Far Longer Then Forever

[Alistair]

"...Are you happy?" Alistair's eyes jumped up to her face as she asked this; finding the question she had just asked had guard him slightly off guard. Was he happy? Why would she ask that to him; was she not? He had never thought about his life in terms of 'happy' or 'sad'. He'd seen others 'happy'; with smiles and laughter. Was he ever feeling something akin to that sort of joy? No. He'd not since before his parents were killed. He doubted he ever would; it was not in him to be such.

He hated many aspects of his new life; he hated fighting with her about his bloodlines; he hated her rules and the jobs knights often did. He hated not being there on the front line to protect his people; and not being able to just sit in silence sometimes. He spent years alone with no one to even talk to; only sometimes traveling with others. He took jobs at times and had been able to be around people for short times but found it easier to be where it was just him. Here their were people and talking was a must; fighting as a game was fun; flirting was a sport; and they mistrusted everything they did not know he really was.

Yet there moments that he knew he would not wish to live with out. Times when it was just them; or he did something right to please her. The games they played as she kicks him out of her bed. When she trusted him to ask him opinion on something he cared nothing about; such as politics or events that he drug his feet getting to. Times were the knights did something good rather then fun; like helping the towns people or even fighting off some sort of wild animal. When he felt useful.

Did the hate out weight the moments? No. Yet he was not sure he could ever use the word happy to describe his life. How did he answer with out hurting her? "The word means something to you that it does not to me." He told her; not answering since he could not.

[isadora]

He spent a long time thinking about his answer, and though Isadora searched his face for any indication of what he might say, she couldn't read him. She frowned, fearing his answer. If he was unhappy now, what was to say things would get any better? That he wouldn't just go on to resent her because of it? Life without Alistair now would be unimaginable, and yet, a life where he hated her would be so very much worse. Even if they fought all the time now, at least she knew he loved her. She couldn't bear the thought of a life where he didn't.

His answer still left her wondering. What did that mean? She gave an exasperated sigh and turned away, walking a few steps before she paused. Usually she was the one who confused him; but this time, she couldn't figure out just what he was saying. What else did it mean? And, as usual, she couldn't count on any further explanation than that. It was so...frustrating! And she didn't know how to respond. "I don't understand," she said pleadingly, praying for something that might illuminate his statement. "What does that even mean?"

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[Alistair]

He wasn't sure how to make her understand; especially with out angering her. He watched her as she turned from him and waited for her to turn back; but she did not. He waited to see if she would but not for long; for he knew he owed her an answer. Even if he did not know how to give her the answer.

He glanced at the ground to scan for anything he would have to step over or fallen leaves that would give his approach away and found none. He moved silently toward her; reaching over to pull a flower up that grew on one of the many vines that climbed the walls. Turning it he placed the petals on the skin of where her should and neck curved together, and traced a line over her color bone before holding it a few inches form her.

He knew that he could not answer her in terms of yes and no; he did not even know how to. He used his free hand to pull her back into his chest and rest his head over her's. "There is many things I hate; but you are not among them." He told her in a gentle tone to ease into things; "Your rules are many; your traditions great." And they could make him feel as if he was trapped in a room with the walls too close around him; "I've seen your people's version of 'happy' and that can never be me." They were too carefree; and at ease. Comfortable in their surroundings in ways he could never be. "I would not leave here for want to be anywhere else." There was no where he rather be.

[isadora]

She jumped, her body tensing when she felt the light touch on her skin, turning her head just enough to see him close behind her. How such a big man could move with so little noise, she would never know, but he certainly found it handy when he needed to sneak up on her. She was tempted to just pull away and demand her answer, but her anger softened when she looked down to see the peace offering he held out before her. She reached up to take the flower, twirling the stem between her fingers while she gave him the chance to explain.

It was true that she couldn't imagine him relaxing and cavorting with nobles --or anyone else-- with the greatest of ease, so she supposed it was fair enough that he wouldn't be happy in that sense. So happy wasn't the word for it, but Isadora didn't know any other way to ask what she wanted to know. "But...you're not unhappy?" Well, if he couldn't be happy anywhere, she at least wanted to make sure he wasn't miserable here. She put her hand over his, holding her to him.

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[Alistair]

He wanted for her to take the flower and when she did he dropped his hand to rested over her belly; spread wide as if to touch the whole child that was there. If she asked him if it was worth it; then he could answer that a million times easier then 'happy'. They fought constantly; and he often thought about shaking her or dragging her back in the woods but he knew the difference between fighting; and hate.

He'd tired not to fight with her; the stars new he tried. There was just only so much a man could yield. So many orders and rules he could follow at a time. "There is more to like on the scale, then to hate." If that meant by her standards that he was 'happy' or 'not unhappy' then so be it. He still did not understand why she asked this. "Why?" And wondered if she was not; "Are you?"

[isadora]

He never could give a straight answer, now could he? She followed his hand with her eyes as he spread it over her middle, and she smiled a bit. At his question, she rolled her eyes. Wasn't that obvious? "Because I want you to be happy." She answered, turning around so she could face him, she tapped him on the nose with the flower he'd given her lightheartedly. "And it's so hard to tell what you're thinking." She added, looking up at his impassive face pointedly. She used to think it might get easier to read his face, the more time she spent with him, but that theory was quickly being disproven.

She considered the second half of his question carefully, although that was mostly just to keep him waiting rather than because she needed more time to think it through. She used the flower to trace the contours of his face, running the delicate petals down the bridge of his nose and across his cheek, following the line of his jaw down to his chin, then repeating it in reverse on the other side of his face. Despite her efforts to remain serious, a playful smile tugging her lips up. "I am." She answered at last, her answer much simpler than his had been.

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[Alistair]

Alistair was easier to read then most people assumed; and the longer you knew him there were things you could pick up on. None of it was really ever in his face. When he was was relaxed his body was looser; and his moments casual. When something was bothering him; his shoulders became tight and he worked harder to keep his face impassive. When he became angered or annoyed he became very still and kept his face unreadable.

Being unreadable was how he could protect himself from looking the idiot. Make sure that he came to appear the silent foe rather then the unsure child he'd been at twelve. "And it's so hard to tell what you're thinking." Which was the other point to being unreadable. "You have to ask to know." He did not like talking about somethings; but if it would make her feel better he would try. Sometimes he would soften his words; with effort to not hurt her but he would not leave her with nothing. He would try.

"I am." "Then I am." Because of this was her idea of 'happy' then surely it could be this simple. Reaching up to remove her hand flower from his face; he leaned down to kiss her to prove his words. Yes they fought; and he hated many things in her world but that was not defined his life.

[isadora]

She raised an eyebrow at his words, wondering if he meant if. "And if I ask, you will answer?" She had to ask, because he had never been very good at speaking his mind, not even to her. Often he would just stare in lieu of words, but with his impassive face she could hardly be expected to know his mind from that alone.

She smiled when he returned her words back to her, and she let the flower drop from her fingers when he kissed her, brushing her fingers against his cheek as she moved her arm back to wrap it around his neck. It was easy to forget she was angry with him when he was kissing her, bloody irritating man that he was. After a moment, she drew back from the kiss, but kept her arms around his neck. "You make me insane." She told him with a slightly incredulous tone, although it was true. Why was it he could only admit he was happy after he'd already worried her with his complicated answers?

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[Alistair]

She was right to doubt his willingness to speak; for he was not fond of speaking. Not finding the words easy in his mind; or they not coming out as he wished them too. "I will try." It would be easier with her then with any other. There was less fear of mockery and more ease between them. Still; he often doubted he sounded as 'flowery' at the other men in the court; hell, most the time he rather not sound as flowery as them. Some of them sounded like idiots event o him; and if he thought people talked like fools then he knew they were.

After the kiss; she told him he drove her insane. He chuckled once deep in his chest; amused to know the feeling was mutual. She drove him insane as well; so it was only fair he returned the favor; even if he did not know how the hell he did it. He thought he was being nice; and that she'd be pleased. At appeared she was. He moved his large hand to rest on the side of her face; noticing how small she was compared to him. No child of his was bound to be small; and he'd heard women in the druids camps talk about large babies. He would have to keep his mind wide open; and hope he did not dream of her. "Names are important with my people. Strong names breed great men." Or women. "We will have to think very hard." They had time; but he liked the idea of thinking of a name for his son--or daughter.

[isadora]

The last thing Isadora would describe Alistair as was 'flowery', but often she found that she preferred his plain speech to all the poetry in the world. Not that poetry wasn't nice; it just wasn't something she'd expect Alistair to give her. If she were to ask though...she imagined it would go much as her request for him to dance had.

She nodded when he said that names were important to his people; well, apparently that was one thing they had in common. "With mine as well," a name was an important thing, their child would carry it with them all their life, so they'd better make sure it was worthy of the man or woman they would become."We have time to consider," she pointed out, it was still early in the pregnancy, and for now, they had other things to worry about. But it was something nice to consider amongst all the unpleasant things.

She pulled back from him, glancing around the garden. It was a little late to be worrying about getting caught now, she knew, but it was the first time she had remembered. She thought about suggesting they go back; but while he seemed in a better mood, Isadora didn't want to risk bringing him back to the room filled with nobles if he were still angry. She didn't want to know what would happen if someone said something...disagreeable then.

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[Alistair]

Alistair watched her thinking and knew everything would change once they left this hidden pretend place; for once the exited it would be back to the hot room where too many bodies pressed too close caused the room to heat and with all the candles meant to give light the fresh air was too rare. Men were too drunk to notice mistakes; but not level enough to back down from their own; and women thought they could be too bold with touching and talking.

He did not want to go back. He wanted to stay here; and he needed a plan to keep her here that did not involve fighting with her. After watching her for a few long and silent moments; he decided on his next course of action. It was something that he wasn't looking forward too but apparently she was. He knew he was about to make a fool of himself; and it annoyed the bloody hell out of him; but he rather do it here were they were alone rather then in there were everyone could see. Besides; he could use the reason to hold her close.

"Isadora;" He used her name since apparently he never used it for good things; "Will you do me the honor of a dance?" The words felt silly on his tongue but they were the words other knights had used to ask ladies to dance.

[isadora]

Isadora was still considering whether or not it was a good idea to take him back to the banquet when he said her name, and she looked up at him, a trace of worry on her face. What else could he have to tell her now? He had already told her as much bad news tonight as she felt she could handle. But the rest of his words rendered her worry pointless, and it took her a moment of staring up at him before she was able to convince herself that he really had just said that. Alistair had actually just asked her to dance.

A slow, steady smile spread across her face, her expression brightening with pure joy at his words. He'd already staunchly turned her down earlier, so it pleased her beyond measure that he was taking back his earlier stance. She still doubted he'd be willing to dance with her in front of others, but she didn't care. What did it matter what other people thought, as long as she got to dance with him. "Really?" She had to ask hopefully, because she was still having trouble believing he had really just asked her.

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[Alistair]

When she smiled he knew he'd picked the right opinion for keeping her in a mood mood. "I do not know how;" So he knew there would be mistakes; but at least he was not going back in there and she was smiling. Besides; when she asked for a dance he had not been feeling out of place; and been annoyed at everyone trying to talk to him about politics; or other women or worse his woman.

If doing this mean staying here where he had a sense of peace alone with her then he would make the fool out of himself and dance. Alistair only knew how to begin. Reaching for her; he pulled her into his arms, and took her arms in the 'proper' form. The next step however; he did not know for sure. He knew if he stepped on her; he could injure her badly; or at least ruin her night. So he waited for her instruction instead.

[isadora]

Isadora couldn't help the smile that stayed in place when he reached for her, pulling her closer and even managing to get his hands in the right places. She had wondered when he'd said that he didn't know how to dance that he might use that to try and get out of it, but apparently, that just meant he was going to let her tell him what to do. She would've thought he'd be tired of having her boss him around for today, but apparently, it was something he just couldn't get enough of. She nodded, looking up into his eyes before she started her lesson.

"Step forward with your left foot," she instructed him, moving her right foot back to show him how he was supposed to move. "And now your right," she continued, nodding when he did as he was told, "now step to the right," it was strange to explain dancing to him; it was something everyone she knew just...knew. She had taken lessons when she was younger, but since then, it was just something everyone knew. But he wasn't like everyone else. "Right foot back, good, now the left," she really hadn't lied when she said it was easy, "and now step to the left." She finished, and they were right back where they had started. She smiled up at him, rather pleased with him. "And that's all there is to it. I told you it was easy."

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[Alistair]

Alistair did not infact like her being the boss; he hated it but in her world he had little choice. The only thing he did not mind her taking charge in was her politic that he cared nothing about. And in bed. The rest of the time he was following her lead because he had no clue as to what to do; but he did not like not being able to take care of her.

He knew that evil times were coming upon them; for he'd had dreams for months about it; but he would not tell her. He was however preparing for it. So when the day came he would be ready to do what he must to keep her safe. Until then; he would move his left foot forward, and step to the right to give her some peace. "You forgot something." He told her; before lifting one of the linked hands up over her head so she could turn under it. That part he'd seen others go; and knew he could stand still for it.

[isadora]

Isadora was feeling hopeful. Yes, she was keeping in mind all his warnings about their child and his gifts, but for now, she was going to be optimistic about it all. She wanted to believe that things would be all right; that they would get whatever they needed to keep their child safe, and that no matter what, Alistair would protect her and their child from everything. He had sworn to always protect her, and she had no reason to doubt him, so for the moment, she planned on focusing on the good. The good being the fact that Alistair was actually dancing with her!

She blinked when he said she'd forgotten something, but gave a light laugh when he lifted her hand, and obligingly, she twirled under his arm gracefully. "Look who's getting all advanced on me now; I was trying to keep things simple." She teased lightly, stepping back into his arms to resume the simple steps she'd taught him. "You use your hand on my back to show me where you want me to go." She told him, she didn't think he'd have any trouble with that. Usually he just moved her where he wanted her anyways.

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[Alistair]

She was telling him how to move them around the room; yet between the slightly uneven ground thanks to some of the roots of the trees and him not wishing to harm her toes he thought it would be best not to risk moving around the room. At not were he could crush her feet.

Instead he did the same simple steps with his head looking at his feet half the time. In order to distract her from not moving around the room; he turned them so they stayed int he same box but moved another way. There; not it would seem they not moving anywhere. he said nothing while holding her and dancing so he would not break his focus on her feet; and the not crushing them idea.

[isadora]

Isadora was happy enough that he was dancing with her that she wasn't too concerned if he didn't want to move around much; he was still new to this, after all, and it wasn't like they needed to worry about anyone else crashing into them out in the gardens. She did notice how he was staring at his feet the whole time, as though afraid he might trample her if he didn't keep an eye on himself. But he wasn't quite oafish enough to make Isadora fear for her feet.

She wanted to make him more confident; and that gave her an idea. He liked holding her, and he'd never had trouble moving her where he wanted her --with or without her consent. "How about if we try a dip?" She suggested, moving his hands so he'd be able to keep a grip on her, and putting her hands on his shoulders. He'd observed enough to know how people twirled; she figured he had to have seen a few people trying this as well.

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[Alistair]

"How about if we try a dip?" He had watched a few nobles try it; and even more normal people. Nobles did it formally with hands not touching anything inappropriate. The others used it as an excuse to touch everywhere. While he liked the later; he would give her the former. Moving his hand down to support her back he let her 'fall' back into the dip.

Half way down he pretended to 'drop' her; so she feel quickly for a few inches before he caught her and lifter her up into his arms. One of his arms was behind her back and the other under her legs. Alistair then turned in a circle; then two as if they were dancing. Now he held no far of her toes; or were to put his feet. He looked into her face as he turned them; his lips edged up in on corner since he was a little pleased with his actions.

[Blame Disney and an 8 year old for the sap of this.]

[isadora]

Her hands tightened on his shoulders instinctively when she felt his support vanish, well so much for trusting him not to drop her! Her feet were still on the ground, and she tried to steady herself, but it was too awkward an angle for her to make it work, and she knew she was falling. But even as she braced for impact with the ground, his hands replaced themselves and he caught her, lifting her off the ground completely and cradling her in his arms, looking quite pleased with himself. She took a deep breath to settle her nerves.

She might have said something about how tossing her around probably wasn't good for the baby, but when she looked into his face, he was...well, not quite smiling, but it was close enough to count. And she just couldn't bring herself to ruin this moment for him. Unfortunately, the nauseous feeling stirring in her gut was something she couldn't ignore, and would almost certainly ruin the moment. "Down, down, put me down now!" She said, somewhat panicked. Once her feet were under her again, she wasted no time in vomiting behind the nearest shrub. "Well, it's definitely your child...it hates twirling too." She said once she was finished being sick, turning back to face him.

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((Suuure, blame the kid. Don't worry, I have a talent for murdering sappy moments. ^^))