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It might come as a little surprise that Brynn was so devoted to her work, there were many clichés connected with the task of a goosemaiden after all, starting from that the fair maiden over the years became like her geese to the ridiculous insult a goosemaide only had straw in her head anyway. Brynn knew she was no philosopher or great mind in general, but she knew she was by no means a simpleton, and she wore the nickname ‘Goosey’ – which especially her father often used – with pride. She knew there was much more to herding geese than just sitting around all day. It DID involve a lot of sitting of course, but she always had to keep an eye on her fosterlings, because they had much sense for trouble cooped up for some with such little heads.
So, Brynn was not in the least averse to talking a bit more about her work, as the Lady Caitrin seems genuinely interested. Brynn had to admit, she already began to enjoy this encounter far more than she would have guessed in the first place. She would have to talk to Idris later… maybe she could help her friend more often if the event turned out so pleasant.

Brynn couldn’t help a slight smile creeping across her face as the lady confessed she never had had anything to do with geese before, even though it surely was no wonder.
”That explains it”, she mused softly. “Because if you had, I’m sure you would have noticed their moodiness.” A picture came forth from the back of Brynn’s mind, a very amusing scene she could still laugh about today, though it must be more than a year back. With glittering eyes, she began to explain:
”I have a friend in the castle, perhaps you know him, Merlin, Arthur’s manservant. He once visited me on the meadows and Martin, the gander of my little pack, attacked him and chased him across the lawn. He’s… I think another friend of mine once called it ‘territorial’. Maybe a reason why geese usually make good guard dogs. They don’t like strangers very much.”
Slowly, their geese had at least accepted Alex amongst them, but there had been very funny chases before that already. Her siblings though, perhaps because they were children, had never been any problem.

Speaking of them… apart from her geese, her family was probably Brynn’s next favourite subject. She had always been the big sister watching over them, and though it could get straining at times, there was nothing in the world she would not do for them. She had even risked her life for them once, when the Knights of Medhir had taken over the sleeping castle to find and kill King Uther… and it still made a warm feeling of gratitude rise up inside her to think of Prince Arthur helping her getting Gyrth and Elinor to safety, not to mention her mother!
”Elinor tries”, Brynn agreed with a fond chuckle. “She’s already formed a bond to most of them, and I am sure in a few years she will be gold, though until now I won’t leave her alone with them yet… they can get dangerous when they start bickering amongst each other. Quite human sometimes, I tell you!”

When the lady groaned, Brynn’s brows furrowed in concern for a quick moment, and she started to work a little faster. Probably Lady Caitrin would want to lie down again soon, that weight must be nearly unbearable. Already Brynn thought that the bump she was seeing was a little bigger than what she was used to from her mother’s pregnancies, but then, the last one was now almost six years back… she could be mistaken in the size, and no woman was the same anyway. It just didn’t look very pleasant, having to carry around such an additional weight.
Her facial expression though lighted up considerably, when she heard the unexpected revellation: Marrying for love! From what Brynn knew that was quite unconventional for nobles indeed, but it explained many things. Lady Caitrin’s enthusiasm for one, when she truly loved her husband, then this child was conceived in love as well, and not out of a sense of duty! “My congratulations then, Mylady!” After they had talked so casually for this amount of time, Brynn though such a comment might not be too bold. “I am happy for you! And yes… names. I think the only time my parents ever truly argued was when it came to the choosing of names. It’s a big decision after all, every name brings its own heritage.”

A slightly fond smile appeared on Brynn’s face as Lady Caitrin commented on Idris always being out and about. It was surely true. Sometimes Brynn considered herself very lazy in comparison to her friend. She was not quite sure what exactly was Idris’ job description, but it seemed like she was some kind of gofer, always there wherever and whenever she was needed. It might not be the worst job on earth, as you surely couldn’t complain about boredom, but then it also must keep you quite busy. Else Idris wouldn’t have had to ask Brynn to take over one of her jobs for this day, she must have gotten conflicted somehow, with another task demanding her full attention. Well, it was not like Brynn wasn’t ready to do her friend this little favor, the geese wouldn’t kill her if she took them out a little later today, the weather wasn’t at its best anyway.
”Oh yes, that she is”, Brynn replied, shaking her head slightly. “It’s a miracle for me how she can still keep that wonderful personality of hers in such a stress. But she does it… somehow.”

Lady Caitrin’s question surprised her not just a little. Not so much her ignorance about what being a goosemaiden entailed, that was to be expected from someone who had probably never wasted a thought on this matter, no… it was more the interest in general. By now, Lady Caitrin had already contradicted everything Brynn had ever learned about nobles. Given, there were not many ladies in the castle, and even less now that the Lady Morgana had turned evil, but still… this was extraordinary. But in a good way!
It almost reminded Brynn a little of Gwaine. He was unconventional as well, though their relationship of course went deeper. For all her interest and friendliness, Brynn doubted that she really would be able to call Lady Caitrin a friend one day. But that wasn’t so bad. Status differences were made for a reason, and as long as they weren’t exploited, it was quite a succesful concept.
”It sounds easier than it is.” Brynn’s voice had a tint of pride as she began to talk about one of her favourite subjects. “Basically I am responsible for the geese of the castle. I take them out to the meadows in the morning, so they can eat and get the excercize they need, and then at sundown I return them to their stall. But geese are very picky in choosing their company. They are the moodiest creatures you can come across and can turn out to be very aggressive.”

The way the noble lady reacted to her unborn child rid Brynn of all doubts she might have had still about this woman’s pregnancy. Oh, she surely would be a loving mother! Not that it was a rarity, but she had seen enough examples already of noble ladies forgetting about their children the minute they had left their womb. But not with Lady Caitrin! Brynn was sure she would deeply care for her child and those who were still to come. It made her all the more sympathetic, and it didn’t even need the consistent interest in Brynn’s family to get her even more in the goosemaiden’s good graces. This turned out to be more than just a quick task done!
”Gyrth is ten!” she replied brightly. “And I also have a younger sister, Elinor. She’s eight and the darling of Camelot’s servanthood.” Another fond smile crossed her face as she thought of her angel of a sister. “She wants to become a goosemaiden too one day, and I think she’s got a hand for them already. Well… both of my siblings often visit me in the meadows, so the geese know them.”

Another rule in the book was contradicted, though it didn’t surprise Brynn as much anymore. Not concerned about an heir? That was something and very fortunate for them! Either they didn’t have so much dynastic thoughts to worry about, or they simply didn’t care. It was amazing in either way, but very amiable. Also the way Lady Caitrin spoke about her husband, depicted them both so refreshingly… normal!
”Having a daughter makes things both easier and more difficult, I guess”, Brynn hazarded, though she didn’t know much about these things. “A daughter demands a dowry while a son brings one in. Then again a son will probably become a soldier or a knight… and that makes it so much more dangerous.”
Even the thought that for example Gyrth would one day have to fight as well, probably serving as a guard of Camelot with the right training, did squeeze Brynn’s heart together. Then there would be two men in the family she and her mother would have to worry about whenever Camelot was under attack – and it happened so often! It was sheer luck her father had survived every one of those until now. Other families hadn’t been so lucky.

The nod was enough of an encouragement for Brynn to go ahead with her task. She lowered herself into a quick curtsy, carefully clutching the sheets to not drop them while she was slightly out of balance, and then scurried towards the bed. Being out of the castle the most part of the day, Brynn didn’t have such a good insight into the work of a maid like she probably should have. She didn’t know how often the sheets for the nobles were changed, though these still looked very fresh, just a little crinkled maybe. Judging from the lady’s state, she must spend much time in bed now, and probably couldn’t wait for her baby to be finally born. Servants couldn’t allow themselves such luxary. The three times Brynn consciously remembered her mother’s pregnancies, she had been working in the kitchen up to the very moment the contractions had become unbearable. Maybe that was a reason she had lost so many children. Four had been miscarried or born dead, only Brynn and her two little siblings had made it through.

But that was the way of the world, and no one questioned it. If women didn’t miscarry, they might have too many mouths to feet anyway. It was a perfectly normal regulation of humanity and the women had learned to carry on and not break each time they lost a child.
Slapping herself inwardly, Brynn forced her thoughts quickly into a different direction. It was unlucky to think of miscarriages in the presence of a pregnant woman, everyone knew that! Brynn prayed with all her might the bad luck had not already taken its toll, that would be unforgivable!
She hadn’t imagined the lady to ask about Idris, hadn’t imagined her to care even who did her work as long as it was done, but apparently she had misjudged the woman.
”Yes, Mylady, Idris is perfectly fine. Just… busy.” Idris had been very vague in her explanation as well, so Brynn couldn’t really tell more about her friend’s whereabouts.

As well as she could possibly manage, Brynn worked to remove the old sheets and replace them with new ones. Her hands might not be as steady as that of a trained maid who did nothing else but cleaning and changing sheets all day, but the goosemaiden thought that all things considered, she was doing a fairly good job. Even talking did not distract her as much as she had feared.
Bowing her head slightly between two motions, Brynn acknowledged the name. Lady Caitrin Aubert… not that she had heard that before, but somehow it still sounded slightly familiar.
”I am Brynn, Lady Caitrin, Brynn Reade”, she replied, smiling. “Usually I am the goosemaiden of Camelot, so you must forgive me, if the work of my hands is not as smooth as you would wish.”
Then her smile grew brighter as Lady Caitrin talked of her unborn baby, and the fond gleaming returned into the girl’s eyes.

”My young brother was the same to my mother, I remember it vividly. And he’s still a rascal”, she remarked, but then bit her lips. Surely the lady was by no means interested in a servant’s family. Hastily she added: “So maybe this will turn out to be the desired son and heir, Mylady.” That was what they all wanted, right? Brynn had heard stories of men cursing their wives for not bearing a son as the first child. An heir was more important than anything else. Gladly, amongst commoners the rules were less strict. Her parents had been delighted to have a daughter as their eldest.

Brynn was not the overly nervous type, but she could get unsure at times, especially when she had to do things she was not familiar with. She knew everything about geese, and could help out in the kitchen without any problem at all, but what she now had been asked to do was nothing she usually could be found doing, even though it sounded pretty harmless: changing sheets.
Every young girl knew how that was done of course, but she usually didn’t handle the fine linen the nobles were used to sleep in. Wouldn’t they be overly finicky about it all? What if she made a mistake?
But when Idris had asked her to take a few sheets to a lady’s bedchambers this morning before she took out her geese to the meadows for the day, because she herself was busy, Brynn couldn’t have very well said no, now could she?!

This lady hadn’t been in the court long, at least her name didn’t sound familiar to Brynn’s ears and she wasn’t very well interested in gossip. If she was lucky, the lady would be out and about anyway, so she wouldn’t even take notice of a different maid doing the work today. Well, maybe she would be surprised of the slight untidiness and awkwardness of the draping of the new sheets, but hopefully Idris wouldn’t get in trouble because of Brynn’s inaptitude… oh well, things would work out somehow, Brynn was sure of that!
Even though she hoped the lady was not inside, Brynn balanced the heap of fresh sheet on one arm and raised the other to curtly knock on the door. She couldn’t just bask in somewhere without permission, that would probably give her more than just slight reprimands.

But of course her hopes were thwarted. “Come in Idris, the door is unlocked.”
The voice sounded friendly enough, and yet Brynn’s stomach tightened into a knot at the muffled sound and she took a deep breath before pushing the door open with her elbow. What she was greeted with, surprised her not just a little. A figure stood by the fireplace and even though she showed Brynn only her back, her state was obvious: the lady was pregnant and by the size of her bump it could come any day! Involuntarily, a sweet smile spread over Brynn’s face. Children were so wonderful! She vividly remembered the time when her two younger siblings had been nothing but little critters in her arms. Hopefully the lady would feel the same love for her child, Brynn had seen many examples where the high and mighty seemed to think their bond with their offspring ended as soon as it left the womb. But that was not her business anyway.

Too late she realized she had been standing there without saying a word far too long, looking at the pregnant lady, lost in thoughts, and so she hastily lowered herself into a curtsy.“Forgive me Mylady, Idris is occupied and asked me to fulfill this task for her. I hope you don’t mind?”

Was it possible the concerned voice and the glance accompanying it could make you feel guilty? Apparently so, as Brynn could feel the worm of guilt coiling in and nagging at her guts. Was it right to try and leave? Leaving was like a flight, leaving everyone behind to safe herself. People she cared for, her father for one, but also Idris. Idris had become a dear friend, even though they didn’t see each other that much. But then there were her own family to look after, and Brynn knew she would not have piece of mind for just a minute if she didn’t know what had become of them. The woods were dangerous at night, there could still be members of Morgana’s army lingering behind. But they had all been too frightened to think of that in this very moment. Anything had felt more safe than Camelot… and this was so not how it should be.

Brynn had almost expected Idris not to do what she told her to, she was not that kind of girl. However, she didn’t know whether to be annoyed or relieved by it. Any more knowledge about this could get Idris in trouble, if Brynn was caught, or even if her flight was successful. There was a chance Morgana had turned completely paranoid and suspected a conspiracy amongst the servants. And she would ask questions amongst Brynn’s friends first.
But then, maybe she was giving her own role far too much importance. This was all very confusing, and Brynn hated indecisiveness. Her firm resolution was already waning, and that was not a good sign.

“I’m trying to get out of the castle”, she repeated, partly to convince herself she still was doing the right thing. “I need to check on my family, to see if they are alright. You know the citadel is not safe anymore… and seeing it occupied by Morgana makes me sick!” Subconsciously her hand touched her left shoulder, where a year ago a crossbow had hit her, commanded by Morgana. It didn’t hurt anymore at all, thanks to Gaius, but it was a symbol for Morgana’s cruelty and mercilessness. A memorial, a reminder that something like this should never happen again. And now it had.

“I know it sounds crazy and maybe it is…” she tugged at her white cap nervously, sighing. “But, I just can’t stay here and do nothing. So I better leave and look after my family before I do something even more stupid.” Idris would probably try and stop her… she was stubborn and caring like that.

Gwaine’s reaction to her sudden appearance was friendly and even appreciating, but Brynn still had the impression something was not right. He tried his best to sound normal, no question of that, but Brynn couldn’t quite shake off this peculiar feeling he wanted to hide something – and that was an oddity in itself! She knew no other person, maybe apart from Merlin, that was so refreshingly open and cheery. The goosemaiden doubted he would be very successful in lying, but then that was just her own estimation. There could be hidden depths everywhere, and maybe Gwaine was just another example. What was ailing him? What COULD be ailing him?
Well, the whole of Camelot had been in quite the turmoil over the last few days, and a happy ending like it had turned out to be, had not been very likely. Somehow Arthur had managed to turn a war into an alliance, fragile as it may be. The people of Camelot had welcomed him back as the hero he was, but Brynn was not so ready to shake off the dread she had felt at seeing her father marching off into war. He would have fought for Camelot, and he would have fought bravely, but the odds of him returning had not been working in his favor. In the end, it was only one person winning every war: Death.

Was he being shaken by this as well? Brynn knew it was not true that soldiers and knights had no fear of battle. They simply knew how to deal with it, accepting that death was part of their vocation. Then again, Gwaine had often ridden into battle or on a dangerous mission before, and he had always returned the same cheeky flirt as he had been before. As soon as the horses had been taken care of and he had been able to get his leave from Arthur – or sometimes even without it – he had visited the next tavern, with or without money!
”Could anyone ever know all your tricks? I’m sure you’ll never be out of creating new ones” she joked with a mischievous gleaming in her eyes, but just like him, she felt she was not really into lighthearted banter tonight, not that she was often anyway. She wanted to know what was wrong, and before she didn’t have her answer, she would probably turn this in her head all evening, thinker that she was.

And then he asked about herself. It was obvious he wanted to shift her attention away from him, but as far as Brynn was concerned this would not be happening, not if she did not get something in return. This way out was too easy for him, he could not get away with it!
”I’m just glad my father’s home safely and that Camelot doesn’t suffer from a war”, she responded, but then waved it aside. “So I’m fairly well. But, don’t get me wrong here, you don’t seem to be.” She stopped and turned towards him, sincerity written all over her face. “Know that you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but also know that I am here should you need me!” A little smile crossed her face. “People say I’m a fairly good listener.” Maybe that came with not talking too much, and thinking more. But whatever it was, if this character trait could help Gwaine, Brynn would be glad for it. She wouldn’t force him though. It was his decision and she would respect it.

Brynn was smiling softly to herself as she idly wandered the streets of Camelot. What to do on such a wonderful evening when you had nothing more to do, but the rest of the world was apparently busy? She gave a low chuckle. Alright, so it might not be the whole rest of the world, it was just the rest of HER world. Her father was – like so often – on guard duty, patrolling on the parapet, and her mother was busy in the kitchen, aided by her two younger siblings who were slowly old enough to do their share of the work. And Alex… yes Alex was busy as well, and so after just having returned the geese to their shelter on the castle grounds, Brynn found herself here, wishing she could accept this night off. She had asked if her help was needed in the kitchen, but they had told her that everything was under control and she should go enjoying herself. Enjoy… Brynn was not someone enjoying doing nothing, it was not how she had been raised. Many might argue that herding geese was the equivalent of doing nothing the whole day, but then they only had to spend a single hour with that pack and stood corrected. It might seem an easy job, and it was surely a lot easier than what many other servants did, but it was still work that could leave you exhausted after a long day!

Sauntering through the streets of the lower town, Brynn greeted a few familiar faces here and there wit a friendly nod, but didn’t feel in the mood to stop for idle chit-chat, however much that might have passed her time. Something was different in Camelot today, but it might only be the aftermath of a huge storm that had been threatening them: War with Caerleon. Brynn’s father had of course been amongst those chosen to fight, and she had been almost sure of never seeing him again, but then Arthur had reached a miraculous agreement with the remaning Queen of Camelot and no battle had taken place. That was too good to be true, and the people of Camelot had given Arthur the reception he deserved: he was a hero, once again, not for winning this fight, but for avoiding it for his people’s sake. His sympathies had never been stronger with them, he had proven to be a worthy king.

So, everything seemed to be as should be on this quaint and wonderful evening, even though Brynn felt a little out of place. But then her idly straying eyes caught on something, or rather someONE that seemed even more out of place. Was that Gwaine just walking by? Shouldn’t he be in a tavern right now, after all she knew about him? Shouldn’t he celebrate like everyone else that they had just avoided war, pain and bloodshed?
Furrowing her brows in bewilderment, Brynn turned on her heels and hastened to catch up with the one knight she thought she could call a friend. He had been so wonderfully normal to converse with, didn’t seem to care about status difference without making her feel uncomfortable about leaving her place. If there was something wrong with him, she wanted to know.

”Gwaine!” she called out, and lightly nudged him, a smile on her face. “Everything alright with you? Shouldn’t you be making the taverns happy with your presence and your amount of money you leave there?”

Brynn often did not know what to say, she was not a woman of many words, and that was why she often felt so comfortable in Alex’ proximity. He might talk a little much from time to time, but at least he always knew what to say and how to react in certain circumstances. But never before had Brynn really felt so awkward, so helpless and even extradited. Instead of knowing what to say, she only did know what NOT to say, and that might at least be something.
She would not try to talk about Gwen’s betrayal, she would keep away from any words that remotely sounded like ‘sorry’ and she might not even try to convince him of Gwen’s innocence. She had not been there, it was not her place to say anything.
The problem was that then there was not very much left to say at all. She could not even distract him duely, as she didn’t have any idea what to talk about instead, they had so little things in common. If he asked about Alex, she didn’t want to rub it in how happy they both were.

For a walk… that was such a simple sentence and yet it entailed so much more. The King of Camelot didn’t just go for a walk. Well, he could, but usually he had more important business on his mind. Like ruling a kingdom, fighting off evil, finding a queen… but now the very same soon-to-be queen was the reason he was out there, probably trying to escape it all. Should she leave him alone? But then, he was already far too alone, wasn’t he? He should not be forced to go through this alone! Not that she thought herself to be the right company for him or anything, he sure had many people far more suited for that, but Brynn could also not just sit by and do nothing. Seeing him so shattered pained her too.
”A walk is good…” she ventured softly, not knowing how far she could go. Could she really imply that a walk might help him to gather his thoughts about this? Surely he must know that Gwen truly and deeply loved him. Whatever had happened there between her and Lancelot couldn’t be anything but a huge misunderstanding. “…for many things.”
No, she could not say it. Had she been of noble birth, Brynn might have felt more comfortable about giving him some sort of comfort and advice, but banning Gwen from his side probably didn’t make him more favourable towards the whole servant status. Better not risk this fragile and peculiar relationship they had by appearing too bold.

Gladly she took the opportunity to talk about something else. Her geese and her profession was one of the few topics you could really get her to talk in length about, and it was all the while better than this awkward silence and fishing for words!
”Indeed I do, it is my favourite place”, she confirmed with a tentative smile. “It’s not too far from the lower gate, but it’s still remote enough so no one can complain about my chattering lovelies. And they love it here as well… sometimes I think they could find their way here without my help and back.”
One thing she could never tell him though was that out here, hidden from the prying eye, Brynn often talked to the wind and let it play with her hair all it wanted. If anyone knew it would be her death, even though she still couldn’t fathom if this was magic or not. People would see it as such. “And it’s rather peaceful as well”, she concluded, making a wide move with her arm, enclosing the whole scenery. “Sometimes I just sit here for hours and watch the world turning slowly around me.” Camelot and all its problems really seemed minor out here.

What was the sense of this? What was the sense of anything really? Brynn’s already very pensive mind had just gotten something to deal withthat might be too much to swallow and wrap her head around. Practically overnight a dream for a bright future had shattered. It had not been her dream first and foremost, but it had been shared by everyone in Camelot.
The dream of Arthur and Guinevère.
It was no more.

The town, first practically frozen with shock, was now buzzing with wild speculations and rumors, but they all came down to one totally unbelievable point: Guinevère had betrayed Arthur, his trust and his love. With another knight. With a knight that had practically come back from the dead. With Lancelot. And that on the eve of hers and Arthur’s wedding. It was unbelievable. And Brynn didn’t believe it.
But then, she had to. Gwen had left Camelot at first light and now Arthur was on his own. With nothing but a broken heart, pain and regrets. And so many questions unanswered. Brynn couldn’t even start to imagine how that must feel. She could only compare it to the other love story she knew: Her and Alex. Now, even imagining him wanting another made her so sad she could hardly breathe, but she knew it was only a fraction of what Arthur must feel right now. Because for him it HAD happened. At least that was what everyone was saying.

Brynn was sitting on one of the hayballs on her favourite spot in the meadows, surrounded by their carefreely chatting geese. It were two less than usual. They had been killed already for the feast. The feast that now would never happen. Brynn had not liked to see them go, but she had seen it as a kind of personal sacrifice, and for Arthur’s and Gwen’s happiness she was willing to give much more. She had been so happy for them both, ever since it had become public knowledge that Arthur wanted to make Gwen his queen and the tournament had started. Brynn still remembered her joyous excitement as she had witnessed the tournament, something she dearly loved. It now seemed like a lifetime ago.

”It’s so wrong”, she told Queenie, one of her favourite geese that had just poked her beak curiously against Brynn’s knee. “Arthur and Gwen belong together. Until the end of time. Period!” For Brynn, a little like for her father, the world was set in rather simple patterns sometimes. When something felt right, it ought to stay that way. Just like none other could ever replace the Pendragons as ruling family of Camelot, none other should be at Arthur’s side, being queen that Gwen. She was the right person for it, despite or maybe even because of her status. She was the only person for it.
And now that dream was done.

Suddenly, Brynn thought to catch a movement in the distance, but as she was facing the sun, she could not see who it was and shielded her eyes. Maybe Alex? But he would have more then enough to do with cleaning up everything that had been prepared for the feast. So who would it be?

Tag: Arthur
Timeline: after s4e9
Time of Day: midmorning
Notes: Hope this is okay