Small Bump [Caitrin]

[lucan]

Lucan hadn’t been surprised when Thomas announced the arrival of Caitrin that morning. No doubt she’d heard the news and immediately had made her way over to the estate. Time to be interrogated de Archer style…again! Caitrin was the Queen of interrogation when it came to matters like these. Lucan admired her for it – after all, she gained far more for her benefit than others did. To make her more annoyed and anticipated he told the servant to make her wait until he called her in. Almost immediately after Thomas left he could hear Cait’s voice expressing her annoyance at being made to wait, and this only made him chuckle even more.

The door burst open and Caitrin was now fully in the room. Lucan looked up from his work and raised an eyebrow. “Why is it that so many people find it hard to knock?”
He was sure she muttered something and carried on his battle of the wills against her. “Go out and knock again Cait” he told her, pretending to look incredibly annoyed that she hadn’t listened to his instruction. Stomping from the room, he heard the door shut and three swift and impatient knocks.

“Who is it?!” he called, unable to hold back the grin on his face now. Toying with his sister in law was just what he needed, especially as now the door had been opened with some force and she was once again in the room, looking exceedingly annoyed than earlier.

Tagged: Caitrin de Archer
Timeline: S4-5 Gap
Setting: Allard’s Estate, Early Morning

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin really didn’t appreciate being told to wait for anyone, not even her brother in law. She had heard the good news of course, but she guessed most of Camelot would know by now. Not that that was a bad thing in the slightest. She was so happy for Lucan and Camila, and she wished them both well, and she was sure that Camlia would come through the pregnancy, as she was a strong woman. Lucan was lucky to have her. She had not come alone to the estate of course; Arthur had been fussing for most of the morning, so she hadn’t wanted to risk leaving him in case he needed her. She had brought a basket full of blankets to place him in if he fell asleep, which he hadn’t done so far. Arthur was very much awake, and still would not settle. On top of that, her belly felt as if it was going to pop out of the dress she was currently wearing. The baby she was expecting was certainly going to be quite large at the rate the little one was growing. She bit her lip as she felt the child stir within her; she loved him or her unconditionally, and she always would, no matter what had happened in the past. It would never be the baby’s fault.

Now however she was getting incredibly annoyed with her brother in law. Surely he should know that it was an incredibly bad idea to irritate a pregnant woman, especially if that woman was your sister in law. Caitrin stormed up the stairs, a servant following her holding Arthur in his basket, as she walked straight into Lucan’s study. She pulled a face at him as he began to complain about her not knocking. She had been the one to be kept waiting all this time. What on earth did Lucan think he was playing at? Muttering under her breath she inclined her head to him in a sarcastic way and went out of the door again, deciding it would just be easier to go along with this ridiculous game. Pulling a face at the door, she knocked three times politely, and picked Arthur up while she was waiting for Lucan to presumably call her in. As he spoke, she felt her temper flare up and she opened the door again, and stormed in; Arthur still in her arms. “Did Camila not tell you that teasing pregnant women isn’t good for your health?” She asked him with raised eye brows.

Arthur was squirming around unhelpfully in her arms, and she rocked him a little, which was slightly uncomfortable given her swollen belly. She glared at Lucan, no one could bring out her temper like he could. She wasn’t going back outside the room now anyway, she was going to sit here and ask after what she had intended all along, though she did admit she felt less inclined now to be social with her brother in law given his reception. “Congratulations, on your good news.” She had managed to calm down a little and so managed a smile at him, “Esmae and Arthur didn’t put you off the thought of having children then?” She looked down at Arthur and poked his nose softly, “I told you that you should have tried harder.” Of course she was only jesting, it was wonderful that Lucan was going to be starting his own little family, and that she would be an aunt, and Griff would be an Uncle. Now, that would be interesting to see.

[lucan]

Lucan looked up again as Caitrin strode back in, irritated. She looked more pregnant today than when Lucan had last seen her, then again a month was a long time to a woman who was carrying a child. “She has not mentioned it as of yet, but I wouldn’t put it past her – besides, she enjoys my teasing almost as much as you do” he smirked, “after all – I’ve not seen my dear sister in law for a while”.
He sat back a little more relaxed. Griff had visited the previous evening and the conversation over the baby had sort of helped him overcome some worries, but not enough to allow him to cease his thoughts altogether.

“Thankyou” he smiled lightly as Cait congratulated to him, “How are you feeling? Hopefully Esmae and Arthur haven’t been running riot too much for you?” Esmae and Arthur could never do that. His nephew had now clocked his uncle and gave his trademark smile that much reminded Lucan of Griff. He got up and walked over to the chair that Cait was now settled in and crouched down to Arthur’s level. “And how are you Sir Arthur? I heard you making a fuss earlier.” Luc looked up and winked at Cait with a knowing look.

Rising from his current position, he poured her a drink, Thomas interrupting the pair with an apologetic look and handing a letter to Lucan. It was in Allard’s writing. He opened it and scanned over the words, before placing it back on the table and offering Cait a drink.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Her temper was still quite high as she entered the room, and seated herself in front of Lucan’s desk. Caitrin however quietened her temper as quickly as she could, as the physician had told her on many an occasion that getting herself worked up and annoyed might harm the baby. That was the last thing she wanted to do, so she had taken a moment or two to compose herself, and nothing felt like it was happening with the baby so she relaxed and took her mind off that little subject for the time being. It had been harder being pregnant with this baby than it had been with Esmae and Arthur. With them, they had always been seen as the ones to complete their little family, and the baby she was carrying now was an eerie reminder of how it had almost been torn apart. They were memories that Caitrin didn’t like to revisit, but she was often forced too. It was hard to think that this wasn’t Griff’s child, but the baby would be Griff’s. She would make sure of it. Everything would be fine when the little one arrived; it was only two months now until the birth. Caitrin smirked a little at Lucan, “How have you coped without seeing me?” She teased softly, “You had best not tease Camila the same way that you tease me, Jesu, if you do it’s a wonder she puts up with you.” Again, it was a little jest, but there was usually very little seriously discussed between Caitrin and Lucan. As brothers in law went, she was quite glad to have been landed with Lucan.

She smiled as Lucan accepted the congratulations as she shifted Arthur in her arms. He was just under ten months old now, and Arthur was always incredibly animated. Though he had her colour of hair, as he had grown he had started to facially look more and more like his father; especially with the way he smiled. “Do I look as tired as I feel?” She asked lightly with a small laugh, “It’s getting easier, Esmae and Arthur are sleeping longer, so I’ve had more time to rest while cooking up the next Aubert.” She smiled, though it was a sad sort of smile; not that she would ever admit it of course. Arthur’s attentions had already been snatched by his Uncle of course, no doubt he had recognised the voice, and the baby was smiling away as he sat up on his mothers legs, leaning against her belly with one of Caitrin’s arms draped around him to stop him from falling. It really did amuse Caitrin that Lucan always insisted on calling Arthur ‘Sir Arthur’. “He was making a fuss earlier, I wasn’t going to bring him, but in the state he was in I couldn’t leave him. He probably knew I was coming to visit you.” She smirked, as her sons attentions were now firmly on his Uncle, and he was gurgling happily at him.

Caitrin just watched as their little meeting was interrupted and she brushed a hand through Arthur’s red hair and kissed the top of his head, watching Lucan as he opened the letter. “What is it?” She asked him with furrowed brows, as she took the drink he was offering her, sipping it slowly and carefully; given she still had Arthur in her arms. Caitrin took a moment to look around the room she was currently sat in, Allard’s estate was quite beautiful, it wasn’t as big as her Uncle’s estate, but it was nice all the same she supposed.

[lucan]

He gave a mock sigh, “It’s been tough Cait, I have to admit” a small smirk crossed his lips, “but I’ve survived – however I’m pretty sure that Cam almost had a nervous breakdown when she first saw me.” Lucan had missed his wife dreadfully during the last month, he’d already felt guilty enough about having to ride out a day after her birthday, let alone not knowing she was carrying their child. But he was glad to be back with her and the rest of his family.
“How’s Roly?” Lucan asked. He wouldn’t have been surprised if Cait’s uncle had taken to building an extra wine cellar on hearing the news that baby number three was on its way. All the same it had been good of Rouland to allow Cait and Griff to reside at the estate with the twins, and Lucan was grateful to the older man.

“You look perky” he commented, “and if I wasn’t mistaken earlier, you also looked like you wanted to run me through, so it’s good to see that you still have enough energy in you” Lucan could see something in Cait’s eyes, but couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. Perhaps she was starting to tire, but it still bothered him. “Is everything alright?” he asked “You look….well; I don’t know how to describe it other than different.”

Tutting at Arthur, Lucan shook his head disappointed, “Now Arthur, what have I said? Stop making a fuss for your poor mother.” The child gurgled at him even more, his little face alight and arms waving about excitedly. “I daren’t give you a sword with the way those arms are going at the moment, you’d kill someone.”

The letter now lay upon the table when Luc took his place back in his chair, Caitrin looking a little curious as to what it contained. “Just from my father” he shrugged, “I was expecting a reply from him today, I sent a message to let him know about the baby, and of course the letter says what I thought it would…” Within the letter, his father had expressed how vital it was for Camila to give him a son, and how she would fail him and the Aubert family should the child be a girl. It had angered Lucan slightly (although he did not express this in front of Cait or Arthur), but he had expected nothing more and nothing less from corneous. He was bent on seeing his son carry on the name, but to Lucan, he didn’t really care. Son or daughter – the baby would be very much loved all the same.
“Read it, I don’t mind” he gestured to the paper; he knew what Cait’s opinion would be.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin matched Lucan’s smirk and laughed a little. Though she and Lucan had got off on the wrong foot at first, they were now quite close, and she appreciated him as an in-law, and hoped that he felt the same. “I wouldn’t have expected it to be easy.” She teased, though she knew that Lucan was more than capable of holding his own; probably more capable than she was in some respects. She was so glad that he had Camila, and they were finally building their little family. It was everything she and Griff had, but Lucan had taken the easier root; it hadn’t been easy for Caitrin or Griff to get to this point, but they were happy and that was all that mattered. Caitrin laughed again in amusement as Lucan asked after her Uncle, “He’s not impressed that we’ll be going through the sleepless nights again.” Of course her Uncle knew the circumstances about her pregnancy, and he had been incredibly supportive, more so than she had ever expected him to be. “He’s coping well, his wine stores are fully stocked of course, but he bought me some things for the baby the other day, which was kind of him.” He had just bought her some blankets, and some materials for her to make the baby clothes. She still had some of the ones she had used for Esmae and Arthur, but they had been so well worn that most of them were falling apart.

Perky? Jesu she felt anything but. Caitrin felt like she was surviving on nothing but the few hours sleep she was granted here and there. It had gotten better now of course, and she was better than she had been in months, but it still didn’t feel right. Caitrin looked up at her brother-in-law with serious eyes, and pressed her lips together. Lucan knew what had happened of course, how could he not know that the child she was carrying wasn’t Griff’s; though she still felt like it was her fault she had to get past that. She couldn’t have prevented what had happened. “I just had a bit of a moment earlier.” She looked down at the floor, a small nervous laugh escaping her lips before her eyes raised to Lucan once more, “I just worry about how Griff’s going to be when the baby arrives. I know he’ll be a wonderful father, I just- I don’t know.” Griff’s parenting wasn’t what she was worried about, he had coped well enough with the twins, but she didn’t want him to be reminded of Pip, and what he had done, every time she handed him the baby. She wanted to raise this baby exactly the same as she had raised the twins; nothing would be different, that was how she wanted it.

Rather than deterring his nephew’s behaviour, Lucan’s appearance was making the wriggling and squirming worse as he threw his arms out to his Uncle, “Do you want to hold him for a while?” She asked him, trying to keep her arm around Arthur to stop him falling from her lap. It would have been easier to do that of course if she weren’t heavily pregnant as well, “And you aren’t giving him a sword for a few years yet.” She narrowed her eyes at Lucan in a jesting way, and laughed so ruined her serious look anyway.

Caitrin hadn’t heard much from Corneous in some time, but she hadn’t been expecting to. She and Griff weren’t really that important to either of their families in terms of heirs and inheritance, despite the fact they already had a son. Caitrin took the letter from Lucan, she was too nosy to ignore it. The letter made her feel a little sick to read, and she hoped that Griff hadn’t received anything like this when she had been pregnant with the twins, “Is he being serious?” She was quite visibly shocked as she read over the letter again to make sure she hadn’t misread anything, “He should be hoping for a healthy grandchild, and little else.” Caitrin said rather sharply, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped.” She added, a little sheepishly as she realised how harsh her tone had been, “Which would you prefer? A son or a daughter,” Caitrin paused, “Given how much of a handful this little monster is.” She tickled her son, and the baby squealed and squirmed on her lap.

Notes: This is assuming Lucan knows what happened with Pip, if you need me to edit let me know

[lucan]

Lucan knew full well of the situation that had gone on months before, he had not spoken for or against the matter, and kept his thoughts about it to himself, after all – it was for Cait and Griff to overcome, and no matter how much advice and protection Luc could provide, he couldn’t this time. He sat back and studied his sister in law. It was a tricky situation, especially if you were unsure of the outcome. “I can see what you mean” he started, “but if you’re thinking the worst then there really is no bother, the past is the past and you can’t change it – either way you have to think about the most important people involved. Esmae, Arthur and the baby.”

What a mess it was. Lucan had a good mind to find this ‘Pip’ and set an example, but he wouldn’t – and that was because that man was hardly worth the time of day or Lucan’s energy.

Taking Arthur from Cait, he sat the baby on his lap and bounced him up and down for a while. Arthur immediately behaving and starting to chew on the laces of his tunic. Lucan didn’t mind, as long as he wasn’t wriggling or causing mischief he could chew them all he liked! He saw Cait’s face change whilst reading the letter and listened straight faced to her rant. “My father has been waiting for this day for years, he’s always told me that a son is worth every weight in gold and that no heir would crumble the line.” Running a hand through his hair he sighed, “Needless to say I’ll be telling him my thoughts exactly on the situation in a letter later on – I won’t show it to Camila, she will only become upset.”

He didn’t have to think about gender preferences. “A child who will be doted on.” He replied simply. “Camila has wanted this for quite some time, so we’ll be content with either a son or daughter,” By now Arthur’s constant chewing had changed to a sleepy one, “anyway…” Luc smiled looking down at his nephew and stroking his hair, “I’ve never been as heir mad as my father, it helps yes – but should you wind up without one then there’s nothing you can do. I could even die without one, but the estate would still carry on, I’ve made sure of that in case that circumstance occurs….” He trailed off on the subject.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin had struggled with what had happened with Pip for months afterwards, and she couldn’t say that she would ever be over it. How on earth would she ever be able to get over what he had done to her? Her hand smoothed over her belly, at first she had wondered if she could truly ever love the baby when she had first found out she was pregnant. That had been a stupid thought though, one she regretted completely. There was no question that she did love this baby just as much as Esmae or Arthur. It didn’t matter how she had come to be pregnant, because there was no way that it could be the babies fault, and she would never blame them for that night. She squirmed a little as her brother in law spoke, she knew it would be fine, but she was an irrational, hormonal woman and she felt like she had a right to be a little worried about how they would cope with the new baby. “I just want everything to be normal Luc, no one but you, my Uncle and Griff know what happened, I just worry it’ll be obvious. What if they look like him?” She ran both her hands over her belly as Lucan took Arthur in his arms. The baby kicked her, and she gasped out, she wasn’t sure how she would take it if the baby was the spit of Pip. It was something she would have to deal with if it ever came to it.

She watched as Arthur transformed for his Uncle; it was always like that really wasn’t it? Caitrin smirked a little, and just watched as Lucan bobbed her son up and down on his knee. He settled so quickly that Caitrin was almost jealous of the effect Lucan had on Arthur. However, she knew that children often behaved more for their extended family rather than their parents given that they were usually spoilt by them. Caitrin had no doubt that Lucan and Camila would spoil her children rotten, as she would spoil their baby when it came along. “If you’re this natural with your own children you’ll have no problem.” She said softly as Arthur looked incredibly content.

Caitrin nodded a little as Lucan said that he was not going to disclose the nature of the letter to Camila, “I won’t say a word to her.” Caitrin promised and gave her brother in law a soft smile. She looked at her son, to her, both her children were worth just as much as each other. She knew she should see Arthur with more value, as he was her son and he was Griff’s heir, but still, she loved both Esmae and Arthur equally and nothing could change that. “Did he tell Griff that as well?” She asked, her eyes still on Arthur, wondering how Corneous saw his first grandson. Caitrin didn’t want Corneous interfering with her children at all, in the same way her own father wouldn’t have a say in their upbringing.

Lucan’s answer made Caitrin grin, and she couldn’t have asked for a better answer. “They’ll have an Aunt and Uncle who will spoil them rotten as well.” She winked at Lucan and gave a short laugh. She did frown a little though as he spoke of dying without an heir, “Don’t be silly.” She scolded, the frown still outlining her features, “You’ll have an heir, I have no doubt of it.” The talk of other arrangements did ignite Caitrin’s curiosity, and she couldn’t resist asking more about it, and she pressed her lips together, “What have you done?”

[lucan]

He felt sorry for Cait, truly he did. If it had been before they’d made their peace with one another then he wouldn’t have felt any pity for her actions at all – but now? She was his dear sister in law who had made one mistake that could be the cost of all she had. It was a 50/50 balance and one that no one could determine until the child was born.

“Cait…” he said softly, “we all make mistakes, I’ve made loads and it always works out better in the end no matter how much hurt or happiness you have.” He hushed Arthur some more, smirking slightly at Cait’s comment. “Knowing me, my own children wouldn’t have a moment from my sight” he sighed.

Lucan wasn’t about to tell Cait how scared he was. Of everything. It wasn’t in his nature – for Lucan to feel a tiny bit of fear wasn’t unusual, but to feel it this amount? The last time he’d felt it as much as this was the night he’d met Camila. Had his father drummed the same sentence into Griff? “Not as much as he did with me – I think he thought I’d marry far sooner than anticipated, I can’t say I blame him for making up for lost time.” He shrugged.

It didn’t surprise him that Cait was interested in his plans should anything happen. He smiled lightly and tapped his nose. “All in good time Cait, but what I will say is that not only with Camila and the baby be taken care of, but you, Griff and the children shall also be too…you have my word on that.”

[Caitrin de Archer]

There were still moments in her day where Caitrin couldn’t quite believe what had happened a few months ago. She had always been so strong, and so sure of herself and of her own strength. But Pip had ruined that. He’d found her when she had been on her own. It made her sick to think of, and she still didn’t feel comfortable with speaking about it for the most part. She hadn’t wanted Pip that night, she had told him to stop, she had begged him to let her go, but he hadn’t listened. He just hadn’t stopped. Caitrin paused; her own thoughts echoing inside her head. She shuddered and a chill ran up her spine. The way Lucan said mistake hurt her and she bit her lip and looked up at him. What did he think had happened? Or did he think that she hadn’t protected herself enough and that she should have fought Pip off? Caitrin had thought that herself at first; that it had been her own fault for not fighting Pip off and for not having a guard with her. She had been so naive, but she had been in her own home and she had thought she would be safe. How wrong she had been. “Lucan...Did Griff tell you what had happened; exactly what had happened?” She needed to know what he thought was the mistake, because it was important to her. There was a time where she hadn’t cared less what Lucan thought of her, but now she did.

Caitrin just watched her son, she could see so much of Griff in him despite the scarlet hair. She knew that Griff found fatherhood difficult, but he tried, and both of the children loved him and they behaved for him more than they did for her most of the time. He had been smug at that. The new baby had been a sore topic from them both at first; there hadn’t really been any of the joking about them both becoming parents, and if it was a boy it should be called Griff. It had almost been a topic neither of them had wanted to even consider until it had become too unbearable for them to keep it quiet any longer. It felt better now though. “I have no doubt, though Cam might have something to say if you start taking them to your training practice.” She smiled at the thought, though didn’t bother with feigning a laugh.

The topic of marriage and so forth was one that she could see Lucan was uncomfortable with speaking of. She was glad that he had married for love. It was becoming the norm wasn’t it? She just gave him a soft smile, and smiled at her son as he started to make soft gurgling noises. She cocked her head a little at Lucan, an air of curiosity about her mannerisms. Arthur was starting to fuss a little, but Caitrin knew he would be fine. She wasn’t quite sure what to say to her brother in law. What had he done to make him so certain that everything would just be fine? “You know patience was never my strong point.” She joked a little, “What is it Luc? I feel like I should thank you, but I have no idea why yet.”

[lucan]

Lucan had horrible thoughts of what had possibly happened, but he’d taken to leading Cait onto a different path of thinking. He wasn’t going to say his theory and upset her so instead he shook his head at her question. “No…but since our discussion I’ve had a feeling, but didn’t want to dwell on it – it would only upset you.” He said, “I don’t think of you badly or any differently regardless of what happened. If you or Griff need anything at all, and I mean anything, then just say and I’ll do what I can.” She needed to know that someone had her back.

He laughed lightly of the thought of taking them to training practice. “By the way everything is going at the moment; I doubt very much that it will happen…” He said this with some kind of sadness in his voice. He was going to have to give up his job sooner or later and it pained him. It had always been a large part of his life – his mother had been born in Camelot and if he had to leave it would be like losing her as well as his father. Lucan stood up and walked to the window so that Cait couldn’t see his pained expression. He didn’t want a sympathy vote and she was in a far worse state than him.

“Don’t worry Cait, you’ll find out sooner or later, but that’s enough on the matter – anyway you look like you need another drink” he turned on his heel and walked over to the table to pour them both another drink.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Of course it was upsetting; that was the nature of what had happened to her. It would always hurt to some degree, she would just learn to cope and live with it. She looked up at Lucan, though she could feel herself getting upset she felt like she needed to talk about it. She couldn’t speak with her Uncle about it, and she knew it just upset Griff when she brought it up. There was no one else in Camelot she felt like she could really speak to and so she needed Lucan to understand that. She didn’t want to burden him with her problems, but this was a weight on her chest that she needed to get rid of. “Luc there’s no one else I can talk to.” She said quietly, she wasn’t going to become hysterical because it wasn’t in her nature, but she could feel her eyes becoming moist and her chest was starting to knot. “Please?”

Caitrin frowned at Lucan, not quite sure what he meant. Was he still concerned about whether Camila’s pregnancy would be successful or not? Or was he referring to his job as a knight? Caitrin couldn’t think of a better knight in the whole of Camelot; not that she was bias of course. “What do you mean?” She asked softly as she took Arthur back from him as the baby was still fussing. Arthur had a tendency to kick up a fuss after a while. She started to bounce him softly on her lap; hugging her arms around him gently.

She managed a small smile at her brother in law, and nodded, “When don’t I?” She asked jokingly, “I think I take after my Uncle a little more than I want to admit.” She was still intrigued to hear what Lucan had done but she respected his want of secrecy and so acknowledged it with a small smile. “I have to say I can’t wait to be an Aunt. I’ll spoil your child rotten.” She winked to show she was joking but she felt the mood had to be lightened a little.

[lucan]

She had no one to turn to, no one at all – and Luc couldn’t imagine how Cait was feeling right now, but it was a cry for help. No one else would know, she hadn’t confided in his brother nor Camila or anyone. He wondered why on earth she’d choose to pour her heart out to him? Then he remembered. They were family. “Alright…” he finally said softly, “I’m listening, you can tell me anything…”

On the subject of leaving Camelot he smiled to himself weakly. “My father is dying….” He began; he may as well just come out with it now. He hadn’t told Griff, and he hadn’t even told Camila – she would only worry for him and that was the last thing he needed. “Soon I’ll have to give up my knighthood and go back to Glouchedon with Camila. I’d have to leave everyone I know and care for here…It just…it just doesn’t feel right.” Lucan paused, “He only has a short time left, my Uncle has told me that much…anyway that’s enough of my current problems”

He didn’t think that there was any doubt that their child would be spoilt by Cait and Griff; he was smiling at the thought. He spoiled Esmae and Arthur too much than he should, but they were first children born to the family for years. “Not too much I hope” he laughed, “I want him or her to grow up knowing that people have to work for what they really want.” That was true, and he knew that very well.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin set Arthur down on the floor as he was starting to tire of being held. He was making small soft cries, which were quite pathetic in a way, but she knew what he wanted. Arthur hadn’t been walking for that long, he was only just around a year old but he had walked a lot later than Esmae and till preferred to crawl around. When he was set down, Arthur began to pull himself around the floor; Caitrin knew he couldn’t get out of the study, and it was safe enough for him here.

She raised her tired eyes to Lucan once again. The only other person who knew what had really happened with Pip was Griff, but that was because there had been no hiding it from him. He had a right to know of course, after all that had happened. She didn’t know where to start, but she needed to tell someone else. She had known Lucan for years now, and he knew the best and worst of her, perhaps not to the extent that Griff did, but he still knew her quite well. Caitrin felt herself tearing up, the knot in her stomach was still there. “I...” Her throat was dry so she took the goblet of wine off the desk in front of her and took a small sip before she continued, “I was on my own in the estate, with the twins obviously, but Griff and my Uncle weren’t there.” She creased her brow, “I don’t know why.” She couldn’t remember much about that night aside from what had happened to her, “Pip let himself in, I told him to leave, but-but he w-wouldn’t.” She could feel herself shaking and so she set down her goblet and wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand, “I tried to get away from him, but he-he got me and-“ The tears were rolling down her cheeks now, and so she stopped to try and compose herself, “I kept screaming for him to stop, but he just...” It hurt to even think about it but she needed to get this off her chest and to tell someone other than Griff. She couldn’t speak with him about it because it upset him, and she knew it did. “He forced me Luc, I didn’t-I couldn’t ever have done that to Griff.” After everything she had been through with her husband there was no way that her head would be turned by anyone else, even one who she had once held affection for.

Caitrin looked round to Arthur who was sat on his own in the middle of the floor happily babbling to himself. Caitrin smiled at him despite the tears that were rolling down her face. She buried her head in her hands, and let out the anguish that had been stored up since that night. Caitrin had coped with her grief in other ways in the aftermath of his attack; her arms still bore the scars of her lowest time. It had helped at first but now the scars were a painful reminder of what had happened to her.

She hadn’t calmed down a great deal, but she listened to Lucan as he told her that his father was dying. Looking up, she wondered if Griff knew, or whether Lucan had kept it from him. Lucan was quite a private person, and might not have wanted to worry his family until he was certain. “Dying?” She repeated with an air of disbelief. Corneous had seemed in good health when he had visited her and Griff over a year ago, but a lot could happen in a year. She knew what the implications of that were of course; Lucan would go back to Glouchedon to become Duke there. “You’ll be a fantastic Duke Lucan, you can show all your own knights how it’s done.” She offered; trying to lighten the mood a little.

Caitrin gave Lucan a knowing little smile. Of course she and Griff would spoil Lucan’s children rotten because he already did that with Esmae and Arthur. They didn’t have the money to spoil them too much anyway; the estate was healthy, but they hardly lived as well as she would like. “Just try and stop us.” She pulled a face at her brother in law, and picked up Arthur again as he had walked back to her side.

[lucan]

So his suspicions had been proved. Lucan was angry, how on earth could this have happened? His fists tightened as Caitrin continued explaining her ordeal, and by the time she had finished, he was pretty sure that he would rip the arm off of the chair at any moment. “If I ever find him, I’ll kill him…” his words came out through gritted teeth. How could any man barge into a home and put a woman through all of that? “I swear I’ll kill him…” and he would. Lucan calmed himself down finally and passed Cait something to dry her eyes. “I knew you wouldn’t have done that to Griff, I know you all too well.”

Dying. Yes his father truly was, and it was only so long before he would have to take his place, something that he wasn’t exactly looking forward to. “Yes…” he answered her flatly, he knew there should be more emotion but he couldn’t muster any right now. However fantastic or not, the sheer reality was that it would be a complete nightmare. “My father has prepared me for this day since I was born - I feel I should know what to expect, I do know, but at the same time I can’t help but feel that it’s all going to be a shambles.” He told her, “Being a Knight is all I feel I really know, I’ve been in Camelot for so many years that I’ve almost forgotten what Glouchedon looks like.” He paused, “I’m debating whether to tell Griff, he probably wouldn’t care – he and father have never been close, but he needs to know either way…”

He smiled as he watched Arthur fussing around his mother. Lucan hoped to see his son doing the same to Camila one day. For now, all they could do was wait to see what the future would hold.

[Caitrin de Archer]

Caitrin was almost close to being completely distraught, though in a strange way she felt better. She had been carrying this secret about her and it had begun to weigh her down, and affect everything around her. In the aftermath of what Philip had done to her she hadn’t been in a particularly good place; she had just thought that it was the end of everything. She was sure that Griff would hate her, and at one point she had contemplated that they all might have been better off without her. That had been a stupid point in her life though, and one she regretted now. She shouldn’t have even imagined that doing anything like that would have solved anything. Caitrin placed both hands on her belly, and looked up at Lucan as he spoke. She wasn’t going to fuel his anger anymore than she already had. “You and Griff both.” She doubted Pip would show his face in Camelot again, but then again, the mans arrogance made it hard for Caitrin to predict what he would do. Taking the handkerchief from Lucan, she dried her eyes, “I still love my baby though.” She managed a small smile as she felt the baby stir within her. How could she ever hate something that was of her own body? “They won’t be anything like him.” Her words were strong and forceful; not leaving any doubt that this child would be anything other than completely loved.

She couldn’t help but feel a little sad at the fact that Lucan and Griff’s father was dying. She knew how difficult he had made things for both men while they had been growing up, but she couldn’t really find any comfort in the fact that he was dying. She wondered how she would take the news of her own father’s death. Caitrin knew she would still be a little sad, despite what he had done to her in her childhood. “I’m so sorry Luc.” Was all she could think to say, and of course this would mean Lucan would become the Duke wouldn’t it? “It won’t be a shambles Luc, you’ll make a fantastic Duke.” She smiled and put her hand over his and squeezed it, “And Cam will be there too, you won’t be doing this on your own; she won’t let you.” Caitrin gave a little knowing smile, she knew her sister in law was just as determined as she was.

Caitrin lifted her son back onto her lap, and he sat quite contently there and looked up at his Uncle, then back to his mother. “What do you think about having a baby cousin, eh Arthur?” The baby smiled, more because his name had been mentioned she suspected than because of the topic, “I think he’s excited.” She said with a small grin.