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Post by pie on Dec 23, 2010 3:33:05 GMT -5
 "Thinking about what?" he asked nosily, though by the smile on his face, it was obvious it was a joke. He would never pry into anything she didn't want to tell him, unless he felt that it was very serious. Though, he wasn't sure that this wasn't something serious, as... why would Gwen have to think in the middle of the forest alone? And when she could be with Arthur, since it was his watch and everyone was asleep?
When she patted the space beside her, he didn't hesitate to sit down beside her. He sat there, and listened as she spoke. It wasn't much, but the weight that the words obviously carried was. She told Arthur about Morgana... Well... that couldn't be good... And that was what made him connect the fact that she was sitting out here alone in the woods, "thinking". Merlin thought of Gwen as a sister, she was the closest thing he had to one. And he wouldn't deny that he felt protective of her like a brother would. If Arthur had done anything rude, which would only be the typical Arthur, Merlin would want to argue with the Prince.
"It take it that he didn't take it well?" he asked in a soft voice.
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Post by pie on Dec 23, 2010 3:24:17 GMT -5
Merlin wanted to sigh as Gwen continued to talk. Yes, he knew that Morgana was like a sister to Gwen. Sadly, though, Morgana was different, more so than Gwen knew about. Morgana was the traitor within Camelot's walls. She wanted to kill Uther, as if that would really help much. What would she do about Arthur after that? Kill him, probably... But how would that help her in any way? "I know what you mean," he said a little quietly. The words didn't entirely come from emotion that he would think Arthur might feel -- could Merlin deny that Morgana had been like family to him, also? "Hopefully, with time, she will see that we are still here for her."
When Gwen shut the door, Merlin began to get a strange feeling in his stomach. One that didn't entirely disagree with the notion of jumping out the window behind him. And when she walked closer, and his found that his feet were moving backwards on their own, he assumed that they agreed with this impulse also. He had to stop letting them move themselves, though, because he... well, it would appear strange if he didn't. "Bed sounds... good," he agreed, nodding. When she placed her hands on his -- Arthur's? -- chest, inviting him to kiss her, the only thought that ran through his mind as he stared at her with wide eyes was, Arthur's going to kill me!
What should he do?!
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Post by pie on Dec 23, 2010 3:12:15 GMT -5
 Leave... Camelot?
Out of everything the Prince had ever said or suggested, out of everything that had happened in the past three years, nothing had hurt Merlin any more than this. The day just kept getting worser and worser. First Arthur found out about his magic, then he got angry that he had been lied to, then he refused to speak, then he sacked him... and now he was telling him to leave Camelot? Why? Even if he was sacked... How could Arthur just tell him to up and leave? His life had become Camelot, his heart lied within it's walls.
And now he was told he should leave.
He didn't respond to this. He didn't know how to respond to this. What was there to say to this? There was no arguing with the Prince. He was stubborn, angry, upset. He wasn't in a mood to be reasoned with, and Merlin wasn't in a mood to try to reason with him anymore. In fact, he was the furthest from in the mood. He was far too devastated -- depressed, even -- and shocked. He stood there, rooted to the spot, completely silent, his expression turning from the pleading, begging look to a completely blank one. There was no emotion to show, he didn't know what to show.
He wasn't sure of anything anymore. Had this whole "destiny" thing been a lie? It must have been, he couldn't fulfill it now, not if Arthur was sacking him and telling him to leave. Arthur didn't want him around anymore. He couldn't ignore the Prince's words, he was the Prince, after all. What he said was law, unless the King said otherwise. To disobey the Prince could be taken as far as to be considered treason in some cases.
But furthermore, he didn't want to anger Arthur any more than he already had. Arthur hated him, he wasn't sure if it could get any worse, but from how things had been going so far, it had to be possible. He didn't want that, even though that thought and wish was more subconscious than anything else -- because outwardly, he didn't know what he wanted.
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He had nothing to say. Instead, he stared at the Prince with misted eyes and nodded a few times, appearing totally unsure of himself, as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't decide what. He blinked, nodded again, and simply turned around and walked away. . .
[Look what you did, Arthur!! lol]
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Post by pie on Dec 23, 2010 2:54:08 GMT -5
"Fiiine," he sighed, shaking his head as if disappointed. He silently agreed that his words and amused tone might be... unreasonable, as was calling Arthur a Princess. But still... how could he not find this entire situation hilarious? It was Arthur, a masculine man, reduced to having to wear female clothing and makeup! What wasn't there to find funny?
Perhaps the fact that he had to too...
For a moment, Merlin was sincerely confused. Was Arthur actually offering to do the makeup for him now? After a few seconds, though, when Arthur finally finished speaking, his eyes went wide and he pulled the makeup against his chest as if protecting it, taking a few steps backwards as he did so. "You know, on second thought..." Yes, he would just have to do it himself, he assumed. It would probably be easier, anyway.
He would sit down on the bed as he put the makeup on, as it would make it easier than having to use one hand so the other could hold the makeup, but... well, he knew that things had happened in that bed, so he sure as hell wasn't about to sit on it! Awkwardly, he began to brush on strokes of purple eyeshadow on, then continued on with the rest of the makeup so that he would eventually finish with what he decided was a pretty good job for having to do one's own makeup!
"So...?"
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Post by pie on Dec 23, 2010 1:19:22 GMT -5
 Right, just like Arthur said, once they arrived in Ealdor, and the Prince got a good look at the village's layout, a plan would come easier. There had to be a way to defeat the men raiding the village. There was a way, they just had to figure it out. If they didn't... no, he wouldn't, couldn't, think of that. That alternative was far too unpleasant. He had thought their chances were much grimmer earlier. He couldn't think of anything to save Ealdor except magic, and unless Gwen or Morgana were able to come up with something... But now that they had a skilled fighter here, their chances seemed brighter.
"Yes, of course," he agreed. He couldn't exactly hide all of the worry in his voice, but he could hide some of it. Who could blame him, though? He had grown up in Ealdor, it was his home. Of course he was going to worry for the people who lived there. They were all like family to him. And then Arthur mentioned sleep. He was right there, too. It would be a very long next few days. What, with planning a defense, readying the villagers, waiting out Kanen's men, and actually fighting and all. He nodded, and remained silent for a few moments before adding -- and in a slightly nervous tone, as he was unsure of how to put it --, "Thank you, um... I know you didn't have to come." Though he was immensely appreciative that he did.
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Post by pie on Dec 23, 2010 0:55:05 GMT -5
 Merlin sighed and looked away from Arthur once more. "Right, so trying to be a hero, here," he mumbled sarcastically to himself. Why couldn't Arthur just accept the offer? Or at least not insult him... if you could technically call it that. Of course he didn't appear the type that would be able to hold his own... And of course, he probably wouldn't be able to, with both Morgause, Morgana, and Cenred's men -- leaving out the King, of course -- all within the building. Still, he might be able to put up a fight.
When Arthur said that it would only be fair for him to get them all out, Merlin looked back at him. Fine, let the Prince just think that. He hadn't gotten them into this mess, Morgana did. She was the traitor, after all. He couldn't just tell this to Arthur, though. Besides, he wouldn't believe him. "Arthur..." he sighed again and shook his head. Of course Morgana would know that Arthur and Gwen had feelings for each other. She was close to the Prince, and to Gwen. Being around the two so much, surely she would be able to figure it out after all that time. "Well, Morgause has magic, Arthur. We should both know the kinds of things magic can do. Perhaps she was spying on the two of you," he offered, and added to himself, One day, these words are going to dig me into a hole.
Working on it? "Sooo..." he drawled out in a tone that was a mix of disbelief and seriousness. "You don't have a plan?" It was more of a statement than a question. He didn't mean to sound pessimistic or anything, but really, without a plan, the more danger they were in. The more danger the others were in. And, while Arthur may be thinking on one, that didn't change that fact. He also gave a reluctant -- but unable to hide some relief -- nod to Arthur's last words.
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Post by pie on Dec 23, 2010 0:18:12 GMT -5
He had begun to slide down the railing just in time, it seemed, for as he had begun to slide, Arthur had almost managed to grab him! He sighed with relief, even as he slid down at an accelerating rate. Eventually though, the banister would end, and then he would be back at the same speed as Arthur! To add to this encroaching fear, the speed he was going at with the stairs rushing past his vision did nothing to quell his dizziness.
Arthur was beginning to catch up, and Merlin knew that if he was caught, he was most definitely dead. This believe was only strengthened by the echoing bray that issued forth from the Prince's mouth. Even though he did not speak the language of the donkey, he was positive that it was some kind of threat. Why wouldn't it be? Personally, Merlin didn't think he deserved death, he wasn't being serious when he said those things, after all. But how would Arthur know that? "Never!" he replied with an exclamation.
Clinging to the railing for dear life as he sped down it -- he didn't want to fall off of it to his death or very painful agony -- he began to wonder... just how many more stairs were there until he reached the end? Obviously not many, but still, in his nearly incoherent state, it felt like forever... Or perhaps it was just that fear of his impending doom. Either way, he quickly became aware that his hands felt as if they were burning off! Little did he know that he was giving himself a burn from the friction of his hands pulling down along the railing.
What he was concerned about, though, was that burning. Without even thinking, he removed his hands from the railing and shook them painfully. To remove them, however, he had to sit upwards as he slid, which wasn't the greatest of ideas. Slowly -- but still rather quickly considering the current situation -- he realized what was going to happen next. Almost at that same moment, he slid sideways and off of the railing, swinging his arms at the same time his eyes went wide.
And then he fell off.
Landing on the ground practically face first -- and thankfully it wasn't too far down -- he groaned and began to scramble his way to his feet.
[IT ISSSSSSS! LOL, I would have loved to seen it for real!]
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Post by pie on Dec 7, 2010 0:39:03 GMT -5
He was... sacking him? Merlin whirled around to face the Prince. He felt as if his whole world would crumble right then and there, as if the past three years, and then some, hadn't mattered in perspective of whatever greater force existed out there. Merlin's emotions were so torn right now that he didn't know how to respond for many moments. What was he to respond with? Should he be angry, or upset, or neither? All he could do was stare with wide, shocked eyes.
Even though Arthur had been so angry, he had never expected him to actually fire him. He had been Arthur's servant almost the whole time he had lived in Camelot, had bonded with the Prince, had become more than just friends with him. So why would he fire him? Surely Arthur felt the same way about him, right? That they were closer than friends?
Then again, Arthur had always been that annoying jerky type towards him... But he had changed, so was he, really? Merlin's thoughts whirled around so much in his head that he didn't know what to think of it. Should he just walk away, and return to Camelot? Or should he go back to Ealdor? Or maybe, perhaps, he should laugh it off and ignore it? No, the Prince meant what he said, so he couldn't do that. But he couldn't return to Camelot now, what would he say? What would he do? How would he explain that he was fired? To Gaius, or even to Gwen?
He felt so conflicted at that moment. He both want to throw something at the Prince again, and on the other hand, wanted to plead with him not to do this, to forgive him, to follow him back to Camelot and issue an apology the whole way. But what did he have to apologize for? Lying, yes. But for having magic? Merlin was born with it, it was a gift, he had no say in how he was born, of the circumstances of his birth. So what should he do or say?
"Y-You're sacking me?!" he called out, his voice cracking as he forced himself to speak. His words carried his shock and disbelief. "N-No, y-you're kidding, you're joking. This is just some kind of cruel joke, to make me regret lying to you. Y-Yes, that's it! Well it worked, I'm sorry! Haha, you had your laugh, so drop the joke, please, I won't hide anything from you ever again, I swear! On my life, yes, let's go with that! Ask me anything, I'll answer it! Please, the joke isn't funny!" He knew it wasn't a joke, knew the Prince wasn't lying, but he couldn't help but hope by some small sliver of a chance that it was a joke...
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Post by pie on Dec 5, 2010 21:07:35 GMT -5
Merlin had just been taking a small, quick walk outside of Camelot. It was autumn, a beautiful season except for the shift from warmth to cold. However, with all the leaves changing from green to a myriad of orange’s and gold’s, it was pretty worth it. It seemed such a magical scene, with leaves blowing off of trees and collecting in piles which one could happily jump in to hear a satisfying crunching sound. Even as he walked, purposefully stepping on any and all leaves in his path, he heard them crumbling beneath his feet.
Now, coming closer to the place where he knew Brynn herded her geese, he wondered what she was up to, of if she was at home. He mind as well go pay a friendly visit, right? Changing his course just slightly, he wandered in that direction now.
He liked taking walks, away from the Prince. They were always much more satisfying, without having to go to a certain place, or being ordered around or… many other things. He just liked to be alone with his thoughts. Thoughts he obviously couldn’t share with him. Also, he was always able to play with magic a little if no one else was around.
As he reached where she lived, he started to slow his pace, walking so that he didn’t step on any more leaves at the moment. And as he walked, he noticed something that rather… held his attention. The leaves that had fallen were moving. Not from the wind – well, not just wind itself – but they moved in more of a… magical way. Yes, magical. Were they being controlled by magic, he wondered. Curious, Merlin walked closer, and more silent then before, as he didn’t want to startle the person who was doing it.
The closer he walked, the more entranced he was by the beautiful event. By the way they moved around, twirled and danced. He also noticed, the closer he went, a person sitting amongst them by a lime tree. He recognized the person, yes, but he kept his eyes more trained on the moving leaves until he came to a stop about ten feet behind her. He didn’t realize that if Brynn noticed him, he would possible scare her from his sudden appearance.
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Post by pie on Dec 5, 2010 19:56:56 GMT -5
Merlin hadn’t been able to sleep very well that night. In fact, he hadn’t been able to sleep well since the whole “Fall of Camelot” thing. Sitting up in his bedroll, he tried to discern what time it was – all he managed to figure out was that it was: late. Rubbing his tired eyes, he looked around him, noticing the others were asleep. At least, all but Arthur and Gwen. And, seeing how Gwaine was fast asleep, or at least laying there, he assumed it was the Prince’s turn to take the watch at the moment.
He didn’t want to interrupt anything that might be going on between his two friends – as he assumed that they would both be together right now – but nor did he want to lie on the ground any longer. Therefore, he decided, he would just tae a walk around. If he happened across the pair, then so be it.
Climbing out of his bedroll, he stood up as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake anyone, and crept away from the camp, into the forest, where he could walk normally, though still stay on guard for wandering men. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if he was spotted by Morgana’s many men.
He still couldn’t believe that this was what Morgana would do. He blamed all of it Morgause, she was using her sister for her own benefits, he decided. Though, he couldn’t fully blame it on her, what would have happened, after all, had he not tried to poison her?
Almost tripping on nothing, Merlin pulled himself out of his thoughts. And, after a minute or two o staring ahead, he noticed Gwen sitting alone on a rock not too far away. Why was she sitting all alone? He wondered. He almost asked aloud, “What’s Arthur done this time?” Making his way towards her, and not exactly being silent, he’d come to stand beside her.
“Gwen, what are you doing so far from camp, alone?” he asked softly, crouching down next to her.
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Post by pie on Dec 4, 2010 3:09:47 GMT -5
Merlin still couldn't believe Arthur had acted so to a simple truth. Except that that truth was not really simple, it was perhaps the biggest lie he had told anyone, a lie that he feared had cost him his friendship with the man. Arthur had found out about his secret, about his magic, and had not been happy. Merlin hadn't put enough faith in the man he dared to call his best friend, and now fate had come back at him. Arthur hated him. Or so, he believed.
He couldn't return to Camelot. What would he do there? Everything that he could possibly do involved Arthur. Yes, he had abandoned Camelot, hadn't gone back to say goodbye to Gaius or Gwen. Would this change anything? Or would, by going to Ealdor, he put his mother and the rest of the village at risk? He didn't know if Arthur would wind up telling his father -- even now, in this darkest hour, he couldn't bring himself to have faith that Arthur would not. The Prince had been so angry.
So he was returning to Ealdor, and he would ask his mother if he could stay there for a while. He didn't know when, if at all, he would return to Camelot. He didn't want to face an angry Arthur, but would the man ever be able to forgive such a betrayal? He was walking back to Ealdor, fitting as the first time he gone to Camelot he had walked from the village. The cold morning rain was drenching him to the skin, making him shiver. Yet he didn't notice, and even if he did, he wouldn't care, he was too dispirited. Any and all anger at Arthur had diminished over the time it had taken him to walk as far as he had gone.
By the time he made it to Ealdor, the rain still pouring from the cloud-darkened sky, his steps came slow and unmeasured, moving with the walk of a man that felt that he had lost everything. And surely he had, for Arthur was everything -- he had been his friend, and his destiny resided with the man. He didn't pay any attention to anyone that happened to be out in the heavy rain, those who directed him smiles and words of welcome. No, to Merlin, none of them were even there. He just walked straight to his house, walking to the door where he would stand for a few moments.
He didn't want to just barge in, so he raised his hand to knock. But even that he couldn't bring himself to do, and he wound up lowering his hand and leaning against the door where he slid down into a sitting position. He would work up the nerve to knock eventually, unless his mother found him first, sitting out front. Which, to Merlin, seemed the more likely. He leaned his head back and stared upwards with unblinking eyes. To anyone who looked, it appeared that the man might be silently crying, but the rain made it hard to tell for sure. . .
Place: Ealdor
Time: Early Morning
Timeline: After "Sorcerer's Shadow" -- When Merlin leaves for Ealdor during "The Truth Can Hurt" thread
Tagged: Hunith Caradoc
Notes: This is a follow-up to the "What If?" thread.
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Post by pie on Dec 4, 2010 0:03:47 GMT -5
Awww, thank you everyone who voted for me! <3!!! And thank you, Arthur, I am glad you think I am good at him  .
Kolby, I still laugh at reading that quote! I found it absolutely HILARIOUS! He sure is an awesomely funny guy!
And I just read Advice today, lol! And a great thread it is! It is deserving of TotM!
Congrats you three!
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Post by pie on Dec 3, 2010 19:25:40 GMT -5
Did Arthur really think of him as a hypocrite? The words sobered some of Merlin's anger, and his expression softened. He was right, of course. He always told Arthur to tell him things, to open up, but he never trusted his secret in him, never told him that one detail about him that made him different from most servants, most people Arthur knew. Merlin had been afraid of how Arthur would feel about this, about whether or not he would tell Uther. He had never trusted in the man he called his best friend. Arthur had every reason to hate him. . .
But still, he knew Merlin's character, his personality. Didn't that account for anything? Didn't that mean anything to him? He didn't want to cause any harm, he just wanted to protect the Prince! Just wanted to be by his side. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why couldn't they just go back to a normal relationship, where this sort of thing didn't bother them? Where they could insult each other and not take it to heart, to joke and come up with responses to tease the other.
How was he suppose to respond to that? It wasn't a lie, it was the truth. He hadn't put faith in their friendship... that made him a hypocrite, didn't it? He had known what the consequences of hiding it might be... Why, then, did it make him feel so devastated? He had known this would happen, so why...?
"I might be a hypocrite, but..." he began, but faltered. But what? There was no "but". "But at least I'm not..." Everything he wanted to say would contradict his actions. Everything he wanted to say to try to convince Arthur to think of him otherwise, could be counted against his actions. "At least I know where I still stand. I am not against you, why do you have to be against me?"
He still faced the opposite direction from Arthur, but he glanced over his shoulder, only to see the, cold and inexpressive look. That look, and those words, made Merlin flinch and direct his gaze downwards, away from those cold eyes. He hadn't lied to him every single day! Only about his magic! Half the things he had done he wouldn't have been able to do had it not been for Arthur being there! But the words "believed that you were a trusted friend" only tore at him more. He had just admitted that he had thought of him as a friend, and now... he didn't.
"Arthur... I'm sorry," he said quietly, his voice holding no anger. He couldn't think of anything else to say, and in Arthur's anger, he doubted that his words would be given much credit to. No, Arthur was too angry... would he continue to be this angry towards him?
[Yes, yes we do! ]
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Post by pie on Dec 2, 2010 22:45:16 GMT -5
 He continued to hold her close, rocking back and forth, lost in the moment. He didn't see her as his enemy at this moment, as the "darkness" to his "light", or the "hatred" to his "love". He saw her as the woman he cared deeply for, a woman he had come to respect. A woman that he would give anything for to protect. He didn't want any harm to come to her, for anyone to hurt her for any reason at all. He feared what Morgause's plans could bring about for Morgana. They were sisters, yes, but what if Morgause's ambitions got the better of her? He didn't want to see Morgana in any pain or trouble, he wanted to see the happy smile that she had just been showing.
Merlin rested his head against the top of hers, breathing in the scent of her hair. He closed his eyes as he held her, feeling as if his body was bathed in sunlight because of its warmth. He didn't want to let go, he had missed her so much over the year she had been gone, and he felt that if he let go, it would turn out to be a cruel dream, and that she would be gone again... or they would be enemies once more. No, he didn't want that to happen, didn't want to wake up. This wasn't a nightmare, it was a pleasant sweet dream. A dream he could stay in forever.
When she pulled away and looked into his eyes, he found himself doing the same, unable to look away. She was breathtakingly beautiful, he could not deny it. He had thought so from the very first time he had laid eyes on her. The year he hadn't seen her had done nothing to diminish that perfect beauty. Even as she caressed his cheek and spoke, he found himself at a loss for words. "Morgana," he obliged to her request, drawing the name out as he did so. Even her name sounded perfect, was perfect.
He reached out slowly, carefully, and brushed the lock of hair that fell into her face away, brushing his fingers against her cheek as he did so. Being so close, and not in a tense or sad atmosphere, he felt his heart continue to beat quickly. He didn't protest when she leaned up and kissed him. As her arms came up to wrap around his neck, his came up from behind to stroke her long hair.
Then she said she loved him.
He couldn't hide a slightly surprised look. They were complete opposites, or so it seemed. Their goals were completely different in every aspect. But... He couldn't deny, either, that he had had a crush on her from the moment he saw her. Or that over the years he had felt himself become closer to her, willing to do almost anything she had asked. Was it just a loyalty of friendship? Or something more? But... they couldn't be together, could they? She was the King's ward, and he a servant. Yes... Arthur and Gwen were together, so was it that impossible?
His surprised look faltered, taking on instead a calm and serene one. Then he felt himself lean in on his own and kiss her again. He knew then, exactly how he felt. Pulling away, he stared into her eyes once more, his breathing slow as he looked into her brilliant green eyes.
"Morgana... I love you too."
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Post by pie on Dec 2, 2010 21:15:37 GMT -5
Merlin didn't miss the smile that crossed Morgana's face. He eyed her with un-contained confusion. But her smile didn't hold any of that malice, and nor did her eyes. What was she playing? Did she want to trick him again like she did when she first returned, telling him she had forgiven him? No, he didn't want to be tricked like that again, only to find out that it was all a lie, it hurt enough the first time. But the second time? It would only hurt more. So why, then, did he find himself trying to hide a smile that wanted to come from looking at her own?
Then she stood up, and his heart began to beat quickly as she watched him. He glanced away, at the vial in his hand, and continued to awkwardly hold it out for her, bidding her to take it. How he wished that that smile was true, that the Morgana he stood before was the old Morgana, not the new, cold-hearted one. How he wished... that her words on the day she returned had been true. He just wanted his friend back, the one he could trust, the one who he had held her secret for, the one that he had spent his time with during his time in Camelot.
He looked back up at her, his own pain showing on his face. What was the point of hiding it? She had to know that it bothered him, that he still cared for her, that all of this was just too hard for him to handle. He had saved Camelot many times from it's enemies, but he had always had a soft spot for Morgana. When he had poisoned her, it had been so hard to watch her suffer. And to think that he would have let her die... He couldn't help but silently thank Morgause for coming, for being able to save Morgana from that pain. No, he couldn't blame her for leaving him to die, he had done it first.
That was when she spoke his name, drawing him from his thoughts. He looked at her with sad eyes, revealing all those emotions on his face as she took the vial from his hand. And then she wrapped her arms around him and... apologized? Was she telling the truth? Or was she lying again, to try and trick him into believing that she really was sorry? Still, he found his arms coming up to wrap around her, holding her tight. He couldn't help but believe her, he wanted to believe her. He still cared for her. "Morgana... why?" he asked, keeping his voice low and gentle.
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Post by pie on Dec 2, 2010 19:16:51 GMT -5
Merlin took a deep breath as she answered in her emotionless voice. How much she had changed... She used to greet him more warmly, there used to be joy, real joy, in that voice, not coldness. How much he missed that Morgana, even if she had still hated Uther and attempted his death several times, he had still cared deeply for her. With a pounding heart, Merlin pushed the door ajar and peered in before slipping into the room, watching her. He could hide his wary expression good enough, as he didn't want to appear suspicious of anything she might do, even though she probably knew he would be.
He shut the door behind him, and even in his silence, the door's click sounded loud in his ears. Even though he didn't like what she had become, he'd still continue to keep her secret unless it was vital to do otherwise. And who would believe him, a servant, over her, the King's ward, anyway? He had to pull out of his thoughts, because he didn't want to appear as if he had come here for absolutely no reason or to appear rude by staring. Looking away, he fumbled with his jacket pocket to pull out a small clear vial filled with liquid. He held it up to show her, and walked closer.
"Gaius wanted me to bring you this," he said in a normal tone. "It's the remedy he used to give you for your dreams before you... left. He thought you might like it, just in case." He fell silent, and continued to hold the vial out for her to take, once more staring at her with his blue eyes. He wished that he could pinch himself and wake up. Wake up from what had to be a long dream. That he would wake up from this nightmare he was walking in and instead be back with the happy Morgana, the Morgana he had enjoyed spending time with.
But this wasn't a nightmare, sadly. It was the truth, and he couldn't wake up from it. He'd have to live with a Morgana that had been corrupted by Morgause over the past year. If he hadn't poisoned her, would Morgause have taken her away? Would there have been a possibility that Morgana wouldn't be this way? She had helped Cenred's army get in, had created an army of skeletons to aid in the process, all bent on destroying Camelot under Uther's rule.
"I should go," he said, more to himself than to Morgana.
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Oct 7, 2011 20:25:46 GMT -5
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Post by pie on Dec 2, 2010 17:46:11 GMT -5
After all of the events that had recently happened, Merlin wasn't sure of what to feel. Morgana was back, and at first he was afraid that she would tell Uther he poisoned her, and then he had believed she had forgiven him... And now it turned out that she was just lying, and she was really evil and was the traitor within Camelot. He didn't mind much her taking the credit for saving Camelot, but it was the why that did. She wanted Uther dead. She used to be one of the nicest people he knew, and now she was as cold as stone. Perhaps he shouldn't have poisoned her, he didn't want to, but he had to.
Walking through the castle, he headed towards Morgana's chambers. Gaius had tasked him with bringing Morgana her old sleeping medicine, just in case she needed it. Really, though, Merlin had wanted to come and have a talk with her, even though he knew that there was nothing he could say to change her mind. He just wished there was something... Something that he could say or do that would make her see that this didn't have to be the way it happened. But how would that come to be? What did he have to do to make her realize that? Was there anything?
"Morgana," he called softly, knocking on her chambers door. He half wished that she was in there, and half not. He wanted to see her, but he also didn't. They both knew that the other opposed each other's actions, Morgana and Morgause had even left him to die when he followed her. But could he blame her? He had done the same to her...
Place: Morgana's Chambers
Time: Morning
Timeline: Sometime after "The Tears of Uther Pendragon Part II".
Tagged: Morgana Le Fay
Notes: This is an AU thread
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Post by pie on Dec 1, 2010 1:21:21 GMT -5
He was becoming more and more frustrated by the moment! Arthur still wouldn't speak, though Merlin believed he knew the answer to his question. Arthur didn't care if he left, did he? The fact that he could just so easily throw everything he had thought they had had only tore at Merlin more. Tore him, and made his anger grow.
Arthur knew he had magic now, and nothing could change now that he hated him, could it? He was in the mix of wanting to do something rash or walk away. Merlin had saved his life so many times... He had lost count he had done it so often. And what thanks did he get? None. A friend who turned his back on him and hated him now. A great appreciation. He had always hoped that when Arthur found out, that sure, he might be angry at first, but he would at least let him try to explain!
No, instead, he didn't want to talk at all, ask any questions that he might have about him. Merlin would have answered them all now, truthfully too. But instead, he wouldn't be, because Arthur wanted to be a prat and walk back to Camelot in silence. And wouldn't even tell him if he really wanted him gone or not! He at least wanted to know for sure whether or not Arthur really wanted him gone! Wanted to hear it from his mouth so that he knew if he had perceived him right.
Clenching his hands tightly, Merlin looked to his side and saw a decent sized rock. Picking it up, he hurled it at the retreating man. He didn't care if somehow Arthur managed to notice it and move out of the way, all he cared about was that it was satisfying to throw it at him! And all the more so if it actually did hit him!
"I can't believe you!" he yelled furiously. Arthur might not want to talk, but Merlin had to say anything before he decided what to do. "This is why I didn't tell you! Because you'd act like this! I had hoped that you would have more faith in me! I've only ever used my magic to help you, and Uther," who cared about titles right now?! "and Camelot, and only others who deserved it! You're just like your father! Are you going to rule like him to?! Are you going to keep magic outlawed and make enemies yourself because of it?! Some destiny that turned out to be -- a complete lie!
"Everything. Everything I did, was for you. 'Protect the Young Pendragon,' 'Protect the future King,' 'He cannot die.' I have spent the last three years doing just that! I had felt you were my friend. But no! You're just a... an arrogant, egotistical, supercilious, pompous... jerk." Done his rant, and ending with a choked tone, Merlin turned around in the opposite direction. Fine, he would leave, he would go home... He wouldn't return.
Even though after a few days he would, hoping everything would calm down. . .
He stood there, as if hoping Arthur would say something to try and change his mind, even though he found it highly impossible. And he just had to add one more thing before allowing the Prince to do whatever he chose. "I had always hoped... that you would be the understanding friend I had thought you to be."
[Woot! Page two!]
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Post by pie on Nov 30, 2010 22:09:06 GMT -5
Merlin hadn't expected Arthur to have such a... cold look about him. When he pulled away from him, he flinched, freezing in place. Arthur really was angry with him, and it hurt. Throughout the years he had been at the Prince's side, he had stood by him in the worst of situations, and had never planned on doing otherwise. He would have continued to stay at his side no matter what happened, no matter what was going on.
But something so simple as his secret being revealed had ruined that. Why did it have to be so? After everything the two had been through together, this had to be how it ended? Would it end? He had expected Arthur to be angry when he found out, had expected the man to possibly even hate him, but he had thought... that after all they had been through, maybe, just maybe, Arthur would be able to easily forgive him. That maybe, Arthur was the friend he had hoped him to be for all these years. He should have known better.
When Arthur pulled away, he wasn't able to react. He just stared at him with shocked eyes, the icy look on his -- friend's? -- face holding him in place. And when he spoke, the words seemed like a dagger to his heart. Nothing to say? Nothing at all? Couldn't he yell? Voice his angry emotions at least? Let him know what he was thinking? Something...
He had never seen Arthur so indifferent with him. He had thought the man hated them when they first met, or in a hundred other situations, but no... never. How was he to react? What would Arthur do if he followed him back to Camelot? Would he tell Uther? How would he explain this to Gaius? He had just wanted to save his life, not let him die! Didn't that account for anything?
No, because he had lied to him all these years. Hadn't placed enough trust in the man that he had called his best friend. He had feared that he would hate him because of his magic, that he would tell Uther. Never had he just said "let's chance it" and told him, and who knew if he would at all? Until Arthur became King, or until a situation really called for it, who knew if Merlin would ever have told him? But that didn't matter now, as the secret was out.
Nothing to say...
Did he even want him to come back to Camelot? Right now, Merlin wasn't sure if he even wanted to himself. What would he do? With Arthur not wanting to speak with him, how could he walk around Camelot, when all of his memories there held mainly the Prince? Would he even have his job? He wouldn't want to even show up in fear of how Arthur would act, or that he had been expected just not to come anymore.
These feelings of doubts and fears invoked another emotion in him. Anger. He was angry about this whole thing, that Arthur didn't understand that he would only use his magic for good -- for he was sure the man was thinking otherwise! -- and not for evil. That Arthur wouldn't even speak to him!
"You arrogant prat!" he yelled angrily, walking after the leaving man once more. "You complete and utter clotpole!" Usually he was joking when he said these things to the Prince, but now he was not. "What do you want me to do?! Leave?! Because I will! Just say it already! I know it's what you're thinking!"
But he didn't want to, and he knew it. He didn't want to just leave behind all those friends he had made in Camelot. Yet right now, he was so angry that he would probably be able to get half-way to Ealdor or more before he thought twice about it. Right now he was convinced not to use magic for good -- oh how he would love to make one of the tree branches fall on top of the man!
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Post by pie on Nov 30, 2010 0:58:45 GMT -5
Still he didn't say anything! Why didn't he say something? Why wouldn't he say something? He was angry at him, so why not yell? Why not tell him to leave, or... Something! Merlin was becoming so frustrated, so devastated. Why had this happened at all? Why did it have to happen? Why couldn't they just continue to live in "peaceful" silence, without Arthur knowing? Why hadn't he told Arthur his secret before?! But would Arthur have trusted him then, either? Would he have done this exact same thing, walk away from him without speaking? Or would everything have turned out okay?
He needed to do something, had to do something. He didn't want to lose the man as his friend, he cared so much for him, and yes... this happened! Why? He still continued to walk away from him without a single pause, without a single word! It would be like talking to a stone wall! Only worse -- this stone wall could remain angry at him for kicking it! He began to follow him again, quickening his pace so that he would come up a few feet behind Arthur.
"What did you expect me to do?!" he asked incredulously, his voice still as torn as his emotions. "You're the King's son! You've grown up hating magic! I didn't want you to hate me!" Oh, just say something! "What did you want me to do?! Arthur, please!" He reached out desperately to try and grab the Prince's arm. "Please, say something, anything!"
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