Guilty Pleasures

[Guinevère]

"You need not worry. This was the most restful sleep that I have had in months." "Right, that is not going to make me worry." She teased him, but meant her words. He might be trying to tell her he was getting more rest now, but the idea of him going to war and not being at his best because he had trouble sleeping did not settle well in her belly.

She went to dress, and already knew which gown she would wear. This one wasn't one she could wear out of her chambers with out a cloak or a wrap around her for it was a bit tighter around her torso. Her belly was rather visible in it. She had not planned to wear this today but upon finding out Arthur would be here . . . how could she not?

The dress was red with a gold under skirt, belt, and trimmings. It also laced in the front so it was one she could dress herself in alone. It was one she had purchased for after this child was born, and as she did not know if she would be here or Eldor de Bors, she had purchased it early enough that she could pack it if need be. That had been before Elena had been taken from this world.

Pausing in her actions, Guinevère stared at nothing while her mind went over the last time she had saw the queen. Elena had once been bright and happy and full of life, and the last time she had saw her, Elena had been thinner and pale and seemed so very sad. Angry, yes, but sad. Guinevère carried the guilt of her actions toward Elena in her heart, and every time she thought of her death she wondered if it would had happen if she had not drove her from her own home.

Hearing Amaren laugh with Arthur, she felt torn. While she wanted to regret her actions . . . . she could not. So instead she laced the gown and walked out to join them while she combed her hair.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur turned to look at Guinevère as she emerged from behind the screen, a soft smile forming on his lips as he just stared at her; completely mesmerized by her beauty. Until Amaren made a sound, causing Arthur's attentions to divert from her and back to their son. "Doesn't your mother look beautiful," he said to Amaren, though really it was for Guinevère's ears. He put Amaren on the ground, letting their son's small fingers wrap around Arthur's hands so that he could walk and get more practice doing so. Arthur stood behind him, behind over Amaren so that he could help him walk as Amaren's grasp tightened around Arthur's fingers.

"Is this evening still a suitable time to come for Amaren's birthday celebration?" Arthur asked, wanting to make sure that there was no need to change the time. He would need to get all his work done before hand so that once he came, he could just spend the entire night here with them. For he had something important to discuss with Guinevère -- or give her, with some explanation. And he also had a surprise for Thomas, as it was not only Amaren who would be given a gift today.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère felt herself blush as Arthur told her--or well told their son that he thought she was beautiful. She hand lifted to cover her face for a moment before she looked back at them. "Teaching him how to flirt with the girls already?" She asked with a tease. While Guinevère didn't dis-believe him, she also thought he only saw her as thus because he loved her. Which was just fine with her, for she wanted him to find her pleasing.

So when he spoke of what time would be best to join them she became a bit distracted from his teasing. "We will be here all day, whenever you find yourself free, we will be here." She hoped it would not be too late, but knew whatever time he could spare she would gladly claim. Watching him help Amaren walk made her smile. While he could walk, he often had slightly unsteady steps, and Arthur's grip made him look as if she could run.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur gave a small chuckle at her tease, knowing that if he was being raised by himself, and being around men like Gwaine and even Elyan at times . . . then he would most certainly learn of how to charm women. "I plan to make him quite the charmer," Arthur said jokingly, though he knew they had plenty of time before they need even think about that. Hopefully, they had plenty of time. She assured him that they would be here all day, and made a mental note to return in the afternoon to borrow Thomas for a little while . . . and of course Guinevère and Amaren if she wished to come. After a few more steps, he scooped Amaren back in his arms and walked over to where Guinevère stood.

"I best get as much done as I can, so that I will be able to come sooner." He didn't want to think about tomorrow . . . only today, tonight. Where they could be a family and focus on the good, rather than the fear of having to leave them tomorrow. He knew it was inevitable, and it only made him dread it all the more. Kissing Amaren on the head, he passed him to Guinevère and once securely in her arms, Arthur leaned forward to kiss her lips. Soon, this would be the reality of their lives but unfortunately for now, it was just stolen moments.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère took their son when Arthur handed him over and smiled up at him. When he kissed her, her hand lifted to grasp the lapels of his shirt and hold him closer for a moment to let the kiss linger. She loved him so very, very much and feared what would happen if he feel during this war. "I love you," She whispered as the kiss broke. "We all do." A reminder that it was not just her that waited for his return--both tonight and from war.

He had Amaren his son, and Thomas who loved him as a father. His brothers in arms, his friends, his council, and his people. Every one of them loved their king. She was just the lucky one who got to love him in a special way, because she got to know him in a special way. "When you are free, and can join us we will begin." She promised, "Not before." Being she would wait for him and he would not miss anything tonight." Perhaps she would take a longer nap with the boys in order to give them more time tonight.

[Arthur Pendragon]

He softly smiled when she told him that she loved him . . . that the children did also. Though he knew it, hearing the words meant a great deal to him. And gave him the strength he needed to go back out there tomorrow. "I love you too. And I love our children." Two of blood, one of heart, but he loved them all the same. He had come to understand how he could not separate Thomas from Amaren. Though he was not Thomas' true father, he would be honored to gain that role in his life. "When I do come today, know that I leave all my work behind." That he came to her as a man, as a future husband, as a father . . . as everything, but a king.

For when he was with her, titles did not matter. They never should have mattered but their lives had taken their course because of ranks. No more. Never again. He kissed her lips once more before giving a final look to her and their son, quickly pulling his boots on and making sure he had everything. "I will see you both later," he assured them, having to practically force himself away from their presence as he took the servant's exit and returned to his chambers so he could freshen up and ready for the long day ahead of him.

[Guinevère]

"When I do come today, know that I leave all my work behind." his words--both of them--filled her heart with joy. The first of them speaking of their love and his love for their children. Her hand moved over her belly and she smiled brightly up at him. The simple joy of simple words...in these moments it was all she needed. His other words of coming to her as a man and not a king were also treasured. "And that is how you shall find us waiting." She told him, meaning as a family and not whatever title someone might give them. Servant. Lady. No titles belonged between them.

When he left she looked down at their son, and noticed he was staring off to where Arthur had left. "I know." She whispered, not missing that she had said these same words to him before. "I hate it when he leaves too." at least this time it was with better terms and more hope for how things could be between them. This time she knew that they could be together if he lived through the next few months or .....or years of war.

Guinevère prayed for the former rather then the later.

Talking Amaren she let him play before the fire while she sewed for a while. Thomas joined them and curled next to her while slowly waking up. Then they breakfasted and she let Thomas go meet his friends for a while, so that she and Rosa could finish some touches on the main room for the party.

Elyan and the knights stopped by, and Guinevère used her wrap to hide what she wondered if they already knew. Alex stopped by too, and then Gaius and Merlin. They brought little gifts, a toy ball, and other simple toys.

After lunch, Thomas came back and the three of them finished hanging some flowers--red ones--from things before Rosa bid her an early day and Thomas, Guinevère and Amaren curled into her bed for a afternoon nap.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur spent the day doing just about everything he could. Between meetings, he finished getting together Amaren and Thomas' presents. He then went to check on the wounded men who returned from war with him to see their progress and the extent of their injuries. Once Arthur had visited with each night, he spent the rest of the late morning in meetings, discussing the next few months and the fate of the kingdom. When the first series of meetings were over, Arthur told the men that he would be busy for some time, but in the courtyard should an urgent matter arise. With that, he hurried from the chambers and went to the stables, where the horse was ready to be presented: or well, where Thomas' gift was awaiting him. It was a small sized horse, but strong enough to carry a child.

Arthur wanted Thomas to grow with the animal, so that their bond would be strong at an early age, for it was important for a rider and their horse to develop a strong relationship of trust and loyalty.With the horse was a custom made saddle, fitted for Thomas' size though it would have to be adjusted as he grew older. And with that, a pair of riding gloves and leather vest. Everyone needed a good riding suit. Arthur inspected everything over and when he was satisfied with the result, told them to wait here, hidden, until Arthur told them to reveal themselves. With that, he rushed to Guinevère's quarters, a piece of fabric in his hands as he knocked on the door. He was not expected this early in the afternoon, but it was all part of the surprise he had arranged for Thomas.

[Guinevère]

Guinevère did not hear the knock, for she often slept deeper now that the children and the babe growing made her used more energy then every before. Amaren and his mother slept on, and gave no sign of waking. It was Thomas who was the light sleeper now, and he climbed from bed, wearing his clothes for the day but not his shoes. Walking to the door he stood there for a moment, debating before he opened it and looked out.

At the sight of the king his face relaxed and then cheered. The guards in the hall didn't let anyone get close, but after being taken by Odin, Thomas didn't like the door unlocked. "Arthur!" He cheered! then looked at his mother's door, and covered his mouth. When he spoke again it was quieter. "They are sleeping, but I don't need naps." He opened the door enough to let Arthur inside, then pushed it with both hands to close it. "Mama sleeps every afternoon, but she smiled more today. She is very happy today. It's Amaren's birthday!"

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur was about to knock again when the door opened and Thomas stood on the other side, seeming rather excited to see Arthur. And the feeling was mutual for Arthur smiled upon seeing Thomas. His excited voice was however muted as he explained that Guinevère and Amaren were sleeping . . . and he felt himself grow all the more glad hearing that Guinevère seemed happy today. That she was smiling a lot. And it made him not want to disturb her rest. "It may be Amaren's birthday today, but I came to see you. Because I have a surprise for you," he told him, purposely being ambiguous. "Go put your shoes on, and I'll leave a note for your mother so she doesn't worry." Meaning, he would not wake them up.

While Thomas hurried to his room, Arthur quietly walked to where Guinevère was sleeping, with Amaren next to her. He softly smiled at the side, and as gently as he could, tucked a strand of her loose curl behind her ear. Seeing a quill and paper at the desk, he hurriedly wrote a note. Dear Guinevère. I borrowed Thomas for a short while. If you are awake before the lunch hour then we will be in the courtyard. If not, then I will see you later this evening. Sincerely Yours, Arthur Pendragon. He placed the not next to Guinevère's head, so that it would be the first thing she saw when she woke . . . for he didn't want her to worry about Thomas suddenly being absent.

Hearing Thomas nearing the door, Arthur walked out with him by his side, slowly closing the door behind him and refusing to answer any questions that he had. When they got to the bottom of the stairs, Arthur smiled and held up the piece of fabric. "Close your eyes," he told him, but playfully not trusting him to not peek, Arthur used the fabric as a blindfold, covering Thomas' eyes with it. He stood behind the boy, each of his hands on either side of Thomas' shoulders as they slowly walked into the courtyard. He motioned for the stable boy to fetch the horse and within seconds, it was presented there before them. After a few seconds, Arthur untied the blindfold and pulled it from his eyes so that Thomas would now see his gift.

[Guinevère]

Thomas followed Arthur like he wanted, and when he blindfolded him the little boy laughed. "Where are we going?" Yet soon enough Thomas found out. He heard it at first, the sounds of the horses, and then when the fabric was removed from his eyes they went wide with excitement. "A horse?!" He asked jumping in place a few times. "Is it mine?"

"Thank you!" He turned to hug Arthur tightly around the waist before turning to run toward the horse. He slowed not far from it and walked closer slowly. "Does he have a name? Is it a boy? Is it really mine? Is Mama going to let me keep it? Can I feed him?" His hand reached out to slowly touch the noise of the horse. They both seemed to be testing the other one out, and Thomas looked so excited he might burst.

"Can I ride him?" He added the last question to his long line of excitedly asked ones.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur couldn't help but smile at the boy's genuine excitement over his gift. The series of questions commenced and Arthur just watched Thomas as he neared his soon to be companion. Arthur had wanted to get not just any horse for Thomas, but the most magnificent one he could find. One that was young and strong, yet not completely wild and impossible to tame. He took a few steps toward Thomas, staying close enough to him but also giving him enough space to grow familiar with his gift. "He doesn't have a name yet. I wanted you to choose one for him." He did have a name he was being referred to, but not one he was being trained with . . . so he would not yet respond to one until Thomas selected a name and then they could go from there.

"The bond between a rider and his horse is an extremely important one," he began to explain, his previous thoughts now coming to voice. "you two will be able to grow together," he continued, knowing that he had not answered Thomas' questions systematically, but also knew Thomas well enough to know that he did not often wait for an answer. When he asked if he could ride him, Arthur paused in thought -- though it was all in good fun.

"I don't think you can ride him yet," he said in a serious voice, motioning for one of the servants to come closer. "Not until you have the proper clothing." And with that, held up his new green riding vest, accompanied by riding boots and gloves. Starting with the vest though, Arthur helped Thomas put it on, checking the size -- which seemed to be a perfect fit. "Then you need your gloves and boots," he said, holding both pairs up and handing them to Thomas. "Now I think you're ready," he told him, waiting for Thomas to try everything on before he planned to help him onto the horse.

[Guinevère]

"I don't think you can ride him yet," Thomas' face fell slightly but he wasn't going to let it ruin his gift. "Not until you have the proper clothing." What?! He looked over at what was being brought over to him and he wanted to jump again! "Really?! Are their mine!?" Arthur helped him put on his hiding vest, and then sat down, right there in the dirt, to pull off his shoes and try to pull on the boots.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Once he had got them on--with a bit of help--he stood up and took a few steps. "THEY FIT!" He cried and then walked over for the gloves. When Arthur held them out, Thomas smiled at him. "This is the best day of my life!" He said as he took the gloves and pulled them on. Something a father was meant to do for a son, and while Elyan or Percival could have given the gift to Thomas, it was Arthur who had come to fill the role of father for him. "Maybe we can ride together?" Arthur on his horse, and Thomas on his.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur just watched Thomas, unable to take his eyes off of him. He certainly had his mother's enthusiasm and joy for things in life. While Lancelot of course had a deep appreciation for things, he wasn't as expressive in them . . . for his face did not brighten the way Thomas' did. It was evident that he got that from his mother, for Arthur had fallen in love with Guinevère's smile, and hadn't realized how much he truly missed seeing it in all those years . . . until their nights together had brought it to her lips. Arthur stepped closer to him when he was ready in all his riding gear. "Now that you look ready, and more like a rider than any other young man I have seen, let us test the fitting of the saddle." Everything seemed to fit perfectly thus far, so Arthur hoped it would continue. He helped Thomas mount onto his horse, lifting him up and making sure that his feet were properly and securely in the stirrups.

It was his question that caused Arthur to pause, and do something rather unplanned, but something he was willing to take a few moments to do. "Ready my horse, as quickly as possible please," he informed the stable boy who hurried to do so. He would not take Thomas far, perhaps just a walk around the courtyard. Standing extremely close to Thomas and the horse's side, Arthur wanted him to get a feel for his new friend. "Flick the reins a little and lightly dig your heels in the sides of the horse," he instructed, making sure he would stay close so that Thomas would not be led too far, and giving instruction so that the horse would move slowly and at a steady walking pace.

[Guinevère]

Thomas did as he was asked, and the horse moved forward slowly. He laughed deeply and held on while the horse kept going forward. He knew enough about how to turn a horse, but he also had never been on one alone. Someone normally held the reins or rode with him. No one was touching this horse and he was doing all by himself.

The stable boy brought Arthur's horse out shortly afterwards and walked him toward the king. Thomas laughed and pulled back the heirs, "Whoa!" He told the horse who stopped on command. "I did it!" He had did it so he could wait for Arthur to ride with him. He knew he needed a name but right now he could not think of a single one! "What is your horse's name?" He asked, never having heard someone say it.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur remained close, walking along with Thomas and his horse, only stopping when he heard his own horse enter the courtyard. He was about to tell Thomas to bring the horse to a halt, though the boy was way ahead of him. Arthur smiled proudly, giving a nod of approval and a clear tone of impressiveness in his voice. "Excellent job Thomas," he commended. "You'll be guiding your horse perfectly in no time," he assured him, and wished with all his heart that he could be here to watch -- and share -- that journey with Thomas. To make a habit of riding with him and watching him grow more and more experienced in horse riding. But he would miss these moments, and while the thought wasn't enough to fully dampen his mood, it was thoughts precisely like these ones that would make leaving tomorrow all the more difficult.

Arthur mounted his horse, moving close to stand next to Thomas's. "His name is Hengroen," Arthur answered. He had two horses that he had bonded with the most, and this was one of those two. "Shall we?" He asked, waiting for Thomas to lead the way so that he could practice navigating and steering his horse. Arthur was here to supervise of course, but he was also rather enjoying this time with Thomas, for it felt like it was rare for him to be able to do so, with the absence of all the complications that surrounded his mind every single time.

[Guinevère]

"I am ready!" He said when Arthur had mounted and told him to go forward. Thomas did as he was told and slowly moved the horse into a walk. He looked up at Arthur's taller horse, which helped the king be even taller over Thomas. "Will my horse get as big as yours?" He hoped so, he wanted to be taller then everyone!

As they rode along he kept looking around and it did not take long for some of the other boys his age to take notice and start watching. Thomas grinned even brighter then, for they did not have horses gifted from their fathers yet. No one could hear them from here, so he thought it safe to ask. "You are my god-father, so does that mean you do things fathers are supposed to do?" He asked, trying to lead into his question. Some of the knights were planning a small false contest that would help show and teach the younger boys what to expect not only in basic training but in competition. Only Thomas didn't have a father, he had Arthur was who like his father.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur kept his horse walking alongside Thomas', being sure to match the pace and not go too quickly or too slowly. He didn't want Thomas to stray from his side as he knew that his experiences on horses weren't exactly great. Though he was brave enough to get on one again, rather than let his fear consume him. "He will," Arthur assured him. "Your horse will grow with you so that when you're older and taller, it will be bigger." So that he could have this horse for life, hopefully. As they walked on Thomas' next question caused him to pause. God father. Arthur hoped to one day take the role of his father but also knew that he could not be so vocal about these intentions right now. The time would come where all this would need to be discussed, but not before the war was over. All he knew was that he could never take the role of his true father, for Lancelot was a man of honor and Arthur . . . . was anything but.

He certainly lacked honor after the way he'd treated Elena and Guinevère. But once again, he could not discuss the complexities of these things, so would answer in more simple terms. "Something like that," he told him with a reassuring smile. "I want to teach you all that I can, and be there as a father figure, though I could never take the place of your true father." And he wanted Thomas to know that he would never try. Only to be an additional role in Thomas' life. "Why do you ask?" Arthur inquired, looking at Thomas, as he wondered if there was a reason he was asking or if it was just general curiosity. Was he going to start questioning what he saw in the tent -- him and Guinevère kissing. Or was this just another series of Thomas' questions?

[Guinevère]

Thomas looked up at Arthur and then back down at what he was doing. He thought for a moment then looked at the boys who were watching him on his new horse. "Sir Arryn is planning a joust for all of us who will be knights one day. Since we cannot ride alone and hold the lances, the papas are riding with the sons." And Thomas wanted to ride in.

"I have been practicing! I can get it in the rings most the time!"When he wad running not riding at them. They were too young to joust each other so they would collect rings for the winner. Thomas wanted to win, but to ride in it, he needed someone with him. "If your back, can we enter?" He knew there was a war on, but for a child he didn't know what it meant. War was still an adventure to him, he didn't understand the lives lost daily. Yet at the same time, Thomas knew better then anyone what the death of one man could do to another.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur knew of the joust that Thomas spoke of, for Sir Arryn had requested permission from Arthur to go forth with such a thing. And Arthur had thought it a wonderful idea. Not one that he currently had a great deal of involvement in, but still . . . it was something filled with hope as everyone would look to the new generation of future knights. And hopefully by the time it took place, Camelot would not be so engaged with war. But of course the conclusion of this war could not be determined for it was far too unpredictable. Arthur continued to listen to Thomas, asking that if Arthur was back, if he could enter the competition with him. If. Thomas had said the operative word of 'If' Arthur was back. Perhaps he did not realize it . . . but that was the key word in all that he said. "I would be honored to enter the competition with you," he told him sincerely.

For this was something that father and sons did together, and the fact that Thomas regarded Arthur as a father figure to such an extent . . . did indeed fill Arthur with a greater joy and love. For Thomas had not asked Elyan, or Gwaine, or Percival, or Leon, or any of the other knights that he was close to: he had asked Arthur. "Be sure to get lots of practice while I'm gone," he told him, trying to keep that word of 'If' from dampening the mood. Though whenever he was with Thomas, or Guinevère or Amaren . . . it took a great deal to ruin the extreme happiness he found in their company. "And then we can practice together, for I may be a little out of practice by the time I return," Arthur said a bit jokingly. Without using the word, he knew he was making a promise to Thomas . . . and prayed with all his heart that nothing would happen to cause him break it.