Guilty Pleasures

[Guinevère]

Guinevère hoped he would be rested, and not pushing himself for want to see them more. Perhaps once the boys were in bed, she could get him to lie down with her and hold her while they talk. Even if he did not sleep, the rest would do him good.

Her thoughts were distracted by his kiss, and she wished it could linger for a moment longer. "I love you," She reminded him, never wishing him to forget--especially in times as dangerous as these. Her hand lifted to stroke his jawline, but dropped with she heard Thomas' door open. "I am ready!" He hurried to Arthur's side, and Guinevère noticed he wore the same (almost) colors as Arthur was wearing now. "Be safe out there," She told Thomas--and Arthur.

Thomas waved and hurried to the door to open it, and Guinevère waited until they were both gone before moving to sit and feel both joy at having Arthur near, and fear at when he would return to the fighting.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur smiled as Thomas emerged from his room, and before they headed out, he gave a small nod of farewell to Guinevère. Though he knew he would see her again tonight. He casually put his hand on Thomas' back as they walked down the hall, and toward the training ground. With Arthur gone, they had needed someone else to make sure the men were still keeping up with their training. Now it was time to see their progress. He spoke briefly with their teacher to see who needed help in what. Arthur's time was far too limited to give each of them tips, depending on what their weakness was. But made a mental note to do so once things calmed down. After all, he would not be able to bestow any knighthoods until the war was over for he would not be here. He began to announce different terms, seeing the men fall into position for each. His eyes scanned over the men, looking to see their form and position.

After saying a series of them, he was satisfied. He spoke a few words of encouragement to them all, telling them that they were doing well and to continue to work hard in his absence. He knew how a few words of encouragement could go a long way. Once all was said and done, he motioned for Thomas to follow him, where they could go to the side of field a bit more so that they could have more privacy. On the way, he picked up two wooden training swords. Once they were just a little ways from the group, he passed Thomas one of the swords. "Show me what you learned," he told him encouragingly, dropping any formality between him and Thomas. There may have been a time where he had shown that he wanted nothing to do with the boy . . . but now, nothing could be further from the truth. And he wanted to be sure that Thomas -- and Guinevère -- knew that.

[Guinevère]

Thomas enjoyed his day with Arthur, and watching him train his men. Thomas rarely had left the king's side for he wanted to spend all the time he could with him. Seeing the two sides of him--one slightly more formal when public, and the much more relaxed and easy one when it was just them might have confused him had he not been expecting it thanks to conversations with his mother.

Training one on one with the king was his favorite part. He liked trying to show him what he learned, and doing his best. "I cannot wait to be a knight!" He told Arthur when they walked him back away from the field, "I want to be the best there ever was!" After he was dropped off, Guinevère spent the next few hours with her two sons, and preparing a little for Amaren's birthday. She had a few things she wanted to give him, such as clothing, a few toy, and Thomas had gone with Elyan and found a small shield for Amaren to play with. One that she noticed, held no seal yet.

Guinevère knew why, and she lifted the small shield into her hands, running her fingers over where the dragon should be. Yes, she knew why--the heir would never wield a false seal. He would have a Pendragon on it or nothing. One day, she promised herself. One day soon.

Thomas had yet to create his own coat of arms as well. As Lancelot had none before his death, it would befall to his son to create it. It would be something Guinevère would allow him to do when he was older and could make it himself.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur had to admit that he felt disappointed when his time with Thomas came to an end. He truly wished he could just spend the day with his family, but in order to be there tomorrow for Amaren's birthday, he needed to get as much done today as he could. He told Thomas how well he was doing, and how he had no doubts that he would be the greatest knight that this world had ever seen. Taking him back to Guinevère's chambers, he went to continue with his duties for the day. He had a meeting in a couple of hours, but had to meet to go over the details of the war thus far. He sat with a few of the men for some time, and when that meeting was over, planned to return to his chambers, get changed and them meet with the council. However, inside of going to his own chambers, he found himself going to Elena's . . . not even having realized it until he was standing in the room.

Her, empty room. She had taken most of her things with her when she had returned home, but some of her things still remained.He closed the door behind him and moved to her bed, sitting at the edge of it. So many memories filled this room. It was where they had been intimate, where she had been so ill, where both their children had died . . . he missed her. A part of him would forever mourn for her. He loved her; not in the way he loved Guinevère, but in the way that she had become his good friend over the years of the marriage. The good memories with her had been wonderful . . . and yet the last conversation they had was one where she was hurt and humiliated. He knew that he was the reason their marriage was destroyed, as he was the reason she was dead. He put his head in his hands, propping his elbows on his knees as he just closed his eyes and let the tears fill his eyes for what he had done to her.

He had broken her emotionally, and he was the cause of her death. Everyone who died from this war, was blood on his hands. The guilt would never leave his heart or soul; he would just have to learn to live with it. And he knew, that he could not speak to Guinevère about this . . . because she felt guilty as well. When she should not. Yet it just made him feel worse for how he had hurt both woman. Two incredible women . . . ones he had been and was completely unworthy of. He wasn't sure how long he had sat here, just thinking of her, and all he had done to her. It was a knock at the door that broke him from this moment, looking up and making sure his eyes were not too red. A servant had come to inform him that the council was waiting. Arthur had not even realized the time and that he was late for his meeting, so with one final glance around her room, he composed him and went to the meeting where he spent the next few hours.

After that, he had to get Amaren's gift, but not only that . . . he wanted to get something for Thomas too. He knew any gifts for Guinevère would just risk exposing them, but he planned to make everything up to her when the time came that they could marry. Before he knew it, it was night time and Arthur returned to his chambers, as Merlin assisted him in removing his chainmail and Arthur changed into something more comfortable. He told Merlin that if anyone was looking for him, to come and get him from Guinevère's quarters. Merlin seemed not to question anything for he knew about them . . . and seemed very willing to help them find time together. With that plan set in place, Arthur went to Guinevère's quarters, eager to see her and the children, even if Thomas and Amaren were both sleeping.

[Guinevère]

When Arthur entered though the servant's door in Guinevère's chambers, the room was empty. Yet voices could be heard from the main rooms. Laughter.

Her day had been spent looking forward to his visit tonight, and tomorrow. Everything she did, or thought had been of him and their family. Currently, she was lying before the fire--with no idea how she would get back to her feet, for her belly made the adventure of rising a complex one--while her two son's played.

Thomas was pretending to train Amaren, who had a long bit of straw and was swinging it wildly. "Amaren! Your footwork! You need to practice more!" Thomas said, though she had the feeling he was trying to think of things Arthur might have said and was only repeating them. "He will need time to learn to have better balance before he understand footwork." Guinevère playfully warned her son.

Thomas laughed, "When will he grow up and be fun to play with?" Which in turn made Guinevère laugh. "Babies take time. You used to be the same way, walking and falling." Thomas moved closer to his mother, before sitting down and watching his brother. "Someone has to teach him how to be man." Guinevère smiled softly at Thomas, reaching up to brush back his hair. "Your such a good brother to him, Thomas, never let anything change that."

She hoped that he knew how much she loved them both. "Why would anything change that? Is he going to mess up my toys? I will still love him even if he brake another one. Guinevère laughed softly, "Good. I fear as he learns to play he will brake a few more." She warned. "I am going to need better hiding places!" He counted, leaving her laughing.

[Arthur Pendragon]

As soon as Arthur walked in, he heard laughter and talking coming from the main sitting area. He slowly walked toward the room, peeking through the opened door at everyone sitting there: Thomas with Guinevère and Amaren moving about. He smiled at the sight before opening the door to fully appreciate it. "Having a late night party are we?" He asked teasingly, but before he could get another word in, Amaren squalled and came hurriedly toward him; the rushed action making him stumble and fall to the ground. Amaren didn't seem upset, but more so startled as he picked himself back up and resorted to crawling to Arthur with the piece of hay in his hand.

Thomas hurried toward them too, causing Arthur to put his hand on the young boy's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. He knew he couldn't refer to Amaren as his son in front of Thomas, so kept in mind to avoid using titles like that. Lowering his hand, he moved to his knees, he was in front of Amaren and Thomas, putting his hands out to him so that he could place his tiny ones in Arthur's large palms as he tried to help him stand again."Now whats this new toy you have here?" He asked, referring to the piece of hay. "An early birthday present from Thomas?" He asked jokingly, giving a teasing look to Thomas, before he glanced at Guinevère, smiling at her.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère looked up in surprise when she heard Arthur's voice come in from her chambers. Thomas would be too young to fully understand what that meant, but Guinevère liked that Arthur was in her room. She had called it their bed before, and with how he used it more then his own, she thought it was a just title.

Both brothers hurried to him, and she tried to sit up, but the awkward shape of her growing belly made rolling over and balance odd. She ended up just falling back slowly, and resting on her elbows. "Arthur!" Thomas used his name since they were alone, something she knew he enjoyed doing because it made them feel close. "It's not a birthday gift, he cannot have them until tomorrow. He found that outside and cried when I tried to make him put it down. So Mama said to let him have it." Thomas was over explaining but Guinevère knew it was how children were.

When Arthur smiled at her, she felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of him surrounded by their children. Soon there would be another he could hold. Guinevère prayed he would be near for the birth, for it was something she wanted for him more then anything else. For him to have the first moments of this child's life, as he had wanted with Amaren. His words of wanting them, after first meeting his son, still came to her. She moved one hand to her belly and tried again to sit before just laying back down.

Amaren was swinging his strand of hay wildly, smacking Arthur with harmless swats while Thomas was speaking to him. "We are spending time before the fire, since a a cool night, can you stay? Please!?"

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur's smile remained in place when Thomas began to explain the story of Amaren's piece of hay. He noticed Guinevère from the corner of his eye, struggling to sit up and had to suppress a small chuckle. Between Thomas talking, Amaren whacking Arthur with the hay, and Guinevère's large belly preventing her from sitting up . . . everything just felt perfect in this moment. And he could answer Thomas' question with great ease. "I can," he assured him. "But its late, and well past your bed time I assume," he said in a slightly questioning tone as he looked at Guinevère to make sure he wasn't assuming too much.

"Why don't you get dressed for bed and we'll come to tuck you in," he offered. "Besides, you'll need your energy for Amaren's birthday celebration tomorrow," Arthur added. When Amaren kept hitting him with the hay, one particular instance poking him in the eye with it, Arthur blew it away. It startled Amaren for a moment, as he stared wide eyed at his father. Arthur blew at the piece of hay again, or more directly in Amaren's face and he just pointed the hay at Arthur's face, as it touched his cheek. Amaren was having far too much fun with this piece of hay.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère just waited there, fully planning to demand Arthur help her up so she did not have to crawl to the wall to borrow it's strength to stand. Thomas seemed to pout, but he also seemed to know better then to question something Arthur told him. "Can I come with you to the training field again tomorrow?" he asked as she backed away toward his door.

"I want to see if they got better over night!" Guinevère's hand moved to her belly as she waited for Thomas to exit the room, though when he did, he left hi door open so he could hear Arthur's answer if Arthur spoke up. Turning to look back at father and son, she watched Amaren keep playing. "I should ready Amaren too." But for that she need his aid to stand. "They both will find slumber the moment they stop moving long enough to close their eyes." For they'd played hard today.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur loved Thomas's enthusiasm for training. To know that he did it out of want and interest rather than obligation. It was all the more reason Arthur had not doubt that the boy would be an incredible knight. "Of course," he answered without an ounce of hesitancy. "We'll have to go first thing in the morning, so we'll be back in plenty of time for Amaren's birthday." A celebration that Arthur did not want to limit by only getting gifts for his son of blood, but also his son of heart. Besides, he had everything planned out in how to present it to him as well. When Thomas seemed satisfied with his answer, he closed his door to get ready for bed.

At which point, Arthur turned to Guinevère assuming that she would need his help to stand. He moved closer to her, kneeling next to her as he smiled. He tried to find the right teasing words to say but found himself chuckling with amusement, rather than attempting to suppress his laughter. "If you like, I can get Amaren ready for bed. You look rather comfortable and I would not wish to disrupt you." He was teasing her of course, his hand moving to rest over her large belly and even leaning down the kiss it, and thus both kissing Guinevère as well as their unborn child. He only broke the embrace when he heard small thuds . . . as their stampeding son crawled toward them, still clutching on to that piece of hay.

[Guinevère]

Arthur moved over and teased her while placing a kiss on her belly. Her hand touched his hair as he did, letting her heart swell with pride, and love, and so many other emotions in this moment. He only pulled back when Amaren joined them. "I think you know full well that I am in need of aid to stand. Normally Rosa would be here, but . . . I gave her the night free." She they could be a family.

Amaren out his hands on his mother's shoulder and pushed to stand, while waving his straw sword everywhere. "You know, I could buy him every toy in the market and he might only hold it for a little while . . . but let him find something like straw, a rock, or even lately my shoes . . . and he will hold it and carry it proudly for far longer." Amaren swung the straw so hard once he lost his balance and tumbled sideways into his father. "You should ready him for bed." Another memory she wanted him to hold close.

[Arthur Pendragon]

He could not stop smiling, especially as she explained that Amaren could have all the toys in the market, yet would still remain attached to this piece of hay. "He reminds me of his mother in that way," he began to say, knowing that he should probably elaborate to prove his point. "His appreciation for the simpler things in life." That humbleness and genuine appreciation. It was the why he knew that he could buy all the gold and jewelry in the world for her, yet she would gain more joy if he gave her something like flowers, or cleared his day to spend with her. Her appreciation for things lied not in the expense, but in the thought behind it and the sentiment. He had learned that lesson many years ago, when he'd offered to cook for her and he'd just stolen dinner from the palace.

He broke from his thoughts when she said that he should ready Amaren for bed. "We both should," he told her, wanting to do it with her. With that, he rose to his feet and leaned over, taking her hands in his own to help her to a stand. Once she was on her feet and stable, he leaned down to pick up Amaren, who let out a cry of distress when his hay remained on the floor. "Sorry sorry," Arthur quickly apologize as he hurriedly bent down to pick it up and put it securely in Amaren's small hand again. Immediately, the baby boy was happy once more. "He also is like his mother in this way too; yelling at me when I've done something wrong," he said in a strong teasing tone, once again, thinking back to that time he spent living in her house, when she had scolded him.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère smiled as Arthur finally helped her, while his words should either be a tease or a complement. "You see these things and assume they are my fault, but I assure you there is more Pendragon in him then me." She teased, knowing there was a good blend but wanting to tease him in return as well as show him how like his son was to him.

"He challenges Thomas daily, with no though to his larger or strong foe. He is too brave for this mother's comfort, even while she find pride his action. He is loyal to a fault, and still had a strong dislike of Sir Flynt." Because Arthur never seemed to like the poor knight after her suggestion of wedding him should Amaren look like Arthur. She knew now--as she did then--that she could never teat a man that way.

"He also looks rather charming in red and gold." She teased, and her hand that was not on her belly, lifted to touch her son's jaw. "He is beginning to lose the babyness in his face." Looking more like his father, and they both would know what that mean. While Amaren would have her coloring, and curly hair, the shape of him would take on more like Arthur's. The jawline that was beginning to show from some angels, his noise, and the way his face was set. "Lets just hope he has your height." For knights seemed to like being tall.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur couldn't help but chuckle when she described all the ways that their son was like him. Especially the one about Sir Flynt. Arthur knew that he held strong bias against the man, but in the end . . . he was still his brother in arms. "Well clearly Amaren has good instincts," he said with a bit of a cheeky smile. He was pleasantly surprised that it was so easy to joke about something that had caused them both so much distress just months ago. It felt like so much had changed, most of all their circumstances. "And the charming bit, he most certainly got from me," he added with a bit of joking arrogance. Arthur looked down at their son as Guinevère's hand touched the boy's jaw.

"Even if he is not tall, he will still have a strong presence. I have no doubt about that," he said, never wanting it to seem like any trait that Amaren gained from her, would be negative. Arthur loved Guinevère's height, but he also knew that boys wanted to be taller. Either way, Amaren would be strong, mentally, emotionally and physically. For he had the strongest woman raising him, less in the latter sense though the first two kinds were more important. He could only pray that he was able to see his son grow . . . and that tomorrow would not be his last day with his family. "Though his strength of heart, compassion, wisdom and kindness will all be things he gains from his mother," he told her, as they entered Amarne's room.

[Guinevère]

"Not everything so good comes from me." Arthur seemed to see her too perfect sometimes, and she knew that he-above all others-knew how her mistakes were large and cost people dearly. She had lied about his son, and kept him apart of Amaren needlessly. Had she been honest, they could have done this together, and the months of fighting would have been avoided, for they were doing things his way in the end.

Not letting her thoughts take them to unhappy times she decided that there was another way to tease him, "I think he has a bit of your father in him too . . . " Looking from their son, up to Arthur her smile was soft and teasing. "He has to always have his way, or there is a fuss." She was teasing his father, even knowing that Uther was a hard topic for her--for him. Because despite every single thing that happened to harm his relationship with his father, Arthur loved him and honored his memory. " . . . Yet strong in his believes." While with Uther had had been good and bad, with Amaren it was more with his ideas that laying down for naps where just as bad as getting up from them.

[Arthur Pendragon]

She claimed that not everything so good came from him, but he knew that was not true. She was the primary one raising their son, for he was forced to leave her in these months. And it may extend to leaving her forever. The topic of his father pulled him from such thoughts. Though it proved what goodness Guinevère had. She was teasing his father, speaking of him in more praise than in a negative light . . . when she of all people had a right to hate him. For having arrested his father and having him killed. Yet she never spoke poorly of him, and it never ceased to amaze him how strong she was. "He's a happy child," Arthur said in a soft voice. "He gets that from your side of the family," he said, his tone void of all teasing.

While Arthur was born into a life of privilege, his family was far more torn and broken. He knew his father loved him, for he sacrificed himself for Arthur and Arthur loved him . . . more than words could say. But their love was expressed through either extremely strong actions, or silence. It was Guinevère's side that was raised with open love and affection. And he knew that their children would have that same happy upbringing . . . because of her. Arthur set him down on his bed as he went to get his night clothes so that he could change him. "I think he gets his stubbornness from both of us," he said as he walked back to them, returning to the teasing mood. "Just look at with how much determination he is gripping that hay," Arthur said, teasingly toward their son.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère smiled at Arthur as she watched him begin readying their son for bed. "No, when I look at him with that hay, I see only his father." She teased, knowing that Arthur had his favored things as well. "Such as his father's sword that never leaves his side." The infamous sword that he had pulled from the stone years ago when Morgana had taken over the kingdom and his uncle's betrayal had become apparent.

"You cannot blame me for that." She teased again, then heard footsteps from Thomas hurrying to find them. When Thomas appeared in the doorway he hurried over. "Kings dress little boys?" He questioned and Guinevère moved beside him. "I think he is going to try. Should we warn him about Amaren's wiggling?" She asked and Thomas looked from his mother to Arthur, then back to his mother. "Nnnooo," he said in a tone clearly excited to watch Arthur try to change a wiggling baby.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur smiled when she compared Amaren's hay to Arthur's sword. If Guinevère wished to claim his son, even after his passing then he knew that Amaren would immediately be given the sword. If not, then he would get a bit later in life. He was pulled from his thoughts when Thomas rushed in and questioned king's changing babies. He knew it made no sense now, but would when he learned the truth about Amaren. He gave a playful look of suspicion when everyone seemed to be waiting for him to struggle with Amaren's changing. "Maybe you should get some practice changing him Thomas," Arthur teased.

"For when your mother is feeling tired and needs help." He was of course just teasing the boy, for he knew that Thomas would help as much as he could. And only made Arthur wish he was here to aid them as well. As he began to lift Amaren's shirt, he now knew what they meant by him struggling. And it didn't seem he was willing to let go of his hay. Which only made things more awkward. "Come on now Amaren, everyone's watching and I am trying to impress them," he told him in a low voice, though not too low for the words were meant to be heard by Thomas and Guinevère, to continue the teasing mood.

[Guinevère]

Arthur teased Thomas about getting in practice and Guinevère felt her eyes lower, knowing that Thomas had already gained some practice. While Rosa came daily to help, she could not be here all the time, nor could she be over worked--Guinevère would never allow that. There had been one morning when she had been ill, and Rosa was gone to do a chore, and Amaren had awoken. "I already know how to dress him! I've done it before! He likes to fight you, but you can't be strong with him. Thomas explained.

That morning she had found Thomas with Amaren, with both brothers dressed and playing before the fire. It was hard to be a single mother, but she hoped the war would not last forever and that soon Arthur could be here. Not just to help, but to be apart of their lives. "You have to move with him, he might cry for a moment but he will stop when you pick him up." She explained. Her hand came up to touch Thomas' hair, and brush it back while they watched Arthur try.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur took in their advice, but wasn't too panicked about Amaren fussing. Of course no parent wanted to hear their child cry . . . but he also knew that Amaren wasn't too difficult to calm down when he was upset. "Alright Amaren, how about some team work here," he asked jokingly. Where Amaren's little arms moved, Arthur tried to move the sleeve along with him, but ended up getting his arm stuck in the sleeve in an awkward angle. Amaren started to whimper, as if he was about to cry. Arthur had to quickly react and reversed his actions so that Amaren's arm was through the sleeve again. "You know when I was young, I was apparently quite difficult to change," he began to explain. One particular story was told to him by one of his maids that cared for him when he was a small child.

Arthur knew that Amaren could not yet understand him, so it would really be only Thomas and Guinevère who may understand his story. However, he didn't want Amaren to forget his voice -- though was aware that after months of not being here, it was possible. "I was as stubborn as you," he continued, using the his story to help distract him as Amaren stopped wiggling just enough for Arthur to finally get one arm out of the sleeve. "I struggled so much that at one point my head got stuck in my shirt." Apparently, he'd been all tangled. "I started crying and running about, until I ran into the wall." Not hard, but hard enough for his crying to only grow more out of the shock.

"How did I get stuck?" He said 'repeating' Amaren's question, though nothing was asked. "Just like this," he added as he lifted the shirt up and purposely left it over Amaren's heard, concealing his vision. He left it like that for only a few moments before quickly pulling it down and moving his face closer to his, giving a little "Boo!" At the same. Amaren seemed amused and let out a high pitched laugh. Arthur kept his face close to his son's as he leaned forward and forward, until their noises touched and Arthur gave him a little bop on Amaren's forehead with his own. He then pulled back and began to put his other shirt on top. "After that, I never fussed when getting changed again," he finished, having been so engrossed in his task and moments with Amaren that he nearly forgot that Guinevère and Thomas was in the room.