hating her right back.
When she was a little girl, she had once asked Gorlois why he always went off to war. She couldn't understand then when people wanted to hurt other people. Why did some people hate other people? And Gorlois had explained to her that hate was simply love, turned on its back. Morgana still believed that in a way. She was filled with hate now because the love she so desperately craved had been denied to her--or so she thought. Gorlois was taken from her when she was so very young, and it was Uther's fault. Uther had never listened to her opinions or cared what she wanted. He didn't respect her and couldn't even bring himself to admit that she was truly his daughter. He loved only Arthur... that was obvious. Arthur clearly cared more for Gwen than he did for her... and the same was true of Gwen. And then there was Merlin. Merlin, the man who had tried to poison her. She had thought he was a friend; she had trusted him. She had cared for him and believed he cared for her. But he betrayed that trust. And she didn't want to admit to herself how much that memory hurt.
She had no real connection with Caitrin, and that hurt her, too. She was so close with Arthur, and with Merlin... but she was left out of that particular bond. Always she was left out. It was like she was persecuted for having magic, for not really belonging in Camelot at all. Well, she'd show them. She'd show them all.
"I highly doubt that you have any information about Arthur that would be of any use to me," she said coldly. "But your uncle has already sworn his allegiance to me, and I rather hoped we could have been friends. But I suppose you prefer the dungeon to a nice, warm bed."
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Mar 7, 2015 18:26:02 GMT -5
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Post by morg on Jan 3, 2013 23:25:01 GMT -5
The woman's words struck a chord with Morgana, perhaps more than had even been intended. Oh, yes, she knew exactly how dangerous it could be to defy Uther, even for the king's beloved ward. Maybe she wasn't quite as beloved as she had always been led to believe. Surely he would not have put his hands around her throat in such a way if he had actually cared for her at all. The memory flooded her with a sickening wave of emotions--fear and hurt and anger and, for a moment, an almost blinding sense of hatred.
Morgana had been a very young girl when she lost her dear father Gorlois. She still remembered him and how he had loved her, even after all this time. When she came to live with Uther soon after her father's death, she had been full of grief. She and Uther had not started off on the best of terms, as she fought him in just about every way. Things had quieted down over time, and Morgana had somehow managed to convince herself that Uther loved her in his way. Maybe not as Gorlois had done, but he did care for her, didn't he? That was all she really craved--the love and unconditional acceptance of a father.
But now she knew that Uther didn't care about her at all. Her opinions and thoughts meant nothing to him. Her only purpose in this kingdom was to stand by Uther's side and look pretty. She had no doubt now that if he caught her trying to help this woman, he'd throw her back into the dungeon.... or worse.
But just because something was dangerous... just because it could get her killed.... that didn't mean it wasn't the right thing to do. It was easy to do the right thing when there was no threat involved. But Morgana knew it took true courage to stand up for what was right when to do so was risking death.
And Morgana was not a coward.
"Oh, wouldn't he?" she said, the wounded tone evident in her voice as she rubbed at her throat. "He's tried once before. He had his hands about my neck when he learned that I had helped Mordred. But I am not afraid of him. I cannot stand back and let people suffer if I have any ability to help them. Please, let me help you get out of the city before you are seen."
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Post by morg on Dec 27, 2012 22:33:07 GMT -5
1. Based on the way everyone keeps talking, I'm glad I haven't seen the finale yet.
2. This way I can stay in denial!
3. I might have an idea....
4. I'm tired.
5. I want to post, but I don't know where...
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Post by morg on Dec 24, 2012 23:45:55 GMT -5
Morgana froze, staring back at him. She should have just blasted him backwards with one of her spells, maybe knocked him into the wall. It usually didn't take much to knock Arthur unconscious, and there had once been a time when she would have teased him about the frequency of the times he wound up, flat on his back. But she didn't tease anymore. Somehow, she had forgotten how.
But she also couldn't summon the power to throw him backwards. She couldn't even make herself run from the room. She just stood there, her pale green eyes locked onto his blue ones. She should have been filled with anger. She should have been laughing at the fact that he was likely blaming himself for their father's death, when it had really been she who was responsible. Instead, she felt nothing at all. Not anger, or hatred, or even fear or guilt or sorrow. Just... nothing.
It scared her a little. But the loss of Morgause was still a deep wound in her heart, leaving her with a gaping hole inside. With Morgause's death, Morgana was left with nothing... no one to be loyal to. No one to depend on or trust with her life. Yes, she had Agravaine working as her spy... but he meant nothing to her. But here before her was Arthur, someone who had once meant the world to her.
She was used to thinking of him as an obstacle to what she wanted--the throne of Camelot and the ability to bring magic back to the kingdom. But coming face to face with him now, in this moment, when it was just the two of them... it reminded her of simpler times. Happier times. When she didn't feel so empty inside.
"Arthur," she said his name. She had to think quickly, before he recovered from his shock and called the guards to bring her to the dungeon. "I know I shouldn't have come... I--I just had to see... I heard that Uther was dead. I needed to see for myself. I mean no harm..."
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Post by morg on Dec 17, 2012 23:16:15 GMT -5
Looking back, there had always been a sense of something missing in Morgana's life... a hole that she couldn't quite fill. Maybe it was the magical powers that had remained buried and unexplored, or maybe it was the sister that she'd never been given a chance to know. Or maybe it was both of those things, two things that were important parts of her that had long been denied her by others. She'd lost her mother, her father, and her older sister was taken from her before she ever got to know her. But now she had the chance to make up for that loss and to get to know her long-lost sister. She could learn from her and together they could form an unbreakable bond, stronger than the pathetic rule of Uther Pendragon.
Morgana had never really wanted to bring harm to anyone, other than Uther. Her anger and bitterness towards him had been slowly growing into a terrible hatred. But she didn't want to hurt anyone else. Until now. Now, as she looked back at Camelot, all she saw was a pit of lies and betrayal. Uther would kill her if she knew of her magic. Gaius, with his sleeping draughts, had sought to suppress her magic. And Merlin had tried to murder her. Maybe Arthur and Gwen were in on it too. Maybe they were all against her. Maybe the only person in the world she could truly trust was the one person who shared her blood--her own sister. Morgause had saved her life; she had not tried to take it from her. Why would she trust anyone else?
She took the bowl from Morgause with shaky hands, splashing some of the water on her now-tattered dress. It had once been one of her finest... now she wanted to burn it.
Morgana managed to take a few sips from the bowl, feeling the cool water soothe her still-raw throat. She nodded for her sister to take the bowl from her, then closed her eyes for a moment.
Was it possible to trust someone that you had only known for such short time? Morgana thought it was. But she had trusted Merlin after knowing him for a few months, and he had turned out to be a traitor. But Morgause was her sister. Of course she trusted her.
"I know," she said, smiling tiredly. "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you."
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Post by morg on Dec 11, 2012 23:24:34 GMT -5
Morgana felt uncomfortable with the way his eyes locked onto hers with his teary-eyed yet steadfast gaze. She didn't know how to deal with his tears; she hadn't expected them. Hostility and anger and blame she could handle. But not emotions. She wanted to hate him and he was making it difficult to do that.
But he poisoned you.
She had to keep telling herself that. It strengthened her resolve. No matter what explanations he came up with, that fact was pretty hard to ignore, and even harder to forgive.
She looked away from his eyes, forcing herself to stare at a point just above him. She'd gotten good at avoiding people's eyes during that last year in Camelot. So long she had played the good, gentle lady of Camelot, the dutiful ward of King Uther, that she was used to avoiding people's eyes when she was lying.
And if she didn't look at Merlin as he talked, she could tell herself that he was lying. "You always had a choice, Merlin," she said. "You could have trusted me. Just because I had magic doesn't mean the curse was my fault. I didn't have that kind of power. Morgause protected me from the spell... you could have asked me to help. I could have talked to her. I only wanted Uther dead, but I didn't want anyone else hurt. I could have talked her into reversing the spell."
Of course, Morgana had no idea that Morgause had not told her the whole truth about the curse. She knew Morgause had caused the sleeping sickness and the attack, but she didn't know that she had been the "source" of the illness. And between the two of them, Morgana was always going to trust Morgause, her now dearly departed sister, over the man who tried to murder her.
"The truth is, you believed I was evil because I had magic, didn't you? I guess I proved you're right... I hope you're happy now."
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