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Post by em on Dec 13, 2011 17:53:43 GMT -5
He blushed as she spoke about certain requirements that was expected when....well yeah anyway, he smiled akwardly and looked at her. "Why would you ever think that?" he asked, "I thought it was because that you didn't feel the same way as I do." Well - this was all going swimmingly wasn't it?
Merlin rose from the chair quickly and walked over to her when she apologised from taking him away from Camelot. "Don't ever say that" he shook his head, "We wanted this, you and me - and had I had to choose again then it would always be you." a small grin formed on his lips, "besides, spending the rest of my life with Arthur didn't sound half as appealing as it did with you." His hand reached up to cup her cheek. "I told you that you didn't know how special you are - why can't you see that?" he murmered and looked into her eyes. "Freya..." he started and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips, "If this is what you want...then who am I to say no?"
He pulled away, "Don't ever feel guilty - because I don't regret leaving Camelot, and you shouldn't either. I could have lost far more if i'd have stayed behind and let you go"
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Post by em on Dec 13, 2011 17:20:49 GMT -5
She was now reasoning, saying that it wouldn't be straight away and that it was just a thought. Merlin really didn't know how he fully felt about the whole thing. He'd always pictured himself serving Arthur until the day he died, and then when he left Camelot - staying with Freya until the day he died. Children had never really crossed his mind or entered any images in his head, but now he thought about it a little more, not only did it seem a little different, but also it scared him. Could he actually raise a child? He never knew his father so he'd always said that he would never be like him.
"Erm..." he began, stumbling a little over his words. How on earth was he supposed to carry a conversation on such a heavy and yet delicate subject. He couldn't deny Freya of something that she'd almost been robbed of, yet at the same time - it could be dangerous. "Right..." He ran a hand through his hair and sat back on the chair, folding his arms and looking at Freya (who right now looked just as awkward talking about it all as he did).
"I suppose that...well..." he truly was stumped by where this had all come from. "It's just...I never thought that i'd be a father, let alone want to be one. It was always about how my destiny was to reunite Albion with Arthur and let magic return..." blah, blah, blah. His gaze then directed itself back to the table top. "I know it's something that you seem to have your heart set on, and i'm not going to say no..." he paused, "but we need to think this through - about whether it's for the best, how we'll get by and if it's both what we really want."
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Post by em on Dec 13, 2011 14:22:23 GMT -5
Ok, so it did involve him - that was good wasn't it? Her next words confused him slightly. They had everything didnt they? Just them and a couple of cows and a lake? He frowned slightly. "And what?" he asked before it actually all pieced together in his mind.
Oh...
He made a small 'o' with his mouth. "I seeeee". She wanted more than just the two of them? Was that it? Merlin wasn't really sure how he felt about the subject. "I haven't really thought about it..." he said, "Well I have, but not in detail.." he realised that sunded wrong, "not to say that I didn't want to think of it, because I did it's just...well it's just that..." A child? was that it? He was sure that it was. He did want children yes, but wasn't it a little early? Then again she had said the future, but how far off was that in her mind?
"I er...I guess that one day, perhaps..." he shrugged slightly, "I mean it would be nice..." and destructive. Of course any children they had (if any and if it was indeed the right track that he was on) would be born with magic. Merlin's powers had started to show when he was just a year old and objects began to move by themselves. There was no doubting that if they were to have children that the same were to happen.
He looked down at the table top, a little embarassed by the conversation they were now having.
"How long have you been thinking about this?" he asked.
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Post by em on Dec 12, 2011 17:30:33 GMT -5
The future? This was worrying him now - she didn't want to stay? Perhaps she was going to leave now while she had the chance. Merlin didn't want that - in fact that was the last thing that he wanted.
Wait...
Future? By the sounds of it, it involved him. "What about it?" he frowned slighty, wondering what on earth could possi...ok...Now one thought had crossed his mind that could only be the possible solution in his mind. Family, just like he knew she wanted.
Whatever it was, that seemed to be the only thing. Even if he wasn't sure about it himself. He was now busy taking the needle from where it rested on a newly mended shirt, and turning it over and over in his hands. "Does...er.." he began, "Does it involve me?" He wanted to be sure before he jumped to conclusions.
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Post by em on Dec 12, 2011 17:10:56 GMT -5
He smiled as she took some logs from him. She had become comfortable now and would often help him out with things to be sent to the market. Merlin helped her inside with the rest, "What about?" he asked curiously. He wondered what she could be thinking of that had given her the expression that was on her face. He hoped she wasn't regretting their hasty decision to up and leave. He had suggested it, she had merely gone along with the plan. What if this wasn't what she wanted.
Merlin set the logs down by the fire and shrugged off his jacket, giving Freya a curious look as he did so. "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked again and looked to the fire that wasn't even lit yet. "Bryne" he muttered, sending the flames begin to rise in the hearth. It was so easy to do things like this now without having to risk being caught.
Grabbing a chair he sat at the table and folded his arms, leaning forward over the top of it slightly and waiting for Freya to actually tell him what was going on. Merlin knew her enough to know that whatever she was thinking, it was making her unhappy in some way. That was something that she didn't want.
Bryne - A flame |
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Post by em on Dec 12, 2011 15:48:19 GMT -5
It felt strange not having to rise at a specific time every morning to wait on a Prince had and foot. In some ways Merlin missed it, and yet there were other times when he didn't. He'd managed to get Freya and himself out of Camelot (after tending to her wound of course) and run. He didn't care what anyone thought or said, and he hadn't spoken to anyone of what he was going to do. Gauis would have only gone against the whole thing and Arthur? Well he was a prat anyway so his opinion didn't count.
Merlin found it hard at first, to settle into a new life with someone and adjust to it, but now he had a new role as a farmer and was bringing in money for him and Freya to both live comfortably, that was all that mattered. He'd spent most of his days on the fields and tending to the animals,(They were near a lake which was even better). It was what he'd grown up around and therefore the best choice of job. He'd also sell herbs as well as food at the market on other days. He knew whch were the best to find as he'd gained some knowledge from Gauis, and people paid extra for things like that. He didn't want to be struggling like he was before he'd left Ealdor for Camelot.
Freya was coming out of the door and into the small garden as he arrived back home. 'Their' home. Now that no longer felt strange. In fact it brought a smile to his face. Something to call his own. It was small but enough. Merlin knew that Freya wanted more from this life than just the two of them. A family. He could see it in his eyes and hadn't brought up the subject incase he thought they were rushing into things. They'd only been in their home for a few months now, and already he knew they were closer than before. She brought out a different side of him, a far more confident one. He could be himself and didn't feel the need to keep secrets from her. The thought of a family was a nice one, but at the same time it made him wonder whether he could provide enough for them.
"Are you alright?" he asked as he stopped in front of her, giving her a small kiss on the cheek, whilst trying to balance the wood he'd brought home for the fire under the other arm.
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Post by em on Dec 11, 2011 17:42:50 GMT -5
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*INSERT MASSIVE FLAILS AND FANGIRLY SQUEEING HERE*
ITS NEARLY UPON US, AND IM GOING TO BE KICKING SOME BUTT AND TAKING NAMES!!!!!!! AS IS ARTHUR..............WITH THE SWORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
.................................
Can you tell how much I want next week to hurry up? ??!!!!!
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Post by em on Dec 11, 2011 17:16:59 GMT -5
Merlin grinned and tightened his free hand into a fist. Muttering a few words, the flash of colour across his eyes and the strawberries that were now falling from his grasp and onto his face were enough to know that he had actually done it. After what? Two years?
He laughed to himself and picked some of the strawberries off from where they'd landed on him, passing them to Freya. "I...er...didn't think they'd do that" he looked a little embarassed but went back to his resting position. "and after two years you would've thought i'd be able to not mess something as simple as that up."
The suns position had now moved in the sky above them, appearing as though it was indeed mid afternoon. Merlin had been out all day and soon it would be getting darker, but he was staying, no matter how much Gauis protested when he was back. "I didn't think that I would ever be lying here now." he admitted, "For a start Arthur always has me running about doing this and that, "Clean this Merlin! Polish that Merlin - MERLIN!"" he joked and then turned serious, "but honestly, I never thought that I would ever see you again after you gave me the sword."
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Post by em on Dec 11, 2011 16:48:32 GMT -5
He nodded at her response, a little unsure as to what to say next. "Good" he nodded in approval, "Reeeeeeeeeeeeeally good...". Shifting his body slightly more towards her, Merlin rested back against the ground, one hand behind his head propping it up slightly. He'd never appreciated the view before; not even when he'd gone thhere various times to think and talk to the water, it had been then that all he remembered of the lake were sad memories. Now, it held a new and very different meaning.
He turned his head to Freya and smiled, glad that he was able to have something to look forward to when he came back to the lake. Gauis would now be wondering where on earth he'd got to, but Merlin didn't care. He'd stay at the lake with Freya until it was time for her to return to the water.
"I can still try and have a go at making some strawberries?" he grinned at her.
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Post by em on Dec 11, 2011 16:23:02 GMT -5
"Well, that was ni..." he was cut off as Freya kissed him again?! Blimey. Not that he was complaining of course, infact, it was quite nice. It felt like it had done the last time it had happened. Where the hell should he put his hands?! At the moment they were resting awkwardly by his side. Did she want him to put one arm around her? Merlin didn't even know whether she was just kissing him again to shut him up.
He soon found that his hands acted by themselves. One of them snaking across and round the front of her waist. He had missed this. He had missed her, and it was only now that he was staring to realise how much. Merlin soon found that he was actually deepening the kiss more so than before. Yes, he was making up for lost time, but still was unsure as to how long she would be here with him for. Best to make the most of it now than regret it.
"I...erm..." he murmered as he broke off, but found that still he had no idea as to what to say to her after that. "Was...that what you wanted?" he asked, a little unsure of what Freya had meant earlier.
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Post by em on Dec 11, 2011 15:30:23 GMT -5
Merlin could see that Freya was beginning to show signs of weakening without the feel of the water on her feet anymore. He needed to spend more time with her. As if on impulse he scooped her up into his arms like he had done when carrying her to the lake before, and walked back to where they'd been sitting. He placed her down gently by the lake, allowing her feet to rest in the water. "There..." he said, "You shouldn't do that - It weakens you."
What had he been saying? Oh yes, about them. About how she was willing to take the risk. It was a risk that Merlin knew would be a great one. On his part anyway. As her hand grasped his resting on her cheek, he knew that she was right. He would never know if he tried.
Merlin leant over and gently pressed his lips against hers, just like he had done before. Was it what she had wanted or expected? It was what he expected. The same familiar sensation in the pit of his stomach was still there, so that was a good sign. Merlin pulled away and looked at her for a few moments. He had no idea what she was thinking, and right now he knew all too well how reckless this could potentially be. The thing was - he was Merlin, and right now he didn't care about that. It was what he felt that mattered.
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Post by em on Dec 11, 2011 15:02:11 GMT -5
"No" he replied, feeling the pressure of her hand on her, "It hasn't". He looked down at her. She was still the same to him and apprently her feelings hadn't changed in the years that they had been apart.
Merlin turned to her, noticing that she was now out of the water. Hopefully she would be ok for a little while longer. He rested his hands on her hips and looked into her eyes. "Freya..." he began but found himself just staring at her, as though they'd merely been seperated for two minutes rather than two years. "I can't hide my feelings from you, even if I wanted to...they are still here and I can feel them. Even after such a long time apart...i just..." he paused.
"I just don't want to end up seeing you hurt again..." he told her, knowing full well that whoever associated themselves with him were playing with fire, and would be burned eventually. His hands brushed a lock of hair from obscuring her face, fingers slightly traching obver her cheek bone.
"Perhaps..." he then shook his head and gave a small laugh, "No...you wouldn't let me." he told her. The idea he had right now, to try and figure out and confirm just what he was feeling, was insane.
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Post by em on Dec 11, 2011 14:49:04 GMT -5
Merlin had gone against the idea of leaving Arthur in such a state. He was clearly torn between what he thought was right and what he should be doing. Of course, since he'd found the ring - the engagement ring he'd given to Gwen, to be precise - it hadn't left his grasp. Instead Merlin would find him sitting there and turning it over and over in his hands, as though it would somehow magically return Gwen to his side if he wished hard enough.
Merlin wanted nothing more than for his friend to return to Camelot. She was part of Arthur and Arthur part of her. No matter how much the King threatened to Exile him along with her, Merlin knew that Arthur knew that deep down, he was still in love with her. "How can I love someone who betrayed me?" He'd asked. Of course Merlin knew how. Such a strong and rightful bond between two people like Arthur and Gwen could never be broken, no matter how many times or how many obstacles would stand their ground to shatter it.
"You will find her y'know" Merlin commented, stopping as he reached the door. He could tell that Arthur was still sat mentally wrestling with his concience. "I know you sent guards out looking for her around Camelot...but I know that if you look harder - she will be waiting for you - Exiled or not".
Tagged: Arthur PendragonTimeline: S4 Ep 11 Setting: Arthur's bedroom - after the ring scene  |
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Post by em on Dec 11, 2011 14:22:37 GMT -5
Merlin shook his head at her words. "It's not silly" he said honestly, "Really...because I felt the same too - its just..." he paused, "Back then - I was younger and inexperianced. I didn't know what my feelings were but I knew that for you, they were strong..."
It was forbidden. No matter how great the feelings were, it could never be...could it?
"They still are..." he finished and quickly stood up, running his hands through his hair. "We could've been together" he admitted, "We should have run away when we had the chance". They wouldn't have been in this situation now - they would have been happy. Together. Far away from Camelot. No destiny. No obstacles. Just Love, a small village, a few fields, a couple of cows...and a Lake.
He turned to her. He had thought about her, especially more so after the Morgana incident. They both still felt something and that was for sure. Taking a few steps towards the lake, he looked out onto it, a small frown now drawn to his brows. Why was it that now it all seemed so impossibly hard, and yet so simple?
"What I feel for you now..." he began, "It hasn't changed - I know that much". He felt more for her than before and now he was only starting to realise it. Why did he just have to be so pressimistic about it? There was nothing stopping him from just walking up and kissing her like he had done so a few years back.
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Post by em on Dec 11, 2011 13:53:45 GMT -5
He felt terrible now. Freya looked as though she was about to cry. Wait...was it because he hadn't said...no - yes there had been affection and passionate declerations between them, especially on his behalf. He had cried when she died. Was that how love felt? Merlin didn't know and put it down to loosing someone who actually understood. He had loved her yes, but right now he had no idea how he felt. He was a bundle of emotions given the current happenings.
"I...I'm sorry I just..." he stumbled, "Forget it, I should have never said anything" There it was again, the brushing off of something that he could have said to her, but was too afraid to. At least she wasn't scared of him.
Merlin stared out onto the lake in silence, before he could finally choose what to say without upsetting her. "I suppose I did love you, but I couldn't actually see it at the time until you were gone" he admitted, "In all truth i've never been in love before that, so I didn't really know what those feelings were and why I was getting them." He had seen how special she was, and it was only now that by piecing together every memory of one another that they had - there was something there. Was it still there? He didnt know. Although when he first saw her again back when the vial of water had spilt, he could feel that same feeling start to swirl in his chest.
"Freya..." he began but stopped himself, now unsure how to word the next part, "I...I just...well I still think you're special" he murmered then becoming more confident and adding on what he wanted to say on the end, "to me"
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Post by em on Dec 11, 2011 3:47:11 GMT -5
Merlin made the bird shower drops of water over them. He still had her with him and that was comforting to him. At least the water was keeping her here. Merlin looked at her, not seeing the cursed druid girl anymore, but a content lady who wanted nothing more than to just feel the sun on her face again. "It's hard not to" he told her, "when i've lost so many people already because of my judgement - trying to do what's right for Arthur and Camelot, only for it to go wrong"
He looked back out to the water again. "It seems that destiny always comes with a price".
He caught her glancing up at him again,but not keeping that much eye contact. He let out a small chuckle, "Come on Freya - you know me, there's no need to be shy" his head turned to her, "Unless...unless you're afraid of me?" the question came out with uncertainty. Some people had been afraid of him before, but that was back home where he had no idea just how to control his powers. Only Will had understood, and had thought it was brilliant - whereas others had simply looked at him differently.
"Either way, I couldn't save you enough."
"Remember what I told you? You made me feel loved. And that's more important to me than my freedom or my life had been."
"Because I did lo..." he trailed off and shook his head wondering what on earth had come over him, "It doesn't matter anymore." No, not anymore. That had been long ago. He was different now. Changed by what he'd seen and far stronger than before.
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Post by em on Dec 7, 2011 15:48:40 GMT -5
Merlin smiled to himself as he continued to wade his hand through the water. She had repaid him far more than anyone else. It was her act alone that took back Camelot, had she not have given him the sword. "I had been waiting so long to help you....to see you. I just wish it had been under different circumstances."
He bit his lip at this. To have her here with him now still seemed unreal, but there she was - by his side. Her touch to him was proof of that. "I know..." he replied, "I...I just wish could have done more for you - then perhaps it would have been different." Indeed it would have. They were going to leave Camelot and run away together, had Freya not have decided to go. None of that mattered now - and Merlin didn't blame her for wanting to leave quietly. She hadn't wanted to hurt him.
"You did so much for me....you still are."
He felt her squeeze his hand and looked down at her, finding that she was already looking at him. The last time they'd actually been this close was in the tunnels when he'd kissed her. He didn't know whether now was the right moment, and instead chose to smile weakly at her. "I just wanted you to be happy - to be able to go places where people like Halig wern't hunting you down or chaining you up." he told her, "It was my fault with what happened to you." Of course it was - people he'd known and loved had died because of his faults and ill advised decisions. Freya, Will, Gwen's father (even of Uther had been held responsible)...the list went on.
To distract himself from these thoughts, he held up his hand to the water "fléogenda befleógan" he muttered, sending a bird made out of water fluttering out of the lake and swooping around the air, not realising that his other hand was squeezing Freya's almost on instinct.
Notes: fléogenda - Bird, befleógan - fly around |
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Post by em on Dec 4, 2011 6:32:03 GMT -5
Merlin looked at her, "Because I know you wouldn't do something like that. Had you loved Lancelot you would have gone to him long before that." he told her, "What you have with Arthur, it's different."Merlin gave a small sigh. "I will make him change his mind - even if it kills me, who knows? I might even get a thanks one day" he chuckled, "but until thenyou're safer with my mother."
"There are so many memories there, Merlin. I will try to stay, but I can not live on her hospitality forever. I will have to find a job one day, and try to make a living." Merlin refused to believe this. That Gwen would settle herself down. What would Arthur say if he discovered her working as a barmaid or whatever - even perhaps moving on to some extent that she would be married to another man?! No That wasn't Gwen at all - her feelings for Arthur were too strong to be broken, even now. "No you won't, because I will bring you back.Arthur will bring you back - I know it may seem impossible now Gwen, but you will be together again one day. I just know it."
"I can't imagine life with out you in Merlin. Any of you!" Merlin hugged his friend a little tighter, slipping the ring into her pocket so as she wouldn't notice. He knew that she would need it, and that it would just make Arthur more upset than he was now. Merlin didn't want two broken people.
"You'll always have me Gwen, and you'll always have Arthur, no matter what you or he or anyone else says otherwise." He pulled away from her and gave her a sad smile. "If ever you need anything, anything at all - all you need to do is ask, and I'll do it for you."
Merlin had said enough goodbyes to friends to last a lifetime, but he didn't think that Guinevère would be one of them.
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Post by em on Dec 3, 2011 18:12:20 GMT -5
So she could come back again. That was some consolation. Merlin watched her kick her feet in the water. It was almost as though she was holding onto her lifeline. "You know i'd wait for you" he told her, and then blushed slightly at that fact that it had come out almost too quickly and bluntly for his liking. "To leave the lake again that is..." he managed to save himself from starting to dig a hole. He would wait.
He leant forward and allowed his hand to wade through the water. "I never actually thought i'd see you again..." he started, "but when you appeared to me in the cave when we were hiding from Morgana's men...I...I really didn't know what to think." he admitted and then reallised that probably sounded wrong anyway, "I was happy...of course I was, but it was...well it was just unreal - and when I turned back to talk to you after Gwaine interrupted, you were gone." A look of sadness crossed his face. "Thankyou though, for the sword...for everything."
It was Freya who had given him Excalibur. The sword that had slain the guards as well as the cup of life. He owed everything to her. "Without you...we would'n't have survived." But here he was now. Still living - and right now he felt like he was more than before.
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Post by em on Dec 3, 2011 17:51:47 GMT -5
He felt her head lean against his shoulder and looked down at her. She'd calmed now that she'd had some time adjust to the air instead of water. She seemed more relaxed, and the more relaxed she was; the more relaxed he was too. He smiled broadly - clearly nothing was going to wipe it from his face today.
Just the feel of her was bringing back memories, how they'd fled from Halig and hid under the tunnels, huddling closely together at the time whe he'd followed Merlin down to the tunnels in search of her. She'd been scared, and Merlin had kept his guard up at all times. She had no reason to scared anymore. In all fairness, she seemed far happier than the cursed druid girl that he'd spent nights in a tunnel with, conjuring strawberries and livitating candles.
It was only then that Merlin registered that Freya had spoken about not wanting to go back. He didn't want her to either. He had no idea whether there would be any other opportunity for her to leave the lake again. That thought saddened him. He looked down at her again. "Can you leave the lake again?" he murmered. Or would this be it? Their last parting? He truly hoped that this wasn't the case, and that she would be there waiting for him again.
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??!!!!!
