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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2011 15:19:23 GMT -5
“Darn it!”
Freya lifted her finger to her mouth, staring at the needle in her free hand with distate. She carefully extracted her finger from her lips, seeing that the blood that had resulted from the prick was gone. Mumbling something about ‘stupid needlework’ she set down the needle beside the shirt she had been mending. She stared down at the offending fabric.
“Beséowe.”
The needle lifted itself before going to work at patching up the tear in the fabric.
Smiling at her ‘house work’, Freya stood from the meager wooden table to survey the rest of the room. Everything that needed to be tidied had already been done that morning. The small size of the building helped, in that it caused for little housework. It had been abandoned when the pair had first spotted it but, with a bit of work (and magic) they had repaired it. It was somewhat bare inside at the moment but, after time, she could picture it as a quaint, cozy place. A place to raise a family, perhaps.
Maybe she was reading too far into things- or hoping far too hard- but she had faith that she and Merlin would have a future together. With her curse lifted and he no longer carrying the duty of the prince upon him, they had the chance to finally be themselves. And why not be themselves…together?
Still, it was something she wasn’t sure if she was prepared to discuss. She didn’t want to be the first one to bring it up and, she gathered, he didn’t either. For the time she was content with being stuck between friends and something more.
The young woman stepped from the confines of the house, glancing at the small garden that was growing close to the door. Her eyes drifted out toward the lake, resting down the slope not too far from the cottage.
It wasn’t much, but it was all she ever wanted.
Beséowe- to sew
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Post by em on Dec 12, 2011 15:48:19 GMT -5
It felt strange not having to rise at a specific time every morning to wait on a Prince had and foot. In some ways Merlin missed it, and yet there were other times when he didn't. He'd managed to get Freya and himself out of Camelot (after tending to her wound of course) and run. He didn't care what anyone thought or said, and he hadn't spoken to anyone of what he was going to do. Gauis would have only gone against the whole thing and Arthur? Well he was a prat anyway so his opinion didn't count.
Merlin found it hard at first, to settle into a new life with someone and adjust to it, but now he had a new role as a farmer and was bringing in money for him and Freya to both live comfortably, that was all that mattered. He'd spent most of his days on the fields and tending to the animals,(They were near a lake which was even better). It was what he'd grown up around and therefore the best choice of job. He'd also sell herbs as well as food at the market on other days. He knew whch were the best to find as he'd gained some knowledge from Gauis, and people paid extra for things like that. He didn't want to be struggling like he was before he'd left Ealdor for Camelot.
Freya was coming out of the door and into the small garden as he arrived back home. 'Their' home. Now that no longer felt strange. In fact it brought a smile to his face. Something to call his own. It was small but enough. Merlin knew that Freya wanted more from this life than just the two of them. A family. He could see it in his eyes and hadn't brought up the subject incase he thought they were rushing into things. They'd only been in their home for a few months now, and already he knew they were closer than before. She brought out a different side of him, a far more confident one. He could be himself and didn't feel the need to keep secrets from her. The thought of a family was a nice one, but at the same time it made him wonder whether he could provide enough for them.
"Are you alright?" he asked as he stopped in front of her, giving her a small kiss on the cheek, whilst trying to balance the wood he'd brought home for the fire under the other arm.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2011 16:08:38 GMT -5
Freya found herself in this new life doing many of the tasks that she had done while living with the Druids. Then she had helped craft items to be sent to market and sorted through food, much as she was doing now. It was comforting to do such things that she had knowledge of. It was at least one familiar thing in a totally new world. She had grown comfortable with the way things were, this halfway point for the two of them. She lived as a wife, but not in every sense. She still slept alone at night and only shared kisses with him. And, for the moment, that was alright.
It wasn’t as if she didn’t know what babies entailed. She wasn’t daft! But they just hadn’t done….that yet.
She jumped, having been caught in her thoughts. Smiling she felt the warmth of his lips linger upon her cheek.
“Just thinking,” she said, stepping aside to allow him in. She reached for a few logs to lighten his load.
Now and then she would become guilty at having let him leave his former life. But she hadn’t exactly dragged him, had she? He seemed happy, and so was she. This set-up was the best for them, or at least she thought.
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Post by em on Dec 12, 2011 17:10:56 GMT -5
He smiled as she took some logs from him. She had become comfortable now and would often help him out with things to be sent to the market. Merlin helped her inside with the rest, "What about?" he asked curiously. He wondered what she could be thinking of that had given her the expression that was on her face. He hoped she wasn't regretting their hasty decision to up and leave. He had suggested it, she had merely gone along with the plan. What if this wasn't what she wanted.
Merlin set the logs down by the fire and shrugged off his jacket, giving Freya a curious look as he did so. "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked again and looked to the fire that wasn't even lit yet. "Bryne" he muttered, sending the flames begin to rise in the hearth. It was so easy to do things like this now without having to risk being caught.
Grabbing a chair he sat at the table and folded his arms, leaning forward over the top of it slightly and waiting for Freya to actually tell him what was going on. Merlin knew her enough to know that whatever she was thinking, it was making her unhappy in some way. That was something that she didn't want.
Bryne - A flame
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2011 17:21:46 GMT -5
Freya wordlessly followed him inside of the house, nudging the door closed with her foot. She placed the logs down next to the unlit fireplace before taking his jacket from him. Carefully she set it on a hook by the door, smoothing out a crease with her fingers to buy herself time. He wanted to know what she was thinking? Oh, he couldn’t!
It was much too embarrassing. He could shoot her idea down with a laugh which would break her heart into two. Or maybe, even worse, he simply didn’t desire her enough to beget a child. Kisses and embraces were one thing, but coupling was an entirely different one. Maybe it was better to forget the entire idea. It might be too much too soon for him, anyway. Did he even want children? She had never thought to ask.
But he asked her again what was wrong.
Taking the chair opposite him she glanced down at the mended shirt, the needle now laying dormant against the cloth.
“Just….about the future,” she said, leaving it at that. Vague, but the truth.
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Post by em on Dec 12, 2011 17:30:33 GMT -5
The future? This was worrying him now - she didn't want to stay? Perhaps she was going to leave now while she had the chance. Merlin didn't want that - in fact that was the last thing that he wanted.
Wait...
Future? By the sounds of it, it involved him. "What about it?" he frowned slighty, wondering what on earth could possi...ok...Now one thought had crossed his mind that could only be the possible solution in his mind. Family, just like he knew she wanted.
Whatever it was, that seemed to be the only thing. Even if he wasn't sure about it himself. He was now busy taking the needle from where it rested on a newly mended shirt, and turning it over and over in his hands. "Does...er.." he began, "Does it involve me?" He wanted to be sure before he jumped to conclusions.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2011 17:40:03 GMT -5
It hadn’t crossed her mind to think of leaving. If anything, she was worried that he would want to leave. Even though he had been worked tirelessly at Camelot he had still been a apart of the court. How exciting that must have been! And now all he could come home to was her and a couple of cows. She couldn’t imagine that this was his ideal life.
She almost wanted to laugh. Involving him. “Of course!” she said, surprised that he hadn’t included himself in her suggestion. She reached out a hand to his hand, the one not toying with the needle. “Of course it involves you.” She smiled, her fingers lacing into his. “You don’t know how happy I am here, with you.”
She hesitated, thinking. “Do you think it could ever be more, though? Not land or money wise, I don’t care about that. Just us and….”
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Post by em on Dec 13, 2011 14:22:23 GMT -5
Ok, so it did involve him - that was good wasn't it? Her next words confused him slightly. They had everything didnt they? Just them and a couple of cows and a lake? He frowned slightly. "And what?" he asked before it actually all pieced together in his mind.
Oh...
He made a small 'o' with his mouth. "I seeeee". She wanted more than just the two of them? Was that it? Merlin wasn't really sure how he felt about the subject. "I haven't really thought about it..." he said, "Well I have, but not in detail.." he realised that sunded wrong, "not to say that I didn't want to think of it, because I did it's just...well it's just that..." A child? was that it? He was sure that it was. He did want children yes, but wasn't it a little early? Then again she had said the future, but how far off was that in her mind?
"I er...I guess that one day, perhaps..." he shrugged slightly, "I mean it would be nice..." and destructive. Of course any children they had (if any and if it was indeed the right track that he was on) would be born with magic. Merlin's powers had started to show when he was just a year old and objects began to move by themselves. There was no doubting that if they were to have children that the same were to happen. He looked down at the table top, a little embarassed by the conversation they were now having.
"How long have you been thinking about this?" he asked.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2011 17:02:28 GMT -5
If possible, Freya felt her face darken even more as realization struck him. How foolish she had been! She should never have even brought it up. He’d probably be disgusted and disappointed with her now. “Just forget-” But he was speaking, halting her own jumbled apology. Carefully, hesitantly, she raised her gaze from the table top to him. He was trying to reason with it, she guessed, as he began to speak. For the first time since he stepped into the room she felt a bit of hope forming. Maybe, just maybe….
“It wouldn’t be right away,” she interjected, unable to keep her excitement from her tone. “Just….a thought.” Maybe in a few months? Oh! To hold a child in her arms. Their child. His child. Maybe they saw children in a different light, and that was why he was hesitant. She saw a child as something that she had nearly been denied. If Merlin hadn’t healed her after the prince had nearly killed her…. She wouldn’t be alive, let alone be able to have a baby. But she was alive and well, and more than capable (she thought) to carry a child. This new life with him seemed something like a dream….what would complete it? A bit of her, and a bit of him.
She knew that it would be dangerous. She had only done a little medical work with the Druids before being banished, which wouldn’t amount to much if something happened to injure her baby. And it would be magical- it had to be, considering its parents. How would she cope with that?
But it wouldn’t matter. It would be theirs.
“Not for too long,” she said, eyes flitting back to the table top. It was safer to stare at the wood than at him.
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Post by em on Dec 13, 2011 17:20:49 GMT -5
She was now reasoning, saying that it wouldn't be straight away and that it was just a thought. Merlin really didn't know how he fully felt about the whole thing. He'd always pictured himself serving Arthur until the day he died, and then when he left Camelot - staying with Freya until the day he died. Children had never really crossed his mind or entered any images in his head, but now he thought about it a little more, not only did it seem a little different, but also it scared him. Could he actually raise a child? He never knew his father so he'd always said that he would never be like him.
"Erm..." he began, stumbling a little over his words. How on earth was he supposed to carry a conversation on such a heavy and yet delicate subject. He couldn't deny Freya of something that she'd almost been robbed of, yet at the same time - it could be dangerous. "Right..." He ran a hand through his hair and sat back on the chair, folding his arms and looking at Freya (who right now looked just as awkward talking about it all as he did).
"I suppose that...well..." he truly was stumped by where this had all come from. "It's just...I never thought that i'd be a father, let alone want to be one. It was always about how my destiny was to reunite Albion with Arthur and let magic return..." blah, blah, blah. His gaze then directed itself back to the table top. "I know it's something that you seem to have your heart set on, and i'm not going to say no..." he paused, "but we need to think this through - about whether it's for the best, how we'll get by and if it's both what we really want."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2011 17:33:30 GMT -5
This was becoming painfully awkward. She inwardly kicked herself and forced herself to look at him. After all, if she wanted a child, she would have to do much more than look at him. It was her fault that the topic came up; she couldn’t shrink off and let him flounder with the idea. But then he was talking about considering it, causing a relieved giggle to burst up from her throat unexpectedly. So he hadn’t been talking about being unwilling….being with her. It was just his concerns with raising a child.
“I, er, I thought,” she said, still riding the relief that his confession had made. “I thought you were hesitant because you didn’t-” She blushed. “ Didn't wish to do what is needed to make a child with me.”
Did he think of her that way?
Freya sobered as he spoke of his old life. “I feel terribly guilty, when my mind crosses upon what you left. That I was the cause of it.” She reached for his hand’s across the table. “I’m sorry that you gave that up. I truly am.” Not sorry that he was with her, but sorry that he wasn’t doing what had been intended.
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Post by em on Dec 13, 2011 17:53:43 GMT -5
He blushed as she spoke about certain requirements that was expected when....well yeah anyway, he smiled akwardly and looked at her. "Why would you ever think that?" he asked, "I thought it was because that you didn't feel the same way as I do." Well - this was all going swimmingly wasn't it?
Merlin rose from the chair quickly and walked over to her when she apologised from taking him away from Camelot. "Don't ever say that" he shook his head, "We wanted this, you and me - and had I had to choose again then it would always be you." a small grin formed on his lips, "besides, spending the rest of my life with Arthur didn't sound half as appealing as it did with you." His hand reached up to cup her cheek. "I told you that you didn't know how special you are - why can't you see that?" he murmered and looked into her eyes. "Freya..." he started and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips, "If this is what you want...then who am I to say no?"
He pulled away, "Don't ever feel guilty - because I don't regret leaving Camelot, and you shouldn't either. I could have lost far more if i'd have stayed behind and let you go"
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2011 18:02:11 GMT -5
She was feeling such relief that she could laugh again. But, not wanting to seem like a deranged fool, she settled for a smile. He thought the same as her! “How could you think that?” she teased, as he voiced his concern over her feelings for him. “What I feel for you…I’ve never felt for anyone else.”
Freya leaned into his hand, closing her eyes as she listened to him. She knew that, with her, he was being denied his rightful destiny. But they were so happy…wasn’t that right? She opened her eyes, looking into his. She laughed nervously as he spoke of her. “I recall you saying that before but still I do not know what you are talking about.” She was just Freya. A Druid girl masquerading as a wife.
His lips on hers’ warmed her straight to her toes. She smiled, embracing him after he had told her that he couldn’t deny her this.
“Thank you,” she whispered, holding him closely.
“And not just for the child but for…everything.”
For just dropping everything and leaving with her.
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Post by em on Dec 14, 2011 15:54:05 GMT -5
He held her close to him, her thanking him for everything as he did so. In all fairness, he didn't need to be thanked for any of this - he'd merely offered her a chance to have a new life away from Camelot and the threat of being found out. He would have just been miserable of he stayed, and when he was miserable then Arthur would pick up on it and make his life hell for a few days until he actually cheered up.
"I just want you to be happy" he smiled and looked at her, "Here with me...and i've always said that you could have anything you ever wanted"
He paused and diverted his gaze to the floor, "I just...well I just hope that you have."
Merlin knew that in Freya's mind, a child would complete that. He needed to make a mental note to visit the dragon at some point and ask for parenting advise. No doubt it was still annoyed at not being set free and for Merlin turning his back on everything that he'd said. Perhaps he wouldn't go and see it after all. Merlin had made it this far, he didn't need anyone else telling him otherwise.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2011 16:25:26 GMT -5
Freya reveled in the chance to be close to him, listening to the rumble of his chest as he spoke. It was moments like these, just quiet moments, when she realized how much she had. A quaint little home, a track of land, someone who loved her. It was all she ever needed or wanted. She reluctantly pulled back from him in order to speak.
"I'm happier than I've ever been," she said, truthfully. "I've never been this content in my entire life." She loved how simple their lives were now. After being cursed, the steady pace of their new life was a comfort. "And you've given it all to me." She grasped his hands gently, staring down at them intertwined with her own.
"I love you, truly."
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Post by em on Dec 14, 2011 16:52:02 GMT -5
He was a little taken aback when she said that she loved him. They hadn't really been this open with one another on the subject of romance and so on, so it felt a little strange, but at the same time comforting to hear her say it. "I...erm..I love you too" he said, a little relieved that he'd actually now said it, and didn't have to worry about what she might think when he did anymore. He looked down at where her hands were in his and then looked back up to her and smiled. "So..." he began, "This is it..."
Yes the start of something knew. Something Merlin knew that many magic books and advice wouldn't help with. Something that he would have to figure out on his own. "We're actually going to do this?" he asked, but at the same time it didn't exactly sound like a question, but more of a statement. Merlin was glad that she was happy, after all - if she wasn't then she wouldn't be there with him right now. At least he knew he was doing something right.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2011 17:00:36 GMT -5
Freya was surprised that she had said the words without much thought. But once she had said them she realized how much sense they had made. Of course she loved him. It was in the little gestures that he made to make her more comfortable, or the way his smile seemed to brighten her entire day. The way that he seemed so comfortable using his magic that her heart nearly sang. She could practically burst whenver she saw him happy and, she surmised, that she would feel his pain tenfold.
She loved him.
It was also relieving to know that he loved her back. She wasn't the most outgoing person and often kept her emotions guarded. Especially an emotion like this. But when she was with him all of her rules were thrown out the window.
She smiled brightly, unable to suppress and excited giggle.
"We are," she said, feeling that a page of their lives was turning.
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Post by em on Dec 18, 2011 16:09:35 GMT -5
Merlin smiled lightly at Freya, not actually believing that any of this would happen ever. He'd never thought of himself as anyone but Arthur's idiot manservant - now he was practically havin a new life and a new start with someone who he loved. He was his own person, and it felt so good to finally be himself for once, and to not have to hide anything.
With that he leant in and kissed her gently, adding at least some confirmation to how he felt about her. He didnt want to just appear as though he was faking any excitement or whatever - besides, now they'd come to a milestone. It was time to move on from Merlin the idiot manservant of Prince Arthur - instead now it would be Merlin, the farmer whose 'wife' he loved very dearly.
Until the day he died.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2011 16:23:06 GMT -5
Freya rested a hand gently against his cheek, feeling a warmth run through her. She was so blissfully happy that she wished to laugh. Wished to jump up and take his hand and dance around the one-room house with him until she fell from fatigue. She couldn’t believe this was happening! She felt as if they were finally able to push past the events of the past few months and really start over.
She broke the kiss, leaning her forehead against his. “You cannot imagine how happy I am,” she admitted, not able to hide a smile. Let him think her a gleeful fool…she didn’t care! She kissed him again, her hands moving to rest on his shoulders. What was going to follow would be hard, but the end result would be wonderful.
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Post by em on Dec 18, 2011 16:42:25 GMT -5
Her forehead felt cool against his once she'd broken the kiss. Merlin gave a small chuckle, feeling her hands on his shoulders - his own snaking around her waist. She was so delicate...he couldn't afford to lose her in any way. Not when he'd already lost so much.
The kiss that she was giving him now was a more determind one than before - it had used to be shy and sweet, but now that seemed to have ebbed away somewhat - and instead a more passionate one taking its place instead . Merlin pulled her in closer to him, breaking the kiss off again. "Oh I think I can" he smirked in answer to her statement she'd made earlier about hapiness. His hands lingered on her waist, waiting for her to say something.
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