Half Dead King (Uther,Arthur)

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther lay curled on his side in his chamber, finally alone after everything had been finished. The work had started quickly, the servants getting him out of his filthy clothes, bathed and into clean garments. Gaius had put one of his admittedly nasty-smelling concoctions on the king's many wounds and wrapped much of his torso in clean linen to hopefully minimize infection on his back. He had clean trousers and the bedcovers but still remained barechested except for the bandages. His wrists were bandaged as well, due to the chafing from the chains.

He had fully expected to die by Morgana's hand, but they had preferred to keep him alive as a pet, a plaything. Besides the beatings,the floggings and the burns, they had slammed him with magic, making his pain far worse than it would have been on its own. Several times he'd been doused with cold salt water. His only relief was that it had not gone beyond physical and psychological, to anything more invasive. He knew they'd most likely intended to have their fun and torture him until he died from it, simply so he'd suffer more.

He could not handle a lot of food yet, but ate slowly from a plate of light items-fruit and bread-and a bowl of soup, plus a goblet of wine. He had refused to eat while imprisoned, and was very weak from it, but he knew better than to eat too much too quickly. He had little appetite, however, he was too saddened to eat much, too distraught over what had happened.

Gaius had given him something for the pain and had left a sleeping draught but UTher did not want it yet, he did not think he could handle sleep just yet, much as he desperately needed it. He could see the horrors in his eyes every time he shut them, and he knew he would be trapped in the nightmares that plagued him if he took the draught now. Besides, he needed to convince his son to speak to him.

Arthur was angry, and he understood that-it would take a long time to regain trust and move past what had happened, the mistakes he'd made. He wished there was something he coud say, some words he could speak, to make it better, but forgiveness would not be that easy. Mending the distance would take months, perhaps, and Arthur would need time to calm down and think more rationally. Uther couldn't change the lies about Morgana, he could only figure out a way to move forward.

Uther himself was saddened over MOrgana's actions, and couldn't help feeling he had caused it. He put on a strong front when anyone was around, but when he was alone, he couldn't stop the tears that stung his eyes and the sobs that racked his form. Morgana was lost to him now, and he knew it. Even if she was found, though he could not bring himself to kill her, he would be forced to banish her. He hoped she would be redeemed one day, that she would see the truth, but until then, all was lost.

Uther thought much of the knights Arthur had made, and of the servant girl. He could not easily dismiss them, both becuase of their service to him, and because it would anger his son further. He struggled to reconcile those facts with the knight's code and his own sense of honor. He struggled to accept Arthur's feelings for the servant girl. He was not certain what he would eventually say or what he would do about them, not yet.

Uther had managed to escape alive, and he knew he was fortunate. But deep inside, he wondered just how alive he truly still was. He felt much as he had after the loss of Ygraine, that part of him was already dead. He had lost his wife and had lost his daughter not once but twice. Morgana still lived, but he had little hope of seeing her again, and her days as his ward were over.

And he could well still lose his son to him, if he could not repair the damage somehow. He had Arthur summoned to come to him as soon as possible,and now he waited, knowing it would likely not go well. He could only hope that there were not too many angry words explained, and that even if things were still tense, they could still remain civil with each other.

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur knew he could not avoid this father forever. He would eventually have to talk to him, about the very thing that was making him distance himself from the king. The anger, the hurt he felt over his father's lie, was unimaginable. He had never expected the king to keep such a grand truth from him . . . and it was too late to reconcile with what could have been a sister he had a strong relationship with. No. Instead he had to find out when he claimed the throne, and appointed herself Queen as a week of her tyranny plagued the kingdom. Things could have been very different, had everyone know of her true identity before that moment.

But as he knew, he could not avoid his father forever. It had already been a couple of days and now with the return of his knights and Guinevère, he could think of no more excuses to not see the king so when a messenger came to him to give word that he had been summoned, Arthur nodded and followed him. He stood outside of his father's chambers for a few moments, gathering himself, collecting his emotions. He did not know what to he would say to him, but he must have called him for a reason.

Taking a deep breath Arthur knocked on the door, before opening it and inviting himself in. His eyes scanned the room until they rested on his father. As upset as Arthur was, he hated seeing his father like this. He hated every moment of pain the king had endured. Arthur was not heartless; he still cared for him and he still felt a tremendous amount of sympathy, despite his state of emotional hurt. "Sire," he addressed formally as he took a few steps towards him, but maintained a distance. Seeing him, Arthur softened a little bit. His emotions were very conflicted right now and he still, even over a week later, was not over the shock of Morgana's actions. "How are you feeling?" He asked, more concern in his voice. He was not just asking the question as a generic one; he was asking because his father had suffered at the hand of Morgana; something that Arthur never thought possible.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther had drifted into a light doze, but Arthur's footsteps jerked him awake with a start. He winced, the sudden movement hurting his injuries. He moved his head slightly, glancing briefly at Arthur but not able yet to meet his son's gaze. He spoke slowly, his speech still distorted by his swollen, painful tongue. Even eating was still a painful ordeal, despite Gaius's medicines.

"I'll recover...will take time. I don't give up easily. I am relieved for you...feared for you. I am proud. You did well."

Uther had to chose his words carefully. He did not want to show weakness or vulnerability if he could avoid it. He had to be strong as much as possible, though the redness of his eyes probably belied some of his true condition. He felt badly for hurting Arthur and lying to him, he just wished Arthur could understand his position. He wasn't the only king to have an affair or an illegitimate child, but like any other ruler with a desire to protect his kingdom, he'd had to keep it quiet. Vivian had never told anyone, it had been Gorlois who was the first problem. Uther had grieved his death, but he'd had little choice but to have him killed when he began questioning Morgana's parentage.

"I have no words about Morgana...none to speak. I wanted to tell...had to protect my kingdom. We would have been shamed. I would have been humiliated. It was a difficult position. No easy answer. No matter what choice I made, it was a difficult one. I had to make the choice that was best for all of Camelot. I never wanted to cause you or Morgana pain. I also feared if she knew, she might act against you...just as she did. Might harm you. I wanted to protect you. I think now that perhaps I saw myself in her...and that made me fear her."

I can promise this: I was not unfaithful to Ygraine. She was everything. Nothing could make me betray her. I can only hope now that things will change...that Morgana will see...before it is too late. I do not want to believe she is beyond help...beyond hope. But she cannot return to what was. If she is found, she will be banished. Or I may confine her to the dungeons for the rest of her life. What was, is now gone. But I will not kill her...not my own daughter. That I know."

He had to rest, and so he lower his head back to the pillow. It wasn't that he was too weak, it was mainly that he had to rest his wounded tongue. There was a lot on his face and in his eyes that he could not, did not speak-pain,exhaustion,devastation...the effect of all that had happened was harsh, and it was obvious to see.

[Arthur Pendragon]

His father had not wasted any time. For once, Arthur did not feel that honor or sense of pride when his father spoke of how proud he was of him. Arthur had not yet forgiven him . . . he wished he could, but it was not that simple. He began to explain the difficulty in keeping this from him. The conflict that he felt in doing so. Arthur had still not absorbed everything that had happened enough to allow his father to justify his decisions. Arthur was still upset over it; hurt that his father had lied to him every single day, depriving him of that legitimate relationship. Of course, it would make her no more of a sister if he found out they were blood relatives -- as he always loved her as one. But Arthur felt that because of his lies . . . it had made her less of a sister. How different would things have been if the truth had been known since the beginning?

The subject of Ygraine was something that Arthur certainly did not want to discuss. This entire thing made him wonder if his father had lied to him about her too. Had Morgause truly been right? No. Surely not. His father had sworn to him that it was not true. Deep down, Arthur did not want to believe that his father would be able to lie to him like that. But he had lied to him about Morgana, and that feeling of betrayal was far too fresh to be rational enough to think of reason. Arthur could not tell his father that others began having their suspicions. He would not get Guinevère in any sort of trouble. He just wished that those he loved, those he cared about could be more honest with him. He wished it was not so easy for them to look him in the eyes and lie to him. Every day. Whether that be for months (in Guinevère's case) or years (in his father's case).

"You should have told me from the beginning." Arthur's told was strict. He was not yelling, but he was very stern; perhaps the most stern he had ever been with his father. And at the same time, taking one look at his father, seeing his physical and emotional state left Arthur conflicted. It was perhaps why he was not yelling. And why he had come to see him. No matter what, he was his father and Arthur would always love him. But it was undeniable that there was a strong distance beginning to grow between them . . . and Arthur wondered -- and worried about -- how much worse it would, or could get.

"I had a right to know. Morgana had a right to know. Your pride is not an excuse. You put it before everything else, before your own children." Arthur was speaking to him more boldly than he was used to. But he did not care. What would he do, throw him in the dungeon? The stocks? Arthur did not care. He had a feeling his father would not do it. He must have expected his son to be angry about this, and the Prince was not going to pretend that he wasn't. "I can not, will not kill her either," he admitted, in a lower voice, needing the king to know that. That he too lacked the strength to kill Morgana.

He managed to keep his voice steady though, despite the fact that he was even still at this moment, in shock over everything. He did not know if he could be hopeful. He was still in the shock of it all, and wondered if this feeling would ever leave him. But again. He did not want to talk about his feelings with his father. "You should thank those who remained loyal to Camelot. The men, the knights who rode with me to restore it." Arthur was not even asking his father to accept them as knights. He was telling his father what the proper thing to do was. What he should do. He was not going to take all the credit for this.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther had expected the tension that still existed. He had known for a long time that Arthur would not be pleased to find out that Morgana was his sister. That he would feel lied to and betrayed. Uther had dreaded Arthur finding out for that very reason. It was not unlike the fear he'd long held about Arthur discovering he was born of magic. It had been averted once, but Uther was afraid the next time wouldn't be so easily fixed. That made him uneasy when he saw the anger and distrust in Arthur's eyes when he spoke of her.

He was, in truth, struggling to comprehend Arthur's words and reasons, his mind still working its way through the numb shock he'd been in since they freed him. He was fighting to keep cognant and pay attention, and his mind kept wanting to retreat, to withdraw and shut the world out again. He focused on his son's words, knowing how true they were and yet how impossible. He'd been in a situation that had no easy way out. He could only hope his son would understand in time, after he'd had time to absorb all of the information and think through things.

"I did what I felt was necessary. Not because of my pride, for the good of the kingdom. I feared the mockery might lead to attacks. And, as I said, I feared this...feared Morgana becoming queen. Perhaps she is too like me. I did not want to hurt you. Either of you. Perhaps it should have been different. But I thought it was the only way. I cannot change it now...can only deal with the consequences." he said. Uther was not a man to admit being wrong, and that was well known by now.

And Uther was also pleaed at Arthur's agreement about not killing Morgana. He would never have been able to shed her blood or see Arthur shed it. It saddened him to know that things were forever changed, but at least she would have her life.

"Their service is appreciated. They knew they risked death, but they fought. They should be rewarded, at least."The king was at least willing to admit that much, if not to say he accepted them as knights yet.

[Arthur Pendragon]

The consequences were great. Far too grand for Arthur to move so easily to forgiveness. He just looked at his father . . . wondering how he managed to keep the truth about her birth a secret for so long. How could he look at her every day, and call her a ward when she was more than that to him. How. How could he deny his child the rights she was entitled to. How could a daughter display such cruelty to her father. What kind of family did Arthur have. He couldn't help but think of his mother; how different things would be had she still been alive.

"The mockery could have been overcome. What neither of us will ever be able to get past is Morgana's betrayal." Arthur could refer to both of them in his sense, for he knew that neither of them would be able to move past what she had done. Even if his father had lied to both of them, that did not justify her actions. Upon discovering the truth about her father, instead of embracing it . . . she used it as greater motive to challenge the king and try to kill him. "You're right though. No one can change the past. I just wish it had not taken you nearly two decades to realize that what you had done, was not right." He paused for a moment, debating on whether to ask him the next question. He decided he had to . . . whether it would only anger him further or not, he had to at least ask.

"Would you have ever told me the truth?" Had Morgana not revealed it to everyone . . . would his father had ever told him himself? Arthur doubted it, but he needed to hear what he hoped would be the truth, from the king. How long would Morgana had kept it to herself? Who else knew of such a truth? Arthur could not help but wonder . . . just how long this lie would have gone on for.

At least the subject of the knights was something they could both agree on. "Yes," he said in full agreement about their reward. "They will remain loyal knights in Camelot's army." Again, he spoke with confidence and a certain finality in his tone. He found himself challenging his father more than he had ever done in the past. Arthur would not let the rules of knighthood, of him having to be of nobility, stand in the way. The rule had been put in place so that their loyalty was not compromised or questioned . . . each man had gone beyond to prove their loyalty and Arthur was not going to strip them of their newly attained, and earned titles.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther knew that Arthur's words were true, even if he would never admit it. He really did not know how the stigma and shame would have been overcome, though, and he was too stubborn to admit he might have been wrong on that aspect. He still felt he had been doing what was necessary for the sake of the kingdom, but he chose not to argue it, since Arthur was not pushing him about it.

"Yes, that is the question...I don't understand. I will not get past it. All that can be hoped for is that she is not lost forever. I have given her so much. She returns it this way. It pains me."

Uther honestly had intended the secret to die with him. He had made Gaius promise the same thing. It would have been so if Morgana had not heard him. He could not bring himself to answer in words, but his answer was clear in his eyes, which did not meet his son's gaze.

He did not choose to argue now about the knights. It was not unheard of for bravery to be rewarded in such a way, but it was quite rare. More importantly, he did not want to have Arthur estranged from him completely. Right now, too much arguing ran that risk. He was too stubborn to simply accept them, but he felt he could pacify Arthur for now, until he was stronger and thinking more clearly again.

" I do not wish to argue at the moment. I will just say that any shame or trouble they bring is of your fault. I hope your instincts prove true. Camelot does not need more shame."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur wished he could share that optimism . . . or maybe it was just a desperate hope that neither of them knew would come true. Her deception had been so great, and neither he nor his father had seen it coming. There were few who had their suspicions . . . but two people who knew her so well had been so blinded. Arthur was about to comment on it, though he was not even sure what he was going to say, until he paused to hear what else his father had to speak. And his words, were displeasing to Arthur.

Arthur had to agree with him on one thing, and that was that he did not wish to argue with his father. But at the same time . . . his words began to raise anger in the prince. He did feel horrible for what his father had to endure, but Morgana had not been the only one to deceive him, and perhaps Arthur's anger from the bitter resentment due to his father's lies is what enraged him when hearing Uther speak about shame, and how it would be his fault. Arthur just stood there, his expression more serious than before -- if that was even possible -- and used every ounce of strength within him to control his anger and remain composed. This experience had taught his father nothing . . . for he was still the same person he had been before.

"Do not lecture me about shame." Arthur practically spoke through gritted teeth, the anger threatening to seep through. How could he even suggest that . . . how could he prioritize Camelot's reputation right now. It made Arthur confirm the question of whether his father would not accept Guinevère. He would not. And the Prince doubted that he ever would. "The men will only bring strength and honor to Camelot." He had to defend them; those he had knighted and those who remained loyal; his brothers. He would not stand here and listen to them get insulted . . . even if it was by the king.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther did realize he was in little position to talk about shame. He could see Arthur was getting angry about it, and wondered if they would ever come to agreement on these kinds of things. Uther was a man bound by tradition, unable to deal with the changes being foisted on him. It was the same sort of battle that had likely been fought since the beginning of time and would be fought long after they were mere legends and stories.

He sighed, hoping he could quiet Arthur's anger, at least for the time being.

"I know I may find myself labled a hypocrite if I am not cautious. I can only say that I am sorry things could not have been differently...and as you said, we must focus on the future." he replied.

"That is why I choose not to argue your decision, for the time being. I may not agree with it fully, but I do not want to simply cast it aside. I could, with a few words, as you know, but I would prefer not to drive you away irreperably. So, I shall be keeping an eye on them, but I will not order their titles stripped. It is difficult to change one's tradtions, one's ideals...what has been said time and time again since I was a boy...what was law in the kingdom of my father and my father's father, even though they did not rule Camelot. I do not know if I can ever alter my own thinking, even though I know that you likely will change some of my laws after I am gone."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur had been fully aware that his father would strongly disapprove with what he had done, and he had even expressed this certainty right before knighting the men. At the same time, he knew that Camelot would still be under Morgana's rule had it not been for them. Arthur would have most likely been dead. He did not want to particularly argue with his father, but then again, how could he avoid such a thing? They had such drastically opposing views, and Arthur knew he was being more bold, more challenging to his father's authority. He understood that one made mistakes, but this mistake was just far too grand for things to ever be the way they once were between him and his father . . . that did not mean that Arthur wouldn't be optimistic that there was a chance, however faint, that they could truly and fully move past this.

"You should not solely allow them to keep their knighthood for my sake," he began. Though of course Arthur would not have let his father strip them of their titles either. "They should keep it because they earned it. Because they saved Camelot. Because you would be dead if it weren't for them." Arthur knew that his statement was a rather blunt one, but it was true. There was no way that the Prince could have done all that he did without them. He had returned to Camelot only to save his father, not to restore the kingdom . . . but things had worked out for the best, and he had his brothers to thank for that. "Traditional or not, how can you be so against my decision when they proved their loyalty and honor; when they saved your very life." It was a bit of a rhetorical question as he was not sure his father would answer, but still, Arthur would wait and hear.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther had expected that he was not going to dissuade Arthur from arguing extremely easily. Just knowing he wouldn't fight the appointment wasn't quite enough; he wanted complete agreement it seemed, wanted Uther to see his way of thinking. The king wasn't sure if that would ever be possible. It was a case of the new coming into conflict with the old, no different really than so many modern era generational clashes.

"It is just my way, I suppose...originally, it was a way many kings found of attempting to prevent problems...obviously, nobles are not immune to them, but most of them are aware of the need to conduct themselves according to their status. Commoners often aren't as careful with their bearing. I do understand the fact that they served Camelot well, however. That is another reason I've chosen not to battle you for knighting them, although I do not know if I can condone it on a regular basis. I am still uncertain as to what sort of impreession other rulers may get of our kingdom." he said.

"I wish to bring up something else while we are speakin. Am I correct that you will see fit to act as regent and tend to the affairs of the kingdom yourself for a time? I do not wish to step down if I can avoid it...I am weakened, but I will recover. I am not dead yet. I want what is best for Camelot, but I do not want to die weak and without a purpose. I do trust you while I recover...I only hope that I am able to eventually return to my duties, when I am stronger."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Ah yes. The reputation. Arthur loved Camelot, he had a great deal of pride in it . . . but if he had to pick between keeping the men he had knighted and tarnishing the reputation of the kingdom, or releasing them of their titles . . . he would pick the first. For Camelot was a noble kingdom, one built on trust. Well, that was what they needed to restore it to anyway. After Morgana's wrath it would take time to rebuild that reputation, and so Arthur certainly didn't think a few commoners becoming knights would cause further damage. But this would probably be something him and his father would never see eye to eye on. And contrary to popular belief, Arthur did not actually like arguing with his father. "Right now there are more important things to rebuild in the kingdom, apart from its reputation among other royals."

The people had lived in over a week of terror and cruelty . . . homes were destroyed, several were wounded . . . Arthur focused on that, rather than what other kingdoms thought of them. While he too had a great amount of pride, even he now more than ever recognized the far more pressing matters. Which was why his father's next words surprised him and yet did not at the same time. The question of who would be king, acting or not, was one that he thought he thought he would have to argue for in his favor. But it seemed the king was granting him the title of acting king already. "I understand," he said, demonstrating his agreement. "I will assume all responsibilities and be acting king." It was not as difficult for him to accept it this time. Last time he took the role was when his father's mental health was in question, and Arthur had been at his bed side in tears. But this time, he would have suggested it had his father not brought it up first. This time, he had more confidence in his ability to be king.

"You need as much rest as you can get." Despite everything, obviously he still loved his father so these last words were said with more concern. His father was resilient, he knew he would recover . . . but it would take time. "I will do everything within my power to restore the kingdom, and regain its strength after . . . what happened." After Morgana's rule; words that were still difficult to say. "I need you to trust me, and support my decisions and judgment." He did not want to butt heads, and he needed his father to believe in his capabilities . . . for it would make things much easier, for the both of them, and for Camelot.

[kinguthersqueen]

"Yes"Uther agreed."There is the intangible most importantly...I fear there will need to be a rebuilding of trust. And the physical of course, the castle."It was the trust and understanding that was obviously most important, though. Morgana had betrayed them all, and he had, sadly, injured his relationship with Arthur. He could not change that, but he still longed for he and his son to eventually come to an understanding.

"I know you will not disappoint me. That you will do well, as you did before. Hopefully, my recovery will be a fast one. I will join you as soon as I can...when I am strong again. I hope I do not remain bedridden long...I fear it will weaken me even more. I will see...I want to trust you. Things will not be easy. I promise nothing, except to give these things thought. I desire for us to at least come to an understanding, if nothing else."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Perhaps it was his bitterness causing such emotions, but Arthur felt a bit agitated that his father could not so easily admit to trusting his judgment . . . when he had been the one lying -- about Morgana -- all along. What had Arthur ever done to not make him trust him? This time, he would not be able to blame an enchantment for making him knight those men, or an enchantment in case he saw his son kiss a servant in the court yard. So why did his father have so much doubt in him? Arthur just kept a composed, almost professional expression in his face. "Rebuilding the trust is not something to be feared; it should be expected considering the the circumstances that had caused such mistrust." Once again, Arthur was being very blunt and direct with his father. He could just not so easily justify his decision to keep Morgana's identity hidden from both him and Morgana. In Arthur's mind, it was unacceptable.

"Then understand father, that the men I have knighted will remain knighted. That I did not await for you approval to do so and still do not await it to determine whether they have permission to stay in their current position. I do not wish to cause you further stress, but if I am to be acting king for the time being, then I have to do what I feel is best for the kingdom. With or without your approval." It was true, Arthur did not want to cause his father further stress in any way. Uther had been through a great deal as it was, having been tortured by his own daughter. At the same time, they were now talking about the well being of the entire kingdom and with Arthur's greater confidence in being king, he felt it was easier to make grand decisions without thinking of whether his father would condone it or not.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther knew that Arthur was right about rebuilding the trust. Things probably would have been better had he been less stubborn and more able to admit to a wrong, but his pride would not let him. He knew, however, what Arthur was saying, and he could only nod.

"I can only say that I felt I was right at the time...but perhaps it would have been better had I at least told you. You would have been sworn to secrecy to prevent the people finding out, but at least you would have known. But I still do not know that I could have told her."

He would not have told Morgana, however, because he feared her so greatly. Arthur would never see it that way, though. He couldn't understand that he was only trying to do what was best for the kingdom, and that pained Uther.

Arthur began to speak about the knights again. "I am in little position to argue with you right now. I will not say that I can accept, but I know that right now, there is nothing to gain in arguing with you. They will stay for now, that is obvious."

[Arthur Pendragon]

The fact that his father was admitting his wrongs, admitting that he had made a massive mistake, admitting regret . . . at least it was still something. While he justify his actions, he also saw the consequences of them. Arthur did not wish to keep arguing with the king on such matters, though it was difficult to refrain with all the anger that had built up inside of Arthur upon finding out that Morgana was his sister . . . and he had found out in the worst way possible. Everyone had! It only made him wonder how she had managed to find out, for he was fairly certain that his father had not willingly told her. "Father," he began, using a more personal title rather than one of detachment. "Is there anything else you are keeping from me." He had to ask. It was crucial for him to know. He did not want to discover any more surprises from anyone. "For if there is, now would be the time to make it known to me." Arthur could not handle another lie; another deep dark secret that his father kept hidden from the world, kept hidden from him.

At least he had somewhat accepted the knights; that Arthur would not have to keep arguing with him on that. So with that topic out of focus for the time being, Arthur could fully invest their conversation in the question he had just asked his father. Arthur waited, almost nervously, afraid to find out that the answer was yes. For he felt that another secret of such magnitude, would forever break his relationship with his father.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther obviously did have another secret, but he would never reveal that one willingly. He still vividly recalled Morgause's use of magic to turn Arthur against him. She had revealed the secret of Arthur's birth, and the prince had nearly killed him before Merlin had talked him out of it. He had no choice but to take that secret to his grave, or Arthur would send him there himself. He would not be able to defend his seeming hypocracy, or to get Arthur to understand that it was his birth that had made him see the evil of magic. However, that would make it appear as though he wished Arthur had never been born, which was not so. It would be a situation he would never be able to explain satisfactorily, and one he would have to see die with him-and Gaius. He wished Morgause were dead as well, but he did not know for sure as yet.

"No,there are not."he replied firmly."That is a good thing, because it would, indeed, bring our relationship to ruin."

[Arthur Pendragon]

While his father's words had vocalized Arthur's thoughts and fears, he still did not want there to be any more lies. Had his father told him about Morgana, then perhaps his reaction would have been different. No. It most certainly would have been different. There still would have been anger involved on his part, but at the same time, it would have been better to hear it from his father than the alternative of how he actually found out. Stating that she was a Pendragon and therefore had claim to the throne. That proclamation and her betrayal had been the most disturbing thing Arthur had ever witnessed. He never wished to find out something like that again. And if ever there was a time to come clean about it, now would be it.

"I can not lie and say that another revelation such as that one will not have a negative effect on us," Arthur began, trying to pick his words carefully. "At the same time, I would prefer to find the truth out from you, rather than anyone else." While his father assured him that there was nothing else, Arthur was just making sure. This way, they could talk through it; work through it. For if he found out anything in the future, something as serious as this . . . he was not sure how he would react, nor did he ever want to find out. "I would prefer honesty, rather than lies," he added, just so his father knew that he preferred the brutal truth, rather than a lie only to please him.

[kinguthersqueen]

Uther knew full well what would happen, and that was why his final secret had to remain a secret. Uther Pendragon was not a man who feared anything, except possibly yet another run in with Nimueh. But he'd been afraid for his life when Arthur had him on the floor at sword point, ready to run him through. He trusted Gaius not to speak of it, but he still, even now, worried about Morgause and Morgana. No doubt one sister would tell the other what she knew, and they would both attempt to use it against Arthur. And Morgana would need little provocation to strike a fatal blow to Uther. She would love to see Arthur be the one to do it, would gloat over it for the rest of her life.

"That is why I do not want anymore secrets"he lied."It is obvious that they only make things far worse when finally revealed. I do not want to die hated by both of my children."

"Speaking of such things, I know that Morgause and Morgana will now both try to alienate us all the more, to turn you against me. I hope you will not listen to whatever lies they spin. Both of them twist the truth and use it to poison minds. But it is what I say that is the truth, at least in the future, though it has not always been in the past."

[Arthur Pendragon]

Arthur wanted the same, but he had not thought something this large could have been kept from him. Upon his words of hatred, Arthur paused in a pensive silence. He could never truly hate his father. There were times when the emotion had come over him, such as when he had believed those words spoken by an illusion of his mother, or when he almost burned Guinevère at the stake, and of course when he found out the truth of Morgana. But at the end of the day, he loved his father, despite everything. How could he not? Even after the image of his mother had proven false, he apologized to his father. After he nearly killed Guinevère, Arthur let him beat him in the tournament. After the revelation that Morgana was the traitor as well as his half sister, Arthur still entered Camelot to save the king.

So no, Arthur could never fully despise his father and he knew that, despite all the anger he had towards him right now, he had to at least tell him that. "I do not hate you," he said, his words still holding that serious, yet sincere, tone. It was clear that Morgana detested Uther, considering all she had done against him, but Arthur could not. That did not mean he was simply going to forget the recent past and pretend like everything was fine between them. It was far from fine. And thinking on such terms, Arthur unnerved hearing him speak of Morgause and Morgana, and how they could possibly -- and probably -- strike again. While Arthur had witnessed their partnership, it was still so odd to hear two names spoken together. A woman, a sister that he had loved for as long as he had known her, and a sorceress, an enemy who he had despised above any other.

"Do not tell me what to believe," he said, his voice becoming short again. He knew that both Morgana and Morgause would attempt to manipulate him, just as both of them had done so in the past. But Arthur did not want to hear from anyone what he should or should not believe. "That is for myself to determine, and I do not need your help in doing so." A couple of years ago, such words could have been taken as a rebellious phrase of defiance, but he had surprisingly matured over the years. So his words were spoken with strong confidence, and certainty . . . for he was sick of being lied to. "It is what you say that is the truth?" He asked, allowing this words to register as he withheld the strong annoyance he felt upon hearing them. "I can not believe that either," he added sternly. Not after how he had lied to him. As they both recognized before . . . rebuilding that trust would take time. Even if his father said the lies were in the past, only time would tell if this remained consistent for the future.